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Post by Judge Tennison on May 9, 2018 21:32:48 GMT -5
I just want to be clear the reason I was hard on you Victor is because I'm that hard on myself. If I'm too rough around the edges I apologize but I have too much time on my hands to think. I did read all of it and maybe could have worded off balanced better. But I'm disabled so one of my faults is I can be harsh without considering a persons feelings. So I'll work on that for my next round of feed back so it doesn't come off as me nit picking or being an extremist asshole. David @thejudge You're pretty hard on yourself but THE BOYS FROM JESSUP will be even harder on you unless you meet me for the first ever COURTROOM BRAWL this Sunday at Slam
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Post by Abraxas McKnight on May 9, 2018 21:35:28 GMT -5
Abraxas, ever consider calling yourself The Baron or The Butcher? Why am I waiting for a joke out of this? O.o
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James Wolf
Mid-Carder
"Come fight me, bitch!"
Posts: 691
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Post by James Wolf on May 9, 2018 21:35:44 GMT -5
Lol Judge. I'm all ready booked and then you'll have to get in line as I all ready have a feud in the works
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James Wolf
Mid-Carder
"Come fight me, bitch!"
Posts: 691
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Post by James Wolf on May 9, 2018 21:41:14 GMT -5
Abraxas, I actually think the title of "The Baron" would fit you well. And creatively the sky would be the limit. I'm working on getting away from my typical work and move into you guys getting to see James David Wolf's grown children. May drop the Morbid Wolf eventually after he's some what established.
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Post by Kid Dynamo on May 12, 2018 17:28:42 GMT -5
Three things I liked:
1) “The Omen of Reality” is a strong gimmick that fits the times. As much as we enjoy getting outside the box with our storylines, CM Punk is usually considered the best promo guy of this generation so he’s a good source of inspiration. Creatively no-selling the opponent’s mystique will force them to work harder to avoid being seen as a child pretending to be Superman. (For example, look at how you made me spend precious words defending the fact that I’m old just because you presented the assumption that I have nagging injuries that slow me down.) In my opinion, when your opponent has to cut a defensive promo, that’s good for you.
2) Saying “shite” instead of “shit”. I assumed you were Scottish based on your name and the use of shite, and if I was right, I’d definitely say lean even more into that. Your trash talk will stand out from the crowd when it’s easier for the reader to “hear” your words as they read them.
3) Your three-fingered conclusion was a great organized callback to how you grouped your opponents and gave a very crisp appearance to your promo.
Three things I didn’t like:
1) The bright blue font for background text. This is nit-picky AF, but I think it would help your dialogue stand out if the background text was more muted. I can not recommend gray enough.
2) Starting with dissing the TV Title for its hot-potato nature was good, as was the (expected) final declaration that you’re its next champion, but I think you needed to bridge those ideas with some kind of statement about how “I’m going to FINALLY make this title relevant.” Think about how The Miz talked about the IC Title; the white belt is prestigious when it’s his, and shit when it isn’t, and that idea was missing.
3) This may just be my personal opinion, so #GrainOfSalt, but the joke about D’Agosta sodomizing children felt like junior high humor instead of the “man’s man who’ll tell you to grow some balls and do something about it” that most of the promo projected.
Bottom Line: The predictions thread says it all. The early results echo what I’m sure most people are thinking: out of all these new guys, Abraxas may just be the best of the bunch.
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