Even The Gods Are Against You Odin
Oct 30, 2018 9:45:37 GMT -5
Stephen Singh, Bonnie Blue, and 1 more like this
Post by Alex Richards on Oct 30, 2018 9:45:37 GMT -5
Line em up!
The harsh, whiskey roughened voice of Alex Richards screams out and instantly the bar top at the Drunken Dragon is covered in boots upon boots filled with Zim-Quila. The members of the Guardians team at Helimination each pick up a boot... each down it.. then do so again.. and again. The alcohol starts to take effective. Damian Kaine drinks down a boot.
Damian Kaine: You know.. I have to admit.. I really regret sending Zombie McMorris to Hell. That was kinda a dick move wasn't it?
That doesn't really sound like Damian Kaine does it? Meanwhile Steven Singh slams a boot and talks shit.
Steven Singh: C'mon you pussies! I'm gonna drink all of you into a coma then piss on your comatose bodies!
Alex Richards: Coma? You mean like Jayson Price?
Steven Singh: Exactly fucking it!
But Steven Singh doesn't drink. This is getting weird.
Noble Savage: I'm going to fucking savagely drink of all you under the table then nobly hold your fucking hair while you puke. Except for you Alex.
Alex Richards: Damn right you ain't.
Noble Savage: Only because you don't have any hair shithead.
But Noble Savage doesn't curse.
Bonnie Blue: Urg.. you guys aren't going to out drink me I promise ya'll that. I need to drink in order to forget Wade Moor. What a mistake he was.
Bonnie definitely wouldn't say that. This is very obviously a dream. This fact becomes more obvious as all the Guardians save for Alex suddenly fade out leaving the Archduke looking pissed.
Alex Richards: The fuck? This is not usually how my drinking dreams end. Now the one that ended with all of us getting arrested for drinking on a water slide. I was cool with that. The one that ended with getting banned from Atlantis for flying that sea plane into it.. that was cool too but.. what gives.
A massive furred, horned goliath walks into the bar. Alex grins.
Alex Richards: Yeah.. I gotta admit. Even in a dream I was gonna out drink those guys. Apparently my mind figured I needed more of a challenge.
The hulking deity snarls.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Alex Richards: Should I?
I AM... YMIR!
He looks self satisfied. Alex looks disgusted.
Alex Richards: I should have known from your better then anyone else attitude. You're one of Odin's friends aren't you?
Ymir: I AM NO FRIEND OF THAT TRAITOR ODIN! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM! I CREATED THE FUCKING EARTH!
Alex Richards: So you're mad because Odin beat you?
Ymir: NO! ODIN DIDN'T BEAT ME! IF ODIN WERE GOD ENOUGH TO DESTROY ME I WOULD BE ABLE TO ACCEPT THAT! BUT HE CHEATED! HE RECIEVED HELP FROM HIS BROTHERS VE, AND VILLI IN ORDER TO SLAY ME!
Alex Richards: Yeah... that makes sense. Odin does always take the easiest.
Ymir: SILENCE MORTAL! YOU DARE INTERUPT A GOD?
Alex Richards: Yeah.. I dare. For three reasons. One, I already beat a god in Odin a few weeks ago. Two, this is my dream. And three.. Odin slayed you so you're already dead.
Ymir laughs.. as befitting a 40 foot giant god is it a booming laugh.
YMIR: DO YOU KNOW WHY I'M HERE? I'M HERE TO AID YOU IN YOUR BATTLE AGAINST ODIN AND ALL OF THOSE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO AID HIM. IF.. AND ONLY IF YOU PROVE YOURSELF WORTHY OF MY GIFTS AND MY TIME!
Alex suddenly hunches over as a spider walks across the bar top in the drunken dragon. He reaches out.. snatches it and eats it as the ancient God laughs.
YMIR: YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT, RIGHT? WELL YOU ARE NO LONGER IN CONTROL OF YOUR ACTIONS RICHARDS. BUT WHO IS?
Alex watches with an open faced, drooling grin as a bat flies into the room. It glides around the dragon for several minutes before revealing it's true form. A caped, and fanged version of Bonnie Blue.
Alex Richards: My mistress! Your will is my duty.
Bonnie Blue: Of course it is. I need you to burn down a school. In an alternative time line one of the students is a more powerful time traveller then I am.
Alex Richards: That cannot be mistress!
Bonnie Blue: It won't be stupid.. if you kill her and kill all of her line in every reality.
Alex Richards: I will do as you wish mistress.
YMIR: NO.. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. THE GUARDIANS HAVE KILLED BEFORE.. I NEED TO MAKE THIS MORE PERSONAL.
Shaun Zach Richards and Rebecca Thatch appear.
Bonnie Blue: I am hungry. And I am sick of them taking up your time. Your only purpose is to serve me Alex.
Alex Richards: My only purpose.
Bonnie Blue: I am hungry. Feed me Shaun.
SZR: Wait.. Alex. I'm your brother. I've always been there for you.. We're been together since the moment you entered wrestling.
Alex doesn't so much as look at Shaun. He grabs him by the throat, lifts the smaller man off the ground and plants him on a table hard, then holds him down.
Alex Richards: Enjoy your meal.. mistress.
Bonnie Blue: I always do. Perhaps someday I'll make you a vampire as well.
Alex Richards: Really?
Bonnie Blue: I could use someone to serve me forever. Besides even as a vampire you will always be less then me.
Bonnie feeds, Shaun screams, blood spurts on the table. Alex watches with no expression on his face as his brother fights for his life. His attempts at fighting back are futile against the time travelling vampire. He quickly fades as Bonnie drinks deeper. She turns to |Alex, his brother's blood still on her face.
Bonnie Blue: Now I need to you kill Rebecca.
Alex Richards: Yes mistress.
Rebecca turns to Alex, tears in her eyes.
Rebecca Thatch: This isn't you Alex.. I love you. You love me. You don't have to do this.
Alex Richards: I want to do this. I want to make my mistress happy.
Alex advances on Rebecca.
Bonnie Blue: Alex stop.
He does.
Bonnie Blue: Do it slowly.. with this. I want her to suffer.
Bonnie hands Alex a broken beer bottle.
Bonnie Blue: Why don't you gouge out her eyes?
Rebecca Thatch: I trust that you aren't going to hurt me.
Her trust was misplaced. Alex would stab out first her right eye.. then her left. Before slashing her throat with what was left of the broken beer bottle. Bonnie laughs.
Bonnie Blue: I wasn't really hungry. They didn't need to die at all. I just wanted to use how loyal to me you were.
Alex Richards: Did I please my mistress?
Bonnie Blue: My control over you is total. I am very pleased.
The nightmare breaks.. the dead bodies of Alex's loved ones disappear leaving only the ancient barbarian giant god and Alex. A paler looking Alex then usual.
Ymir: I KNEW YOU WERE AFRAID! THIS IS WHY YOU NEED MY HELP. YOU MERE MORTALS REEK OF FEAR.. OF WEAKNESS.
Alex Richards: It's true. I am afraid of being controlled.. of being forced to do evil things against my will. But that is not weakness. Weakness would be allowing it to happen. I control what I fear.. it doesn't control me. Some people think that I don't think for myself. Those people are fools. All month long I've been challenging Odin. Damian and I attacked Odin. I did that of my own free will! I did it because I wanted to. I knew there was risk of payback from Odin. I didn't care. Bonnie didn't make that choice for me. I made that choice! I have never been a leader of men. I have always been a member of a group but never the leader. But the fact I'm smart enough to know I'm not a leader does not mean I'm merely a blind follower.
Alex Richards: You want blind followers? Look at Odin's team in Helimination. All of them are in this match... why? Odin promised them nothing. They are all being used by him and none of them so much as question it. When The Guardians win Bonnie will receive a world title shot. So why did 4 other people team up in order to help one person benefit? Because we all know a victory for Bonnie over that false God Odin is a victory for all of us. Odin wouldn't give Singh, Kaine, myself, Bonnie, or Savage a title shot. Odin doesn't want to work any harder then he has to. That's why his prize is NOT having to defend the title next month. Right up his alley. Odin's MO in wrestling is to do as little as possible and look as good as possible doing it.
Ymir: I KNOW THAT ALL TOO WELL!
Alex Richards: The real question is.. why is everyone else playing the patsy for him? Four people got involved in this war with the Guardians with absolutely no reward for themselves. They are fighting alongside the world champion for absolutely no reason. He offers them nothing. Now if Odin was truly the All-Father, the great God he claims to be you would think he would promise any survivors a title shot.
Ymir: YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT BEING USED... WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?
Alex Richards: Simple. An opportunity. We will win Helimination Bonnie Blue will win the world title from Odin then she will defend it against Noble Savage. After that.. why she'll need a new challenger. That's where I come in. Odin doesn't want to give me an opportunity. Bonnie will.
Ymir: SO A SELFISH MOTIVE THEN. I APPROVE.
Alex Richards: When you're a man whose parents had him institutionalized so he couldn't tell on the sick fuck who molested him you need to be selfish. To a point. Besides what leader is not willing to share the prize with her team mates? The Bonnie from the nightmare might not.. but the real one always will. That's why I'm willing to fight so hard in order to earn her that world title shot. Odin.. he's not a real leader. He's like a shady politician letting soldiers on the front lines fight his war for him so he doesn't have to get his own hands dirty. All the warriors with brains are on the Guardians side of the ring.. opposing Odin and a bunch of brain dead cannon fodder. Not much of a competition.
Ymir: YOU SAY YOU'RE THINKING.. PROVE IT. WHAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT?
Alex Richards: For starters everyone going into this match is targeting Odin. Except for me. My number one target is Gravedigger. I've been waiting.. a long time to finally get my hands on Gravedigger. Four long years I've been trying to get my hands on Gravedigger with no luck. That finally changes this week. War 2014. Before the match Gravedigger said I was nothing but a fat piece of shit. That I should feel proud he mentioned my name and that if our paths crossed I would be eliminated by the legendary Gravedigger. Fair enough.. if he could back up those words. But he didn't. He didn't even try. He came nowhere near me during that War match. He's come nowhere near me since. Before the match Gravedigger was so angry I would say he didn't care about winning War but when the match happened.. he ignored me. The insults weren't a slap in the face.. the fact he didn't even think I was worth the time to fight was.
Alex Richards: Last year we were on opposing sides in Helimination. I thought I would finally get my hands on him. I did. One stinking move. One clothesline to him then he tagged out. That wasn't enough! I had to get my hands on Digger again. I even went so far to stoop to join the fed he owned just for the chance to finally get a piece of him. My attempt failed. My hate for Gravedigger grew every week in Action. Every week The Guardians and I were held back by Action I had that much more hatred for Gravedigger.
YMIR: HATE IS GOOD.
Alex Richards: But then I realized something.. Gravedigger wasn't trying to hold me back. He legitimately has no regard for me and my skills. That's what brought him back to the WCF to compete on Team Odin. He saw how I was undefeated since my return to the WCF. He saw how Bonnie and I earned a tag title shot. He figured he could come back and add to his legacy by securing yet another victory. He thought wrong.
Back when I was a rookie Gravedigger dismissed me. But I am not the same man I was then. Neither is him. Our careers have gone in opposite directions. Gravedigger is a three time world champion. But he doesn't want to admit his last world title win was in 2010. It's been 8 years since he held a world title. I held a world title, the UCI world title, just last year. What was Gravedigger doing last year? Losing the People's Championship to William the Behemoth.
YMIR: HE'S NO GIANT!
Alex Richards: Not much of a wrestler either. Bonnie and I beat him, among others to earn the tag title shot. For years people have been saying Gravedigger is washed up. Only difference is, now it's true. I know I have eclipsed Gravedigger. But he's still stuck in the deep, deep past. At Helimination I will give him a reality check. I will prove to him that I'm better then he's ever been. You were embarrassed this year when Bishop finally upset you after all those chances. This won't be an upset. This will be destruction. You have no place in a WCF ring anymore. I know I won't officially retire you but you'll never step into a WCF ring again after what I do to you.
YMIR: LIKE I SAID.. I APPROVE OF BEING SELFISH.. ODIN HAD MY BODY DISMEMBERED AND SCATTERED! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE AND YOU GUARDIANS WILL HELP ME! OTHERWISE I HAVE PLENTY MORE NIGHTMARES IN STORE FOR YOU!
Alex Richards: You misunderstand. My focus is on Gravedigger because I have never gotten my hands on him before. I already got my hands on Odin and everything I said about him was proven right! Especially considering the fact Odin is a Norse God it's pathetic how lazy, uncaring, and hypocritical he is. He is so used to people rolling over for the so called great god that he doesn't know how to deal with failure. Odin is the reason I'm not quite so impressed with you. After meeting Odin I've been left to wonder how much lore about the Greek gods is all a bunch of bullshit.
YMIR: I AM NOT LIKE ODIN! I WAS THE ORIGINAL ALL POWERFUL GOD UNTIL HE STOLE THAT FROM ME! AND HE COULDN'T EVEN DO IT ON HIS OWN!
Alex Richards: That I believe. See, last month I fought Odin Balfore. A man most people think is going to be a hall of famer, the current world champion. He lasted mere seconds against me. Literally seconds. But that's not why I'm so under whelmed with him. Since that match he hadn't so much as mentioned me all month long. Everyone loses, but it takes a special kind of hypocrite to go around flaunting themselves as the best the wrestling world has to offer while ignoring the man who easily defeated them. If Odin was the great God he claimed to be you would think he would challenge me. You would think he would want redemption.
YMIR: I WOULD! I DO WANT REVENGE ON ODIN!
Alex Richards: But no.. radio silence from Balfore. I think Odin doesn't truly want a fight. He merely wants the glory of an easy victory. Odin is lazy. He's grown weak from centuries of people rolling over and giving up at the thought of an ancient war god coming to battle against them. I didn't do that. I showed him no respect and I defeated him. He doesn't want any part of me. I know that.. everyone knows that. Odin does whatever is easiest for Odin.. so avoiding me was easiest.
Alex smiles.
Alex Richards: Too bad he's not going to be able to that at Helimination. The fact that Odin never faced me again let me know I was right about what kind of a god he truly is. Then he somehow sunk lower in my estimation when he chose Gravedigger to compete on his team. That showed how desperate he truly was. How desperate he is to hang on to his fading glory. Two months ago Odin talked how he, yes Odin himself, was going to restore the WCF to it's past glory. Even taking credit for getting us a new television deal. So if Odin is so on board with the WCF revival.. why on earth would he bring in the owner of action wrestling to compete on his side? The answer is obvious. Odin doesn't care about the WCF, Odin doesn't care about his partners, Odin cares only about Odin. He's survived millions of years by weaselling his way out of real challenges. By fighting mere mortals and claiming winning most of the time are glorious victories.
YMIR: I WOULD HAVE WON ALL THE TIME AGAINST MORTALS!
Alex Richards: He's a god fighting men and yet I not only defeated him.. I did it with ease. Odin does not want to fight me because Odin fears me. He fears what I am capable of. I spent the entire month challenging Odin, attacking Odin and he merely rolled over and showed me his belly like a dog would. He hoped he would never have to answer my challenges. Well Odin is going to pay the price for ignoring me on Halloween.
Alex Richards: I'm not the only one who thinks that. Look at the people on Odin's team. We have the owner of a rival company who's here to try and recapture his own faded glory. No wonder he's teaming with Odin.. they have so much in common.
YMIR: ODIN DID RECAPTURE HIS FADED GLORY. HE REGAINED THE WORLD TITLE.
Alex Richards: Well Helimination is the next step on his downfall I assure you of that. Bonnie beat Odin leading up to the showdown preventing him from even having the glory of competing in the ultimate showdown. He had to settle for winning the "B" Showdown. Then I defeated him quicker then he had ever been defeated before in a singles match. Even though he defended the title at War against Bonnie I denied him some of that glory. Now once his team goes down in defeat against The Guardians at Helimination his demise will almost be complete. Bonnie set all of this in motion when she beat Odin.. I kept things rolling when I beat Odin. It's going to come full circle when Bonnie takes his title at Revenge. But me and the rest of the Guardians team.. we get the honour of knowing that we set this in motion when we destroy Odin's team at Helloween. Bonnie gets the title.. but we all get the glory.
Alex Richards: But like I was saying.. look at Odin's team. We have Kaz Mazy who's only there because he's a close friend of Odin's. We have James Wolf and Sammy Not Dune. They are only there because no one else would have them on their teams. Now there's a real murderer's row isn't there?
YMIR: IT DOESN'T SOUND THAT STRONG TO ME!
Alex Richards: Ancient Gods aren't much for sarcasm, huh? Kaz Mazy is the only one who I don't blame for choosing to be on Odin's team. I don't know why Kaz would want to be friends with Odin but I understand loyalty to your friends. However is he really a good choice for Odin? Kaz is remembered in the WCF for one brief period of success. When you teamed up with Bobby Cairo as a member of the Poondock Saints. The immortal hall of famer Bobby Cairo. Is there any doubt that Bobby Cairo carried you to that level of success? None at all. Look at the facts Bobby Cairo won the world title. Because of that the Poondock Saints were considered a force. When Bobby left the WCF so did your credibility. You were merely a hanger-on Kaz. That's why you slowly waved out as people forgot about you. Because you were never truly special. Then you went to the UCI and resumed your pattern. This time leeching off of Z Mac. Once again you captured the tag team championships.
Alex Richards: That's when you encountered the Guardians wasn't it? You faced Bonnie and I in what could have been the biggest night of your wrestling career. First Z Mac and yourself defended the tag team championships against The Guardians, then the two of you faced Kevin Bishop in a triple threat match for the world title. The evening served to show the heart and determination of one man. But it wasn't you now was it? No, during that tag team match Bonnie broke Zombie's arm as we went on to win the tag team championships. But even with a broken arm Zombie wasn't the one who got pinned was he? No, he fought through the pain.. but you couldn't. You quit on him and as a result the Guardians got the UCI tag team titles we would never lose. And as for that world title match.. Z Mac won the world title with a fucking broken arm.
Alex Richards: Odin fucked up. He should have gotten Z Mac instead of the pussy who walked away from wrestling after that defeat. That's what I remember you for Kaz. When the chips were down, you fucking walked away and quit. That's why I'm not so worried about Kaz in the Helimination. Because when things get intense I can count on Kaz to tap out and admit defeat. Yet again.
YMIR: TAKING OUT A FRIEND OF ODINS BEFORE TAKING OUT ODIN WOULD PLEASE ME. SO YOU THINK KAZ IS THE WEAK LINK?
Alex Richards: Not even close! This is why our victory is assured. The Guardians team has 5 talented accomplished wrestlers. Steven, Bonnie, and myself have all held at least some version of the world title. Noble Savage won WAR for god's sake. Damian Kaine is one of the most talented prospects in wrestling. The other side? Two former world champions. Then it drops off fast. Kaz at least had two United States title reigns. The other two have accomplished.. basically absolutely nothing.
Alex Richards: Samuel McPherson.. first off Sammy.. stop bullshitting us. We all know that you can talk. You just chose not to because you sound like Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit!
Alex Richards: Really Lord Raab is the one who should be in this match. Because he literally does all the thinking for that team and Sam just nods long like he's got no mind of his own. People claim I follow Bonnie around like a little lost puppy. Well when it comes to the Monstimals.. that's actually true. So basically there's this guy in the match who literally has one skill. He's big. Odin should have went and sprang for the real Dune instead of this multiplicity level copy of a copy of a copy version of Dune. Because while Sammy looks like Dune he sure as shit don't fight like Dune.
Alex Richards: Apparently he's got an issue with us disgracing the tag team championships for some reason. Like everything else about him.. he's totally wrong. Sam and Raab aren't even the real tag team champions. They became champions because they stole the belt from Eccentrix.. the rightful tag team partner of Sammy. They won the belts as a team paired up in the Alt Showdown and then Sammy threw a tantrum and refused to work with Eccentrix. Yep.. Odin fucked up. Sammy is not a team player. Individually all of the Guardians team may not get along. But we came together because we know.. the enemy of our enemy is our friend. Sammy... he joined Odin's team... because reasons? He couldn't get along with a random partner for the sake of being tag team champions. How on earth is he going to get along with four more random partners?
Alex waits for an answer. But gods answer no one if they don't want to so Alex continues.
Alex Richards: He's not. So a marginally talented, and I'm being real generous with that assessment, big man who can't get along with anyone except for the one man who uses him as a puppet is a member of Odin's helimination team. Yeah.. that's gonna go real well for him.
YMIR: I GOT THE SARCASM THIS TIME MORTAL!
Alex Richards: Good for you.
YMIR: DON'T MOCK THE GODS ALEX!
Alex Richards: I've been mocking Odin all day.
YMIR: I'M FINE WITH THAT!
Alex Richards: Then we come to the weakest link of them all. A man so dumb he wishes he had someone to do his thinking for him because that would actually be an improvement! Last month James Wolf finally did something impressive. After loss after loss after loss he proved that even a broken clock is right twice a day. He finished fourth in WAR. To be fair that was legitimately impressive. Even better then my 5th place finish. James should enjoy that small victory. Because that's the only time in his entire life he's ever going to get one over on me. Since that match James has choked harder then he does on his sister's cock. That's right.. I don't just make incest jokes I make chicks with dicks incest jokes too!
Alex Richards: But seriously the whole choking thing is no joke. Since WAR James managed to squash any feelings of goodwill his performance gave him. He hasn't won a single match since! Every single week he got his ass kicked. Kurt Narravo, Teo Blaze- the man eliminated by Ultimate Destroyer at WAR sure did destroy you, Night Rider hadn't won a match in over a month until he met you. But none of this stuff matters to fucking James Wolf because he doesn't fucking live in reality. He says he doesn't care about anything except the world title but yet he hasn't gotten it through his thick skull that if you lose every single fucking match you'll never get a world title shot!
Alex Richards: The sad thing is, he probably actually believes not only will Odin's team win Helimination but that he will single handedly lead them to victory. I'm done. I'm just done. You can't reason with that level of delusion! This idiot actually signed on to fight the hardcore champion, the real Wolf, in an electrified cage match before Helimination! Who could possibly be that stupid? Does he possibly believe that he's going to be any shape to compete after that match? He may not even make it to Helimination. Because DW Wolf is going to fry his ass. But if he does I doubt I'll even have to worry about him because the first man who lays their hands on him is going to beat him. This match comes down to 5 superstars against two faded former legends, a mediocre quitter, and two never weres. One of whom is stupid enough to get into the match pre bbqed. Who do you think this match is going to go?
YMIR: I CREATED THIS NIGHTMARE TO SEE IF YOU WERE WORTHY OF MY HELP. SO ARE YOU?
Alex Richards: What makes you think I need your help? I have the Guardians on my side. I don't need anything else! We are going to beat Odin because it's time. People have been waiting for Odin to fall for years. My first year in wrestling I was randomly teamed with Oblivion after the Ultimate Showdown as the tag team champions. We had no prior history yet at the end of the year we emerged in a tie with Bobby Cairo and Odin Balfore as tag team of the year during the annual awards. You know what that proves? Even then people wanted change. People were sick of Odin's reign. This time I don't tie Odin, I eclipse him.
YMIR: THAT ARROGANCE.. THAT'S THE KIND OF ARROGANCE OF A NORSE GOD. THAT'S THE KIND OF ARROGANCE THAT WILL ENABLE YOU TO BEAT ODIN. THAT'S THE KIND OF ARROGANCE THAT IS WORTHY OF MY HELP. GIVE ME YOUR HAND.
Alex decides to trust the old diseased god and holds out his hand. Ymir grips it and instantly Alex's face is a mask of pain.
YMIR: YOU'RE THE GIANT OF THE GUARDIANS TEAM AREN'T YOU? ODIN IS SO PROUD OF ELIMINATING ALL THE ICE GIANTS. SO I GIFT YOU WITH THE TOUCH OF FROST. I'LL MAKE ICE GIANTS FOR THE NEW MELINUIM. WHEN THE GUARDIANS FINALLY VANGUISH ODIN WHEN YOUR COLD HANDS CHOKE THE LIFE FROM HIM I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE!
Alex.. Alex..
Rebecca Thatch looks over at her boyfriend Alex with concern. He rolls towards her groggily.
Rebecca Thatch: You were talking in your sleep. Are you alright.
Alex smiles and kisses Rebecca on her forehead.
Alex Richards: I can honestly say I've never been better Becky.
He kisses her again then rolls over and returns to sleep.
The harsh, whiskey roughened voice of Alex Richards screams out and instantly the bar top at the Drunken Dragon is covered in boots upon boots filled with Zim-Quila. The members of the Guardians team at Helimination each pick up a boot... each down it.. then do so again.. and again. The alcohol starts to take effective. Damian Kaine drinks down a boot.
Damian Kaine: You know.. I have to admit.. I really regret sending Zombie McMorris to Hell. That was kinda a dick move wasn't it?
That doesn't really sound like Damian Kaine does it? Meanwhile Steven Singh slams a boot and talks shit.
Steven Singh: C'mon you pussies! I'm gonna drink all of you into a coma then piss on your comatose bodies!
Alex Richards: Coma? You mean like Jayson Price?
Steven Singh: Exactly fucking it!
But Steven Singh doesn't drink. This is getting weird.
Noble Savage: I'm going to fucking savagely drink of all you under the table then nobly hold your fucking hair while you puke. Except for you Alex.
Alex Richards: Damn right you ain't.
Noble Savage: Only because you don't have any hair shithead.
But Noble Savage doesn't curse.
Bonnie Blue: Urg.. you guys aren't going to out drink me I promise ya'll that. I need to drink in order to forget Wade Moor. What a mistake he was.
Bonnie definitely wouldn't say that. This is very obviously a dream. This fact becomes more obvious as all the Guardians save for Alex suddenly fade out leaving the Archduke looking pissed.
Alex Richards: The fuck? This is not usually how my drinking dreams end. Now the one that ended with all of us getting arrested for drinking on a water slide. I was cool with that. The one that ended with getting banned from Atlantis for flying that sea plane into it.. that was cool too but.. what gives.
A massive furred, horned goliath walks into the bar. Alex grins.
Alex Richards: Yeah.. I gotta admit. Even in a dream I was gonna out drink those guys. Apparently my mind figured I needed more of a challenge.
The hulking deity snarls.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
Alex Richards: Should I?
I AM... YMIR!
He looks self satisfied. Alex looks disgusted.
Alex Richards: I should have known from your better then anyone else attitude. You're one of Odin's friends aren't you?
Ymir: I AM NO FRIEND OF THAT TRAITOR ODIN! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM! I CREATED THE FUCKING EARTH!
Alex Richards: So you're mad because Odin beat you?
Ymir: NO! ODIN DIDN'T BEAT ME! IF ODIN WERE GOD ENOUGH TO DESTROY ME I WOULD BE ABLE TO ACCEPT THAT! BUT HE CHEATED! HE RECIEVED HELP FROM HIS BROTHERS VE, AND VILLI IN ORDER TO SLAY ME!
Alex Richards: Yeah... that makes sense. Odin does always take the easiest.
Ymir: SILENCE MORTAL! YOU DARE INTERUPT A GOD?
Alex Richards: Yeah.. I dare. For three reasons. One, I already beat a god in Odin a few weeks ago. Two, this is my dream. And three.. Odin slayed you so you're already dead.
Ymir laughs.. as befitting a 40 foot giant god is it a booming laugh.
YMIR: DO YOU KNOW WHY I'M HERE? I'M HERE TO AID YOU IN YOUR BATTLE AGAINST ODIN AND ALL OF THOSE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO AID HIM. IF.. AND ONLY IF YOU PROVE YOURSELF WORTHY OF MY GIFTS AND MY TIME!
Alex suddenly hunches over as a spider walks across the bar top in the drunken dragon. He reaches out.. snatches it and eats it as the ancient God laughs.
YMIR: YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT, RIGHT? WELL YOU ARE NO LONGER IN CONTROL OF YOUR ACTIONS RICHARDS. BUT WHO IS?
Alex watches with an open faced, drooling grin as a bat flies into the room. It glides around the dragon for several minutes before revealing it's true form. A caped, and fanged version of Bonnie Blue.
Alex Richards: My mistress! Your will is my duty.
Bonnie Blue: Of course it is. I need you to burn down a school. In an alternative time line one of the students is a more powerful time traveller then I am.
Alex Richards: That cannot be mistress!
Bonnie Blue: It won't be stupid.. if you kill her and kill all of her line in every reality.
Alex Richards: I will do as you wish mistress.
YMIR: NO.. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. THE GUARDIANS HAVE KILLED BEFORE.. I NEED TO MAKE THIS MORE PERSONAL.
Shaun Zach Richards and Rebecca Thatch appear.
Bonnie Blue: I am hungry. And I am sick of them taking up your time. Your only purpose is to serve me Alex.
Alex Richards: My only purpose.
Bonnie Blue: I am hungry. Feed me Shaun.
SZR: Wait.. Alex. I'm your brother. I've always been there for you.. We're been together since the moment you entered wrestling.
Alex doesn't so much as look at Shaun. He grabs him by the throat, lifts the smaller man off the ground and plants him on a table hard, then holds him down.
Alex Richards: Enjoy your meal.. mistress.
Bonnie Blue: I always do. Perhaps someday I'll make you a vampire as well.
Alex Richards: Really?
Bonnie Blue: I could use someone to serve me forever. Besides even as a vampire you will always be less then me.
Bonnie feeds, Shaun screams, blood spurts on the table. Alex watches with no expression on his face as his brother fights for his life. His attempts at fighting back are futile against the time travelling vampire. He quickly fades as Bonnie drinks deeper. She turns to |Alex, his brother's blood still on her face.
Bonnie Blue: Now I need to you kill Rebecca.
Alex Richards: Yes mistress.
Rebecca turns to Alex, tears in her eyes.
Rebecca Thatch: This isn't you Alex.. I love you. You love me. You don't have to do this.
Alex Richards: I want to do this. I want to make my mistress happy.
Alex advances on Rebecca.
Bonnie Blue: Alex stop.
He does.
Bonnie Blue: Do it slowly.. with this. I want her to suffer.
Bonnie hands Alex a broken beer bottle.
Bonnie Blue: Why don't you gouge out her eyes?
Rebecca Thatch: I trust that you aren't going to hurt me.
Her trust was misplaced. Alex would stab out first her right eye.. then her left. Before slashing her throat with what was left of the broken beer bottle. Bonnie laughs.
Bonnie Blue: I wasn't really hungry. They didn't need to die at all. I just wanted to use how loyal to me you were.
Alex Richards: Did I please my mistress?
Bonnie Blue: My control over you is total. I am very pleased.
The nightmare breaks.. the dead bodies of Alex's loved ones disappear leaving only the ancient barbarian giant god and Alex. A paler looking Alex then usual.
Ymir: I KNEW YOU WERE AFRAID! THIS IS WHY YOU NEED MY HELP. YOU MERE MORTALS REEK OF FEAR.. OF WEAKNESS.
Alex Richards: It's true. I am afraid of being controlled.. of being forced to do evil things against my will. But that is not weakness. Weakness would be allowing it to happen. I control what I fear.. it doesn't control me. Some people think that I don't think for myself. Those people are fools. All month long I've been challenging Odin. Damian and I attacked Odin. I did that of my own free will! I did it because I wanted to. I knew there was risk of payback from Odin. I didn't care. Bonnie didn't make that choice for me. I made that choice! I have never been a leader of men. I have always been a member of a group but never the leader. But the fact I'm smart enough to know I'm not a leader does not mean I'm merely a blind follower.
Alex Richards: You want blind followers? Look at Odin's team in Helimination. All of them are in this match... why? Odin promised them nothing. They are all being used by him and none of them so much as question it. When The Guardians win Bonnie will receive a world title shot. So why did 4 other people team up in order to help one person benefit? Because we all know a victory for Bonnie over that false God Odin is a victory for all of us. Odin wouldn't give Singh, Kaine, myself, Bonnie, or Savage a title shot. Odin doesn't want to work any harder then he has to. That's why his prize is NOT having to defend the title next month. Right up his alley. Odin's MO in wrestling is to do as little as possible and look as good as possible doing it.
Ymir: I KNOW THAT ALL TOO WELL!
Alex Richards: The real question is.. why is everyone else playing the patsy for him? Four people got involved in this war with the Guardians with absolutely no reward for themselves. They are fighting alongside the world champion for absolutely no reason. He offers them nothing. Now if Odin was truly the All-Father, the great God he claims to be you would think he would promise any survivors a title shot.
Ymir: YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT BEING USED... WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU?
Alex Richards: Simple. An opportunity. We will win Helimination Bonnie Blue will win the world title from Odin then she will defend it against Noble Savage. After that.. why she'll need a new challenger. That's where I come in. Odin doesn't want to give me an opportunity. Bonnie will.
Ymir: SO A SELFISH MOTIVE THEN. I APPROVE.
Alex Richards: When you're a man whose parents had him institutionalized so he couldn't tell on the sick fuck who molested him you need to be selfish. To a point. Besides what leader is not willing to share the prize with her team mates? The Bonnie from the nightmare might not.. but the real one always will. That's why I'm willing to fight so hard in order to earn her that world title shot. Odin.. he's not a real leader. He's like a shady politician letting soldiers on the front lines fight his war for him so he doesn't have to get his own hands dirty. All the warriors with brains are on the Guardians side of the ring.. opposing Odin and a bunch of brain dead cannon fodder. Not much of a competition.
Ymir: YOU SAY YOU'RE THINKING.. PROVE IT. WHAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT?
Alex Richards: For starters everyone going into this match is targeting Odin. Except for me. My number one target is Gravedigger. I've been waiting.. a long time to finally get my hands on Gravedigger. Four long years I've been trying to get my hands on Gravedigger with no luck. That finally changes this week. War 2014. Before the match Gravedigger said I was nothing but a fat piece of shit. That I should feel proud he mentioned my name and that if our paths crossed I would be eliminated by the legendary Gravedigger. Fair enough.. if he could back up those words. But he didn't. He didn't even try. He came nowhere near me during that War match. He's come nowhere near me since. Before the match Gravedigger was so angry I would say he didn't care about winning War but when the match happened.. he ignored me. The insults weren't a slap in the face.. the fact he didn't even think I was worth the time to fight was.
Alex Richards: Last year we were on opposing sides in Helimination. I thought I would finally get my hands on him. I did. One stinking move. One clothesline to him then he tagged out. That wasn't enough! I had to get my hands on Digger again. I even went so far to stoop to join the fed he owned just for the chance to finally get a piece of him. My attempt failed. My hate for Gravedigger grew every week in Action. Every week The Guardians and I were held back by Action I had that much more hatred for Gravedigger.
YMIR: HATE IS GOOD.
Alex Richards: But then I realized something.. Gravedigger wasn't trying to hold me back. He legitimately has no regard for me and my skills. That's what brought him back to the WCF to compete on Team Odin. He saw how I was undefeated since my return to the WCF. He saw how Bonnie and I earned a tag title shot. He figured he could come back and add to his legacy by securing yet another victory. He thought wrong.
Back when I was a rookie Gravedigger dismissed me. But I am not the same man I was then. Neither is him. Our careers have gone in opposite directions. Gravedigger is a three time world champion. But he doesn't want to admit his last world title win was in 2010. It's been 8 years since he held a world title. I held a world title, the UCI world title, just last year. What was Gravedigger doing last year? Losing the People's Championship to William the Behemoth.
YMIR: HE'S NO GIANT!
Alex Richards: Not much of a wrestler either. Bonnie and I beat him, among others to earn the tag title shot. For years people have been saying Gravedigger is washed up. Only difference is, now it's true. I know I have eclipsed Gravedigger. But he's still stuck in the deep, deep past. At Helimination I will give him a reality check. I will prove to him that I'm better then he's ever been. You were embarrassed this year when Bishop finally upset you after all those chances. This won't be an upset. This will be destruction. You have no place in a WCF ring anymore. I know I won't officially retire you but you'll never step into a WCF ring again after what I do to you.
YMIR: LIKE I SAID.. I APPROVE OF BEING SELFISH.. ODIN HAD MY BODY DISMEMBERED AND SCATTERED! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE AND YOU GUARDIANS WILL HELP ME! OTHERWISE I HAVE PLENTY MORE NIGHTMARES IN STORE FOR YOU!
Alex Richards: You misunderstand. My focus is on Gravedigger because I have never gotten my hands on him before. I already got my hands on Odin and everything I said about him was proven right! Especially considering the fact Odin is a Norse God it's pathetic how lazy, uncaring, and hypocritical he is. He is so used to people rolling over for the so called great god that he doesn't know how to deal with failure. Odin is the reason I'm not quite so impressed with you. After meeting Odin I've been left to wonder how much lore about the Greek gods is all a bunch of bullshit.
YMIR: I AM NOT LIKE ODIN! I WAS THE ORIGINAL ALL POWERFUL GOD UNTIL HE STOLE THAT FROM ME! AND HE COULDN'T EVEN DO IT ON HIS OWN!
Alex Richards: That I believe. See, last month I fought Odin Balfore. A man most people think is going to be a hall of famer, the current world champion. He lasted mere seconds against me. Literally seconds. But that's not why I'm so under whelmed with him. Since that match he hadn't so much as mentioned me all month long. Everyone loses, but it takes a special kind of hypocrite to go around flaunting themselves as the best the wrestling world has to offer while ignoring the man who easily defeated them. If Odin was the great God he claimed to be you would think he would challenge me. You would think he would want redemption.
YMIR: I WOULD! I DO WANT REVENGE ON ODIN!
Alex Richards: But no.. radio silence from Balfore. I think Odin doesn't truly want a fight. He merely wants the glory of an easy victory. Odin is lazy. He's grown weak from centuries of people rolling over and giving up at the thought of an ancient war god coming to battle against them. I didn't do that. I showed him no respect and I defeated him. He doesn't want any part of me. I know that.. everyone knows that. Odin does whatever is easiest for Odin.. so avoiding me was easiest.
Alex smiles.
Alex Richards: Too bad he's not going to be able to that at Helimination. The fact that Odin never faced me again let me know I was right about what kind of a god he truly is. Then he somehow sunk lower in my estimation when he chose Gravedigger to compete on his team. That showed how desperate he truly was. How desperate he is to hang on to his fading glory. Two months ago Odin talked how he, yes Odin himself, was going to restore the WCF to it's past glory. Even taking credit for getting us a new television deal. So if Odin is so on board with the WCF revival.. why on earth would he bring in the owner of action wrestling to compete on his side? The answer is obvious. Odin doesn't care about the WCF, Odin doesn't care about his partners, Odin cares only about Odin. He's survived millions of years by weaselling his way out of real challenges. By fighting mere mortals and claiming winning most of the time are glorious victories.
YMIR: I WOULD HAVE WON ALL THE TIME AGAINST MORTALS!
Alex Richards: He's a god fighting men and yet I not only defeated him.. I did it with ease. Odin does not want to fight me because Odin fears me. He fears what I am capable of. I spent the entire month challenging Odin, attacking Odin and he merely rolled over and showed me his belly like a dog would. He hoped he would never have to answer my challenges. Well Odin is going to pay the price for ignoring me on Halloween.
Alex Richards: I'm not the only one who thinks that. Look at the people on Odin's team. We have the owner of a rival company who's here to try and recapture his own faded glory. No wonder he's teaming with Odin.. they have so much in common.
YMIR: ODIN DID RECAPTURE HIS FADED GLORY. HE REGAINED THE WORLD TITLE.
Alex Richards: Well Helimination is the next step on his downfall I assure you of that. Bonnie beat Odin leading up to the showdown preventing him from even having the glory of competing in the ultimate showdown. He had to settle for winning the "B" Showdown. Then I defeated him quicker then he had ever been defeated before in a singles match. Even though he defended the title at War against Bonnie I denied him some of that glory. Now once his team goes down in defeat against The Guardians at Helimination his demise will almost be complete. Bonnie set all of this in motion when she beat Odin.. I kept things rolling when I beat Odin. It's going to come full circle when Bonnie takes his title at Revenge. But me and the rest of the Guardians team.. we get the honour of knowing that we set this in motion when we destroy Odin's team at Helloween. Bonnie gets the title.. but we all get the glory.
Alex Richards: But like I was saying.. look at Odin's team. We have Kaz Mazy who's only there because he's a close friend of Odin's. We have James Wolf and Sammy Not Dune. They are only there because no one else would have them on their teams. Now there's a real murderer's row isn't there?
YMIR: IT DOESN'T SOUND THAT STRONG TO ME!
Alex Richards: Ancient Gods aren't much for sarcasm, huh? Kaz Mazy is the only one who I don't blame for choosing to be on Odin's team. I don't know why Kaz would want to be friends with Odin but I understand loyalty to your friends. However is he really a good choice for Odin? Kaz is remembered in the WCF for one brief period of success. When you teamed up with Bobby Cairo as a member of the Poondock Saints. The immortal hall of famer Bobby Cairo. Is there any doubt that Bobby Cairo carried you to that level of success? None at all. Look at the facts Bobby Cairo won the world title. Because of that the Poondock Saints were considered a force. When Bobby left the WCF so did your credibility. You were merely a hanger-on Kaz. That's why you slowly waved out as people forgot about you. Because you were never truly special. Then you went to the UCI and resumed your pattern. This time leeching off of Z Mac. Once again you captured the tag team championships.
Alex Richards: That's when you encountered the Guardians wasn't it? You faced Bonnie and I in what could have been the biggest night of your wrestling career. First Z Mac and yourself defended the tag team championships against The Guardians, then the two of you faced Kevin Bishop in a triple threat match for the world title. The evening served to show the heart and determination of one man. But it wasn't you now was it? No, during that tag team match Bonnie broke Zombie's arm as we went on to win the tag team championships. But even with a broken arm Zombie wasn't the one who got pinned was he? No, he fought through the pain.. but you couldn't. You quit on him and as a result the Guardians got the UCI tag team titles we would never lose. And as for that world title match.. Z Mac won the world title with a fucking broken arm.
Alex Richards: Odin fucked up. He should have gotten Z Mac instead of the pussy who walked away from wrestling after that defeat. That's what I remember you for Kaz. When the chips were down, you fucking walked away and quit. That's why I'm not so worried about Kaz in the Helimination. Because when things get intense I can count on Kaz to tap out and admit defeat. Yet again.
YMIR: TAKING OUT A FRIEND OF ODINS BEFORE TAKING OUT ODIN WOULD PLEASE ME. SO YOU THINK KAZ IS THE WEAK LINK?
Alex Richards: Not even close! This is why our victory is assured. The Guardians team has 5 talented accomplished wrestlers. Steven, Bonnie, and myself have all held at least some version of the world title. Noble Savage won WAR for god's sake. Damian Kaine is one of the most talented prospects in wrestling. The other side? Two former world champions. Then it drops off fast. Kaz at least had two United States title reigns. The other two have accomplished.. basically absolutely nothing.
Alex Richards: Samuel McPherson.. first off Sammy.. stop bullshitting us. We all know that you can talk. You just chose not to because you sound like Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit!
Alex Richards: Really Lord Raab is the one who should be in this match. Because he literally does all the thinking for that team and Sam just nods long like he's got no mind of his own. People claim I follow Bonnie around like a little lost puppy. Well when it comes to the Monstimals.. that's actually true. So basically there's this guy in the match who literally has one skill. He's big. Odin should have went and sprang for the real Dune instead of this multiplicity level copy of a copy of a copy version of Dune. Because while Sammy looks like Dune he sure as shit don't fight like Dune.
Alex Richards: Apparently he's got an issue with us disgracing the tag team championships for some reason. Like everything else about him.. he's totally wrong. Sam and Raab aren't even the real tag team champions. They became champions because they stole the belt from Eccentrix.. the rightful tag team partner of Sammy. They won the belts as a team paired up in the Alt Showdown and then Sammy threw a tantrum and refused to work with Eccentrix. Yep.. Odin fucked up. Sammy is not a team player. Individually all of the Guardians team may not get along. But we came together because we know.. the enemy of our enemy is our friend. Sammy... he joined Odin's team... because reasons? He couldn't get along with a random partner for the sake of being tag team champions. How on earth is he going to get along with four more random partners?
Alex waits for an answer. But gods answer no one if they don't want to so Alex continues.
Alex Richards: He's not. So a marginally talented, and I'm being real generous with that assessment, big man who can't get along with anyone except for the one man who uses him as a puppet is a member of Odin's helimination team. Yeah.. that's gonna go real well for him.
YMIR: I GOT THE SARCASM THIS TIME MORTAL!
Alex Richards: Good for you.
YMIR: DON'T MOCK THE GODS ALEX!
Alex Richards: I've been mocking Odin all day.
YMIR: I'M FINE WITH THAT!
Alex Richards: Then we come to the weakest link of them all. A man so dumb he wishes he had someone to do his thinking for him because that would actually be an improvement! Last month James Wolf finally did something impressive. After loss after loss after loss he proved that even a broken clock is right twice a day. He finished fourth in WAR. To be fair that was legitimately impressive. Even better then my 5th place finish. James should enjoy that small victory. Because that's the only time in his entire life he's ever going to get one over on me. Since that match James has choked harder then he does on his sister's cock. That's right.. I don't just make incest jokes I make chicks with dicks incest jokes too!
Alex Richards: But seriously the whole choking thing is no joke. Since WAR James managed to squash any feelings of goodwill his performance gave him. He hasn't won a single match since! Every single week he got his ass kicked. Kurt Narravo, Teo Blaze- the man eliminated by Ultimate Destroyer at WAR sure did destroy you, Night Rider hadn't won a match in over a month until he met you. But none of this stuff matters to fucking James Wolf because he doesn't fucking live in reality. He says he doesn't care about anything except the world title but yet he hasn't gotten it through his thick skull that if you lose every single fucking match you'll never get a world title shot!
Alex Richards: The sad thing is, he probably actually believes not only will Odin's team win Helimination but that he will single handedly lead them to victory. I'm done. I'm just done. You can't reason with that level of delusion! This idiot actually signed on to fight the hardcore champion, the real Wolf, in an electrified cage match before Helimination! Who could possibly be that stupid? Does he possibly believe that he's going to be any shape to compete after that match? He may not even make it to Helimination. Because DW Wolf is going to fry his ass. But if he does I doubt I'll even have to worry about him because the first man who lays their hands on him is going to beat him. This match comes down to 5 superstars against two faded former legends, a mediocre quitter, and two never weres. One of whom is stupid enough to get into the match pre bbqed. Who do you think this match is going to go?
YMIR: I CREATED THIS NIGHTMARE TO SEE IF YOU WERE WORTHY OF MY HELP. SO ARE YOU?
Alex Richards: What makes you think I need your help? I have the Guardians on my side. I don't need anything else! We are going to beat Odin because it's time. People have been waiting for Odin to fall for years. My first year in wrestling I was randomly teamed with Oblivion after the Ultimate Showdown as the tag team champions. We had no prior history yet at the end of the year we emerged in a tie with Bobby Cairo and Odin Balfore as tag team of the year during the annual awards. You know what that proves? Even then people wanted change. People were sick of Odin's reign. This time I don't tie Odin, I eclipse him.
YMIR: THAT ARROGANCE.. THAT'S THE KIND OF ARROGANCE OF A NORSE GOD. THAT'S THE KIND OF ARROGANCE THAT WILL ENABLE YOU TO BEAT ODIN. THAT'S THE KIND OF ARROGANCE THAT IS WORTHY OF MY HELP. GIVE ME YOUR HAND.
Alex decides to trust the old diseased god and holds out his hand. Ymir grips it and instantly Alex's face is a mask of pain.
YMIR: YOU'RE THE GIANT OF THE GUARDIANS TEAM AREN'T YOU? ODIN IS SO PROUD OF ELIMINATING ALL THE ICE GIANTS. SO I GIFT YOU WITH THE TOUCH OF FROST. I'LL MAKE ICE GIANTS FOR THE NEW MELINUIM. WHEN THE GUARDIANS FINALLY VANGUISH ODIN WHEN YOUR COLD HANDS CHOKE THE LIFE FROM HIM I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE!
Alex.. Alex..
Rebecca Thatch looks over at her boyfriend Alex with concern. He rolls towards her groggily.
Rebecca Thatch: You were talking in your sleep. Are you alright.
Alex smiles and kisses Rebecca on her forehead.
Alex Richards: I can honestly say I've never been better Becky.
He kisses her again then rolls over and returns to sleep.
