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Post by The Very Big Śpainards on May 22, 2018 12:49:28 GMT -5
@6foot11behemoth
Oh, uh... Human Race? Yeah uh... something came in the mail today, it's called a..
ME FUCKING WINNING CAUSE I'M THE BEST AND I'M LIKE JOHN WICK FROM FORTNITE BECAUSE I'M THAT FUCKING GOOD AND I'M BETTER THAN ALL YOU MIDGETS HAHAHA WOOO I WIN THE TITLES!
Anderson and Reed? You dudes are good fighters, good dudes I'd say. But you forgot about my biggest weakness: I'm too dang good.
Yeah you heard that right probably small and dumb person reading this, I'm so dang good my weakness is being good.
And so! At the end of that great day for me and therefore for the U.K and therefore the best parts of humanity, I became the ruler of tag teams. Now there's a common misconception about being the ruler of Teams. It's not just wrestling tag teams guys, guys. Although I do own all wrestling tag teams.
I own ALL teams so like, McDonald's works in a team so I own McDonalds, French Government are a team so I kiiinda own France, Corey Black and his friends work in a team so technically speaking I'm actually the real owner of WCF.
As a matter of fact, the whole earth works in a team, like animals and stuff to make sure everthing stays all earth-y so technically speaking I own Planet Earth.
And by that logic I own the entire world basically, so it's a pretty good idea not to KICK ME IN MY FUCKING BALLS DAVID SANCHEZ!!!
I didn't even feel it! My balls are fine! I just pretended to be hurt to make you feel better. And what do I get for my kindness? A CHALLENGE?! INSULTS?!
IT'S LIKE SAINT HAYES ALL OVER AGAIN!!
Ok. I'm pretty pissed about this. So David? Bonnie? You dudes are a tag team. And as ruler of Tag Teams/France/WCF/The Universe I'm officially, LEGALLY, yep it's legal, the legal system is a team so I own them probably, officially labelling both of you as trash.
That's right. You guys aren't human anymore. You're trash. Legally. It's gonna come up on your drivers license, your Facebook! A- As a matter of fact you dudes ain't even gonna get a drivers license! Why? Because You're both sentient pieces of trash, LEGALLY, and they aren't LEGALLY allowed to drive.
Ask Judge Tennison he can back me up. Trash isn't allowed to drive, And you're trash so yeah.
You were two of the best wrestlers in the world and now You're two pieces of trash in the world. Congratulations.
MIDGET TRASH! THE WORST KIND! I WAS SO NICE TO BOTH OF YOU!
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Post by David Sanchez on May 22, 2018 13:35:25 GMT -5
@davetherevelator:
Lol.
Don't take it so personally Wilfred.
It's not like things are heating up again and the tag division was the last safe haven for perpetual midcarders...
Oh wait.
Come at me Sasquatch. I'll demote you back to gimmick matches with Kathy P quicker than you can say 'Very Big Pay Decrease'
#CivilDisobedience
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Post by Kid Dynamo on May 22, 2018 13:45:34 GMT -5
@owfkd
It says something that the VBS were uninvited from the champions team at #AsesinatoDeMayo.
Good luck, Dirty Sanchez. The tag division could use a reset.
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Post by David Sanchez on May 22, 2018 14:07:00 GMT -5
@davetherevelator:
Haha. Even the scrubs know you guys are fucked lmao.
#VeryObviousResult
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Post by David Sanchez on May 22, 2018 15:14:50 GMT -5
@davetherevelator:
Also, with a fuckin' goober like Dune, and a grown man who only recently stopped calling himself 'mikey' (see: drooling nugget from Recess)...
I dunno man, at least these goofy bastards are consistent.
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Post by The Very Big Śpainards on May 22, 2018 15:37:56 GMT -5
@6foot11behemoth
Damn, I guess friggin NASA got sentient pieces of trash using computers now, THAT ARE LEGALLY SENTIENT PIECES OF TRASH I SHOULD ADD. Science is crazy.
And I don't even know why I bothered to read the replies. Some 'MAIN EFANT MASTAH' is gonna walk in and say something "bwaah the deveson dead now waaah" then Kid Dynamo's gonna defy the laws of time again and reply like he always does and'll probably say something like "hehehe I'm 8 years old, hehehe!" Then in a couple days Adam Young'll come in and add a gif of himself with some weird ass tagline that may seem like it makes sense but doesn't, at all. I'm a 3 time IT Champ I know how this works.
Speaking of IT Championships, I remember you holding an IT Title once, David Sanchez. If I remember correctly, which I do because I'm omniscient, your last match before taking a break was FOR the IT Title. Who was that against? Oh yeah, MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
And I used my stupendous, agility, geniusness and wrestling knowledge to beat you!
You're a bonafied main renter and one of the best wrestling guys of this decade and my luscious, tremendous destruction of your limbs and affiliated body parts is one of my proudest moments. But I reeeeally hope you didn't forget that beating you took. I hope the thought of my strong muscles squashing your body into any surface I could find is scarred in your brain. Because then, this Sunday you'll get a bit of Deja vu. Because I intend to replicate my previous brutalisation. Because when your mind drifted off and you started to think of other; much more pleasant things while you were gone, I never stop wanting to leg drop midgets. And I never will.
Actually since I own you, you have to start all your internet posts with the phrase "William is the best". It's official you have to do it now.
P.S Kid Dynamo is a 'Kid' implying he has a family, "Daddy Dynamo" "Mommy Dynamo" etc.. And a family is a team, so therefore I own Kid Dynamo and my first action as owner of Kid Dynamo is to demand he film himself kicking himself in the face and send it to me. Failure to do so will result in me making a mean comment about you behind your back, the uncertainty of which will drive you to madness in a matter of days.
- Owner of the Universe William the Behemoth.
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Post by The Very Big Śpainards on May 22, 2018 16:02:35 GMT -5
@davetherevelator: Also, with a fuckin' goober like Dune, and a grown man who only recently stopped calling himself 'mikey' (see: drooling nugget from Recess)... I dunno man, at least these goofy bastards are consistent. Ok David Sanchez has been promoted to LEGALLY being a piece of dirt because he said I was consistent. You know a lot of people wouldn't legally be sentient pieces of trash if they were just polite but nooooo. Let's all call the extremely healthy and fit guy faaat when he blatantly isn't. Your last name still sucks though and I really enjoy splashing onto your chest too much to not do that as much as possible. |
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Post by David Sanchez on May 22, 2018 17:14:43 GMT -5
@davetherevelator:
I'm new here, wtf is this vending machine looking motherfucker talking about?
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Post by David Sanchez on May 23, 2018 5:09:58 GMT -5
DavetheRevelator:
Also, being consistently hapless isn't really something to be proud of, but you do you.
It seems to work for Mikey.
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Post by Kid Dynamo on May 23, 2018 8:20:43 GMT -5
@owfkd
My mom and dad were brutally murdered when I was 8.
So yeah, go fuck yourself, except I doubt that’s even anatomically possible. But go ahead and try your best.
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Post by David Sanchez on May 23, 2018 9:04:15 GMT -5
@davetherevelator:
Somewhere, Jackson White just shed a solitary tear as his entire gimmick is repacked and spoon-fed to a scrub.
I'm perfectly happy fucking these dobbers for the time being though. Should that change, I'll get right on that. I'm pretty flexible for an old dude.
Shouldn't you be in a press conference somewhere? Declaring this, that and the next thing. You know, spilling out the generic garbage that temporary TV jobbers always do? I'm confused man, get off the internet.
Kisses, Dave.
Xo
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Post by Kid Dynamo on May 23, 2018 9:37:17 GMT -5
Stfu. U have a match with the top 3 champs and ur bitckering with this pleb. Get ur promo work done you fucking mook Even Odin knows that there’s the true champions and then there’s the B-team champions. |
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Post by The Very Big Śpainards on May 23, 2018 12:00:25 GMT -5
@6foot11behemoth
B TITLE?!
How- HOW in God's name is the Tag Team Title a B TITLE?!?!?!?!
Lemme friggin maths this up one sec.
Ok, so obviously all titles are extremely prestigious and each champion deserves to have said title. But let's just look at all the stuff you get from owning the titles.
World Title: You get to own the planet which I guess can come pretty useful but you also have to deal with global warming and natural disasters and Canada. Too much hassle really, I'm pretty sure the only reason Dune wanted it was because he wanted to own more sand. And sure you become known as the greatest wrestler in WCF at the time, but Canada! Nobody wants those guys.
Tv Title: Own the TV and... stuff on TV I guess. I guess you own Two and a Half Men. And that's... well yeah that's pretty good... not really... Dang you suck! and you own all those garbage commercials that come on in between shows! THAT SUCKS EVEN MORE KID DYNAMO!!
Hardcore Title: I don't even-! Do you just own furniture?! Do you like have access to a bunch of ladders or other potentially dangerous everyday objects? Are you just Home Depot? I mean- It's not bad! But it's too short term! I'm all about the long term! I'm a futurist!
Tag Team Titles: Own all Teams. Therefore own all that said teams own. Therefore since WCF, a very large team, technically owns them belts, I own them belts. Therefore I own The World, TV, Hardcore, Home Depot and Two and a Half Men. But I don't have to own all the bad stuff like Canada and- and- Well mostly Canada actually.
So, basically: I'm all of you but better! MUCH BETTER!
And David: Since I own all Teams, and the people who make the dictionary books are part of a team, I'm LEGALLY changing the definition of hapless to "Super cool".
Because I'm super cool! And you called me hapless so you were actually calling me super cool.
Get it?
Do you get it?
Of course you don't get it YOU'RE a piece of debris! FUCK OFF!
Fuck it, I'm changing the definition of hapless to "William is super cool and all pieces of debris are horse fuckers"
It's legal.
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Post by Corey Black on May 23, 2018 13:48:54 GMT -5
@black
The math checks out.
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Post by Odin Balfore on May 23, 2018 15:04:39 GMT -5
My tag team partners a rock and we cpuld still trounce the fed lol
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Post by David Sanchez on May 23, 2018 15:10:22 GMT -5
@davetherevelator:
So basically when we win the titles on Sunday-- WE will then own all tag-teams and therefore, own you.
Looking forward to rebranding you humongous goofballs as the VERY BIG BACKGROUND DANCERS and using you to liven up meeker promos.
Also, Dynamo-- you've been here like 6 minutes. Get back in your hole and prove you even deserve to be here before you go menstrating all over the place.
We all have dead people, some of us are fuckin' dead people. Do yourself a favor and heed Odin's call before you wind up like [Insert Any Rando Fluke TV Champ Here]
Now, William. You be careful now. Let's not go forgetting our station in life eh.
I'm sure there's all kinds of kooky hijinx you belters could be getting up to in TJ.
Whatever are you waiting for?
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Post by The Very Big Śpainards on May 23, 2018 15:57:13 GMT -5
@6foot11behemoth
WHAT?! NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
THA- THAT'S COMPLETRLY IRRESPONSIBLE! THESE ARE PEOPLE'S LIVES YOU'RE MESSING WITH DAVID!
WCF Galaxy! Can't you see that an all powerful device such as these titles simply cannot be used by such an irresponsible man like David Sanchez?!?!
We could all be doomed!
But no worries. I've already done the calculatons. It's physically impossible for me to lose to a bitch like him, but I must make precautions. For the fate of the Universe, of course. Being responsible and level headed is something people do WHEN THEY OWN THE UNIVERSE YOU RECKLESS TWAT, SANCHEZ!!
That's why, as the owner of the legal system and by extension the law, I'm making all crimes in every country completely legal if performed against either David Sanchez or Bonnie Blue.
Theft, Assault, Battery, Arson, Murder, you name It's legal just do it to those two bastards first.
You will all thank me when I win for keeping the literal keys to the Universe out of the deceptive hands of LITERALLY ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE IN THE FUCKING WORLD DAVID SANCHEZ!!! THAT'S YOU DAVID SANCHEHZZSEZEZRZZ!!!
Did I say people? I MEAN DEBRIS! YOU ARE DEBRIS! Technically all those crimes should be perfectly legal anyway cause you're just debris but I made them legal anyway. They're DOUBLE LEGAL!
Also, Odin, one of you're greatest moves is called Ragnorak which is a prophecy for the literal destruction of your people AND yourself, Odin. I refuse to believe that someone who's signature move is him KILLING HIMSELF! Would have a tag team partner in any sense. I'm not dissing you're accomplishments of a tag team I'm simply denying it existed. I can do that too. Legally. But I won't because I don't want to get beaten up. But remember I could just plop all memory of The Thickness from existence.
Existence... a powerful, meaningful thing. Certainly not something a ARROGANT, CARELESS EGOMANIAC LIKE DAVID SANCHEZ SHOULD HAVE CONTROL OFF YOUR FUCKING DHSUSHDBDKIDJDJWJWJWJWJWJAJAJJ AWWWWWWW I'M TOO FUXKING PISSED RIGHT NOW!
Alright that's it. David you're banned from the internet. I'm tired of you fucking with me. Now all debris aren't allowed to use the internet. Think of all the poor debris out their that can't use the internet now. Well done, David. How responsible.
That's fucking sarcasm, You're not responible at all. A person like you should be able to have a chance at controllj g THE ENTIRE WORLD! OH MY FUCKING GEEZ! CANCEL THE DARN MATCH! WHY THE FUCK ARE WE DECIDING THE FATE OF PLANET EARTH WITH A DAMN WRESTLING MATCH?!
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOAOAOOAOAOAOAOAOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOOAOAOAOA FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
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Post by AdamYoung on May 24, 2018 22:40:36 GMT -5
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Post by The Very Big Śpainards on May 25, 2018 0:53:54 GMT -5
@6foot11behemoth Then in a couple days Adam Young'll come in and add a gif of himself with some weird ass tagline that may seem like it makes sense but doesn't, at all. I'm a 3 time IT Champ I know how this works. @6foot11behemoth I CALLED IT! A gif of himself! Sure there may not be a weird tagline but that's definitely a gif of him. It's s not like it can be me, I'm not fat and I'm definitely not female. I own all gifs (Steve Wilhite worked in a T E A M, to create gifs sooooooooo yep) so I can LEGALLY say that's a picture of Adam Young. In fact I can say that it's gif of Adam Young getting kicked in the face super hard. But I won't. No, wait yes I will. Dang Adam, you suck. |
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Post by David Sanchez on May 25, 2018 7:29:06 GMT -5
@davetherevelator:
Greetings from Tijuana you colossal fuckwit.
I didn't really understand much of that 'debris' based rant. But yeah, it's not really gonna matter come Sunday anyway.
You keep doing calculations of hypothetical situations that aren't ever going to come to pass.
There is no chance, literally 0.000% likelihood of you fuckin' overgrown nerds getting the big win.
You're going into this match as the underdogs, haha. How is that even a thing?
You guys have 500+ pounds on us, and years of experience as a team.
Yet even the scrubs can see you're about to be buried by an ex-junkie and a skinny white chick that weighs about as much as a stapler.
Best case scenario for you? You phone it in and lose by forfeit.
It ain't the most heroic approach, I know.
But hey, at least that way you don't spend 4 months at home with a mutilated groin.
Seems like a pretty clever approach if you ask me but meh...
You were never the sharpest spoon the drawer.
#NewTagChamps
#GroinMutilation
#CivilDisobedience
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