Swallow your Pride ( and other things )

[Odin Balfore]

Hellimination

Team Odin 

Vs. 

Team Bonnie 

Swallow your Pride ( and other things )

____________________________

Prologue 

When I have to fight not one but two former challengers to my dominion and a third who has yet too but is eager - I cannot think of a more appropriate term than ‘stacking the deck.’ Bonnie Blue wants to stack the deck, she needs too. She has to do everything near close to cheating to ensure that she beats me at Hellimination just to get another taste at Payback. She brings her buddies, the Guardians, she brings Singh and she brings Noble Savage, who could have been my prorogue but stolen away from me by Bonnie Blue; that thieving time witch. I do not take this personally, however, I take it as a compliment. WCF has shown that it will pounce upon my warm hearted nature with stabs in the back. This does not pain me, it fuels me. You could allowed the All Father to become complacent and rest upon all that I have done but alas, you have not. Remember, you all wanted this to happen. You all asked for this to happen. Which one of you in that ring is going to ‘rescue’ WCF from my greatness; who steps up between now and ONE to even beyond to challenge me, confront me and take from me all that I have built. 

BAH! 

I told ya’ll that if you keep messin around you gone get more than you bargained for. Now lay back and accept whats coming to you. 

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Chapter I: Mighty Wings

Climb aboard a convoy of black, nondescript helicopters, flying over the Poon-cific ocean, through the Bay of Hercules, on the south western coast of Poonguinea. President Donald Trump sits with his back against the rear of the helicopter, forearms resting on his knees as his face switches from that grumpy frown to a small child like smile. VP Pence is in another separate helicopter but Odin Balfore is sitting across from the President. Both are wearing red ‘ Make America THICK Again’ baseball caps. 

Odin Balfore: Don’t Worry Trump, the Thousand Thick-ni Army is patrolling the harbor and the sky. 

Donald Trump: Its that theres alot of water down there. Alot of water. 

Odin Balfore: Poonguinea is home to more ocean water than any other country in the world. 

Donald Trump: That's good. I like that. Its a shame that me and you havent had that much of a working relationship in the past but that's OK. that's OK, we’re here now and it’ll be great.

Odin Balfore: Great? It’ll be the best. The greatest that the worlds ever seen The Trans Poo-Pacific Partnership will be great for America, you’ll get all of our best deals. Trade, imports, exports, military. 

Donald Trump: What about military; America has the greatest military in the world. What could you offer us?

Odin Balfore: Bah, who do you think funds your blacklist projects? 

A red dot appears on Trumps face from a sniper scope, Odin grabs him and they crash through the helicopter door as the pilot gets his dome rocked clean off his shoulders and ends up in the back seat where trump was sitting. Odin backpacks trump as trump clasps his tiny hands together around Odins neck. Odin pushes a button on his watch as a fighter jet swoops in and the two land on the body of the jet. The cockpit opens and the two men slip inside. Odin closes the hatch as the two men put on their helmets and Odin takes evasive maneuvers. They go through a corckscrew roll and bank sharp left, Odin wiping the PG-THICK7 into impossible turns. They get flanked by two other bogies ( that's unknown enemy aircraft for the uninitiated.) Odin dives down by a clean 90 degrees and hits the afterburners and they go straight up, causing the bogies to break rank. Odin banks back around and does a full inversion above as trump snaps a picture of the pilot before Odin pulls off, slipping back behind the bogies and shoot them out of the sky. The PG-THICK streams out red, white and blue smoke as it comes in for a beach side landing. The Jet skids to a halt as Odin and Trump hop out and highfive. 

Freeze frame. 

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Chapter II: Impending k-k-kollapse

The US secret service rush the scene as the other choppers land. They rush to cover the president as lead service man codenamed: BILLS comes up to Odin and buries his finger in Odins chest.

Bills: What the hell kind of cheap trick mickey mouse bullshit was that? That was the president of the united states you had in your care. This is a matter of national defen- 

The All Father raises up his mighty clobbering paw and lays it clean across Bills cheekbone, like so many dicks before it. Bills goes airborn and flies a half mile out to sea. 

Odin Ballfore: This is a matter of national poon-security. That's what this is. Do not let this fool you. You are not here on a day trip. You are here as foreign nationals. I will stress the word foreign; make no mistake about whose country you’re in. 

Pence speaks up, fresh off his wife bosom. 

Pence: This is a clear attack on the president. 

Odin Balfore: This is a clear attack on me. This is insurrextion, a rebellion, this is treason and I shall deal with it personally. 

Trump: Odin, you have shown yourself to be a friend and tremendous ally. You have the US’s full support for your investigation. Believe me. 

Odin Balfore: Thank you. This has been brewing for sometime and I have shown a blind eye to it. Clearly I have been too lax and forgiving. Let this be a lesson: do not give your enemies an inch or they will take a mile. This is an impending collapse that has been in the works for months and I’m not about to let it happen. 

Trump: Odin, the US will be looking at this attack very carefully, very carefully. We’ll have our best men on it. 

Odin Balfore: Your best man is out to sea right now, about to be eaten alive by a killer whale high off his whale tits on black tar heroin. There are people out to get me; that much I know. Now, I just have to get to the bottom of it. 

Trump: Why do you think they are doing it?

Odin Balfore: I am the leader of Poonguinea and WCF Champion, either people want to usurp my throne of my championship. They want to collapse my reign but that's the worst thing they could ever do. 

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Chapter III: The Unholy Alliance of Unholy Evil 

Shift to Krampus, twisting and wringing his hands together as he watches on from his liar, the events that just unfolded. He sits in darkness watching a large crystal ball that smokes with nefarious intent. Krampus relishes the anguish that he causes Odin Balfore, his old enemy. 

Krampus: Yes, yes. Everything is going according to plan; even if that shot did not kill that bumbling buffoon, Odin Bafore, it shook him up and let him know that his days are numbered. Now that I’ve brought together my unholy alliance of evil - The Guardians, Steven Singh and Noble Savage, I’ll have rid WCF of Odin Balfore terrible title reign and depose him from his throne and restore my glory! All the years, all the toil, all the trouble - finally that thorn in my side will cease to be and my world domination will begin. 

Krampus moves to the side as staging begins to be lit up one at time. As well as a chess board before him.

FLASH. The light bolts on, revealing a hologram of Bonnie Blue as Krampus begins his diabolical explanation.

Bonnie Blue: Time Witch. Her powers will be most useful in the coming war. Her tenacity is unmatched and her determination is nearly endless. Her experience as both Tag Team and Hardcore champion in WCF as well as her world championship reigns in UCI make her both a good leader and support player. Versatility will be key against Odin Balfore if we are strip him of all his dignity.

Rank: Queen

FLASH. The next light bolts on, revealing a holigram of Alex Richards. 

Alex Richards: Wild card. Unpredictable. Good solider that's always willing to give his all. Every team needs a good Knight. Good for defense and will put up a solid front against Odin and his forces- assuming he can amass such a group. 

Rank: Knight 

FLASH. The next light bolts on, revealing Damian Kaine. 

Kaine: The pawn. We’ll need a canary in this coal mine and Kaine is just the person. If he performs, added bonus but we can always sacrifice him if need be without any penality or hit to our strategy.

Rank: Pawn

FLASH. The next light bolts on, revealing Steven Singh.

Steven Singh: When things get hairy, we can count on him to pull us out of trouble, a cornerstone of the team that can do some real damage if need be considering his past experiences with Odin and the WCF world title. He can change the game. 

Rank: Rook 

FLASH. The next light bolts on

Noble Savage: Young, fresh, eager, ready to fight and a proven asset. The WAR winner and contender at ONE. Although with her motivies she might not be able to be trusted by the enemy of my enemy and our common goals are beneficial. With her strong and aggressive nature, she’ll be great at pressing Balfore in their match. She lives up to her name and with her victory over Odin Balfore, she has a lot of useful experience in this coming fight. And the best part about it is that none of them even knows that I’m using them for my advantage. 

Rank: Bishop 

Krampus turns back to his crystal ball and watches on in delight as his plan unfolds in the most evil and unholy of ways before peering over and seeing the siolets of two men in tanks, suspended in animation. 

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Chapter IV: THICKNESS Rides Again

The All Father sits in his throne room, pondering the complexities of the situation, trying to figure out who wants him dead, gone or at the very least, no longer WCF Champion. The Poonguinea head of security- John Stamos walks in to consult with the All Father. 

John Stamos: All Father, I have come to consult with you, have a meeting of the minds and get the bottom of this situation. I have already talked with the leaders of the Thousand Thick-ni army and they are not sure who it could be. It is not Prince Jimmy Dean, who has recently become king of his own hotdog empire. It is not Jay Omega, even though this stinks like his potent brand of faggotry. It could be Beach Krew but theres not enough taunting. I thought about it being the DRG but alas there is no sign of that snaggletooth sloth smuggler, Thomas Bates anywhere - thank Jam Willy. 

Odin Balfore: Have you checked in with our Atlantean leads or with Kurt Navarro?

John Stamos: The Atlanteans are looking into things and Kurt Navarro has gone dark - like super dark. Like spook payin child support, kinda dark. 

Odin Balfore: Seems a tad racist of you, John Stamos. Didnt you marry that blue bitch?

John Stamos: Rebecca Rojim, me, sir. Yes, I did. I just figured you’d enjoy a bit of brevity in these uncertain times. 

Odin Balfore: Any word on Cairo? 

John Stamos: Godfather is MIA, sir, no doubt on some top secret mission for the sake of national poon security. 

The All Father gets up from his throne and walks towards a set of plate armor. Pulling on the sword hilt, it reveals a secret passing way. 

John Stamos: Where are you going?

Odin Balfore: I need a merc with a mouth, familiar in the ways of the THICKNESS. 

John Stamos: But ZMAC is too unpredictable. He ravages the poon of the Bonnie Blue clone, sir. His THICK would not betray her likeness. 

Odin Balfore: Indeed, ZMAC would be dangerous. However, I like danger and whoever this is, is no stranger to me. 

John Stamos: Could Krampus have assembled a team of Unthick-Avengers - a sort of proto-alliance with the Guardians? After All, Hellimination is coming up and Krampus wants to position himself the best way possible to ensure you no longer have the WCF Championship after you were able to loophole out of the contract you made with him. You made a deal with the Devil and now the devil wants his due. 

Odin Balfore: I believe that you may be right. The devil always wants his due and this thing with Krampus and I - this ain’t ever going to end. 

John Stamos: You should be careful next week, the Guardians would be bold enough if they had teammates to help them. 

Odin Balfore: Then perhaps I should assemble a team as well. With Cairo and Navarro MIA, I’ll need to reach out locally but first, I gotta go find that merc with a mouth. John Stamos, The THICKNESS shall ride again. 

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Chapter V: He Brought Hell.. and Pizza 

Taste of Italy Pizzaria. 

Odin Balfore: My nilla, you live upstairs from a pizza place? This is about the money, isnt it. Here, Yung Monstah, All Father will flash you the cash you need to get yourself out of these unthick digs. Is this only window facing a brick wall; what did a blind man use this?

The All Father reaches into his pocket and allows a large wad of hundreds cascade down onto the floor. 

Odin Balfore: This is not Charity, Kazward. Thick begets THICK. Where is your family, your wife and your bambenos; do they live in these barren cupboards in this dusty house with this PATIO LAWN FURNITURE?

The All Father shouts as he picks up Kazs ‘kitchen table’ and throws it out of the window; heart broken to see Kaz in such filth.

Odin Balfore: You the proud Godson, reduced to such shabby means to dine on old pizza and molten lava cake, to slave away for the unthick jobbers wage and to spin your wheels- going nowhere in life because the MAN won’t let you. Yung Kazward, I see what is before me and no sir, I do not like it. There is more for you out there, back where you belong. It is Hellimination and my team needs that young, THICK justice to represent. And I am sure that you are tired of that Ramen over Ramen trip. 

Kaz shoots Odin a look, as if to say that he cannot even afford that. The All Father puts his hand on Kaz shoulder to asure him. 

Odin Balfore: Don’t you worry, We gonna get you laid and paid so hard, Bonnie Blue gonna crab walk backwards the rest of her life with whipped cream nipples just to accommodate the dicking we about to bestow onto her. For every time she shops for whipped cream she will think of us and swoon as I hammer her with my mighty thick. 

The All Father picks up a glade can, and starts waving it around and trusting it into the air

Odin Balfore: We will strike down upon her and give her the business end of the business end. Now, Kazward, what is it that the All Father can do for you to get you to leave these meager conditions behind. “

Kaz: All Father..”

Kaz says with a sad and somber tone.

Kaz: I miss my kids. I -I had two of em’. They meant the world to me. 

Odin Balfore: Ah, so you want to see your bambenos. Well I should tell you that I am legally obligated to inform you that, that is the most unthickest -

Kaz: You asked what I wanted, Odin, and I want to see my kids!

Odin Balfore: Ugh

The All Father groans. The All Father turns his back and uses his winter warlock powers to conjure up a magical snow globe.

Odin Balfore: Here, with this magical snow globe you’ll be able to see your kids whenever you want, wherever they are; across all manner of space and time. 

Kaz: My Nilla, this is a magical snowglobe?

Asks Kaz in wonder and disbelief. 

Kaz: Like in the movie about Santa Clause starring Tim Allen - The Santa Clause”

The All Father pokes Kaz right in the chest. 

Odin Balfore: And we do not tell Tim Allen that we have it or where we got it. We do not want Tim Allen Problems; trust me. Not after the last time..

Flash_Back.exe -> to the last time [ footage not found ] 

Odin Balfore: Come, Kazward. Let us prepare for our battle against the Guardians as they try to undo what you and I have spent years trying to build up. They, Steven Singh and Noble Savage - who is neither a Noble or a Savage but will get Savagly beaten at the Pay Per View. Come now, we have much to have to catch up on and discuss.

______________________________

Chapter VI: Swallow Your Pride ( and other things )

I have seen some rag tag type of teams throughout the years but Bonnie Blues disillusion is showing. She gathers her two friends, the only two in the world aside from ZMAC and huddles them together so that they can do her dirty work under the guise of: ‘ if she wins, they win.’ Nope, that's not how that goes. Ask the Church how that goes. Ask Kid Dynamo how that went - wait, you cant because he’s not here anymore. Ask Steven Singh who bonnie recruited how much sharing is done with the world championship. She should go ask him if he let anyone else in the Church hold HIS belt. Then she went and got Noble Savage, whose won WAR and who will be fighting at ONE for the belt, so her being in this match is akin to suicide. 

Bonnie, if you’re out there, you do not borrow money from the mob and that is akin to what you have done. You went and you asked a whole lot of favors of a whole lot of people and that's going to catch up with you sooner than you think. You think you have friends in the Guardians? Do you think they want to help you get yet another title shot because they just want to see you succeed; fuck no. They’ll want what they want and you’ll have to swallow your pride ( and other things ) to give it to them. 

And to me.

Its funny too because you orchestrated that whole attack last week. You planned that. You knew that but you didnt know who was coming to my aid for the sheer fact that they wanted too. The Animal, Wolf, Kazward and even Gravedigger and MS13. They went to defend what you came to destroy. If you couldnt have it, no one could. You wanted to take me out of action but you failed to accomplish that just as you failed to defeat me last month. 

So this is what you get; Helimination. Your band of misfits, a kinda sorta proven world champion and a talent so fresh she has no idea whats she getting into. However, you do. You know better than all of them. 

And you face James Wolf and McPhearson, both strong and rising talents who will be here when your Guardian pals fuck off sortly after this match. My Boi Kaz who I raised up in this business, taken under the wings of the greatest men this industry has to offer - a man I know better than anyone while you went and plucked a face you thought you could mold in Noble Savage. Why even kid yourself, you know that you cannot mold Noble Savage. Sure, she looks up to you now but that all changes at ONE when she becomes the greatest woman in WCF history because she won WAR and she main evented ONE all the while Bonnie Blue tried to sink her Time Witch claws into her and manipulate her. I can tell you truthfully Bonnie that she will not forget that nor will she forgive that. Then you’ll have burned the only bridge you had left to cross to make it over here with us legends. 

Lets speak of Legends, lets speak of Gravedigger. There really no bigger legend than he - except maybe I. However, he and I- we fought off terrorist together. When ISIS invaded WCF not once but twice, he was there with me. He’s like a brother when it comes to WAR; our records intertwined. He came back because he saw your unthick and honestly, anti-slick baffoonery. You had it too. You couldda been SLICK with it but instead you chose the fuckin Guardians. Instead you chose to feel the wrath of Gravedigger and MS 13. This vapid cunt that I see before me has dragged more people than she should have into a fight that she cannot win. Gravedigger is hardcore. Hes vicious, hes fast, he’s smart and he’s hungry to get in that ring and rip ya boi Alex Richards to absolute shreds. 

S H R E A D S 

You shoulda went and got ya boi ol’ Z ( LOL ) to help defend you in this match because you know he would defend you onto death. Instead you trust Alex Richard and Damien Kaine ? BAHAHAHAHA the only thing you can trust those two to do is get their shit pushed in. Men who only hang around you because they think if they do, you’ll suck them off as a ‘friend favor’ when after all we’ve been through, I’m the one that should be gettin the favor. You had to bribe them to come back when you should be bribing me. I would not trust those two to go buy donuts and coffee, let alone hel secure you a WCF Championship shot. Those are your weakest link. Those are the guys that are going to get snipped and cause your hopes and dream to slip away. 

Then theres your absolute wildcard - Steven Singh. He will not help you, rather he’ll just do what he can to help himself. He’s not there because he likes you. He’s here because the enemy of his enemy, plus he feels you can defeat you. Why struggle to defeat me when Bonnie Blue is the cake walk. I have nothing to say on Singh that I havent been saying for the past ten months. He’s not a leader of the company. He’s just someone who can hold the belt just as SJW before him. A great adversary, sure but a ally of yours; I think not. That's the man that you’re really going to owe when it comes down to it. Sneak into your room late at night, text you in Facebook and pop up with:

So, you remember that favor I did for you at Helloween? [ eggplant emoji, wink emoji, devil emoji ] 

You’ll be handing out world title shots left and right and you won’t even make it past Singh. At least I know you could beat both of the Guardians. Singhs a different kind of liability, he’s your ZMAC without the actual headstrong, undying love that he shows to you because of your sister. Damn shame too because the way I see it, I have at least two friends while Bonnie Blue is the only one making straight enemies out of everyone. 

Then you have Noble Savage, a girl I would have liked to take under my wing until you time witched her out from under me and now you have to deal with what I’m going to do to her at ONE. She’ll remember this week if you win and you know what, she won’t take it easy on you at ONE. Now how I would because Bonnie, I used to like you. I used to respect you and then you went and did all this. I admire that you were a fighter and a dreamer; a person with convictions. 

Now you’ll just be gettin this THICK IN. 

Noble Savage, to you, I say you’re on the wrong side of WCF history. You could be making it but you rather do this. I don’t hate you or dislike you - this is just what Odin Balfore does. I’m a killer shark. Even why you’re doing this I don’t know; it doesn’t affect your match at ONE or maybe you’re hoping it does and you fight Bonnie for that first ever all women ONE main event before a certain other wrestling company does it later on in April or something. Maybe like Singh you want to hedge your bet into the ‘sure thing’ category and not risk the pummeling I’m going to give to you. 

At Hellimination, Team All Father is going to stand tall because there is just not enough people to stand against us. Its not even that I care to win, whether I have a week off or not doesnt even matter to me. I just want to see you fail, Blue because you went about this all wrong. And funny because I told you if you wanted this belt all you had to do was slide your tits and poon into my DM's and I’ll have had it walked out to you on a golden tray with artisan cheeses and wine. Instead I’m about to slide these clobbering paws upside your dome piece and clean rock it clear into outer space where even your guardian pals cant reach. This week once again I’m going to trouce you and victimize just like I always have. However, deep down I’m sure you enjoy it. Its probably all you think you’re good for and you’re not far off. You need a man like me to keep you in line. That empowers you more than winning this championship but first you need to beat me at Elimination and lets just say you’re hopes are winning are quickly fading. 

I’m going to hit you with Ragnarok and end your hopes and dreams once and for all and as you clamor for your teammates and trying to save yourself, you will only find yourself buried six feet under with all your teammates. 

Here lies Bonnie Blue and her Guardians done in by the All Father and his team of WCF Loyal.

And I couldnt have done this without Wolf, McPhearson, my boi Kaz Monstah and Gravedigger. 

But you bonnie, you could have failed all on your own without the all the favors that you owe; if only you swallowed pride 

LOL

And other things. 

Now get ready to suck my dick!