The Comprehensive Guide: Chapter I - Setting The Stage.

["Iron Heart" Ethan King]

Overwhelming Odds.

Wounded, but nowhere near broken. Spirit still alit with undying embers, he makes his way out of the Korakuen Hall, fully suited and appearing pristine and unscathed, hiding away the fact he had just been through a gruelling Hardcore Title match with one of the best in the business, Andre Holmes.

He walked out of the arena with a draw, and with his title still gleaming over his right shoulder. For most men, this result would be satisfactory, they would be happy that they still had the privilege of carrying a championship with them wherever they went.

But for Ethan? This was a disgrace. It was pathetic. He had not played his cards correctly, and attempted a high-risk move in a situation where a regular, more simple and efficient approach would have netted him a mark in the win column. If he had taken even one more risk, he may have been leaving WITHOUT his title.

His fists clenched in anger towards himself, he grimaces, with the full realization dawning on him that, if he happened to make a similar mistake in WAR, he would miss out on quite possibly his one major chance of earning the World Championship that still ran through his mind.

He would have to be better. Andre Holmes was a worthy challenger, but he was not someone that Ethan would allow to stop him on his road to the top. He would train more, he would enter WAR more focused than he was in his first title defense against FPV, and he would walk out the victor.

Just like had had survived against Holmes, he would survive WAR. Not only would he survive, but he would thrive. And he would do exactly the same when he stepped into the main-event of ONE, whether it happened to be against Singh, Rabid, or whoever else was thrown his way.

He would defeat them all, it was the only path he could take, it was one he could not avoid.

And it was one he was ready and willing to sacrifice for.

His phone’s ringtone breaks his train of thought, causing him to snap out of the images of glory that he had just previously been seeing himself in. Gone was the prospect of the World Championship, as instead he was left clutching for his mobile, sliding his finger across the screen and bringing it up to his ear.

‘What do you want?’

‘No need to be hostile, Ethan. I just want to let you in on something.’

Seth Lerch’s smug tone left Ethan with a frown on his lips. If he were to be honest, he had an extreme apathy for the man. This was the same man that let countless others have opportunities before him, the same man that had overlooked him and had left him scrapping for tag team titles, when he should have been competing for The World.

But yet, he owed some gratitude towards this man, for giving him the motivation and willpower to earn every single damn thing that he wanted. Every victory, every accolade, every title, it didn’t come easy. It never came easy. He pushed himself to his limits each and every fucking week, all in preparation for this ONE moment.

The WAR match.

So, it was only right that Ethan ignored the tenseness that ran through his being the moment he heard Seth’s nasally voice. Because one day… someday soon… this would be the man he smirked at, whilst carrying the World Championship over his shoulder.

‘What is it, then?’

‘You failed your challenge, Ethan. You didn’t win your second match.’

‘Your point?’

‘I could let you off and give you the last entry spot, considering you didn’t outright lose the match either. But you know what, Ethan? All your talk about earning everything, and all your talk about being overlooked? Well, I think it’s about time you put your money where your mouth is.’

‘What are you saying?’

‘You’re entering first. Good luck.’

Seth hangs up, leaving Ethan standing outside the Korakuen Hall once more, where he becomes lost in both thought and the moment once more.

Most men in this situation would have grown incensed by this injustice, as they stood and envisioned the massive waves of obstacles and challenges that lay before them on their now ‘blocked off’ path to greatness.

But Ethan? He couldn’t do anything expect laugh, and accept his fate. Whether he entered first or last, it made no difference to him, this was what he had wanted ever since his return. This had been the only thing on his mind.

Whether it were only five men that stood before him, or all of the forty plus men who had been slated to enter the match that he would soon put himself through – a match that threatened to take years off of his career, should he extend himself too far – he would do it, no matter the cost, no matter what it meant for his well being.

Because there was nothing more that he could possibly ever want.

What kind of man would he be if he didn’t overcome the odds?

Last year, he had allowed himself to be drowned out by the overflowing waves of the #BeachKrew, the same people who had captured him and broken his mind, body, and soul. He had repaired them himself, all on his own. No Everest, no anybody.

This was his time.

And only he could make it so.

---

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, feast your eyes upon this marvelous creation that has been brought to you by your reigning, defending, Hardcore Champion, Ethan King! In proud association with Everest Productions, I, the soon to be victor of WAR XVI, present you with…

Ethan King’s Comprehensive Guide To WAR.

With this definitive guide, you will need to look nowhere else to discover all the information you need to know about the biggest match of the wrestling year. By reading this guide, you ensure that you have the greatest understanding of this upcoming WAR match, and will be given insider information that only the best in the business currently know. Expect to find the following things to be covered in this guide:

Match Rules: Because 95% of the WCF roster is filled with imbeciles, retards, and invalids that need to be reminded about what the WAR match actually is. Don’t worry, most of these people won’t be lasting longer than five minutes anyway, so this section will be brief and to the point, unlike the drawn out promos that we can expect from... certain people. For the love of god Jay Omega, please don’t go on a rant for three hours about how you’re going to win this match, you’ll probably make it to the final ten and then choke away any chance of being relevant again, so please just do us all a favour. Hey, this could probably apply to David Sanchez too, so there’s that!

Winning WAR: Here, I will detail everything you need to know about the key characteristics and traits that a competitor will need if they want any chance of winning the match. As you can expect, once again, there are only a handful of people who possess even half of these qualities, but don’t worry, I won’t be discriminating… at least not yet.

The Competitors: In true WAR form, I will be providing insight on many of the competitors in this match. Some of these people will be given more attention than others, as they will prove to be bigger threats in the match. Thus, I have listed people into the following categories, to make our lives easier and ignore all the fucking non-factors that are going to be anchoring the ratings of this match down. Anyway, the categories are as follows:

Fodder.

Returnees.

Middle of the Pack.

Legends.

The Main Players.

The World Title Match Competitors (Stephen Singh, John Rabid, Teo Del Sol).

All of these groups will be getting official descriptions later on in this guide, so please bear with me before I murder all of these fools into non-existence. Be sure to remember that, while these categories are all very interchangeable (for example, Kevin Bishop is a returnee, but he also fits into the mediocrity of the ‘Middle of the Pack’ category!), I will be listing competitors into the one that best describes them. 

With that out of the way, let’s bring forth the next sections…

Predictions: In some instances, your Hardcore Champion himself will be giving insight into where some of these athletes may fall during the match. If you are not aware yet, I will be entering first in the match, so expect many of my predictions to end with (eliminated by Ethan King), as this will be the most likely result for all the poor saps who have to be stomped on my way to the main-event of ONE.

And the final section that will be disclosed in the last chapter of this guide…

The Future Winner: A special segment where I will be giving my final thoughts on the match, and give you all one last glimpse at greatness before I carve my way past every other man in this match to solidify my place as one of the greatest athletes to ever set foot in a WCF Ring. Remember, as this is a written guide, this exclusive interview can only be viewed on the WCF Network! 

Now, without further ado, the moment you have all been waiting for. We will be starting with the first chapter of the guide.

Chapter I: Setting The Stage.

‘Setting The Stage’ will provide you all with a basic description of the WAR match, it will also note down some of the much needed qualities that an athlete will require if they want to pose any threat in this all-in-brawl style of match. Finally, you will be getting your first taste of the brutal Ethan King shoot upon some helpless victims who have been categorized into the ‘Fodder’ section of the competitors. 

THE WAR MATCH

WAR has been a staple of WCF since its inception. Although it is a match that has a similar iteration in the sense of WWE’s (a lesser known wrestling promotion) Royal Rumble match, the rules are different and are clearly more entertaining. Two men will start the match, and every two minutes, a new entrant will arrive. The first man to be entering this match will be none other than myself, and this assures that all of you will be experiencing arguably the greatest performance in WCF history, as I will do something that has been unprecedented, by being the first man to enter and win WAR.

Ignoring that for the moment though, let’s continue with the rules. There is no limit to the amount of men that can be in the ring at once, and the only way to be eliminated is via pinfall or submission. This means that people who are relatively inept (Mikey eXtreme, for instance) will struggle heavily to produce any type of results in this match, as they cannot take the cheap route that is demonstrated in the Royal Rumble, by simply dumping an opponent over the top rope. This indicates no showing of skill whatsoever, thus WAR ensures that only the strong survive, or that only the crafty cowards (i.e Stephen Singh’s WAR performance last year) thrive in this competitive environment.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s move on to…

WAR Qualities 

To win in a match like this, you need to demonstrate high levels of abilities that not many other men can bring out of themselves, even with extreme levels of training or concentration. Some areas of this criteria come natural to some, but it is also true that other areas do require some level of professional training and experience. 

Here is the selection of skills and characteristics the men in this match will need to have if they want to come runner-up in this match. Keep in mind that due to my official entry into this match, this is the highest possible place another athlete can come before falling victim to my overwhelming levels of talent.

In-Ring Ability: Common sense to start us off here. If you want to win WAR, you have to be a good fucking wrestler at the very least. If you don’t have any skill in this department, then you have no chance of outlasting men who ARE skilled and have the ability to knock your head clean off your shoulders.

Mentality: You need to have a certain mindset to win WAR, and it needs to be one that is equal parts determined, calm, and smart. Go into this match too hot-headed, and your aggressiveness will eventually lead to your demise. Look at all the previous winners, and you will realize that there is a common theme with them all – they were all mentally prepared to win this match, and they all had the confidence to go out there and do it.

Survivability: WAR is a match that lasts hours long, and is quite possibly the most grueling match that one can go through, depending on their entry position. Weapons are all legal, and many hard-hitting, high-impact moves will be utilized to put other competitors away. Thus, one must be able to take damage and dish it back twice as much, while also understanding that they need to conserve their energy and strength if they want to out-last the rest. 

Craftiness: Linking to both survivability and mentality, a participant in the WAR match has to look outside the box and realize that they cannot go in with an approach that is too straight-forward. Even a man like Odin Balfore, who is virtually seen as an indomitable force in between the ropes of a wrestling ring, cannot win a match where the odds are stacked against him in terms of sheer numbers. There is a reason that even men with the highest amounts of physical prowess don’t achieve ultimate success in matches like these, and Odin is an example. 

Winning WAR requires a crafty mindset, you need to be prepared to pick your spots and be opportunistic. Look at the performances of Joey Flash and Stephen Singh last year, one of them won the entire match, and the other man picked up many eliminations. Neither of these men were constantly involved in conflicts that could have ended with their surprise eliminations, as they did their best to be as conservative as possible with their energy. This is one of the many qualities required if you want to survive.

Momentum: This is arguably not as important as the rest, but it still plays an important role in setting the tone for a person’s performance in the WAR match. Those who haven’t wrestled or have been inactive in terms of WCF competition, won’t exactly have a great feel for the new talent that walks into the match, nor will they know what to expect. Athletes who are performing actively in competitive matches (see: Ethan King, Andre Holmes, Sidney J Warwick) are in prime position to use their gained momentum in order to achieve big things in a landscape such as the WAR match. On the other hand, people who are totally inconsistent in their showings (Frank Patrick Venable) or simply haven’t wrestled for a while (Steve Orbit, Odin Balfore, Jay Omega), are likely to experience some struggles when faced with competition that have been on ‘hot streaks’ as of late.

Clutch Factor: Arguably the most important trait of all. You can be the best in-ring performer, you can have a hardened body and mind, you can be smarter than the rest of the field, but if you start to choke in the final moments, and start to forget everything that brought you into the position where you could possibly be competing in the main-event of ONE? Then none of it is going to matter, you’re going to get quickly taken down without a second thought.

Being clutch means being able to step up in the biggest moments of the match and not lose your cool. If you want the opposites of clutch, look towards men like David Sanchez, Kyle Kemp, Teo Del Sol, Kevin Bishop, and others. They are what you call ‘choke artists’, people who constantly throw away any opportunities they have for success due to their innate ability to become a blubbering mess of failure the moment they are presented with something more than a mid-tier opportunity. 

Think Kemp in the Trilogy Cup Final and Omega Championship match, Teo in any match where he is competing for a title, David in any match where the World Title is involved, and Bishop in any match that has involved main-event talent… ever.

Congratulations, you have made it through the rather mundane section of the ‘what it takes to win WAR, section’. Admittedly, this is rather bland, but it is a much needed addition as most of the WCF roster are rather unaware of what it takes to win a match that isn’t a one-on-one match against a bottom of the barrel competitor. Thus, I thought I’d provide them all with some champion’s insight on how they should go about performing in this match. Unfortunately, no matter what adjustments they make, it is all too little too late, as the writing is already on the wall and the result has been etched in stone. But hey! It never hurts to try, am I right?

As promised, I will now be tearing down the fragile mental states of some of the least revered and feared competitors in this match. The first category that we will be going through is…

Fodder

‘Fodder’ can be described as the lowest of the low. These are the people who literally have zero-chance of walking away with any shred of dignity or future hope for their pathetic careers by the end of the WAR match. There is no result that involves one of these men walking out with the victory, no matter how many alternative universes there are. Some of the qualities that many of these so-called ‘athletes’ will share are:

-Enhancement talent for mid-card and upper-card wrestlers.

-Most have never won a title in the WCF.

-Some have never even won a match in the WCF.

-None have had a ‘big-time’ storyline where their characters or wrestling ability has grown.

-Are pretty much just complete and utter shit, should probably just quit now.

-Some are gag characters, who are only here for comedic value.

-Some are not gag characters, but still end up being here for comedic effect, simply because there’s so fucking trash.

With that out of the way, let’s begin our analysis.

AGIMAT

In-Ring Ability: C.

Mentality: Pussy.

Survivability: Low, will probably be eliminated in 13 seconds.

Craftiness: Not shown, good at tapping out to save himself injury.

Momentum: Going nowhere, fast.

Clutch Factor: Not shown, probably doesn’t exist.

Sorry bud, but you’re probably going to be one of the first entrants and honestly? One of the first men I will eliminate. You somehow allowed yourself and another guy to be put into a submission by ONE GUY, and both of you started tapping out almost immediately. You have no guts, heart or determination, and while your profile seems to indicate you have some move variety, you’re pretty much a cardboard cut-out who will serve as a nice punching bag. Excellent stuff!

RED DRAGON

In-Ring Ability: B

Mentality: Vapid. I’m getting flashbacks to Psycho Dragon. You’re not the same guy, are you?

Survivability: Frail, not intelligent, will probably throw himself into battle.

Craftiness: Might sneak in a surprise submission elimination, if lucky.

Momentum: One victory against the aforementioned Agimat. Need I say more?

Clutch Factor: Clutch enough to realize in 2014 that you had no chance of success in the WCF.

You were here in 2014, you dropped out, and now you’re back three years later. You have done literally nothing of note in those three years except appeared out of thin air and beat two scrubs who will amount to nothing in the WCF. If you’re exceptionally lucky, you may last more than a minute in the ring with me. 

Please borrow a time machine and go back to an era where your character may have been interesting, you are nothing but a free elimination.

LEON HAYZE

In-Ring Ability: D+

Mentality: Pot Head, calm, but distracted.

Survivability: Fragile knee, will be exposed in seconds.

Craftiness: Small amounts of creativity due to stereotyped personality.

Momentum: Coming back off severe injury, no momentum.

Clutch Factor: Experienced, but will not last long enough for this to come into effect.

Leon, I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. Age 40, and you’re stepping back into the ring after a harsh knee injury that has kept you sidelined for an extended period of time. You have supposedly been preparing for your return, but your smoking habits will no doubt inhibit your cardio and leave you gasping and wheezing while I am still running rings around all the competition.

If you step into the ring with me, I will break your fucking knee and ensure you don’t stain the wrestling industry with your presence again.

BRYAN DEVLIN

In-Ring Ability: Has 8 known moves. D-

Mentality: Supreme sense of entitlement, will be shocked when he is rocked by a right hand.

Survivability: Five foot five, 145 pounds. Has the frame of a pre-pubescent boy, no survivability.

Craftiness: Small, probably your typical chicken-shit heel, will maybe score a roll up elimination.

Momentum: Zero, and WAR won’t prove to help him in this regard.

Clutch Factor: Do we even need to talk about this?

Your profile says it all. You’re a tiny wrestler with almost no move variety, you pose literally no threat in this match whatsoever. One move and you will be broken into two. Your mindset going into this match will be “I deserve a win here!”, your mentality upon leaving this match will be “why did I even show up?”

GREG ST. MATTHEWS

In-Ring Ability: Typical Striker. No real technical ability. D.

Mentality: Spends more time on twitter rather than training. At twenty years old, admitted he had “no drive to do anything”.

Survivability: Another fucking twig. Will be snapped effortlessly.

Craftiness: Bland, boring, unimaginative. Will not bring any surprises here.

Momentum: On and off wrestler, little expectations, often takes breaks. Zero momentum.

Clutch Factor: See above.

‘Indifferent’ would be the best word to describe you, Greg, and all the reactions that are given to you. Your personality is indifferent, my reaction to your entry in this match is indifferent, and everyone will be indifferent towards you no matter how badly you do in this match, because we simply don’t care.

Keep tweeting though, I hear that’s a good way to get relevancy. I did that for… what? The first month of my career? And look where I am now. A four-time champion, and soon to be WAR Winner. Maybe you can get to my status one day, kid.

Probably not.

HANK HERRON

In-Ring Ability: B

Mentality: Insane.

Survivability: Likely to let loose and go ‘beserk’, will lead to his elimination.

Craftiness: None whatsoever, see above.

Momentum: New roster member, little wrestling experience.

Clutch Factor: Psychotic, will remain erratic in action no matter what time he enters the match.

Out of all the fodder in this match, you possibly interest me the most. You have a decent frame, and judging by your profile, you perhaps actually know a thing or two about wrestling – which can’t be said for a lot of the other people in this category. However, your psychological disorder and your tendency to be unable to control yourself will lead to your demise, you will run headlong into a battle that you can’t win, and you will fall.

Harness the potential you have though? And you may go somewhere, perhaps an Alpha Championship run? For now though, you’re still just fodder. Prepare to die.

BOMBER

In-Ring Ability: C.

Mentality: Unknown.

Survivability: Large, may be durable.

Craftiness: Non-existent.

Momentum: See above.

Clutch Factor: Former champion in other unknown federations, may have experience?

You’re big, you can apparently wrestle in many different styles, and you apparently have no personality at all. Your ring name doesn’t help with this at all, and it makes me think that you’re going to be the type of guy to drop an Adam Young esque promo except with none of the minor entertainment value that he offers.

All of your moves are slow and are for the most part basic, making them easily countered. Your size will be meaningless once you’re cut down to size, and after that? You’re just another person waiting to be eliminated at the hands of The Future King. 

MATTHEW DRAKE

In-Ring Ability: C-

Mentality: Generic, ‘wants to be the best’, no layers or real motivation to win WAR.

Survivability: Decent frame, too overzealous, will find himself cornered and eliminated quickly.

Craftiness: An opportunist, may take advantage of specific scenarios where his lack of in-ring ability is hidden by the fact his opponent is hindered by something. Will use weapons with no hesitation.

Momentum: Has this guy even won a match?

Clutch Factor: See above.

You were my second Hardcore Title defense, and you proved to be as underwhelming as I said you were. I virtually cruised in that match and treated you as a non-factor, even with my damn title on the line. Even when I was distracted, you still failed to fully capitalize and I put you out of your misery without a second thought.

Your record is abysmal, your gimmick even more so, and your chances even worse than that. I wish you all the best in this match.

JOHNNY ALPHA

In-Ring Ability: D- 

Mentality: Claims he is the best. Does nothing to back it up. Superiority Complex?

Survivability: No heart or resiliency, definition of ‘self-entitled loser’.

Craftiness: Does he even know what this word means?

Momentum: I seriously don’t think this guy has won a match either.

Clutch Factor: I’m not even going to say anything here.

Oh hey, look. Another guy on the long list of men that I have beaten with no problem at all. Your best feats throughout our entire match was that you kicked out a couple of times. You have no move variety, you’re predictable, and you’re the ‘typical heel’ type who has no real want or desire to make it big in this federation. You don’t deserve to be here.

VERY BIG SECURITY

In-Ring Ability: Fat.

Mentality: Believe they’re pure muscle. Are actually fat.

Survivability: Fat. Actually, this is a good thing.

Craftiness: Fat. Their bodies somehow move slower than their thought processes.

Momentum: Fat, can’t pick up any momentum (literally).

Clutch Factor: Won the Internet Title… twice. Does this count as clutch?

You’re both pathetic. You’re lackeys for the World Champion, which is arguably the very biggest thing either of you have done in your careers. This in itself shows just how incredibly shit the both of you are. One of you is terrible enough, but both of you? Ugh, it’s fucking disgusting.

Be grateful David decided to drop that Internet Title to you, hopefully it’s the last belt you’ll get your grubby hands on again. Please don’t eat it.

BISHOP

In-Ring Ability: D. No technical skill, simply powerful.

Mentality: Veteran’s mentality. Doesn’t care about result.

Survivability: Large, can take a hit. Still doesn’t help him pick up wins.

Craftiness: Veteran, may have some old school tricks. Otherwise? None.

Momentum: Just lost a title match on a huge show, no momentum.

Clutch Factor: When’s the last time this guy won a title?

Like the Very Big Security, your only point of relevance anymore is that you have some association with Gravedigger… which is great! If he wasn’t… you know… forced to carry you in tag matches and/or beat the absolute shit out of you in Hell in the Cell matches. But hey, maybe he’ll help you out during this match for a little bit, meaning you’ll last longer than some of the other entrants in this Fodder category.

Ah, who am I kidding, I won’t give you any false hope, pal. If you’re lucky, you may get the opportunity to squash someone, but in reality? It’s back to the locker room for you, friend. Better luck next time.

BIFF MUSTACHE

In-Ring Ability: C

Mentality: Probably wondering why he allowed himself such a stupid ring name.

Survivability: Let’s not get into this, we know what the result will be.

Craftiness: Ring name sounds like a con-artist name, maybe has some potential here?

Momentum: L-O-L.

Clutch Factor: See above.

This isn’t real, right?

I’m going to assume this isn’t real.

DED MEMRY

In-Ring Ability: Brawler. F.

Mentality: Doesn’t even know who he is. Will have identity crisis mid-match.

Survivability: “Ded” perfectly describes what this guy will be one minute into entering this match.

Craftiness: ‘Dead Memory’, that’s all I’m saying.

Momentum: His levels of momentum are similar to his ability to remember things.

Clutch Factor: Clutch at forgetting things.

ADAM YOUNG

In-Ring Ability: It’s Adam Young. Need we go over this?

Mentality: Pay Young Adam!

Survivability: One Sick Bastard.

Craftiness: One Not So Magnificent Bastard.

Momentum: Didn’t he die?

Clutch Factor: It’s Yung Adam, what do you expect?

I’m pretty sure everyone has beat this guy at one point or another, even people who haven’t gone up against him before. Is that even possible? I don’t know. After all, this guy managed to fucking die and be reincarnated. Yung Adam is here for his paycheque, and then he’s going to dip back into the obscurity he loves oh-so much.

Let the memes begin.

CALEB RONAN

In-Ring Ability: Nothing special. C.

Mentality: Prone to outbursts. Weak mentality. Will break down when faced with adversity.

Survivability: Fragile mind, equally fragile body.

Craftiness: Small in stature, may surprise lesser competition.

Momentum: None.

Clutch Factor: Probably good at meeting deadlines at the last second, other than that? No.

Who remembers when I was in The Pride, and I was just the happy-go-lucky guy that people were supposed to like and get behind because I had a dream, and was looking to follow it?

That’s basically this guy, except he’s a fucking spastic with far less talent and intrigue. This cunt was supposedly one of the names I was supposed to be considering to be on MY Trios team in 2016. As if I’d go for that weak shit.

Thank god you’re the last person I’m analyzing for this category. I can’t do this anymore.

With that said, we are done Setting The Stage. The curtain jerkers of this WAR match have been revealed, and now you all know everything you need to about the minute, nuanced details that will allow you (yes, even you!) to potentially achieve in the WAR match. Obviously, no-one possesses these abilities more than myself, which is why I will be clean sweeping this match and paving my way to the World Title, but if a few people follow this guide, they might pick up an elimination or two.

But that’s all for now! This guide will be going up in three parts, the next chapter will be going up soon enough. Stay tuned. Next up, we dig into the Returnees and Middle of the Pack wrestlers who will be most definitely end up suffering the same fate as the Fodder… only they’ll last a little longer.

Till next time!