Post by madddogg on Apr 20, 2007 23:58:08 GMT -5
"Don't worry, boudle. This is going to be perfect."
Logan looks Madd Dogg over. He's tossed him into an exceptionally tacky and mismatched tux . The pants are far too short, showing off one white and one yellow sock, tossed on over Dogg's wrestling tights. The jacket has a rip underneath the right armpit and the buttons are barely hanging on, as the string holding them on is stretched to the breaking point. A hideous green and purple striped vest and pink polka dotted tie complete the awful ensemble. Looking him over, Logan pulls out a package, not quite in Dogg's view, pulls out a small piece of candy and pops it in his mouth. Savoring the candy, Logan gives Dogg an approving nod.
"You look great. Well, great considering I spent the last 35 bucks in your account to toss together this suit at good will. But hey, don't worry about it. You look...well, you could look worse. I'm not really sure how but, just take my word for it. You're gonna knock her dead tiger."
"You're always looking out for me Logan. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd probably find some sugar daddy somewhere. But hey, enough about that, I got you something. She'll love it."
Logan grabs Dogg's right arm and thrusts an old bouquet of flowers into them. The once garish paper is now waterlogged and torn, clinging in little pieces to wilted, half dead flowers that at one time could've been daisies and lilies. Decay has set in so far with the rest that they are little more than shrivelled brown husks on bend over stems...unrecognizable.
"So, what do you think?"
"Um, Logan, why are they all wilted? They appear dead."
"No, no they're not dead, Madd Dogg. Take a sniff. I'm sure they smell lovely."
Dogg leans down, not thinking to move hs arm. After a few seconds he straightens back up.
"Most have no scent. The brown ones smell like potpouri. I'm pretty sure they're dead."
"Um, well, they were the cheapest, because they were so old. But um, hell, Madd Dogg, she IS a goth chick. They're not really into fresh pretty roses and other nice flowers. They're all about death and decay. So, these are...um...just what...she'll like! Yea!" He takes a couple steps away, muttering under his breath. "Yea, that's it. Not that I'm a cheap bastard or lazy or anything..."
For several long moments Dogg stares at the flowers, then looks to Logan. "That makes sense."
"See, big guy! I told you. I know what girls like. Watch this."
Logan walks up to two girls sitting at one of the patio tables. He takes them both in, two fine specimines, couldn't be more than 18 or 19, tops. One clad in a tight pink top and baggy jeans, the other in a yellow sun dress. Licking his lips, Logan stares at the two until pink top notices him.
"Um, excuse me, what are you doing?"
"Hey ladies, I thought you might want to bang a true Legend. I'm WCF wrestler, and I just know we'd make a great threesome."
"Oh gross old dude!" Pink top takes her expensive froo-froo drink and throws the contents right into Logan's face. "Get lost creep!"
Logan walks back to Dogg, wiping his face. Dogg cocks his head quizzically to the side.
"Why did that pretty girl throw her drink in your face?"
"I think she was overcome. You see...actually nevermind. It's dating ritual stuff, pretty complicated. You wouldn't understand. Let's focus on you. Not me. Oh, I think your little vixen approaches."
A beat up Nova pulls into the curb far too fast, taking out a parking meter, and stopping inches from hitting Madd Dogg. Logan dives away, but Madd Dogg remains in place, arm half outstretched with the flowers. The front passenger door flies open, Joe falling out.
"You crazy bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?"
Logan rubs up, grabbing Joe by the collar.
"What are you doing? You almost ran over my play thing. He may not be much now, but I plan to make him useful to me. And how useful will he be if he's dead?"
"Dude, it's not my fault. Crazy bitch started digging her nails into my neck, telling me to pull over, to let her go. When I wouldn't, and tried to fight her off, she covered my eyes. Started laughing. She's out of her damn mind."
Logan smacks him in the forehead. "Yea, duh! I'm trying to get Madd Dogg to fall in love here! It's not like he's going to do it with a normal chick. Joe, wake up. Homicidal maniac! What did you expect? Of course she's crazy." He lets Joe go and shakes his head incredibly. "I don't know about you sometimes Joe."
Dogg walks over wordlessly and opens the back passanger door, stretching out his hand as would any southern gentleman, waiting for a fair lass to accept his helping hand. However, our lovely goth chick is not some "fair lass. She slinks out of the ruined door, glancing daggers at Dogg for his gesture. As she moves to the sidewalk, he remains there, hand outstretched.
"I don't need your fucking help, buddy. What is wrong with you? Act normal for a change."
Logan slides over, whispering into Dogg's ear. "Ain't she a keeper? I think she likes you." Dogg looks back at Logan, an almost confused look coming into his eyes. "Go on, big guy. Give her the flowers."
Snapping his arm out, Dogg hands Sandy the flowers, crumpled leaves flying off the droopy stem and all over her.
"Gee, dead flowers. Thanks. Where'd you get these? Out of a dumpster?"
Indignant, Logan speaks up, "Psht. They came from a Schnucks!" As everyone turns to look at him, he draws back a little. "I mean, I assume they did. Madd Dogg got them after all."
"Well, thanks for the 'effort', 'Madd Dogg'."
She grabs the flowers and tosses them into the gutter. Eyes wide, she glares at him, daring him to do something. After a couple of seconds, Logan elbows Dogg in the ribs and hands him a small heart shaped box.
"Here, boudle. I bought these for you. All girls like chocolates. Go on."
Dogg takes it, looking it over as if he's never seen anything like it before, then hands it to Sandy. Scowling, she snatches the box, and rips the lid off, tossing it onto the trunk of the car. Shuffling around mostly empty wrappers, she finds a couple of nuggets, and looks back up scornfully.
"Gee, three whole piece of chocolate. Great."
Joe grabs Logan's wrist. "Dude. Cmon."
"What? I was hungry. You were supposed to be here 45 minutes ago. I started snacking."
Sandy pops her gum for attention.. Logan can't help but get a small chuckle out of her. Wearing her normal trashy clothes, it looks like Jor threw on a black skirt over her tattered jeans, still visible beneath, to try and make her a tad more presentable. Her makeup is half done, and the lipstick smeared unevenly.
With a frustrated little gesture, "Whatever. Can we just get this crap over with? I'm tired, and you're making me miss my favorite show."
Logan is the first to move, "Of course, Sandy. Of course. Dogg, get the door for her."
In compliance, Dogg moves over and opens the door, sweeping his free arm in front of him in an over dramatic display of welcome. Sandy rolls her eyes and walks past, "Loser."
Logan elbows Dogg, "Madd Dogg, Say something romantic."
Looking in towards her, he shouts "Something romantic."
"Oh, boudle. This is going to be a long night."
Logan looks Madd Dogg over. He's tossed him into an exceptionally tacky and mismatched tux . The pants are far too short, showing off one white and one yellow sock, tossed on over Dogg's wrestling tights. The jacket has a rip underneath the right armpit and the buttons are barely hanging on, as the string holding them on is stretched to the breaking point. A hideous green and purple striped vest and pink polka dotted tie complete the awful ensemble. Looking him over, Logan pulls out a package, not quite in Dogg's view, pulls out a small piece of candy and pops it in his mouth. Savoring the candy, Logan gives Dogg an approving nod.
"You look great. Well, great considering I spent the last 35 bucks in your account to toss together this suit at good will. But hey, don't worry about it. You look...well, you could look worse. I'm not really sure how but, just take my word for it. You're gonna knock her dead tiger."
"You're always looking out for me Logan. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd probably find some sugar daddy somewhere. But hey, enough about that, I got you something. She'll love it."
Logan grabs Dogg's right arm and thrusts an old bouquet of flowers into them. The once garish paper is now waterlogged and torn, clinging in little pieces to wilted, half dead flowers that at one time could've been daisies and lilies. Decay has set in so far with the rest that they are little more than shrivelled brown husks on bend over stems...unrecognizable.
"So, what do you think?"
"Um, Logan, why are they all wilted? They appear dead."
"No, no they're not dead, Madd Dogg. Take a sniff. I'm sure they smell lovely."
Dogg leans down, not thinking to move hs arm. After a few seconds he straightens back up.
"Most have no scent. The brown ones smell like potpouri. I'm pretty sure they're dead."
"Um, well, they were the cheapest, because they were so old. But um, hell, Madd Dogg, she IS a goth chick. They're not really into fresh pretty roses and other nice flowers. They're all about death and decay. So, these are...um...just what...she'll like! Yea!" He takes a couple steps away, muttering under his breath. "Yea, that's it. Not that I'm a cheap bastard or lazy or anything..."
For several long moments Dogg stares at the flowers, then looks to Logan. "That makes sense."
"See, big guy! I told you. I know what girls like. Watch this."
Logan walks up to two girls sitting at one of the patio tables. He takes them both in, two fine specimines, couldn't be more than 18 or 19, tops. One clad in a tight pink top and baggy jeans, the other in a yellow sun dress. Licking his lips, Logan stares at the two until pink top notices him.
"Um, excuse me, what are you doing?"
"Hey ladies, I thought you might want to bang a true Legend. I'm WCF wrestler, and I just know we'd make a great threesome."
"Oh gross old dude!" Pink top takes her expensive froo-froo drink and throws the contents right into Logan's face. "Get lost creep!"
Logan walks back to Dogg, wiping his face. Dogg cocks his head quizzically to the side.
"Why did that pretty girl throw her drink in your face?"
"I think she was overcome. You see...actually nevermind. It's dating ritual stuff, pretty complicated. You wouldn't understand. Let's focus on you. Not me. Oh, I think your little vixen approaches."
A beat up Nova pulls into the curb far too fast, taking out a parking meter, and stopping inches from hitting Madd Dogg. Logan dives away, but Madd Dogg remains in place, arm half outstretched with the flowers. The front passenger door flies open, Joe falling out.
"You crazy bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?"
Logan rubs up, grabbing Joe by the collar.
"What are you doing? You almost ran over my play thing. He may not be much now, but I plan to make him useful to me. And how useful will he be if he's dead?"
"Dude, it's not my fault. Crazy bitch started digging her nails into my neck, telling me to pull over, to let her go. When I wouldn't, and tried to fight her off, she covered my eyes. Started laughing. She's out of her damn mind."
Logan smacks him in the forehead. "Yea, duh! I'm trying to get Madd Dogg to fall in love here! It's not like he's going to do it with a normal chick. Joe, wake up. Homicidal maniac! What did you expect? Of course she's crazy." He lets Joe go and shakes his head incredibly. "I don't know about you sometimes Joe."
Dogg walks over wordlessly and opens the back passanger door, stretching out his hand as would any southern gentleman, waiting for a fair lass to accept his helping hand. However, our lovely goth chick is not some "fair lass. She slinks out of the ruined door, glancing daggers at Dogg for his gesture. As she moves to the sidewalk, he remains there, hand outstretched.
"I don't need your fucking help, buddy. What is wrong with you? Act normal for a change."
Logan slides over, whispering into Dogg's ear. "Ain't she a keeper? I think she likes you." Dogg looks back at Logan, an almost confused look coming into his eyes. "Go on, big guy. Give her the flowers."
Snapping his arm out, Dogg hands Sandy the flowers, crumpled leaves flying off the droopy stem and all over her.
"Gee, dead flowers. Thanks. Where'd you get these? Out of a dumpster?"
Indignant, Logan speaks up, "Psht. They came from a Schnucks!" As everyone turns to look at him, he draws back a little. "I mean, I assume they did. Madd Dogg got them after all."
"Well, thanks for the 'effort', 'Madd Dogg'."
She grabs the flowers and tosses them into the gutter. Eyes wide, she glares at him, daring him to do something. After a couple of seconds, Logan elbows Dogg in the ribs and hands him a small heart shaped box.
"Here, boudle. I bought these for you. All girls like chocolates. Go on."
Dogg takes it, looking it over as if he's never seen anything like it before, then hands it to Sandy. Scowling, she snatches the box, and rips the lid off, tossing it onto the trunk of the car. Shuffling around mostly empty wrappers, she finds a couple of nuggets, and looks back up scornfully.
"Gee, three whole piece of chocolate. Great."
Joe grabs Logan's wrist. "Dude. Cmon."
"What? I was hungry. You were supposed to be here 45 minutes ago. I started snacking."
Sandy pops her gum for attention.. Logan can't help but get a small chuckle out of her. Wearing her normal trashy clothes, it looks like Jor threw on a black skirt over her tattered jeans, still visible beneath, to try and make her a tad more presentable. Her makeup is half done, and the lipstick smeared unevenly.
With a frustrated little gesture, "Whatever. Can we just get this crap over with? I'm tired, and you're making me miss my favorite show."
Logan is the first to move, "Of course, Sandy. Of course. Dogg, get the door for her."
In compliance, Dogg moves over and opens the door, sweeping his free arm in front of him in an over dramatic display of welcome. Sandy rolls her eyes and walks past, "Loser."
Logan elbows Dogg, "Madd Dogg, Say something romantic."
Looking in towards her, he shouts "Something romantic."
"Oh, boudle. This is going to be a long night."
