Real Champions Strike Second too ( WAR rp 2)
Sept 19, 2017 22:35:54 GMT -5
Alex Richards, Kevin Bishop, and 1 more like this
Post by Odin Balfore on Sept 19, 2017 22:35:54 GMT -5
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Scene one: The James Cameron Experience
James Camerons summer home. Walrarapa, New Zealand. late August 2017
James Cameron is a funny man. He laughed rather gingerly with a glass of scotch in his hand. However, everything about him was pretentious. With a net worth of over a billion dollars, such things tend to happen. He has a sprawling estate but its still rather modest but you know if you peel away the wall paper and up root the carpet, the entire house will bleed gold bricks like the blood out of an elevator in some Colorado hotel. Camerons own brand of madness was the caretaker. He just sat there with his legs crossed on his sofa, laughing; swirling vintage scotch like it was a glass of chocolate milk. It amused him; the savage. The All Father stood a few feet in front of him.
James Cameron: You know why I called you here?
The All Father sighs.
The All Father: I will not play a cyborg me from the future sent back to the past to have sex with Miley Cyrus in what I assume is some weird half-baked gritty, porno-noir with serious and deep undertones. Mainly, among these is of how society views sex as some taboo subject even though we all do it, so you lace comedic plot threads to mask the pain and suffering of an entire generation indoctrinated from youth to reject the inner callings of their primal selves and the expression of such.
James Cameron takes an intriguing look at the All Father as he swirls his scotch and takes a sip. He squints his eyes and invasions a sexy porno-noir version of the terminator.
James Cameron: I like it. You would make a great T-6900.
The All Father groans.
The All Father: No.
James Cameron presses his gingers to his lips.
James Cameron: But what to call it.
The All Father: How about, ‘Shut The Fuck Up, James Cameron, before I punch your stupid face.’
James Cameron: Too long. But then again, it did work for that Birdman movie and it did wonders for Michael Keetons career.
The All Father: I think that is why you called me here.
James Cameron: No, no. You’re too tall to play Batman. Tom Cruise would throw a fit. Did you know that he always wanted to play batman but Michelle Pfeiffer is actually six foot fix so he wouldn’t take the role in Batman Returns.
The All Father seems really bored by this.
The All Father: That’s so interesting. Literally every Vox and buzzfeed article is about comic books now.
James Cameron: I know, that’s why we have to stay ahead of the game. I was thinking something more like a redemption story. A classic champion returns and makes good.
The All Father: I swear to God, James Cameron.
James Cameron reacts in a panicked tone.
James Cameron: Shh, SHH!!! Jam Willy will hear you.
The All Father: You called me here for a redemption story?
James Cameron: Yes, Yes, of course! I heard through the THICK-VINE -
A piece of the All Father dies inside for such egregious usage of the THICK vernacular but lets it go before that part of his life is over.
James Cameron: That you were looking to get back into wrestling. And I know that Wrestling is on the fringe now and not as popular with the MMA thing going on but I think we if we do this right, then we can make a serious impact at CANNS.
The All Father takes a seat.
The All Father: I’m listening.
James Cameron: Well, I figured that I would follow you around and document your life and your return to the ring. I know that you had a lot of success all over the world; even if I’m not too familiar with it. So we could start that as soon as you’re ready. It’ll just be you and me, James Cameron.
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Scene Two: Deep in the Heart of the Ocean of Texas
The Benjamin F. Conrad Compound. Texas. Early September
Benjamin F. Conrad, former manager and trainer to the All Father, actual father to Zombie McMorris. He has retired from pro wrestling and has taken up government espionage for the CIA, unofficially of course. Conrads estate was thirty miles in all directions. The government even gave him his own zip code. The estate has its own grocery, laundry mat, movie theatre and recreational facilities for the full time live in staff. Sometimes that staff balloons up to two hundred people. A lot of the land was over grown but that was just fine to the man that could be the 47th richest country in the world. Little known fact that twenty percent of the US defense budget goes right into Conrads pocket tax free. Conrad is tall, six foot eight. He’s mean and weighs three hundred pounds. Most importantly, he doesn’t like visitors. However, the All Father and James Cameron drop by unannounced. They appear at his door as the All Father rings the doorbell. Conrad answers.
Conrad: What the hell do you want, Balfore?
The All Father: Well, me and James Cameron were just in the neighborhood and decided to drop by.
Conrad: Who did you say?
James Cameron: Hi, I’m James Cameron.
* slow- glamor head shake complete with slow dramatic music * [ when you’re here – theres nothing I fear and I know that my heart will – go on. ]
Conrad pulls The All Father in the house, clenches his teeth and demands answers.
Conrad: What the hell are you doing; bringing James Cameron into my house. You know my secret love of Titanic.
The All Father: Your what?
Conrad realizes that The All Father has no idea what he’s talking about and back tracks.
Conrad: Nevermind that. Why are you here?
James Cameron steps through the door with a sheepish smile.
James Cameron: Hi, sir or ma’dam my name is James Cameron and by federal law I am required to tell you that -
The All Father cuts him off.
The All Father: We’re here for a documentary.
Conrad: A documentary about who, You? Why would anyone want to film you sitting around your castle eating chocolate cake and smoking the devils pesto? That whole THICKNESS thing was dumb. Anything my half retarded son is into his dumb.
The All Father: Your son is about to be world champion.
Conrad reacts with a dead pan and monotone expression.
Conrad: Oh gee, yah. Cant wait to see how he screws that one up.
James Cameron: We’re actually here to film Odin. He’s making a return to wrestling and I wanted to follow his journey. I think it can be really compelling stuff. I was hoping to interview you because you’ve trained him and knew him the longest. It’ll just be us and a hand held camera; maybe an hour tops.
Conrad swoons.
Conrad: Anything for you, James Cameron.
Conrad leads them to his living room where James Cameron gets set up. Conrad starts to unbutton his shirt but James Cameron takes notice.
James Cameron: What are you doing?
Conrad: I figured we’d do it here in my living room.
James Cameron: Yah, the interview. What are you doing taking off your shirt?
Conrad buttons it back up an and nervously laughs it off.
Conrad: nothing, I was just playing a joke. Try and break the iceberg, you know?
The All Father buries his face into his hand.
James Cameron: Just sit down. We’re rolling. All you guys gotta do is talk.
Conrad and the All Father get settled as Conrad clears his throat and starts.
Conrad: My name is Benjamin F. Conrad. I have Odin here for seventeen years. You could say that I discovered him. I trained him and with my help he’s become a thirteen time world champion all over the world. I have seen this man at his best and his worst and right now, I can tell you that this is his best. I have not seen him in any better shape nor with more determination. If he is as serious about his return to wrestling as he says, then the world is in for a lot of trouble.
The All Father: I have seen WCF throughout the years and for every one good talent, there’s twenty guys in the back that are absolute shit. Now, to me, all that anyone can say about their chances in this match is just wishing thinking – plain and simple. Everyone here has some grandiose opinion of themselves that they are the one to be the next big thing and even to the ones are *are,* know that you are not. I could come at all of you with the clichés of a long hard road and the fight to get back but let me tell you something – this comes easy to me. It comes easy because it has always been easy. If there is one thing that has stunted my career its that I went soft and allowed the world around me to change without my direct influence. I became complacent with my role in WCF as a backstage hand, helping people but that’s not what WCF needs and honestly- that’s not what I need either.
I have always been a fighter, a contender, a conqueror and a vanquisher. I can look back to when I started and its essentially the same landscape. There’s twenty dudes, maybe two have talent- the rest are trash and then there’s the All Father. I’m head and shoulders above the rest in talent and pure skill. The only difference between last year and this year is that I’m hungrier because last year was the trial run of IF I can and I realized that, that’s no longer even a question. I had top guys in the fed calling me an ‘A minus’ player for just doing the bare minimum of what’s required of me. Now let that sink in for a moment. I was and still am a top tier talent in WCF without trying, even you could say, going below trying and just coasting along in the few matches that I have had.
So, what happened last year, when that A minus player put some work in – I broke records but this year I’m breaking spines. I’m going to put the mass collective of WCF on the shelf and in wheelchairs. I’m going to choke slam the entire company so damn hard that they’ll be living out of an iron lung, sitting on twitter and trying to roast me with shitty dank memes because
1. Aint none of them got talent enough to go toe to toe with me in the ring, on the mic or even on the damn internet.
2. If they laugh, they’ll collapse the other lung and then they’ll be dead.
Truthfully, they should just do themselves and the world the favor. Go and get that shit over with right fucking now. I’m not here to talk big and scary and dabble in the hypothetical. There is nothing Hypothetical about Odin Balfore returning to WCF with a TB Twelve size chip on his shoulder – ready to throw bombs and strikes and fuck over everyone who dare thinks that they are going to derail the Noridic Tank. If you want to talk about those Top guys, those Everest guys with their heads so far up their ass, the name is actually an ironic twist of fate- I’m not impressed by ANY of them. Last year they were all mid card players and this year by default they got bumped up. Well, now they’re going to get bumped back down and I hope they really enjoy snacking on the Alpha and Omega Championships because when I get back to the Dub at WAR, the entire hierarchy of WCF will shift with the balance of power. This Power. The All Father.
Then you have guys like Luke Force who run a multi-billion dollar company. That’s cute. I own an island nation, a castle in Denmark – my best friend is a raccoon – oh, and I can suplex this planet into the fucking sun if he speaks out of line against me. He’s another midcard player getting to dabble in the waters of a world he clearly knows nothing about. He went on a little tangent about how fans love him and how hes getting his time with some shit tier championship. Well, when he meets the All Father in the middle of that ring, all the Japanese fans in the world will not save him from Ragnarok. Luke Force is nothing but a rich man with a small mind. At WAR I’m going to take that small mind and crush it between my clobbering paws because that’s what I do. I do not need to be coy on condescending. Condesending is for weak people like him who are trying to be strong – like myself.
Seriously, look at your champions and they are all jokes except for Johnny Rabid and Gravedigger. I understand who Mikey Extreme is but unfortunately and he knows this to be true, he is at his pinnicle. He should have teamed up with ZMAC when he had a chance and elevated his career. Honestly, when you need ZMAC to boost your entire career in WCF – you may want to re-evaluate your life choices. That’s a nice little Omega Chamionship there but like David Sanchez, he’s allways be the bridesmaid and never the bride. Now, I like Mikey Extreme but in WAR, I aint friends with anyone. In fact, at WAR, when I see a current champion I’m going to tear them to pieces.
I am going to eliminate every damn champion that I come across because compared to me – they are not. Yah, that’s right – I said it. Go fuck yourself gravedigger. You are not who you were ten years ago and you have been chasing that ghost ever fucking since. In those ten years, in all the years I have known you, you could not get back to that point. Honestly, you never fucking will because you have faced the wall and truth of the matter that everyone has always known about you. You are an inferior wrestler and champion. You’re like if Jay Price and FPV had a baby. You allow your longevity to be cyclical for you. You hope and pray to god that if you just hang out enough and collect your crumby pay check- you’ll get a title and climb the ladder. Its sickening. You, Price and FPV might as well be the same god damn person as far as I’m concerned because when you get down too it – none of you are talented enough in the ring. When I was sitting atop the WCF none of you were and its funny now that I’m back; none of you again. So maybe, just maybe you’re all in your down swings and just waiting to get lifted up. Yah, digger, I bet that Peoples championship feels real good on your shoulder. Touch it. Hold it. Settle for the worst fucking belt in WCF because you can never be a world champion ever again. Especially now that I’m back in the Dub.
You could even talk about Ethan King, Hardcore champion. How Hardcore can you be when this isn’t even classic DuB when dudes killed each other. Truth be told, I could care less about this kids accomplishments or what he did to get that belt because its not worth what he’s going to have to do at WAR to get passed me. I’ll walk to the ring, give this kid a fucking Uzi and let him pull the trigger point blank against my skull AND THEN he still wouldn’t be able to get the job done. That’s how hardcore that kid is, I could kill myself in the middle of that ring and he still wouldn’t be able to eliminate me. Fucking Christ, if we’re talking about weak champion, Ethan King might just take the fucking cake. He is, after all, about as hardcore as a lemon crème pie. Disgusting little twerp. I’ll be doing him a favor when I break him spine over my knee and put him away for good. Then maybe hardcore can actually return to the way it used to be in the Dub –before Andre Holmes ruined it with his French foot fighting bullshit.
Everyone else in this match, you can all go do your fucking research against the All Father. Go and realized how fucked you are. I suggest you all bring your own condoms because the All Father is going raw in this match and beating every last one of you within an inch of your life. You all want to be a champion and have this great moment in the sun – well allow the All Father to suplex you into it. I can tell you all right now that this will not be a shining moment. This will not be a proud moment. No, not for any of you.
I mean, I understand it. You’ll see me – a hall of fame guy and a legend and try to pick your bones and get one over but there isn’t anyone in this match that is willing to eliminate me. Not one of you is willing to take that risk. Sure, you might say it on camera because you’re all ‘ tough guys and heels’ but that’s another all onto its self. Me, I don’t have to go in detail and research twenty guys who most likely wont even be here for ONE; let alone compete in it. Me, However, I’ll be there. I’ll be at ONE. I’ll be in the main event yet again competing for the world championship against either Steven Sing or Johnny Raid. To you both, I really fucking hope you studied the tapes on me because I’ve seen you both on your very top form and if that ‘A minus’ Odin Balfore that just coasted through matches could tear you down and spit you out – just imagine what WAR BALFORE is going to do to you at one.
The way I see it, this match is a formality to January. The way I see it, this is where I get to see if the champions and challengers are all talk or if they’re all walk. Spoilers right now WCF, none of you are. At WAR in a few short weeks..
ITS OVAH BABY!
WAR BALFORE has returned with vengeance on his mind, suffering in his heart and destruction in his wake. If there is any man in WCF who can stand up to the All Father, may he do so now and enjoy the way the world looks from a vertical position one last time because I am going to put you in a hospital bed permanently. WAR Sixteen will forever be known as the event that WAR BALFORE RETURNED
And everyone else faded away.
Except for guys like Andre Holmes. Who stands there like I don’t see him; like I don’t know him. Andre Holmes is the last man I fought in WCF earlier this year for the Hardcore Championship and yah, he came up with a W but where has that gotten him now? A down grade. Tag Teaming with Jayson Price and this right here, WAR is his only hope to crawl out of the hole that he foolishly put himself in. Now, this man wants to prop himself as a man who can be champion when it is clear to me and everyone else that he is everything else but that. He is another won that could barely handle that ‘A minus’ Odin Balfore. He is another one – as there are so many who thank god that they got out of there with their shitty- terrible – mediocre life.
I mean, I get it. Andre is one of many in WCF who have had a shitty, terrible life and wrestling is that outlet. And I know that Andre trains and he works hard and goes on that grind. But let me tell you something about Andre Holmes, that does not make him special. He has like the opposite of the X factor. He’s good but you don’t know why. He doesn’t do anything better than anyone else. He doesn’t talk better than anyone else, he does not even grasp simple concepts in this business but hey – he’s a goodhand or something.
Or something, Andre.
I have been in this business nearly as long as some of these people have been alive and the story, the game, it never changes. It It is because there will always be people like you, Ethan King and Luke Force in this business. None of you do anything well, its just that you get lucky fighting shitty people and then when it is time to step up – all that talent and hunger that you have just kind of steps the fuck out.
It is clear to me that all these guys and their drive has stepped the fuck out because they think in their small mind – they have made it. Bitch, you aint aint made nuttin yet but the nuttin I’m about to do on your faces. As if I aint seen two dudes identical to Luke Force a month ago. And they had better facial hair and unlike Luke, they were actually charismatic.
I am, right now, right here, more charismatic than anyone in WCF. They know it but they don’t want to admit it. It is because they already have to admit so much to themselves already and they just cant bare to admit anymore. But I’ll keep going because unlike them, I know how to flex my verbal dick and rupture them from the inside out. And do you know why?
James Cameron: Why?
The All Father: It is because of this man right here to my left. I have the ability to shoot like a coked up mad man and for years I decided not to do that. Well, as Joey Flash suggested to me last year – maybe I should. Maybe I should shoot with the fire and the passion. Use my laser focus and just start in on everyone who I come across and trust me when I tell you, WCF – I will come across you. Welcome to your mother fucking downfall.
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Scene Three: Even Bigger in Japan
Park Hyatt Hotel. Tokyo, Japan.
The All Father has not been in Japan in some time and everytime he’s in Japan, it is a special time. This is WAR, the times do not much more special. By this time, The All Father has made his WAR announcement and later that evening fans were swarming the Park Hyatt. Fans have gathered outside the hotel, facing the All Fathers balcony. The All Father and James Cameron watch the crowd chanting from inside the room. The All Father pulls Cameron outside as the camera rolls.
The All Father: Do you see this? Do you in WCF see all this? Do you think they’re here for you? Hmmm? Luke Force, SWJ? You all aint never seen this many people a day in your life; let alone in an area screaming your name. They scream for blood. They scream for the All Father, the good, the bad and dangerous. They aint here for FPV, neither. Aint no one ever sold out an arena off the back of FPV or Jay fuckin Omega. In fact, the arenas haven’t been sold out in quite some time so I’d be interesting in hearing the lame ass excuses from the rambling fools who think they can pick up the tourch and run with it. Except they have a few damn problems.
1. THEY CAN RUN
2. THEY AINT GOT HANDS
3. THEY AFRAID OF FIRE
For all these guys who claim to be the next big thang, why aint chu the bg thang right now- cuz you ain’t. Cuz you cant. Aint no one in the Dub can be the next big thang when the next big thang has always been the biggest thang. This big thang.
Johnny Rabid, son. Where you at? Which room is yours. You wana be the big guy in the yard. You want to win War, here – let me throw your punk ass over the mother fucking balcony. Give you that ritual fuckin suicide because if you think you can toe up with the All Father, you gone be six feet undah real fuckin quick. I see you there with your TV title and you see me right here with thousands of fans who just want to see my face because I haven’t been in Japan in quite some time. They get to see your punk ass every week on TV and still you cannot captivate the world in the way that I can.
Gravedigger, these are your people, right? Listen to them; they aint yours. They aint here fah you. A million years in WCF and aint no one ever come to see you- even when you owned the company because we all know if you actually had your own, it’d tank Totally. Non-stop and without any sort of Action. So I guess maybe Bishop is the man of the people? The rightful peoples champion whose going to make their voices heard and win WAR? Listen to them, Bishop.
Crowd: WAR BALFORE ! WAR BALFORE!
The All Father: Its me, Bishop who has the will of the people and at WAR they’ll just be begging me to stop beating the fucking shit out of you. I swear to fucking Christ, Bishop I’ll rip out your damn heart and feed it to you- maybe then you’ll have a fucking fighting chance because I’ll have fed you the very thing you need in this industry because let me tell you something – I’ll tell you all this in WCF..
Ain’t none of you got heart. Aint none of you got Charisma and more importantly, aint none of you got a gawd damn chance!
The Battle is.. Already won.
Scene one: The James Cameron Experience
James Camerons summer home. Walrarapa, New Zealand. late August 2017
James Cameron is a funny man. He laughed rather gingerly with a glass of scotch in his hand. However, everything about him was pretentious. With a net worth of over a billion dollars, such things tend to happen. He has a sprawling estate but its still rather modest but you know if you peel away the wall paper and up root the carpet, the entire house will bleed gold bricks like the blood out of an elevator in some Colorado hotel. Camerons own brand of madness was the caretaker. He just sat there with his legs crossed on his sofa, laughing; swirling vintage scotch like it was a glass of chocolate milk. It amused him; the savage. The All Father stood a few feet in front of him.
James Cameron: You know why I called you here?
The All Father sighs.
The All Father: I will not play a cyborg me from the future sent back to the past to have sex with Miley Cyrus in what I assume is some weird half-baked gritty, porno-noir with serious and deep undertones. Mainly, among these is of how society views sex as some taboo subject even though we all do it, so you lace comedic plot threads to mask the pain and suffering of an entire generation indoctrinated from youth to reject the inner callings of their primal selves and the expression of such.
James Cameron takes an intriguing look at the All Father as he swirls his scotch and takes a sip. He squints his eyes and invasions a sexy porno-noir version of the terminator.
James Cameron: I like it. You would make a great T-6900.
The All Father groans.
The All Father: No.
James Cameron presses his gingers to his lips.
James Cameron: But what to call it.
The All Father: How about, ‘Shut The Fuck Up, James Cameron, before I punch your stupid face.’
James Cameron: Too long. But then again, it did work for that Birdman movie and it did wonders for Michael Keetons career.
The All Father: I think that is why you called me here.
James Cameron: No, no. You’re too tall to play Batman. Tom Cruise would throw a fit. Did you know that he always wanted to play batman but Michelle Pfeiffer is actually six foot fix so he wouldn’t take the role in Batman Returns.
The All Father seems really bored by this.
The All Father: That’s so interesting. Literally every Vox and buzzfeed article is about comic books now.
James Cameron: I know, that’s why we have to stay ahead of the game. I was thinking something more like a redemption story. A classic champion returns and makes good.
The All Father: I swear to God, James Cameron.
James Cameron reacts in a panicked tone.
James Cameron: Shh, SHH!!! Jam Willy will hear you.
The All Father: You called me here for a redemption story?
James Cameron: Yes, Yes, of course! I heard through the THICK-VINE -
A piece of the All Father dies inside for such egregious usage of the THICK vernacular but lets it go before that part of his life is over.
James Cameron: That you were looking to get back into wrestling. And I know that Wrestling is on the fringe now and not as popular with the MMA thing going on but I think we if we do this right, then we can make a serious impact at CANNS.
The All Father takes a seat.
The All Father: I’m listening.
James Cameron: Well, I figured that I would follow you around and document your life and your return to the ring. I know that you had a lot of success all over the world; even if I’m not too familiar with it. So we could start that as soon as you’re ready. It’ll just be you and me, James Cameron.
_____________________________
Scene Two: Deep in the Heart of the Ocean of Texas
The Benjamin F. Conrad Compound. Texas. Early September
Benjamin F. Conrad, former manager and trainer to the All Father, actual father to Zombie McMorris. He has retired from pro wrestling and has taken up government espionage for the CIA, unofficially of course. Conrads estate was thirty miles in all directions. The government even gave him his own zip code. The estate has its own grocery, laundry mat, movie theatre and recreational facilities for the full time live in staff. Sometimes that staff balloons up to two hundred people. A lot of the land was over grown but that was just fine to the man that could be the 47th richest country in the world. Little known fact that twenty percent of the US defense budget goes right into Conrads pocket tax free. Conrad is tall, six foot eight. He’s mean and weighs three hundred pounds. Most importantly, he doesn’t like visitors. However, the All Father and James Cameron drop by unannounced. They appear at his door as the All Father rings the doorbell. Conrad answers.
Conrad: What the hell do you want, Balfore?
The All Father: Well, me and James Cameron were just in the neighborhood and decided to drop by.
Conrad: Who did you say?
James Cameron: Hi, I’m James Cameron.
* slow- glamor head shake complete with slow dramatic music * [ when you’re here – theres nothing I fear and I know that my heart will – go on. ]
Conrad pulls The All Father in the house, clenches his teeth and demands answers.
Conrad: What the hell are you doing; bringing James Cameron into my house. You know my secret love of Titanic.
The All Father: Your what?
Conrad realizes that The All Father has no idea what he’s talking about and back tracks.
Conrad: Nevermind that. Why are you here?
James Cameron steps through the door with a sheepish smile.
James Cameron: Hi, sir or ma’dam my name is James Cameron and by federal law I am required to tell you that -
The All Father cuts him off.
The All Father: We’re here for a documentary.
Conrad: A documentary about who, You? Why would anyone want to film you sitting around your castle eating chocolate cake and smoking the devils pesto? That whole THICKNESS thing was dumb. Anything my half retarded son is into his dumb.
The All Father: Your son is about to be world champion.
Conrad reacts with a dead pan and monotone expression.
Conrad: Oh gee, yah. Cant wait to see how he screws that one up.
James Cameron: We’re actually here to film Odin. He’s making a return to wrestling and I wanted to follow his journey. I think it can be really compelling stuff. I was hoping to interview you because you’ve trained him and knew him the longest. It’ll just be us and a hand held camera; maybe an hour tops.
Conrad swoons.
Conrad: Anything for you, James Cameron.
Conrad leads them to his living room where James Cameron gets set up. Conrad starts to unbutton his shirt but James Cameron takes notice.
James Cameron: What are you doing?
Conrad: I figured we’d do it here in my living room.
James Cameron: Yah, the interview. What are you doing taking off your shirt?
Conrad buttons it back up an and nervously laughs it off.
Conrad: nothing, I was just playing a joke. Try and break the iceberg, you know?
The All Father buries his face into his hand.
James Cameron: Just sit down. We’re rolling. All you guys gotta do is talk.
Conrad and the All Father get settled as Conrad clears his throat and starts.
Conrad: My name is Benjamin F. Conrad. I have Odin here for seventeen years. You could say that I discovered him. I trained him and with my help he’s become a thirteen time world champion all over the world. I have seen this man at his best and his worst and right now, I can tell you that this is his best. I have not seen him in any better shape nor with more determination. If he is as serious about his return to wrestling as he says, then the world is in for a lot of trouble.
The All Father: I have seen WCF throughout the years and for every one good talent, there’s twenty guys in the back that are absolute shit. Now, to me, all that anyone can say about their chances in this match is just wishing thinking – plain and simple. Everyone here has some grandiose opinion of themselves that they are the one to be the next big thing and even to the ones are *are,* know that you are not. I could come at all of you with the clichés of a long hard road and the fight to get back but let me tell you something – this comes easy to me. It comes easy because it has always been easy. If there is one thing that has stunted my career its that I went soft and allowed the world around me to change without my direct influence. I became complacent with my role in WCF as a backstage hand, helping people but that’s not what WCF needs and honestly- that’s not what I need either.
I have always been a fighter, a contender, a conqueror and a vanquisher. I can look back to when I started and its essentially the same landscape. There’s twenty dudes, maybe two have talent- the rest are trash and then there’s the All Father. I’m head and shoulders above the rest in talent and pure skill. The only difference between last year and this year is that I’m hungrier because last year was the trial run of IF I can and I realized that, that’s no longer even a question. I had top guys in the fed calling me an ‘A minus’ player for just doing the bare minimum of what’s required of me. Now let that sink in for a moment. I was and still am a top tier talent in WCF without trying, even you could say, going below trying and just coasting along in the few matches that I have had.
So, what happened last year, when that A minus player put some work in – I broke records but this year I’m breaking spines. I’m going to put the mass collective of WCF on the shelf and in wheelchairs. I’m going to choke slam the entire company so damn hard that they’ll be living out of an iron lung, sitting on twitter and trying to roast me with shitty dank memes because
1. Aint none of them got talent enough to go toe to toe with me in the ring, on the mic or even on the damn internet.
2. If they laugh, they’ll collapse the other lung and then they’ll be dead.
Truthfully, they should just do themselves and the world the favor. Go and get that shit over with right fucking now. I’m not here to talk big and scary and dabble in the hypothetical. There is nothing Hypothetical about Odin Balfore returning to WCF with a TB Twelve size chip on his shoulder – ready to throw bombs and strikes and fuck over everyone who dare thinks that they are going to derail the Noridic Tank. If you want to talk about those Top guys, those Everest guys with their heads so far up their ass, the name is actually an ironic twist of fate- I’m not impressed by ANY of them. Last year they were all mid card players and this year by default they got bumped up. Well, now they’re going to get bumped back down and I hope they really enjoy snacking on the Alpha and Omega Championships because when I get back to the Dub at WAR, the entire hierarchy of WCF will shift with the balance of power. This Power. The All Father.
Then you have guys like Luke Force who run a multi-billion dollar company. That’s cute. I own an island nation, a castle in Denmark – my best friend is a raccoon – oh, and I can suplex this planet into the fucking sun if he speaks out of line against me. He’s another midcard player getting to dabble in the waters of a world he clearly knows nothing about. He went on a little tangent about how fans love him and how hes getting his time with some shit tier championship. Well, when he meets the All Father in the middle of that ring, all the Japanese fans in the world will not save him from Ragnarok. Luke Force is nothing but a rich man with a small mind. At WAR I’m going to take that small mind and crush it between my clobbering paws because that’s what I do. I do not need to be coy on condescending. Condesending is for weak people like him who are trying to be strong – like myself.
Seriously, look at your champions and they are all jokes except for Johnny Rabid and Gravedigger. I understand who Mikey Extreme is but unfortunately and he knows this to be true, he is at his pinnicle. He should have teamed up with ZMAC when he had a chance and elevated his career. Honestly, when you need ZMAC to boost your entire career in WCF – you may want to re-evaluate your life choices. That’s a nice little Omega Chamionship there but like David Sanchez, he’s allways be the bridesmaid and never the bride. Now, I like Mikey Extreme but in WAR, I aint friends with anyone. In fact, at WAR, when I see a current champion I’m going to tear them to pieces.
I am going to eliminate every damn champion that I come across because compared to me – they are not. Yah, that’s right – I said it. Go fuck yourself gravedigger. You are not who you were ten years ago and you have been chasing that ghost ever fucking since. In those ten years, in all the years I have known you, you could not get back to that point. Honestly, you never fucking will because you have faced the wall and truth of the matter that everyone has always known about you. You are an inferior wrestler and champion. You’re like if Jay Price and FPV had a baby. You allow your longevity to be cyclical for you. You hope and pray to god that if you just hang out enough and collect your crumby pay check- you’ll get a title and climb the ladder. Its sickening. You, Price and FPV might as well be the same god damn person as far as I’m concerned because when you get down too it – none of you are talented enough in the ring. When I was sitting atop the WCF none of you were and its funny now that I’m back; none of you again. So maybe, just maybe you’re all in your down swings and just waiting to get lifted up. Yah, digger, I bet that Peoples championship feels real good on your shoulder. Touch it. Hold it. Settle for the worst fucking belt in WCF because you can never be a world champion ever again. Especially now that I’m back in the Dub.
You could even talk about Ethan King, Hardcore champion. How Hardcore can you be when this isn’t even classic DuB when dudes killed each other. Truth be told, I could care less about this kids accomplishments or what he did to get that belt because its not worth what he’s going to have to do at WAR to get passed me. I’ll walk to the ring, give this kid a fucking Uzi and let him pull the trigger point blank against my skull AND THEN he still wouldn’t be able to get the job done. That’s how hardcore that kid is, I could kill myself in the middle of that ring and he still wouldn’t be able to eliminate me. Fucking Christ, if we’re talking about weak champion, Ethan King might just take the fucking cake. He is, after all, about as hardcore as a lemon crème pie. Disgusting little twerp. I’ll be doing him a favor when I break him spine over my knee and put him away for good. Then maybe hardcore can actually return to the way it used to be in the Dub –before Andre Holmes ruined it with his French foot fighting bullshit.
Everyone else in this match, you can all go do your fucking research against the All Father. Go and realized how fucked you are. I suggest you all bring your own condoms because the All Father is going raw in this match and beating every last one of you within an inch of your life. You all want to be a champion and have this great moment in the sun – well allow the All Father to suplex you into it. I can tell you all right now that this will not be a shining moment. This will not be a proud moment. No, not for any of you.
I mean, I understand it. You’ll see me – a hall of fame guy and a legend and try to pick your bones and get one over but there isn’t anyone in this match that is willing to eliminate me. Not one of you is willing to take that risk. Sure, you might say it on camera because you’re all ‘ tough guys and heels’ but that’s another all onto its self. Me, I don’t have to go in detail and research twenty guys who most likely wont even be here for ONE; let alone compete in it. Me, However, I’ll be there. I’ll be at ONE. I’ll be in the main event yet again competing for the world championship against either Steven Sing or Johnny Raid. To you both, I really fucking hope you studied the tapes on me because I’ve seen you both on your very top form and if that ‘A minus’ Odin Balfore that just coasted through matches could tear you down and spit you out – just imagine what WAR BALFORE is going to do to you at one.
The way I see it, this match is a formality to January. The way I see it, this is where I get to see if the champions and challengers are all talk or if they’re all walk. Spoilers right now WCF, none of you are. At WAR in a few short weeks..
ITS OVAH BABY!
WAR BALFORE has returned with vengeance on his mind, suffering in his heart and destruction in his wake. If there is any man in WCF who can stand up to the All Father, may he do so now and enjoy the way the world looks from a vertical position one last time because I am going to put you in a hospital bed permanently. WAR Sixteen will forever be known as the event that WAR BALFORE RETURNED
And everyone else faded away.
Except for guys like Andre Holmes. Who stands there like I don’t see him; like I don’t know him. Andre Holmes is the last man I fought in WCF earlier this year for the Hardcore Championship and yah, he came up with a W but where has that gotten him now? A down grade. Tag Teaming with Jayson Price and this right here, WAR is his only hope to crawl out of the hole that he foolishly put himself in. Now, this man wants to prop himself as a man who can be champion when it is clear to me and everyone else that he is everything else but that. He is another won that could barely handle that ‘A minus’ Odin Balfore. He is another one – as there are so many who thank god that they got out of there with their shitty- terrible – mediocre life.
I mean, I get it. Andre is one of many in WCF who have had a shitty, terrible life and wrestling is that outlet. And I know that Andre trains and he works hard and goes on that grind. But let me tell you something about Andre Holmes, that does not make him special. He has like the opposite of the X factor. He’s good but you don’t know why. He doesn’t do anything better than anyone else. He doesn’t talk better than anyone else, he does not even grasp simple concepts in this business but hey – he’s a goodhand or something.
Or something, Andre.
I have been in this business nearly as long as some of these people have been alive and the story, the game, it never changes. It It is because there will always be people like you, Ethan King and Luke Force in this business. None of you do anything well, its just that you get lucky fighting shitty people and then when it is time to step up – all that talent and hunger that you have just kind of steps the fuck out.
It is clear to me that all these guys and their drive has stepped the fuck out because they think in their small mind – they have made it. Bitch, you aint aint made nuttin yet but the nuttin I’m about to do on your faces. As if I aint seen two dudes identical to Luke Force a month ago. And they had better facial hair and unlike Luke, they were actually charismatic.
I am, right now, right here, more charismatic than anyone in WCF. They know it but they don’t want to admit it. It is because they already have to admit so much to themselves already and they just cant bare to admit anymore. But I’ll keep going because unlike them, I know how to flex my verbal dick and rupture them from the inside out. And do you know why?
James Cameron: Why?
The All Father: It is because of this man right here to my left. I have the ability to shoot like a coked up mad man and for years I decided not to do that. Well, as Joey Flash suggested to me last year – maybe I should. Maybe I should shoot with the fire and the passion. Use my laser focus and just start in on everyone who I come across and trust me when I tell you, WCF – I will come across you. Welcome to your mother fucking downfall.
_________________________
Scene Three: Even Bigger in Japan
Park Hyatt Hotel. Tokyo, Japan.
The All Father has not been in Japan in some time and everytime he’s in Japan, it is a special time. This is WAR, the times do not much more special. By this time, The All Father has made his WAR announcement and later that evening fans were swarming the Park Hyatt. Fans have gathered outside the hotel, facing the All Fathers balcony. The All Father and James Cameron watch the crowd chanting from inside the room. The All Father pulls Cameron outside as the camera rolls.
The All Father: Do you see this? Do you in WCF see all this? Do you think they’re here for you? Hmmm? Luke Force, SWJ? You all aint never seen this many people a day in your life; let alone in an area screaming your name. They scream for blood. They scream for the All Father, the good, the bad and dangerous. They aint here for FPV, neither. Aint no one ever sold out an arena off the back of FPV or Jay fuckin Omega. In fact, the arenas haven’t been sold out in quite some time so I’d be interesting in hearing the lame ass excuses from the rambling fools who think they can pick up the tourch and run with it. Except they have a few damn problems.
1. THEY CAN RUN
2. THEY AINT GOT HANDS
3. THEY AFRAID OF FIRE
For all these guys who claim to be the next big thang, why aint chu the bg thang right now- cuz you ain’t. Cuz you cant. Aint no one in the Dub can be the next big thang when the next big thang has always been the biggest thang. This big thang.
Johnny Rabid, son. Where you at? Which room is yours. You wana be the big guy in the yard. You want to win War, here – let me throw your punk ass over the mother fucking balcony. Give you that ritual fuckin suicide because if you think you can toe up with the All Father, you gone be six feet undah real fuckin quick. I see you there with your TV title and you see me right here with thousands of fans who just want to see my face because I haven’t been in Japan in quite some time. They get to see your punk ass every week on TV and still you cannot captivate the world in the way that I can.
Gravedigger, these are your people, right? Listen to them; they aint yours. They aint here fah you. A million years in WCF and aint no one ever come to see you- even when you owned the company because we all know if you actually had your own, it’d tank Totally. Non-stop and without any sort of Action. So I guess maybe Bishop is the man of the people? The rightful peoples champion whose going to make their voices heard and win WAR? Listen to them, Bishop.
Crowd: WAR BALFORE ! WAR BALFORE!
The All Father: Its me, Bishop who has the will of the people and at WAR they’ll just be begging me to stop beating the fucking shit out of you. I swear to fucking Christ, Bishop I’ll rip out your damn heart and feed it to you- maybe then you’ll have a fucking fighting chance because I’ll have fed you the very thing you need in this industry because let me tell you something – I’ll tell you all this in WCF..
Ain’t none of you got heart. Aint none of you got Charisma and more importantly, aint none of you got a gawd damn chance!
The Battle is.. Already won.
