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Post by "The Animal" Samuel McPherson on Apr 16, 2018 6:39:22 GMT -5
I know this is a very different request for feedback instead of for RP's. A few months ago, I started writing matches for a fed called WWH. Problem is I don't know where I can improve, much less if I'm good enough to write matches for WCF so I'd really apprechate it if you guys can give me a hand. Samples of two matches I've done recently will be in the next posts.
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Post by "The Animal" Samuel McPherson on Apr 16, 2018 6:47:05 GMT -5
Here's the Hellsgate title match between Deacon Winterborn and Austin James Mercier.
WWH RING ANNOUNCER | NICOLETTE CHRISTON This match is scheduled for one fall and it's for the Hellsgate title.
As the guitar kicks in for "We Own the Night", the Deacon steps onto the stage to a chorus of boos as he holds out his arms to soak it in, mouthing 'Praise be to your Savior!' before dropping to a knee, staring at the ring. Motioning a cross with his hand to bless the ring he is about to step into, he starts making his way to the ring, avoiding the hands of the 'heathens' outstretched.
Nicolette Christon: Making his way to the ring from The Holy City, weighing in two hundred and twenty-nine pounds, here's the challenger DEACOOONNNN....WINTERBOOORRRNNNNNNN!
Climbing up the steps, he bows his head, muttering a small prayer to himself before stepping between the ropes and removing the holy scarf he had draped around his neck, before looking out at the crowd as his music dies down...
The lights shut off as "Rise Up" by Asking Alexandria kicks in, as it builds different lights flash around the arena. As the song builds into the refrain and the guitars kick in a spotlight forms on the stage with Austin standing in the middle.
Nicolette Christon: And his opponent, from Manhattan, New York. He is your Hellsgate Champion, Austin James Mercer.
He makes his way down to the ring before moving around to the steps, he makes his way up and walks across the apron before stepping between the ropes, he stands in the center of the ring holding his Hellsgate title as the music shuts off.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Austin James Mercier has been a great Hellsgate champion since he defeated Tommii Drekko two months ago, holding the company together.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Maybe Austin is bigger than Deacon, but Deacon has the speed advantage along with god following him.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS At the same time, Austin is right, Deacon's only had three matches since being here and although he did pin Hellsfire champion, you have to know that not many wrestlers get title opportunities like Deacon has, but here we are.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Yeah right, Deacon is and will be better than Deacon in this match, you'll see.
After the referee holds up the Hellsgate title to the fans, he gives the belt to Nicolette Christon who then leaves the ring while the referee checks on both wrestlers who aren't taking their eyes off each other, knowing what's at stake for this match and the bell rings
DING DING.
The bell starts as Deacon already tries to get in Austin's head by having his hand out and once Austin does try to greet his hand, Deacon punches Austin to his face, trying to get into his head a little bit, problem was Austin was still standing due to how big he was over Deacon as he boots Deacon in his face and then he lays punches of his own before both men get up and punch one another until Austin gets the upper hand and throws Deacon to the ropes and does a jumping kneedrop that sends Deacon to the mat. Austin then goes on the ground and does a leg drop on Deacon.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS How smart was Deacon, trying to get into Austin's head in the early going.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Only it backfired with Austin's size giving out a massive difference between the two wrestlers.
Austin picks him up, but Deacon does an uppercut which still doesn't get Austin down, but Deacon kicks him before he gets him in a fisherman suplex that gets Austin down for the first time in this matchup. While Austin was on the ground, Deacon wastes time by going on his knees bowing to god, but while he does that, Austin lifts Deacon back on his feet to do a German suplex from behind which went across the ring.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Deacon wasted time there and he should've never turned his back on Austin because you see how far he threw Deacon.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Oh come on, there's nothing wrong with saying prayers to god.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Not during a match, especially a championship match. So far it's evenly matched between the two.
Deacon gets up after being suplexed across the ring as he kicks Austin again to attempt a suplex, but Austin gets out of it with a suplex on his own which then turns into doing three German suplexes on Deacon before he picks him up again and now Austin tries to go for a Belly To Belly, but Deacon ducks Austin's head down and plants him for the Falling Powerbomb as he pins Austin.
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PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Austin isn't gonna let his title hopes end that quickly.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Well he should've because he sucks as a Hellsgate champion
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD I disagree as Austin has made the Hellsgate important again because he's been a very stable champion for the Hellsgate brand. He's a great le.... oh wait a minute here.
Deacon drags Austin to his knees and tells him to bow to god while he's locked him in a camel clutch, but Austin doesn't listen as he's in pain, only he uses his size to his advantage as he stands up while Deacon has him locked in and drops him on his back which Deacon was forced to let go of the hold as once again, Austin goes for a few punches on Deacon before he goes for an elbow drop, but Deacon moves out of the way as Austin's elbow hits the mat as Deacon talks trash to Austin on how he's disrespecting his god as he washes Austin's face before he spits on him with the fans booing Deacon, but that's when Austin quickly gets up and spears Deacon out of nowhere as he now goes for the pinfall.
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PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Wow, he really retaliated towards the disrespect Deacon showed Austin by spearing the hell out of him.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS That was great that Deacon is treating Austin like trash. It was far entertaining than Austin is when he wrestles in the ring.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD You can't say that. Austin is doing well in this match and so is Deacon, but Deacon was disgusting to spit on another human being.
This caused anger on Austin's face after the amount of disrespect he had from Deacon as he wanted nothing more than to throw him around as he does by picking Deacon up by his hair and does a vicious belly to belly suplex before he claps his hands with the crowd fully behind Austin before he picks him up and does a Pendulum Backbreaker as he made sure Deacon didn't do it again. Deacon realizes he has been wasting time and then comes back with a massive Implant DDT as he then goes for the pinfall.
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Kick out by Austin who'd see that it was clear Deacon was getting back to focusing on winning the Hellsgate title by being more aggressive right now as he picks him up by his hair and takes him to the corner before he goes on the turnbuckle and does a Seated Blockbuster which leads for him to do a knee drop on Austin as he tries to go for a pin, Austin picks him up to do Double A spinebuster from out of nowhere with the crowd cheering for the massive slam he did on Deacon. Deacon suddenly gets up, but he does a Shotgun Dropkick on Austin to leave him on the ground before he locks Austin up and does an armbar on Austin's left arm, making Austin feel all the pain he could with the referee asking Austin if he wants to tap out.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD This is a smart move from Deacon here as if he hurts his arm, he won't be able to do the power moves that Austin usually does.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Of course, it's smart, stupid, it's Deacon's way of showing how bad he wants to win the Hellsgate title.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD We'll see, but Austin is showing so much power since the beginning of this match.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Power doesn't always win matches idiot.
Austin crawls his way to the ropes and manages to place his hand on the ropes with the referee counting Deacon, but he lets go after three as he stamps his foot on Austin's arm before he uses the leg drop on it, hearing screams from him as he tries to get up and shake it off, but Deacon leaves him without any room to breathe as he does an x plex, but he lands on his arm before he pins him.
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Austin kicks out with every amount of energy he has left with Austin rolling around with his arm as the referee checks if he can continue and Austin says yes. It was clear Deacon had done quite a lot of damage on Austin's arm as he does a knee drop on Austin's left arm before bashing it down with Austin holding it in pain with Deacon having no remorse for it as he boots his face to the ground. Deacon goes on the turnbuckle and performs a moonsault, but Austin moves out of the way just in time and Deacon hits the mat, gaining back the momentum Austin needed for this Hellsgate title where he's fighting with a lot of pain on his arm.
He manages to get up, shaking off all the pain he was having on his left arm as he knows what the cost would be if he lost the title match. He picks Deacon up with his right arm and he does a massive powerbomb out of nowhere as he was in so much pain that he couldn't go for the pin.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Deacon has messed Austin's arm up too much. What a smart wrestler he is.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD I admire Austin's courage on how he's continuing to fight, but at the same time, he knows he'd lose the Hellsgate title if he quits and we all know Austin doesn't quit for anything.
Instead, Deacon wanted to hurt Austin's arm some more as he did a DDT on Austin's arm, wanting to almost snap it before he locks in an armlock, but Austin using his other arm uses his elbow to let go of it which he does as he stands up and does a punch towards Deacon's face and he throws him into the ropes before doing a massive Samoan drop on his back as he goes for the pinfall.
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Deacon kicks out, leaving Austin being in shock, but it was a bit too early to finish the match as he picks him up, but Deacon suddenly pulls on Austin's left arm again and punches him to the turnbuckle before climbing to the top to smash his arm on the ring post which leaves Austin crashing down to the mat, rolling in pain as Deacon is near enough taking power moves out of the man. He picks him up on his head and does a Swinging neckbreaker as he then goes for the pinfall.
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PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Deacon is showing a lot of signs of frustration right now because he can't seem to put Austin away.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Of course, Deacon wants to win, he wants to shut the smart mouth up once and for all. He's damaged Austin's arm to take a bit of power away, what else can he do?
Deacon clearly runs towards the ropes and attempts to go for the dropkick, but Austin moves out of the way for the referee to be knocked down on the mat instead. While the referee was knocked out, Deacon kicks Austin downstairs, smirking and laughing about it to use a cheap shot to leave the fans cheering to booing.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD He should've been disqualified for that attempt of the low blow.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS If the referee is knocked down and didn't see it, he's not disqualified for the move. He's playing smart, doing everything it takes to win the Hellsgate title from Austin.
He goes over to the turnbuckle and unties the padding off from it to expose the steel connecting to the post as he gets him up and tries to whip him towards the turnbuckle, only Austin turns things around and Deacon hits his body on the turnbuckle, leaving him to go on the ground. Once again from the ground, he tries to pick himself up, but Austin boots him to the floor and goes behind Deacon and locks him in a sleeper hold, but the problem was the referee is down so he lets go and tries to revive the referee, only once again Deacon tries going from behind, but Austin saw it coming as he clotheslines Deacon down on the mat, although he forgot about his left arm as he winces in pain from the damage he did to Deacon. Deacon tries to roll Austin up, holding Austin's pants.
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Luckily, Austin got out of that with nearly losing his title tonight with the cheap pin once again as it was clearly shown that there's a lot more damage to be done as Deacon is getting sick of trying to wrestle him so he leaves the ring and goes to get the Hellsgate title. He goes into the ring before the referee stops him and snatches the title away from Deacon, telling him he'd be Disqualified to use the weapon before Austin goes behind him and does a tiger suplex before he goes to pin him.
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PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD No man wants to give up here. Such a fantastic matchup, besides Deacon doing cheap shots now and again and especially Austin still doing power moves with his left arm being damaged earlier on in the match.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS I still think Deacon is going to win because he seems to want the title more than Austin does.
Austin was the first to get up as he sees a massive eye-opening opportunity to finish the match as he waits for Deacon to get up as he does and Austin uses Ode to Lisa (Ripcord lariat) before he goes to lock Deacon's legs in for The parting shot (Figure four leglock).
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS No, don't tap Deacon, get out of the hold.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD He's got it locked in tight.
Deacon tries to find a way out, even attempting to crawl around the ring, but when he reaches towards the ropes, Austin pulls him back in the middle of it to a point there's nothing left Deacon can do, but to tap out as the referee calls for the bell to ring.
Ding Ding.
WWH RING ANNOUNCER | NICOLETTE CHRISTON The winner of the match by submission and still your Hellsgate champion, Austin James Mercer
The referee hands Austin James Mercier the Hellsgate title as he holds it in the air with his right arm, with the referee being careful by going the other side to raise his right arm while he goes on the turnbuckle with his Hellsgate title.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Why do we have to see this kiss ass still being champion?
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Simple because he was the better man tonight and he deserves to be a champion after a performance like that. Deacon tried everything to gain an advantage, even almost having Austin beat at one point to be the new champion.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | JON SUMMERS Instead, we still continue to have the kiss ass Austin who cares so much about the company and being a so-called great champion for Hellsgate.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | HOPE GREENFIELD Because he is. He's keeping the brand together and tonight, we saw the never quit attitude of Austin who's still in pain from his arm being battered, but he did one hell of a job to retain the title tonight.
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Post by "The Animal" Samuel McPherson on Apr 16, 2018 6:50:32 GMT -5
Miroel Giroux and Alicia Lukas.
"Go to sleep" by Eminem hits as Alicia steps out with a black hoodie over her upper half with the hood up over her long blond hair.
WWH RING ANNOUNCER | NICOLETTE CHRISTON This match is scheduled for one fall!!!..Introducing first from Washington DC by way of Atlanta Georgia, here's Alicia Lukas.
She makes her way down to the ring and runs up the steps before climbing the ropes on the outside, she flips the hood back before putting her arms out, she smiles at the crowd before leaping into the ring from the outside and taking off the hoodie, waiting for her opponent to come out to the ring.
The opening beats of "Power" begin to play as the fans eagerly await the arrival of Miroel Giroux. When the third set of notes start Miroel comes waltzing out from the backstage area wearing a bedazzled jacket and gold and black sunglasses. She walks to the top of the ramp and shakes hips from side to side before pushing the sunglasses up to the top of her head before raising her arms up again and a cocky smirk creeps it's way across her lips.
WWH RING ANNOUNCER | NICOLETTE CHRISTON And her opponent, from Port St. Lucie, Florida, here's Miroel Giroux.
Miroel then began to make her way down the ramp, ignoring the fans and seemingly swatting them away as she strutted towards the ring like she was walking the catwalk at fashion week. Once she reaches it, Miroel heads off to the right side and quickly hops onto the apron. Miroel is swift to get back up to her feet and puts her back to the ropes before removing the jacket and tossing it down to the floor by snapping backward's and then coming back up, giving a flirtatious little wink to the camera. She then steps through the ropes and stands off in the turnbuckle waiting for the bell to ring.
GONG!!!
Very aggressively, they go into a tie-up, pushing one another back and forth until Miroel has the upper hand with a few punches towards Alicia's face and already goes for drop toe hold to lock her in a single leg crab submission, already putting some damage on Alicia from the word go and she was putting a lot of pressure on her leg until Alicia pushes forward to get off the hold, leaving Miroel crashing on the mat.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE It's quite clear how much Miroel wanted to hurt Alicia already.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES She wants to show Elena that she means business when she goes for the women's title at Wrestlemania.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE But it was a unique way to get out of the hold by Alicia.
Alicia does some elbow drops on Miroel's back before she turns her over and does a thesz press followed by slamming head on the mat like crazy, showing how much they hate each other. This was when they both get up and almost had the same idea of trying to kick each other in the head, but only they kicked their own legs which left them wobbly before Alicia comes out of nowhere with the spear. That leads Miroel going out of the ring and Alicia runs towards the ropes and does a slingshot spear to the outside with the crowd cheering.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES Now Alicia has the control, showing Kat Jones how badly she wants to win.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE I'm sure we'll see her tonight, but we got women throwing punches out here, wanting to brutally destroy one another.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES Of course, because they said quite vile things to one another before the match tonight.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE Although they should get back in the ring because the referee is already up to five with the count.
Miroel eventually does a vicious clothesline to Alicia before she lifts her up to roll her under the ring as Miroel gets back to the ring on the seventh count as she does an elbow drop before getting up to wash her face with her foot and stomping on it for a bit before she picks Alicia by her hair and does a flipping neckbreaker and goes for the pinfall.
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Alicia kicks out as it was far too early for the match to end yet as they slowly get up and Alicia slowly lifts Miroel on her back with Miroel's legs wrapped around Alicia's chest and plants her down with a gory neckbreaker move which was something nobody had seen before from Alicia.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES Wow, I've never seen anything like this from Alicia before.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE It was something new, I give her credit. Must be something she's been working on for the Wrestlemania match against Kat, don't you think?
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES I think so too, but keep an eye out for Miroel here.
As she does with Miroel getting up quite fast from the gory neckbreaker and goes behind Alicia to do a northern lights suplex, but doesn't go for the pin as instead, she wanted to do more damage to Alicia by placing her arm around Alicia's throat and does a shoulder jawbreaker, but as soon as she was going to go for the leg hold, Alicia kicks Miroel forward and goes for the crossface. As she has it locked in, Miroel crawls to the ropes and places her foot on it as the ref counts up to four for Alicia to let go of the hold.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE These ladies are putting everything on the line in this match with pure anger.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES I like this sort of wrestling from the girls here. They really are putting out their best before they have their Wrestlemania matches come around.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE Which I'm sure both Kat Jones and Elena are watching this match.
Alicia picks Miroel up by the air and she goes for the Snap Suplex, but Miroel knees Alicia on her gut as it releases the hold and goes for double knee backbreaker on Alicia before she goes for the pinfall
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Alicia kicks out as she feels she could lose to Miroel once again, but is determined to do something about it, but before she does, she got up and her back connects with a front dropkick my Miroel before she goes to the apron and uses her body to shove Alicia before she jumps from the ropes and drags Alicia's arm with a split-legged twisted arm drag as Alicia immediately comes back up as she connects her Muay Thai Knees to Miroel many times.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES She's using Miroel as a punching bag.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE Not for long though with facebreaker knee smash connected by Miroel there.
As she did as there was nothing stopping these girls from beating the hell out of each other with aggression. Miroel goes on the turnbuckle and connects with a diving crossbody. She gets up and goes back on the turnbuckle, waiting for Alicia to get up, but as soon as she jumped to do a Molly-Go-Round, Alicia moves out of the way for Miroel to hit the mat before she goes up on the turnbuckle herself and connects with a Suicide Dive. She then knees multiple times to Miroel's head and then attempts a standing moonsault, but Miroel moves out of the way at the last second for her to pick her up and does a one-handed cartwheel into an arm drag.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE Great highflying work in these last few minutes.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES Both of them are having an equal amount of offense when it comes to hitting one another and the match has only just reached halfway.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE Trying to win the match of course, but they shouldn't wear themselves out so soon before Wrestlemania.
This lead to Miroel going for the pinfall.
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Alicia kicks out as it took a while for both ladies to get up as Miroel does and she goes for tilt a whirl DDT, but Alicia counters with the hurricanrana, leaving Miroel left on the mat after making a mistake. It was clear that it was nearly the end of the match as she waits for Miroel to get up from the mistake she made which lead to Alicia using a T-Bone exploder on Miroel which knocked her out, but Alicia didn't care due to the nature of being beaten the last time they went head to head as she does more damage with a Knelling Stunner to leave Miroel on the mat.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE This could be over here.
As it was as Miroel gets up, barely knowing where she was as she places Miroel on her shoulders to connect her knee right on Miroel's face.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES The Georgia drop.
Alicia wastes no time to go for the pinfall.
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GONG!!!
Alicia gets up from pinning Miroel and has her hand raised in the middle of the ring.
WWH RING ANNOUNCER | NICOLETTE CHRISTON Here's your winner by pinfall, Alicia Lukas.
Alicia goes on the mat, right up Miroel's face saying she's the best wrestler now.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES What a fantastic match between Miroel and Alicia.
PLAY BY PLAY COMMENTATOR | JACOB STEELE They gave each other everything they had in that match, Alicia was just more motivated tonight.
COLOR COMMENTATOR | ROSALYN FERNANDES Which you can't blame her after she lost to Miroel for the women's title some months ago, but now these girls have got matches at Wrestlemania to focus on right now.
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Post by God King Dune on Apr 16, 2018 7:31:50 GMT -5
You’re definitely ready to write matches here. As long as you sort of stick with the character’s moveset/wrestling style and make each one look strong you’ll do fine!
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Post by Wesley Anderson on Apr 16, 2018 15:39:35 GMT -5
My only comment is don't be afraid to express the emotions.
"OH MY GOD WHAT A MOVE!!"
"Oh my god what a move!"
See what I mean?
Other then that man you'd be great. This fed could use match writers in any sense.
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Post by Speede on Apr 24, 2018 0:22:41 GMT -5
... dear god, is this the same folks as WEW back in the day? I don't think I've seen ANYONE with quite that same style as what they have you using for the commentary team.
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Post by "The Animal" Samuel McPherson on Apr 25, 2018 4:52:38 GMT -5
I mentioned in the post above that those matches are from WWH fed.
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