Post by Luke Force on Sept 29, 2018 19:02:20 GMT -5
OOC: The video inserted is the entire freestyle with text so you and the family can sing along at home. Enjoy!
Two young kids are sitting on the steps of an apartment complex in Southeast Washington DC. Neither seems surprised when a muted black 2018 Jeep Rubicon rolls up and park directly outside of a non-descript building. They know what the building is and they are used to nice cars rolling up and men hopping out and heading inside. They know that this building is called The Chimney, it is the recording studio owned and operated by DJ Geisel. The two boys are cool, they’ve seen it before. Then one kid nudges the other as all four of their eyes get wide. They both reach for their cell phones and snap a photo.
Kid1: Was that who I thought is was bro?
Kid2: Holy fuck dude, if he’s headed in there to drop some verses, than that can only mean one thing.
Kid 1 & 2: Luke “The Irresistible Force” is going to WAR!
(Both kids feverishly attack their phones as they post to every social media site known to man.)
(Luke has arrived at the recording studio owned by his longtime friend DJ Geisel. He is wearing a white velour sweat suit with the ‘fu’ logo on the right breast of the jacket. His hat in a black fuzzy Kangol again adorned with ‘fu’ logo.His black Nike shoes also have a small ‘fu’ logo on the sole.
The room he walks into is a good-sized room, meaning there is plenty of space to move about amongst all of the equipment, couches, tables, and people that are also there. The room contains 3 soft leather sectional couches that are brought together to form a U shape. There is a coffee table in front of the couch. There appear to be several different strands of marijuana on the table along with Remy Martin. The couches are positioned so that they look at the 4 sound booths and the engineer station that are also in the room. DJ Geisel, Cap J, and Cee Eugenics are all childhood friends of Luke’s and are sitting on the couches. DJ Geisel took his name from the real last name of Dr. Suess. He is brother who stands a shade over six feet tall and has a slender build. His outfit is similar to Luke’s in that they both velour sweatsuits. Geisel’s outfit is adorned with his djG logo. Cee Eugenics is a white dude who goes about 6’4 and weighs a smidge over 400. Eugenics is a fat out of shape fuck. He is the guy who wheezes when he has to get off the couch, and could easily break the couch trying . The driver’s seat in his 2016 Mercedes Benz ML 500 is permanently bent because his fat ass insists on driving with a gangster lean. Eugenics is wearing the same style he always wears, he has to wear sweatpants and a huge t-shirt. Nothing else fits the fat fucker. Cap J is an albino black dude. He wears jeans with what look to be brand new white on white Air Irresistible Force ones, they have a small ‘fu’ logo on the sole of each shoe. Cap is wearing a Temple of the Dog t-shirt and a red hat with white lettering that reads “Make my Dick Hard Again”. There are several other men and women in the room doing one thing or another, looks like about another seven or eight. Smoking weed, drinking, working at the engineer’s board, writing, mixing beats. It appears to be a happening place. Luke acknowledges some of the others in the room before making his way to the u-shaped couch formation.)
DJ Geisel: So here we are again, 1 year later, 1 more WAR. Last year was a top 12 finish, what you got planned for this year?
Cee Eugenics: Yeah, last year he finished 12th, but where are those 11 people now? You know, Bonnie Blue and Mikey X are the only mother fuckers around who finished better than Luke last year.
Cap J: No shit? What about Odin Balfor, he’s still around.
Cee Eugenics: True dat, he’s still around. But Luke eliminated his ass last year along with 3 other bitches.
Luke: Last year means shit. This is this year and I don’t anybody else in that match gives a fuck what I did last year. But I can tell you this. Each and every one of them mother fuckers is going to care about what I do this year.
DJ Geisel: Heard that. So you jumping into one of these booths. You Eugenics wrote some pretty good shit, you trying to get some of that?
(Cap J chuckles)
Luke: You think I’m going into that box with some Eugenics shit? What I’ve got to say is coming right of the dome. You just give the beat. You heard that?
DJ Geisel: Awight. Get yo ass in.
(Luke removes his sweatshirt and enters the booth. He slips on some Beats headphones. He smiles as he clearly is digging the beat that Geisel has laid down)
I don’t just speak about it, I be about it, in the newspapers you gonna read about it
Luke got in the ring and Forced erybody out it, my skills are tops so they always touted, that bitch in the front row ain’t never doubted, since day one she always shouted. If you don’t know me your memory’s clouded, last year’s WAR was really crowded, top 12 finish is how I came out of it.
I’ll took em out one by one up the ladder rung by rung, step in my way you’ll be among the victims of the pain I brung, my shit’s blows up like Samsung, got more strength than Samson, and I’ll fuck you up like iron lung.
Enough about me it’s on to you, the fuck you think you gonna do? Seen the list of entrants you’ve seen it too. It’s like the shits and remnants I’d wipe of my shoe. It’s a WAR bitch, you have no clue about what’s about to get done to you.
Stephen Sing tops my list of asses that I’m gonna kick. The Golden god is like a golden piss, if you don’t get rid of it, it makes you sick, so listen up you asshole prick, when you gotta pee you probably sit, don’t pull out your cock just move your clit. Not asked to enter war, I just did it. When that smirk left your face, your chance to win went with it. Any dream of winning you can just quit it, I chewed up your dream and I just shit it, in the middle of the ring for you to get wit it, you run a church where ass rapes are permitted, I run the ring, where ass kicks are committed. If I don’t pin you at WAR it’s because you submitted.
Teddy Del Sol
Now let me switch to a different gear, to a guy who’s been around a hundred years, he’s heard the boos he’s heard the cheers, here’s the news Teddy Del Blaze is pioneer, like an old car stereo that you just can’t hear you’ve said nothing here, crossed no frontiers, not like Paul you are not revered, your legacy fades then disappears. Now just wait for the smoke to clear, look in the ring and it appears, that Teddy Blaze is on his rear, he is hoping someone interferes because Luke just switched to a different gear. There is something here that is crystal clear, like every other WAR, this ain’t Teddy’s year.
El Gran Grande Devorador De Planetas Gigantesco Behemotho
No habla no motherfucking Espanola, you stupid fat fuck switch to diet cola, I gotta a diet for you it’s called Ebola, dropkick that Kit Kat pick up some granola, I’ll lock you down like it was Angola, and you’ll worship me I’m an Ayatollah, I’m hot as fuck like Pensacola, caused more pain mesothelioma, can’t sue me all the judges I own ‘em, need a favor, grab the celly and phone-in, if it’s big then some cash gets thrown in, if it’s hard a stripper gets flown in, Behemoth eats chicken whole with the bone in, when that fatass is eating, that bitch is zonin, when I’m done with him his lard ass will be alone in, the middle of the ring, with no muscle toning, his family’s embarrassed they want they start the disowning, this fat piece of shit so they can start cloning, a replacement son who’s not always groaning, As king Irresistible Force assumes the throne
Buff Mustache & Mama Mustache
His face and his hair is just so sloppy, like it came from the bottom of a porta potty, its autumn and you sorta got me Riled up because Buff’s Mustache it just shocks me, I’ll beat your ass like LAPD did Rodney, then go bang your mom cause there’s no one to stop me. I get your mom wet and all sorts of sloppy, her tits are old and all sorts of floppy, if your mom was a car, she’d be a jalopy, Buff’s a Pinto, I’m a Maserati, I fuck her mouth so hard, her accent is Cockney, and the bitch still begs to get back on top me. No need to spike her drink, I ain’t Bill Cosby, I got a great look and this fucker just robs me, your skills have deserted you, just like Mojave, you can’t fire back, just like Benghazi. The Force is blowin up like Nagasaki, I’m a Japanese pilot kamikaze, I’m on a different level I’m called illuminati, if I lived a thousand years ago I would be Anunnaki. If you’re not a Pinto, you’re a moped and I’m a Kawasaki. Look no further I’m better and you can’t stop me. You’re the burger, I’m cheddar and you can’t top me.
Look who had a baby, Nirvanna’s and Janes Addiction , there’s a book that says Navarro wins, like other false predictions, it’s listed under fiction. the ring is my jurisdiction, so I’m handing out convictions, so listen up you bitchman, for all your dereliction, your sentenced to crucifixion, I’ll read your benediction and use my fist to pound the sticks in, Irresistible nails cause irresistible friction, you ain’t Christ, your cross gets no inscription, don’t think twice, you get tossed like this was an eviction. There is no contradiction, of man I’m a supreme edition, both a voice for radio and a face for television, Navarro, we’re on a collision, of course I’m a limited edition, I’m a theoretician, I’ve a theory of indecision. To go wild and beat and you senseless, or kick your ass with fine precision. At WAR and not before, will I make my decision, either way it ends up with my right arm getting risen.
Scotty boy my god do you stink, you’re less like Slayer and more like N-Sync, now listen close to what I think. You’re out of your league, I’m bourbon, you’re a soft drink, you’re a suit of shitty armor with big giant chink, I’m not talkin Yao Ming if that’s what you think, I’ll bring everything, including the kitchen sink, I’ll tear you apart like Tyson did Spinks, I’m a cop and the ring is my precinct, I’ve got a warrant here and the paper is pink, it’s an ass kicking order signed with indelible ink. Good bye Mr. Slayer, for you, this match was a blink
He’s a mute with a mask and they call him McPherson, his skin flute looks for ass that his little dick can fit in. I’m Luke I kick ass and your win is forbidden, this aint a bed with your husband this is a ring you gotta get in, you vote you win, but that just got overridden, I know why you keep your face always hidden, it’s a favor to all of the good people sittin, in the arenas around this country we live in, at WAR, I’ll either pin you or make you give in, you don’t get to choose, it’s my decision, I choose to send your chance to win to prison, then beat your ass until you’re bedridden, as you lay in your bed you have a clear vision, at WAR 18 the Irresistible Force is risen.
Cough, cough. Hack, hack. The Marlboro Man flat on his back, looks like you had a setback, you just met the Force and of course I’m the Mack, you ride the bench, I’m the quarterback, I just took all your money, no you can’t have your quarter back, you’re career is a dead end like a cul de sac, you’re like hooptie on wheels and that shits whack I’m a Coupe de Ville, my shits a Cadillac. I’m like the surgeon general’s warning written on every pack, your shit your outta my match, head to back, smoke up a stack like detestable Hiroshima and Japs, then go wait and die from the Irresistible emphysema attack
Behemoth takes a crap, Ainsley falls out his crack, splat, flat on the mat, stayed like that, bitch was too fat, I just looked and laugh at, can’t get to his feet like Anwar Sadat, some of you punks will have to Google that, he got the rat-a-tat-tat of his enemy’s gat, for you this WAR match will goes just like that. I just turned the heat on, check the thermostat, your punk ass is easy to beat on, with this irresistible baseball bat, and now you’re back on your back, flat on the mat, looking like my Irresistible doormat, I wipe my boot that is that, I get the three count and like your boy Behemoth, you’re out of my match.
Kylie Moore a dike, who can’t fight, you want lesbian rights, you can have them tonight, when I kick your twat like a man and seal it up tight, you say you’re a whore right, get on your whore back, the lights will be bright whore right?, you can look up at them as I end your WAR night. If you’re lucky after I win, I just might, give you some Irresistible dick and get your tendencies right, and then offer it to Kennedy and watch you whores fight, over who gets to be with me every night, I’m not here to be polite so when I’m done, I’m out of sight. And leave you two bitches to do what you like
I’m sorry Michael we have a problem, this idiot Knight Rider thinks he’s a goblin, his chance to win is quantum, the Force will forever haunt him, I got skills, you know I flaunt ‘em. I got moves and I know you don’t want ‘em, Night Rider’s a punk, so I taunt ‘em, get the fuck out is the lesson I taught ‘em, I stand him up straight like a column, then I wrap his ass up like a condom, make him look dead like a possum, he was brought in, I put him down like I shot ‘em, who’s the WAR winner, it’s me not him
It’s Roy Speede with three E’s, kicking your ass will be a breeze, you’ll probably drop your knees and offer oral relief, if I leave you alone and give you some peace, bitch please, get up off these, nuts I guarantee, I get more head than Socrates, I’m the CEO, the President, and the Board of the Trustees. My ass kickings are brutal, not here to appease, I’ll have you twitching, like you got Parkinson’s disease. Like Alex P. Keaton you gets none of these victories, they’re for people like me with an ass kicking degree. So carry yo ass bitch, you ain’t nothing to see, there’s only one winner at WAR, and that be me.
Quintavius Nahaje de la who gives a fuck, I don’t care that your childhood sucked, your old man was in luck, to get killed 3 days after you showed up, and your mom stayed on the streets all hoed up, looking for any cock to blow-up, like a gun at a hold up, you best run, I just rolled up, all swoled from the gym, I snatch that WAR gold up after I beat you down and win, this WAR match ain’t for boys it’s for men, come back when you’re grown up and try it again, for now carry your ass out the same way you came in.
Kennedy Matthews, the princess will rise, when your done blowing me so I can get to those thighs, don’t give a shit if you’re not into guys, and still won’t give a shit when I nut in your eyes, I don’t fit in your ass because of my significant size, at Disney I’d be the big ticket ride, you get a certificate if I fit inside, it says my snatch is now big enough to fit a few guys, I ain’t telling no lies, I stretch the merchandise, I maximize, you’re immobilized, fuck counting to three, the ref could count to five.
Do I beat up Noble or do I kick the shit out of Brandy, here’s an idea that may come in handy, I’ll have my way with both sides even though you can’t stand me, then you can go to the press and say hashtag me too and me, you won’t get believed because your insanity, when I get done with you they say oh the humanity, I greet all of the boos with profanity, I’m always right like that fucker Sean Hannity. Turn around and show me that fannity, this aint no time for no vanity, I will kick that ass rampantly, for that I am rewarded handsomely, with the WAR trophy awarded and handed to me.
The Ultimate Destroyer? you mean the Jolley Green Giant, beating his chest like an idiot tyrant. I make the rules greeney you best get compliant. Rule number one, there is no defiance, you do what I say and you offer silence, you’re a pro bono case amongst billion dollar clients, you’re a GED, I’m a master of science, you know my credentials, here’s my advisement, familiarize yourself with David and Goliath, a smaller size man kicked the shit out of a giant, I’ll explode like an open fire hydrant, I’ll kick you out the ring like Trump does migrants, I’m an Irresistible powered ass-kicking appliance, your not invited to my winner’s party, it’s private.
This just in from the who gives a fuck department, this shit’s so legit, it should be written on parchment, Estrella Luiz is the Girl Next Door, but she lives in an apartment, so there is four next doors, trying to hit that compartment, you know where my dick goes when it’s hardened, fuck your feelings, I ain’t begging for pardon, I’ll choke your ass out, like Chris from Soundgarden, fuck a big puffy beard, I ain’t James Harden, but I’ll damn sure convict your ass, I ain’t Christopher Darden. After a match like WAR your career span will shorten, which is the opposite of my long sex organ, I’ll beat your gash from WAR to west Oregon, then put you on the streets of Portland to whore again, good bye, you should never enter WAR again.
You’re a tormented girl from New York City, your moves, your gimmick, and your future are shitty. Nice to meet you, I’m the president of the Fuck you committee. Now get the fuck out, this won’t be pretty. So listen, missy, you’re a prissy little sissy, and when I eliminate your ass, you’re going to miss me, you feel the Force, you get moist and drippy, I’m Irresistible, it’s not your choice you get dizzy, back in town like Thin Lizzy, the ring is my hizzy, Snoop says Force wins WAR fo shizzy.
In life we often run into what we call hiccups, for Karma it was marrying that loser K Bishop, addicted to drugs she was easy to pick up, it’s called the Florence Nightingale stick up, you nurse em back to health then get your dick up, she’s getting sober your spreading them lips up, next thing you two are hitched, you got this young lady all bitched up, just so you get your dick sucked, that shit’s fucked, That’s the kind of shit I’ve ducked, I ain’t Jay Z, I aint Boyonced up. My cock is big, no need to play it up, don’t need no drugs to stay it up, on its own, Everyday it’s up. I have no remorse, my conscience just ate it up, after this WAR when Karma and Force have made up, and your done with Bishop and want to get a grade up, come see Force the WAR winner and get yourself laid up, I’ll need something to pull, so get ya hair in a braid up, as far as the snatch, I like it with a fade up, I’m the WAR winner, because all the other bitches just gave up
It’s a prince from South Africa, I’ve done the algebra, he’s an anathema, there is nothing practical about the tale he tells, it’s impractical, to think this laughable, international, aristocratical, jack-ass, could get in the ring with the Irresistible, adaptable, unflappable bad-ass, it’s too late Prince you can’t bypass, the pain I dish out for you trying kick my ass, your in deep, like some African wild grass, The Dub ain’t for you, you’re not world class, this WAR ain’t for you, I just kicked your ass, later come back and raise your glass, to the only mother fucker who could outlast, every bitch on the roster I’m an Irresistible badass
Eccentrix is pissed about a fabricated life, another fabrication, his chance to win WAR Sunday night. You haven’t a chance we all know that’s right, so why waste your time, why even enter the fight? Who said you should do it? Who gave the green light. Whoever that is, I would get them out of your life, wait but not fast because you might need a ride, to the hospital in Ontario because you nearly died, from getting your ass kicked while trapped inside, the WAR match with this Irresistible guy, get the best insurance that money can buy. Better advice is to go run and hide, you don’t belong at WAR you’re not a tough enough guy.
Richards you’re a pill popping drunk named Alex, Your meek not bold, so I put you in italics, you have no credit with me, it’s a zero balance, my fists are talented mallets that I use with malice to kick the shit out of guys names Alice, oops I mean Alex, either way it’s a challenge for you to remember what happened. It’s a WAR, there’s no vote, no ballot, I win, I drink, a gallon of champagne from my chalice. While that hottie in row 1 blows on my phallus, Alex, you can’t win shit, your like the Cowboys from Dallas, not like your hometown boy, that winner George Halas. I know you see me and your sad ass gets jealous, my childhood was fine, yours was hellish, then you got a concussion by getting beat by fellas, I remember that match, watching on TV, I was yelling “Hell yes”, I watched you in pain, like a hot dog I relished, damn you got got dawg, no need to embellish it, the way you pop pills, that’s some real Elvis shit, if you’re not sick now, you’ll develop it, don’t even try to get on a wellness kick, just protect your head and wear this helmet kid, and when WAR is over, no need to ask what the hell I did, I’ll be in the middle of the ring when they announce who the winner is.
It’s great that your dick is enormous and glorious, It’s great that your fans think you’re gorgeous, and it’s great to fuck broads from Cali to Georgia, but there’s a Price for that Jayson and I’m gonna warn ya, face or heel I won’t try to turn ya, just don’t fuck with the Force, like the drip it will burn ya, so listen up close, here’s a lesson I’ll learn ya, been there and done all that before ya, in fact I think we both fucked a stripper named Gloria. She’s a stripper no more, now she’s a whore, she’ll be in Ontario picking tricks up at WAR, here’s a WAR trick you can pick up and store, when you’ve got nothing left I’ve got irresistibly more, it would be a million to zero if we were keeping score, but we’re not, you’re eliminated, now walk out the door.
If you’re not on the list, and you didn’t get dissed, here’s a little something for all you bitches I missed. At the end of WAR you will all be so pissed as you see the referee try to raise the Irresistible fist, I do it alone, don’t need no assist, your attempts to defeat me have all been dismissed, by a specialist who exists to kick like podiatrist, ass like proctologist, I’m God like a Baptist, rhyme words like a raptist, your skill set is half this, my matches are classics, my mustache kicks ass yes my moves are bombastic, so come get your ass kicked. Anyone asking who is this? it’s because you’re new to this, raise your can and toast a brew to this, have a dip or work a chew to this, snort a line or pull a tube to this, you’re not ready, come back and regroup to this,
I’m the incredible, hetero sexual, from 18-80 all bitches are beddable, I’m winning WAR that’s inevitable, I take what I want, I’m not equitable, my defense is how I want it, impregnable my path to victory is inexorable, the result at WAR is irrevocable, the fact that I’m the greatest is unquestionable, Skills are too many not listable, words are clear not twistable, I’m the Force mother fucker, irresistible.
(Sound of mic dropping. fade to black)