Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2007 16:10:57 GMT -5
Date and Time: Sunday, December 30th, 12:43 PM
Location: Driving along Third Avenue, New York City
Mere hours away from the impending return of WCF, Bobby Cairo and Nick Katsopolis are on their way to LaGuardia Airport to catch a flight to Pittsburgh. Katsopolis is driving Cairo's vintage 1972 Cadillac Eldorado as Cairo sits in the passenger seat and studies notes that his manager Bolts Quackenbush has prepared for him regarding his match against Skyler Striker. Traffic is heavy as always in New York, fortunately Nick and Cairo are only 5 miles from the airport, and their flight isn't for another hour.
Nick Katsopolis: "So you talked to Bolts, he's already in Pittsburgh, right?"
Bobby Cairo: "Yeah, he's out there for some home and gardening clinic. He wants to get an early start on planning for next year's tomato crop. I told him to be on the lookout for Lawnmower Jones. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!"
Nick Katsopolis: "He-he. Good one, Bobby."
Bobby Cairo: "Oh God, I've got that Letters To Cleo song stuck in my head."
Nick Katsopolis: "Which one, "I Want You To Want Me" or "Here And Now"?"
Bobby Cairo: "Uh, "Here And Now"."
Nick Katsopolis: "That's weird. How did that happen?"
Bobby Cairo: "Fucking YouTube. One minute I'm listening to those prank phonecalls with the celebrity soundboards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Pacino, stuff like that. The next minute I'm looking up alternative rock videos from the 1990's."
Nick Katsopolis: "So you were actively searching for Letters To Cleo?"
Bobby Cairo: "Yeah and Veruca Salt too. Interesting tidbit: Stacy Jones was the drummer for both Letters To Cleo AND Veruca Salt, then he went onto form American Hi-Fi. Another interesting tidbit: Keith Richards was the one who suggested the name American Hi-Fi."
Nick Katsopolis: "You got all of that useless trivia from YouTube?"
Bobby Cairo: "No that was from Wikipedia. Oh look, Wendy's! Let's stop!"
Nick Katsopolis: "They have Wendy's at LaGuardia."
Bobby Cairo: "But I'm hungry now, now, now! I want Wendy's! WEEENNNDDDY'SSSS!!!!!!!!"
Nick Katsopolis: "Okay, Bobby, calm down."
Nick pulls into the Wendy's parking lot and parks near the door. Nick sets the car alarm as Cairo skips to the Wendy's entrance like a little kid on a sugar high. Nick looks kind of embarrassed by this and keeps his head down so as to avoid being recognized. After a piss break, Cairo and Nick get in line.
Nick Katsopolis: "Are you sure that fast food is such a good idea, Bobby? You have a very important match against Striker tonight, what would Bolts say?"
Cairo rolls his eyes and sighs loudly.
Bobby Cairo: "I'm a large adult male human. Look at me, I'm a god. I'm built like Paul Burchill, for Christ's sake. Cameraman, zoom! Mean Gene, look compare our body. Ha-ha-ha-ha!!"
Nick Katsopolis: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I still don't think it's right."
Bobby Cairo: "Nick, listen, this is Wendy's. It's all fresh produce. My first WCF promo was shot at Wendy's, you remember that? "Bobby Cairo Burger", shot Valentine's day of 2006."
Nick Katsopolis: "Right and what was the idea behind that?"
Bobby Cairo: "It was inspired by that Wendy's commercial with Triple H. You remember that? Triple H had the Triple H burger. Verne Troyer - AKA Mini Me from the Austin Powers movies - had the Verne burger. And Bobby Cairo had the Bobby Cairo burger!"
Nick Katsopolis: "That's a great accomplishment, Bobby, congratulations."
Bobby Cairo: "Thank you. Perhaps one of these days you'll become famous and get your own hamburger!"
Now it's Nick's turn to roll his eyes. After a few more moments of similarly enlightening conservation, it's Cairo's and Nick's turn to place their order. The cashier is a young Hispanic male; his nametag reads "Julio".
Julio: "Welcome to Wendy's, may I take your order?"
Bobby Cairo: "Why don't you go first, Nick? I'm still deciding."
Nick studies the menu.
Nick Katsopolis: "I'll have the Mandarin chicken salad with ranch dressing and a large iced tea, please. Thank you."
Julio: "Okay, and you, sir?"
Bobby Cairo: "I'll have the Air Supply burger. Can I get that in a combo meal?"
Julio: "Ha-ha-ha! The Air Supply burger? What are you talking about?"
Bobby Cairo: "I saw the new Wendy's commercial and they were advertising the new Air Supply burger. You take a bite, it plays an audio clip of "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All." You know, the Air Supply burger."
Julio: "Sir, we don't sell an Air Supply burger. I've never even heard of such a thing."
Bobby Cairo: "I'd like to speak with your manager, please."
Julio walks over to the manager, a young African-American man in a maroon blazer. Julio converses with the manager and points at Cairo. The manager nods his head.
Nick Katsopolis: "Bobby, I think that commercial is a joke. They're trying to make a point about how they have the best hamburgers."
Bobby Cairo: "Silence, ingrate. I know what I saw and I want an Air Supply burger."
The manager approaches the counter, his nametag reads "Hank".
Hank: "Hello, sir, how can I help you today?"
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, I had some issues with that guy Julio. I suggest his prompt termination."
Hank: "I'm sorry, what was your issue with Julio?"
Bobby Cairo: "I tried to order an Air Supply burger, but Julio over there insisted that there's no such thing."
Hank: "That's true, sir, we don't sell an Air Supply burger."
Bobby Cairo: "But I saw the new Wendy's commercial?"
Hank: "The Air Supply burger is used in that commercial in a comedic respect to illustrate that OTHER restaurants use gimmicks, but WE focus on making the best hamburgers. As such there is no such thing as an actual Air Supply burger."
Bobby Cairo: "Are you trying to fuck with me? Do you know who the fuck I am?"
Hank: "Sir, I have to insist that you calm down and stop using profane language in the presence of our customers."
Bobby Cairo: "I asked you a question, CHUMP!! Do you know who I am?!?!"
Julio walks over to the counter and laughs at Cairo.
Julio: "Let me guess, you're the Juggernaut, bitch? Rawraaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!"
Hank: "Julio, you're not helping the situation. Take your break, I'll take to you about this later."
Bobby Cairo: "The Juggernaut, bitch? I'll show you a fucking Juggernaut you stupid--GAHH!!!"
Cairo tries to leap over the counter, but he's restrained by Nick and two African-American police officers that happen to be patronizing the restaurant.
Nick Katsopolis: "Bobby, calm down, man. He's not worth it. Get control of yourself!"
Bobby Cairo: "Let go of me, you pricks! I'm friends with the president, the governor and the mayor! I'm friends with the police chief! I'll have your jobs! And you, you'll never work at another fast food restaurant ever again, you stupid dickheads! You cocksuckers! I'm Bobby Cairo! Let go of me dammit!"
Cairo is dragged outside kicking and screaming by the two officers. The officers attempt to reason with Cairo as he struggles to escape.
Officer Jenkins: "Sir, we need you to calm down. This is a place of business, people come here for a tasty and nutritious alternative to McDonalds and Burger King. Please calm yourself. There's children here, think of the children! What kind of example are you setting for them?"
Slowly but surely Cairo's anger gradually subsides and he ceases to struggle. The officers release Cairo from their grip.
Officer Watkins: "That's good, Cairo, that's real good. Since nobody got punched today and nothing got broke, we're willing to let you off with a warning. But I don't want you coming back here and starting anymore trouble. I don't care who you are and who you know, we're not going to let you threaten people and cause all sorts of ruckus."
Cairo's eyes bulge out of their sockets and a wicked smile sneaks across his face as he reassures the officers.
Bobby Cairo: "Oh, I understand, officers. You won't be seeing ME cause anymore trouble around here. No, sir, it won't be ME! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-aaaaah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!"
Officer Watkins: "That's better, now go on get outta here."
Nick pats Bobby on the shoulder.
Nick Katsopolis: "Come on, Bobby, we've got a plane to catch."
Bobby Cairo: "Oh yes, planes. I like planes!"
Nick escorts Cairo back to the Caddy with his arm on Cairo's shoulder. Cairo stares straight ahead, eyes unblinking and his face expressionless.
Nick Katsopolis: "We're getting into the Caddy now, Bobby, ok? The Caddy? Do you remember the Caddy?"
Bobby Cairo: "Caddy? Yes, I like the Caddy."
Nick unlocks the passenger's side door and helps Cairo into his seat. Nick straps Cairo into his seatbelt and closes the door, then he walks over to the driver's side door and gets in.
Nick Katsopolis: "We're going to the airport now, Bobby."
Bobby Cairo: "Air... port. Air.. sup-ply. Here... and now?"
Location: Driving along Third Avenue, New York City
Mere hours away from the impending return of WCF, Bobby Cairo and Nick Katsopolis are on their way to LaGuardia Airport to catch a flight to Pittsburgh. Katsopolis is driving Cairo's vintage 1972 Cadillac Eldorado as Cairo sits in the passenger seat and studies notes that his manager Bolts Quackenbush has prepared for him regarding his match against Skyler Striker. Traffic is heavy as always in New York, fortunately Nick and Cairo are only 5 miles from the airport, and their flight isn't for another hour.
Nick Katsopolis: "So you talked to Bolts, he's already in Pittsburgh, right?"
Bobby Cairo: "Yeah, he's out there for some home and gardening clinic. He wants to get an early start on planning for next year's tomato crop. I told him to be on the lookout for Lawnmower Jones. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!"
Nick Katsopolis: "He-he. Good one, Bobby."
Bobby Cairo: "Oh God, I've got that Letters To Cleo song stuck in my head."
Nick Katsopolis: "Which one, "I Want You To Want Me" or "Here And Now"?"
Bobby Cairo: "Uh, "Here And Now"."
Nick Katsopolis: "That's weird. How did that happen?"
Bobby Cairo: "Fucking YouTube. One minute I'm listening to those prank phonecalls with the celebrity soundboards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Pacino, stuff like that. The next minute I'm looking up alternative rock videos from the 1990's."
Nick Katsopolis: "So you were actively searching for Letters To Cleo?"
Bobby Cairo: "Yeah and Veruca Salt too. Interesting tidbit: Stacy Jones was the drummer for both Letters To Cleo AND Veruca Salt, then he went onto form American Hi-Fi. Another interesting tidbit: Keith Richards was the one who suggested the name American Hi-Fi."
Nick Katsopolis: "You got all of that useless trivia from YouTube?"
Bobby Cairo: "No that was from Wikipedia. Oh look, Wendy's! Let's stop!"
Nick Katsopolis: "They have Wendy's at LaGuardia."
Bobby Cairo: "But I'm hungry now, now, now! I want Wendy's! WEEENNNDDDY'SSSS!!!!!!!!"
Nick Katsopolis: "Okay, Bobby, calm down."
Nick pulls into the Wendy's parking lot and parks near the door. Nick sets the car alarm as Cairo skips to the Wendy's entrance like a little kid on a sugar high. Nick looks kind of embarrassed by this and keeps his head down so as to avoid being recognized. After a piss break, Cairo and Nick get in line.
Nick Katsopolis: "Are you sure that fast food is such a good idea, Bobby? You have a very important match against Striker tonight, what would Bolts say?"
Cairo rolls his eyes and sighs loudly.
Bobby Cairo: "I'm a large adult male human. Look at me, I'm a god. I'm built like Paul Burchill, for Christ's sake. Cameraman, zoom! Mean Gene, look compare our body. Ha-ha-ha-ha!!"
Nick Katsopolis: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. I still don't think it's right."
Bobby Cairo: "Nick, listen, this is Wendy's. It's all fresh produce. My first WCF promo was shot at Wendy's, you remember that? "Bobby Cairo Burger", shot Valentine's day of 2006."
Nick Katsopolis: "Right and what was the idea behind that?"
Bobby Cairo: "It was inspired by that Wendy's commercial with Triple H. You remember that? Triple H had the Triple H burger. Verne Troyer - AKA Mini Me from the Austin Powers movies - had the Verne burger. And Bobby Cairo had the Bobby Cairo burger!"
Nick Katsopolis: "That's a great accomplishment, Bobby, congratulations."
Bobby Cairo: "Thank you. Perhaps one of these days you'll become famous and get your own hamburger!"
Now it's Nick's turn to roll his eyes. After a few more moments of similarly enlightening conservation, it's Cairo's and Nick's turn to place their order. The cashier is a young Hispanic male; his nametag reads "Julio".
Julio: "Welcome to Wendy's, may I take your order?"
Bobby Cairo: "Why don't you go first, Nick? I'm still deciding."
Nick studies the menu.
Nick Katsopolis: "I'll have the Mandarin chicken salad with ranch dressing and a large iced tea, please. Thank you."
Julio: "Okay, and you, sir?"
Bobby Cairo: "I'll have the Air Supply burger. Can I get that in a combo meal?"
Julio: "Ha-ha-ha! The Air Supply burger? What are you talking about?"
Bobby Cairo: "I saw the new Wendy's commercial and they were advertising the new Air Supply burger. You take a bite, it plays an audio clip of "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All." You know, the Air Supply burger."
Julio: "Sir, we don't sell an Air Supply burger. I've never even heard of such a thing."
Bobby Cairo: "I'd like to speak with your manager, please."
Julio walks over to the manager, a young African-American man in a maroon blazer. Julio converses with the manager and points at Cairo. The manager nods his head.
Nick Katsopolis: "Bobby, I think that commercial is a joke. They're trying to make a point about how they have the best hamburgers."
Bobby Cairo: "Silence, ingrate. I know what I saw and I want an Air Supply burger."
The manager approaches the counter, his nametag reads "Hank".
Hank: "Hello, sir, how can I help you today?"
Bobby Cairo: "Hank, I had some issues with that guy Julio. I suggest his prompt termination."
Hank: "I'm sorry, what was your issue with Julio?"
Bobby Cairo: "I tried to order an Air Supply burger, but Julio over there insisted that there's no such thing."
Hank: "That's true, sir, we don't sell an Air Supply burger."
Bobby Cairo: "But I saw the new Wendy's commercial?"
Hank: "The Air Supply burger is used in that commercial in a comedic respect to illustrate that OTHER restaurants use gimmicks, but WE focus on making the best hamburgers. As such there is no such thing as an actual Air Supply burger."
Bobby Cairo: "Are you trying to fuck with me? Do you know who the fuck I am?"
Hank: "Sir, I have to insist that you calm down and stop using profane language in the presence of our customers."
Bobby Cairo: "I asked you a question, CHUMP!! Do you know who I am?!?!"
Julio walks over to the counter and laughs at Cairo.
Julio: "Let me guess, you're the Juggernaut, bitch? Rawraaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!"
Hank: "Julio, you're not helping the situation. Take your break, I'll take to you about this later."
Bobby Cairo: "The Juggernaut, bitch? I'll show you a fucking Juggernaut you stupid--GAHH!!!"
Cairo tries to leap over the counter, but he's restrained by Nick and two African-American police officers that happen to be patronizing the restaurant.
Nick Katsopolis: "Bobby, calm down, man. He's not worth it. Get control of yourself!"
Bobby Cairo: "Let go of me, you pricks! I'm friends with the president, the governor and the mayor! I'm friends with the police chief! I'll have your jobs! And you, you'll never work at another fast food restaurant ever again, you stupid dickheads! You cocksuckers! I'm Bobby Cairo! Let go of me dammit!"
Cairo is dragged outside kicking and screaming by the two officers. The officers attempt to reason with Cairo as he struggles to escape.
Officer Jenkins: "Sir, we need you to calm down. This is a place of business, people come here for a tasty and nutritious alternative to McDonalds and Burger King. Please calm yourself. There's children here, think of the children! What kind of example are you setting for them?"
Slowly but surely Cairo's anger gradually subsides and he ceases to struggle. The officers release Cairo from their grip.
Officer Watkins: "That's good, Cairo, that's real good. Since nobody got punched today and nothing got broke, we're willing to let you off with a warning. But I don't want you coming back here and starting anymore trouble. I don't care who you are and who you know, we're not going to let you threaten people and cause all sorts of ruckus."
Cairo's eyes bulge out of their sockets and a wicked smile sneaks across his face as he reassures the officers.
Bobby Cairo: "Oh, I understand, officers. You won't be seeing ME cause anymore trouble around here. No, sir, it won't be ME! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-aaaaah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!"
Officer Watkins: "That's better, now go on get outta here."
Nick pats Bobby on the shoulder.
Nick Katsopolis: "Come on, Bobby, we've got a plane to catch."
Bobby Cairo: "Oh yes, planes. I like planes!"
Nick escorts Cairo back to the Caddy with his arm on Cairo's shoulder. Cairo stares straight ahead, eyes unblinking and his face expressionless.
Nick Katsopolis: "We're getting into the Caddy now, Bobby, ok? The Caddy? Do you remember the Caddy?"
Bobby Cairo: "Caddy? Yes, I like the Caddy."
Nick unlocks the passenger's side door and helps Cairo into his seat. Nick straps Cairo into his seatbelt and closes the door, then he walks over to the driver's side door and gets in.
Nick Katsopolis: "We're going to the airport now, Bobby."
Bobby Cairo: "Air... port. Air.. sup-ply. Here... and now?"
