30 for 30: Gravedigger wins War XVI - Part 3

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For Whom The Bell Tolls

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The scene opens up to Torture seated in a chair. His trademark faux hawk still exists, but it’s got some natural gray to it as does his facial hair. Despite everyone knowing who this legend is, the following words fade in on the bottom left corner of the screen:

Torture
Former WCF Wrestler, WCF Hall of Famer, Father to current World Champion Avery, Omega Champion Chase
July 1st, 2035

Torture has his smart phone in his hand and is looking down at it with a look of concentration on his face.

Torture: So, how many Ls do you guys usually put in LOLFGT? Like if I put LOLOLFGT is that more powerful than just LOLFGT? Maybe I should send a text to my duder ZMac and ask him. Is ZMac still alive?

Torture looks up as someone says something off camera.

Torture: Oh, we’re rolling? Shit, you should have said something. Hey WCF, what is up? It’s your favorite and only deserving Hall of Famer, Torture! First of all, you’re welcome that I made sure Seth never put Jayson Price in the Hall of Fame. You know, I think it’s kinda weird that WCF has me talking in my own tribute DVD, but whatev---

Torture is cut off when someone says something off camera to him again.

Torture: What? This is for Gravedigger? LOL Why? You guys called me up here to do some video on that faggot?

Torture laughs at the camera.

Torture: I’m kidding, guys. So we’re talking about what you said? His War XVI win? Yeah that shit was fucking awesome. I got to see my old friend Gravedigger win War a second time. Shit, I never won the damn thing myself. I’m just glad we didn’t have to see Jay Omega, Logan, or any of those other fucking jobbers win the thing again.

I mean, I would have done it better than FGTdigger would have. I know he’s a little older than me but that fat fuck looked gassed the whole fucking time. Sorry, I shouldn’t be saying this shit, you know karma and all that shit. I will brag though about that casket match when I literally buried that guy at XIII like 50 years ago or however long ago it was.

But nah, it was great watching him get that second War win and going on to main event One that year. Wait what? Don’t talk about that? Why the fuck not? I thought I was here talking about Gravedigger? Oh just the War match? So if I talk about One, I’m spoiling shit? Fuck you, I’ll spoil everything! I’m Torture, you don’t tell me what to do!

The scene fades out as Torture continues to rant.

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The following letter was obtained from the spouse of Gravedigger. To give her privacy, her name has been censored.

“To the love of my life,

[censored], I am so excited to be marrying you in a few months. I truly am experiencing one of the happiest times of my life right now as I write this letter to you. My love for you grows with each passing day. I sit here in my late-40s and I can say with complete honesty that I never expected to be a married man like I will soon be. It just never seemed to appeal to me, especially with all my years as a professional wrestler. Life on the road and especially in that environment are not conducive (thanks for the word-a-day calendar!) to a marriage. Those days have ended now and I decided to finally settle down, from an active wrestler standpoint, and that’s when I met you.

So, you wanted us to write letters to each other, talking about a great and memorable moment of our lives from before we met each other. Something we could read to each other and then compare with our lives together years down the road. It didn’t take me a whole lot of thinking to come up with it since it was an event that happened in the last ten years: winning War XVI.

I know you’re rolling your eyes right now because of course I’d pick a wrestling moment, right? But yeah, winning War XVI was a special moment for me. Not necessarily because of what it led to at One a couple of months later, but because it was the culmination of months, or arguably years, of attempts at getting to the top of the mountain once more.

Winning War, WCF’s Royal Rumble where eliminations are via pinfall/submission, is a bastard of a match to win the first time, but twice? Almost unheard of unless your name is Logan. I had been pushing myself for months, hitting the gym extra hard to keep myself in as great of shape as you can be in for a man of the age of 42. I mean I looked better than half the men in the match, which is sad when most of them are in their 20s and early 30s. I take pride in every part of myself as a wrestler from my looks to my wardrobe to my promos to my wrestling routine. None of it is overlooked and it paid off in dividends when I hit that final Death Driver of the match and got the victory.

I look forward to reading your letter and making you my wife in a few months. It is going to become the best moment of my life pushing War XVI to the second place spot with ease. I love you more than you’ll ever know, [censored].

Love,

John Burroughs

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Bonnie Blue. First, I have to thank you. I have to thank you for beating David Sanchez a few months ago. I know that’s been a while now. Four months? But holy shit, it feels great to see that jackass get his comeuppance and I know there’s no one more happy about that fact than you. I’m sure when you saw me eliminate him at Ultimate Showdown, you probably cheered. You probably also saw me wink at the camera. That was for you, by the way. Actually, it wasn’t. I lied. I didn’t fucking wink at the camera and definitely not at you. Fuck you, Bonnie. I’ll just say it now. I may be a big fan of UCI, being one of its members of the commentary table, but this isn’t UCI. This is WCF. I know this isn’t your first trip to the world of WCF, but it’s definitely not going to be a pleasant one if we’re in the ring together. No, I’m not going to target you or anything, I just think it would be great to give you a heads up.

To risk ripping off someone else’s catchphrase in wrestling, WCF is MY yard. I don’t give a fuck if you are a Time Witch and whatever the fuck that means. If you get in my way of winning War, you’re going to get buried just like all the others.

Oblivion, my old friend. It’s great to see you alive and kicking. I still remember your early days as Ace Slaughter, Stephen. I remember it all. I also remember our war over the hardcore title. Unfortunately you don’t look like you have “aged” well in a manner of speaking. You’ve literally become nothing more than a gimmick. I’ve seen shades of the old Oblivion from the commentary table over in UCI, but here in WCF, you’re just going to be nothing more than your gimmick and that makes me sad!

Let’s knock out a couple of people before we get back to the more semi-serious competitors. Petrov and Adam Young. Petrov says in Soviet Russia War win you. Well Gravedigger say in America, Petrov can go fuck himself. I think I need to find Bionic Betty and let her fuck you up again. I’m still not sure how you’re actually alive. Then again, I haven’t seen you on TV yet since you were announced as a participant of War. Maybe you’re a robot, too? Adam Young, I have respect for you, especially someone who can lose nearly every match of his career and keep coming back for more. Actually, I meant that in a condescending way, but seeing as how you’re man enough to keep coming back despite all the losses unlike that stupid redneck piece of shit, Jason Cash, you’re alright in my book. I still remember that time a few years ago when I helped you eliminate Corey Black. He’s still pissed at me about that probably, but it was so worth it.

Now let’s talk about Andre Holmes. Hey, Andre, how you doing? I’ve heard talk about how you’re a dark horse candidate for this match, but I gotta wonder how people can come to that conclusion? I mean you couldn’t beat Zero Tolerance in Trios and fell to my team. You barely walked out of Ultimate Showdown with a belt and here you are one week since tying Ethan King. Is THAT why people think you’re a dark horse candidate for winning War?

I’ve never understood the appeal behind you, Andre. Why exactly did Pantheon originally recruit you? What is so appealing about the Andre Holmes shtick? Were you only recruited because of the color of your skin? I mean honestly what do you bring to the table? You have no real ambition for holding the world title. Why is that though? Is it because you realize, like I do, that you don’t possess the qualities of holding the world title? Do you not have what it takes to be world champion?

It’s not like you have experience in the War match. I watched the old War pay-per-views and you’re not present in any of them and I don’t think most people realize this. They talk and act like you’re some kind of grizzled veteran, but in reality, you’re still a green rookie, Andre. You’ll protest a comment like that, pointing at your success in UCI where you’ve likely spent more time than both of your tenures here in WCF combined, but you’re a first time War entrant like half the people on the participants list.

You need to realize what you’re walking into, Andre. While most people are ignorant about your experience in the match, others just won’t tell you what it’s like in the hopes that you won’t be a threat to their chances of winning. Not me, Andre. I’m your friend. I’m your buddy. I’m your pal. See, ol’ Gravedigger is going to take you under his wing and show you the ropes in the War match, right before I bounce you off of them and nearly seperate your head from your body with a hell of a Grave Marker.



See, like the rest of the list of participants, you’re walking into the lion’s den and I am the biggest and baddest lion in the den. Odin Balfore will tell you different. Fat fucks like Very Big Security would also object to that, but they’re all blowing hot air, gassed before they take more than 5-10 steps towards the ring, and their words mean nothing. What means something is MY words and my words are that you’d do best to just walk out of the match when you see me enter it or just not show up altogether. Do you really want to risk life and limb...your very career all for the sake of having that break out moment? That would be unwise, Andre. I may be dogging you pretty hard here, but I will admit that you are talented. It’s just that, trying to win War when that’s what I want to do wouldn’t make you look so smart.

Shadowlove and Dag Riddick. I figured I would lump the two of you together. Like many of the people in this War match, you two are here just for appearance's sake it seems. You’re here to get your name in on WCF’s largest annual event. You want to attach your star to it in the hopes of improving your resumes in the wrestling world. Well, I have good news for you, you’re going to do just that. You’re each going to be a first hand witness to my rise back to the top of WCF, starting with a War win in 2017. You’re going to watch as I eliminate wrestler after wrestler, maybe even one or both of you, until I am the only one left standing in the ring. You’re going to listen as the commentators talk about how I’m going to the One main event where I will reclaim the world title once more. How awesome is it going to be for the two of you to witness this. Shadowlove, I know you’re the current television champion in UCI, but that place is not this. This is WCF and I know you’ve also been here before as well, but this is just something you’re not prepared for. War can be devastating, both in real life as well as in WCF. Neither one of you have been in War before so you’re about to get a horrible wake-up call, especially if you see me in the ring. If you do: run.

So, with all that said, there are still two possible entrants in the War match. John Rabid and Stephen Singh may have been taken off the list, but let's not put it past Seth to let them be surprise opponents. Rumors are swirling this way and that regarding the chances of at least two of them being in the match, so I figure it’s best to cover my bases with some of the bigger talent in WCF by mentioning them at least.

First, let’s talk about John Rabid. John, I’m just going to come at you right out of the gate and state that you’re the next David Sanchez. Despite being here consistently longer than him, you’re quickly becoming the next choke artist of the WCF. It’s going to be glorious watching you get beat at War. Actually, you’ll probably be lucky and as I mentioned regarding Teo del Sol, you’ll end up watching as Singh pins Teo instead. Then hey, you can claim you weren’t pinned and weasel your way into the One main event. I mean we know if you end up in the War match after a grueling World title match that you won’t win that match either. You’ll be the gazelle to the hyenas that are the field of War participants currently in the match when you walk out from the back. We will eat you alive!

People talk and act like the world title is rightfully yours, but you can’t quite seem to get it. Yeah, I didn’t win Trios or Ultimate Showdown either and I haven’t won the World title a single attempt this year either, but I’ve been around the block before. You’re still trying to figure out how to complete the walk around the block and I don’t think you will. There’s all these people talking on the Internet as if you’re next in line for the belt, but I have to ask why? Because you are determined to finally win it? I looked up some stats the other day and apparently less than 4% of the entire list of wrestlers who have ever graced a WCF ring have won the world title. I’d be willing to bet about 80-90% of those remaining wrestlers are or were also determined to win the belt. So what makes you special? You really take care of your appearance and you hold a glorified newbie belt.

You know, it brings me back to some comments Joey Flash made about Mikey eXtreme last year. I don’t know where he got it from or if he made it up but he made mention about Mikey being one of the greatest US champions who ever lived. For you, it’s the TV championship. You are the greatest TV champion who ever lived. John Gable held the previous record and for him it’s just that he was a glorified mid-carder and would never be nothing more, but as I pointed out, you have held that belt for forever. Why? You should have given that belt up after a few months and moved up the card. You should have gone for the world title earlier, but no you clutched onto that belt as if it was a life raft. It’s obvious that with how rare you win titles around here that you would be risking not wearing gold again for a long time.

I’m sure after you lose at War in both the world title match and maybe even the War match itself if you are in it, we’ll be looking back at One where you’ll STILL be the TV champion. You may one day become known as the eternal TV champion. Most wrestlers who have held the TV title either lose the belt at some point or they drop it on purpose so they can move up the card. Hell even Grime did that...

So finally, this leaves me with the world champion, Stephen Singh. Congratulations, Stephen, on winning the world title at Ultimate Showdown. I can be the bigger man unlike some people and congratulate you on it. Ultimate Showdown was a fierce battle for pretty much everyone in the match and you’re the one that emerged the winner. Will you hold the belt long-term? Will you hold it past War and all the way to One? Will we see your world title reign still going in the next calendar year? I doubt that, I don’t expect you to make it past One with that belt, especially after I win War.

People talk about how Rabid is a shoe-in for the world title at War since he’s so determined to finally win the title, but just like him, I feel you’re nothing more than a pure glory hound who just wants that resume of accomplishments so he can finally compare his career to that of people like Joey Flash...oof probably a sore spot. Or even compare it to careers such as mine. I know guys like you two love to talk about how I’ve apparently lost a step in my years as a wrestler, but the thing is, neither of you have the heart, the TRUE determination, or the grit to obtain the list of accomplishments that guys like me have.

I already know what will happen with both of you, assuming you both are able to ever hold the world title. You’ll hold it and eventually lose it and you’ll talk about how you need a break so you’ll scurry back into the dark and leave WCF for a while. You’ll reappear six months to a year later expecting to be lauded for being former world champions, but no one will care anymore. You’ll be miffed at having to regain your spot at the top once more, but then you’ll realize how hard it was to get there in the first place, especially for a soon-to-be labeled choke artist such as John Rabid, and you’ll rethink your efforts. I mean hell, people expected John Rabid to relinquish his television title after Ultimate Showdown and just give up, hanging up the boots and never returning.

When he ended up challenging SJW to that match for a shot at the world title, many people were surprised. You, though, I can see it in your eyes when you’re out in the ring that your days as a full-time wrestler are numbered. Both you and Rabid are clearly the types of wrestlers who will take years if ever to try and regain the world title. Classic Jeff Purse will become Classic John Rabid and Classic Stephen Singh.

Now, with a match like War, there's always a surprise return. One that shocks everyone and eliminates some unprepared people. There's one guy I've heard rumors about for months, a guy that could return at any moment to WCF...Logan. Logan, if you're watching this and you're thinking about returning at War in the actual War match, I'm going to tell you right now that it will not be at my expense. We've been enemies and we've been friends...well allies...well, tolerant of each other. Now, I know when most people see Logan, they'll be shocked just because he's a legend and Hall of Famer here in WCF, but then most of you dumb dumbs will then go into your usual "oh he's an old guy pfft" schtick that you do, but I will warn you now that a man who can win War on three seperate occasions throughout multiple eras in WCF history is not a man to be taken lightly. I'm not afraid of the guy though, I have beaten him before. Hell, the year I won War, the guy ducked the event because he was afraid of me after having his ass kicked by me in NCW. If you show up this year, you won't be ducking me unless you enter and get eliminated before I even walk out from the back. If you last long enough, you'll go face-to-face with me in the ring and I'll destroy you. Like I've been saying to these other returning stars, this isn't a nostalgia trip for me. It's not another notch in my belt, it is all about getting THE belt. I won't have another returning legend show me up in my path to One.

So, let’s wrap this up with a final push towards the end of this path towards War. I mentioned when talking about John Rabid and Stephen Singh being the type of guys who will get that first world title reign and then scurry off and that summarizes pretty much the entire list of participants in this match minus myself. I won’t sit here and list out all the names, but you all know who you are. Many of you rookies want to have that breakout moment in War. You look at elimination records by people like Gemini, Jared, and Odin and you want that. Or you just want that breakout moment where you make yourself a star. Many of you want to win War just to say you did. You see the list of Hall of Famers and how many of the top guys in the Hall are War winners. You want that world title shot at One so you can finally add the world title to your list of accomplishments.

“Look at me ma! I’m a world champion!” You know what? Your mom doesn’t fucking care. I said I wasn’t here for that breakout moment or that accomplishment. Finally getting that One main event added to my resume or winning the world title a fourth time. See, that’s not what it’s about for me. It’s not about those accomplishments. It’s about what they mean. It means I’m the best. Half these guys who have been here for 2 years or more that have never held the world title have spent their entire times fucking off instead of going for the big gold belt. The moment I walked in WCF’s doors, I immediately had my eyes on the world title. Sure, I was a tag team wrestler back then and had only been a wrestler for one year, but I didn’t sit on my ass and wait for Seth to book me in a world title match. 15 matches in and I was already a multi-time world champion.

I’ve had multiple world title shots this year and chances for others and despite not winning any of them, I have still made absolutely sure I was still in line for them. I didn’t sit in the back and hope that Seth would put me in line for a shot. I made that shot happen, because I’M what a real world champion looks like. I’M what the best in this business looks like. Not the Stephen Singhs, the John Rabids, the Ethan Kings, or the Jayson Prices of the business. ME.

I look at the entire participants’ list for War and all I see are The Walking Dead. Every one of you are like zombies and I’m Daryl Dixon. You’re all dead and you just haven’t figured it out. But don’t worry, I’ll help you out.

Come to War. Get Buried.

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The scene opens up in the studio with Corey Black and his wife Taylor Swift Black. Corey’s black mane has a good bit of gray in it which can be expected once a person reaches middle age. The following words appear on the bottom left of the screen despite everyone knowing who he is.

Corey Black (with wife Taylor Swift Black)
Longtime adversary/ally/friend of Gravedigger
July 2nd, 2035

Corey Black: So thanks for inviting us to be on this documentary. Despite our vicious street fight at XIII that one year, I would have to say that me and Gravedigger had a mutual respect for each other. Some would call it a friendship, but I’d call it a slight friendship. I mean, we only had a few encounters in the 15 years that we were around each other. There was that one year I left WCF and the two of us went to a brand new company together called Vanguard Wrestling Federation. Good times.

It was kinda surprising that we didn’t face off that many times, but unlike Gravedigger and Logan, we didn’t really have any issues with each other. Like I said, we had that mutual respect for each other. Even when I joined Pantheon, who Gravedigger absolutely hated, he still wasn’t pissed at me. Actually, I take that back, he probably was pissed at me, but he didn’t ever come after me about that too much. War XVI?

Corey’s eyes go big and he blows out air.

Corey Black: Hoo boy, that one was insane! That was 2017? Yeah, that was the year that I fought Jonny Fly. Hellacious match. One of my most difficult matches I’ve ever had. I was still recuperating backstage and they had a TV nearby. So I was just chilling backstage with Taylor and we were watching it on one of the monitors.

I saw Gravedigger in passing a couple of times backstage, we were never close enough to each other in proximity, so it was usually just catching a glance and nodding at each other in respect. As a fellow Hall of Famer and knowing him as long as I have, I have to say it was pretty nice to see the reaction he got for his final War match entrance. Odin Balfore’s entrance reaction was pretty legit, too, but Digger’s was up there. Wouldn’t you say?

Corey Black glances at Taylor who nods.

Taylor Swift Black: Yeah, Gravedigger’s was one of the bigger reactions. Both of them though, we could barely hear the TV over the crowd’s reaction! I know I shouldn’t badmouth him right now, but I still hate the guy for that shit he pulled earlier that same year, trying to use that look alike to say it was me sleeping with him.

Corey Black laughs as Taylor points her finger down her throat.

Corey Black: Yeah you got him back good though with that song you wrote a year later, making fun of him. He was pretty hot about that for a long time.

Taylor shrugs and grins.

Corey Black: Yeah, we had to get Odin to show up and convene Wrestler’s Court and punished Gravedigger for a while. But yeah back to War XVI, I’m always glad that I don’t always have to be involved in that crazy mess of a match. Fuck that, I don’t want to be out there in that tangled mess and get injured or worse, have my career ended.

Especially at that point, when I was just a few months from retiring after my match at One. Speaking of One, Torture told me to talk about Gravedigger’s main event match at One.

Corey stops talking, looking off to the side, as someone says something to him off camera.

Corey Black: Haha I’m kidding! Torture told me how you guys had a huge argument over it. I’m not going to spoil anything past War, not even the results of our XIII match. But Digger’s victory at War. It was great to watch. As a fellow veteran, it was great to watch him out there taking it to the newer guys. Gravedigger was always great about boosting the younger talent, even when Seth would tell him not to, but not that night. That night, Gravedigger didn’t give a shit and he wanted to go out on top one last time.

He was out there in the match for a while and he was taking out people that no one prior to watching all that would have thought possible. He wasn’t touching Odin Balfore’s elimination record, but he wasn’t just going to sit back and waste this final chance of his. Watching that final Death Driver of the match looked brutal and he earned that victory.

I’m glad he went out on top like that in his final War match. It was great to see that happen to a fellow Hall of Famer and someone I’d known for so long. I hated to hear what happened a few years ago though. I guess since you guys told me that this has a Metallica theme to it, that I’ll say that at some point, the Bell Tolls for Everyone, just like it eventually did for Gravedigger.

Corey Black turns to Taylor who smiles and they both look at the camera as the scene fades out.

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The scene opens up to a montage of videos of Gravedigger wrestling and then ends with some of his moments from War XVI. The scene then fades into a graveyard during the dusk hours of the day. The camera slowly moves to the graveyard until it reaches one with a couple of lanterns nearby, lighting it up fully. The tombstone reads:

John “Gravedigger” Burroughs

June 4th, 1975 - August 10th, 2032

Beloved Husband, Father, Son, Brother, and Friend

The scene finally fades to black.