You and the Cab You Rode in on...

[marcmayhem]

YOU AND THE CAB YOU RODE IN ON!

11/15/2018

0030 HRS

York, PA



Nothing can compare to the silence of a cool night being curled up in your warm bed. Well maybe winning the lotto and swimming in cash surrounded by hookers and blow…. Or maybe the feeling of 40,000 fans screaming in horror as you pummel some sloppy chump into a stain on the mat. That is just electric, hell that could bring Stephen Hawkins to his feet. Wait he died ehh fuck, it he would still be standin, big brained fucker that he is. Anyways back to where I was cool night, warm bed, belly of hotdogs and Redbull god damn this is a good night.

WHOOM BOOM CRASH POP Pttssssssssss…..

10 Minutes Earlier


Your standard model security guard is seen cruising around in a tactic golf cart. The cart fills the air with its non-evasive eco friendly purr from its ballless engine. The cart hums down an alley its headlights illuminating the various doors on either side, garage door and standard doors alike. The driver with his keen eyes like any trained observer spots something that raises his concern. The cart comes to a jerking stop and the security guard steps out of the cart. As the steam comes from his mouth he leans his head to his shoulder talking in to him lapel mic.

Randy Johnson: This is Johnson I am checking on a possible 423 (B) in aisle 13.

The mic squawks back with a Copy.



Randy looks over behind him and waves some unseen person closer as he leans in to his cart and flips on over head spot lights revealing an orange cord running across the pavement and under a shut garage door. A camera man approaches behind the sworn protector of this aisle 13.


Randy Johnson: You see this is why I was glad you called me. When you approached me about being the star of Storage Protectors, I knew this is the kind of action we would see. You see this is a clear 423 (B)


Cameraman: ummm okay? What is that?


Randy Johnson: unpermitted use of unit. You see this is an extension cord running right in to this unit. Someone has something plugged in there. Probably a grow room for those dank bud. Well this aint Canada hombre!



Randy Johnson walks over to the cord and bends down to the ground grabbing it with both hands he gives a head nod beckoning the camera man closer

.

Randy: Maybe I should give a tag line of something? You know you could edit the line to use in the intro of the opening something like that.


Camera man: look man I don’t know this is the Pilot, I barely graduated college times like this I wish I actually tried…



Randy Johnson: Hey I am Randy Johnson and this is Storage Protectors!!!!




As the catch line ends randy gives a yank to the cord….

WHOOM BOOM CRASH POP

Both men look at each other with a perplexed look, neither was expecting that. Black smoke starts to trickle out around the edges of the door. The smog’s volume increases with each passing moment, a muffled coughing is heard from inside.



Cameraman: was that a cough? Does this normally happen?


Randy: umm no and I am not sure that was a cough?
 
More muffled coughing as smoke billows out form the unit.



Voice: JESUS H PRICE!


Both men take a quick glance at each other then at the door then make a B line for the cart and take cover behind it as the over head door roars open furiously. A man’s outline is seen walking from the opening



Camera man: I see a silhouetteo of a man!

Randy Johnson: Scadamush scadamush!



A hotplate comes rifling out of the unit crashes against the wall behind them followed by a frying pan with burnt hotdogs in it….



Man: Will you two Queens stop your singing over there!


The man walks out of the smokes and in to the light revealing his identity, Marc Mayhem!


Mayhem: God damn will you look at this place?

He turns and walks back in to his home the smokes has dissipated revealing a make shift house complete with desk and laptop, a yoga ball, walls covered in various posters, the WCF Hardcore title and


Randy Johnson: ( now standing behind Marc Mayhem) do you live in here? Why is there a deflated whale shaped..


Marc Mayhem: You mean bed


Marc turns and shoots the out of shape guard a death glare


Randy: No! I mean that deflated whale floatie covered in blankets over there, OH yeah it is a bed my bad.


Marc Mayhem: So what are you doing out here other than bothering my peaceful sleep?


Randy: Well we are filming a show called Storage Protectors!


Marc: What the fuck?! Seriously TV has gotten that bad? Who the hell sold you on this?


Randy: Well I got a call from WCF creative team they wanted to branch out in to all media they wanted must watch TV! They thought with how popular the show Cops is and the show Storage Wars this was a no brainer!


Marc Mayhem: Well if this doesn’t just scream Corey Black’s imagination. First we got the Infinity Kidney Stones, then Jayson Price is making porn with lower quality meat then Taco Bell! Now we got this happy horseshit! The Epic One cant take it anymore. Monday Night Slam can’t come soon enough!



Randy Johnson looking at the camera man with a nervous confusion on his face. The cameraman takes his focus off the shook security guard and puts Mayhem front and center!


Cameraman: Oh Shoot I think we just walked in to a shoot!


Marc Mayhem: Hey tubby wipe the constipated rabbit look of your face haven’t heard nothing yet. Yeah its right I am back in the WCF! I am making my intent known right now, I AM COMING FOR THE TV TITLE! I don’t care who has it, the holiness of High cholesterol Alex Richards or the oversized Jockey Teo Blaze. First thing is first though I have Jayson Price. The living embodiment of the WCF! That is right Mr. 9 title, I am talking about you. The ones great wreatler who was so obesed with letting us all know that the future is now and you were it. Well right about now I would be telling you that I am more clairvoyant than Edwina Lockheart because I see an Epic Drop and Cab ride outta here. Unfortunately you have already taken that Epic drop so all that is left is the Cab Ride for your broke ass.


Cameraman: Of my god Randy what did you think of that?



The camera pans over to Storage Protector sitting on the edge of his tactical golf cart munching on some popcorn. The camera quickly centers back on the Mayhem as he walks in to his storage unit house.




Mayhem: You know Price there is no denying you were good maybe even great and as much as you want to deny this we have a lot in common. Since the day I been here you were jockeying for acceptance, had to be part of Patheon hoping the great Corey Black would notice you. You couldn’t escape his shadow though, so what did you do? You turned on them, you left! Where did that get you? Still in his shadow still 3 steps behind Creeping Death! Then you thought hey I won every title, I will invent the internet title and win that one too. Still didn’t get you out of Corey Black’s Shadow! You can tell yourself that you stepped out of the Shadow but you are still not in the Hall of Fame Mr. Nine Titles. Hell your mentor couldn’t even name one of his pet rocks after you! It doesn’t matter how many titles you won you never won the respect

I get it! When I was in the Hotdog Kings all I ever heard was you’re Logan Junior. Logan carries the team funny even when he double crossed me people still thought I was Logan’s puppet. I won the Hardcore title by myself still in that shadow. Heck we both even hate Torture, but yet this is where the similarities end. You see you are the Dippin Dots of the WCF, the ice cream of future, never had their time and neither did you! The only way that is happening is if Mama Mustache is fucking Marty Mcfly and that Eskimo brother juice rubs off on you and Corey Black turns in to Dr. Brown so he can pull a Flux Capacitor out of your ass during his reach around on you.




The camera shakes and the cameraman dry heaves at that visual.




Marc Mayhem: Yeah I am back and unfortunately Logan isn’t here anymore cause I would love to have another fight with that one! It is okay cause this is going to be the Era of the Epic one Marc Mayhem! IF this was the era of Jayson Price it is over! Just in the nick of time too, look what happened on your watch. The roster is the weakest it has ever been! All the top talent left to find something better, yeah they came calling for me too but I didn’t believe them! I didn’t believe how bad this place has become under the Era of Price. It flourished under Corey Black, Torture, Ice Beckman hell even under Logan but nope not with you, you know why that is? Because you are not the future. You are Adam Young! Know who the Future is Marc Mayhem! I will make the WCF great again! I will start with you, then the TV title and brick by brick I will rebuild this place. So on Slam when I hoist you up over my head and give you a Cab Ride, because you’re too broke for Uber, I am going to stand over you and watch as the realization sets in that I just shut the door on your future!

Randy gets up from the Tactical golf cart and makes his way over to Mayhem.


Randy Johnson: Well that’s all fine and dandy and I really have no clue what you are talking about but you are still in violation on code 586 (c)


Camera man: I thought you said it was 423 (b)?


Randy: It was until I found out he was living there, when you have a heating element and bed it becomes a 586 (c) , So Mr. Mayhem I am sorry but I am going to have to



Mayhem Kicks the guard in the stomach mid-sentence and delivers and Epic Drop on the pavement. He pulls a set of keys out of his pocket and presses the key fob.

BEEP BEEP

The garage door next to his unit flyes open and the burning headlights and humming motor of his cab are exposed! He walks over jumps in the cab and drives off.






Fade to Black






11/17/2018

1348hrs

Manhattan, NY




Mayhem is sitting behind the wheel of his cab stuck in traffic. Cars on either side of him grid locked while he jams out the Credence Clearwater Revival





Doot Doot Doot looking out my backdoor….


Ring…. Ring … Ring…

Mayhem’s phone rings over the blu tooth of the cab interrupting his song.


Marc: Yeah this is Marc


Slamming Sam: Hey Marc, this is slamming Sam from WCF Radio! I am calling to get a quick word with you about slam.


Marc: Sigh…. Go ahead


Slamming Sam: All of WCF wants to know why you returned and what are your thoughts on Jayson Price’s comments he had for you on Twitter.


Marc: Why return? Is that serious have you seen this place it is falling apart! I am here to bail this place out. This is the place were I got my start and I owe it something even if Seth Lerch is gone.


Slamming Sam: Make it great again? How would you do that?


Marc Mayhem: Well once I beat Jayson Price I am going to win the WCF TV title!


Slamming Sam: Okay so how does that help?


Marc Mayhem: Once I do that I end this stupid watch worth TV shit! Then I will build a wall!


Slamming Sam: A wall?


Marc Mayhem: yeah a wall! I will build a wall aaround the locker room and I am going to make all those weak wrestlers pay for it.


Slamming Sam: ummmm?


Marc Mayhem: Yeah the wall is to keep the WCF great no one will cross the wall on to TV until they have gone through the proper channels and proven they are worthy!


Slamming Sam: This sounds like familiar pitch I cant put my finger on it but I think I have heard this before! Anyways enough of that mess how about Price and his comments about You being a C plus wrestler at best?


Marc Mayhem: Well I am okay with that because we all know he has a weakness for a D and Cplus trumps that. He did you catch that pun?


Slamming Sam? Huh?? What pun?


Marc Mayhem: Never mind. Hey Sam?


Click


Slamming Sam: yeah Marc? ..



Slamming Sam Marc?


Slamming Sam: Marc are you there? Well folks I guess we lost him we will have to see what happens on Slam!



Fade to Black