Post by Dean Wolf on Jul 24, 2018 5:03:38 GMT -5
The title sequence of the show plays and we cut to a shot of the Sixth Dimension Arena. Pyro goes off one by one from each entrance ramp. The cameras pan the audience. Some fans are cheering, some are screaming into the camera, and some are holding signs. A camera gets a shot of one sign that reads “I ASSUME GENDER.” “The Heretic Anthem” by Slipknot plays throughout this introduction.
James Eastwood: The ongoing battle between The Core Institute and Cliff and Biff continues tonight as Bernard Core takes on Cliff of Doom!
We get a shot of James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin sitting at the broadcast table.
James Eastwood: Hello, everyone! I’m James Eastwood and sitting alongside me for another week of tournament action is the legendary Alamo Franklin, who is still fortunately employed on this show.
Alamo Franklin: You’re damn right.
James Eastwood: Last week, we witnessed Biff Mustache defy the odds and defeat Bernard Core. This week, Biff’s going to try and keep the winning up when he takes on Ded Memry. And as I just mentioned a few second ago, our main event will finally see Cliff of Doom get inside the ring with a member of the Core Institute as he takes on Headmaster Bernard Core.
Alamo Franklin: And thank the good Lord we don’t have to see Caleb Ronan wrestle this week. Now we can actually watch some real competition for an entire show!
James Eastwood: Speaking of which, let’s get to our first match and Gordon Gould with the introductions.
“Dead Memories” by Slipknot plays. The crowd cheers. Out comes Ded Memry, who wastes no time coming down to the ring.
Gordon Gould: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from parts unknown, weight unknown, Ded Memry!
James Eastwood: Ded has vowed to take off his mask once he wins the tournament, and he got one step closer to that goal when he defeated Caleb Ronan two weeks ago. Tonight, he has to get through the man who’s standing backstage with Sylvia Evergreen, Biff Mustache.
We cut to the backstage interview area where Sylvia Evergreen is standing with Biff.
Sylvia Evergreen: Thanks, James. Biff, last week you fought through a rib injury and interference from Dean Wolf to pin Bernard Core with a small package.
Biff Mustache: Why you gotta make fun of The Biffster’s package?
Sylvia Evergreen: I wasn’t. That was the name of the pin you used.
Biff is still confused.
Sylvia Evergreen: You know what? Never mind. Anyway, it was a still a tough match and you’re the only one who’s had to wrestle four straight weeks in a row.
Biff interrupts her before she can start the next sentence.
Biff Mustache: It’s impressive, isn’t it?
Sylvia smiles curiously.
Sylvia Evergreen: I suppose so.
Biff Mustache: The Biffster’s coming out here every week, showing testicular fortitude, wrestling with an injury. Shows you how much of a man The Biffster is, am I right?
She smirks.
Sylvia Evergreen: Um, yeah, maybe.
He starts to lay on the Casanova trip pretty thick.
Biff Mustache: Pretty ladies like you like it when a man acts like a man, right?
She starts to blush.
Biff Mustache: It makes you want to let The Biffster take you out now, right?
She forgets herself for a second and acts very flirty.
Sylvia Evergreen: Um, yeah, I think that can happen.
Biff transforms from lothario back to an immature teenager trapped in a grown man’s body.
Biff Mustache: Oh yeah! Date night with The Biffster! First, I’m going to beat Ded Mammaries, then I’m going to back up my homeboy Cliff of Poon , and after that, you and The Biffster are going to have a night on the town! And The Biffster is finally going to get laid!
She snaps out of her coquettish state.
Sylvia Evergreen: Wait, I didn’t say anything about that.
Biff Mustache: Oh. I...um...I’ll see you after the show!
He runs off camera. Sylvia stares at him, smiling and shaking her head.
We cut back to a shot of Ded Memry sitting down in his corner waiting for his opponent.
James Eastwood: Well then. This could turn out to be a banner night for Biff.
“Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” plays. Biff enters the arena to his adoring fans in a new neon green banana hammock. His ribs are still taped. He struts and dances down the aisle mildly, not wanting to hurt himself.
James Eastwood: It’s good to see Biff back to being his old self, but he can’t get too jovial. He’s still got a 1-2 record and one more loss could put him out of contention for the Sixth Dimension Championship.
Alamo Franklin: I agree, and this Ded Memry fella is one tough son of a bitch. Still, I haven’t counted Biff out yet and I ain’t countin’ him out now. He’s got just as much fight in him as any man. He’s just gotta keep his eye on the ball and not think about gettin’ laid tonight. I had many a ring rat vying for my attention, but they didn’t get it until after the match was over.
James Eastwood: I wouldn’t call Sylvia a ring rat. She’s a broadcast professional, and our colleague, I might add, and she’s going on a date with Biff.
Alamo Franklin: Date, one night stand, what’s the difference? Fuckin’ is goin’ to be involved.
James Eastwood: Didn’t you hear what she said? They’re not going to do that!
Alamo Franklin: Sure, Eastwood, whatever you say.
Biff gets in the ring and poses on the second rope, gyrating his pelvis. With Biff showing off to the fans, Ded Memry comes up behind him and pulls him off the second rope, beaming him with punches in the corner. The ref frantically calls for the bell to begin the match as the music stops playing.
James Eastwood: And we’re underway here in this match.
Alamo Franklin: What’d I tell ya? Biff needs to be focused as soon as he enters that ring.
James Eastwood: Ded is a fan favorite here in the Sixth Dimension, but I guess that won’t stop him from winning at all costs.
Ded Irish whips Biff into the opposite corner. No sooner than Biff hits the corner does Ded connect with a corner clothesline. Biff falls to the mat and Ded begins stomping on him.
James Eastwood: Ded is going right after those ribs.
Biff rolls out of the ring and tries to take a walk around the ring, but Ded follows right behind him and drives The Biffster headfirst into the corner post. Biff falls with his body draped over the steel ring steps. Ded grabs Biff by the hair and slams his face into the steps over and over again.
James Eastwood: Ded is just completely brutalizing Biff here in the opening minutes of this contest.
Alamo Franklin: This guy would have given me a run for my money back in the day.
The ref gets out of the ring and admonishes Ded. Ded stops his onslaught and turns towards the ref. The ref backs up out of fear but continues to reprimand the masked man.
Ded turns back around and sees Biff still laid out on the steps. Ded walks past the steps to the next post. He turns back around, runs full speed towards the steps, and dropkicks them, causing Biff to fall backwards onto the outside mat, clutching his ribs in pain.
James Eastwood: That was an innovative way to use the ring steps. Every breath Biff takes must be agony right now.
Alamo Franklin: You have no idea.
Ded picks Biff up and rolls him back into the ring. He gets in and starts slamming Biff’s head into the mat.
James Eastwood: More punishment to that head.
Ded starts choking Biff. The ref counts to four before Ded lets go. He immediately goes back to choking his opponent, prompting another four count from the ref. He lets go and covers, hooking Biff’s leg.
1…
2…
Biff kicks out.
Ded punches Biff in the head a few times and then stands up and stomps Biff’s tender ribs, holding the top rope for leverage. Biff is able to get his foot under the rope and the ref starts a four count. Ded stops at the count of four and takes a quick march around the ring.
James Eastwood: Ded Memry is just pure energy. This guy hasn’t stopped moving since before the bell rang.
Alamo Franklin: I hope he’s in shape enough to keep it up. He doesn’t want to tire himself out and give Biff an opening.
Ded goes back to Biff and gets him to his feet, slamming his head into the top turnbuckle before delivering some more blows to the head.
Ded Irish whips Biff into the opposite corner. Biff bounces out of the corner upon contact, falling to one knee. He gets back up to both feet but is taken immediately down with a one handed bulldog from Ded, who came flying off the ropes. Ded covers.
1…
2…
Biff kicks out. Ded smacks the mat.
James Eastwood: Ded is getting frustrated that he can’t put Biff away.
Alamo Franklin: He can’t let his emotions get in the way. Biff ain’t Caleb Ronan. He ain’t goin’ down that easy.
Ded drops a series of quick elbow drops (seven to be exact). He covers again.
1…
2…
Biff escapes the third pin attempt. Ded stares at Biff bewildered. He slowly gets to his feet and walks backwards into the corner. He manically closes and opens his fists. He starts rubbing his hands all over his mask and hair, as if the will of Biff to fight is making him go crazy.
Biff rolls over and gets to his hands and knees. Ded trudges over to Biff and grabs him in a front facelock. He gets Biff to his feet and traps his head between his legs.
James Eastwood: He’s signaling for a piledriver!
Ded gets Biff off his feet, but Biff blocks the move. Biff instead picks Ded up and drives him to the mat with an Alabama Slam. The Biff faithful cheer his comeback. Biff falls to both knees. Ded is motionless for a quick second before rolling over onto his stomach.
Alamo Franklin: Biff can’t waste time here. He has to get stay on this guy. One move ain’t gonna do it.
Biff catches his breath and gets to his feet. When Ded gets to a kneeling position, Biff comes off the ropes and forces Ded’s face to the mat with a hurricanrana driver.
James Eastwood: That’ll take some out of Ded!
Ded rolls on to his back. Biff gets to his feet and stumbles to the corner. He goes out to the apron and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He swivels his hips one time before taking to the air and landing on Ded with a Swanton Bomb.
James Eastwood: I believe he’s now calling that move the Sexton Bomb.
Alamo Franklin: Whatever it’s called, he needs to be careful with that high risk stuff with his body in the shape that it’s in.
Biff holds his back as he crawls over to Ded for the cover.
1…
2…
Ded kicks out. Biff gets him to his feet and tries for a vertical suplex. Ded blocks it and lifts Biff into a vertical suplex of his own, but Biff lands on his feet and runs toward the ropes. Ded turns around and gets taken out with a springboard roundhouse kick. Biff covers.
1…
2…
Ded gets his shoulder up.
James Eastwood: Biff is starting to show the same frustration that Ded showed just a few minutes before.
Alamo Franklin: Gettin’ frustrated is a waste of time. Just keep on him!
Biff backs up into the corner and waits for Ded to get to his feet.
Alamo Franklin: What’s he waitin’ for? Get on him!
When Ded reaches his feet, Biff charges from behind and jumps up onto his shoulders.
James Eastwood: He’s going for the Secret ‘Stache! But wait! Ded catches him! Electric chair driver!
Crowd: OOOOOH!
James Eastwood: Cover!
1…
2…
2 ½
James Eastwood: How did Biff kick out after that?!
The crowd is in a frenzy.
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME :clap clap clap clap clap: THIS IS AWESOME :clap clap clap clap clap:
Ded stalks Biff. Biff gets to his butt. Ded stands over him, holds his arms up in the air, and then traps the mustachioed one in a sleeperhold.
James Eastwood: Uh-oh. We saw this two weeks ago when Ded put away Caleb Ronan. He’s getting Biff in position for Memory Loss.
Biff is trying to fight the hold but Ded gets him up to his feet. Ded lifts up his right leg to sweep Biff’s left, but at the last second, Biff gets his hand on Ded’s back and pushes him forward. Ded runs towards the ropes. He bounces off and is met with a dropkick from Biff. Ded falls backward between the first and second rope but gets back to his feet and runs towards Biff.
James Eastwood: Pendulum clothesline!
Biff ducks and grapevines his arms and legs around Ded’s arms.
James Eastwood: Crucifix pin!
1…
2…
Both men rapidly get to their feet and clothesline each other. The ref starts a double 10 count.
1…
2…
Dueling chants of “Let’s go Ded” and “Let’s go Biff” go back and forth between the audience.
3…
4…
5…
Both men begin to stir.
6…
7…
Suddenly, the dueling chants stop and the crowd starts to boo. We get a shot of what the crowd is booing for. Caleb Ronan is standing at the top of his ramp with a microphone in one hand and a picket sign in the other.
Alamo Franklin: What the hell is he doin’?! He’s got no business bein’ out here!
Caleb brings the mic to his lips.
Caleb Ronan: Okay, Social Justice Club, just like we used to do outside the college president’s house! Are you ready?! Let’s do it!!!
James Eastwood: Do what?
Members of the SUNY Cortland Social Justice Club come pouring down each ramp in the arena, each of them holding signs.
James Eastwood: How did they get backstage?!
More protesters start coming out of the crowd, jumping over the guardrail. They all begin to chant.
Social Justice Club: HEY HEY! HO HO! BIFF MUSTACHE HAS GOT TO GO! HEY HEY! HO HO! BIFF MUSTACHE HAS GOT TO GO!
The camera picks up the words on some of the signs, including “Misogyny Is Not Welcome Here,” “Make the Sixth Dimension a SAFE Dimension,” and “No Mustache Rides Allowed.” Caleb’s sign looks like this:
James Eastwood: Why are they protesting Biff Mustache?
The Social Justice Club starts surrounding the ring. Biff gets to his knees and looks around the ring incredibly confused.
Alamo Franklin: I don’t give a damn what they’re protestin’! They’re interrupting a goddamn wrestlin’ match! I didn’t think this little turd stain could piss me off anymore but he’s found a way to do it!
He starts yelling at one of the protesters.
Alamo Franklin: Hey, asshole! Get out of the goddamn way! We’re trying to call a match here! You know what? Screw this! I’m gonna knock Caleb’s goddamn head off! I don’t give a shit if I get fired!
James Eastwood: Alamo, no!
Alamo throws his headset on the table. He shoots up out of his seat but he is swarmed by a group of Caleb’s cronies. Alamo starts punching them to the approval of the fans. However, the more protesters he gets out of the way the more that block his path to get to Caleb on the other side of the ring.
James Eastwood: There is complete chaos going on here at ringside! We’ve got a spontaneous protest happening, Alamo Franklin is fighting members of the Social Justice Club, and we’ve got a match still going on in the ring, although the protest seems to have taken the attention of Biff Mustache and the referee!
The ref is shouting at the protesters to disperse but to no success. Some of the protesters even try to get up on the apron, but Biff knocks them off with punches. The crowd cheers. The camera picks up Cliff of Doom running down his ramp.
James Eastwood: It’s Cliff of Doom!
Cliff starts trying to clear the ringside area of protestors as well.
Biff turns around and dodges a running clothesline by Ded, turns back around, kicks Ded in the gut and scoops him up.
James Eastwood: He’s going for The Pleasure Center!
Before he can hit the move, Caleb gets up on the apron with his sign while yelling the anti-Biff chant. The ref runs over to Caleb and orders him off the apron. Biff drops Ded without hitting the move.
James Eastwood: I think Biff has had enough of this nonsense!
Biff pushes the ref out of the way, and grabs Caleb by his collar. The ref tries to get Biff to let him go but Biff is having none of it.
James Eastwood: Wait, here comes Ded Memry!
Ded clobbers Biff with a double axe handle to the back of the head, which causes Caleb to fall off the apron; but his fall is broken by some of his Social Justice Club members. Ded traps Biff in the sleeperhold, pulls him away from the ropes, and sweeps his left leg for the facebuster.
James Eastwood: MEMORY LOSS!
Ded covers.
1…
2…
3…
“Dead Memories” plays.
Gordon Gould: The winner of this contest, Ded Memry!
The ref raises Ded’s arm as he looks bemused at the carnage around the ring. He rips his arm away from the ref. He leaves the ring, pushing protesters out of his way so he can head back up his ramp.
James Eastwood: Ded could care less about any of this mayhem. He just knows that he’s one step closer to taking that mask off.
The standings graphic appears on screen.
James Eastwood: Well, give Ded Memry credit for taking advantage of the distraction but I wonder if the result would have been the same without this seemingly random protest!
The protesters scurry away into the crowd. Sixth Dimension security chases some of them off. Alamo Franklin still has a hold on one of the protesters as he takes a few more swings, but security breaks the scuffle up while the protester gets away. Alamo pushes security off of him and yells a few choice words at them as he walks back to the broadcast table. Caleb runs back up his ramp. Biff recovers and gets up to one elbow. Cliff gets in the ring to check on Biff, who looks Caleb’s way. When Caleb reaches the top of his ramp, Bernard Core comes out in his rope to meet him. His left hand is behind his back.
James Eastwood: What the hell is Bernard Core doing there?
Core reveals a white envelope in his left hand and hands it to Caleb. The two shake hands hands and Caleb walks to the back.
James Eastwood: What the hell was that?! Was that a payoff?! Did Bernard Core concoct this whole protest to cost Biff the match?! Was that what Bernard Core meant last week when he told Caleb that maybe there was something he could do for him?!
Core smiles snidely at Biff and waves at him. Biff grits his teeth and sneers. He breathes heavy. A little spit even ends up on his mouth, like he’s a rabid dog. Core walks into the back. Biff gets up to leave the ring. Cliff tries to restrain him, but Biff pushes him away. Cliff backs off as Biff leaves the ring.
James Eastwood: I don’t think we’ve ever seen Biff this angry in his life!
We hear the sound of Alamo putting his headset back on.
James Eastwood: Alamo, you alright?
Alamo Franklin: What kind of a dumbshit question is that?! I’m mad as hell! We’re sittin’ here watchin’ a great match between two hungry wrestlers and that bleedin’ heart pissant decides he’s gonna hold a protest for God knows what reason! I tell you what, if I could have gotten to Caleb Ronan, he would have had that picket sign up his ass!
James Eastwood: Well, maybe we can get some answers from Sylvia Evergreen, who’s going to hopefully get an explanation from Caleb Ronan!
We go to the back where Sylvia Evergreen and her camera crew approach Caleb Ronan, who’s walking backstage, counting the money that’s in his envelope.
Sylvia Evergreen: Caleb Ronan, can we get a word with you?
Caleb looks up from the envelope and notices the camera in his face.
Sylvia Evergreen: Why were you protesting Biff Mustache?
Caleb Ronan: Biff Mustache is a disgusting, cisgender misogynist who needs to take his sexual predation out of this safe space!
Sylvia Evergreen: But we saw Bernard Core hand you an envelope. Were you paid to have this protest?
Caleb Ronan: Sylvia, I’m not just a wrestler or a critically acclaimed blogger or an Etsy entrepreneur. I’m a professional activist, the "professional" part meaning that I get paid for my activism.
Sylvia becomes incredulous.
Sylvia Evergreen: It sounds like you sold out to Bernard Core and helped him get revenge on Biff Mustache.
Caleb Ronan: Sold out? Sold out?! How dare you?! I resent that remark! I’m...I’m…
His eye starts to twitch. His muscles start to contract.
Caleb Ronan: I’M OFFEN---
Biff’s voice can be heard off camera.
Biff Mustache: Hey!
The camera pans over to Biff, who’s staring straight at Caleb. The camera pans back to Caleb, who’s stunned silent and frozen at the sight of an angry Biff. The twitching and contractions have stopped. After a few seconds, he runs away. Biff chases after him.
Biff Mustache: Get back here, you son of a bitch!
The camera follows the chase. Caleb leaves the arena through the nearest exit door. Biff pushes the door out of his way and continues his pursuit outside the arena. The camera turns back around and we see Sylvia, who’s caught up to the camera crew. She looks at the closing door before looking back at the camera disappointed.
Sylvia Evergreen: Well, I guess that date’s cancelled for tonight.
She walks off screen as the show fades to black and goes to a commercial.
We get a shot of James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin at the broadcast table.
James Eastwood: Well, this has certainly been a crazy turn of events here in the Sixth Dimension. If you’re just joining us, take a look at this replay.
A replay of the bedlam from the match prior plays. James Eastwood provides the voiceover.
James Eastwood: Towards the end of the match between Biff Mustache and Ded Memry, Caleb Ronan led the Social Justice Club in a ringside protest against Biff Mustache! Alamo got into fisticuffs with some of the protesters, and as you can see here, Caleb Ronan distracted the ref and Biff, allowing Ded Memry to hit Memory Loss and pin Biff for the win!
We then get a replay of Bernard Core handing the envelope full of cash to Caleb.
James Eastwood: And after the match, we found out who was bankrolling this spontaneous rally, Headmaster Bernard Core!
The replay ends and we go back to James and Alamo.
James Eastwood: It’s just like Bernard Core to do something like this! He can’t handle the fact that he lost to Biff Mustache, so he uses someone else to do his dirty work and cost Biff another victory!
Alamo’s looking off to the side and wringing his hands.
Alamo Franklin: I hope Biff caught up to Caleb Ronan and left a permanent boot mark on the back of that fuckin’ pussy’s head.
James Eastwood: We have Bernard Core standing by right now. Headmaster Core, do you understand that you and Caleb Ronan have probably ended Biff Mustache’s chances of making it to the finals of this tournament?
A split screen appears, with James Eastwood on one side and Bernard Core and Dean Wolf on the other.
Bernard Core: Really? I had no idea!
He laughs.
James Eastwood: You’ll stop at nothing to win this tournament, won’t you?
Bernard Core: I love it when so-called objective broadcast journalists show their true bias; and just like the rest of the media, James, you’re misrepresenting the facts. This was not about revenge. This wasn’t about “getting ahead” in this tournament. This was about making things right. Do you think it was right that I lost to Biff Mustache last week?
James Eastwood: What do you mean? Biff pinned you in the middle of the ring!
Core gets annoyed.
Bernard Core: No! Do you really think that someone who can’t even read at a first-grade level could ever beat an technical and intellectual master like myself without some help? I had him twisted up like a pretzel in the middle of the ring and it was only a matter of time before he tapped out. The only thing that saved him was that I had to let go of the Headmaster Lock and be on my guard once Cliff of Doom took out my Dean of Discipline.
Dean Wolf purses his lips and looks down at the ground.
Bernard Core: And it was a good thing that I was on my guard because if I hadn’t, Cliff of Doom might have come into the ring and attacked me. The only mistake that I made was that I didn’t go outside the ring and beat Cliff of Doom within an inch of his life.
James Eastwood: Well, you’ll have the chance to do that tonight.
Bernard Core: You’re right, James. I WILL have the chance to do that tonight. And let me tell you something: Cliff of Doom has had this beating coming ever since he got involved in our business and tried to play superhero when we were in the middle of trying to send Biff Mustache out of here on a stretcher. And ever since then, he’s been a thorn in my side. First, he blindsided me with a superkick when all I was doing was supporting my Dean of Discipline in his first match, and as we’ve already discussed, he cost me a victory last week. Well, tonight, I’m going to put Cliff in a Headmaster Lock, and I can’t promise that I won’t break his knee while he’s in the hold.
James Eastwood: And what role is Dean Wolf going to try and play in your match this week?
Bernard Core: I don’t know. He had a hand in my defeat last week, so let’s see if he repeats himself…
He stares at Wolf. Wolf stares back defiantly.
Bernard Core:...or actually does the job that I pay him to do.
Wolf stares for a few more seconds before backing down and looking away frustrated. Core looks back at the camera.
Bernard Core: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and be the best at what I do. I suggest you try and do the same in your line of work, James.
Core walks off camera. Wolf shakes his head and walks off as well. We go back to just a single screen image of James and Alamo. James looks irritated.
James Eastwood: He’s a real piece of work, that one. Let’s go to Sylvia Evergreen, who’s certainly working hard with all the shenanigans going on backstage the last two weeks. She’s standing by with Cliff of Doom.
We get a shot of Sylvia Evergreen and Cliff of Doom in the interview area.
Sylvia Evergreen: Thanks, James. Cliff, do you have any response to what Bernard Core just said?
Cliff of Doom: Well, Bernard Core’s right. I AM a thorn in his side, and there’s a reason for that. Bernard Core is a cancer to everything he touches. Whether it’s education, professional wrestling, it doesn’t matter. He runs roughshod over everything until he gets his way. I mean, look what he just did. He paid Caleb Ronan to cause chaos at ringside and it cost Biff his match. Well, I’m not about to let him get his way for a second time tonight, so whether I have to drop him on his head, knee him in the face, or break HIS knee, I’m going to beat him and send him one more step closer into obscurity.
Sylvia Evergreen: The last two weeks, you’ve been in Biff’s corner in his matches against The Core Institute and I understand that he was supposed to be in your corner tonight in your match against Bernard Core. However, he left the arena to chase after Caleb Ronan. If he doesn’t return by the time your match starts, are you going to be worried about Dean Wolf’s presence at ringside?
Cliff thinks for a second before answering.
Cliff of Doom: Yeah, it’d be nice to have a second pair of eyes on Wolf. On the other hand, after what I did to him last week, maybe Dean Wolf will think twice before putting his hands on me again.
Cliff walks off camera. Sylvia Evergreen looks into the camera.
Sylvia Evergreen: James, this could be a vitriolic matchup.
We get a shot of James Eastwood.
James Eastwood: You’re right about that Sylvia. Alamo, what are your thoughts on tonight’s main event.
Alamo is still wringing his hands and muttering vulgarities about Caleb Ronan under his breath.
James Eastwood: Alamo? Alamo?
Alamo Franklin: Stupid fuckin’ asshole piece of shit cocksuckin’ motherfucker…
James Eastwood: Okay, folks, we’re going to take a quick break and try to bring Alamo back to the present before our main event. Alamo? C’mon man, snap out of it…
We get a shot of James Eastwood, who’s at the broadcast table by himself.
James Eastwood: During the commercial break, the production team convinced Alamo to get up and take a walk to cool off and clear his head, so he might be back in a few minutes, but for now, I’ll be calling the action for the main event by myself. Let’s go to Gordon Gould for the ring introductions.
“Wing Fortress Zone” by Masato Nakamura plays. Bernard Core and Dean Wolf walk out, Core in his robe and Wolf in a gray three piece suit. Core is still wearing his unctuous smile on his face. Wolf looks less than unenthusiastic to be accompanying his boss out to ringside. They head down to the ring, Wolf following behind Core, a considerable distance between them.
Gordon Gould: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, representing The Core Institute and accompanied by Dean Wolf, from Albany, NY, weighing in at 225 pounds, Headmaster Bernard Core!
James Eastwood: No matter what how much he interferes in other wrestlers’ matches, the only way he’s going to win this tournament is if he wins his OWN matches. With one loss under his belt, winning tonight is even more imperative, and by the look of Wolf’s body language, I don’t know if he’s so willing to help the Headmaster out.
Core and Wolf enter the ring. Core goes to his corner. The music stops. He takes off his robe, but instead of handing to the ring attendant, he holds it out for Wolf to take.
James Eastwood: Well, this is certainly different.
Wolf looks at Core with a blank stare, as if he’s trying to telepathically say to Core “Really?” Core just stares right back, almost daring Wolf to defy him. After a tense few seconds, Wolf reluctantly relents and takes the robe. Core nods his head, acknowledging his small victory over his dean. Wolf heads out to the floor and hands the robe to the ring attendant.
James Eastwood: Let that be a lesson to everybody: if you ever work under Bernard Core, don’t make a mistake.
The arena goes dark. Metallica’s James Hetfield finger picks over the sound of strings and wind instruments to begin “No Leaf Clover”. When the rest of the band kicks in, a spotlight shines on Cliff of Doom, who is at the top of his ramp posing with his arms stretched, fists clenched, and his head thrown back while he lets out a yell.
Gordon Gould: His opponent, from Selden, NY, weighing in at 218 pounds, Cliff of Doom!
Cliff walks down to the ring. At the end of the first verse, the song cuts to the guitar solo, by which point Cliff climbs on to the second rope and repeats the same pose from before. He looks back at Bernard Core, who’s nonchalantly leaning up against the turnbuckles in his corner. Cliff then looks down to the floor at Dean Wolf, who just stares up at him. Cliff hops off the ropes, takes off his vest, and paces back and forth in the ring, looking at Bernard Core the whole time.
James Eastwood: For my money, these two are the best pure athletes in this whole tournament. I am very excited for this matchup.
As Cliff of Doom’s music still plays, the camera gets a shot of Alamo Franklin walking back down to ringside. The music stops and the ref calls for the bell. We hear the sound of Alamo putting back on his headset.
James Eastwood: Feeling better, Alamo?
Alamo Franklin: Just shut up and call the match.
James Eastwood: You got it.
Cliff and Core circle each other. They engage in a collar and elbow tie up and follow it up with some chain wrestling. Eventually, Core mounts Cliff and gives him a few quick smacks on the back of the head.
James Eastwood: Bernard Core show his usual amount of “respect.”
Both men get back to their feet and circle each other again. More chain wrestling ensues. This time it concludes with both men getting to their feet and Cliff smacking Core right across his face.
Crowd: Ooooo.
James Eastwood: And there’s some “respect” from Cliff of Doom!
Core is enraged and charges at Cliff. Cliff dodges and Core comes off the ropes. Cliff sends him to the mat with a back elbow. He follows up immediately with an elbow drop but misses. Core goes for a jumping knee drop but misses. Cliff shoots up to his feet and cradles Core in an Oklahoma roll. The ref counts.
1…
2…
Core kicks out. Both men waste no time in getting vertical and have a stand-off. The crowd applauds their effort.
They circle each other and go into a collar and elbow tie up for a third time. Core traps Cliff in a waistlock but Cliff reverses and gets hold of a waistlock of his own. Core grabs Cliff’s hands and tries to pull them apart before rolling forward and grabbing Cliff’s leg. He tries to get Cliff’s ankle between his thighs, but Cliff frantically pulls away and makes it to the ropes.
James Eastwood: I think Core was going for an STF but Cliff had it well scouted.
Core tries to pull Cliff from the ropes but Cliff doesn’t let go. The ref counts to four before Core releases. He and the ref argue. Cliff pulls himself up to his butt before realizing Wolf is only a few feet away. He quickly gets to his knees and stands on guard, but Wolf doesn’t even attempt to move in Cliff’s direction. Cliff looks a little confused and keeps his eyes on Wolf anyway.
James Eastwood: I think Cliff was expecting Wolf to attack him, but Wolf didn’t even budge.
Out of his peripheral vision, Cliff sees Core coming at him, so Cliff grabs Core’s trunks and throws him out of the ring between the top and middle ropes. Core falls to his feet. Cliff stands up but Core grabs one of his feet and trips him up. Cliff falls on his back. Core takes Cliff’s leg and slams it over the ring apron.
Core gets back in like an animal ready to attack his next meal. He holds up Cliff’s leg and starts kicking at the back of the knee. He attempts the Headmaster Lock but Cliff grabs his head and rolls him up with a small package.
James Eastwood: This is how Core lost last week!
1…
2…
Core kicks out. Both men get to their feet. Core runs at Cliff, but Cliff sends him down with a side headlock. Core grabs the headscissors. Cliff counters with a jackknife pin.
1…
2…
Core gets his hands around Cliff’s waist and bridges out of the pin attempt. He gets to his feet, spins, and pins Cliff with a backslide.
1…
2…
Cliff kicks out and rapidly goes for another small package.
1…
2…
James Eastwood: It’s Pinfall City here in the Sixth Dimension! What do you think Alamo?
Alamo stays silent.
James Eastwood: Nothing? Okay.
Core kicks out and grabs both of Cliff’s legs, sending him to the mat. He slingshots Cliff into the corner, but Cliff jumps and lands on the second rope. He climbs to the top and goes for a moonsault. Core gets both feet up. Cliff lands on his feet and cross Core’s shin behind the knee of his opposite leg.
James Eastwood: He’s going for the No Leaf Clover but he can’t get Core turned around!
Core rakes Cliff’s eyes. Cliff lets go and walks away from Core. Core gets up and throws Cliff with a half nelson suplex.
Crowd: Ooooo!
Core grabs Cliff in a chinlock. The crowd claps to motivate Cliff. He gets up to his feet and drives a few elbows into Core’s gut. He escapes the chinlock and starts to run towards the ropes, but Core snatches a handful of hair, which sends Cliff plummeting to the ground. He holds the back of his head in pain.
Core compounds Cliff’s pain with a falling headbutt. He covers.
1…
2…
Kickout.
Core grabs Cliff by the hair again. The ref admonishes him but Core ignores the ref and throws Cliff to the outside. Core makes an attempt to go to the floor but the ref stops him. Core argues but the ref begins to reprimand him. While the ref continues his rant, Core looks over to Wolf and subtly directs him to attack Cliff. Wolf doesn’t move. Core tries to make his order more obvious, but Wolf just stares at him, blatantly defying the Headmaster.
Cliff gets to his feet and is perplexed by Wolf.
James Eastwood: Cliff can’t believe that Wolf didn’t attack him and just let him get up.
Cliff climbs up onto the apron. Core throws his hands up in the air in exasperation and pushes past the ref. Before he can get his hands on Cliff, Cliff ducks under the top rope and slams his shoulder into Core’s abdomen. Then he gets his head between Core’s thighs and lifts him over the top rope with a backdrop. Core crashes to the floor. The crowd cheers.
Cliff positions himself in the middle of the ring. He motions to the crowd to make some noise, but keeps his eyes on Wolf. Wolf doesn’t move towards his Headmaster.
James Eastwood: Wolf isn’t trying to provide Bernard Core with any aid at all.
When Cliff is confident that it’s safe to head to the outside, he runs across the ring, comes off the ropes, runs to the opposite side of the ring, and sails over the top rope.
James Eastwood: CLIFF DIVE!
Cliff hits the suicide somersault senton right on target. He gets to his feet and pumps himself up by yelling to the crowd, who respond likewise. He positions Core on the apron so that his head is hanging over the outside. Then, he slingshots himself off the second rope, and drops a guillotine leg onto Core’s sternum, causing Core to crumble to the floor.
Cliff gets Core back into the ring and looks back at Wolf.
James Eastwood: Still no movement from Wolf.
Cliff gets in the ring and covers Core.
1…
2…
Core kicks out. Cliff gets Core to his feet and puts him up against the ropes. He chops Core two times.
He Irish whips Core off the ropes but it’s reversed. Core bends down but Cliff applies a front facelock, hooks the right leg, and executes a fisherman neckbreaker. He covers.
1…
2…
Core kicks out. Cliff goes to the apron. He gets ready to hit a move, but looks at Wolf first. Wolf just stares but other than that, no response. Cliff springboards off the top rope and spins 450°, but before he can land the splash, Core moves out of the way. Cliff avoids a crash landing and rolls forward. He’s scooped up by Core but Cliff counters with a headscissors takedown. Core gets to his feet but he’s sent flying into the corner with a front missile dropkick. He falls to his ass.
Cliff sets Core up on the top rope and begins climbing.
James Eastwood: He might try for the Cliffhanger here.
Before Core can get the move going, Core gets a few rights into Cliff’s midsection. He lifts Cliff and sends him falling to the mat with a top rope gourdbuster.
Crowd: Ooooo!
Instead of taking advantage of the situation, Core looks at Wolf and begins talking to him. The camera picks up what he’s saying.
Bernard Core: What’s with you? Are you afraid of him? What’s with you? Do your job!
Core turns his attention back to Cliff, who’s recovered and tackles Core into the corner. Cliff takes a few steps back, runs towards Core, and monkey flips him out of the corner. Core falls in a seated position and Cliff hits a rolling neck snap. He holds his finger up in the air and heads to the top rope to the cheers of the fans.
Cliff flies off the top rope with a frog splash but Core moves out of the way.
James Eastwood: Crash and burn for Cliff!
Core grabs Cliff’s leg and crushes his knee with a kneebar drop. Then, he latches on to Cliff’s knee with an Indian Deathlock.
James Eastwood: Alamo, what is this move doing to Cliff of Doom right now?
Alamo’s still silent.
James Eastwood: You know, I understand you’re angry about Caleb Ronan, but don’t let it get in the way of your job, man.
Alamo Franklin: Listen, I’m goin’ to tell you this one more time. You just call the match and leave me be. You’re a good guy, but I got one boot already reserved to go up Caleb Ronan’s ass and I can reserve the other one for yours if you’d like.
James Eastwood: Nope, I’m good.
Cliff reaches out for the ropes but he’s too far away. Core looks behind him and sees Wolf. He holds out his hand, expecting Wolf to grab it and give him extra leverage on the submission hold; but he just stares at Core’s hand. Core hits the mat.
Bernard Core: Hey!
He holds out his hand again but Wolf still stays frozen in opposition. Core gets frustrated and releases Cliff from the hold. He gets to his feet and starts yelling at Wolf.
Bernard Core: Is this really something you want to do?
James Eastwood: Maybe Wolf is tired of taking orders from Bernard Core. After we’ve seen the way Bernard has talked to Wolf after making just one mistake, I can’t blame Wolf for not wanting to be an accessory to Core’s cheating.
Core takes his anger out by slamming Cliff’s knee into the mat over and over again. Once more, he tries to drape the leg over his shoulder, but Cliff rolls to his stomach and kicks Core in the head a number of times, the crowd getting louder with each kick. Core finally lets go and stumbles backward, eventually leaning on the ropes for support. Cliff carefully gets to his feet, trying not to apply too much pressure to his knee. Core comes towards him but grabs him around the waist and throws him with a northern lights suplex followed by a bridging pin.
1…
2…
Core kicks out. Cliff scoops him up.
James Eastwood: He’s going for the Doomstone!
Core escapes the move. He lifts Cliff up in the air and slams him down to the may with an Olympic Slam.
James Eastwood: He calls that the Institutional Slam!
Core covers.
1…
2…
Cliff kicks out. Core looks to the crowd and does a slicing motion with his thumb. He hooks Cliff’s left leg and drapes his arm over his head.
James Eastwood: He’s going to go for Standardization!
He lifts Cliff, but Cliff turns it into another small package.
1…
2…
Core kicks out. He gets to one foot but is hit in the face with a super kick. He falls right on his face. Cliff covers.
1…
2…
2 ½
Core kicks out. The crowd can’t believe it.
James Eastwood: My god, he was a hair away from victory!
Cliff starts lifting Core in a fireman’s carry, but his knee can’t take the weight. He lets go of Core, who falls to his feet. He grabs Cliff’s tights and starts hitting him with forearms to the lower back. He pushes Cliff to the ropes. Cliff comes off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and goes for a handspring back elbow. Core clutches Cliff around the waist and throws him backward with a release German suplex, but Cliff flips moonsaults and lands on his feet. Core charges but Cliff gets him up in a fireman’s carry and seamlessly transitions into a double knee gutbuster.
James Eastwood: Cliff can’t capitalize with a pin. He somehow mustered up enough strength in that knee to lift Core up for the fireman’s carry but damaged it right away with the gutbuster. I guess he went for the desperation move that time but it seems to have hurt him just as much it hurt Core.
Cliff finally drags himself over to Core for the pin.
1…
2…
2 ¾
Core kicks out. The crowd goes mental.
James Eastwood: He took too long to make the pin.
Cliff hobbles up to this feet, putting almost no pressure on his knee. Still, he signals that he’s going to go for one of his finishers. He drapes Core’s arm over his head.
James Eastwood: Don’t tell me he’s going to try the Doomerang! Can the knee handle it?
Cliff lifts Core up, but probably not as high as he would like. He sends Core down and lifts up his knee for the connecting shot, but he can’t get the left (and injured) knee up as high as he needs. Instead, Core grabs the entire leg and shoots Cliff down to the mat with a dragon screw leg whip. He spares no time in hooking the leg over his shoulder and rolling Cliff onto his stomach.
James Eastwood: HEADMASTER LOCK!
Cliff starts screaming as his knee gets torn up by the hold. The crowd gets to their feet, imploring Cliff to not give up.
Crowd: LET’S GO CLIFF! LET’S GO CLIFF!
Cliff starts feeding off the energy of the crowd and begins crawling towards the ropes.
James Eastwood: Cliff is just a few feet away from the ropes! If he can just hang in there, he can get out of this devastating submission maneuver!
Wolf walks slowly to the ropes that Cliff is crawling towards. Cliff holds his hand out. Core sees Wolf and begins barking instructions.
Bernard Core: Wolf, don’t let him grab the rope! Pull the rope away!
Wolf looks over at Core and then back at Cliff. Cliff is inching closer and closer to the bottom rope.
Bernard Core: What are you waiting for?! Grab the rope!
Wolf does nothing. Cliff is just a fingertip away.
Bernard Core: Wolf! God damn it! Please! Grab the rope!!!
Wolf doesn’t move a muscle. Cliff pushes himself up with his left arm while holding the right one out. He pushes himself forward, collapses, and gets a hold of the bottom rope. The crowd explodes. Core yells in aggravation. He keeps a hold on Cliff’s leg until the ref counts to five. He lets go, walks to the ropes, and looks down on Wolf.
Bernard Core: This is how it’s going to be, huh?! This is what you want?!
Wolf begins walking away. Core follows him.
Bernard Core: Don’t you walk away from me! I saved you and I can end you! Do you hear me! I can end you! I can send you back to the bar I found you in! Is that what you want! Fine! You’re fi---
Cliff comes from out of nowhere and schoolboys Core.
1…
2…
Core kicks out. Both men hastily get to their feet. Cliff comes at Core with a clothesline. Core ducks and lifts Cliff in the air.
James Eastwood: UNIPLEX! BRIDGING PIN!
1…
Cliff grabs the bottom rope.
2…
Wolf, feeling conflicted after Bernard Core's words, makes a last minute decision and tears Cliff’s hand off the rope.
James Eastwood: HEY!
3…
The ref calls for the bell.
James Eastwood: WHAT?!
“Wing Fortress Zone” plays and the ref raises Core’s hand. The crowd is disgusted with the decision. Cliff sits up in disbelief.
Gordon Gould: The winner of this contest, Headmaster Bernard Core!
Cliff looks at Wolf, who looks back with disdain and walks away.
James Eastwood: Cliff grabbed the bottom rope and the ref’s count should have stopped there, but the ref didn’t see it and he didn’t see Wolf pull Cliff’s hand off of the rope. This crowd is having none of this, and nor should they!
Fans begin throwing trash into the ring. Cliff of Doom argues with the ref, motioning that he had his hand on the rope. Wolf enters the ring and stands across from Core. He looks at him emotionlessly. Core, on the other hand, is shocked by Wolf’s assist and smiles disbelievingly
Bernard Core: Was that your plan the whole time? That was brilliant!
He hugs Wolf. Wolf doesn’t immediately hug back, but he eventually, and maybe unwillingly, does.
The standings graphic appears on screen.
James Eastwood: You know, I don’t know if Wolf was just trying to lull Cliff into a false sense of security by not interfering in most of the match or if his interference at the end was just a spur of the moment decision to save his job. Either way, he cost Cliff the match and gave his Headmaster the win.
Core lifts Wolf’s hand up in the air and points at him. Wolf looks down to the ground before looking back up at the fans. His countenance suggests that he doesn’t know if he made the right decision. Cliff sees the celebration happening across the ring from him and orders Gordon Gould to give him a microphone. He gets the mic and puts it up to his mouth.
Cliff of Doom: Hey!
The music stops and the Core Institute turns around.
Cliff walks right up to Wolf.
Cliff of Doom: You know, Wolf, you had me their for a second. I thought you had turned a corner, but it turns out that you’re still just Bernard Core’s BITCH.
He throws the mic to the ground. He and Wolf go chest to chest and nose to nose, growling obscenities at each other. The fans are clamoring for a fight between the two. From behind, however, Bernard Core clips Cliff right behind his injured knee. Cliff falls to one knee. Core shouts to Wolf.
Bernard Core: Do it! DO IT!
Wolf hesitates. He looks back and forth wildy between Core and Cliff. Finally, he clocks Cliff upside his head with a running boot.
James Eastwood: My God! What a shot!
Wolf stands over Cliff for a few seconds and stares at him before he starts to leave the ring, but Core grabs his arm. Wolf looks back at him. Core wags his finger in front of Wolf’s face. Core holds out his left arm and taps it with his finger. Everybody in the arena knows what this means.
James Eastwood: Oh, come on! No! Is this necessary? You two have done enough!
Wolf looks back at Cliff and breathes heavily. He walks backwards towards the corner, all the while hastily ripping off his jacket, his vest, and tie. He unbuttons his top two buttons and rocks back and forth, holding the top rope as the Headmaster gets Cliff to his feet.
Bernard Core: Are you ready?!
Wolf, staring wide eyed at Cliff, nods his head. Core pushes Cliff towards Wolf and Wolf mauls him with Detention. The force sends Cliff corkscrewing in to the air.
Crowd: OOOOO!
Core laughs maniacally as he pats Wolf on the shoulder. Wolf looks down on Cliff with a hellish and euphoric look on his face, as if putting Cliff down was something that he had desired for a long time. Core kneels down next to Cliff.
Bernard Core: You see what I mean, Cliff?! This is what you get for sticking your nose in our business! You could have joined us! You could have been one of us, but you had to be a hero! Look what kind of hero you are now!
The crowd boos mercilessly at the display in the ring. Core stands up and pats Wolf on the shoulder again, signalling that it’s time to leave. The step out of the ring and Core looks into the camera.
Bernard Core: I love it! I love it!
James Eastwood: What a reprehensible human being Bernard Core is, but you can’t deny he got his way tonight. He cost Biff Mustache a victory and defeated Cliff of Doom. Is it going to be like this the rest of the tournament? Is he going to cheat and buy his way to the Sixth Dimension Championship? We’ll see next week as this tournament rolls on. For Sylvia Evergreen and Alamo Franklin, I’m James Eastwood. Goodnight, everyone.
James can’t even sound like his jovial self as he signs off. Referees come out to check on Cliff of Doom. We get one final shot of the Core Institute, with Bernard Core still laughing, looking back at the scene in the ring as they walk back up Core’s ramp.
