Hash Smoke and Funyun Dust
Apr 12, 2017 20:33:54 GMT -5
John Rabid, Salem Shepard, and 1 more like this
Post by Kaz on Apr 12, 2017 20:33:54 GMT -5
Poon Force One aviated above the Baltic Ocean on that eco-friendly tip – no worries Denmark. You goin' through some shit already, and The Poondock Saints can accommodate your every need. Us young niggas gotta stick together, y'all heard? Otherwise them world super powers like Dangel Trunk and Vladdy Daddy Pootang would crush us with their fascist iron fisting mechanisms, for reals. Nobody likes to see a nigga succeeding, just behind bars, street shit.
But yet, we rose above these conditions set forth for us and came out ahead of the curve. We give the rules the middle finger – which is why we're on the way in this motherfawkin' airship to help you witcha goblin problem – and we ain't talking Katherine Pheonix. Generally manageable problem in contrast to the shit-nado we were heading into. Them undead mothersuckers were raising from their Godfather Damn graves all over again, and the United Nations cut off all foreign ties to Denmark...
Kaz checked his weapons as his vessel approached it's target. A hologram image of Dr. Remus Micayle assimilated in front of Kaz, clipboard in hand.
Dr. Remus Micayle: Gear check Mr. Mazy, everything aboard was in order I take it?
He opened the chamber of his pistol before holstering it on his right thigh pouch.
Kaz Mazy: Everythin' seems to be functioning properly, cher. I'm only missing one th...
Before Kaz could finish his sentence, a thin metal pedestal rose from the center of the floor. A katana with a worn scabbard was fashioned neatly up and down it's carrier. Kaz touched his hand to the blade and thoughts immediately rushed his ever expanding mind.
Several Months Ago...
The bunchies of munchies were layed out before Kaz Mazy as he prepared to watch the latest WCF event. The metallic flick of the lighter signaled the games were about to begin as he took a massive rip from his homemade glass bong – dubbed The Lubricatuh Twist, for it left you REGULUH nigs knocked TF out, but not this THICK made man. Not on your motherfawkin' life, son.
Kaz normally watched every opportunity he could, given he wasn't running training out of his wrestling gym in the Poondocks, just to check the lay of the land, but something else compelled him to watch this particular evening. A cryptic tweet from his best friend, Crow McMorris, that he needed the best linguist in Poon Guinea to decipher because he'd be motherfawked if he even tried to read that nonsense. At the end of the day, all it said was:
This was very different from his usual texts and tweets. “Got any bud?” and “Where the cheetos at?” were the usual fair...but this one was very different. This one gave Kazward the old goosefreckles, his nigga, yes it did. Also, McMorris could get fucked because he promised if he went back to WCF, he would give his boy Kazro the old fuckin' ringaling. Kaz's curiosity ran parallel with his anger, and it was only a matter of time before he would return to the DUB and slap the taste out of Yung McMorris' mouth for being a dickhead...
But tonight, he would watch.
Tonight, he would never forget.
And in a Poonglorious Kush and Funyun dust haze, it happened. Crow McMorris' music hit and he showed his face on screen...
Only Kaz knew, he could see it in his eyes.
Kaz Mazy: That's not fawkin' Crow.
The katana grip felt firm in his hand as he sheathed it behind his back, for use in the immediate future.
Dr. Remus Micayle: I never forget, Young Thicknezz.
Kaz Mazy: Thank you, Dr. Micayle. You've been like a son to me.
Remus Micayle chuckled at the youngsters brazen sense of humor.
Dr. Remus Micayle: You're talking like you're not coming back.
It was Kaz's turn to chuckle.
Kaz Mazy: We have to accept it as an option, Dr. Micayle. Look, if I don't make it out of here cher, could you tell Sophia and Emily that...
Dr. Remus Micayle: You can tell them yourself. My calculations put survival odds at a rousing 4.766666666666 percentile. You've survived worse than that. Also, you have HIM this time.
Kaz Mazy: I'd prefer to forget tha' actually.
Dr. Remus Micayle: It's wise man's folly to not exhaust every advantage.
Kaz Mazy: Who fawkin' came up with that?
Dr. Remus Micayle. Me. Just now. You're welcome.
Kaz Mazy: Thanks. Remind me to send you a nice card.
Dr. Remus Micayle: I'll hold you up to it. We're coming in hot on the red zone, are you ready for deployment?
Kaz cracked the knuckles on his left hand and spun the hydraulics out on his robotic fist before answering.
Kaz Mazy: Like Assamalamadingdong on that chlorine gas piece, famz.
Micayle cleared his throat.
Kaz Mazy: Too soon?
Dr. Remus Micayle: Not soon enough, actually. I was starting to worry about you.
And in the back of his mind, Kaz was beginning to worry as well.
But yet, we rose above these conditions set forth for us and came out ahead of the curve. We give the rules the middle finger – which is why we're on the way in this motherfawkin' airship to help you witcha goblin problem – and we ain't talking Katherine Pheonix. Generally manageable problem in contrast to the shit-nado we were heading into. Them undead mothersuckers were raising from their Godfather Damn graves all over again, and the United Nations cut off all foreign ties to Denmark...
Kaz checked his weapons as his vessel approached it's target. A hologram image of Dr. Remus Micayle assimilated in front of Kaz, clipboard in hand.
Dr. Remus Micayle: Gear check Mr. Mazy, everything aboard was in order I take it?
He opened the chamber of his pistol before holstering it on his right thigh pouch.
Kaz Mazy: Everythin' seems to be functioning properly, cher. I'm only missing one th...
Before Kaz could finish his sentence, a thin metal pedestal rose from the center of the floor. A katana with a worn scabbard was fashioned neatly up and down it's carrier. Kaz touched his hand to the blade and thoughts immediately rushed his ever expanding mind.
Several Months Ago...
The bunchies of munchies were layed out before Kaz Mazy as he prepared to watch the latest WCF event. The metallic flick of the lighter signaled the games were about to begin as he took a massive rip from his homemade glass bong – dubbed The Lubricatuh Twist, for it left you REGULUH nigs knocked TF out, but not this THICK made man. Not on your motherfawkin' life, son.
Kaz normally watched every opportunity he could, given he wasn't running training out of his wrestling gym in the Poondocks, just to check the lay of the land, but something else compelled him to watch this particular evening. A cryptic tweet from his best friend, Crow McMorris, that he needed the best linguist in Poon Guinea to decipher because he'd be motherfawked if he even tried to read that nonsense. At the end of the day, all it said was:
“Watch tonight. You'll never forget it.”
This was very different from his usual texts and tweets. “Got any bud?” and “Where the cheetos at?” were the usual fair...but this one was very different. This one gave Kazward the old goosefreckles, his nigga, yes it did. Also, McMorris could get fucked because he promised if he went back to WCF, he would give his boy Kazro the old fuckin' ringaling. Kaz's curiosity ran parallel with his anger, and it was only a matter of time before he would return to the DUB and slap the taste out of Yung McMorris' mouth for being a dickhead...
But tonight, he would watch.
Tonight, he would never forget.
And in a Poonglorious Kush and Funyun dust haze, it happened. Crow McMorris' music hit and he showed his face on screen...
Only Kaz knew, he could see it in his eyes.
Kaz Mazy: That's not fawkin' Crow.
Present Time
The katana grip felt firm in his hand as he sheathed it behind his back, for use in the immediate future.
Dr. Remus Micayle: I never forget, Young Thicknezz.
Kaz Mazy: Thank you, Dr. Micayle. You've been like a son to me.
Remus Micayle chuckled at the youngsters brazen sense of humor.
Dr. Remus Micayle: You're talking like you're not coming back.
It was Kaz's turn to chuckle.
Kaz Mazy: We have to accept it as an option, Dr. Micayle. Look, if I don't make it out of here cher, could you tell Sophia and Emily that...
Dr. Remus Micayle: You can tell them yourself. My calculations put survival odds at a rousing 4.766666666666 percentile. You've survived worse than that. Also, you have HIM this time.
Kaz Mazy: I'd prefer to forget tha' actually.
Dr. Remus Micayle: It's wise man's folly to not exhaust every advantage.
Kaz Mazy: Who fawkin' came up with that?
Dr. Remus Micayle. Me. Just now. You're welcome.
Kaz Mazy: Thanks. Remind me to send you a nice card.
Dr. Remus Micayle: I'll hold you up to it. We're coming in hot on the red zone, are you ready for deployment?
Kaz cracked the knuckles on his left hand and spun the hydraulics out on his robotic fist before answering.
Kaz Mazy: Like Assamalamadingdong on that chlorine gas piece, famz.
Micayle cleared his throat.
Kaz Mazy: Too soon?
Dr. Remus Micayle: Not soon enough, actually. I was starting to worry about you.
And in the back of his mind, Kaz was beginning to worry as well.
