Post by The Very Big Śpainards on Jul 20, 2017 13:26:19 GMT -5
It had been about 2 hours since William had his 'sharknado' match. He had been bandaged up and was wearing a cast on his left foot, where the shark had bitten him. He was now driving in the car, with Ainsley, barking orders at him like where to drive and what speed.
William: I think you were meant to take a left at that turn.
Ainsley: I think you should just make up your mind about where you want me to drive because you've changed your minds about 3 times in the last 15 minutes and it's sort of pissing me off.
William: We're trying to find a decent dojo! How else am I gonna win this match?
Ainsley: We've just been to about 3 dojo's and you've decided each one is crap because the owner isn't Asian.
William: Hey! IF it's not owned by a Chinese person it's a fake dojo! I know this I'm an expert.
Ainsley: What makes you an expert?
William: I saw the trailer for 'birth of the dragon'
Ainsley: Is that the fucking Bruce Lee origin story movie?
William: Yes.
Ainsley: THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU AN EXPERT!
William: YES IT DOES!
Ainsley knew better than to argue with William when he was shouting. Not because William would get angry but because in about 2 minutes his vocabulary would dissolve into him just saying shut up repeatedly for the next 3 hours.
William: My feet hurt
Ainsley: Did you not watch the 'birth of the bone doctor'? If you had you'd be an expert i-
William: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUT-
Ainsley: Ok!
William: UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
Ainsley: OK I'M SHUTTING UP!
William stared at Ainsley with eyes of rage, ready to resume his abuse of the phrase 'shut up should Ainsley even begin to talk.
William and Ainsley got to the dojo and they both entered. It was a nice dojo. It was basically empty, but a nice man in a karate costume soon walked over to the door. Luckily for William he was Asian.
Man: Hello, Have you come to seek training? Teaming is on Wednesdays and Saturdays we are closed at the momen-
William: Do not worry, Karate-san, I shall not make a mockery of your dojo, I have come for training.
'Karate-san': Err....Like I said training is o-
William: It is a very rare type of kung-fu called 'Taipei
Ainsley: It's not a type of Kung-fu William.
William: Ainsley, the martial arts masters are speaking go and do...Ainsley things, I dunno.
'Karate-san': You there, Ainsley? What is this Taipei thing your friend is going on about.
Ainsley: It's where you cover your hands in glue and then put your hand in a bucket of broken glass and then beat the shit out of someone.
William: I HAVE TO DO WHAT?!
'Karate-san': Thats not get anything to with, like, anything that is related to Kung-fu.
Ainsley: Yeah we'd look it up on the internet but there isn't a trailer for the movie about a guy that did a few times.
William: AINSLEYSHATUP!
William quickly regained composure and had a stare down with Karate-san. William chuckled and then placed his hand on to Karate-san's shoulder.
William: Do you feel in charge?
William said in a Bane voice.
Karate-san: I didn't say I felt in charg-
William: DO YA FEEL IN CHARGE!
Karate-san: Yes.
William: UGHUNGHUGHUN!
William screamed something unrecognizable before throwing a punch at the karate man and hitting him right in the jaw. The man retaliated quickly by nailing William right in the throat. William fell backwards and started to croak something out.
William: CHCHSTHISFUCKINGAHACCSH
William fell backwards and Ainsley walked in between the two men.
Ainsley: Go fuck yourself China Tea Cup.
Karate-san: You're not the first pair of asshole to be an asshole in my doj-
William: SUUUUPAKEEEEEEEK
William screamed kicking the Karate Man right in the testicles. The man grabbed his balls and yelled put in pain before falling to his knees.
William breathed heavily.
William: Wow, that was...That was extremely racist.
Ainsley: Wat?
William: You just called him a China Tea cup, that's fricking racist as fuck.
Ainsley: Yeah but...You! You just left like 3 dojos because they were run by white people!
William: That isn't racist.
Ainsley: Why?!
William: because it's impossible to be racist to white people.
Ainsley: No it FUCKING isn't!
William: I'm the least racist person you'll ever meet.
Ainsley: Remember that time in Mexico when we ran into that gang?
William: Don't talk about that, Ainsley. Not in front of Karate-san.
The karate master was struggling on the floor and raised his head.
Karate-san: fuck you, you fat cunt.
William: Konichi-fuck yourself, go back to Korea.
William finished shouting at the man and turned around to look at Ainsleys face.
Ainsley: A-are you fucking serious! DID YOU NOT HEAR HOW RACIST THAT WAS?!
William: Nope. No I did not.
William proudly walled out of the dojo into the car and after Ainsley tried to figure out how William could be capable of being that stupid he got in the car too.
William: So, let's sleep up, and then fight.
William picked up his phone from the floor of the garbage filled car and looked at his notifications. He had a notification from Wade Moor. Of course William being the self-absorbed asshole he is didn't bother to think about the fact that the only reason he won against Wade Moor is because he luckily managed to land on him after they were both washed ashore.
Ainsley: What're you looking at?
William: Well I scolded Wade Moor for being a fake shark.
Ainsley: You know for a guy called Wade Moor, he sure weighed less, didn't he?
William: PFFFFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAGAGA! THAT'S HILARIOUS. HA! HA! IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE HE'S A MIDGET! EHEHEHEHE.
William continued laughing uncontrollably before suddenly stopping after 30 seconds. The sudden stop was weird and confused Ainsley, who was extremely pleased with the praise he was getting.
Ainsley: What happened?
William raised his head slowly, twitching his right eye and not making eye contact.
William: I know who my opponent is.
Ainsley was startled. He knew who William's opponent was and quickly reached into his pockets.
Ainsley: Oh I came prepared for this bitch.
Ainsley pulled out a pair of ear defenders.
William: It's oblivion.
Ainsley nodded at William, completely unable to hear what he was saying.
William: You wanna know what I think Obliivon is?
Ainsley nodded some more pretending to hear him.
William: I THINK HE'S A FUCKING DOG SHIT EATING, CATCUS FUCKING, VOMIT SWALLOWING, FACE EATING, TREE HUGGING, DARKNESS MASTURBATING, FUCKASSSHITDOGCUNTTITSDICKHEADFEETSHITASSFECKCATSHITFUCK-STICKLE! AND I FUCKING HATE HIIIIIIIM!!! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!
Ainsley's plan had failed miserably As he heard everything William said, more importantly how loud it was, he could feel some blood dripping from his ears.
Ainsley: Why Do you even care so much what'd he even do?
William: He bit my face!! MY FAAAAACE!
Ainsley: Yeah and he also beat up Lillith, who we beat to get the Internet Championship.
William: YEAH WEL-......
William paused for a moment. He thought about Oblivion biting his face. Then he thought about Psychopomp trying to throw him off a scaffold, Wade Moor trying to drown him and Jason Price trying to feed him to a Rabid Bear. Ainsley was right, there was a lot of different people to blame for everything that goes wrong ever.
William sat silently for a moment and paused. He pulled put his phone and checked his Twitter, he also checked Oblivions Twitter. Oblivion had called him fat.
It was that moment that William remembered why everything that was wrong in the world was Oblivions fault.
William: HE FUCKING CALLED ME FAT! I'M NOT FAT AINSLEY! HE'S A ASS MUNCHING, METH SMOKIN-
William continued on for another 20 minutes ranting about Oblivion. He had been attacked by a bear and a Shark and witnessed Samuel Jackson attack said shark with a knife. He was ready to win.
William: I think you were meant to take a left at that turn.
Ainsley: I think you should just make up your mind about where you want me to drive because you've changed your minds about 3 times in the last 15 minutes and it's sort of pissing me off.
William: We're trying to find a decent dojo! How else am I gonna win this match?
Ainsley: We've just been to about 3 dojo's and you've decided each one is crap because the owner isn't Asian.
William: Hey! IF it's not owned by a Chinese person it's a fake dojo! I know this I'm an expert.
Ainsley: What makes you an expert?
William: I saw the trailer for 'birth of the dragon'
Ainsley: Is that the fucking Bruce Lee origin story movie?
William: Yes.
Ainsley: THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU AN EXPERT!
William: YES IT DOES!
Ainsley knew better than to argue with William when he was shouting. Not because William would get angry but because in about 2 minutes his vocabulary would dissolve into him just saying shut up repeatedly for the next 3 hours.
William: My feet hurt
Ainsley: Did you not watch the 'birth of the bone doctor'? If you had you'd be an expert i-
William: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUT-
Ainsley: Ok!
William: UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
Ainsley: OK I'M SHUTTING UP!
William stared at Ainsley with eyes of rage, ready to resume his abuse of the phrase 'shut up should Ainsley even begin to talk.
William and Ainsley got to the dojo and they both entered. It was a nice dojo. It was basically empty, but a nice man in a karate costume soon walked over to the door. Luckily for William he was Asian.
Man: Hello, Have you come to seek training? Teaming is on Wednesdays and Saturdays we are closed at the momen-
William: Do not worry, Karate-san, I shall not make a mockery of your dojo, I have come for training.
'Karate-san': Err....Like I said training is o-
William: It is a very rare type of kung-fu called 'Taipei
Ainsley: It's not a type of Kung-fu William.
William: Ainsley, the martial arts masters are speaking go and do...Ainsley things, I dunno.
'Karate-san': You there, Ainsley? What is this Taipei thing your friend is going on about.
Ainsley: It's where you cover your hands in glue and then put your hand in a bucket of broken glass and then beat the shit out of someone.
William: I HAVE TO DO WHAT?!
'Karate-san': Thats not get anything to with, like, anything that is related to Kung-fu.
Ainsley: Yeah we'd look it up on the internet but there isn't a trailer for the movie about a guy that did a few times.
William: AINSLEYSHATUP!
William quickly regained composure and had a stare down with Karate-san. William chuckled and then placed his hand on to Karate-san's shoulder.
William: Do you feel in charge?
William said in a Bane voice.
Karate-san: I didn't say I felt in charg-
William: DO YA FEEL IN CHARGE!
Karate-san: Yes.
William: UGHUNGHUGHUN!
William screamed something unrecognizable before throwing a punch at the karate man and hitting him right in the jaw. The man retaliated quickly by nailing William right in the throat. William fell backwards and started to croak something out.
William: CHCHSTHISFUCKINGAHACCSH
William fell backwards and Ainsley walked in between the two men.
Ainsley: Go fuck yourself China Tea Cup.
Karate-san: You're not the first pair of asshole to be an asshole in my doj-
William: SUUUUPAKEEEEEEEK
William screamed kicking the Karate Man right in the testicles. The man grabbed his balls and yelled put in pain before falling to his knees.
William breathed heavily.
William: Wow, that was...That was extremely racist.
Ainsley: Wat?
William: You just called him a China Tea cup, that's fricking racist as fuck.
Ainsley: Yeah but...You! You just left like 3 dojos because they were run by white people!
William: That isn't racist.
Ainsley: Why?!
William: because it's impossible to be racist to white people.
Ainsley: No it FUCKING isn't!
William: I'm the least racist person you'll ever meet.
Ainsley: Remember that time in Mexico when we ran into that gang?
William: Don't talk about that, Ainsley. Not in front of Karate-san.
The karate master was struggling on the floor and raised his head.
Karate-san: fuck you, you fat cunt.
William: Konichi-fuck yourself, go back to Korea.
William finished shouting at the man and turned around to look at Ainsleys face.
Ainsley: A-are you fucking serious! DID YOU NOT HEAR HOW RACIST THAT WAS?!
William: Nope. No I did not.
William proudly walled out of the dojo into the car and after Ainsley tried to figure out how William could be capable of being that stupid he got in the car too.
William: So, let's sleep up, and then fight.
William picked up his phone from the floor of the garbage filled car and looked at his notifications. He had a notification from Wade Moor. Of course William being the self-absorbed asshole he is didn't bother to think about the fact that the only reason he won against Wade Moor is because he luckily managed to land on him after they were both washed ashore.
Ainsley: What're you looking at?
William: Well I scolded Wade Moor for being a fake shark.
Ainsley: You know for a guy called Wade Moor, he sure weighed less, didn't he?
William: PFFFFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAGAGA! THAT'S HILARIOUS. HA! HA! IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE HE'S A MIDGET! EHEHEHEHE.
William continued laughing uncontrollably before suddenly stopping after 30 seconds. The sudden stop was weird and confused Ainsley, who was extremely pleased with the praise he was getting.
Ainsley: What happened?
William raised his head slowly, twitching his right eye and not making eye contact.
William: I know who my opponent is.
Ainsley was startled. He knew who William's opponent was and quickly reached into his pockets.
Ainsley: Oh I came prepared for this bitch.
Ainsley pulled out a pair of ear defenders.
William: It's oblivion.
Ainsley nodded at William, completely unable to hear what he was saying.
William: You wanna know what I think Obliivon is?
Ainsley nodded some more pretending to hear him.
William: I THINK HE'S A FUCKING DOG SHIT EATING, CATCUS FUCKING, VOMIT SWALLOWING, FACE EATING, TREE HUGGING, DARKNESS MASTURBATING, FUCKASSSHITDOGCUNTTITSDICKHEADFEETSHITASSFECKCATSHITFUCK-STICKLE! AND I FUCKING HATE HIIIIIIIM!!! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!
Ainsley's plan had failed miserably As he heard everything William said, more importantly how loud it was, he could feel some blood dripping from his ears.
Ainsley: Why Do you even care so much what'd he even do?
William: He bit my face!! MY FAAAAACE!
Ainsley: Yeah and he also beat up Lillith, who we beat to get the Internet Championship.
William: YEAH WEL-......
William paused for a moment. He thought about Oblivion biting his face. Then he thought about Psychopomp trying to throw him off a scaffold, Wade Moor trying to drown him and Jason Price trying to feed him to a Rabid Bear. Ainsley was right, there was a lot of different people to blame for everything that goes wrong ever.
William sat silently for a moment and paused. He pulled put his phone and checked his Twitter, he also checked Oblivions Twitter. Oblivion had called him fat.
It was that moment that William remembered why everything that was wrong in the world was Oblivions fault.
William: HE FUCKING CALLED ME FAT! I'M NOT FAT AINSLEY! HE'S A ASS MUNCHING, METH SMOKIN-
William continued on for another 20 minutes ranting about Oblivion. He had been attacked by a bear and a Shark and witnessed Samuel Jackson attack said shark with a knife. He was ready to win.
