Post by Leon "Purple" Hayze on Feb 11, 2018 10:05:01 GMT -5
Leon "Purple" Hayze
"Roughin it"
{At first, we can barely tell what's going on, the shot is very shaky for a few seconds. Before long, it seems the handheld camera steadies to see that the operator is Leon "Purple" Hayze; we're close in on his face, and can't see much else at first. The shot and the way the camera held is like a vlogger would do on YouTube.}
L"P"H: What's goin on Hayze Crazers? Yeah, I'm likin that—I think it'll catch on. So it's Sunday morning in Pittsburgh, and I've been walking around seeing the sites.
{Hayze has been walking the whole time, on a busy street, until he wanders over to a bench in a park and sits himself down. He sets his little handheld camera down, and after some shifting around and shakiness, he sets it down in such a way that he can fumble around in his jacket pocket to bring out...an inhaler. He shakes the thing up, and then takes two puffs on the thing, inhaling deeply for a moment, before picking the camera back up into 'Vlog view'.}
L"P"H: Don't worry WCF, your Hardcore champion doesn't have the asthma. Let's just say that, wherever I am, wherever I go, there you are—cannabis. Wink wink. Yeah, ya'll know what I'm gettin at. Crazy the innovations in...that field of research...one can apply to pick up his or her spirits. Her...interesting days in the WCF for yours truly. I think I'll get to that in a bit though, let's walk around now that I've given myself a nice little, green, respite.
{A quick cut. Cut in to Leon walking again, and stops in mid step, where he turns the camera way from himself and soon enough, we see Leon's in front of the Andy Warhol museum.}
L"P"H: Ya know, I've got a few hours to kill, I could go in there. But man, I think I've had enough of museums, considering last week's party. What a killer party too, just about everyone I could have thought came, even if they don't vibe with me very well. Luke Force brooding cause I've beaten his ass so many times that he hardly wrestlers anymore, ha ha ha. The "Golden God" even graced us mere mortals with his presence. He might say it was just to get a piece of art, but I think he wanted to get a glimpse of a future World champion that actually has some humility, and likebility: is that a word? Ehh fuck it, I like it. Anyway, you gotta have followers if you wanna be some deity ruling the heavens, and yet who would follow you? Ehh, whatever; I'll admit it, right now, he's outta my league—I've gotta get some major wins under my belt, and I figure that starts tonight; but we'll talk about that later. Man you had so many champions in there that if we all had brought our gold, shit woulda been blinding everyone, everywhere they went. Teo, the Omega and part Tag champ, William the People's champion, I mean it went on an one. Even had a awkward little moment where the former and current Alpha champion were rubbing shoulders together, if only briefly.
{Leon swings the camera back on himself, and after looking to the museum again, he shrugs his shoulders and keeps walking on. Quick cut; we're in front of a hot dog stand now.}
L"P"H: Hey Hayze crazers, gimme a moment, gotta get some fuel for my match tonight, ya know?
{Quick cut again, and Leon's positioned the camera so that he can be seen and talk hands free. He downs roughly half of the hot dog he has left in two large bites, chases it down with a large number of sips from a plain, white styrofoam cup, and after taking a napkin and dabbing it at his face, he grabs his 'inhaler' and takes another couple of puffs from it. A sloppy smile comes to his face soon after.}
L"P"H: Yeah, that hits the spot. And no more of this little, uhm....compact, little bit of goodness. I wouldn't have even s...well used anything today, but not gonna lie, I got a bit bored. Pittsburgh... I mean man, sorry if you're from here, but...well it's not my scene. If I could have kept myself more entertained, I might have stayed clear all day. Ya know, about 97 percent of the time, that's my motto. Still, these are pretty light amounts of goodness, so I know I'll be all right come tonight. Historic for me, in a few ways.
{Another jump cut, and we're at the front of a very slow moving platform, overlooking the picturesque, snow covered city.}
L"P"H: Ya know what, maybe I misspoke earlier; what a view! Slowly, every so slowly, we descend down here in the Duquesne Incline; a pretty interesting thing to do, and for a tidy 5 bucks, quite affordable. Ha ha ha, look at me, all the sudden I turned into a spokesman for the city. Yeah, I've changed my mind a bit on this place, and good. Anyway, as we descend from on high, that kinda makes me think of what Bonnie Blue had to say recently. More about, boo hoo, I didn't get my way, and I deserve this, and I deserve that. Look Blue, nice that you came to the party, first off. Secondly, life's not always a party; you should know this by now, especially in the volatile landscape that is the WCF. Lots of big names here, and if there's one star that will—not if—rise into the stratosphere with the names of other legends here is, like, yours truly man. I'm sure by the end of the year, with all the highs—pun very much intended—and some of the lows, but more highs than anything. It's like, I'm sure I'll be at the top of the list of names to beat. As in, if the person can actually score a pinfall or submission on me, that's gonna elevate their name big time.
{Hayze takes a sip of water from a bottle of Smart Water before continuing on.}
L"P"H: You had lofty goals Blue, and you didn't attain them. Not this time; I can absolutely seeing you being a World champ in the future. It's a shame you didn't get past...well I refuse to name another person as a god. Or disgrace the beliefs of the ancient Norse people by speaking the name of one of their gods. Balfore, you ain't an ancient or current god, trust me on that one. I'm not real religious, in fact, I'm atheist. I figure, ya never know what religion is right or wrong, if any of 'em are. Sorry if that upsets some of you out there, but that's just what I feel. Still, if there really is any gods, you sure as hell ain't it Balfore. A legend, sure but....ahh ya know what, I'm getting distracted—Balfore's not someone I'm probably not tangling with anytime soon. Maybe it's all connected though Blue, maybe I'm making sense and you just think I'm rambling. He's another legend, and quite frankly, I see you in the same light: congrats. Instead of whining about recent loses, just pick yourself up and continue that climb. Well...continue it next week, perhaps.
{Leon had the camera pointed outward, to watch the slowly decline over the city, but he swings the camera back to his face, goofy smile no where to be seen.}
L"P"H: I'm not a stepping stone, don't get it twisted Double B. I'm no one's stepping stone; just ask Luke Force, ask that idiot Samuel McPhereson. He was saying much the same as you this week. He was talking about how beating me is going to get him into the title picture with me. Nope...or maybe I should say naarp, or whatever. Man, what a weird cat. And let me tell ya Snaaarrrf, had you pinned me, that woulda been your golden ticket. Sure as hell woulda been happy to defend the Hardcore title against you. Ahh, but none of us are bookers, are we? I'm not: if Rabid says it's a regular match, well shit, guess it's a regular match. If he would have thought, ya know what, I'll book Hayze against Blue in a Hardcore title match, then I'd have Kendo Stick Pete and a number of his buddies ready and waiting for you Bon-Bon. Mmm, that sounds kinda good.
{Hayze's tough demeanor slips a little, as you can tell he's thinking of the chocolate treat for a moment. He shakes the thought away, takes a sip of water, and brings the no-nonsense expression back.}
L"P"H: Your not a booker either Blue, so just fuckin leave it at that. Had McPhereson had his title match against me, the results would have been much the same. It's all in a cycle, a few circles that connect around to the same points again. Legends and supposed gods, and those in between. Quite frankly Blue, you did have some of it right. That's where you're at again, isn't it? That's where I'm at right now, and there's an old song that goes, "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right—here I am, stuck in the middle with you." So your stuck in the mid card, but I don't see it that way. We've all got a journey to make, to be considered a legend in the WCF, perhaps to even be whispered to be be something like a wrestling god. Balfore and Singh think they are, and good for them. What a World title match; Sunday, February 25th, the battle of the delusional fuckheads! Ha ha ha, who is more deluded and wrong in his thinking? I guess we'll find that out in a few weeks. Me, I'll probably be successfully defending the Hardcore title, and ya kwo what Bonnie? That's just fine with me, I like where I'm at now. Maybe you slid down hill, according to you, but maybe you need to quit your whining and enjoy the memories of when you were at the top. Me, I've climbed up from the bottom, had my time as Alpha champion, and now quite loving the view from the middle of the mountain. A good view can be had of where I've been, and it's good to enjoy that view here and there, but really, I'm focusing my line of sight up to the top of the WCF.
{Quick cut: we've reached the bottom of the hill. Another cut, we're back on solid ground, at the edge of a large river. The city of Pittsburgh is in the distance, with his twin bridges spanning either side of a somewhat triangular cityscape. Leon swings the camera back at himself after a moment or two of taking the sight in.}
L"P"H: Stepping stones, let's swing back around to that point. You've got it reversed Blue; I mean to make an example out of YOU, step over you as I beat you tonight, and propel myself and the Hardcore championship even further up the moubtain. You've had your chances, and you just didn't have what it takes to plant your flag at the mountain top. Tough shit, I say. It's harsh WCF fans, but man, I'm tired of people bitchin and moaning over their losses. You really haven't seen me do it, have you? I might complain just a little, but really, I move on. Everyone loses now and then, and unfortunately Baby Blue, the colors of green and purple are going to wash over your canvas, and provide you with another lose once again. Like I said, after your loss to me, next week, maybe that's when you can start climbing again. You sure as hell aren't climbing over me though, that's for damn sure!
{Cut again, the camera is positioned so that we can see Leon skipping stones across the river, usually only to the effect of two or three times. Cut; a stone skips six or seven times, and gets quite a distance out into the river. Cut; Leon is pleased with himself, as he turns around and faces the camera, raising a hand in the air as he walks back towards us. Cut; the camera is back in Hayze's hand as he continues on.}
L"P"H: Ahh, that last effort was a 'bute, damn. Look, I'm getting a bit tired of talking—huh, surprise surprise actually, ah ha ha ha. It's o.k., I can poke fun at myself. Really, that's half the battle around here though isn't it, G. I. JOE!!! Heh, don't worry, I don't have an end of the episode moral. Well, maybe I do, actually. Sorry, not intentionally telling porkie pies, as the Brits like to say, but I just kinda came up with this spur of the moment. Seems to fit the situation. No, it's not tell a grown up if someone touches you in a bad place. Well I mean, do that, kids, if that happens. It's not don't pet stray dogs, because you never know if they're rabid and will bite. Again, just like not eating Tide Pods, this is sage advice that we can all stand to heed. WHOLLY SHIT, Ha ha hahahahahahh, oh my gawd, let me detour for a second. Member this?
{Leon points the camera at his phone, which he's loaded up to YouTube. Cut to the video:
Cut back to Leon's face.}
L"P"H: Ahh, those Joes. I mean, the real G I. Joes, those parody videos were funny as shit though. Sorry, for taking a few seconds out to watch one of those parodies with me, but that was my favorite one, and it just struck me: I had to watch it. Anyway, the real G. I. Joes; they always had a message for us kids growing up in the 80's. Yup, showing my age again, but that hasn't fazed me and never will. And, considering all the success I've had in the WCF thus far, it shouldn't be a point to pick me apart with either. You did that Blue, like Luke Force used to blabber on about, over and over, but the only thing that kept happening over and over was me beating his ass over and over again, ha ha hah.
{Leon shakes his head, the smile gone again, and though he doesn't look angry, he's giving us a serious look.}
L"P"H: Don't talk to strangers, don't lie, don't do drugs. Ooohhh, got me there. Well, actually, like Dave Chapelle once said, I don't do drugs, only weed. Truth is though, and I promise to not lie about this, a moral that just came to me is to not judge a book by it's cover. I'm not doing that with you Bonnie, because you still have some old school, in a bad way, idiots thinking that men and women can't compete in the same ring against each other. Shhhhiiiiitt, whatever. You kicked a lot of ass in that tournament, but not enough. However Blue, the same kind of thinking needs to swing back around to you. Don't judge me by my fun-loving self that I like to project most of the time. Don't let my being 40 fool you either; just two facets to the gem that is Leon "Purple" Hayze. You focus on those two points too long, and you'll see that my still swift, educated feet and fists will pummel your ass into submission. You focus on, I'm going to beat this druggie, dead beat stoner, and you'll not being paying attention to the reality of the match: I'm being quite serious in my desire to get another victory. Not just another victory though, a huge victory for me. Looks like your stock is sliding down a bit Bonnie, but when I beat you tonight, looks like my stock is going to rise. Ladies and gentlemen, if you haven't already, it's time to invest in LPH right now, cause the value in that is only going to climb and climb, from here on out!
{Leon's hand covers the camera, blocking most of the light out of the shot for a moment, before we cut to actual black to end today's episode of the Purple Hayze Craze.}