BoudleBot Rebooted (Part 3 of 3)
Oct 13, 2017 11:49:43 GMT -5
Stephen Singh and Bonnie Blue like this
Post by Alex Richards on Oct 13, 2017 11:49:43 GMT -5
sorry I got called into work so I'm forced to post this out of order. Please read L's and Bonnie's part first so this makes more sense. Hope you enjoy
Part 1- Boudlebot Rebooted 3- Booted Harder
Our hero Zima'Lon duped by the devious, or maybe more savant like Marc Hogan are about to pull off the heist of a century. Or at least the week, there have been some big heists. Deep beneath the Guiliano hotel & casino, locked in a secret high tech vault lays the remains of the boudlebot. There is only one problem. Would do you really want to spend all this time listening to Marc Hogan? Here's a sample of the type of things he said.
Marc Hogan: When we get the boudlebot up and running I'm gonna make it dance the robot... pantless! Now that'll be a show to end all shows babygirl.
Marc Hogan: All they had to do was change one letter. One stinking letter of my last name and it would have been legendary. So that's why I burnt down my trashcan double parents house!
Marc Hogan: YOU NEVER PUT KETCHUP ON A HOT DOG YOU TRASH CAN BOUDLE ALIEN!
Zima'Lon: I wasn't even talking about hot dogs where did that come from?
Marc Hogan: Mustard! Mustard always mustard! Write that down if you want to be a hotdog king.
Zima'Lon: I'm a girl.
Marc Hogan: I've heard that before.
Yeah.. let's skip ahead to the end shall we? Spare you all those grisly details?
We see Marc Hogan and Zima'Lon in front of a locked vault.
Zima'Lon: Shouldn't we have brought tools?
Marc Hogan: I got everything we need right there Babygirl!
Marc pelvic thrusts in the direction of the large cooler he carried into the heist. He reaches inside and pulls out.. a stuffed cat?
Zima'Lon: Aww.. that's cute.
Marc Hogan: It is not cute! It's treacherous! I wasn't sure if I should call this the Greater Catsby or the Disconnector. But either way it's my secret weapon babygirl. It's gonna jam up the codes on this lock so badly you'll think it was the rules for the final destination briefcase! You got your ticket?
Zima'Lon: Why would I need a ticket?
Marc Hogan starts twisting the head of the cat pointing it in the direction of the vault door. He curses then continues. Then does it some more.. finally he smacks the cat against the vault.. then with a pelvic thrust the door finally swings open.
Marc Hogan: I have done it!
The deranged fan boy storms the vault.. collecting in his arms the broken and damaged parts of the boudlebot laughing like a kid on Christmas. Finally he notices the brains of the operation. He scoops it up. Marc holds the damaged CPU in his hand tears of joy streaming down his face. He turns to Zima'Lon tears of joy streaming down his face and getting caught in his obvious fake mustache.
Marc Hogan: This is my holy grail babygirl! Now we are going to make all the trash can boudles who messed with me sorry!
Zima'Lon: Wait.. that doesn't sound like we discussed. You spoke of this great technology.
Marc Hogan: I lied babygirl!
Marc does one of those trademark pelvic thrusts.. then does another.. and another. It seems like he could thrust all night but then he remembers he has more important things on his mind.
Zima'Lon: I don't know if I can be a part of this any longer.
Marc Hogan: It's much too late for that babygirl! You're already in too deep. Which is what tends to happen when you're with the hot dog of treachery! Besides I don't need much from a trashcan boudle alien such as yourself. I just need you to make me one of those suits.
Marc gestures to the space suit and mask Zima'Lon is wearing to allow her to survive in Earth's atmosphere.
Marc Hogan: You make me one of those suits and I'll use it to house the greatest gift to man! It will give life to a newer, more powerful boudlebot! A boudlebot to end all Boudlebots! You just wait babygirl..
Zima'Lon: You do know that I didn't create the suit. No offense but this doesn't seem like much of a plan to me.
Marc Hogan: YOU DARE QUESTION THE PLAN OF TREACHERY?
Zima'Lon: Why is everything is something of treachery?
Marc Hogan: It's obvious you trashcan boudle! I think aliens like you must lose something in the translation! So translate this..
PELVIC THRUST!
Zima'Lon: What does that even mean?
Marc Hogan: It means..
PELVIC THRUST!
Zima'Lon: I don't know what you mean but I do know this. I didn't make the suit. L did.
Marc Hogan: That's bad news for you then babygirl. I'll just have to steals yours.
Zima'Lon: But I'll die.
Marc Hogan: That ain't my problem babygirl. My idol always turned on everyone eventually. Stabbing you in the back within hours of meeting you.. damn he would be proud if he could see me now.
Of course this is the time Marc finds himself interrupted.. by the Guardians.
Bonnie Blue: This is why I hate Vegas... filled with weirdoes!
Alex Richards: Hey! I resent weird being used in a negative term!
Bonnie Blue: What else would you call this guy?
Alex Richards: Okay. Point taken.
L Verez: Guys.. I think we are missing the bigger picture.. the fact that this guy kidnapped my partner. Who does he think he is... area 51.. you can just grab an old alien you want! Especially not Zima'Lon.. not on my watch.
Alex Richards: Not to mention the shady shit he's up to.
Bonnie Blue: Yeah.. my father Johnny Reb helped create the Boublebot.. which then went on a murder spree! We don't want it to fall in the wrong hands.. and you are definitely the wrong hands.. whoever you are.
Marc Hogan: I'm Marc Hogan... I am the president of every Logan fan club in this United States! But that's not enough to show my devotion! So instead I'm rebuilding the boudlebot.. and making it bigger.. and better than ever! Finally I will have.. the greatest piece of Logan memorabilia ever!
L Verez: Did you not hear the part about how it murders people?
Marc Hogan: It's the lord of treachery! That's to be expected. Besides I am can tame him!
L Verez: This guy is nuts.
Alex Richards: Welcome to the WCF.
Marc Hogan: This boudlebot will do exactly what I say. Unlike the real Logan who I met once. It was September 9, 2010, Phoenix, Arizona. I'll never forget the day. I shook his hand, he called me a boudle then stole my wallet. It was found in a strip club, credit cards maxed out, money missing. GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
Bonnie Blue: We have a benefit to get to so let's finish this guy off quick shall we?
Marc Hogan: Ohh.. I don't think so! NEVER BRING A GUARDIAN TO A GUN FIGHT YOU BOUDLES!
Marc reaches into his cooler and.. it's filled with hot dogs. He looks embarrassed.
Marc Hogan: it seems like I forgot the gun. Ah well.. I made my choice.
Marc eats a hot dog.
Marc Hogan: Anyone else want one?
Alex Richards: I'll take one.
The other Guardians shrug. They really aren't surprised that Alex would eat in the middle of a conflict. He wolfs down the dog.
Alex Richards: Hmm.. not bad. A little stale though.
Marc Hogan: HA! YOU FOOL! NEVER LOGAN AN AGENT OF TREACHERY! IT WAS POISONED!
Marc waits for Alex to fall down. Instead he yawns.
Alex Richards: Eh. I've had worse.
Marc Hogan: Damnit.. you were supposed to fall down.. the Guardians were supposed to come to your aid and I was supposed to escape!
Bonnie Blue: Yeah.. we're the Guardians. This may be your house and your rules. But that don't mean we have to follow them.
Marc Hogan: Oh.. yeah well I have a back up plan. I grabbed the wrong alien. L Verez.. you're that space tranny ain't ya! You're my type of gal.. err dude errr I dunno. But either way you got both of the things I like! So how about this we blow this popsicle stand babygirl then we both whip out our hot dogs of treachery and compare sizes then we..
L doesn't let him get in another word. She smacks him with the Big Bang.. her discus bicycle kick then starts slamming Marc's head off the cement floor again and again and again. She starts to unload with punches bloodying Hogan until Alex, Zima'Lon and finally Bonnie pulls L off of the would be thief.
L Verez: I don't know what came over me. I've met some horrible milks before but nothing that low class. Nothing that crass nothing..
Bonnie Blue: Like we said earlier. Welcome to the WCF.
L Verez: This is what the WCF is like? Seems ghastly.
Alex Richards: Why do you think Bonnie and I left?
Bonnie Blue: The good news is you handled it perfectly. In the WCF everyone is disrespectful if you don't beat them senseless. You have to show them you aren't someone they want to mess with.
Alex Richards: After XIII nobody is going to want to mess with the Guardians when they see what we do to Everest.. and Frank Veneble.
L Verez: Normally I'm all about positive vibes. But it appears this place is not one for that.
Bonnie Blue: I knew you were a quick learner L. Now how about you and Zima take this piece of trash off to jail.
Bonnie roughly drags Marc to his feet and pushes him in the direction of L.
Marc Hogan: Alright.. alright.. I'll go to jail. Just don't hit me again. Okay.. fuck.. my name isn't even Marc Hogan. I'm really an uber driver from Seattle. My real name is Steven King.
Alex Richards: With that name you could have been a fan of Everest.
Marc Hogan: SHUT UP! FUCK YOU BOUDLE!
L Verez: I will hit you again if you disrespect my friend like that milk.
Alex Richards: Nah I had that coming. Why would anyone be an Everest fan.
Bonnie Blue: You could have been a fan of the horror novelist though.
Marc Hogan: I thought of that. He spells his name different.
L Verez: Alright, I'll take him to jail. But fair warning I'm going to ask Zima what you do to her in the last few hours and if you..
Zima'Lon: He just annoyed me.
L Verez: As long as you're alright.
L and Zima'Lon starts to drag off the deranged Logan fan until Alex stops him.
Alex Richards: Just a second. You know.. I knew a Marc once.. Marc Mayhem. That guy was bad ass.. you sir are no Marc Mayhem
And with that.. the Logan fan weeps.
Marc Hogan: I wanted to be his new partner.
L mercifully takes him away leaving Alex and Bonnie with the remains of the boudlebot.
Bonnie Blue: You know.. you have a gift with knowing just what to say to completely destroy someone.
Alex Richards: Just wait and see what I came up with for Everest and Franky. Talk about verbal destruction.
Bonnnie gestures towards the wreck of the boudlebot.
Bonnie Blue: Speaking of destruction. We should destroy this.
Alex Richards: We should.
Bonnie Blue: If it gets into the wrong hands.
Alex Richards: Like it almost did.
Bonnie Blue: But it is.. good technology.
Alex Richards: That's what I was thinking.
Bonnie Blue: You never know when you might need a murderous robot on your side.
Alex Richards: I do have all that storage under my bar, the Drunken Dragon. I would hate for it to go to waste. And you know.. my girlfriend Becky is pretty good with computers. Maybe she can get this running again.
Bonnie Blue: You read my mind partner. We are champions for a reason after all.
And with that.. the Guardians begin collecting the pieces of the bot as the scene fades out.
Part 2- Shoot it and Boot it
Alex Richards: How about a little music to set the mood?
Alex Richards: You know the Guardians have been in some horrible places, fought against some horrible things. Killer robots, cults, evil mayors of Chicago, aliens bent on destroying the world, the list goes on and on. We have even been to Delaware. But right now.. being back in World Championship Federation.. that is certainly up there on the list of horrible places! But I ain't complaining. We're Guardians that what we do. Anything terrible situation out there.. we show up.. and we conquer. For example that Marc Hogan guy and his attempt to bring back the boudlebot. Did anyone really think we were going to fail? Of course not! We're Guardians that's the sort of thing we do! We see evil.. we conquer... we move on.
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: I'm really looking forward to the part where we conquer. And especially the part where we move on. But I guess it could be worse. This is a XIII show so it's not an actual WCF event. I guess that makes it a little better. But The Guardians wouldn't be here if we weren't here to prove something. Friday night we show Everest.. at least what's left of them.. how a real stable operates.
Alex Richards: This is supposed to be an all star game of sort isn't it. But not one of those lame baseball all star games. A real all star game like...
Alex thinks for a second and thinks of a very obviously Alex Richards sort of a thought.
Alex Richards: Shark infested waters monopoly! The object being to capture all the rocks big enough to perch on, get yourself a rock monopoly and hopefully not get eaten.
Alex grins again.
Alex Richards: Now why did I say that? Nobody else's head would have instantly jumped there. But you gotta admit that beats the hell out of any lame sporting all star game don't it? That's what Alex Richards brings to the ring. A truly unique, truly special outlook. Our opponents this week have never faced someone like me. Or someone like my partners for that matter. Maybe Frank Veneble can imagine it. But I can't see either Steven Singh or Ethan King having even the slightest clue of knowing how to handle me, let alone my tag team partners, the transgendered alien protector of the universe L Verez, and the time traveling hardcore queen Bonnie Blue. But I'm getting off track.
Alex pours himself a drink, in a boot, of Zim-Quila. If you didn't know that you have no business reading an Alex Richards roleplay. Just saying.
Alex Richards: This is supposed to be elite UCI supergroup versus elite WCF supergroup. The Guardians against Everest. Only one problem. It's not. Now make no mistake about it. The Guardians.. we are holding up our part. We are not just AN elite supergroup. We are THE elite supergroup in the UCI. We are the standard all other groups tried to measure up to, but failed. The Syndicate, led by David Sanchez, you remember David don't you Everest? We sent him and his mayor of Chicago act running back to the WCF. The Brotherhood, lead by Kevin Bishop. They not only couldn't unseat us, we literally destroyed them, dissolved them. Something nobody in the WCF could do. Three world championships held by three different members. Two of those world titles are on this team by the way. That's dominance! That's what a supergroup does!
Alex Richards: Then you have Everest. People think you guys are a supergroup. Former world champion, current hardcore champion, winner of the king of trios tournament, last trios champions. But really though you just have the people fooled. See, the Guardians we are a REAL elite team. We formed because we're a collection of bad asses who can beat anyone on the planet, together as a team or individually. The Guardians are the best of the best. But you guys in Everest. That's hardly true now is it? David Sanchez lost his final destination briefcase to Frank Patrick Veneble. That should make this match a little awkward this week now shouldn't it? Ethan King was fighting and struggling against the likes of the legendary Dag Riddick and Adam Young, trying to get his hands on the internet championship. Steven Singh failed not once.. but twice to capture the world title. Actually managing to get himself banned from ever receiving another world title match.
Alex shrugs.
Alex Richards: Wrestling. Like there's any chance that stip would get followed. But the point is, The Guardians formed because Bonnie Blue, Jay Omega, Polar Phantasm and later me, were the best wrestlers the UCI had to offer. Everest formed because you guys had to do something to try and avoid getting lost in the shuffle. Every member of the Guardians could get it done on their way. And we proved it. Ethan, Steven.. you needed Everest because on your lonesome you weren't good enough. Not by a long shot. The Guardians set the bar in the UCI. Everyone wants to knock off the Guardians because we are are the greatest stable in UCI history. Everest? You guys are simply trying desperately to catch up. The Guardians are unique. Everest? You have been done before. You have been done to death. You are just another stable teaming up to try and knock off Pantheon. And like the ten million clones before you you just come off as second rate. To be honest I preferred you when you were Imperium. At least that stable had Natural Ice Beckman and Bobby Cairo. Two former world champions that people actually remember. Ethan King? Steven Singh? Nobody is gonna remember you guys in six months. Shit, you're barely remembered now... and you were the most recent champion Singh. No wonder you guys formed. You barely got started and you are already overshadowed. Compared to the new champion Johnny Rabid, no one even thinks of you as a champion Singh.
Alex snorts.
Alex Richards: Now I hate Rabid but at least he's an original. OF course you're going to be forgotten. Because you guys are just another cliche! Don't believe me? What was the first words you uttered Steven when you formed Everest? Pantheon time of death: February 26th, 10:14 pm. Seeing as Johnny Rabid is a member of Pantheon it looks like your boast may have been a little premature. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say your attempt at killing Pantheon failed miserably. What a surprise. You did the same old crap everyone else did and ultimately failed. Who would have seen that coming?
Alex Richards: Like I said at the beginning. The Guardians are originals! This is the secret to our success! This is why an army of impersonators like Everest is never going to get the best of us! Well you failed at taking out the elite WCF stable, Pantheon. So now you get to try your hand against the elite UCI stable in The Guardians. What makes you think this is going to go any differently for you?
Alex Richards: Shit.. you couldn't even get three members of Everest to fight The Guardians! That speaks volumes for your little group Ethan and Steven. You couldn't muster three fucking members! The Guardians.. people join the UCI in order to align themselves with the Guardians. Shit, L Verez tracked me down because she wanted in the Guardians that badly. Because people know the Guardians are the people you want to be with if you want to be successful. Everest.. they are the group you join.. if you have no better options. And apparently now you have fallen so far that not being in a group is now a better option then being a member of Everest! And why would people team with you anyways. Bale Pascal was a new wrestler to the WCF. He even captured the People's Championship. You wanted him.. until you didn't.
Alex Richards: How about a little fucking loyalty, huh? That's what's really wrong with you people in Everest. You don't care about each other. You just care about yourselves. About you getting ahead. You think Bonnie didn't celebrate when I won the world title? You think I didn't celebrate just as hard when she did? We're a real team. When we get in that ring, L, Bonnie, and I know we can rely on each other. Ethan and Steven, can they say the same? Does that question even need an answer? Of course not! It's obvious! The two that ARE a member of a stable together probably can't say for sure the other one isn't going to turn on them. And that isn't even mentioning Frank Veneble who not only isn't a member of Everest but probably is less then thrilled about Corey Black forcing him to team with those two. Because you know when they lose, and they will lose, they are instantly going to blame Frank for their defeat. Because of course they will. Scumbags like Everest, they have a million excuses. Anything to hide the fact that might be at blame, that they might not measure up. But you can't fool me. Your teamwork doesn't measure up to the Guardians, your talent doesn't measure up to the Guardians. Let's face it, your shit is subpar is every way.
Alex Richards: Especially in the most important way. See, there are all sorts of reasons the Guardians are going to wreck shop at XIII like Jason Voorhees chasing teens through the woods. You know what the most important, most obvious one is? We are a real team! Our opponents, the so called Everestish team, they are not a team. They are just three guys who happen to be teamed up. They have no loyalty to each other. Because of this they have no real motivation to win this match. To them this is just another match. Because they don't care about the legacy of Everest. Well we damn sure care about the legend of the Guardians. We are intent on growing that legend. We have dominated in the UCI since the moment we started. Now, at XIII. We are going to dominate in the WCF as well. For you guys this is just a six man tag. For us.. this is a chance to show why the Guardians are the best team not just in the UCI, but in the world. Let's face it.. after this week everyone is gonna know that we are the real Earth's Mightiest Stable!
Alex tries his best to keep a straight face, but ultimately laughs, fails.
Alex Richards: Nah, I'm just joking. Pantheon can keep that moniker. They earned it. We create our own paths, our own legends. We don't want to leech off on Pantheon like inferior, less creative stables named after mountains might do. Shit, they don't want to, they need to. Because truth be told, they simply good. They aren't legends, they aren't dominant champions. This is why they huddle together, trying desperately to hold on. Because as far as a top notch unit goes.. they are simply pretenders. The Guardians.. we are the real deal. We are the Guardians.. we don't have to compare ourselves to Pantheon. We are our own thing. Everest.. they have to desperately mention Pantheon in order to give themselves some shred of credibility. Come Friday the 13th we'll show them the difference between a real deal elite stable and some pale initiators. We don't settle for just being champions of earth anyways. The Guardians aim higher. We are legends in 485 different Solar systems, most of which I can't even pronounce. But they damn sure know us anyways. After this week Ethan, Steven, and FPV will damn sure never forget us either.
Alex Richards: I would talk about Everest the group some more but I think I'll give up on that now. There is no comparison between them and the Guardians anyways. It's like comparing Kimbo Slice to Bruce Lee. One talks a good game, the other simply destroys the poser. Actually that's unfair.. I don't even think you guys really talked a good game. But I'm not going to take any chances, even the very slight chance we get upset. Last time I appeared at XIII Johnny Rabid defeated me. Another loss is so not going to happen. Especially when The Guardians are being represented. So I'm going to look at each individual member of the Everest-ish team as well.
Alex Richards: Frank Patrick Veneble. I'm going to start with the best. The only two time world champion in the match. Well at least until I regain the UCI world title next week at Killing Floor.
Alex flashes a shit eating grin.
Alex Richards: Sorry Bonnie.
Alex Richards: If Steven and Ethan would actually let Frank lead this match might be a challenge. But it's obvious their egos would never allow that. So I don't even have to talk about that happening. Everest doesn't even listen to each other, let alone people outside of their little group. But really, let's be real Franky. Admit it you're on the wrong side. You would much rather be with us wouldn't you? This week the Guardians stopped some nutjob from unleashing a plague of Boudlebots on the world. Speaking of Plagues.. why are you in this match instead of David Sanchez. Oh, I know why. Because Ethan and Steven mocked him for not winning Ultimate Showdown until he lost his will to compete. They did that to their teammate. They did that to one of their founding members. What do you think they are going to do to you, Franky? Now I know a few things. I know you're too honorable to turn on your teammates. And I know that they are immediately going to blame you for the loss. Even though everyone knows it's going to be their fault. Just do one thing for us Veneble. How about a couple of Boom Headshots for your former partners when they get in your face after the loss. Giant Spaghetti Monster knows they deserve it.
Alex Richards: But even though I think you're the best.. on your team.. that isn't actually that big of a compliment. Sorry dude. At your best you were pretty damn awesome. But that was 2012. Five year is a long time. Sure, you were world champion this year. But anyone could have been if they were the one to face Jason O'Neil.. whose title reign will forever be debated by hardcore wrestling fans as to whether he is indeed the worst world champion of all time. This is the guy you beat. But hey even though he's nothing special you still had to win the match to win the title.
Alex Richards: Just like you had to win the match to win the world title in the UCI. When you were awarded a world title shot against Bonnie Blue at Summermania. Man, were people pissed about that. Shit a dozen people must have ranted about how unfair that was. But I wasn't one of them. You know why? Because I knew it didn't matter if you received a world title shot because there was no way you were beating Bonnie Blue. And at the end of Summermania Bonnie was still the champion. So I ask you this Frank. If you couldn't beat Bonnie how on earth are you going to beat Bonnie, myself, and L this week? You couldn't beat one Guardian, beating three seems damn near impossible don't it? Then there's your biggest problem Frankie.. yourself.
Alex Richards: In the last year you were forced to join The Brotherhood after you lost a People's title match to Kevin Bishop. Now you're forced to team up with Everest. You've lost control of your own career Veneble. What happened to you? People used to think you were a future hall of famer. Now you've reduced to excepting scraps and teaming up with people you despise just to get on the XIII card. Corey probably did you a favor. He probably feels bad about the beating he gave you during his retirement tour. If that's true he's really going to feel bad after the beating the Guardians give you this Friday. You're still young Frank, you're younger then I am, you still have time to turn your career around again. But this week... this week isn't gonna help. In fact it's going to hurt... a lot.
Alex Richards: But there are two more members of the opposing team this week. Unfortunately all my respect is now gone. This is gonna be painful. Mainly for me having to try and make things interesting while facing two of the most overrated, bland, boring wrestlers in the world. Ah well I guess I should get started. So Ethan King, huh? I remember you. Didn't you used to be a member of the Pride? I think I'm the only one who remembers that for all you guys accomplished. Then you went and became a charter member of Everest. But Thomas Bates even did the mountain thing before you guys. What else? You're the hardcore champion. That should be impressive, right? Lots of great wrestlers have held the hardcore title. Like yours truly. The only difference is, I won the hardcore title by defeating four men, three of whom could be considered hall of fame caliber. You “won” the hardcore title by losing in the ultimate showdown. Mount Everest is what you guys want to compare yourselves to? You don't seem like much more then a run of the mill hill to me. Now I know you're going to say.. but but.. I lasted longer then everyone else in War, that Everest just won the king of trios tournament.. that.. that.. But you know maybe I just have a higher standard of excellence then you guys do. You want to claim to be the best. You actually have to be the best, be a world champion, like I was in the UCI, instead of collecting runner up trophies like the also ran you are.
Alex Richards: The truth hurts don't it Ethan? How happy are you that you're teaming with Steven Singh? Because as long he was world champion you had a built in excuse as to why you never won the world title. Unfortunately now it's time to face facts. You never won the world title.. because you fucking can't. Your signature match is probably a draw against Andre Holmes where you retained the hardcore championship. A match that most people thought you were lucky to escape with your title. Well let me tell you something King.. I beat Andre Holmes... twice. That's why I'm on a new level above you. When we step in the ring you'll know that. It will soon become painfully obvious. Then you'll tag out and let your partners take the heat. It's what you do. You sacrificed the Pride, and one of these days Everest will go by the wayside as well. I'm just hoping that the Guardians speed that day up. Because it can't happen too soon!
Alex Richards: I saved you for last Steven Singh. Because you're the Rodney Dangerfield of the WCF. You don't get no respect. All you ever wanted to do was be “The Superstar” But you weren't.. were you? Nope.. you've always been “Thievin'” Steven. You were world champion Steven, but you never got the respect you thought you deserved as champion did you? That's because you did it the wrong way. People like you.. say the means don't matter. It's only the results that do. But you're wrong. You know what the problem with being a cheater is? People know why you're cheating. You're cheating because you aren't good enough to do things on your own. Me? I won the world title in the UCI by defeating respected former WCF competitor Howard Black. I defended that title against sure fire future hall of famer Jayson Price. At least he's a sure fire hall of famer after Seth Lerch drinks himself to death. Well unless Price does first that is. The fact remains, people respected my title reign because I beat a great champion and took on all comers.
Alex Richards: You? You got your butt kicked twice by Joey Flash. Got barred from competing for the world title ever again, then snuck your way into the ultimate showdown. You were in a stable called Everest who claimed.. we all look like ants to you. Only thing is.. we don't. We're all giants who you have to cheat to cut down to size. Either you don't have confidence in your own abilities or you have limited talent which is it Singh? I guess you don't have to answer that because I'll find out for myself just how are you lacking this Friday the 13th. Sooner or later though Steven everyone learns the truth about you then leaves. The Captain did, and just last week the Very Big Security team left you as well. Your security team left Everest like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Although since they fled to Johnny Rabid I guess it's like rats fleeing to other rats but I digress.
Alex Richards: They see the writing on the wall and so does everyone else. Everest's prime didn't last long, Everest wouldn't be all that fondly remembered, but nevertheless Everest is in the twilight of it's career. After this week's defeat The Guardians are going to send you guys into the Sarah Twilight of your careers. Bonnie, L, and I are the greatest trio in the UCI. There is no weak link amongst us. Bonnie and I are world champions. Now I know this is the WCF and someone is gonna claim world titles only count here. That I'm not a real world champion and neither is Bonnie. it just so happens I beat a two time WCF world champion in Oblivion just last week. I also beat him here, in the WCF, during the Ultimate Showdown as well. You know what that proves? That I can beat the stuffing out of a world champion no matter where I am. You best be keeping that in mind Steven Singh, you too Frankie.
Alex Richards: As for L, she's been wrestling less then 6 months and at Rite of Passage three weeks ago she faced Corey Black. Legendary Creeping Death and held him to a draw. I know I didn't do that in the first few months I wrestled in the WCF. You know what that proves? That chick is a bad ass. Of course she is.. she's a Guardian. Like I said.. our team has no weak links.. and Everest-ish.. they aren't even a team. There's really nothing more I have to say is there?
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: Ah hell.. this is probably gonna be the last XIII I'm ever on. I should say one more thing. My partners in the Guardians.. they might not have much respect for Corey Black. But I do. I remember how much Corey helped my career when I was a member of Pantheon trying to break through. So Corey.. consider this my tribute to you. Everest... ish... are you gonna suck my dick or what? Hell yeah you are.
Fade to Black
Part 1- Boudlebot Rebooted 3- Booted Harder
Our hero Zima'Lon duped by the devious, or maybe more savant like Marc Hogan are about to pull off the heist of a century. Or at least the week, there have been some big heists. Deep beneath the Guiliano hotel & casino, locked in a secret high tech vault lays the remains of the boudlebot. There is only one problem. Would do you really want to spend all this time listening to Marc Hogan? Here's a sample of the type of things he said.
Marc Hogan: When we get the boudlebot up and running I'm gonna make it dance the robot... pantless! Now that'll be a show to end all shows babygirl.
Marc Hogan: All they had to do was change one letter. One stinking letter of my last name and it would have been legendary. So that's why I burnt down my trashcan double parents house!
Marc Hogan: YOU NEVER PUT KETCHUP ON A HOT DOG YOU TRASH CAN BOUDLE ALIEN!
Zima'Lon: I wasn't even talking about hot dogs where did that come from?
Marc Hogan: Mustard! Mustard always mustard! Write that down if you want to be a hotdog king.
Zima'Lon: I'm a girl.
Marc Hogan: I've heard that before.
Yeah.. let's skip ahead to the end shall we? Spare you all those grisly details?
We see Marc Hogan and Zima'Lon in front of a locked vault.
Zima'Lon: Shouldn't we have brought tools?
Marc Hogan: I got everything we need right there Babygirl!
Marc pelvic thrusts in the direction of the large cooler he carried into the heist. He reaches inside and pulls out.. a stuffed cat?
Zima'Lon: Aww.. that's cute.
Marc Hogan: It is not cute! It's treacherous! I wasn't sure if I should call this the Greater Catsby or the Disconnector. But either way it's my secret weapon babygirl. It's gonna jam up the codes on this lock so badly you'll think it was the rules for the final destination briefcase! You got your ticket?
Zima'Lon: Why would I need a ticket?
Marc Hogan starts twisting the head of the cat pointing it in the direction of the vault door. He curses then continues. Then does it some more.. finally he smacks the cat against the vault.. then with a pelvic thrust the door finally swings open.
Marc Hogan: I have done it!
The deranged fan boy storms the vault.. collecting in his arms the broken and damaged parts of the boudlebot laughing like a kid on Christmas. Finally he notices the brains of the operation. He scoops it up. Marc holds the damaged CPU in his hand tears of joy streaming down his face. He turns to Zima'Lon tears of joy streaming down his face and getting caught in his obvious fake mustache.
Marc Hogan: This is my holy grail babygirl! Now we are going to make all the trash can boudles who messed with me sorry!
Zima'Lon: Wait.. that doesn't sound like we discussed. You spoke of this great technology.
Marc Hogan: I lied babygirl!
Marc does one of those trademark pelvic thrusts.. then does another.. and another. It seems like he could thrust all night but then he remembers he has more important things on his mind.
Zima'Lon: I don't know if I can be a part of this any longer.
Marc Hogan: It's much too late for that babygirl! You're already in too deep. Which is what tends to happen when you're with the hot dog of treachery! Besides I don't need much from a trashcan boudle alien such as yourself. I just need you to make me one of those suits.
Marc gestures to the space suit and mask Zima'Lon is wearing to allow her to survive in Earth's atmosphere.
Marc Hogan: You make me one of those suits and I'll use it to house the greatest gift to man! It will give life to a newer, more powerful boudlebot! A boudlebot to end all Boudlebots! You just wait babygirl..
Zima'Lon: You do know that I didn't create the suit. No offense but this doesn't seem like much of a plan to me.
Marc Hogan: YOU DARE QUESTION THE PLAN OF TREACHERY?
Zima'Lon: Why is everything is something of treachery?
Marc Hogan: It's obvious you trashcan boudle! I think aliens like you must lose something in the translation! So translate this..
PELVIC THRUST!
Zima'Lon: What does that even mean?
Marc Hogan: It means..
PELVIC THRUST!
Zima'Lon: I don't know what you mean but I do know this. I didn't make the suit. L did.
Marc Hogan: That's bad news for you then babygirl. I'll just have to steals yours.
Zima'Lon: But I'll die.
Marc Hogan: That ain't my problem babygirl. My idol always turned on everyone eventually. Stabbing you in the back within hours of meeting you.. damn he would be proud if he could see me now.
Of course this is the time Marc finds himself interrupted.. by the Guardians.
Bonnie Blue: This is why I hate Vegas... filled with weirdoes!
Alex Richards: Hey! I resent weird being used in a negative term!
Bonnie Blue: What else would you call this guy?
Alex Richards: Okay. Point taken.
L Verez: Guys.. I think we are missing the bigger picture.. the fact that this guy kidnapped my partner. Who does he think he is... area 51.. you can just grab an old alien you want! Especially not Zima'Lon.. not on my watch.
Alex Richards: Not to mention the shady shit he's up to.
Bonnie Blue: Yeah.. my father Johnny Reb helped create the Boublebot.. which then went on a murder spree! We don't want it to fall in the wrong hands.. and you are definitely the wrong hands.. whoever you are.
Marc Hogan: I'm Marc Hogan... I am the president of every Logan fan club in this United States! But that's not enough to show my devotion! So instead I'm rebuilding the boudlebot.. and making it bigger.. and better than ever! Finally I will have.. the greatest piece of Logan memorabilia ever!
L Verez: Did you not hear the part about how it murders people?
Marc Hogan: It's the lord of treachery! That's to be expected. Besides I am can tame him!
L Verez: This guy is nuts.
Alex Richards: Welcome to the WCF.
Marc Hogan: This boudlebot will do exactly what I say. Unlike the real Logan who I met once. It was September 9, 2010, Phoenix, Arizona. I'll never forget the day. I shook his hand, he called me a boudle then stole my wallet. It was found in a strip club, credit cards maxed out, money missing. GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
Bonnie Blue: We have a benefit to get to so let's finish this guy off quick shall we?
Marc Hogan: Ohh.. I don't think so! NEVER BRING A GUARDIAN TO A GUN FIGHT YOU BOUDLES!
Marc reaches into his cooler and.. it's filled with hot dogs. He looks embarrassed.
Marc Hogan: it seems like I forgot the gun. Ah well.. I made my choice.
Marc eats a hot dog.
Marc Hogan: Anyone else want one?
Alex Richards: I'll take one.
The other Guardians shrug. They really aren't surprised that Alex would eat in the middle of a conflict. He wolfs down the dog.
Alex Richards: Hmm.. not bad. A little stale though.
Marc Hogan: HA! YOU FOOL! NEVER LOGAN AN AGENT OF TREACHERY! IT WAS POISONED!
Marc waits for Alex to fall down. Instead he yawns.
Alex Richards: Eh. I've had worse.
Marc Hogan: Damnit.. you were supposed to fall down.. the Guardians were supposed to come to your aid and I was supposed to escape!
Bonnie Blue: Yeah.. we're the Guardians. This may be your house and your rules. But that don't mean we have to follow them.
Marc Hogan: Oh.. yeah well I have a back up plan. I grabbed the wrong alien. L Verez.. you're that space tranny ain't ya! You're my type of gal.. err dude errr I dunno. But either way you got both of the things I like! So how about this we blow this popsicle stand babygirl then we both whip out our hot dogs of treachery and compare sizes then we..
L doesn't let him get in another word. She smacks him with the Big Bang.. her discus bicycle kick then starts slamming Marc's head off the cement floor again and again and again. She starts to unload with punches bloodying Hogan until Alex, Zima'Lon and finally Bonnie pulls L off of the would be thief.
L Verez: I don't know what came over me. I've met some horrible milks before but nothing that low class. Nothing that crass nothing..
Bonnie Blue: Like we said earlier. Welcome to the WCF.
L Verez: This is what the WCF is like? Seems ghastly.
Alex Richards: Why do you think Bonnie and I left?
Bonnie Blue: The good news is you handled it perfectly. In the WCF everyone is disrespectful if you don't beat them senseless. You have to show them you aren't someone they want to mess with.
Alex Richards: After XIII nobody is going to want to mess with the Guardians when they see what we do to Everest.. and Frank Veneble.
L Verez: Normally I'm all about positive vibes. But it appears this place is not one for that.
Bonnie Blue: I knew you were a quick learner L. Now how about you and Zima take this piece of trash off to jail.
Bonnie roughly drags Marc to his feet and pushes him in the direction of L.
Marc Hogan: Alright.. alright.. I'll go to jail. Just don't hit me again. Okay.. fuck.. my name isn't even Marc Hogan. I'm really an uber driver from Seattle. My real name is Steven King.
Alex Richards: With that name you could have been a fan of Everest.
Marc Hogan: SHUT UP! FUCK YOU BOUDLE!
L Verez: I will hit you again if you disrespect my friend like that milk.
Alex Richards: Nah I had that coming. Why would anyone be an Everest fan.
Bonnie Blue: You could have been a fan of the horror novelist though.
Marc Hogan: I thought of that. He spells his name different.
L Verez: Alright, I'll take him to jail. But fair warning I'm going to ask Zima what you do to her in the last few hours and if you..
Zima'Lon: He just annoyed me.
L Verez: As long as you're alright.
L and Zima'Lon starts to drag off the deranged Logan fan until Alex stops him.
Alex Richards: Just a second. You know.. I knew a Marc once.. Marc Mayhem. That guy was bad ass.. you sir are no Marc Mayhem
And with that.. the Logan fan weeps.
Marc Hogan: I wanted to be his new partner.
L mercifully takes him away leaving Alex and Bonnie with the remains of the boudlebot.
Bonnie Blue: You know.. you have a gift with knowing just what to say to completely destroy someone.
Alex Richards: Just wait and see what I came up with for Everest and Franky. Talk about verbal destruction.
Bonnnie gestures towards the wreck of the boudlebot.
Bonnie Blue: Speaking of destruction. We should destroy this.
Alex Richards: We should.
Bonnie Blue: If it gets into the wrong hands.
Alex Richards: Like it almost did.
Bonnie Blue: But it is.. good technology.
Alex Richards: That's what I was thinking.
Bonnie Blue: You never know when you might need a murderous robot on your side.
Alex Richards: I do have all that storage under my bar, the Drunken Dragon. I would hate for it to go to waste. And you know.. my girlfriend Becky is pretty good with computers. Maybe she can get this running again.
Bonnie Blue: You read my mind partner. We are champions for a reason after all.
And with that.. the Guardians begin collecting the pieces of the bot as the scene fades out.
Part 2- Shoot it and Boot it
Alex Richards: How about a little music to set the mood?
Alex Richards: You know the Guardians have been in some horrible places, fought against some horrible things. Killer robots, cults, evil mayors of Chicago, aliens bent on destroying the world, the list goes on and on. We have even been to Delaware. But right now.. being back in World Championship Federation.. that is certainly up there on the list of horrible places! But I ain't complaining. We're Guardians that what we do. Anything terrible situation out there.. we show up.. and we conquer. For example that Marc Hogan guy and his attempt to bring back the boudlebot. Did anyone really think we were going to fail? Of course not! We're Guardians that's the sort of thing we do! We see evil.. we conquer... we move on.
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: I'm really looking forward to the part where we conquer. And especially the part where we move on. But I guess it could be worse. This is a XIII show so it's not an actual WCF event. I guess that makes it a little better. But The Guardians wouldn't be here if we weren't here to prove something. Friday night we show Everest.. at least what's left of them.. how a real stable operates.
Alex Richards: This is supposed to be an all star game of sort isn't it. But not one of those lame baseball all star games. A real all star game like...
Alex thinks for a second and thinks of a very obviously Alex Richards sort of a thought.
Alex Richards: Shark infested waters monopoly! The object being to capture all the rocks big enough to perch on, get yourself a rock monopoly and hopefully not get eaten.
Alex grins again.
Alex Richards: Now why did I say that? Nobody else's head would have instantly jumped there. But you gotta admit that beats the hell out of any lame sporting all star game don't it? That's what Alex Richards brings to the ring. A truly unique, truly special outlook. Our opponents this week have never faced someone like me. Or someone like my partners for that matter. Maybe Frank Veneble can imagine it. But I can't see either Steven Singh or Ethan King having even the slightest clue of knowing how to handle me, let alone my tag team partners, the transgendered alien protector of the universe L Verez, and the time traveling hardcore queen Bonnie Blue. But I'm getting off track.
Alex pours himself a drink, in a boot, of Zim-Quila. If you didn't know that you have no business reading an Alex Richards roleplay. Just saying.
Alex Richards: This is supposed to be elite UCI supergroup versus elite WCF supergroup. The Guardians against Everest. Only one problem. It's not. Now make no mistake about it. The Guardians.. we are holding up our part. We are not just AN elite supergroup. We are THE elite supergroup in the UCI. We are the standard all other groups tried to measure up to, but failed. The Syndicate, led by David Sanchez, you remember David don't you Everest? We sent him and his mayor of Chicago act running back to the WCF. The Brotherhood, lead by Kevin Bishop. They not only couldn't unseat us, we literally destroyed them, dissolved them. Something nobody in the WCF could do. Three world championships held by three different members. Two of those world titles are on this team by the way. That's dominance! That's what a supergroup does!
Alex Richards: Then you have Everest. People think you guys are a supergroup. Former world champion, current hardcore champion, winner of the king of trios tournament, last trios champions. But really though you just have the people fooled. See, the Guardians we are a REAL elite team. We formed because we're a collection of bad asses who can beat anyone on the planet, together as a team or individually. The Guardians are the best of the best. But you guys in Everest. That's hardly true now is it? David Sanchez lost his final destination briefcase to Frank Patrick Veneble. That should make this match a little awkward this week now shouldn't it? Ethan King was fighting and struggling against the likes of the legendary Dag Riddick and Adam Young, trying to get his hands on the internet championship. Steven Singh failed not once.. but twice to capture the world title. Actually managing to get himself banned from ever receiving another world title match.
Alex shrugs.
Alex Richards: Wrestling. Like there's any chance that stip would get followed. But the point is, The Guardians formed because Bonnie Blue, Jay Omega, Polar Phantasm and later me, were the best wrestlers the UCI had to offer. Everest formed because you guys had to do something to try and avoid getting lost in the shuffle. Every member of the Guardians could get it done on their way. And we proved it. Ethan, Steven.. you needed Everest because on your lonesome you weren't good enough. Not by a long shot. The Guardians set the bar in the UCI. Everyone wants to knock off the Guardians because we are are the greatest stable in UCI history. Everest? You guys are simply trying desperately to catch up. The Guardians are unique. Everest? You have been done before. You have been done to death. You are just another stable teaming up to try and knock off Pantheon. And like the ten million clones before you you just come off as second rate. To be honest I preferred you when you were Imperium. At least that stable had Natural Ice Beckman and Bobby Cairo. Two former world champions that people actually remember. Ethan King? Steven Singh? Nobody is gonna remember you guys in six months. Shit, you're barely remembered now... and you were the most recent champion Singh. No wonder you guys formed. You barely got started and you are already overshadowed. Compared to the new champion Johnny Rabid, no one even thinks of you as a champion Singh.
Alex snorts.
Alex Richards: Now I hate Rabid but at least he's an original. OF course you're going to be forgotten. Because you guys are just another cliche! Don't believe me? What was the first words you uttered Steven when you formed Everest? Pantheon time of death: February 26th, 10:14 pm. Seeing as Johnny Rabid is a member of Pantheon it looks like your boast may have been a little premature. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say your attempt at killing Pantheon failed miserably. What a surprise. You did the same old crap everyone else did and ultimately failed. Who would have seen that coming?
Alex Richards: Like I said at the beginning. The Guardians are originals! This is the secret to our success! This is why an army of impersonators like Everest is never going to get the best of us! Well you failed at taking out the elite WCF stable, Pantheon. So now you get to try your hand against the elite UCI stable in The Guardians. What makes you think this is going to go any differently for you?
Alex Richards: Shit.. you couldn't even get three members of Everest to fight The Guardians! That speaks volumes for your little group Ethan and Steven. You couldn't muster three fucking members! The Guardians.. people join the UCI in order to align themselves with the Guardians. Shit, L Verez tracked me down because she wanted in the Guardians that badly. Because people know the Guardians are the people you want to be with if you want to be successful. Everest.. they are the group you join.. if you have no better options. And apparently now you have fallen so far that not being in a group is now a better option then being a member of Everest! And why would people team with you anyways. Bale Pascal was a new wrestler to the WCF. He even captured the People's Championship. You wanted him.. until you didn't.
Alex Richards: How about a little fucking loyalty, huh? That's what's really wrong with you people in Everest. You don't care about each other. You just care about yourselves. About you getting ahead. You think Bonnie didn't celebrate when I won the world title? You think I didn't celebrate just as hard when she did? We're a real team. When we get in that ring, L, Bonnie, and I know we can rely on each other. Ethan and Steven, can they say the same? Does that question even need an answer? Of course not! It's obvious! The two that ARE a member of a stable together probably can't say for sure the other one isn't going to turn on them. And that isn't even mentioning Frank Veneble who not only isn't a member of Everest but probably is less then thrilled about Corey Black forcing him to team with those two. Because you know when they lose, and they will lose, they are instantly going to blame Frank for their defeat. Because of course they will. Scumbags like Everest, they have a million excuses. Anything to hide the fact that might be at blame, that they might not measure up. But you can't fool me. Your teamwork doesn't measure up to the Guardians, your talent doesn't measure up to the Guardians. Let's face it, your shit is subpar is every way.
Alex Richards: Especially in the most important way. See, there are all sorts of reasons the Guardians are going to wreck shop at XIII like Jason Voorhees chasing teens through the woods. You know what the most important, most obvious one is? We are a real team! Our opponents, the so called Everestish team, they are not a team. They are just three guys who happen to be teamed up. They have no loyalty to each other. Because of this they have no real motivation to win this match. To them this is just another match. Because they don't care about the legacy of Everest. Well we damn sure care about the legend of the Guardians. We are intent on growing that legend. We have dominated in the UCI since the moment we started. Now, at XIII. We are going to dominate in the WCF as well. For you guys this is just a six man tag. For us.. this is a chance to show why the Guardians are the best team not just in the UCI, but in the world. Let's face it.. after this week everyone is gonna know that we are the real Earth's Mightiest Stable!
Alex tries his best to keep a straight face, but ultimately laughs, fails.
Alex Richards: Nah, I'm just joking. Pantheon can keep that moniker. They earned it. We create our own paths, our own legends. We don't want to leech off on Pantheon like inferior, less creative stables named after mountains might do. Shit, they don't want to, they need to. Because truth be told, they simply good. They aren't legends, they aren't dominant champions. This is why they huddle together, trying desperately to hold on. Because as far as a top notch unit goes.. they are simply pretenders. The Guardians.. we are the real deal. We are the Guardians.. we don't have to compare ourselves to Pantheon. We are our own thing. Everest.. they have to desperately mention Pantheon in order to give themselves some shred of credibility. Come Friday the 13th we'll show them the difference between a real deal elite stable and some pale initiators. We don't settle for just being champions of earth anyways. The Guardians aim higher. We are legends in 485 different Solar systems, most of which I can't even pronounce. But they damn sure know us anyways. After this week Ethan, Steven, and FPV will damn sure never forget us either.
Alex Richards: I would talk about Everest the group some more but I think I'll give up on that now. There is no comparison between them and the Guardians anyways. It's like comparing Kimbo Slice to Bruce Lee. One talks a good game, the other simply destroys the poser. Actually that's unfair.. I don't even think you guys really talked a good game. But I'm not going to take any chances, even the very slight chance we get upset. Last time I appeared at XIII Johnny Rabid defeated me. Another loss is so not going to happen. Especially when The Guardians are being represented. So I'm going to look at each individual member of the Everest-ish team as well.
Alex Richards: Frank Patrick Veneble. I'm going to start with the best. The only two time world champion in the match. Well at least until I regain the UCI world title next week at Killing Floor.
Alex flashes a shit eating grin.
Alex Richards: Sorry Bonnie.
Alex Richards: If Steven and Ethan would actually let Frank lead this match might be a challenge. But it's obvious their egos would never allow that. So I don't even have to talk about that happening. Everest doesn't even listen to each other, let alone people outside of their little group. But really, let's be real Franky. Admit it you're on the wrong side. You would much rather be with us wouldn't you? This week the Guardians stopped some nutjob from unleashing a plague of Boudlebots on the world. Speaking of Plagues.. why are you in this match instead of David Sanchez. Oh, I know why. Because Ethan and Steven mocked him for not winning Ultimate Showdown until he lost his will to compete. They did that to their teammate. They did that to one of their founding members. What do you think they are going to do to you, Franky? Now I know a few things. I know you're too honorable to turn on your teammates. And I know that they are immediately going to blame you for the loss. Even though everyone knows it's going to be their fault. Just do one thing for us Veneble. How about a couple of Boom Headshots for your former partners when they get in your face after the loss. Giant Spaghetti Monster knows they deserve it.
Alex Richards: But even though I think you're the best.. on your team.. that isn't actually that big of a compliment. Sorry dude. At your best you were pretty damn awesome. But that was 2012. Five year is a long time. Sure, you were world champion this year. But anyone could have been if they were the one to face Jason O'Neil.. whose title reign will forever be debated by hardcore wrestling fans as to whether he is indeed the worst world champion of all time. This is the guy you beat. But hey even though he's nothing special you still had to win the match to win the title.
Alex Richards: Just like you had to win the match to win the world title in the UCI. When you were awarded a world title shot against Bonnie Blue at Summermania. Man, were people pissed about that. Shit a dozen people must have ranted about how unfair that was. But I wasn't one of them. You know why? Because I knew it didn't matter if you received a world title shot because there was no way you were beating Bonnie Blue. And at the end of Summermania Bonnie was still the champion. So I ask you this Frank. If you couldn't beat Bonnie how on earth are you going to beat Bonnie, myself, and L this week? You couldn't beat one Guardian, beating three seems damn near impossible don't it? Then there's your biggest problem Frankie.. yourself.
Alex Richards: In the last year you were forced to join The Brotherhood after you lost a People's title match to Kevin Bishop. Now you're forced to team up with Everest. You've lost control of your own career Veneble. What happened to you? People used to think you were a future hall of famer. Now you've reduced to excepting scraps and teaming up with people you despise just to get on the XIII card. Corey probably did you a favor. He probably feels bad about the beating he gave you during his retirement tour. If that's true he's really going to feel bad after the beating the Guardians give you this Friday. You're still young Frank, you're younger then I am, you still have time to turn your career around again. But this week... this week isn't gonna help. In fact it's going to hurt... a lot.
Alex Richards: But there are two more members of the opposing team this week. Unfortunately all my respect is now gone. This is gonna be painful. Mainly for me having to try and make things interesting while facing two of the most overrated, bland, boring wrestlers in the world. Ah well I guess I should get started. So Ethan King, huh? I remember you. Didn't you used to be a member of the Pride? I think I'm the only one who remembers that for all you guys accomplished. Then you went and became a charter member of Everest. But Thomas Bates even did the mountain thing before you guys. What else? You're the hardcore champion. That should be impressive, right? Lots of great wrestlers have held the hardcore title. Like yours truly. The only difference is, I won the hardcore title by defeating four men, three of whom could be considered hall of fame caliber. You “won” the hardcore title by losing in the ultimate showdown. Mount Everest is what you guys want to compare yourselves to? You don't seem like much more then a run of the mill hill to me. Now I know you're going to say.. but but.. I lasted longer then everyone else in War, that Everest just won the king of trios tournament.. that.. that.. But you know maybe I just have a higher standard of excellence then you guys do. You want to claim to be the best. You actually have to be the best, be a world champion, like I was in the UCI, instead of collecting runner up trophies like the also ran you are.
Alex Richards: The truth hurts don't it Ethan? How happy are you that you're teaming with Steven Singh? Because as long he was world champion you had a built in excuse as to why you never won the world title. Unfortunately now it's time to face facts. You never won the world title.. because you fucking can't. Your signature match is probably a draw against Andre Holmes where you retained the hardcore championship. A match that most people thought you were lucky to escape with your title. Well let me tell you something King.. I beat Andre Holmes... twice. That's why I'm on a new level above you. When we step in the ring you'll know that. It will soon become painfully obvious. Then you'll tag out and let your partners take the heat. It's what you do. You sacrificed the Pride, and one of these days Everest will go by the wayside as well. I'm just hoping that the Guardians speed that day up. Because it can't happen too soon!
Alex Richards: I saved you for last Steven Singh. Because you're the Rodney Dangerfield of the WCF. You don't get no respect. All you ever wanted to do was be “The Superstar” But you weren't.. were you? Nope.. you've always been “Thievin'” Steven. You were world champion Steven, but you never got the respect you thought you deserved as champion did you? That's because you did it the wrong way. People like you.. say the means don't matter. It's only the results that do. But you're wrong. You know what the problem with being a cheater is? People know why you're cheating. You're cheating because you aren't good enough to do things on your own. Me? I won the world title in the UCI by defeating respected former WCF competitor Howard Black. I defended that title against sure fire future hall of famer Jayson Price. At least he's a sure fire hall of famer after Seth Lerch drinks himself to death. Well unless Price does first that is. The fact remains, people respected my title reign because I beat a great champion and took on all comers.
Alex Richards: You? You got your butt kicked twice by Joey Flash. Got barred from competing for the world title ever again, then snuck your way into the ultimate showdown. You were in a stable called Everest who claimed.. we all look like ants to you. Only thing is.. we don't. We're all giants who you have to cheat to cut down to size. Either you don't have confidence in your own abilities or you have limited talent which is it Singh? I guess you don't have to answer that because I'll find out for myself just how are you lacking this Friday the 13th. Sooner or later though Steven everyone learns the truth about you then leaves. The Captain did, and just last week the Very Big Security team left you as well. Your security team left Everest like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Although since they fled to Johnny Rabid I guess it's like rats fleeing to other rats but I digress.
Alex Richards: They see the writing on the wall and so does everyone else. Everest's prime didn't last long, Everest wouldn't be all that fondly remembered, but nevertheless Everest is in the twilight of it's career. After this week's defeat The Guardians are going to send you guys into the Sarah Twilight of your careers. Bonnie, L, and I are the greatest trio in the UCI. There is no weak link amongst us. Bonnie and I are world champions. Now I know this is the WCF and someone is gonna claim world titles only count here. That I'm not a real world champion and neither is Bonnie. it just so happens I beat a two time WCF world champion in Oblivion just last week. I also beat him here, in the WCF, during the Ultimate Showdown as well. You know what that proves? That I can beat the stuffing out of a world champion no matter where I am. You best be keeping that in mind Steven Singh, you too Frankie.
Alex Richards: As for L, she's been wrestling less then 6 months and at Rite of Passage three weeks ago she faced Corey Black. Legendary Creeping Death and held him to a draw. I know I didn't do that in the first few months I wrestled in the WCF. You know what that proves? That chick is a bad ass. Of course she is.. she's a Guardian. Like I said.. our team has no weak links.. and Everest-ish.. they aren't even a team. There's really nothing more I have to say is there?
Alex grins.
Alex Richards: Ah hell.. this is probably gonna be the last XIII I'm ever on. I should say one more thing. My partners in the Guardians.. they might not have much respect for Corey Black. But I do. I remember how much Corey helped my career when I was a member of Pantheon trying to break through. So Corey.. consider this my tribute to you. Everest... ish... are you gonna suck my dick or what? Hell yeah you are.
Fade to Black
