Post by Cordelia Malice on Oct 12, 2017 19:25:36 GMT -5
“I’M NOT CRAZY!” I yelled at the Orderly as he slid a turkey and cheese sandwich with carrots into my room. The more I yelled at the men who refused to listen to me the less I believed it. And the more I put my story into context the more I KNEW I was crazy.
Backtrack about a decade ago. I was running a gang in the streets of Cleveland called Los Locas. It was a bunch of badass bitches who ran the drug trade between Saxon Street and 5th Avenue. Then I was arrested in a huge drug raid that saw my lover at the time having her face blown straight off her head. Covered in her blood I was dragged away to a max security prison where I was confronted by a woman who offered me a chance at redemption.
From there I joined her group of misfits former drug lords, in a Suicide Squad type of deal where she expected all of us to die. But me and my crew lived. We lived and exceeded expectations. No one could stop us until they gave me the most vicious mission of all- UCI. In UCI there were potentially some evil doings going on that I was trying to infiltrate. However, it took a turn for the worse when the company I worked for put my team on a mission and the man, Mack, that I had fallen in love with during our time together, had been killed in action.
From there they dismissed me from the company and I made it my mission to find out who runs the company and destroy them like they destroyed my life. I found a Russian Oligarch that was going to lead me to where I needed to go when I was captured and put into this place with the padded walls being fed meals on plastic round trays.
It all sounded a bit crazy, but I know what I’ve been through. I lived a tough life but I LIVED the whole fucking things. The fact that I’m stuck in this place just means that I was getting dangerously close to the truth.
“THE FACT THAT I’M IN HERE IS BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH!” I shouted at no one hoping everyone could hear me. I sullenly ate my tasteless sandwich and left the tray by the opening in the door where the gloved hand came and would take it momentarily. Again I was left alone with my own thoughts.
How could this be a good idea?
They think I’m insane so to ‘help’ me they lock me in a padded room by myself stewing in my own negative thoughts. If I was insane I would certainly have found a way to kill myself by now. But I can’t kill myself. There’s still so much to do; so much I haven’t accomplished. I know if I just give myself a chance that it will all be good.
The door creaked open.
That wasn’t normal. Usually only the small slot opened up and a hand took the tray, but this time a huge orderly walked through with a small woman I could barely see behind him. But then a man I did recognize walked in.
“Spencer Adams?”
“Miss Malice, yes, I’m Spencer Adams. And I understand that we know each other.”
“Yes we know each other, I was in your Rising Stars Division in UCI. I was in the finals against Umeji just like 3 weeks ago.”
“So you say,” Spencer began. “But I DO wish to offer you something. An opportunity, for freedom. I don’t know what it is about you but I KNOW that what you’re saying isn’t true. But for some reason I feel like I’ve known you for a long time. I want to help you, but you need to help me.”
“Sure, anything to get out of this place.” I lunged forward and the orderly swatted me away like a fly. “Fuck you!” I spat at the man.
“Easy, there. But that fire, that tenacity… that’s what I need on my team. But you need to prove yourself first. Hellimination is coming up and I need the BEST of the BEST for my team. You can be that, I don’t know why I think that but I KNOW it.”
“I can be…” I said hopefully. “How can I prove it?”
“XIII is coming up, there’s a match called ‘The Final Girl Battle Royal.’ I am willing to let you out under my care if you will compete in that match for me. If you win that match not only will you earn yourself a contract but you will earn yourself a spot in Hellimination.”
“And if I lose?” I asked.
“We’ll see. But I imagine these walls will become more familiar to you.”
I looked around the windowless room, looking at Spencer Adams as the only sign of the outside world. I smiled and reached a hand out.
“I’m in… and I’m going to fucking win.”
Spencer accepted the handshake.
“I expected nothing less.”
Spencer motioned with his head to exit and the orderly moved aside. Behind him I finally got a good look at the woman standing behind him.
“ELIZABETH!” I shouted as I ran to give the woman a hug. Even the rugged orderly couldn’t keep me away from my friend. Elizabeth Shaw was the smartest woman I knew and she was the driving force of the equipment and planning of all the missions we went on. Without her I would certainly be dead.
“How does she know you?” The orderly asked.
“Old friends” I replied with the first smile I had had in weeks.
“She must have read my name somewhere and created a world where we are friends. I AM published in several magazines. I wouldn’t say I’m famous, but I am fairly well known. It’s common in cases like this for the subject to create a world where she is the heroin of her own fairytale, creating a cast of sidekicks to support her. I suppose that I was one of her sidekicks in one of her CIA missions? Am I right, Miss Malice?”
I had no idea what she was talking about. She was my best friend, the only woman aside from my sister that I was able to open up to and rely on for advice and just friendly banter. She was acting like I was crazy too.
“Elizabeth… I don’t understand…” I began but she cut me off.
“I think I do. You are going to be put under my care and my watch. We will work together to regain some of the memories that you may have lost and help you piece together the missing parts of your life.”
“I have no missing parts.”
“Of course you don’t” She said as she reached her hand out. I accepted it, not even realizing that I was doing so. I held her hand as she led me outside of my room. The inmates screamed and spit everywhere, but I was able to ignore it. Not truly by choice. I was stuck. I was stuck in my own mind, and I didn’t know how to get out.
I was feeling crazier than I thought. But I also had never seen so clearly. Life was all about choices and the choice I had to make was to play along with the charade for now. Things weren’t working out this way as a coincidence. There was a method to the madness and now I’ve been afforded this opportunity to step into the ring with other women and fight for a chance to call myself the Final Girl battle Royal Champion.
This was a chance I was not going to take lightly. This was an opportunity to not only show the people who put me in this place that not only did I get out but I was fucking succeeding. The world was trying to keep me down… the COMPANY was trying to keep me down. But I could tell by the look in Spencer’s eyes that he knew what he was doing. And the gentle squeezes of Elizabeth’s hand on mine felt reassuring and familiar.
This wasn’t insanity. I have never been here before. This was a new and far out place. This was a wondrous opportunity. This was simply the next step of my life.
Backtrack about a decade ago. I was running a gang in the streets of Cleveland called Los Locas. It was a bunch of badass bitches who ran the drug trade between Saxon Street and 5th Avenue. Then I was arrested in a huge drug raid that saw my lover at the time having her face blown straight off her head. Covered in her blood I was dragged away to a max security prison where I was confronted by a woman who offered me a chance at redemption.
From there I joined her group of misfits former drug lords, in a Suicide Squad type of deal where she expected all of us to die. But me and my crew lived. We lived and exceeded expectations. No one could stop us until they gave me the most vicious mission of all- UCI. In UCI there were potentially some evil doings going on that I was trying to infiltrate. However, it took a turn for the worse when the company I worked for put my team on a mission and the man, Mack, that I had fallen in love with during our time together, had been killed in action.
From there they dismissed me from the company and I made it my mission to find out who runs the company and destroy them like they destroyed my life. I found a Russian Oligarch that was going to lead me to where I needed to go when I was captured and put into this place with the padded walls being fed meals on plastic round trays.
It all sounded a bit crazy, but I know what I’ve been through. I lived a tough life but I LIVED the whole fucking things. The fact that I’m stuck in this place just means that I was getting dangerously close to the truth.
“THE FACT THAT I’M IN HERE IS BECAUSE I KNOW THE TRUTH!” I shouted at no one hoping everyone could hear me. I sullenly ate my tasteless sandwich and left the tray by the opening in the door where the gloved hand came and would take it momentarily. Again I was left alone with my own thoughts.
How could this be a good idea?
They think I’m insane so to ‘help’ me they lock me in a padded room by myself stewing in my own negative thoughts. If I was insane I would certainly have found a way to kill myself by now. But I can’t kill myself. There’s still so much to do; so much I haven’t accomplished. I know if I just give myself a chance that it will all be good.
The door creaked open.
That wasn’t normal. Usually only the small slot opened up and a hand took the tray, but this time a huge orderly walked through with a small woman I could barely see behind him. But then a man I did recognize walked in.
“Spencer Adams?”
“Miss Malice, yes, I’m Spencer Adams. And I understand that we know each other.”
“Yes we know each other, I was in your Rising Stars Division in UCI. I was in the finals against Umeji just like 3 weeks ago.”
“So you say,” Spencer began. “But I DO wish to offer you something. An opportunity, for freedom. I don’t know what it is about you but I KNOW that what you’re saying isn’t true. But for some reason I feel like I’ve known you for a long time. I want to help you, but you need to help me.”
“Sure, anything to get out of this place.” I lunged forward and the orderly swatted me away like a fly. “Fuck you!” I spat at the man.
“Easy, there. But that fire, that tenacity… that’s what I need on my team. But you need to prove yourself first. Hellimination is coming up and I need the BEST of the BEST for my team. You can be that, I don’t know why I think that but I KNOW it.”
“I can be…” I said hopefully. “How can I prove it?”
“XIII is coming up, there’s a match called ‘The Final Girl Battle Royal.’ I am willing to let you out under my care if you will compete in that match for me. If you win that match not only will you earn yourself a contract but you will earn yourself a spot in Hellimination.”
“And if I lose?” I asked.
“We’ll see. But I imagine these walls will become more familiar to you.”
I looked around the windowless room, looking at Spencer Adams as the only sign of the outside world. I smiled and reached a hand out.
“I’m in… and I’m going to fucking win.”
Spencer accepted the handshake.
“I expected nothing less.”
Spencer motioned with his head to exit and the orderly moved aside. Behind him I finally got a good look at the woman standing behind him.
“ELIZABETH!” I shouted as I ran to give the woman a hug. Even the rugged orderly couldn’t keep me away from my friend. Elizabeth Shaw was the smartest woman I knew and she was the driving force of the equipment and planning of all the missions we went on. Without her I would certainly be dead.
“How does she know you?” The orderly asked.
“Old friends” I replied with the first smile I had had in weeks.
“She must have read my name somewhere and created a world where we are friends. I AM published in several magazines. I wouldn’t say I’m famous, but I am fairly well known. It’s common in cases like this for the subject to create a world where she is the heroin of her own fairytale, creating a cast of sidekicks to support her. I suppose that I was one of her sidekicks in one of her CIA missions? Am I right, Miss Malice?”
I had no idea what she was talking about. She was my best friend, the only woman aside from my sister that I was able to open up to and rely on for advice and just friendly banter. She was acting like I was crazy too.
“Elizabeth… I don’t understand…” I began but she cut me off.
“I think I do. You are going to be put under my care and my watch. We will work together to regain some of the memories that you may have lost and help you piece together the missing parts of your life.”
“I have no missing parts.”
“Of course you don’t” She said as she reached her hand out. I accepted it, not even realizing that I was doing so. I held her hand as she led me outside of my room. The inmates screamed and spit everywhere, but I was able to ignore it. Not truly by choice. I was stuck. I was stuck in my own mind, and I didn’t know how to get out.
I was feeling crazier than I thought. But I also had never seen so clearly. Life was all about choices and the choice I had to make was to play along with the charade for now. Things weren’t working out this way as a coincidence. There was a method to the madness and now I’ve been afforded this opportunity to step into the ring with other women and fight for a chance to call myself the Final Girl battle Royal Champion.
This was a chance I was not going to take lightly. This was an opportunity to not only show the people who put me in this place that not only did I get out but I was fucking succeeding. The world was trying to keep me down… the COMPANY was trying to keep me down. But I could tell by the look in Spencer’s eyes that he knew what he was doing. And the gentle squeezes of Elizabeth’s hand on mine felt reassuring and familiar.
This wasn’t insanity. I have never been here before. This was a new and far out place. This was a wondrous opportunity. This was simply the next step of my life.
