Post by The Very Big Śpainards on Sept 24, 2017 15:42:02 GMT -5
(The scene opens at a pixelated version of DarkNetTowers. The Chicago skyline can be seen through pixelated windows. The camera pans left showing a pixelated William and Ainsley relaxing by the water cooler, William us holding a pixelated Internet Championship. Ainsley looks down at his hands and sighs)
William: What a wonderful day in the beautiful city of Chicago! What do you wanna do Ainsley? We could eat a cake, Or play video games, Or we could even eat watch the emoji movie for the 5th time this week.
Ainsley: it's Tuesday..
William: But I think I'd rather roast my co-workers on the internet while holding on to my precious internet title.
William walked over to his 'desk'. Although he was pixelated and him walking was 2 frames you could stull see how fatigued he was getting from walking a short distance.
After William had left the area Ainsley made a quick check to see if anybody was around him. They weren't. Ainsley snickered to himself and pulled something out from his pocket. A red mushroom. Ainsley looked at the mushroom lustfully.
Ainsley: Hehe..High time is now heheheh....
Ainsley swallowed the mushroom in one bite expecting to get into a drugged state. Instead the mushroom disappeared in his mouth and a white 1000 appeared above his head.
Ainsley: What...the fu-?
William: Ainsley!!
Ainsley jerked back in shock as William came sprinting back over to him.
Ainsley: Wha- What's up?!
William: Look!
William handed Ainsley a note.
The note read 'BWAHAHAHA! I've stolen your prestiegous and hard earned Internet Title, Want to get it back? Come find me in 1-4- I mean- My castle! Hehehehe!
Ainsley looked at William dumb founded.
Ainsley: We're doing a Mario thing?
William: Listen Ainsley, I'm not happy about it either but the super Mario guy isn't here anymore and somebody has to do the video game reference, and those body's are us body's, so shut your trap and let's go to the first level.
Ainsley: How do we get to the first level?
William: Well you know this is a Mario game so...
William looked to the right and his mind cringed at even the slightest thought of what he was going to do next. Ainsley noticed William's pained expression and looked as well.
The toilets.
Ainsley: Oh no...
LEVEL 1:
WILLIAM LIVES - 3
AINSLEY LIVES - 3
(The scene opens at a snow covered hill with a large green pipe comic out of the centre)
William was sat down leaning against a huge green pipe completely soaked in what appeared to be sewage water. His eyes showing no emotion.
Meanwhile Ainsley was a few steps behind the green pipe, vomiting.
William: Oh my gosh...That's- that's the most disgusting thing I've ever done.
William looked at his hands and started shaking.
William: How did- How did we even fit down there, man?! It- It- It doesn't make any sense!
Ainsley had stopped vomiting by this point and was now leaning on the green pipe.
Ainsley: I saw something move..It wasn't me...it wasn't you...I- I- I don't know-! That was just disgusting.
William: How the frick- How does- How Mario dp that all day? He do it allllll day! It makes no sense!
Ainsley: Ah, you know what it is?
William: What?
Ainsley: You know what it is?
William: What? What is it?
Ainsley: No nostrils.
William: Aww dang, of course! Can't smell all that crap if you got a fricking pear for a nose.
William slowly got onto his feet and walked towards the edge of the hill they were standing on.
William: Speaking of trash...
There were huge letter above what appeared to be a grey snow covered path.
World 1 - Soviet Russia
Ainsley: I didn't know you hated Russia.
William: I hate every country that isn't America.
Ainsley wiped some sewage off of his forehead and shot William a dirty look.
William:...Or Hungaria
Ainsley: It's Hungary.
William: I don't caaaare! Let's go so I can get the taste of sewage water out of my mouth already.
William walked down the path slowly, grasping his stomach to make sure he didn't throw up. Ainsley soon followed at an even slower pace.
William came across a stand off between two men both dressed up in wrestling gear. One of them shouted at the other and made a finger gun motion and the other wrestlers head exploded into tiny pixels instantly.
William: Oh.. I get it.
William took the hand he had been using to repress his volatile stomach and put it into a finger gun motion.
William: Instead of jumping on people, you have to insult them and make a little fake gun motion.
Ainsley looked at William, bewildered at how William could make such a broad assumption so quickly but before he could complain William had dashed towards the wrestler.
William held out two 'pistols' and started to run towards what appeared to be a pixelated Agimat.
William: Your so irrelevant you don't even have a last name!
William pretended to fire the fake pistol and sure enough Agitmats pixel face exploded.
Ainsley rand over to William who was proudly blowing the fake smoke from his fake gun.
William: See Aisnley? It's like what we do in real life.
Ainsley: Yeah but, you don't have a last name either.
William confident face turned into one filled with dread as he turned to see the pixel bullet coming straight back at him.
William: Ohshitohshitohshit. Aisnley! It's Cunningham, I mentioned it once in a promo-!
The bullet whizzed past William's head barely missing him. After a solid 20 seconds of standing completely still, William started to breathe again.
William: Ha! I'm invincible HAHAHAHA!
William gleefully skipped across the snowy fields, closely followed by his partner and finally happy that it at last seemed like what he said matters.
He walked across the space for a short amount of time before finally coming across what he had been looking for. A really small single tower castle with a flagpole on top.
William gleefully ran inside as Ainsley slowly followed him in about a minute later.
When Ainsley got inside he saw William waiting about 4 steps in front of the gate.
William: Ainsley!
William shouted while still facing forward.
Ainsley: W-what?
William: I can't move!
Ainsley: What?
William: I can't move! If somethung bad happens to me it's your fault so fix this crap so I can go back to beating the level.
Ainsley walked next to his partner, Williams mouth was stuck open and his head was conpletely still. Ainsley decided the best way to see the situatuon was to go right in front of Williams face (and spit in his mouth) but, almost as if god had heard what he planned to do and decided to punish, Ainsley was unable to move any part of his body. Williams right pupil slowly tuened to look at his partner.
William: Tell me you did not do what I just saw you do.
Ainsley: Ok, Ok maybe I should've seen this one coming-
William: Seen it fucking coming?! I'm fucking stuck like a goshdamn tree and you decide to go in the exact same spot I was in?
Ainsley: Hey- Hey lay off man, it's a fricking maaario land.
William: I don't give a crap about no Maaaaerio land! I-
Ainsley: This is a Maaaario land, It's all wacky, and- and crazy and nothing makes sense.
William: You're about to not make sense in a fricking- I dunno!
Ainsley: We're all having fun.
William: Fun?! If I stay like this for man than a few days I'll starve!
Ainsley: I'm pretty sure it's gonna be more than a few days-
William: What's that supposed to mean?!
Ainsley: It means if you wanted to you could fucking hibernate, there I said it.
William: BITCH! BISH! BISH- I choke you right nooooow!
William make an attempt to choke Ainsley out but his body was too frozen. Eventually the entrance behind them froze and a large buzzing sound could be heard above William and Ainsley.
King of the deathmatch winner FPV came down from the shadow covered ceiling of the castle on top of an Amazon drone.
William: Oh shit Ainsley! Of course FPV is in Soviet Russia! He's a hacker! He's gonna beat us up and then leak private information of ours! I'm internet champion so I can just delete his leaks but you Ainsley? Well I hope you enjoy your last few moments as a dignified man.
Ainsley: Ooooh this is what i've been waiting for, no dignity no shame, DO YOUR FUCKING WOOORST, NERD!!
The pixelated FPV let out a stereotypical bond villain laugh.
FPV: Haha! VBS, You'll never get your internet championship back! The totally real and not made up conspiracy against the Very Big Security codenamed the
Greedy
Intelligent
People
Seeking the
Isolation and
Evisceration of the Very Big
Security
Have stolen your precious IT title, and using it we'll become the best wrestlers in the entire world! Hahaha!
William: See Ainsley? The conspiracy was real, I was right!
Ainsley: No it isn't William, it's just the game trying to make you feel better.
William: There's no proof of that Ivanovic.
Ainsley: If you initialize the codename it spells G.I.P.S.I.E.S! It's obviously fake.
William growled angrily, annoyed he couldn't slap Ainsley right there for doubting the conspiracy that he definetely had proof of but his completely real pet guinea pig ate the proof and so he can't show anyone. William brpught his attention to the pixelated FPV and devided to try and talk it out.
William: FPV You're plan doesn't link up man, I- I don't see how- I don't see how stealing one championship is gonna make you the best wrestler in the world.
Ainsley: Yeah man, If you did want to steal a championship to make people think you're the best I don't think the internet title is the best for that.
William: Hey!
Ainsley: Listen William, All titles in WCF are incredibly prestigious and only the best hold them. But I mean, there's the title that's for the most hardcore, dangerous people in wrestling. And then there's the one named after the same place where Gay Furry Porn was invented.
William: THAT'S STILL BETTER THAN ANY TITLE YOU'LL HOLD, YOU PERSIAN CUCK!
The pixel FPV flew down at them and started throwing spiky shells at the Very Big Security. William and Ainsley both instinctively ran away. They both dove into a tiny gap that was for some reason dug out near the far right. FPV continued throwing Shells like any normal mario enemy would. The pair in the gap used this time to catch their breath.
Ainsley: Did you call me a fucking Persian?
William: Not now Ainsley, We need to figure out how to face this Lizard Squad Goon.
Ainsley: Well how do you beat normal Mario bosses?
William Thought to himself for a good few seconds, then an idea popped into his head.
William: We'll use the switch to knock him off and fall into the lava and then watch as he burns to death!
Ainsley: Look at your surroundings, William.
William looked at FPV for a good 2 minutes before turning back to his partner with a confused look.
William: I don't see why the lava thing won't work-
Ainsley: He's in the AIR, William! And there's no switch anyway.
William growled at his partner for raising his voice at him. Another thought somehow came from Williams rock of a brain.
William: Ainsley! I need to junp on your head.
Ainsley: Your shoes aren't gonna become shiny if you wipe them on my head, We've been over this.
William: This is different Ainsley! If I jump on your head, I'll get enough height to jump on FPV's head, and- and to be honest that'd probably kill him even if this wasn't mario.
Ainsley: Are you sure that's gonna work?
William: Trust me, Ainsley. There's no possible way this could fail!
Ainsley reluctantly nodded and ran out into the open. Pixelated FPV spotted him and zoomed towards him.
FPV: Time to administrate your demise!!
Ainsley: Heh....I get it.
Just as FPV was about to him Ainsley, William leaped into the air and went to step on Ainsley's head. But gravity isn't gonna change itself because some idiot wanted one of his plans to work. William didn't jump nearly as high to get on Aisnley's head and ended up kneeing the hungarian in the head and slamming on to the floor. Ainsley yelped in pain and held his head in pain. FPixelV's Amazon Drone clicked the side of Ainsley's arm and FPixelV tumbled off onto the ground head first. He bursted into a flash of light. And after the light died down the only part of FPV left was a small key.
Ainsley: You fricking stupid goon! You nearly gave me a concussion!
William: You think that's bad? My beautiful fave was nearly torn open because of your inefficency to crouch properly!
Ainsley: My crouching ability is VERY efficent! And we should both be dead anyway there's no way that weird pixel version of FPV didn't see us.
William: This is fricking Maaario Ainsley. That's not FPV that's a Maaaaario enemy and they're content with firing at nothing for the rest of their lives.
William picked up the key and instantly a door on the other side of the room they were in opened. William, now used to hiw luttle sense all of this made walked through the opened gate followed by his partner.
The next room was different from the previous one. Instead of a solid floor there were two brick platforms near the entrance to the room and the exit. The platforms were surrounded by hot lava and the only thing connecting the platforms was a wide wooden bridge. Above the exit gate there was a balcony with a tiny catatpillar on top of the peoples championship.
William: Oh fuck it's Gravedigger! I knew he was working for the Russians!
Ainsley: Gravedigger? That's just a fricking catarpillar, William.
William: No! The catarpillar is Gravedigger!
Ainsley: So you're saying a catarpillar beat both of us clean in a handicap match?
William:....
Ainsley: William?
William: Lets-a-go!
Ainsley: You didn't answer th-
William: LETS-A-GO!!
William moved forwaed towards the balcony expecting the catapillar to leap down to the floor somehow. Instead the gate behund them closed and the gate before them opened and a group of Hispanic men walk out wearing russian miltary uniforms.
Ainsley: Ah fuck it's one of them crappy Enemy Gauntlets where instead of fighting an actual boss you fight a bunch of dudes we've already fought.
William: I've never fought any mexicans before. Always thought they'd have a chili in their pocket or something and they'd make me eat it. I'd eat it anyway but it'd have mexicaness on it.
Ainsley: An-And neither- and n-neither have I, you know, C-c-can't- Can't be doing none of- none o- no that stuff you know? I didn't do it!
The Mexicans all simultaneously reached into their pockets and pulled out knives or batons. They started to walk towards William and Ainsley.
William: Well we better do something before we get jumped, Ainsley.
Ainsley: Don't I worry I got this, I do it all the time.
William: What?
Ainsley: NOTHING!
Ainsley walked on to the wooden bridge and pointed to the lava.
Ainsley: Look! Tacos!
William: Ainsley!
Ainsley: What?
William: That's racist! Let me handle this.
William walked on to the bridge somehow not bursting through and hitting the lava. Ainsley stepped back and William took a deep breath.
William: Look! Border Patrol!
The mexicans devolved into a panic, most ran back up the exit, others fell to their knees trying to hide. One gave up and just leaped head first into the lava without a shadow of regret.
William: See? That worked.
William and Ainsley walked up to the final room. This was no doubt the biggest room in the pixel castle. It was maybe a mile long. The room had a staircase leading up to a flagpole.
William: Well looks like that's the goal, let's get outta here.
William walked forawrd a couple steps before a large metal noise stopped him in his tracks. It came from above him. Before William could loom up a giant tank fell from the ceiling and started driving towards the pair.
Ainsley: Is that a fricking tank?!
William: Oh my god Ainsley look who it is!
The tank continued to roll forwards. Ainsley slowly walked out of the way and it still rolled forwards. It eventually hit the wall behind William and Ainsley yet the engine was still rolling. VBS walked towards the tank and William picked up a note that was celetaped on the tank.
Note: Apologies, Mr Petrov cannot be a boss in your mario ripoff rp.
-Yours sincerely, Anonymous
William scrumpled up the paper in amger and threw it away.
William: This is a load of crap!
Ainsley: What?
William: We're doing a fricking Sovuet Russia Level and Petrov isn't even fricking here!
Ainsley: Why not just put someone else as the boss?
William: Because it's Soviet fricking Russia, Gravedigger and FPV where only here because I made crazy exaggerations, Petrov's the only legit Rusaian here and he's not here!!
Ainsley: We just finished fighting a fricking catarpillar and his Soviet Mexican Goons I don't think we should worry about making sense.
William: You're right. Let's just put like 5 random dudes here and be done with this.
William clicked his fingers and pixelated versions of Trey Carter, Kyle Kemp, Red Dragon and Mathew Drake all appeared out of nowhere and fell down jn a straight line. William walked over to Carter.
William: You suck so much you got fricking possessed, boom roasted.
Trey Carters body dissapeared in a flash of light obviously due to how bias the world they were in was.
William: Kyle Kemp, You're the most basic wrestler ever to have an alliterative name, Boom roasted.
Drake You're the most basic wrestler, period.
And finally Red Dragon. You're such a basic luchador I could put a mask on to the starting template of any wrestling games where you can make a wrestler and I would have probably imitated you perfectly. Boom. Roasted. Ok I'm done now, finish.
Ainsley: You know Singh was right you are a lot like Michael Scarn.
William jumped up the stone staircase and touched the flagpole. The G.I.P.S.I.E flag camr down and a flag with the VBS logo went up.
William: There! I beat the first level, now make the castle explode and I'll move on to the next one. Where's the end castle? I went through all this and I don't even get to see the castle expl-
William looked down at his feet and remembered that he was standing on a stone castle.
William: OH SHI-
The castle exploded beautifully. Way more than in any normal kids game. Probably more than in any m rated action game. Through the debris flying in the air you could clearly see two humanoid figures blasting into the sky.
William: What a wonderful day in the beautiful city of Chicago! What do you wanna do Ainsley? We could eat a cake, Or play video games, Or we could even eat watch the emoji movie for the 5th time this week.
Ainsley: it's Tuesday..
William: But I think I'd rather roast my co-workers on the internet while holding on to my precious internet title.
William walked over to his 'desk'. Although he was pixelated and him walking was 2 frames you could stull see how fatigued he was getting from walking a short distance.
After William had left the area Ainsley made a quick check to see if anybody was around him. They weren't. Ainsley snickered to himself and pulled something out from his pocket. A red mushroom. Ainsley looked at the mushroom lustfully.
Ainsley: Hehe..High time is now heheheh....
Ainsley swallowed the mushroom in one bite expecting to get into a drugged state. Instead the mushroom disappeared in his mouth and a white 1000 appeared above his head.
Ainsley: What...the fu-?
William: Ainsley!!
Ainsley jerked back in shock as William came sprinting back over to him.
Ainsley: Wha- What's up?!
William: Look!
William handed Ainsley a note.
The note read 'BWAHAHAHA! I've stolen your prestiegous and hard earned Internet Title, Want to get it back? Come find me in 1-4- I mean- My castle! Hehehehe!
Ainsley looked at William dumb founded.
Ainsley: We're doing a Mario thing?
William: Listen Ainsley, I'm not happy about it either but the super Mario guy isn't here anymore and somebody has to do the video game reference, and those body's are us body's, so shut your trap and let's go to the first level.
Ainsley: How do we get to the first level?
William: Well you know this is a Mario game so...
William looked to the right and his mind cringed at even the slightest thought of what he was going to do next. Ainsley noticed William's pained expression and looked as well.
The toilets.
Ainsley: Oh no...
LEVEL 1:
WILLIAM LIVES - 3
AINSLEY LIVES - 3
(The scene opens at a snow covered hill with a large green pipe comic out of the centre)
William was sat down leaning against a huge green pipe completely soaked in what appeared to be sewage water. His eyes showing no emotion.
Meanwhile Ainsley was a few steps behind the green pipe, vomiting.
William: Oh my gosh...That's- that's the most disgusting thing I've ever done.
William looked at his hands and started shaking.
William: How did- How did we even fit down there, man?! It- It- It doesn't make any sense!
Ainsley had stopped vomiting by this point and was now leaning on the green pipe.
Ainsley: I saw something move..It wasn't me...it wasn't you...I- I- I don't know-! That was just disgusting.
William: How the frick- How does- How Mario dp that all day? He do it allllll day! It makes no sense!
Ainsley: Ah, you know what it is?
William: What?
Ainsley: You know what it is?
William: What? What is it?
Ainsley: No nostrils.
William: Aww dang, of course! Can't smell all that crap if you got a fricking pear for a nose.
William slowly got onto his feet and walked towards the edge of the hill they were standing on.
William: Speaking of trash...
There were huge letter above what appeared to be a grey snow covered path.
World 1 - Soviet Russia
Ainsley: I didn't know you hated Russia.
William: I hate every country that isn't America.
Ainsley wiped some sewage off of his forehead and shot William a dirty look.
William:...Or Hungaria
Ainsley: It's Hungary.
William: I don't caaaare! Let's go so I can get the taste of sewage water out of my mouth already.
William walked down the path slowly, grasping his stomach to make sure he didn't throw up. Ainsley soon followed at an even slower pace.
William came across a stand off between two men both dressed up in wrestling gear. One of them shouted at the other and made a finger gun motion and the other wrestlers head exploded into tiny pixels instantly.
William: Oh.. I get it.
William took the hand he had been using to repress his volatile stomach and put it into a finger gun motion.
William: Instead of jumping on people, you have to insult them and make a little fake gun motion.
Ainsley looked at William, bewildered at how William could make such a broad assumption so quickly but before he could complain William had dashed towards the wrestler.
William held out two 'pistols' and started to run towards what appeared to be a pixelated Agimat.
William: Your so irrelevant you don't even have a last name!
William pretended to fire the fake pistol and sure enough Agitmats pixel face exploded.
Ainsley rand over to William who was proudly blowing the fake smoke from his fake gun.
William: See Aisnley? It's like what we do in real life.
Ainsley: Yeah but, you don't have a last name either.
William confident face turned into one filled with dread as he turned to see the pixel bullet coming straight back at him.
William: Ohshitohshitohshit. Aisnley! It's Cunningham, I mentioned it once in a promo-!
The bullet whizzed past William's head barely missing him. After a solid 20 seconds of standing completely still, William started to breathe again.
William: Ha! I'm invincible HAHAHAHA!
William gleefully skipped across the snowy fields, closely followed by his partner and finally happy that it at last seemed like what he said matters.
He walked across the space for a short amount of time before finally coming across what he had been looking for. A really small single tower castle with a flagpole on top.
William gleefully ran inside as Ainsley slowly followed him in about a minute later.
When Ainsley got inside he saw William waiting about 4 steps in front of the gate.
William: Ainsley!
William shouted while still facing forward.
Ainsley: W-what?
William: I can't move!
Ainsley: What?
William: I can't move! If somethung bad happens to me it's your fault so fix this crap so I can go back to beating the level.
Ainsley walked next to his partner, Williams mouth was stuck open and his head was conpletely still. Ainsley decided the best way to see the situatuon was to go right in front of Williams face (and spit in his mouth) but, almost as if god had heard what he planned to do and decided to punish, Ainsley was unable to move any part of his body. Williams right pupil slowly tuened to look at his partner.
William: Tell me you did not do what I just saw you do.
Ainsley: Ok, Ok maybe I should've seen this one coming-
William: Seen it fucking coming?! I'm fucking stuck like a goshdamn tree and you decide to go in the exact same spot I was in?
Ainsley: Hey- Hey lay off man, it's a fricking maaario land.
William: I don't give a crap about no Maaaaerio land! I-
Ainsley: This is a Maaaario land, It's all wacky, and- and crazy and nothing makes sense.
William: You're about to not make sense in a fricking- I dunno!
Ainsley: We're all having fun.
William: Fun?! If I stay like this for man than a few days I'll starve!
Ainsley: I'm pretty sure it's gonna be more than a few days-
William: What's that supposed to mean?!
Ainsley: It means if you wanted to you could fucking hibernate, there I said it.
William: BITCH! BISH! BISH- I choke you right nooooow!
William make an attempt to choke Ainsley out but his body was too frozen. Eventually the entrance behind them froze and a large buzzing sound could be heard above William and Ainsley.
King of the deathmatch winner FPV came down from the shadow covered ceiling of the castle on top of an Amazon drone.
William: Oh shit Ainsley! Of course FPV is in Soviet Russia! He's a hacker! He's gonna beat us up and then leak private information of ours! I'm internet champion so I can just delete his leaks but you Ainsley? Well I hope you enjoy your last few moments as a dignified man.
Ainsley: Ooooh this is what i've been waiting for, no dignity no shame, DO YOUR FUCKING WOOORST, NERD!!
The pixelated FPV let out a stereotypical bond villain laugh.
FPV: Haha! VBS, You'll never get your internet championship back! The totally real and not made up conspiracy against the Very Big Security codenamed the
Greedy
Intelligent
People
Seeking the
Isolation and
Evisceration of the Very Big
Security
Have stolen your precious IT title, and using it we'll become the best wrestlers in the entire world! Hahaha!
William: See Ainsley? The conspiracy was real, I was right!
Ainsley: No it isn't William, it's just the game trying to make you feel better.
William: There's no proof of that Ivanovic.
Ainsley: If you initialize the codename it spells G.I.P.S.I.E.S! It's obviously fake.
William growled angrily, annoyed he couldn't slap Ainsley right there for doubting the conspiracy that he definetely had proof of but his completely real pet guinea pig ate the proof and so he can't show anyone. William brpught his attention to the pixelated FPV and devided to try and talk it out.
William: FPV You're plan doesn't link up man, I- I don't see how- I don't see how stealing one championship is gonna make you the best wrestler in the world.
Ainsley: Yeah man, If you did want to steal a championship to make people think you're the best I don't think the internet title is the best for that.
William: Hey!
Ainsley: Listen William, All titles in WCF are incredibly prestigious and only the best hold them. But I mean, there's the title that's for the most hardcore, dangerous people in wrestling. And then there's the one named after the same place where Gay Furry Porn was invented.
William: THAT'S STILL BETTER THAN ANY TITLE YOU'LL HOLD, YOU PERSIAN CUCK!
The pixel FPV flew down at them and started throwing spiky shells at the Very Big Security. William and Ainsley both instinctively ran away. They both dove into a tiny gap that was for some reason dug out near the far right. FPV continued throwing Shells like any normal mario enemy would. The pair in the gap used this time to catch their breath.
Ainsley: Did you call me a fucking Persian?
William: Not now Ainsley, We need to figure out how to face this Lizard Squad Goon.
Ainsley: Well how do you beat normal Mario bosses?
William Thought to himself for a good few seconds, then an idea popped into his head.
William: We'll use the switch to knock him off and fall into the lava and then watch as he burns to death!
Ainsley: Look at your surroundings, William.
William looked at FPV for a good 2 minutes before turning back to his partner with a confused look.
William: I don't see why the lava thing won't work-
Ainsley: He's in the AIR, William! And there's no switch anyway.
William growled at his partner for raising his voice at him. Another thought somehow came from Williams rock of a brain.
William: Ainsley! I need to junp on your head.
Ainsley: Your shoes aren't gonna become shiny if you wipe them on my head, We've been over this.
William: This is different Ainsley! If I jump on your head, I'll get enough height to jump on FPV's head, and- and to be honest that'd probably kill him even if this wasn't mario.
Ainsley: Are you sure that's gonna work?
William: Trust me, Ainsley. There's no possible way this could fail!
Ainsley reluctantly nodded and ran out into the open. Pixelated FPV spotted him and zoomed towards him.
FPV: Time to administrate your demise!!
Ainsley: Heh....I get it.
Just as FPV was about to him Ainsley, William leaped into the air and went to step on Ainsley's head. But gravity isn't gonna change itself because some idiot wanted one of his plans to work. William didn't jump nearly as high to get on Aisnley's head and ended up kneeing the hungarian in the head and slamming on to the floor. Ainsley yelped in pain and held his head in pain. FPixelV's Amazon Drone clicked the side of Ainsley's arm and FPixelV tumbled off onto the ground head first. He bursted into a flash of light. And after the light died down the only part of FPV left was a small key.
Ainsley: You fricking stupid goon! You nearly gave me a concussion!
William: You think that's bad? My beautiful fave was nearly torn open because of your inefficency to crouch properly!
Ainsley: My crouching ability is VERY efficent! And we should both be dead anyway there's no way that weird pixel version of FPV didn't see us.
William: This is fricking Maaario Ainsley. That's not FPV that's a Maaaaario enemy and they're content with firing at nothing for the rest of their lives.
William picked up the key and instantly a door on the other side of the room they were in opened. William, now used to hiw luttle sense all of this made walked through the opened gate followed by his partner.
The next room was different from the previous one. Instead of a solid floor there were two brick platforms near the entrance to the room and the exit. The platforms were surrounded by hot lava and the only thing connecting the platforms was a wide wooden bridge. Above the exit gate there was a balcony with a tiny catatpillar on top of the peoples championship.
William: Oh fuck it's Gravedigger! I knew he was working for the Russians!
Ainsley: Gravedigger? That's just a fricking catarpillar, William.
William: No! The catarpillar is Gravedigger!
Ainsley: So you're saying a catarpillar beat both of us clean in a handicap match?
William:....
Ainsley: William?
William: Lets-a-go!
Ainsley: You didn't answer th-
William: LETS-A-GO!!
William moved forwaed towards the balcony expecting the catapillar to leap down to the floor somehow. Instead the gate behund them closed and the gate before them opened and a group of Hispanic men walk out wearing russian miltary uniforms.
Ainsley: Ah fuck it's one of them crappy Enemy Gauntlets where instead of fighting an actual boss you fight a bunch of dudes we've already fought.
William: I've never fought any mexicans before. Always thought they'd have a chili in their pocket or something and they'd make me eat it. I'd eat it anyway but it'd have mexicaness on it.
Ainsley: An-And neither- and n-neither have I, you know, C-c-can't- Can't be doing none of- none o- no that stuff you know? I didn't do it!
The Mexicans all simultaneously reached into their pockets and pulled out knives or batons. They started to walk towards William and Ainsley.
William: Well we better do something before we get jumped, Ainsley.
Ainsley: Don't I worry I got this, I do it all the time.
William: What?
Ainsley: NOTHING!
Ainsley walked on to the wooden bridge and pointed to the lava.
Ainsley: Look! Tacos!
William: Ainsley!
Ainsley: What?
William: That's racist! Let me handle this.
William walked on to the bridge somehow not bursting through and hitting the lava. Ainsley stepped back and William took a deep breath.
William: Look! Border Patrol!
The mexicans devolved into a panic, most ran back up the exit, others fell to their knees trying to hide. One gave up and just leaped head first into the lava without a shadow of regret.
William: See? That worked.
William and Ainsley walked up to the final room. This was no doubt the biggest room in the pixel castle. It was maybe a mile long. The room had a staircase leading up to a flagpole.
William: Well looks like that's the goal, let's get outta here.
William walked forawrd a couple steps before a large metal noise stopped him in his tracks. It came from above him. Before William could loom up a giant tank fell from the ceiling and started driving towards the pair.
Ainsley: Is that a fricking tank?!
William: Oh my god Ainsley look who it is!
The tank continued to roll forwards. Ainsley slowly walked out of the way and it still rolled forwards. It eventually hit the wall behind William and Ainsley yet the engine was still rolling. VBS walked towards the tank and William picked up a note that was celetaped on the tank.
Note: Apologies, Mr Petrov cannot be a boss in your mario ripoff rp.
-Yours sincerely, Anonymous
William scrumpled up the paper in amger and threw it away.
William: This is a load of crap!
Ainsley: What?
William: We're doing a fricking Sovuet Russia Level and Petrov isn't even fricking here!
Ainsley: Why not just put someone else as the boss?
William: Because it's Soviet fricking Russia, Gravedigger and FPV where only here because I made crazy exaggerations, Petrov's the only legit Rusaian here and he's not here!!
Ainsley: We just finished fighting a fricking catarpillar and his Soviet Mexican Goons I don't think we should worry about making sense.
William: You're right. Let's just put like 5 random dudes here and be done with this.
William clicked his fingers and pixelated versions of Trey Carter, Kyle Kemp, Red Dragon and Mathew Drake all appeared out of nowhere and fell down jn a straight line. William walked over to Carter.
William: You suck so much you got fricking possessed, boom roasted.
Trey Carters body dissapeared in a flash of light obviously due to how bias the world they were in was.
William: Kyle Kemp, You're the most basic wrestler ever to have an alliterative name, Boom roasted.
Drake You're the most basic wrestler, period.
And finally Red Dragon. You're such a basic luchador I could put a mask on to the starting template of any wrestling games where you can make a wrestler and I would have probably imitated you perfectly. Boom. Roasted. Ok I'm done now, finish.
Ainsley: You know Singh was right you are a lot like Michael Scarn.
William jumped up the stone staircase and touched the flagpole. The G.I.P.S.I.E flag camr down and a flag with the VBS logo went up.
William: There! I beat the first level, now make the castle explode and I'll move on to the next one. Where's the end castle? I went through all this and I don't even get to see the castle expl-
William looked down at his feet and remembered that he was standing on a stone castle.
William: OH SHI-
The castle exploded beautifully. Way more than in any normal kids game. Probably more than in any m rated action game. Through the debris flying in the air you could clearly see two humanoid figures blasting into the sky.
