Post by Dean Wolf on Jul 16, 2018 20:44:27 GMT -5
The title sequence of the show plays and we cut to a shot of the Sixth Dimension Arena. Pyro goes off one by one from each entrance ramp. The cameras pan the audience. Some fans are cheering, some are screaming into the camera, and some are holding signs for their favorite Sixth Dimension wrestlers. A camera gets a shot of one sign that reads “Cernard Bore.” “The Heretic Anthem” by Slipknot plays throughout this introduction.
James Eastwood: Four men have attained a victory while the other two are still looking for their first! Will they finally get one tonight here in the Sixth Dimension?
James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin are shown at their broadcast table.
James Eastwood: Hello, everyone, and welcome to week 3 of The Sixth Dimension tournament! I’m James Eastwood and alongside me is my broadcast colleague, the legendary Alamo Franklin.
Alamo Franklin: Howdy.
James Eastwood: Last week, we saw Dean Wolf proudly represent The Core Institute as he defeated Biff Mustache. This week, Bernard Core is looking to do the same against the young man from Mustache Manor.
Alamo Franklin: That’s right, and Dean Wolf sure put Biff through the ringer.
James Eastwood: Indeed he did, as Biff suffered bruised ribs during the match, an injury that I’m sure the Headmaster will exploit tonight.
Alamo Franklin: If he’s as smart as he says he is, that’s exactly what he’s gonna do, but don’t sell Biff short. The kid showed me last week that he’s a fighter. He toughed it out as long as he could last week and I know he’s gonna tough it out again this week. I think it’s a long shot that he’ll win tonight, but it ain’t nowhere near impossible.
James Eastwood: We’ll find out in our main event, but right now, let’s go to the ring for our opening contest.
“Some Nights” by fun plays. The crowd (sans the SUNY Cortland Social Justice Club, who’s still in the back row) boos Caleb Ronan as he steps into the arena. He’s holding his phone in one hand and a microphone in the other. He stops at the top of his ramp, takes a selfie, and looks to be posting it to some social media website.
Alamo Franklin: Why is he taking a picture of himself before a match?
Caleb looks up from his phone. Alamo’s voice grows more agitated.
Alamo Franklin: Oh, I’m glad he could join the rest of us here in the arena.
James Eastwood: Alamo, you’re turning red.
Before Gordon Gould has a chance to announce Caleb, he’s cut off.
Caleb Ronan: Cut the music!
The music shuts off, which makes the “boos” even more prominent.
Alamo Franklin: Aw hell, is this kid gonna talk again? I’ve had enough of this bullshit! I’m puttin’ an end to it right now!
We hear the sound of Alamo taking off his headset and throwing it down on the table. The camera gets a shot of Alamo shooting up out of his seat. He marches away from the table and heads toward the ring attendant.
James Eastwood: Alamo, where are you going?! We have a show to call!
Alamo grabs a microphone out of the ring attendant’s hand while Caleb continues.
Caleb Ronan: You know, I can’t belie---
Alamo Franklin: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Caleb is stunned by the interruption.
Alamo Franklin: Ain’t nobody want to hear your god damn opinion!
The crowd agrees.
Alamo Franklin: People came here to see you wrestle, so put the goddamn microphone down, put the cell phone away, get in the ring, and get ready for your god damn match!
The crowd pops. Caleb looks completely taken aback and disgusted.
Caleb Ronan: Who do you think you are?! I’m Caleb Ronan! I have an opinion and everybody here needs to hear it, including you, you red-state backwoods hick!
The crowd boos Caleb again, as if the sound of his voice brings about a Pavlovian response from the crowd to hate him.
Alamo Franklin: Well, I want to know how you’re gonna spout your opinions with my god damn fist down your throat?
The crowd endorses Alamo’s suggestion.
Caleb walks towards Alamo and gets right up in his face.
Caleb Ronan: Now you listen to me, you privileged white male asshole!
Crowd: Ooooooo!
Caleb Ronan: If you even think about touching me, I’ll have you fired immediately! And trust me, I know how to get people fired. When I was the head of the SUNY Cortland Social Justice Club, we got every professor who violated our safe space fired. We even got the president of the college fired just because we could! So if you even think about touch---
Alamo clocks Caleb with a sudden open hand smack right across the face. The audience explodes. Caleb collapses to the ground
James Eastwood: Whoa!
Alamo throws the mic down and goes back to his position at the broadcast table. He puts his headset back on.
James Eastwood: Alamo, why did you do that? He said he was going to get you fired if you hit him!
Alamo Franklin: Maybe he will and maybe he won’t. I’ve been fired by plenty of promoters. What’s one more? All I know is that this thing here is reality.
He points to his open palm.
Alamo Franklin: And I just smacked him with it. Maybe when he comes to, he’ll join the rest of us adults in the real world.
“SO SEEK THE WOLF IN THYSELF!”
“Of Wolf and Man” by Metallica plays as Dean Wolf enters the arena by himself. He does not stop to look at the crowd but rather stomps down to the ring. The fans still boo and howl at the same ratio as last week.
James Eastwood: Well, before that happens, he has to get through Wolf first. Or should I say, he has to SURVIVE Wolf first.
Gordon Gould: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, representing The Core Institution, from Albany, NY, weighing in at 220 pounds, Dean Wolf!
James Eastwood: You can see that Dean Wolf is not being accompanied to the ring by Bernard Core. I can only imagine that’s because Core is getting ready for his match with Biff Mustache.
Wolf enters the ring. He walks across it and peers over the top rope to get a look at Caleb’s prone body. The ref orders him to back up into his corner. Wolf gives the ref the double bird before moving away. The music stops. We get a shot of Caleb, who is slowly regaining consciousness. He shakes his head to get the cobwebs out.
James Eastwood: He did not move during Wolf’s entire entrance. You really walloped him there, Alamo. Remind me to never get you angry.
Alamo Franklin: You just do your job and call the matches and you and I will never have a problem.
James Eastwood: You don’t have to tell me twice.
The ref gets out of the ring and bends down towards Caleb. The camera picks up his words.
Ref: Caleb, you have to get in the ring or you’re going to forfeit the match.
The ref rolls back into the ring. Wolf tries to move back across the ring but the ref stops him.
Caleb grasps the ring skirt and gradually pulls himself to his feet. When he gets upright, he feels a little dizzy and keeps hold of the ring apron, all the while holding his head.
James Eastwood: If I were in Caleb’s position and I knew that Wolf was waiting for me, I’d just go to the back and call it a day.
Caleb now grabs the second rope and pulls himself up at an agonizingly slow pace. He gets his knee on the apron but it slips and he almost falls on his ass. Some people in the crowd laugh at his pathetic efforts. He steadies himself. Instead of climbing onto the apron, he crawls under the bottom rope with all the quickness of a sloth.
Alamo Franklin: Oh, come on! Is he serious? I didn’t hit him that hard!
James Eastwood: I don’t know. You pretty much knocked him out.
Alamo Franklin: That was a love tap. I used to hit my opponents harder, and I liked most of those guys! Pussy!
Caleb grabs the rope and begins pulling himself up to his feet. The ref has his arm up in the air waiting to call for the bell to start the match. He rolls his eyes at Caleb’s pace and looks at his watch. Wolf has his eyes locked on Caleb. He snarls heavily just waiting for the signal to pounce on his target. Caleb makes it to one foot.
James Eastwood: I almost feel bad knowing what’s about to happen.
Alamo Franklin: I don’t.
As soon as the bottom of Caleb’s second foot touches the mat, the ref calls for the bell. Wolf walks to the middle of the ring and sets up for the kill. Caleb turns around, barely takes one step forward, and meets Wolf’s patented discus clothesline.
James Eastwood: DETENTION!
Crowd: OOOOH!
Caleb flips backward 270° and lands right on the side of his face. Wolf turns him over and covers him by simply pressing his hands on his chest. The ref counts.
1…
2…
3…
The ref calls for the bell.
Gordon Gould: The winner of this contest, Dean Wolf!
The ref goes to raise Wolf’s hand but he pulls it away and holds up his back hand, threatening to smack the official. Wolf immediately leaves the ring and walks back up his ramp.
James Eastwood: And just like the good protégé that he is, Wolf heads to the back, presumably to be by his Headmaster’s side.
A mix of cheers, boos, and howls accompany Wolf to the back.
James Eastwood: I think some fans appreciate what Wolf just did to Caleb Ronan.
The standings graphic appears on the screen.
James Eastwood: Well, it goes without saying, but Caleb Ronan has lost another one while Wolf is the first man to reach two wins. By the end of the night, Bernard Core could be tied with his dean of discipline while Biff could stay in the cellar with Caleb.
The camera shows Caleb laid out on the mat, the ref trying to revive him. Caleb regains consciousness, shakes his head, and looks over at Alamo. He calls for a mic, which Gordon Gould hands to him. Caleb slowly gets up to his feet as he has his gaze locked on Alamo. He points towards the legend’s way.
Caleb Ronan: You. YOU! You hit me! You ASSAULTED me! I’ve never been treated like this ever in my whole entire life.
Alamo Franklin: No kiddin’. Maybe I did what your daddy should have done a long time ago.
Caleb Ronan: I feel wronged. I feel violated. I'm...I'm...
Caleb’s eye starts to twitch.
Caleb Ronan:...I'M OFFENDED!
The crowd boos.
Caleb Ronan: I’m going to The Handler’s office right now and I’m going to bring him out here; and when I do, you’ll be gone from The Sixth Dimension forever!
He slams the mic down and storms back up his ramp.
Alamo just glares at Caleb as the insufferable hipster heads up his ramp. The camera fades as we go to a commercial break.
We come back to a shot of James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin at the broadcast table.
James Eastwood: Well, it’s certainly been an interesting show to say the least. For those of you just joining us, there was a confrontation between Alamo Franklin and Caleb Ronan before Caleb’s match with Wolf. Take a look at what happened.
A replay shows Alamo smacking Caleb.
James Eastwood: Needless to say, Caleb lost to Wolf. During the break I got word that Caleb Ronan is storming around the arena looking for The Handler so that he can fire Alamo! Well, Alamo, this may be the last time I’m going to see you here in The Sixth Dimension, so I just want to say that it’s been fun calling these matches with you, even if it was only for three weeks.
Alamo shrugs his shoulders.
Alamo Franklin: If that’s the way it goes down, so be it.
James Eastwood: In the meantime, let’s go to Sylvia Evergreen, who’s backstage with Cliff of Doom.
We cut to a shot of Sylvia Evergreen standing with Cliff of Doom in the interview area. The audience cheers as Cliff appears on screen.
Sylvia Evergreen: Thanks, James. Cliff, tonight you’ll be standing in Biff Mustache’s corner once again as he goes up against Headmaster Bernard Core. Last week, you were able to neutralize Core when he tried to interfere in Biff’s match against Dean Wolf. Do you think you’ll be able to do the same to Wolf this week if he tries to get involved on the Headmaster’s behalf?
Cliff of Doom: Absolut---
Out of nowhere, Wolf decks Cliff from behind with a forearm. Cliff immediately falls to the ground. Wolf gets him back up and throws him into some lighting equipment. Some members of the production crew fall to the ground as well. Wolf continues the onslaught by running Cliff into a cement wall. Cliff collapses and Wolf lays into him with rapid fire boots.
Wolf walks off camera and we get a close-up of the pained face on Cliff. The sound of wheels quickly rolling can be heard. The camera zooms out and we see Wolf slamming a gang box into Cliff’s torso. Sylvia shrieks upon impact. Wolf looks back at her and she stares back terrified.
Dean Wolf: Does that answer your question, Sylvia?!
He walks away. Medical personnel arrive on the scene to aid Cliff. We go back to James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin.
James Eastwood: My god, what is going on here tonight? I mean, was that really necessary? Is Bernard Core really that worried about Cliff of Doom that he needed to have Dean Wolf blindside him like that?
Alamo Franklin: Maybe Wolf was just doin’ that of his own accord.
James Eastwood: That may very well be the case. We’re going to head to another commercial before...oh, what is this?!
Caleb Ronan is coming back down his ramp, this time with The Handler, in tow. The crowd showers down boos on Caleb. The Handler looks unenthused about being dragged out into the arena.
James Eastwood: Well, Alamo, I guess this is it.
Alamo Franklin: Yep, I reckon it is, but I’ll take it like a man, unlike this little shit who would probably cry about it.
Caleb takes a microphone from Gordon Gould. Both he and The Handler approach the broadcast table.
James Eastwood: Is this really necessary, Caleb?!
Caleb Ronan: Yes, it is necessary, James, and if you offend me I’ll have you fired, too! Now, fire him, Handler! Do it! Fire him! Do it now! Come on! On the count of three! Ready! 1, 2...do it! Fire him! Now! D---
The Handler rips the microphone out of Caleb’s hand. Caleb is shocked for the moment and then wears a pleased face. He folds his arms, satisfied that he’s going to get his way. The Handler stares at Caleb for a second before turning his attention to Alamo.
The Handler: Alamo, did you slap Caleb Ronan?
Alamo stands up. He nods.
Alamo Franklin: Yes sir, I did.
The Handler pauses briefly before continuing.
The Handler: Okay, well, um…
He looks back at Caleb, who is dripping with smarminess, and then looks back at Alamo.
The Handler: Just don’t do it again.
He drops the mic and walks away. The crowd cheers..
James Eastwood: Alright!
Caleb drops his arms. His mouth is agape. The camera pans over to Alamo Franklin, who is now copying the smug look and body language that Caleb exemplified just one second before. Caleb snatches up the mic.
Caleb Ronan: No! No! This can’t be right! He physically assaulted me! I’m the victim! I’M THE VICTIM! This is egregious! This is..this is...THIS IS NOT FAIR!
He stomps his feet.
Caleb Ronan: I’m going to the World Court about this! I’m going to the UN! They are going to shut this place down faster than….
CROWD: SHUT THE FUCK UP! :clap clap clap clap clap: SHUT THE FUCK UP! :clap clap clap clap clap:
Caleb Ronan: How dare you! Nobody tells me to shut the fuck up! I’m Caleb Ronan! I was the head of the SUNY Cortland Social Justice Club!...I’m...I’m…
Caleb breaks down in tears and scurries away from the ring. The crowd cheers his departure. The camera cuts back to James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin.
James Eastwood: Good for you, man!
They high five each other. Eastwood, in his over enthusiasm, also goes in for a hug but Alamo just sits back down.
James Eastwood: I got it. We’re not there yet. No problem.
He sits back down.
James Eastwood: Whew! Alright, we’re going to reset here on The Sixth Dimension and go to a commercial. When we return, we’ll have our main event, Headmaster Bernard Core vs. Biff Mustache!
We come back to a shot of the arena. “Wing Fortress Zone” by Nasato Nakamura plays. The bell rings. Bernard Core, in his rope and towel around his neck, enters the arena to a chorus of boos with Dean Wolf, who is still in his wrestling gear.
Gordon Gould: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, representing the Core Institute and accompanied by Dean Wolf, from Albany, NY, weighing in at 225 pounds, Headmaster Bernard Core!
Instead of looking at the crowd with disdain as he normally does, Core smiles smugly.
James Eastwood: Look at that grin on his face! He’s so satisfied with what Dean Wolf did to Cliff of Doom. It’d be nice to see that grin knocked off his face somehow. Maybe you should smack him next, Alamo.
Alamo Franklin: Perhaps one day, but he ain’t done pissed me off yet.
Core and Wolf enter the ring. Core takes his robe off and warms up in his corner.
“Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart plays over the speakers as the crowd cheers. Biff comes out, and we immediately see taped ribs under his blue banana hammock. He stands at the top of his ramp with a grave stare fixed on The Core Institute. He walks down to the ring gingerly, trying not to show pain.
James Eastwood: No dancing from Biff tonight. He’s all business. He’s injured, his corner man has been taken out, and with Wolf at ringside, he might as well be entering a handicap match. I didn’t think Biff could be this focused but I was wrong.
Biff cautiously walks up the ring steps. He gets on the apron and climbs through the ropes, taking his eyes off of The Core Institute briefly. Wolf takes a step forward. Biff sees this in his peripheral vision, which causes him to step back onto the apron.
Alamo Franklin: That ain’t fear, that’s being alert.
Wolf and Core laugh as Biff grimaces. He attempts to step into the ring again, this time making it in without any interference. He stands across from Wolf and Core, trying not to put himself in a position to be attacked.
The music stops. Wolf walks towards Biff but the referee stands in his way and orders him out of the ring. Wolf waves at Biff disingenuously before exiting to the floor. The ref calls for the bell.
James Eastwood: Alright, moment-of-truth time for Biff Mustache.
Core and Biff circle each other. They both set up as if they’re going to engage in a collar and elbow tie up. Biff charges but Core knees him in the gut.
Core deadlifts Biff and throws him with a gutwrench suplex. He picks the wounded Mustache up again and repeats the move again. Biff grabs the ropes to lift himself up but Core keeps him down with knee drops to the ribs.
James Eastwood: Those knees must feel like sledgehammer shots!
Alamo Franklin: Pretty much.
Core picks up Biff and launches him across the ring with a fallaway slam. Biff rolls towards the ropes for safety, but Core walks over to him and stomps him until he falls off the apron and down to the floor.
Core tries to crawl through the ropes but the ref stops him. Core continues to try and exit the ring but the ref continues to prevent him from leaving. With the ref distracted, Wolf stomps on Biff and then scoops him up for a bodyslam to the floor.
James Eastwood: They’re pulling the same nonsense as last week. Come on, ref, do your job!
The ref turns around and sees Wolf near Biff. He leaves Core to go yell at him, allowing Core to make his way to the outside. He gets Biff to his feet and slams him into the guardrail back first over and over again. The look on Biff’s face with each collision is pained. When Core finally finishes, Biff falls to his knees and down on his face. Core bows to the crowd, who let him hear their displeasure.
James Eastwood: And to no one’s surprise, the crowd boos Bernard Core.
Core gets back in the ring and allows the ref to make a 10 count on the beaten Biff.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
6…
7…
Biff gets to his feet and makes it onto the apron.
Alamo Franklin: You know, Biff ain’t no genius, but the difference between him and Caleb is that this kid will get up and keep fightin’ even when he probably shouldn’t. That’s called heart. That’s what being a man is all about. This kid’s earned my respect.
Core walks towards Biff but Biff checks him in the gut with his shoulder. Core is bent over as Biff slingshots himself over the top rope and brings Core down with a sunset flip pin attempt.
1…
2…
Core escapes the pin. Biff is slow to get up, which allows Core to shoot up to his feet, run over to Biff, trap him, and send him down to the mat with a side belly to belly suplex. He gets up, climbs to the second rope, and falls to the mat, connecting with a headbutt. Biff writhes in pain as Core goes for the pin.
1…
2…
Biff kicks out. Core immediately grabs Biff in a chinlock.
The crowd claps to motivate Biff. He gets to his feet and gets off some elbows into Core’s stomach, but the comeback is stopped short when Core throws Biff back into the corner. Biff almost collapses but he holds on to the top rope.
James Eastwood: Biff is doing everything in his power to keep himself up.
Alamo Franklin: You can’t be pinned if you’re on your legs.
James Eastwood: And Bernard Core can’t put on that devastating Headmaster Lock as easily if Biff stays vertical; but still, how long can he hold on?
Core chops Biff’s chest a few times before Irish whipping him into the opposite corner. The force of the whip is so powerful that Biff instantly falls face first to the mat as soon his back hits the corner.
Core cockily walks toward Biff. Biff pushes himself up and grabs Core’s legs, trying to pull himself up. Core just laughs at the pathetic attempt to get up.
Core gutwrenches Biff and lifts him up for an overhead backbreaker rack. He holds the torturous move for a few seconds before driving Biff to the mat with a Dominator. He covers.
1…
2…
Biff kicks out. Core picks him up by the hair and locks him into an abdominal stretch. Biff screams out in agony as the move stretches his injured ribs. To add insult to injury, Core smacks the ribs, causing louder yells from Biff. While the ref asks Biff if he submits, Core holds out his free hand, allowing Wolf to pull on it, giving the Headmaster extra leverage. Biff wails as the Core Institute’s hijinks cause more pain.
James Eastwood: You know, if Biff loses this match, maybe Wolf and Core should just split the win in the standings!
The ref goes to check if Core is cheating, but Wolf lets go of his hand before the ref can catch the two in the act. The ref turns his attention back to Biff and the Core Institute go back to their cheating ways. With Biff yelling again, the ref checks for cheating, but the Institute thwarts his efforts for a second time. He returns to Biff, and Wolf grabs a hold of Core again. This time, the ref catches it and kicks both men’s hands to get them to release each other. The crowd cheers the ref’s assertiveness.
James Eastwood: Finally!
Wolf hops up on to the apron and begins yelling at the ref. Core lets go of Biff and yells at the ref as well. Wolf continues to argue as Core walks back towards Biff, who low blows his opponent. The crowd pops.
James Eastwood: That was a desperation move by Biff!
Alamo Franklin: Sometimes ya gotta fight dirty when the chips are down.
James Eastwood: With all the interference by Wolf, I’d say that evened the playing field a little bit.
Core’s knees begin to buckle as he holds his groin. Biff grabs him by the trunks and pulls him face first into the second turnbuckle.
Core struggles to get to his feet. When he does, he turns around and is met with a corner enzuigiri by Biff. Core falls to the mat like a sack of potatoes.
Biff drapes Core’s chest over the second rope. He runs across the ring, comes off the opposite ropes, and jumps on Core with a leapfrog body guillotine. He bounces up and down on Core’s back, very satisfied to humiliate the self-professed intellectual leader in this way. Wolf goes nuts with rage on the outside.
Alamo Franklin: C’mon, kid! Don’t play around! Keep at him!
Biff gets Core to his feet and chops his chest before sending him off the ropes. Core reverses the Irish whip and bends down. Biff leapfrogs over him, comes off the opposite ropes, and is scooped up by Core. However, Biff counters it with a headscissors takedown. Core quickly gets up but Biff sends him flying into the corner with a dropkick. Biff gets up and holds his ribs but lets out a growl to psych himself and the crowd up. He runs towards Core and hits an elbow smash and seamlessly grabs Core in a headlock. He runs to the middle of the ring and jumps in the air to land a bulldog. However, Core catches Biff and throws him into the corner, causing his legs to get hooked onto the top rope, leaving him in the tree of woe.
James Eastwood: This is not a good position for Biff to be in.
Core relentlessly stomps on Biff until the ref finally forces him out of the corner. Core and the ref argue while Wolf grabs Biff around the throat and pulls back. The crowd gets louder, trying to alert the ref of the cheating in the corner.
The ref turns around, but Wolf lets go right before the ref can catch him. He orders Wolf away from the corner. Meanwhile, Core unhooks Biff’s legs. Biff lands on his stomach. Core clutches Biff around the waist and hoists him up in the air for a German suplex. He holds on and hits another German suplex, followed by another rolling German. The fourth suplex ends up being a release German.
James Eastwood: I don’t know how Biff can go on any longer.
Core looks at the crowd and makes a throat cutting gesture with his thumb.
Core sets up Biff for a powerbomb.
He gets Biff up onto his shoulders, but Biff rains down right hands on Core’s head. Core moves towards the rope to dumb Biff out of the ring, but Biff catches the top rope and hurricanranas Biff out of the ring. Both men go crashing down to the outside mat.
James Eastwood: That was another desperation move by Biff.
Alamo Franklin: Yeah, but this one took somethin’ out of Biff, too.
The ref starts a 10 count.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
6…
Biff gets to his feet first. Holding his ribs, he climbs up on to the apron. The ref implores him to get back into the ring, but Biff walks toward the ring post. Core gets to his feet and turns around. Biff runs towards him and attempts a punt kick, but Core sweeps the leg, causing Biff to spill back first onto the apron. Upon impact, he falls to the floor.
The ref is yelling at Core to bring the match back into the ring, but he ignores the ref and back body drops Biff right onto the apron, his ribs taking the majority of the crash.
James Eastwood: A Uniplex onto the apron! I wouldn’t be surprised if Biff doesn’t get up this time.
Core shouts at the ref.
Bernard Core: Now I’ll come back in!
Alamo Franklin: I don’t think Biff’s going to have to worry about getting himself back up.
Core rolls Biff back into the ring, wasting no time getting in himself. He grabs Biff by the foot and drags him into the middle of the ring so Biff can’t break any hold. Core drapes the left leg over his neck, turns Biff onto his stomach, and buries his knee into the base of Biff’s spine.
James Eastwood: HEADMASTER LOCK! Biff has got to tap out here if he wants to have any more of a career in professional wrestling!
Alamo Franklin: But he ain’t going to. His heart is bigger than his brain!
Biff yells out in pain. He tries to move towards the ropes but he has been rendered immobile. He holds his hand up in the air, signalling that he may tap, but turns it into a fist. He tries to push the fist up against the mat to push himself up, but it’s of no use. He buries his face in his hand, trying to outlast the punishment, keeping some sliver of hope that somehow, someway, he can get out of this brutal submission hold.
Suddenly, the crowd begins to stir.
James Eastwood: Hey, Alamo, look! It’s Cliff of Doom!
The camera shows Cliff of Doom coming down his ramp, limping but clearly on the warpath. Core sees Cliff and is shocked that he’s even upright. Core looks to Wolf and points towards Cliff. Wolf runs towards Cliff and the two begin trading blows. The crowd has become unglued.
They go back and forth with punches until Cliff kicks Wolf in the gut. He lifts him up and hits a gourdbuster GTS. The crowd pops.
Alamo Franklin: What the hell was that move?!
James Eastwood: He calls that the Doomerang!
Wolf is out on the ramp. Core releases the Headmaster Lock and starts screaming at Cliff from inside the ring. Cliff stands his ground, motioning for Core to come outside the ring and take him on. Core steps through the ropes with one leg, but he stops, reconsiders, and steps back into the ring. He points at Cliff and shouts a warning at him. He walks back towards Biff and bends down to grab his leg, but Biff grabs Core instead.
James Eastwood: Small package!
The ref counts.
1…
2…
3…
The crowd erupts in joy at the upset victory. “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” plays. Core sits up and can’t believe what just happened.
Gordon Gould: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest, Biff Mustache!
Biff rolls out of the ring and is met by Cliff, who helps him off the apron. Cliff hugs him and raises his hand.
James Eastwood: He did it! He did it, injured ribs and all!
Alamo Franklin: I gotta tip my hat to this kid! What a way to hang in there!
The standings graphic appears on the screen.
James Eastwood: Even after all his machinations, Bernard Core ends up with a loss while Biff Mustache gains his first victory!
The two friends walk backwards up Biff’s ramp, their arms around each other. They wave to Core, who is still stunned and sitting in the ring. He looks at his adversaries wide eyed, his mouth slightly open in shock.
As Cliff and Biff exit the arena, Core leaves the ring and walks over to Wolf, who is recovering on the ramp. He yells at Wolf, clearly disgusted with his Dean’s failure to neutralize Cliff and secure him a victory. He leaves Wolf behind, not even helping his subordinate to his feet. Wolf watches Core walk away, ashamed and frustrated with himself.
James Eastwood: I understand we are going to go to Sylvia Evergreen, who’s going to try and get a word with Headmaster Bernard Core.
We cut to Bernard Core tossing the curtain out of his way as he enters the backstage area. Sylvia Evergreen runs up to him.
Sylvia Evergreen: Headmaster Core, can we get your reaction to what just happened in the ring?
Bernard Core: You want my reaction?! Here’s my reaction! Some retail store loser distracted me when I had victory in the palm of my hand, I was pinned by a retard who probably can’t even tie his own shoes, and to top it all off, my trusted Dean of Discipline failed to ensure me a win! I’ve been made to look like a fool in front of the entire world! I---
Someone off camera is wailing. The camera quickly pans over to Caleb Ronan, who is sitting on a crate with his face buried in his hands while he cries.
Bernard Core: Hey! Can’t you see I’m being interviewed?!
Caleb continues to cry.
Bernard Core: What the hell is wrong with you?! Whatever it is, it’s not as bad as what I just went through! Did you see what just happened to me out there?!
Caleb takes his hands away from his face.
Caleb Ronan: I was assaulted by Alamo Franklin and nobody is doing a thing about it! Everyone in the crowd hates me, I’m getting trolled all over social media, and I can’t win a match! I’m not even good at being a millennial hipster who fights for social justice! I spent three months in the WCF and went nowhere and then Sydney J. Warwick comes in, doing MY GIMMICK, and wins War and the World Heavyweight Championship in his rookie year! What’s the point of living?! Maybe I should just end it all right now!!!
Caleb goes back to crying into his hands. All of a sudden, a look comes over Core’s face as if a light bulb just went off over his head. He smiles wickedly. He talks to Caleb with a reassuring tone.
Bernard Core: All’s not lost, Caleb. Maybe there’s something you can do for me. C’mon, let’s go talk in my dressing room.
Caleb looks up from his hands, a little confused.
Caleb Ronan: Um, o-ok.
Core puts his arm around Caleb and the two walk off camera. The camera turns back to Sylvia.
Sylvia Evergreen: What was that all about?
She looks off camera at Core and Caleb walking away while the show fades to black.
James Eastwood: Four men have attained a victory while the other two are still looking for their first! Will they finally get one tonight here in the Sixth Dimension?
James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin are shown at their broadcast table.
James Eastwood: Hello, everyone, and welcome to week 3 of The Sixth Dimension tournament! I’m James Eastwood and alongside me is my broadcast colleague, the legendary Alamo Franklin.
Alamo Franklin: Howdy.
James Eastwood: Last week, we saw Dean Wolf proudly represent The Core Institute as he defeated Biff Mustache. This week, Bernard Core is looking to do the same against the young man from Mustache Manor.
Alamo Franklin: That’s right, and Dean Wolf sure put Biff through the ringer.
James Eastwood: Indeed he did, as Biff suffered bruised ribs during the match, an injury that I’m sure the Headmaster will exploit tonight.
Alamo Franklin: If he’s as smart as he says he is, that’s exactly what he’s gonna do, but don’t sell Biff short. The kid showed me last week that he’s a fighter. He toughed it out as long as he could last week and I know he’s gonna tough it out again this week. I think it’s a long shot that he’ll win tonight, but it ain’t nowhere near impossible.
James Eastwood: We’ll find out in our main event, but right now, let’s go to the ring for our opening contest.
“Some Nights” by fun plays. The crowd (sans the SUNY Cortland Social Justice Club, who’s still in the back row) boos Caleb Ronan as he steps into the arena. He’s holding his phone in one hand and a microphone in the other. He stops at the top of his ramp, takes a selfie, and looks to be posting it to some social media website.
Alamo Franklin: Why is he taking a picture of himself before a match?
Caleb looks up from his phone. Alamo’s voice grows more agitated.
Alamo Franklin: Oh, I’m glad he could join the rest of us here in the arena.
James Eastwood: Alamo, you’re turning red.
Before Gordon Gould has a chance to announce Caleb, he’s cut off.
Caleb Ronan: Cut the music!
The music shuts off, which makes the “boos” even more prominent.
Alamo Franklin: Aw hell, is this kid gonna talk again? I’ve had enough of this bullshit! I’m puttin’ an end to it right now!
We hear the sound of Alamo taking off his headset and throwing it down on the table. The camera gets a shot of Alamo shooting up out of his seat. He marches away from the table and heads toward the ring attendant.
James Eastwood: Alamo, where are you going?! We have a show to call!
Alamo grabs a microphone out of the ring attendant’s hand while Caleb continues.
Caleb Ronan: You know, I can’t belie---
Alamo Franklin: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Caleb is stunned by the interruption.
Alamo Franklin: Ain’t nobody want to hear your god damn opinion!
The crowd agrees.
Alamo Franklin: People came here to see you wrestle, so put the goddamn microphone down, put the cell phone away, get in the ring, and get ready for your god damn match!
The crowd pops. Caleb looks completely taken aback and disgusted.
Caleb Ronan: Who do you think you are?! I’m Caleb Ronan! I have an opinion and everybody here needs to hear it, including you, you red-state backwoods hick!
The crowd boos Caleb again, as if the sound of his voice brings about a Pavlovian response from the crowd to hate him.
Alamo Franklin: Well, I want to know how you’re gonna spout your opinions with my god damn fist down your throat?
The crowd endorses Alamo’s suggestion.
Caleb walks towards Alamo and gets right up in his face.
Caleb Ronan: Now you listen to me, you privileged white male asshole!
Crowd: Ooooooo!
Caleb Ronan: If you even think about touching me, I’ll have you fired immediately! And trust me, I know how to get people fired. When I was the head of the SUNY Cortland Social Justice Club, we got every professor who violated our safe space fired. We even got the president of the college fired just because we could! So if you even think about touch---
Alamo clocks Caleb with a sudden open hand smack right across the face. The audience explodes. Caleb collapses to the ground
James Eastwood: Whoa!
Alamo throws the mic down and goes back to his position at the broadcast table. He puts his headset back on.
James Eastwood: Alamo, why did you do that? He said he was going to get you fired if you hit him!
Alamo Franklin: Maybe he will and maybe he won’t. I’ve been fired by plenty of promoters. What’s one more? All I know is that this thing here is reality.
He points to his open palm.
Alamo Franklin: And I just smacked him with it. Maybe when he comes to, he’ll join the rest of us adults in the real world.
“SO SEEK THE WOLF IN THYSELF!”
“Of Wolf and Man” by Metallica plays as Dean Wolf enters the arena by himself. He does not stop to look at the crowd but rather stomps down to the ring. The fans still boo and howl at the same ratio as last week.
James Eastwood: Well, before that happens, he has to get through Wolf first. Or should I say, he has to SURVIVE Wolf first.
Gordon Gould: This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, representing The Core Institution, from Albany, NY, weighing in at 220 pounds, Dean Wolf!
James Eastwood: You can see that Dean Wolf is not being accompanied to the ring by Bernard Core. I can only imagine that’s because Core is getting ready for his match with Biff Mustache.
Wolf enters the ring. He walks across it and peers over the top rope to get a look at Caleb’s prone body. The ref orders him to back up into his corner. Wolf gives the ref the double bird before moving away. The music stops. We get a shot of Caleb, who is slowly regaining consciousness. He shakes his head to get the cobwebs out.
James Eastwood: He did not move during Wolf’s entire entrance. You really walloped him there, Alamo. Remind me to never get you angry.
Alamo Franklin: You just do your job and call the matches and you and I will never have a problem.
James Eastwood: You don’t have to tell me twice.
The ref gets out of the ring and bends down towards Caleb. The camera picks up his words.
Ref: Caleb, you have to get in the ring or you’re going to forfeit the match.
The ref rolls back into the ring. Wolf tries to move back across the ring but the ref stops him.
Caleb grasps the ring skirt and gradually pulls himself to his feet. When he gets upright, he feels a little dizzy and keeps hold of the ring apron, all the while holding his head.
James Eastwood: If I were in Caleb’s position and I knew that Wolf was waiting for me, I’d just go to the back and call it a day.
Caleb now grabs the second rope and pulls himself up at an agonizingly slow pace. He gets his knee on the apron but it slips and he almost falls on his ass. Some people in the crowd laugh at his pathetic efforts. He steadies himself. Instead of climbing onto the apron, he crawls under the bottom rope with all the quickness of a sloth.
Alamo Franklin: Oh, come on! Is he serious? I didn’t hit him that hard!
James Eastwood: I don’t know. You pretty much knocked him out.
Alamo Franklin: That was a love tap. I used to hit my opponents harder, and I liked most of those guys! Pussy!
Caleb grabs the rope and begins pulling himself up to his feet. The ref has his arm up in the air waiting to call for the bell to start the match. He rolls his eyes at Caleb’s pace and looks at his watch. Wolf has his eyes locked on Caleb. He snarls heavily just waiting for the signal to pounce on his target. Caleb makes it to one foot.
James Eastwood: I almost feel bad knowing what’s about to happen.
Alamo Franklin: I don’t.
As soon as the bottom of Caleb’s second foot touches the mat, the ref calls for the bell. Wolf walks to the middle of the ring and sets up for the kill. Caleb turns around, barely takes one step forward, and meets Wolf’s patented discus clothesline.
James Eastwood: DETENTION!
Crowd: OOOOH!
Caleb flips backward 270° and lands right on the side of his face. Wolf turns him over and covers him by simply pressing his hands on his chest. The ref counts.
1…
2…
3…
The ref calls for the bell.
Gordon Gould: The winner of this contest, Dean Wolf!
The ref goes to raise Wolf’s hand but he pulls it away and holds up his back hand, threatening to smack the official. Wolf immediately leaves the ring and walks back up his ramp.
James Eastwood: And just like the good protégé that he is, Wolf heads to the back, presumably to be by his Headmaster’s side.
A mix of cheers, boos, and howls accompany Wolf to the back.
James Eastwood: I think some fans appreciate what Wolf just did to Caleb Ronan.
The standings graphic appears on the screen.
James Eastwood: Well, it goes without saying, but Caleb Ronan has lost another one while Wolf is the first man to reach two wins. By the end of the night, Bernard Core could be tied with his dean of discipline while Biff could stay in the cellar with Caleb.
The camera shows Caleb laid out on the mat, the ref trying to revive him. Caleb regains consciousness, shakes his head, and looks over at Alamo. He calls for a mic, which Gordon Gould hands to him. Caleb slowly gets up to his feet as he has his gaze locked on Alamo. He points towards the legend’s way.
Caleb Ronan: You. YOU! You hit me! You ASSAULTED me! I’ve never been treated like this ever in my whole entire life.
Alamo Franklin: No kiddin’. Maybe I did what your daddy should have done a long time ago.
Caleb Ronan: I feel wronged. I feel violated. I'm...I'm...
Caleb’s eye starts to twitch.
Caleb Ronan:...I'M OFFENDED!
The crowd boos.
Caleb Ronan: I’m going to The Handler’s office right now and I’m going to bring him out here; and when I do, you’ll be gone from The Sixth Dimension forever!
He slams the mic down and storms back up his ramp.
Alamo just glares at Caleb as the insufferable hipster heads up his ramp. The camera fades as we go to a commercial break.
We come back to a shot of James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin at the broadcast table.
James Eastwood: Well, it’s certainly been an interesting show to say the least. For those of you just joining us, there was a confrontation between Alamo Franklin and Caleb Ronan before Caleb’s match with Wolf. Take a look at what happened.
A replay shows Alamo smacking Caleb.
James Eastwood: Needless to say, Caleb lost to Wolf. During the break I got word that Caleb Ronan is storming around the arena looking for The Handler so that he can fire Alamo! Well, Alamo, this may be the last time I’m going to see you here in The Sixth Dimension, so I just want to say that it’s been fun calling these matches with you, even if it was only for three weeks.
Alamo shrugs his shoulders.
Alamo Franklin: If that’s the way it goes down, so be it.
James Eastwood: In the meantime, let’s go to Sylvia Evergreen, who’s backstage with Cliff of Doom.
We cut to a shot of Sylvia Evergreen standing with Cliff of Doom in the interview area. The audience cheers as Cliff appears on screen.
Sylvia Evergreen: Thanks, James. Cliff, tonight you’ll be standing in Biff Mustache’s corner once again as he goes up against Headmaster Bernard Core. Last week, you were able to neutralize Core when he tried to interfere in Biff’s match against Dean Wolf. Do you think you’ll be able to do the same to Wolf this week if he tries to get involved on the Headmaster’s behalf?
Cliff of Doom: Absolut---
Out of nowhere, Wolf decks Cliff from behind with a forearm. Cliff immediately falls to the ground. Wolf gets him back up and throws him into some lighting equipment. Some members of the production crew fall to the ground as well. Wolf continues the onslaught by running Cliff into a cement wall. Cliff collapses and Wolf lays into him with rapid fire boots.
Wolf walks off camera and we get a close-up of the pained face on Cliff. The sound of wheels quickly rolling can be heard. The camera zooms out and we see Wolf slamming a gang box into Cliff’s torso. Sylvia shrieks upon impact. Wolf looks back at her and she stares back terrified.
Dean Wolf: Does that answer your question, Sylvia?!
He walks away. Medical personnel arrive on the scene to aid Cliff. We go back to James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin.
James Eastwood: My god, what is going on here tonight? I mean, was that really necessary? Is Bernard Core really that worried about Cliff of Doom that he needed to have Dean Wolf blindside him like that?
Alamo Franklin: Maybe Wolf was just doin’ that of his own accord.
James Eastwood: That may very well be the case. We’re going to head to another commercial before...oh, what is this?!
Caleb Ronan is coming back down his ramp, this time with The Handler, in tow. The crowd showers down boos on Caleb. The Handler looks unenthused about being dragged out into the arena.
James Eastwood: Well, Alamo, I guess this is it.
Alamo Franklin: Yep, I reckon it is, but I’ll take it like a man, unlike this little shit who would probably cry about it.
Caleb takes a microphone from Gordon Gould. Both he and The Handler approach the broadcast table.
James Eastwood: Is this really necessary, Caleb?!
Caleb Ronan: Yes, it is necessary, James, and if you offend me I’ll have you fired, too! Now, fire him, Handler! Do it! Fire him! Do it now! Come on! On the count of three! Ready! 1, 2...do it! Fire him! Now! D---
The Handler rips the microphone out of Caleb’s hand. Caleb is shocked for the moment and then wears a pleased face. He folds his arms, satisfied that he’s going to get his way. The Handler stares at Caleb for a second before turning his attention to Alamo.
The Handler: Alamo, did you slap Caleb Ronan?
Alamo stands up. He nods.
Alamo Franklin: Yes sir, I did.
The Handler pauses briefly before continuing.
The Handler: Okay, well, um…
He looks back at Caleb, who is dripping with smarminess, and then looks back at Alamo.
The Handler: Just don’t do it again.
He drops the mic and walks away. The crowd cheers..
James Eastwood: Alright!
Caleb drops his arms. His mouth is agape. The camera pans over to Alamo Franklin, who is now copying the smug look and body language that Caleb exemplified just one second before. Caleb snatches up the mic.
Caleb Ronan: No! No! This can’t be right! He physically assaulted me! I’m the victim! I’M THE VICTIM! This is egregious! This is..this is...THIS IS NOT FAIR!
He stomps his feet.
Caleb Ronan: I’m going to the World Court about this! I’m going to the UN! They are going to shut this place down faster than….
CROWD: SHUT THE FUCK UP! :clap clap clap clap clap: SHUT THE FUCK UP! :clap clap clap clap clap:
Caleb Ronan: How dare you! Nobody tells me to shut the fuck up! I’m Caleb Ronan! I was the head of the SUNY Cortland Social Justice Club!...I’m...I’m…
Caleb breaks down in tears and scurries away from the ring. The crowd cheers his departure. The camera cuts back to James Eastwood and Alamo Franklin.
James Eastwood: Good for you, man!
They high five each other. Eastwood, in his over enthusiasm, also goes in for a hug but Alamo just sits back down.
James Eastwood: I got it. We’re not there yet. No problem.
He sits back down.
James Eastwood: Whew! Alright, we’re going to reset here on The Sixth Dimension and go to a commercial. When we return, we’ll have our main event, Headmaster Bernard Core vs. Biff Mustache!
We come back to a shot of the arena. “Wing Fortress Zone” by Nasato Nakamura plays. The bell rings. Bernard Core, in his rope and towel around his neck, enters the arena to a chorus of boos with Dean Wolf, who is still in his wrestling gear.
Gordon Gould: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, representing the Core Institute and accompanied by Dean Wolf, from Albany, NY, weighing in at 225 pounds, Headmaster Bernard Core!
Instead of looking at the crowd with disdain as he normally does, Core smiles smugly.
James Eastwood: Look at that grin on his face! He’s so satisfied with what Dean Wolf did to Cliff of Doom. It’d be nice to see that grin knocked off his face somehow. Maybe you should smack him next, Alamo.
Alamo Franklin: Perhaps one day, but he ain’t done pissed me off yet.
Core and Wolf enter the ring. Core takes his robe off and warms up in his corner.
“Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart plays over the speakers as the crowd cheers. Biff comes out, and we immediately see taped ribs under his blue banana hammock. He stands at the top of his ramp with a grave stare fixed on The Core Institute. He walks down to the ring gingerly, trying not to show pain.
James Eastwood: No dancing from Biff tonight. He’s all business. He’s injured, his corner man has been taken out, and with Wolf at ringside, he might as well be entering a handicap match. I didn’t think Biff could be this focused but I was wrong.
Biff cautiously walks up the ring steps. He gets on the apron and climbs through the ropes, taking his eyes off of The Core Institute briefly. Wolf takes a step forward. Biff sees this in his peripheral vision, which causes him to step back onto the apron.
Alamo Franklin: That ain’t fear, that’s being alert.
Wolf and Core laugh as Biff grimaces. He attempts to step into the ring again, this time making it in without any interference. He stands across from Wolf and Core, trying not to put himself in a position to be attacked.
The music stops. Wolf walks towards Biff but the referee stands in his way and orders him out of the ring. Wolf waves at Biff disingenuously before exiting to the floor. The ref calls for the bell.
James Eastwood: Alright, moment-of-truth time for Biff Mustache.
Core and Biff circle each other. They both set up as if they’re going to engage in a collar and elbow tie up. Biff charges but Core knees him in the gut.
Core deadlifts Biff and throws him with a gutwrench suplex. He picks the wounded Mustache up again and repeats the move again. Biff grabs the ropes to lift himself up but Core keeps him down with knee drops to the ribs.
James Eastwood: Those knees must feel like sledgehammer shots!
Alamo Franklin: Pretty much.
Core picks up Biff and launches him across the ring with a fallaway slam. Biff rolls towards the ropes for safety, but Core walks over to him and stomps him until he falls off the apron and down to the floor.
Core tries to crawl through the ropes but the ref stops him. Core continues to try and exit the ring but the ref continues to prevent him from leaving. With the ref distracted, Wolf stomps on Biff and then scoops him up for a bodyslam to the floor.
James Eastwood: They’re pulling the same nonsense as last week. Come on, ref, do your job!
The ref turns around and sees Wolf near Biff. He leaves Core to go yell at him, allowing Core to make his way to the outside. He gets Biff to his feet and slams him into the guardrail back first over and over again. The look on Biff’s face with each collision is pained. When Core finally finishes, Biff falls to his knees and down on his face. Core bows to the crowd, who let him hear their displeasure.
James Eastwood: And to no one’s surprise, the crowd boos Bernard Core.
Core gets back in the ring and allows the ref to make a 10 count on the beaten Biff.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
6…
7…
Biff gets to his feet and makes it onto the apron.
Alamo Franklin: You know, Biff ain’t no genius, but the difference between him and Caleb is that this kid will get up and keep fightin’ even when he probably shouldn’t. That’s called heart. That’s what being a man is all about. This kid’s earned my respect.
Core walks towards Biff but Biff checks him in the gut with his shoulder. Core is bent over as Biff slingshots himself over the top rope and brings Core down with a sunset flip pin attempt.
1…
2…
Core escapes the pin. Biff is slow to get up, which allows Core to shoot up to his feet, run over to Biff, trap him, and send him down to the mat with a side belly to belly suplex. He gets up, climbs to the second rope, and falls to the mat, connecting with a headbutt. Biff writhes in pain as Core goes for the pin.
1…
2…
Biff kicks out. Core immediately grabs Biff in a chinlock.
The crowd claps to motivate Biff. He gets to his feet and gets off some elbows into Core’s stomach, but the comeback is stopped short when Core throws Biff back into the corner. Biff almost collapses but he holds on to the top rope.
James Eastwood: Biff is doing everything in his power to keep himself up.
Alamo Franklin: You can’t be pinned if you’re on your legs.
James Eastwood: And Bernard Core can’t put on that devastating Headmaster Lock as easily if Biff stays vertical; but still, how long can he hold on?
Core chops Biff’s chest a few times before Irish whipping him into the opposite corner. The force of the whip is so powerful that Biff instantly falls face first to the mat as soon his back hits the corner.
Core cockily walks toward Biff. Biff pushes himself up and grabs Core’s legs, trying to pull himself up. Core just laughs at the pathetic attempt to get up.
Core gutwrenches Biff and lifts him up for an overhead backbreaker rack. He holds the torturous move for a few seconds before driving Biff to the mat with a Dominator. He covers.
1…
2…
Biff kicks out. Core picks him up by the hair and locks him into an abdominal stretch. Biff screams out in agony as the move stretches his injured ribs. To add insult to injury, Core smacks the ribs, causing louder yells from Biff. While the ref asks Biff if he submits, Core holds out his free hand, allowing Wolf to pull on it, giving the Headmaster extra leverage. Biff wails as the Core Institute’s hijinks cause more pain.
James Eastwood: You know, if Biff loses this match, maybe Wolf and Core should just split the win in the standings!
The ref goes to check if Core is cheating, but Wolf lets go of his hand before the ref can catch the two in the act. The ref turns his attention back to Biff and the Core Institute go back to their cheating ways. With Biff yelling again, the ref checks for cheating, but the Institute thwarts his efforts for a second time. He returns to Biff, and Wolf grabs a hold of Core again. This time, the ref catches it and kicks both men’s hands to get them to release each other. The crowd cheers the ref’s assertiveness.
James Eastwood: Finally!
Wolf hops up on to the apron and begins yelling at the ref. Core lets go of Biff and yells at the ref as well. Wolf continues to argue as Core walks back towards Biff, who low blows his opponent. The crowd pops.
James Eastwood: That was a desperation move by Biff!
Alamo Franklin: Sometimes ya gotta fight dirty when the chips are down.
James Eastwood: With all the interference by Wolf, I’d say that evened the playing field a little bit.
Core’s knees begin to buckle as he holds his groin. Biff grabs him by the trunks and pulls him face first into the second turnbuckle.
Core struggles to get to his feet. When he does, he turns around and is met with a corner enzuigiri by Biff. Core falls to the mat like a sack of potatoes.
Biff drapes Core’s chest over the second rope. He runs across the ring, comes off the opposite ropes, and jumps on Core with a leapfrog body guillotine. He bounces up and down on Core’s back, very satisfied to humiliate the self-professed intellectual leader in this way. Wolf goes nuts with rage on the outside.
Alamo Franklin: C’mon, kid! Don’t play around! Keep at him!
Biff gets Core to his feet and chops his chest before sending him off the ropes. Core reverses the Irish whip and bends down. Biff leapfrogs over him, comes off the opposite ropes, and is scooped up by Core. However, Biff counters it with a headscissors takedown. Core quickly gets up but Biff sends him flying into the corner with a dropkick. Biff gets up and holds his ribs but lets out a growl to psych himself and the crowd up. He runs towards Core and hits an elbow smash and seamlessly grabs Core in a headlock. He runs to the middle of the ring and jumps in the air to land a bulldog. However, Core catches Biff and throws him into the corner, causing his legs to get hooked onto the top rope, leaving him in the tree of woe.
James Eastwood: This is not a good position for Biff to be in.
Core relentlessly stomps on Biff until the ref finally forces him out of the corner. Core and the ref argue while Wolf grabs Biff around the throat and pulls back. The crowd gets louder, trying to alert the ref of the cheating in the corner.
The ref turns around, but Wolf lets go right before the ref can catch him. He orders Wolf away from the corner. Meanwhile, Core unhooks Biff’s legs. Biff lands on his stomach. Core clutches Biff around the waist and hoists him up in the air for a German suplex. He holds on and hits another German suplex, followed by another rolling German. The fourth suplex ends up being a release German.
James Eastwood: I don’t know how Biff can go on any longer.
Core looks at the crowd and makes a throat cutting gesture with his thumb.
Core sets up Biff for a powerbomb.
He gets Biff up onto his shoulders, but Biff rains down right hands on Core’s head. Core moves towards the rope to dumb Biff out of the ring, but Biff catches the top rope and hurricanranas Biff out of the ring. Both men go crashing down to the outside mat.
James Eastwood: That was another desperation move by Biff.
Alamo Franklin: Yeah, but this one took somethin’ out of Biff, too.
The ref starts a 10 count.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…
6…
Biff gets to his feet first. Holding his ribs, he climbs up on to the apron. The ref implores him to get back into the ring, but Biff walks toward the ring post. Core gets to his feet and turns around. Biff runs towards him and attempts a punt kick, but Core sweeps the leg, causing Biff to spill back first onto the apron. Upon impact, he falls to the floor.
The ref is yelling at Core to bring the match back into the ring, but he ignores the ref and back body drops Biff right onto the apron, his ribs taking the majority of the crash.
James Eastwood: A Uniplex onto the apron! I wouldn’t be surprised if Biff doesn’t get up this time.
Core shouts at the ref.
Bernard Core: Now I’ll come back in!
Alamo Franklin: I don’t think Biff’s going to have to worry about getting himself back up.
Core rolls Biff back into the ring, wasting no time getting in himself. He grabs Biff by the foot and drags him into the middle of the ring so Biff can’t break any hold. Core drapes the left leg over his neck, turns Biff onto his stomach, and buries his knee into the base of Biff’s spine.
James Eastwood: HEADMASTER LOCK! Biff has got to tap out here if he wants to have any more of a career in professional wrestling!
Alamo Franklin: But he ain’t going to. His heart is bigger than his brain!
Biff yells out in pain. He tries to move towards the ropes but he has been rendered immobile. He holds his hand up in the air, signalling that he may tap, but turns it into a fist. He tries to push the fist up against the mat to push himself up, but it’s of no use. He buries his face in his hand, trying to outlast the punishment, keeping some sliver of hope that somehow, someway, he can get out of this brutal submission hold.
Suddenly, the crowd begins to stir.
James Eastwood: Hey, Alamo, look! It’s Cliff of Doom!
The camera shows Cliff of Doom coming down his ramp, limping but clearly on the warpath. Core sees Cliff and is shocked that he’s even upright. Core looks to Wolf and points towards Cliff. Wolf runs towards Cliff and the two begin trading blows. The crowd has become unglued.
They go back and forth with punches until Cliff kicks Wolf in the gut. He lifts him up and hits a gourdbuster GTS. The crowd pops.
Alamo Franklin: What the hell was that move?!
James Eastwood: He calls that the Doomerang!
Wolf is out on the ramp. Core releases the Headmaster Lock and starts screaming at Cliff from inside the ring. Cliff stands his ground, motioning for Core to come outside the ring and take him on. Core steps through the ropes with one leg, but he stops, reconsiders, and steps back into the ring. He points at Cliff and shouts a warning at him. He walks back towards Biff and bends down to grab his leg, but Biff grabs Core instead.
James Eastwood: Small package!
The ref counts.
1…
2…
3…
The crowd erupts in joy at the upset victory. “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” plays. Core sits up and can’t believe what just happened.
Gordon Gould: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this contest, Biff Mustache!
Biff rolls out of the ring and is met by Cliff, who helps him off the apron. Cliff hugs him and raises his hand.
James Eastwood: He did it! He did it, injured ribs and all!
Alamo Franklin: I gotta tip my hat to this kid! What a way to hang in there!
The standings graphic appears on the screen.
James Eastwood: Even after all his machinations, Bernard Core ends up with a loss while Biff Mustache gains his first victory!
The two friends walk backwards up Biff’s ramp, their arms around each other. They wave to Core, who is still stunned and sitting in the ring. He looks at his adversaries wide eyed, his mouth slightly open in shock.
As Cliff and Biff exit the arena, Core leaves the ring and walks over to Wolf, who is recovering on the ramp. He yells at Wolf, clearly disgusted with his Dean’s failure to neutralize Cliff and secure him a victory. He leaves Wolf behind, not even helping his subordinate to his feet. Wolf watches Core walk away, ashamed and frustrated with himself.
James Eastwood: I understand we are going to go to Sylvia Evergreen, who’s going to try and get a word with Headmaster Bernard Core.
We cut to Bernard Core tossing the curtain out of his way as he enters the backstage area. Sylvia Evergreen runs up to him.
Sylvia Evergreen: Headmaster Core, can we get your reaction to what just happened in the ring?
Bernard Core: You want my reaction?! Here’s my reaction! Some retail store loser distracted me when I had victory in the palm of my hand, I was pinned by a retard who probably can’t even tie his own shoes, and to top it all off, my trusted Dean of Discipline failed to ensure me a win! I’ve been made to look like a fool in front of the entire world! I---
Someone off camera is wailing. The camera quickly pans over to Caleb Ronan, who is sitting on a crate with his face buried in his hands while he cries.
Bernard Core: Hey! Can’t you see I’m being interviewed?!
Caleb continues to cry.
Bernard Core: What the hell is wrong with you?! Whatever it is, it’s not as bad as what I just went through! Did you see what just happened to me out there?!
Caleb takes his hands away from his face.
Caleb Ronan: I was assaulted by Alamo Franklin and nobody is doing a thing about it! Everyone in the crowd hates me, I’m getting trolled all over social media, and I can’t win a match! I’m not even good at being a millennial hipster who fights for social justice! I spent three months in the WCF and went nowhere and then Sydney J. Warwick comes in, doing MY GIMMICK, and wins War and the World Heavyweight Championship in his rookie year! What’s the point of living?! Maybe I should just end it all right now!!!
Caleb goes back to crying into his hands. All of a sudden, a look comes over Core’s face as if a light bulb just went off over his head. He smiles wickedly. He talks to Caleb with a reassuring tone.
Bernard Core: All’s not lost, Caleb. Maybe there’s something you can do for me. C’mon, let’s go talk in my dressing room.
Caleb looks up from his hands, a little confused.
Caleb Ronan: Um, o-ok.
Core puts his arm around Caleb and the two walk off camera. The camera turns back to Sylvia.
Sylvia Evergreen: What was that all about?
She looks off camera at Core and Caleb walking away while the show fades to black.
