Shadowlove WAR XVI, part two
Sept 24, 2017 19:01:08 GMT -5
Kevin Bishop and Leon "Purple" Hayze like this
Post by Shadowlove on Sept 24, 2017 19:01:08 GMT -5
North East Okayama Prefecture On The Border Of Hyogo Prefecture, Japan...
The following takes place sometime after the events of last Sunday’s WCF Slam 400 and last Monday’s UCI Overload, sometime before the events of UCI Rite of Passage and WCF WAR XVI, and occur in real time sometime during the week of UCI Rite of Passage and before WAR XVI...
The sound inside The Hariuddoburondo Dōjō was akin to the sun rising in the East and the sun setting in the West and resulting in a cutting-edge silent lucidity that was threatening, overpowering, and yet having a sense of subdued tranquility. The Hariuddoburondo Dōjō’s unseen audience was eerily hushed as if waiting for the curtain to rise upon a stage. In the absolute darkness, there was nothing to see except for the brightness of the sunlight cascading down through the octagon shaped atrium illuminating your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac, apex predator, and current UCI World Television Champion, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, sitting Indian-style, the wagon burning way and not the taxi driving way, with a stillness of serene authority, most prized by the Japanese, on the top rung of a 25ft. ladder in the center of the tatami floor amid training for his World Television Championship defense at Rite of Passage.
His hands were interlocked in his classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair behind his head showing off his fighter's face while looking up into the cool, warmish, hot sun shining brightly through the octagon shaped atrium with an ice cold stare radiating from his sparkling blue eyes. He had a Blu electronic cigarette (product placement) in his mouth puffing and blowing out a series of vapor rings up into the air.
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye remain focused and alert to the surroundings around him. He seems to be enjoying the quiet, silent lucidity escapism from the rigmaroles of everyday life in the United Championship Infinite.
He was stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe along with his custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned pants and custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned boots.
“VOODOO” by Godsmack starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
And as if on cue. . .
He flicks the Blu electronic cigarette into the camera and his low dusky voice rings out fully, with all the charm and charisma that one can muster, mister and gets down to the business of WAR XVI as he starts painting his masterpiece:
“I’ve already got the fame, the fortune and the notoriety from all the rhetoric coming from these utterly unhealthy and obsessive lifestyles changes coming from these bigger-than-life whiney, umm, winning personalities, these dames to kill for, and these stranger than strange butt ugly and frightening imaginary monsters that the WCF is know for and that can already be found all over the sports entertainment business including the UCI on any given Sunday or Monday to last me for a lifetime. . .”
His personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei”, Ms. Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, was standing statuesque with her arms crossed over her chest while leaning back against the 25ft. ladder in the center of the tatami floor.
Her raven black hair was pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic looking face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses strategically placed on her perfectly flawless nose. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin was encased in a in the most iconic Vantablack Montsuki & Forest Green Seven Deep-pleated Hakama. The pleats are said to represent the seven virtues of Bushidō, considered essential to the samurai way. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
“Meaningless threats have always been the modus operandi of the the WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy. They think that they can threaten your livelihood and that will somehow in their mediocre minds keep you on the edge of your seat in order to get you to agree with the status quo and obey the rules of engagement, especially to a very excessive degree with this very easily influenced and manipulated workforce that calls themselves the WCF 4 LYFE unless, of course, you're counting the countless of guest appearances these umm, lifers are making in the UCI 4 LYFE. . .”
He runs his hands through his slicked back classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and down his muscular chest, his washboard abs, the UCI World Television Championship fitting perfectly around his waist and flicks beads of fake sweat from off his fingers towards the camera.
“They should save their meaningless threats for someone who really cares, but The Dub has always been filled with violent opposition with mediocre minds to paraphrase Albert Einstein. As these nearsighted myopic people can see, there is no one in the sports entertainment business that can unite an organization whether or not you are so desperately trying to be a face or so desperately trying to be heel in the sports entertainment business better than yours truly. That’s the difference between everyone participating in WAR XVI and my egotistical self-righteous son-of-a-bitch indignation. And that's what defines the UCI World Television Championship and that’s what will define the winner of WAR XVI and that’s what will define whoever faces either Steven Singh, Teo del Sol, or Jonathan Rabid for the WCF World Heavyweight Championship at ONE. . .”
She can sense without looking, the fire burning in his sparkling blue eyes in a predatory manner that still shows how passionate he has become about competing in an organization that has always shown bitter resentment and righteous indignation towards everything that is representative in his very own existence even after becoming the UCI World Television Champion.
“The WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy have always tried to manipulate and influence people into how they live their life inside and outside of the squared-circle thinking that this is some kind of popularity contest for Miss Congeniality that decides the winner of WAR XVI. It seems nothing has changed between the haves and the have nots in the grand scheme of things here in the WCF. They have always tried to manipulate and influence a person's individuality with their petty jealousies when telling people how to be representative of this very unclassy or classy organization. They have always questioned a person’s personal hygiene, their stylish fashion sense, the way they walk, the way they talk, telling them what they can say about the WCF, what the can’t say about the WCF, and telling them what they should say about the WCF, and what they shouldn't say about the WCF, as all very jealous, defensive, and insecure people are always programmed to do after you've been gone over a year and have gotten yourself over on the third-rate talent by just accepting a friendly invitation from the owner of the joint as an olive branch of goodwill to participate in WAR XVI . . .”
He starts sliding down the top rung like, well, like a snake and creating locomotion through side-to-side movement and rectilinear progression, which allows him to seamlessly walk on his ribcage in what appears to be an optical illusion, and down the 25ft. ladder and onto the tatami floor.
“They have already misunderstood, miscalculated, and underestimated the star power of my condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthlessly manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle that is tailor-made for WAR XVI with my all-around, well-balanced athleticism and rebellious guerrilla warfare. . .”
She takes her proper place cradling against his muscular body and moving very little, never turning her head, or revealing any kind of expression that gives the viewing audience at home a clue as to her innermost thoughts, with the only exception being a very sharp and penetrating affection and devilishly delicious, malevolent and pleasurable, mischievously smile coming from her very luscious and alluring lips while caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
“The dark match masters of the WCF like Greg St. Matthew-san, Hank Herron-san, Leon Hayze-san, Bomber-san, Agimat-san, Bryan Devlin-san, the tag-teams of the Mop and Bucket Brigade, Tall, Tuff, & Stuff, The Very Big Alliance, Bishop-san, Priest-san, Bryan Devlin-san, Ded Memry-san, Joe Smarts-san, Jay West-san, Wolf-san, Caleb Ronan-san, Cliff of Doom-san, Biff Mustache-san, Matthew Drake-san, Biohazard-san, Johnny Alpha-san, and Bernard Core-san have reached their peak of performance in either the Alpha and tag-team division or early retirement stages of their career and have simply become only part of someone's inflated elimination count numbers at WAR XVI. . .”
He looks down at the UCI World Television Championship still wrapped perfectly around his waist, upside down, so he can see his mirror image reflecting off the television screen of the UCI World Television Championship strap. Seems like this good looking guy is the number ONE mark on everyone's list in this organization and laughs to himself.
“Holy Hajeet, I thought you were dead? If WAR XVI doesn't kill you, your taxi driving ways most definitely will. So, if anyone in the WCF is needing a ride after the show, I wouldn't accept any rides from the Royal Prince of Tripura and favorite part-time crash test dummy in wrestling. Hajeet is so popular that you may just end up like Princess Diana after the paparazzi were done chasing her down. Petrova is that really you or is this 2.0 or maybe 3.0 because yours truly destroyed your clone 2.0 last week in my first title defense in a match where my ring introduction lasted longer than our match. Petrova, I. . . must. . . break. . . vu. And just take look at the Alpha Champion, Luke Force on the Rise, pun intended, hmmm, well if Robbie the Robot could be a gay space robot in Lost in Space, then who am I one to judge your very questionable robotic B.O.B. lifestyle here in The Dub? Comparing the WCF Alpha Championship to the UCI World Television Championship is like the WCF serving near beer to the WCF Galaxy on Slam on a bi-weekly basis when and if you do defend that token title and the UCI that serves this very expense import to the UCI Fandom on a weekly basis on Overload. Lukewarm Force, you will never be the caliber of wrestler that yours truly was in this organization even with that novelty title that you are so very proud of around your waist. You really mean to tell everyone that the value of the once number 2 belt in this organization depreciated so much in over a year that it has now become simply just a novelty item for the dark match masters of this organization? Shit, happens, I guess, just like when our UCI Rising Stars Championship that David Sanchez wore around his waist went Intercontinental and he had to vacate it to run back here. Nice tribute to Mikey eXtreme, rhough. So when is the Mikey eXtreme Memorial Toilet Bowl Runneth Over Tournament beginning? Oh nevermind, I see that Lukewarm is the nugget that wouldn't flush now. Congrats. Yours truly never even had to have a Championship around my waist to Rise, pun intended, to the occasion when drawing any kind of real heat in this organization even with this UCI World Television Championship around my waist or even without it around my waist. . .”
She starts caressing the UCI World Television Championship seductively with her fingers in a “Is Oblivion really monster enough to take this Championship from around “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san’s waist at Rite of Passage this Monday night by climbing the latter? Then again, Jessica Buck or Jack Schlongson might get lucky and steal the spotlight by climbing the ladder as well” style gesture.
“When Seth Lerch-san gave everyone in this organization two weeks to prepare for WAR XVI, The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san doesn't have that lapse of luxury to rest on his laurels and need a fortnight to prepare for one of this second-rate organization's premier events. Not The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san. He is set to defend the UCI World Television Championship at Rite of Passage in a Ladder Match against said Monster Legend, Oblivion-san, two of the lower class rejects that the WCF just signed, The Mop and Bucket Brigade, Red Dragon-san and Sah’ta Thor-san, who just happened to be former mediocre Television Champions. Red Dragon-san defeating Oblivion-san, yes, I know, that's what happens when a Monster Legend in his own mind no-shows for a match in the U. Then you have a mediocre talent, and mediocre is pushing the boundaries of sanity, Red Dragon-san losing to Sah’ta Thor-san. Then The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san easily defeating Sah’ta Thor-san in his very own Wheel of Extreme match. Although, Sah’ta Thor’s career choices may be in jeopardy since trying to hostile take over a Championship that he made up himself and no sold it to the establishment after being defeated. He will fit right at home with you bunch. Then you have a more trashier version of myself and former Television Champion and former member of David Sanchez’ Syndicate, Hot as Fuck Jessica Buck. And finally you have the whiter Andre Holmes-san’s former Tag-team Champion partner, Jack Schlongson-san. Oblivion-san, you get the first shot at becoming a hero to these people if you defeat him by pinfall or submission at Rite of Passage. But, has any real kind of defeat ever really silenced The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san? And if he loses the UCI World Television Championship at Rite of Passage then he loses the UCI World Television Championship at Rite of Passage. He never loses sleep when he wins and he never loses sleep when he loses. It will simply be just another day at the office in this hobby of ours, but mark my words, he will never go down without a fight and the memory of your encounter with The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san will always be etched into your memory. And if he overcomes the insurmountable odds against him and surprises his critics by his showing and wins WAR XVI then the whole entire World of the WCF will suddenly come to a stop and will come crashing back down like it did over a year ago down in old México. . .”
She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face showing off her intoxicating and incandescent almond shaped green eyes of the Goddess of the Rising Sun and a 21st century female samurai warrior known for her bravery and strength and starts waving her index finger back and forth in a “No, no, no, not just yet” style gesture.
“Oh Michael eXtreme, aren't you just a tad old to be called Mikey? You haven't been anything more than a cockroach In this organization ever since the WCF telenovela took place down in old México. We were indeed in a clusterfuck of a match with #beachkrew and out of that clusterfuck of a team, who exactly was the last man standing against Wade Moor, Jonathan Rabid, Jared Holmes, Andre Aquarius, Kyle Kemp and Dustin Beaver when they were in their prime and running roughshod in this organization? It sure the fuck wasn't you, Michael, you were busy being in one helluva clusterfuck Hillary versus Trump cockamamy storyline with Vengeance, now that's original. And it sure the hell wasn't anyone anyone else in that clusterfuck of a storylined match either. Yours truly was the only man standing and still managed to prove one thing, Michael, I proved to everyone in this organization that I can stand up on my own in that 6-on-1 clusterfuck beatdown and take my beating like a man from #beachkrew in their prime. I never bitched and moaned like you would've done under the same circumstance and that earned me, maybe not even an ounce of respect, but I earned a lot of self-respect in that clusterfuck of an opportunistic match. You know, I thought that I recognized you though, Michael, you were the King alright, your were that dude wearing a Burger King Crown on your head with a that lame assed Mikey name tag on your shirt, telling me, would you like some fries with that shake, sir? Now, I’m going to have it my way and I'm really gonna kick your sorry ass for fucking up everyone's order in the drive thru, you mutherfucker. . .”
His sparkling blue eyes seem to start to glaze over with anger at the thought of everyone in The Dub being stiffed by Michael “Mikey” eXtreme at the drive thru at Burger King and then his eyes start to soften at the thought of those days gone by when #beachkrew were actually something to write home to mom about in this organization.
“Kyle Kemp-san, what is that very meaningless repetitive catchphrase that you often spew out of your mouth to everyone you face? You have been this organization's People's Champion, a tag-team Champion, and even, yes, a UCI Television Champion. But you know who is better than you? You are better than you. You seem to defeat yourself just when things are going your way and when you just might step out of the shadow of Wade Moor-san, Jonathan Rabid-san, Andre Aquarius-san, Jared Holmes-san and Dustbin Beaver-san, you seem to always have an out of body experience and become like Jeff Purse-san when the pressure is on. And from what I hear about WAR XVI, you will be stepping into quite the pressure cooker. So, ladies and gentlemen of the WCF, the award for biggest choke artist of WAR XVI goes to, drum roll please, the 2017 Jeff Purse-san award for WAR XVI goes to Luke Force-san, in a landslide. Kyle Kemp-san, we respect your accomplishments but remember this, you’ve been in the squared-circle with The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san on 3 separate occasions and you haven't been able to pin his shoulders to the mat or make him submit in any kind of match so you will be very unsuccessful in WAR XVI as well. . .”
Suddenly, he seems to grab his left arm and seems to get light-headed and his sparkling blue eyes roll up into the back of his head. He wiggles and shakes and sighs and "Ice Tea" plunges back into the tatami floor and hopes that he “sold” the move to the viewing audience watching at home. He winks at the camera and rises back but as if nothing has happened.
“Dag fucking Riddik at one time we had the hottest verbal feud going in this organization over the nuances of that fictitious International Championship. The WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy were chomping at the bit for this verbal feud to come to fruition but Seth Lerch and the gang had yours truly touted as the WCF Television Champion instead. Some would say that I would've easily defeated Stuart Slate but I still wasn't the brand name that I am today. So due to some behind the scenes decision making shenanigans, Tiffany White was crowned Television Champion due to her brand name recognition behind the scenes. Wink, wink. And you know all about it don't you, Francis Patrick Venerable? But business is business and Tiffany White was a flake. So The Dub must have been really been trying to keep their quota of having over achieving WCF World Heavyweight Champions. You had a good run on your feel good story of the year with your title reign until Jared Holmes ended the party. By the way, when Jared Holmes, Jonathan Rabid, and Wade Moor tried to breath life into the already past their prime #beachkrew storyline into the UCI, I’m just wondering why you hid from Jared and the boys backstage since you were the UCI backstage announcer and the former WCF World Heavyweight Champion that he defeated? I was in the squared-circle at the time with Jared, Jonathan, and Wade and they knew what I was capable of since our last encounter here,.Jared Holmes backed down when he looked me in my sparkling blue eyes and so will the World famous UCI backstage announcer and former WCF World Heavyweight Champion FPV. . .”
A porcelain skinned Geisha wearing a Shimada-styled nihongami wig and a formal black kimonos, with her obi tied in the taiko style, enters the Dōjō and formally, ceremonially, and traditionally bows towards the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress. She helps the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress remove her most iconic Black Montsuki & Forest Green Seven Deep-pleated Hakama.
“So, Sidney J. Warwick-san, you are this so-called, self-proclaimed resident keisatsu, keisatsu, or police, police of the WCF because you are the Omega Champion by defeating Mikey eXtreme Whipwreck is that right? Have you taken a good look at the marquee that reads Wrestling Championship Federation? The WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy has never been known for it's political correctness. When they did, they had to shut down for a couple of days and rethought their strategy. The sports entertainment business will never, never be politically correct, because the Son of God, not The God, but a God has better things to do on a Sunday night in Tokyo than to listen to your diatribe about racial prejudice, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of hatred directed towards oppressed people like an over-inflated and overrated third string quarterback like yourself thinking that you were the Colin Kaepernick-san of professional wrestling. You can stereotype The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san and myself all that you want with your kindergarten cop theatrics because compared to The Handsome Halfbreed Shadowlove-san, Sidney J. Warwick-san is nothing but an Infomercial like the rest of these participants when you enter into the mind of one of the most misunderstood, miscalculated, and underestimated figures in sports entertainment history with his condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthlessly manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle. . .”
He looks at his very sweet and lovely Miyamoto and for some odd reason he loses his train of thought. But before he does, he thinks to himself, “Maybe we should buy Sidney J. Warwick dinner before WAR XVI, because, he is definitely going to be mindfucked by one of the best.”
Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin was encased in a form-fitting Stark White Under Armour: Armour Bra 2.0 Maximum Control Wire-Free Sports Bra with Vantablack Black Sequin Karate pants. She was barefoot with stark white tape wrapped around her feet and ankles and Vantablack tape wrapped around her hands like a mixed martial artist. Once finished, the porcelain skinned Geisha quietly fades back into the darkness of the Dōjō.
“PERSONAL JESUS” by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
He runs his fingers through his his classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and making his hair perfect in super slow motion then raises his arms up and straight out to his sides and bows his head, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
“Yours truly wanted to prove one thing, and one thing only, when I returned to this organization. Yours truly proved that this organization is more afraid of the competition in the UCI rather than the competition in the UCI is afraid of anyone in this organization known as the WCF. . .”
"HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
She exudes fantastic supermodel energy, moving at a regular and fairly slow pace by lifting and setting down each foot in turn, never having both feet off the ground at once, with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around him as if he was being crucified on the cross.
She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose of her angelic looking face showing off her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her Vantablack tape wrapped hand.
She takes her proper place cradling against his muscular body and moving very little, never turning her head, or revealing any kind of expression that gives the viewing audience at home a clue as to her innermost thoughts with the exception of a very sharp and penetrating affection of a devilishly delicious, malevolent and pleasurable, mischievously smile coming from her very luscious and alluring lips as she starts caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
"Mission, accomplished. . ."
He slowly raises his head in super slow motion and double raises an eyebrows in mock amazement as his patented malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth on his chiseled fighter's face in a "You people know who I am. I believe, that I need no introduction. And for those of you that don't, I'm The Face Of The Franchise, the whole F’N Show, Mr. UCI, if you will, or whatever expletive that everyone in The Dub will want to put in front of my name. Where's Seth Lerch? You sent me an invitation to participate in WAR XVI and I will be there in live and in living color. Well, well, well, Adam Young, you were all set to face Zombie McMorris and myself at Beyond this past April for the Inaugural UCI Hypermedia Championship in a Triple-threat match and the so-called, self-proclaimed greatest of all time chicken shits out and does what all chicken shits do best. You chicken danced you way out of the match because you knew that you would've lost to Zombie McMorris or myself at Beyond. Yours truly will see you all very, very soon, for one night only, anyways, since I will be in the neighborhood for WAR XVI, mang!" Scott Hall stylistic shit-eating grin.
"Yours truly has proven to all Legends, Hall-of-Famers, Gods, and Scrubs of the WCF, that it doesn't take having the UCI World Television Championship around my waist when all you, professionals, had to do is take one good look into the mirror and know that all of you aren't even close to matching what I have done with my special guest appearance here in this organization. The fact of the matter is that yours truly didn't even have to say one word in this organization in order for all of you to have all your complete and undivided attention, I just had to show my seductive handsomeness with the UCI World Television Championship wrapped perfectly around my waist and you all came out to the middle of the street for a shootout but only one of use was shooting blanks. Well, you all do have that deer caught in the headlights stare going on in this organization. . ."
He reaches inside his newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe and apparently appears to pull out some very stale cotton candy that you would find in every dog and pony act at some meaningless carney show and starts eating. See you soon, Jonathan Rabid.
He looks down at the UCI World Television Championship still wrapped perfectly around his waist, upside down, and still sees the reflection of a seductively handsome young fellow staring right back at him on the television screen of the UCI World Television Championship strap and begins clicking his custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned boots together.
There is no place like the UCI. . . There is no place like the UCI.
Seems this seductively handsome young fellow is still the number ONE mark on everyone's list in this organization and in the UCI, lately. He laughs to himself and waves, “BUH-BYE!”
He looks at his sweet and lovely Miyamoto took take them out until next time when they talk about the favorites to win WAR XVI, Odin Balfore, Steve Orbit, Jay Omega, Bonnie Blue, David Sanchez, Gravedigger, Andre Holmes, Ethan King, those other mysteriously well-known and unknown individuals that will very likely making an appearance, and that seductively handsome young fellow by the name of Shadowlove, who is a complete underdog, longshot, wildcard, and now a complete fan favorite in these festivities at WAR XVI in promo, part three.
She pauses. Then. . .
Her intoxicating and incandescent almond shaped green eyes scans back and forth like The Terminator then focuses on the camera and looks into the eyes of the WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy watching at home and showing no emotion on her angelic looking face then slices her own throat from her left carotid artery to her right carotid artery with her right index finger and makes an imaginary blood explosion style gesture with her left hand.
Then. . .
She raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face while hiding her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes with her middle finger.
The following takes place sometime after the events of last Sunday’s WCF Slam 400 and last Monday’s UCI Overload, sometime before the events of UCI Rite of Passage and WCF WAR XVI, and occur in real time sometime during the week of UCI Rite of Passage and before WAR XVI...
The sound inside The Hariuddoburondo Dōjō was akin to the sun rising in the East and the sun setting in the West and resulting in a cutting-edge silent lucidity that was threatening, overpowering, and yet having a sense of subdued tranquility. The Hariuddoburondo Dōjō’s unseen audience was eerily hushed as if waiting for the curtain to rise upon a stage. In the absolute darkness, there was nothing to see except for the brightness of the sunlight cascading down through the octagon shaped atrium illuminating your favorite modern day charismatic and charming, egotistical, narcissistic, politically incorrect, felicitating, self-righteous, second-generation megalomaniac, apex predator, and current UCI World Television Champion, "The Handsome Half-breed" Shadowlove, sitting Indian-style, the wagon burning way and not the taxi driving way, with a stillness of serene authority, most prized by the Japanese, on the top rung of a 25ft. ladder in the center of the tatami floor amid training for his World Television Championship defense at Rite of Passage.
His hands were interlocked in his classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair behind his head showing off his fighter's face while looking up into the cool, warmish, hot sun shining brightly through the octagon shaped atrium with an ice cold stare radiating from his sparkling blue eyes. He had a Blu electronic cigarette (product placement) in his mouth puffing and blowing out a series of vapor rings up into the air.
His heart rate was a very relaxed 40 beats a minute as the oxygen in his blood helped the preternatural powers of his mind’s eye remain focused and alert to the surroundings around him. He seems to be enjoying the quiet, silent lucidity escapism from the rigmaroles of everyday life in the United Championship Infinite.
He was stripped to the waist showing off the upper body of a Greek God, with washboard abs, in a newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe along with his custom-made Calvin Klein crocodile skinned pants and custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned boots.
“VOODOO” by Godsmack starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
And as if on cue. . .
He flicks the Blu electronic cigarette into the camera and his low dusky voice rings out fully, with all the charm and charisma that one can muster, mister and gets down to the business of WAR XVI as he starts painting his masterpiece:
“I’ve already got the fame, the fortune and the notoriety from all the rhetoric coming from these utterly unhealthy and obsessive lifestyles changes coming from these bigger-than-life whiney, umm, winning personalities, these dames to kill for, and these stranger than strange butt ugly and frightening imaginary monsters that the WCF is know for and that can already be found all over the sports entertainment business including the UCI on any given Sunday or Monday to last me for a lifetime. . .”
His personal bodyguard/valet and “Fashionista Sensei”, Ms. Miyamoto, the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress, was standing statuesque with her arms crossed over her chest while leaning back against the 25ft. ladder in the center of the tatami floor.
Her raven black hair was pulled back in a French braid showing off her angelic looking face with her eyes hidden behind a pair of RayBan sunglasses strategically placed on her perfectly flawless nose. Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin was encased in a in the most iconic Vantablack Montsuki & Forest Green Seven Deep-pleated Hakama. The pleats are said to represent the seven virtues of Bushidō, considered essential to the samurai way. Her sweet as honey, harmoniously hypnotizing, smooth as silk, smoky voice radiating through her alluring lips:
“Meaningless threats have always been the modus operandi of the the WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy. They think that they can threaten your livelihood and that will somehow in their mediocre minds keep you on the edge of your seat in order to get you to agree with the status quo and obey the rules of engagement, especially to a very excessive degree with this very easily influenced and manipulated workforce that calls themselves the WCF 4 LYFE unless, of course, you're counting the countless of guest appearances these umm, lifers are making in the UCI 4 LYFE. . .”
He runs his hands through his slicked back classic masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and down his muscular chest, his washboard abs, the UCI World Television Championship fitting perfectly around his waist and flicks beads of fake sweat from off his fingers towards the camera.
“They should save their meaningless threats for someone who really cares, but The Dub has always been filled with violent opposition with mediocre minds to paraphrase Albert Einstein. As these nearsighted myopic people can see, there is no one in the sports entertainment business that can unite an organization whether or not you are so desperately trying to be a face or so desperately trying to be heel in the sports entertainment business better than yours truly. That’s the difference between everyone participating in WAR XVI and my egotistical self-righteous son-of-a-bitch indignation. And that's what defines the UCI World Television Championship and that’s what will define the winner of WAR XVI and that’s what will define whoever faces either Steven Singh, Teo del Sol, or Jonathan Rabid for the WCF World Heavyweight Championship at ONE. . .”
She can sense without looking, the fire burning in his sparkling blue eyes in a predatory manner that still shows how passionate he has become about competing in an organization that has always shown bitter resentment and righteous indignation towards everything that is representative in his very own existence even after becoming the UCI World Television Champion.
“The WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy have always tried to manipulate and influence people into how they live their life inside and outside of the squared-circle thinking that this is some kind of popularity contest for Miss Congeniality that decides the winner of WAR XVI. It seems nothing has changed between the haves and the have nots in the grand scheme of things here in the WCF. They have always tried to manipulate and influence a person's individuality with their petty jealousies when telling people how to be representative of this very unclassy or classy organization. They have always questioned a person’s personal hygiene, their stylish fashion sense, the way they walk, the way they talk, telling them what they can say about the WCF, what the can’t say about the WCF, and telling them what they should say about the WCF, and what they shouldn't say about the WCF, as all very jealous, defensive, and insecure people are always programmed to do after you've been gone over a year and have gotten yourself over on the third-rate talent by just accepting a friendly invitation from the owner of the joint as an olive branch of goodwill to participate in WAR XVI . . .”
He starts sliding down the top rung like, well, like a snake and creating locomotion through side-to-side movement and rectilinear progression, which allows him to seamlessly walk on his ribcage in what appears to be an optical illusion, and down the 25ft. ladder and onto the tatami floor.
“They have already misunderstood, miscalculated, and underestimated the star power of my condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthlessly manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle that is tailor-made for WAR XVI with my all-around, well-balanced athleticism and rebellious guerrilla warfare. . .”
She takes her proper place cradling against his muscular body and moving very little, never turning her head, or revealing any kind of expression that gives the viewing audience at home a clue as to her innermost thoughts, with the only exception being a very sharp and penetrating affection and devilishly delicious, malevolent and pleasurable, mischievously smile coming from her very luscious and alluring lips while caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
“The dark match masters of the WCF like Greg St. Matthew-san, Hank Herron-san, Leon Hayze-san, Bomber-san, Agimat-san, Bryan Devlin-san, the tag-teams of the Mop and Bucket Brigade, Tall, Tuff, & Stuff, The Very Big Alliance, Bishop-san, Priest-san, Bryan Devlin-san, Ded Memry-san, Joe Smarts-san, Jay West-san, Wolf-san, Caleb Ronan-san, Cliff of Doom-san, Biff Mustache-san, Matthew Drake-san, Biohazard-san, Johnny Alpha-san, and Bernard Core-san have reached their peak of performance in either the Alpha and tag-team division or early retirement stages of their career and have simply become only part of someone's inflated elimination count numbers at WAR XVI. . .”
He looks down at the UCI World Television Championship still wrapped perfectly around his waist, upside down, so he can see his mirror image reflecting off the television screen of the UCI World Television Championship strap. Seems like this good looking guy is the number ONE mark on everyone's list in this organization and laughs to himself.
“Holy Hajeet, I thought you were dead? If WAR XVI doesn't kill you, your taxi driving ways most definitely will. So, if anyone in the WCF is needing a ride after the show, I wouldn't accept any rides from the Royal Prince of Tripura and favorite part-time crash test dummy in wrestling. Hajeet is so popular that you may just end up like Princess Diana after the paparazzi were done chasing her down. Petrova is that really you or is this 2.0 or maybe 3.0 because yours truly destroyed your clone 2.0 last week in my first title defense in a match where my ring introduction lasted longer than our match. Petrova, I. . . must. . . break. . . vu. And just take look at the Alpha Champion, Luke Force on the Rise, pun intended, hmmm, well if Robbie the Robot could be a gay space robot in Lost in Space, then who am I one to judge your very questionable robotic B.O.B. lifestyle here in The Dub? Comparing the WCF Alpha Championship to the UCI World Television Championship is like the WCF serving near beer to the WCF Galaxy on Slam on a bi-weekly basis when and if you do defend that token title and the UCI that serves this very expense import to the UCI Fandom on a weekly basis on Overload. Lukewarm Force, you will never be the caliber of wrestler that yours truly was in this organization even with that novelty title that you are so very proud of around your waist. You really mean to tell everyone that the value of the once number 2 belt in this organization depreciated so much in over a year that it has now become simply just a novelty item for the dark match masters of this organization? Shit, happens, I guess, just like when our UCI Rising Stars Championship that David Sanchez wore around his waist went Intercontinental and he had to vacate it to run back here. Nice tribute to Mikey eXtreme, rhough. So when is the Mikey eXtreme Memorial Toilet Bowl Runneth Over Tournament beginning? Oh nevermind, I see that Lukewarm is the nugget that wouldn't flush now. Congrats. Yours truly never even had to have a Championship around my waist to Rise, pun intended, to the occasion when drawing any kind of real heat in this organization even with this UCI World Television Championship around my waist or even without it around my waist. . .”
She starts caressing the UCI World Television Championship seductively with her fingers in a “Is Oblivion really monster enough to take this Championship from around “The Handsome Half-breed” Shadowlove-san’s waist at Rite of Passage this Monday night by climbing the latter? Then again, Jessica Buck or Jack Schlongson might get lucky and steal the spotlight by climbing the ladder as well” style gesture.
“When Seth Lerch-san gave everyone in this organization two weeks to prepare for WAR XVI, The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san doesn't have that lapse of luxury to rest on his laurels and need a fortnight to prepare for one of this second-rate organization's premier events. Not The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san. He is set to defend the UCI World Television Championship at Rite of Passage in a Ladder Match against said Monster Legend, Oblivion-san, two of the lower class rejects that the WCF just signed, The Mop and Bucket Brigade, Red Dragon-san and Sah’ta Thor-san, who just happened to be former mediocre Television Champions. Red Dragon-san defeating Oblivion-san, yes, I know, that's what happens when a Monster Legend in his own mind no-shows for a match in the U. Then you have a mediocre talent, and mediocre is pushing the boundaries of sanity, Red Dragon-san losing to Sah’ta Thor-san. Then The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san easily defeating Sah’ta Thor-san in his very own Wheel of Extreme match. Although, Sah’ta Thor’s career choices may be in jeopardy since trying to hostile take over a Championship that he made up himself and no sold it to the establishment after being defeated. He will fit right at home with you bunch. Then you have a more trashier version of myself and former Television Champion and former member of David Sanchez’ Syndicate, Hot as Fuck Jessica Buck. And finally you have the whiter Andre Holmes-san’s former Tag-team Champion partner, Jack Schlongson-san. Oblivion-san, you get the first shot at becoming a hero to these people if you defeat him by pinfall or submission at Rite of Passage. But, has any real kind of defeat ever really silenced The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san? And if he loses the UCI World Television Championship at Rite of Passage then he loses the UCI World Television Championship at Rite of Passage. He never loses sleep when he wins and he never loses sleep when he loses. It will simply be just another day at the office in this hobby of ours, but mark my words, he will never go down without a fight and the memory of your encounter with The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san will always be etched into your memory. And if he overcomes the insurmountable odds against him and surprises his critics by his showing and wins WAR XVI then the whole entire World of the WCF will suddenly come to a stop and will come crashing back down like it did over a year ago down in old México. . .”
She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face showing off her intoxicating and incandescent almond shaped green eyes of the Goddess of the Rising Sun and a 21st century female samurai warrior known for her bravery and strength and starts waving her index finger back and forth in a “No, no, no, not just yet” style gesture.
“Oh Michael eXtreme, aren't you just a tad old to be called Mikey? You haven't been anything more than a cockroach In this organization ever since the WCF telenovela took place down in old México. We were indeed in a clusterfuck of a match with #beachkrew and out of that clusterfuck of a team, who exactly was the last man standing against Wade Moor, Jonathan Rabid, Jared Holmes, Andre Aquarius, Kyle Kemp and Dustin Beaver when they were in their prime and running roughshod in this organization? It sure the fuck wasn't you, Michael, you were busy being in one helluva clusterfuck Hillary versus Trump cockamamy storyline with Vengeance, now that's original. And it sure the hell wasn't anyone anyone else in that clusterfuck of a storylined match either. Yours truly was the only man standing and still managed to prove one thing, Michael, I proved to everyone in this organization that I can stand up on my own in that 6-on-1 clusterfuck beatdown and take my beating like a man from #beachkrew in their prime. I never bitched and moaned like you would've done under the same circumstance and that earned me, maybe not even an ounce of respect, but I earned a lot of self-respect in that clusterfuck of an opportunistic match. You know, I thought that I recognized you though, Michael, you were the King alright, your were that dude wearing a Burger King Crown on your head with a that lame assed Mikey name tag on your shirt, telling me, would you like some fries with that shake, sir? Now, I’m going to have it my way and I'm really gonna kick your sorry ass for fucking up everyone's order in the drive thru, you mutherfucker. . .”
His sparkling blue eyes seem to start to glaze over with anger at the thought of everyone in The Dub being stiffed by Michael “Mikey” eXtreme at the drive thru at Burger King and then his eyes start to soften at the thought of those days gone by when #beachkrew were actually something to write home to mom about in this organization.
“Kyle Kemp-san, what is that very meaningless repetitive catchphrase that you often spew out of your mouth to everyone you face? You have been this organization's People's Champion, a tag-team Champion, and even, yes, a UCI Television Champion. But you know who is better than you? You are better than you. You seem to defeat yourself just when things are going your way and when you just might step out of the shadow of Wade Moor-san, Jonathan Rabid-san, Andre Aquarius-san, Jared Holmes-san and Dustbin Beaver-san, you seem to always have an out of body experience and become like Jeff Purse-san when the pressure is on. And from what I hear about WAR XVI, you will be stepping into quite the pressure cooker. So, ladies and gentlemen of the WCF, the award for biggest choke artist of WAR XVI goes to, drum roll please, the 2017 Jeff Purse-san award for WAR XVI goes to Luke Force-san, in a landslide. Kyle Kemp-san, we respect your accomplishments but remember this, you’ve been in the squared-circle with The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san on 3 separate occasions and you haven't been able to pin his shoulders to the mat or make him submit in any kind of match so you will be very unsuccessful in WAR XVI as well. . .”
Suddenly, he seems to grab his left arm and seems to get light-headed and his sparkling blue eyes roll up into the back of his head. He wiggles and shakes and sighs and "Ice Tea" plunges back into the tatami floor and hopes that he “sold” the move to the viewing audience watching at home. He winks at the camera and rises back but as if nothing has happened.
“Dag fucking Riddik at one time we had the hottest verbal feud going in this organization over the nuances of that fictitious International Championship. The WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy were chomping at the bit for this verbal feud to come to fruition but Seth Lerch and the gang had yours truly touted as the WCF Television Champion instead. Some would say that I would've easily defeated Stuart Slate but I still wasn't the brand name that I am today. So due to some behind the scenes decision making shenanigans, Tiffany White was crowned Television Champion due to her brand name recognition behind the scenes. Wink, wink. And you know all about it don't you, Francis Patrick Venerable? But business is business and Tiffany White was a flake. So The Dub must have been really been trying to keep their quota of having over achieving WCF World Heavyweight Champions. You had a good run on your feel good story of the year with your title reign until Jared Holmes ended the party. By the way, when Jared Holmes, Jonathan Rabid, and Wade Moor tried to breath life into the already past their prime #beachkrew storyline into the UCI, I’m just wondering why you hid from Jared and the boys backstage since you were the UCI backstage announcer and the former WCF World Heavyweight Champion that he defeated? I was in the squared-circle at the time with Jared, Jonathan, and Wade and they knew what I was capable of since our last encounter here,.Jared Holmes backed down when he looked me in my sparkling blue eyes and so will the World famous UCI backstage announcer and former WCF World Heavyweight Champion FPV. . .”
A porcelain skinned Geisha wearing a Shimada-styled nihongami wig and a formal black kimonos, with her obi tied in the taiko style, enters the Dōjō and formally, ceremonially, and traditionally bows towards the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress. She helps the simply ravishing femme fatale temptress remove her most iconic Black Montsuki & Forest Green Seven Deep-pleated Hakama.
“So, Sidney J. Warwick-san, you are this so-called, self-proclaimed resident keisatsu, keisatsu, or police, police of the WCF because you are the Omega Champion by defeating Mikey eXtreme Whipwreck is that right? Have you taken a good look at the marquee that reads Wrestling Championship Federation? The WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy has never been known for it's political correctness. When they did, they had to shut down for a couple of days and rethought their strategy. The sports entertainment business will never, never be politically correct, because the Son of God, not The God, but a God has better things to do on a Sunday night in Tokyo than to listen to your diatribe about racial prejudice, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of hatred directed towards oppressed people like an over-inflated and overrated third string quarterback like yourself thinking that you were the Colin Kaepernick-san of professional wrestling. You can stereotype The Handsome Half-breed Shadowlove-san and myself all that you want with your kindergarten cop theatrics because compared to The Handsome Halfbreed Shadowlove-san, Sidney J. Warwick-san is nothing but an Infomercial like the rest of these participants when you enter into the mind of one of the most misunderstood, miscalculated, and underestimated figures in sports entertainment history with his condescending confidence and antagonistic arrogance and ruthlessly manipulative and unscrupulous influential psychological mindset toughness outside of the squared-circle and physiological skillset toughness inside of the squared-circle. . .”
He looks at his very sweet and lovely Miyamoto and for some odd reason he loses his train of thought. But before he does, he thinks to himself, “Maybe we should buy Sidney J. Warwick dinner before WAR XVI, because, he is definitely going to be mindfucked by one of the best.”
Her attractively well-proportioned, slim, trim, toned body built for sin was encased in a form-fitting Stark White Under Armour: Armour Bra 2.0 Maximum Control Wire-Free Sports Bra with Vantablack Black Sequin Karate pants. She was barefoot with stark white tape wrapped around her feet and ankles and Vantablack tape wrapped around her hands like a mixed martial artist. Once finished, the porcelain skinned Geisha quietly fades back into the darkness of the Dōjō.
“PERSONAL JESUS” by Depeche Mode starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
He runs his fingers through his his classically masculine and modern mussed, razor-textured, choppy finished dark brown hair and making his hair perfect in super slow motion then raises his arms up and straight out to his sides and bows his head, as if, being crucified on a cross. And on the third day, Jesus, wept.
“Yours truly wanted to prove one thing, and one thing only, when I returned to this organization. Yours truly proved that this organization is more afraid of the competition in the UCI rather than the competition in the UCI is afraid of anyone in this organization known as the WCF. . .”
"HER STRUT" by Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band starts to play on the Bose® (product placement) SoundTouch® (product placement) indoor/outdoor surround sound system.
She exudes fantastic supermodel energy, moving at a regular and fairly slow pace by lifting and setting down each foot in turn, never having both feet off the ground at once, with a stiff, erect, and apparently arrogant and conceited "Strut" around him as if he was being crucified on the cross.
She lowers her RayBan sunglasses down her perfectly flawless nose of her angelic looking face showing off her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes, nodding in approval at such a Magnificent Specimen, while tapping a rolled-up copy of the Wall St. Journal in the palm of her Vantablack tape wrapped hand.
She takes her proper place cradling against his muscular body and moving very little, never turning her head, or revealing any kind of expression that gives the viewing audience at home a clue as to her innermost thoughts with the exception of a very sharp and penetrating affection of a devilishly delicious, malevolent and pleasurable, mischievously smile coming from her very luscious and alluring lips as she starts caressing his muscular chest with her fingers.
"Mission, accomplished. . ."
He slowly raises his head in super slow motion and double raises an eyebrows in mock amazement as his patented malevolent, tight wolfish, whiplash smile, slowly appearing on his lips showing off perfectly white even teeth on his chiseled fighter's face in a "You people know who I am. I believe, that I need no introduction. And for those of you that don't, I'm The Face Of The Franchise, the whole F’N Show, Mr. UCI, if you will, or whatever expletive that everyone in The Dub will want to put in front of my name. Where's Seth Lerch? You sent me an invitation to participate in WAR XVI and I will be there in live and in living color. Well, well, well, Adam Young, you were all set to face Zombie McMorris and myself at Beyond this past April for the Inaugural UCI Hypermedia Championship in a Triple-threat match and the so-called, self-proclaimed greatest of all time chicken shits out and does what all chicken shits do best. You chicken danced you way out of the match because you knew that you would've lost to Zombie McMorris or myself at Beyond. Yours truly will see you all very, very soon, for one night only, anyways, since I will be in the neighborhood for WAR XVI, mang!" Scott Hall stylistic shit-eating grin.
"Yours truly has proven to all Legends, Hall-of-Famers, Gods, and Scrubs of the WCF, that it doesn't take having the UCI World Television Championship around my waist when all you, professionals, had to do is take one good look into the mirror and know that all of you aren't even close to matching what I have done with my special guest appearance here in this organization. The fact of the matter is that yours truly didn't even have to say one word in this organization in order for all of you to have all your complete and undivided attention, I just had to show my seductive handsomeness with the UCI World Television Championship wrapped perfectly around my waist and you all came out to the middle of the street for a shootout but only one of use was shooting blanks. Well, you all do have that deer caught in the headlights stare going on in this organization. . ."
He reaches inside his newly fresh and crisp custom-made Calvin Klein stark liquid white leather trench-coat with fringe and apparently appears to pull out some very stale cotton candy that you would find in every dog and pony act at some meaningless carney show and starts eating. See you soon, Jonathan Rabid.
He looks down at the UCI World Television Championship still wrapped perfectly around his waist, upside down, and still sees the reflection of a seductively handsome young fellow staring right back at him on the television screen of the UCI World Television Championship strap and begins clicking his custom-made Calvin Klein alligator skinned boots together.
There is no place like the UCI. . . There is no place like the UCI.
Seems this seductively handsome young fellow is still the number ONE mark on everyone's list in this organization and in the UCI, lately. He laughs to himself and waves, “BUH-BYE!”
He looks at his sweet and lovely Miyamoto took take them out until next time when they talk about the favorites to win WAR XVI, Odin Balfore, Steve Orbit, Jay Omega, Bonnie Blue, David Sanchez, Gravedigger, Andre Holmes, Ethan King, those other mysteriously well-known and unknown individuals that will very likely making an appearance, and that seductively handsome young fellow by the name of Shadowlove, who is a complete underdog, longshot, wildcard, and now a complete fan favorite in these festivities at WAR XVI in promo, part three.
She pauses. Then. . .
Her intoxicating and incandescent almond shaped green eyes scans back and forth like The Terminator then focuses on the camera and looks into the eyes of the WCF Hierarchy, every wrestler in the back, and the WCF Galaxy watching at home and showing no emotion on her angelic looking face then slices her own throat from her left carotid artery to her right carotid artery with her right index finger and makes an imaginary blood explosion style gesture with her left hand.
Then. . .
She raises her RayBan sunglasses up her perfectly flawless nose on her angelic looking face while hiding her intoxicatingly, incandescent almond shaped green eyes with her middle finger.
