Post by The Very Big Śpainards on Sept 30, 2017 14:32:31 GMT -5
(The scene opens at Microsoft Game Studios' Lift London base in England. The day is very cloudy, with almost all of the sky covered by the white and dull clouds. Inside the game studio a bunch of young men in suits look anxiously on as William from the Very Big Security watches a monitor. Ainsley is also there but he's more bothered about the grab bag of prawn cocktail crisps in his hands then what's on the screen. The screen shows a video of a pixelated William and Ainsley walking thhrough what appears to be a direct rip-off of mario with WCF wrestlers as enemies.)
William: Hmm....
William watches on, scratching his light stubble of a beard with his eyes glued to the screen.
William wasn't actually paying attention to what was happening on the screen. He had sent in a script of what he wanted for 'Very Big Bros' as soon as he won the internet championship. He was only being shown level 1 but be could already sense that the script had been changed. He was just waiting until the demo finished so he could yell at the nerds.
This time Ainsley wasn't there to co-hold the championship with him. But he also rhought that Ainsley could just invoke a rematch clause for the VBS and since it doesn't matter if one guy's missing Ainsley just could pin him VBS would be internet champs once again.
That was actually pretty smart. At least by William's. William raised his head, noticing the demo had ended. He turned to one of the employees.
Microsoft Employee: Well...Uh.. Did you like it?
William: No, Michael Soft. I don't like watching literal moose shit on a computer.
Most of the employees rolled their eyes probably expecting Williams reaction thanks to reports about his childish nature and big temper.
William: Y'all didn't even read the script I gave you guys?
Microsoft Employee: We thought that maybe the dialouge was a bit off an-
Microsoft Emplpyee: We didn't like it because every level after level 2 was just a bunch of WCF wrestlers standing in some grass and then being stomped on by a giant boot with the words 'William's foot' while you screamed the word 'Judgement'.
William: Just a little bit of meta fun. No one will notice-
Microsoft Enployee: There were 85 levels, Sir.
William: You should be glad! Most games these days only last a couple minutes this game is gonna revolutionise gaming as a whole! I poured my heart and soul into this game!
Microsoft Employee: Did you though?
William: EXCWEESE ME?!
William slammed the table with his fist.
Microspft Employee: Listen! Listen.. Sir, some of us had a sneaky feeling that the only reason you wanted to make this game was because you wanted to roast your co-workers.
William paused for a second and looked at Ainsley who in return shrugged his shoulders and went back to looking at his crisps.
William: Ok, you know what? Michael Soft? How about you make the game good and then as a reward I'll throw you through a brick wall and not out of a three story window.
William began to walk out of the room followed by his partner before one of the employees shouted something at him.
Microsoft Employee: Oh and it's MICRO soft. Not Michael Soft.
William stopped dead in his tracks as a sudden realisation came to his head. Something clicked in hus brain and he slowly turned to face the employee, his entire body shaking with utter hatred. The employee who thought he would sound intelligent by saying that now felt a great deal of regret.
William: Micro.....Soft?
Employee: Err...Y-yeah That's th-
William: Micro....soft.
Employee: Y-
William: Micro. Micro. MICRO! MICRO! BITCH I AM NOT A MICRO!!
William yelled kicking down the door to the conferemce room and running out of it.
Most of the employees were shocked when the big man broke the door down and they instictively all got out of their chairs and ran for the exit.
William picked up the unhinged door and began swinging it around furiously breaking many computers.
William: The Betryal! I am the verge of falling into a DEPRESSION!!
William spinned around, holding the door as far out as possible and hitting a less reactive employee right on the nose. William threw the door through one of the glass windows out of spite.
William realised he didn't have another object to throw around and so made a quick effprt to grab one of the swively chairs that was in front of a now empty desk. By then most of the men in the conferemce room were watching the chaos with worried looks on their faces.
William sprinted over to a room with various instruments inside. As well as a microphone. He blocked the door with the chair and stood in front of the microphone and put the headphones on.
William: I'm ready to shoot on all of you fools! And all of the WCF fools! As well! LET'S GO, I GO NOW! GIVE ME A BEAT!
All of the men in the conference room and Ainsley were now surrounding the recording sutdio William was in. Ainsley's head was in his hands in dissappinted while the microsoft men stared at each other with anxious faces wondering how they were gonna solve this problem.
Ainsley pulled out his phone and searched up 'beat' on youtube. After seeing an unnerving amount of hooligan videos Ainsley searched up 'rap beats' and clicked on the first video.
William heard the beat and began to rap.
William: UH!
YEAH!
Y'all already know who it is!
It's ya boi William!
William the Raphemoth.
That's a word!
I promise!
Let's go!
War Rap!
Go!
Iamthejakauiopwcfwresrlerahumbedumbdeyinpimbetterrhanallpfheviyswhoaeeunthewecrfsaansimalsothebestbetterthanresthalalalahanalagaonmagoandhitthemfoolslikebalumfdendeybeondaflooranddenibelikerawrkakakakathenigoandwinwar!
Most of the enployees stared at William dumbfounded. One picked up a phone and began calling someone. Ainsley overheaed he was saying and quickly ran into the recording studio through the enreance Williams had idiotically ignored.
Ainsley: Listen William! Ome of those guys just phoned-
William: For your bullcrap I ain't got the time.
I'm not listening to what you say unless it rhymes.
Ainsley sighed again and quickly thought of somethungs that rhymed.
Ainsley pointed to one of the employees.
Ainsley: That guys name is... Jeff
He owns a fleece...
That other guys name is... David
He just called the police.
I reckon if you leave the beat on.
You'll be able to leave quite subtly.
But if you don't you'll get dat baton.
And you can't win War when you're in custody.
William: YoImasoundcloudrapperwithakitkatrapperandimstayininthisbizcosimafulltimezappermandapoopedeedydooprdyydeepydoopeydadbadoopryYEAH!
Ainsley: Will, This ain't the time for a diss track
Although the crappy beat is in
You can do whatever you want
But I ain't going back to prison.
Ainsley left the recording studio and the office and probably went to buy more crisps.
William: Ok serious now ain't even gonna rhyme. All you new guys, Hank Herron, Bomber, Red Dragon, Matthew Drake, I can't do the whole 'new guys are all jobbers' because I'm pretty new myself but I am IT champ so I can say this: Y'all are- Y'all arw bunch of bottom barrel botanic butches and if you see me in War my fave going be the last rhing you see on earth because ima kick you to the moon, through the moom, through jupiter moon, through the solar system moon, through the milky way moon and then you gonna explode.
And to all you returning dudes, why all of y'all coming back to try and make a new run for yourselves, Jayson Price released a fricking sextape and his career resurged, just do something like that! And now there's now 9 billion in war and it's gonna last for a trillion hours, probably almost as long as Raw. I can't last that long! And I-I don't even wanna last that long I'm best friends with the world champ I don't wanna face him! All I wanna do is beat up you midgets and stop em from winning. Best case scenario? Nobody wins war! And Oblivion makes one of the newbs bleed and the newb has some weird blood disease that makes his face grow a like.. like a weird cow face thing, cow face. That's the best case scenario in my personal opinion, which is the best opinion because it's mine.
And with that last note William sprinted after his partner as sounds of police cruiser sirens come in from outside. The police easily catch up to William who can be heard screaming the lyrics to 'Straight Outta Compton' as he's handcuffed. William will be able to get out of jail before war though. And then he'a probably gonna go back to eating crisps.
William: Hmm....
William watches on, scratching his light stubble of a beard with his eyes glued to the screen.
William wasn't actually paying attention to what was happening on the screen. He had sent in a script of what he wanted for 'Very Big Bros' as soon as he won the internet championship. He was only being shown level 1 but be could already sense that the script had been changed. He was just waiting until the demo finished so he could yell at the nerds.
This time Ainsley wasn't there to co-hold the championship with him. But he also rhought that Ainsley could just invoke a rematch clause for the VBS and since it doesn't matter if one guy's missing Ainsley just could pin him VBS would be internet champs once again.
That was actually pretty smart. At least by William's. William raised his head, noticing the demo had ended. He turned to one of the employees.
Microsoft Employee: Well...Uh.. Did you like it?
William: No, Michael Soft. I don't like watching literal moose shit on a computer.
Most of the employees rolled their eyes probably expecting Williams reaction thanks to reports about his childish nature and big temper.
William: Y'all didn't even read the script I gave you guys?
Microsoft Employee: We thought that maybe the dialouge was a bit off an-
Microsoft Emplpyee: We didn't like it because every level after level 2 was just a bunch of WCF wrestlers standing in some grass and then being stomped on by a giant boot with the words 'William's foot' while you screamed the word 'Judgement'.
William: Just a little bit of meta fun. No one will notice-
Microsoft Enployee: There were 85 levels, Sir.
William: You should be glad! Most games these days only last a couple minutes this game is gonna revolutionise gaming as a whole! I poured my heart and soul into this game!
Microsoft Employee: Did you though?
William: EXCWEESE ME?!
William slammed the table with his fist.
Microspft Employee: Listen! Listen.. Sir, some of us had a sneaky feeling that the only reason you wanted to make this game was because you wanted to roast your co-workers.
William paused for a second and looked at Ainsley who in return shrugged his shoulders and went back to looking at his crisps.
William: Ok, you know what? Michael Soft? How about you make the game good and then as a reward I'll throw you through a brick wall and not out of a three story window.
William began to walk out of the room followed by his partner before one of the employees shouted something at him.
Microsoft Employee: Oh and it's MICRO soft. Not Michael Soft.
William stopped dead in his tracks as a sudden realisation came to his head. Something clicked in hus brain and he slowly turned to face the employee, his entire body shaking with utter hatred. The employee who thought he would sound intelligent by saying that now felt a great deal of regret.
William: Micro.....Soft?
Employee: Err...Y-yeah That's th-
William: Micro....soft.
Employee: Y-
William: Micro. Micro. MICRO! MICRO! BITCH I AM NOT A MICRO!!
William yelled kicking down the door to the conferemce room and running out of it.
Most of the employees were shocked when the big man broke the door down and they instictively all got out of their chairs and ran for the exit.
William picked up the unhinged door and began swinging it around furiously breaking many computers.
William: The Betryal! I am the verge of falling into a DEPRESSION!!
William spinned around, holding the door as far out as possible and hitting a less reactive employee right on the nose. William threw the door through one of the glass windows out of spite.
William realised he didn't have another object to throw around and so made a quick effprt to grab one of the swively chairs that was in front of a now empty desk. By then most of the men in the conferemce room were watching the chaos with worried looks on their faces.
William sprinted over to a room with various instruments inside. As well as a microphone. He blocked the door with the chair and stood in front of the microphone and put the headphones on.
William: I'm ready to shoot on all of you fools! And all of the WCF fools! As well! LET'S GO, I GO NOW! GIVE ME A BEAT!
All of the men in the conference room and Ainsley were now surrounding the recording sutdio William was in. Ainsley's head was in his hands in dissappinted while the microsoft men stared at each other with anxious faces wondering how they were gonna solve this problem.
Ainsley pulled out his phone and searched up 'beat' on youtube. After seeing an unnerving amount of hooligan videos Ainsley searched up 'rap beats' and clicked on the first video.
William heard the beat and began to rap.
William: UH!
YEAH!
Y'all already know who it is!
It's ya boi William!
William the Raphemoth.
That's a word!
I promise!
Let's go!
War Rap!
Go!
Iamthejakauiopwcfwresrlerahumbedumbdeyinpimbetterrhanallpfheviyswhoaeeunthewecrfsaansimalsothebestbetterthanresthalalalahanalagaonmagoandhitthemfoolslikebalumfdendeybeondaflooranddenibelikerawrkakakakathenigoandwinwar!
Most of the enployees stared at William dumbfounded. One picked up a phone and began calling someone. Ainsley overheaed he was saying and quickly ran into the recording studio through the enreance Williams had idiotically ignored.
Ainsley: Listen William! Ome of those guys just phoned-
William: For your bullcrap I ain't got the time.
I'm not listening to what you say unless it rhymes.
Ainsley sighed again and quickly thought of somethungs that rhymed.
Ainsley pointed to one of the employees.
Ainsley: That guys name is... Jeff
He owns a fleece...
That other guys name is... David
He just called the police.
I reckon if you leave the beat on.
You'll be able to leave quite subtly.
But if you don't you'll get dat baton.
And you can't win War when you're in custody.
William: YoImasoundcloudrapperwithakitkatrapperandimstayininthisbizcosimafulltimezappermandapoopedeedydooprdyydeepydoopeydadbadoopryYEAH!
Ainsley: Will, This ain't the time for a diss track
Although the crappy beat is in
You can do whatever you want
But I ain't going back to prison.
Ainsley left the recording studio and the office and probably went to buy more crisps.
William: Ok serious now ain't even gonna rhyme. All you new guys, Hank Herron, Bomber, Red Dragon, Matthew Drake, I can't do the whole 'new guys are all jobbers' because I'm pretty new myself but I am IT champ so I can say this: Y'all are- Y'all arw bunch of bottom barrel botanic butches and if you see me in War my fave going be the last rhing you see on earth because ima kick you to the moon, through the moom, through jupiter moon, through the solar system moon, through the milky way moon and then you gonna explode.
And to all you returning dudes, why all of y'all coming back to try and make a new run for yourselves, Jayson Price released a fricking sextape and his career resurged, just do something like that! And now there's now 9 billion in war and it's gonna last for a trillion hours, probably almost as long as Raw. I can't last that long! And I-I don't even wanna last that long I'm best friends with the world champ I don't wanna face him! All I wanna do is beat up you midgets and stop em from winning. Best case scenario? Nobody wins war! And Oblivion makes one of the newbs bleed and the newb has some weird blood disease that makes his face grow a like.. like a weird cow face thing, cow face. That's the best case scenario in my personal opinion, which is the best opinion because it's mine.
And with that last note William sprinted after his partner as sounds of police cruiser sirens come in from outside. The police easily catch up to William who can be heard screaming the lyrics to 'Straight Outta Compton' as he's handcuffed. William will be able to get out of jail before war though. And then he'a probably gonna go back to eating crisps.
