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Post by Dionysus on May 15, 2018 9:49:26 GMT -5
Since this seems to be the new trend you kids are getting into (whatever happened to getting into drugs and rock-n-roll?), I’d also like to offer up tips and suggestions. I’ll keep an eye out and post to newer threads, but if you leave a link for me to check out, I’ll take a look too.
One thing to keep in mind with me; I’m looking for ways to improve only. You may have done something really cool in an RP, and that’s rad, but there’s always a way to improve. You might think I’m not showering you with praise, and I very well may not. I want to see people get better and feel like they have more story to tell.
I’m not a hardass or anything like that (...Okay, I’m probably a little bit of a hardass...), so it isn’t like I’m gonna say “Your promo sucks and so do you, fgt.” I’m just not gonna rain kisses from on high.
Cool?
Cool.
EDIT: One thing I forgot to add, if I seem to be off-base on my critique, it may be due to something I’m missing in reading the RP. I’ll usually ask to clarify if I’m missing something, but if I don’t, don’t bite my head off. XD
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Post by Ryan Joseph on May 15, 2018 10:15:43 GMT -5
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Post by Dionysus on May 15, 2018 10:26:23 GMT -5
Will do! It might be a while before you see a response. XD EDIT: I won’t be able to listen to the audio clip either. I’m at work currently, but once I’m at home I’ll give that a listen. Not sure if that’ll impact the writing, but you never know.
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Post by Dionysus on May 15, 2018 16:13:19 GMT -5
Alright, I gave the RP a good cursory read, and here’s what I think of it: When it comes to an introduction RP, there are a few questions I personally like to have answered: -Who is this person? -What are their motivations/goals/fears/secrets? -What is their current line going? There is a lot of description that went into this RP. I’d hazard to say too much, but I did catch myself skimming one or two paragraphs. It certainly did help to answer the questions listed. A helpful tip: it might be easier in the long run to hold some of those details close to the vest, that way, you have more to write on later. The flow was good, and the paragraphs were easy to read. I’d just suggest a different color for the text when you’re narrating (depending on the forum style you picked). The shoot is where I’d do some more work, to be honest. I like the banter you have between you and your wife in the RP, but you needed a little bit more to make that fantastic shoot. Could dig into more of your characters’ thoughts from there; maybe your wife hates your in-laws and always compares them to your opponents. Overall, a solid introduction that just needs a bit of fine tuning.
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Post by Ryan Joseph on May 15, 2018 17:17:25 GMT -5
Thanks man. Audio clip is today by smashing pumpkins. He’s very excited about wrestling so it fit in my mind.
Thanks again. Shoot is my worst/least favorite part of rpinn lol.
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Post by Dionysus on May 15, 2018 18:41:16 GMT -5
Thanks man. Audio clip is today by smashing pumpkins. He’s very excited about wrestling so it fit in my mind. Thanks again. Shoot is my worst/least favorite part of rpinn lol. It’s mine too. XD What helps is if you have a good way to play off comparisons. That’s what most of my shoots ended up being here. Basically, research opponents (profile, RP, and matches), find a groove, and work with it.
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