You Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too
Jan 13, 2017 15:11:03 GMT -5
6ix God, Wade Moor, and 2 more like this
Post by Alex Richards on Jan 13, 2017 15:11:03 GMT -5
Alex Richards Voice Over: Friday the 13th.. It means many things to many people. For children Friday the 13th is a day of bad luck. In Port Dover, Ontario, Canada on Friday the 13th hundreds of thousands of people enter the small town for the largest single day biker rally in Canada. On television Friday the 13th featured Micki Foster and Ryan Dallion hunting down antiques cursed by the devil himself. And in the movies of course Friday the 13th was Camp Crystal Lake, Jason Voorhees, and his infamous hockey mask. He terrorized the likes of Corey Feldman. But that.. that is not what Friday the 13th truly means. No, any wrestler knows the true meaning of Friday the 13th. There is only one thing that truly matters about Friday the 13th. And that's Corey Black's always star studded, often gory and ultra violent wrestling super show. You know what makes 13th special? The fact that wrestlers get the chance to settle grudges that might be been eating at them for years. They get the chance to compete in matches they only dreamed of. For every wrestler who ever stepped foot in a WCF ring there's always a chance they can return for 13. I'll bet a lot of you never thought you would see me again did you? It's been over a year since I last appeared in the WCF. The real question is, what motivated me to return? Why I am back for one night only at Friday the 13th? It's been over a year and I haven't even thought of returning. So what happened recently to change my mind? For you to understand that you need a little history lesson. So it's time for a trip to the Hall of Pantheon.
The camera pans on what appears to be a pitch black room. White spotlights light up to show the various displays as they are mentioned.
Alex Richards Voice Over: But who would be in the Hall of Pantheon? The first world champion of Pantheon.. Johnny Fly of course.
A large life sized model of Johnny Fly eating his beloved Hot Fries is suddenly illuminated.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Of course we must pay tribute to some of the founding members. Like Polar Phantasm.
A model of the Phantasm with his wife Nightmare lights up.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Bobby Cairo!
An image of the Godfather with his tag team partner, Kaz Mazy during their Poondock Saints title reign is brought to life.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Steve Orbit!
Steve Orbit is highlighted with a few of his favorite ladies of the night. Or at least the ones who happened to be there when the picture was taken.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Jeff Purse!
We see Jeff Purse along with Alex Richards in Dr. Stella Montgomery's office clearly getting the moves put on him by the pervy doctor.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Jay Omega!
We see Jay Omega celebrating with the WCF world championship post WAR
Alex Richards Voice Over: I guess... Jayson Price
To “tribute” Jayson is a single IV bag.
Alex Richards Voice Over: And Finally... Creeping Death... Corey Black!
We see an tribute of a young Creeping Death covering Nate Nytro for his first world title win.
Then the world is suddenly flooded with light. The screen appears to ripple. But then the reality of it sets in as a large black velvet tarp is tossed aside. The increased lighting was the house lights in the bar where this tribute is actually being held. One man steps out from behind the now discarded curtain. Were you a big fan of the WCF in 2014 and 2015. Then you would remember the man you see before you. The self proclaimed Uncle Fester look a like (although he actually looks a lot more like Tor Johnson) stands before you. With a few major changes that might be hard to spot. First off Alex's smile, it's not existent. The normally jolly Archduke of Mass Confusion wears a much more serious expression then he did back in the day. Secondly he carries himself with a lot more confidence then he did during his prior run in the WCF. The younger, less experienced Alex Richards is gone. This man who stands before you is battle tested and has a belief that he will be the winner of any war he's involved in.
Alex Richards: That's not the actual Pantheon hall of fame. Such a place doesn't exist. Because such a place doesn't need to exist. You want to see the Pantheon hall of fame? Visit the WCF hall of fame because Pantheon IS the WCF. No, that hall of Pantheon exists only in my mind. It included everyone I would consider a legend of Pantheon. Once upon a time I hoped to be in the hall of Pantheon. I hoped to be one of the greats. But I wasn't worthy of it.
Alex pauses.
Alex Richards: At the time. This week, at XIII I get to come full circle. My last match in the WCF was against Johnny Rabid. It was a match for the tag team championships. Jeff Purse and myself wanted to strike a blow against the Beach Krew and take the tag team titles away from them. But we didn't get the job done. We failed. After that match I went to Seth Lerch and I resigned. I retired from the WCF. I would have left forever. You know why? Because if I couldn't beat Rabid and Kemp I didn't deserve to call myself a member of Pantheon. I didn't get pinned in that match, neither did Jeff. The third team in the match Doc Henry's team ate the pinfall. It didn't matter. If a couple of puissants like Kyle Kemp and Johnny Rabid got the better of me I wasn't representing Pantheon. I wasn't representing the best of the best. That's how important being a member of Pantheon was to me. I wasn't going to embarrass the group with failure. I didn't want to hurt Pantheon's legacy by showing them as anything less then a dominant force. I dominated the internet division. THAT'S NOT PANTHEON! Pantheon are kings of wrestling not kings of the mid card! I respected the people who came before me too much to damage the name they worked so hard for. If you can't do something right, don't do it at all.
Alex smiles the briefest of smiles.
Alex Richards: You know out of that list of people I said were the hall of Pantheon there is one name that doesn't really fit. Founding member, Bobby Cairo. He was barely in Pantheon for any period of time. But when you think of all time greats.. you think of Bobby Cairo. He backdoored his way into Pantheon history. You know maybe that's a role model I can emulate. Bobby Cairo did so much outside of Pantheon he added to the legacy of the group. Maybe I can do something big enough to remembered for what I did for Pantheon. And that... that's why I'm back.
Alex walks off scene and returning pushing a cart containing one absolutely massive coffee cake.
Alex Richards: You know almost all of those people I mentioned would be there doing the exact same thing I'm about to do at XIII. They apparently weren't invited to XIII. Or maybe they figured Pantheon was too far beyond help. But what can I say I'm an optimist. I'm sure some of you people are wondering.. what's with the cake? That's the problem. Corey Black. He probably knows the meaning behind the cake. But my opponent Johnny Rabid, not a fucking chance. That's the problem. Johnny Rabid has no respect for Pantheon. He doesn't think of what he can do for Pantheon, he doesn't think about what he owes Pantheon for the opportunity they gave him. All he thinks is how much can I squeeze out of Pantheon. How dry can I bleed them?
Alex Richards: I was happy Johnny Rabid. I was competing in another wrestling federation, I was world champion last year. I know that doesn't mean anything here. But where's your world title Rabid?
Alex snorts
Alex Richards: Yeah.. and you never will have one. But the fact remains I could have stayed away. But I had to come back.. because I owe a debt to Pantheon. And when I see this current group.. they are not fucking Pantheon. When I saw them on Slam using the numbers advantage to assault people, cheating their way against opponents real Pantheon would have fucking crushed.. I had to resist the urge to destroy my television set! What happened? What the fuck happened to Pantheon? I remember seeing Corey Black call himself the Pantheon, saying he didn't need anyone else to be Pantheon because he WAS pantheon. You may have noticed I never said a word against that. In fact I even returned to the WCF twitter verse in order to congratulate Corey on regaining the world championship. You know why? Because Corey Black is the heart of Pantheon! He feels Pantheon needs no members besides himself.. I can't argue that. I can't claim the five time world champion can't represent Pantheon on all his own if he wants to. But then he formed a new Pantheon.. but there was a problem with it. Jayson Price, the most selfish, least team oriented member of Pantheon ever.. he became the starting point for this new Pantheon. After him each member became a worse, and worse choice.
Alex stops speaking, almost shaking with rage before composing himself and continuing.
Alex Richards: So why Johnny Rabid? Why you? Why did I choose you. Because as far as I'm concerned you're the most corrupt, the most vile, the least deserving out of all of them to call yourself Pantheon. You aren't Pantheon at all.. you're Bitch Krew through and through. You even showed up and took over the Beach Krew. You didn't even start that for yourself. You just took it away. Who's to say you won't do the same with Pantheon? Corey Black isn't a young wrestler anymore. Someday he's going to retire. Someday soon from what I heard. Old wrestlers being what they are, I wouldn't believe it until I see it. But a man like you Rabid.. you're the type of guy who thinks what I can get out of this? All those legends, all that respect.. you can take it all away. By taking over Pantheon. You wouldn't earn leadership of Pantheon like previous people did. Johnny Fly didn't lead Pantheon because he said so, he did it because everyone in Pantheon respected him, respected his leadership. He was a natural leader. Ditto for Corey Black. But then there's you. You would run Pantheon into the ground chasing glory only for yourself. I'm not going to let that happen. But as I already said earlier, I'm the guy who left Pantheon because I thought I wasn't good enough. So how I am not going to beat Johnny Rabid but beat him to the extend that it proves my point? You want to know that.. you need to take a look at the recent life of Alex Richards.
The scene changes. No longer are we in a bar, now we appear to be in a seedy Chinese Buffet. The type of place where you pay $5.99 and get all the chicken balls you can handle. Alex Richards looks at the buffet and shakes his head.
Alex Richards: I'm not back in the WCF and at XIII in order to eat Chinese food. That won ton soup looks delicious but that's not why I'm here at all.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag, the same doctor's bag he's had his entire wrestling career and pulls out..
Alex Richards: A drinking boot. Filled to the brim with Zim-Quila.
Alex returns it to the bag.
Alex Richards: I'm not here to drink either. Eat, drink, be merry. You remember all of those things about Alex Richards don't you? Fake title belts made out of rusty bed springs, stealing medicine from hospitals.. YOLO ADRIAN.. I GOT IT... BOOOOOOM.. Fuck all of that shit.
Alex smiles. This smile is not fake at all though. As he watches as a pretty young woman wearing a black lace dress walks in the direction of his voice. A chocolate lab leading the way. The woman with the exception of wearing dark sunglasses is the splitting image of Elvira from 80s television. Because you know.. that's her pic base and all.
Alex Richards: Rebecca Thatch. She's not just out of my league. She's leagues out of my league. There's one hell of a story about how I came to date the beautiful blind chick. It involved one hell of a battle with the yakuza. See, they wanted to kidnap me but they figured she was easier so they snatch her and... Say, you want to tell the story Becky?
Rebecca smiles.
Rebecca Thatch: Absolutely not.
Alex grins again, and this time the couple kiss.
Alex Richards: Because that's not what any of this is about.
Rebecca turns and begins to walk away. The scene jumps forward again. Now we see Alex next to his massive souped up SUV, The Strange Rover.
Alex Richards: Back in the Pantheon days I used to live in here. Plenty of room, especially considering what Nicky Tesla did to it, runs on Zim-Quila just like I do, and if you have somewhere you have to be on a moment's notice you're already on the road. Even has it's own chauffeur.
The door swings open, and a skinny, tall beanpole of a man with long, black hair grins at Alex.. and flips him off.
Man: Chauffeur? Fuck you! More like a babysitter.
Alex Richards: My brother Shaun Zach. I've been screwing with him for years. Getting us into sticky situations and then just barely getting out of them.
SZR: Without my help you would have been screwed years ago.
Alex Richards: And without me you wouldn't have any good stories to tell.
SZR: Okay that's true.
Alex Richards: Speaking of which... we're driving to Alaska.. we're gonna build the world's largest snowman dress it up like Johnny Rabid, and then destroy it with the world's largest blow dryer. You in?
SZR: Not a chance.
Alex Richards: Yeah.. me neither.. because that's not what I'm here for.
And with that Alex is back in the bar.
Alex Richards: That's the difference. That's the secret. That's why since I left the WCF, I traveled the world. Won world titles, won tag team titles, even won a world champion of the year annual award. Because I learned when you are in that ring, everything is deadly serious. Sure, I can still joke around in real life but when I look at my opponent the jokes stop. You aren't getting the fun loving Archduke of Mass Confusion who couldn't win the tag titles from the fucking Beach Krew. You are getting the guy who's destroyed everyone the wrestling world has put in front of him all year long. And I can't think of someone who deserves it more then you.. Rabid. You smug fucking bastard.
Alex Richards: Because I have evolved. The results speak for themselves. My actions speak for themselves. And so do yours. You're exactly the same man I saw and was disgusted by the moment you joined the WCF. Why do you think every single week I challenged the Beach Krew.. over and over again? I wanted to destroy the Beach Krew.. and you Johnny Rabid, once and for all. But I never got the chance. And look what happened? The Beach Krew took over Pantheon. Corey Black.. Jayson Price.. how the fuck did you let that happen? How in the fuck did you let the fuck boys become Pantheon? Johnny Rabid.. out of all of them.. I respected you the least.
Alex Richards: People like Kyle Kemp.. Sandy Coconutz.. Jim Thuggin.. they were jokes but everyone knew they were jokes. They are basically the wrestling versions of Paris Hilton. Going on tv just to be famous. But then there's you.. Rabid.. you were even worse then them because you had their same motivations.. but you were smarter. You declared yourself the leader of the Beach Krew.. but you weren't the real talent. Wade Moor won the world championship. You never did. Jared Holmes won Final Destination. What did you fucking do? You posited yourself as the leader so everyone else's hard work made you look good.
Alex roars the following statement.
Alex Richards: NOW YOU'RE FUCKING DOING IT AGAIN! DIFFERENT FUCKING STABLE! SAME FUCKING RESULTS! AND IT FUCKING MAKES ME SICK! LITERALLY MAKES ME SICK! Look at everyone in Pantheon.. look at how fucking much better they are then you.. Rabid. And that's the way you fucking like it.. isn't it Rabid? I joined Pantheon not because I wanted to coast on what other people did in Pantheon but because I wanted to carve out my own legacy within the group! You don't want to do that. You're in Pantheon simply because it's another notch in your belt. Now forever you can say you were a member of the legendary Pantheon. You have to pay for that. I will be the one who makes you pay for it. I can't take your membership away from you. But I can make you wish you never had the bad idea to join. Now I don't like a lot of the people in Pantheon. But I can't argue with their results. Corey Black five time world champion. Jayson Price, two time world champion. Joey Flash three time world champion. All of those men either hall of fame or future hall of fame. Wade Moor, former world champion. Even though I still think it's bull the way he won the title from Jay Omega. But results are what matter. Jared Holmes and David Sanchez both won the final destination match, meaning they both could have been world champion at any moment. How about you Johnny Rabid? Do you appear to be lacking in some way? It's not even the lack of a title. No, that stupid Trios title doesn't count in my mind. Winning the tournament has meaning, winning the title. Who fucking cares? You had shots at the world title and the television title. You won both matches but neither title. So why aren't you going after the gold? Even challenging for the gold? Because you are content. You are content with fucking doing nothing!
Alex slams his hand hard against one of the tables in the bar out of frustration.
Alex Richards: So why does what you do offend me so much? Why is what you're doing Rabid drive me to return to the WCF simply to demolish you? I'll tell you why. Here something everyone knows about me. I have always have partners, I have always been a member of a stable. And I have always been loyal to them. Currently I proudly declare myself a member of the Guardians. I wouldn't dream of turning on them. The Pack.. the pack was like family to me. If any member of the Pack never needed my help all they would have to do is ask and I would be there in a second. As for Pantheon... I am making an appearance in a federation I have no connection with anymore solely to defend their honor. That's how fucking important Pantheon is to me! I'm not even a member anymore! But I still care about their legacy.. I still fucking care what happens to me.. and I still care if snake oil salesman like you Rabid are trying to exploit them! And what I am going to do about it? Gravedigger... eat your heart out.
Alex walks over to the displays from earlier, more specially to the iv bag that was Jayson Price's display. He unzips and... well I bet you can guess what happens next.
Alex Richards: I just pissed in an IV bag and that's nothing! Because you... you.. Pantheon are pissing on your own legacy by letting jackals like Johnny Rabid into your group! If you heard Alex Richards was coming on television and pissing in an IV bag you would think I'm playing a joke right? But it is no joke! The only joke is the value Johnny Rabid adds to Pantheon. Which is actually somehow less then this urine filled bag! I can't change the fact that you're a member of Pantheon Johnny. But what I can do is show what you are really worth to them. When the match is over.. when my hands are raised, when you are laying on the mat.. defeated. Everyone will know the truth. You're not a fighter, you're not a champion, you're not even a team player. You are a leech, and a user Rabid. You add less to Pantheon then someone who stepped away from the group! That's what I am going to show. That's going to be my legacy Johnny, I'm going to expose the imposter, the fraud within Pantheon. I couldn't bring Pantheon another world title. But maybe I can save them from you.
Alex Richards: I'm not the only one who thinks the new standard of Pantheon is fucked. My old tag team partner Jeff Purse, why do you think he's opposing Corey Black? He can't stand what Pantheon has become either. One of the founding members is going against the leader of Pantheon, wanting not only to defeat him. But to open his eyes and make him see what Pantheon has become. Jeff and I aren't tag partners any longer but we both have the same mission this week. I am going to succeed against Johnny Rabid. I hope Jeff does the same against Corey Black. Or fuck maybe Friday October 13 I'll be the one facing Corey Black. Johnny Rabid sure as shit ain't good enough to put me down maybe Creeping Death himself can shut me up. Because he will want to shut me up because what I say is the truth. New Pantheon is not real Pantheon.. they are merely a cancer to wrestling that has taken the Pantheon name. Johnny Rabid, you are merely the first cells that need to be destroyed. That will be destroyed.
Alex returns one last time to the display.. standing right next to the massive coffee cake.
Alex Richards: One of these celebrated the birth of Pantheon. The founding members ate a coffee cake just like this in the middle of the ring. I had another one made.. just in case. To celebrate the rebirth of Pantheon.. real Pantheon without you. Sure, eliminating you from Pantheon Rabid doesn't fix all of it's problems. But hey it's a start. You can only take one step at a time. As a proud member of the Pantheon family.. it would be my pleasure to take the first step. Start making your excuses Rabid, you aren't worthy of Pantheon. I know it.. you know it.. and after XIII everyone will know it. Friday the 13th is the stuff of nightmares for some people. I'll make sure no one knows greater horror on this day then you. Everyone else in Pantheon who is remembered has won the big one. Jeff Purse and Jay Omega won War. Corey Black won five world titles. Johnny Fly and Steve Orbit are so iconic they will be remembered forever by anyone who has so much as heard of wrestling. This is my moment, this is my chance to help purify Pantheon. I will not fail. I will not be denied. Johnny Rabid, your days of sucking the souls and cocks of better wrestlers are over. For you.. this is the end..
Fade To Black
The camera pans on what appears to be a pitch black room. White spotlights light up to show the various displays as they are mentioned.
Alex Richards Voice Over: But who would be in the Hall of Pantheon? The first world champion of Pantheon.. Johnny Fly of course.
A large life sized model of Johnny Fly eating his beloved Hot Fries is suddenly illuminated.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Of course we must pay tribute to some of the founding members. Like Polar Phantasm.
A model of the Phantasm with his wife Nightmare lights up.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Bobby Cairo!
An image of the Godfather with his tag team partner, Kaz Mazy during their Poondock Saints title reign is brought to life.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Steve Orbit!
Steve Orbit is highlighted with a few of his favorite ladies of the night. Or at least the ones who happened to be there when the picture was taken.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Jeff Purse!
We see Jeff Purse along with Alex Richards in Dr. Stella Montgomery's office clearly getting the moves put on him by the pervy doctor.
Alex Richards Voice Over: Jay Omega!
We see Jay Omega celebrating with the WCF world championship post WAR
Alex Richards Voice Over: I guess... Jayson Price
To “tribute” Jayson is a single IV bag.
Alex Richards Voice Over: And Finally... Creeping Death... Corey Black!
We see an tribute of a young Creeping Death covering Nate Nytro for his first world title win.
Then the world is suddenly flooded with light. The screen appears to ripple. But then the reality of it sets in as a large black velvet tarp is tossed aside. The increased lighting was the house lights in the bar where this tribute is actually being held. One man steps out from behind the now discarded curtain. Were you a big fan of the WCF in 2014 and 2015. Then you would remember the man you see before you. The self proclaimed Uncle Fester look a like (although he actually looks a lot more like Tor Johnson) stands before you. With a few major changes that might be hard to spot. First off Alex's smile, it's not existent. The normally jolly Archduke of Mass Confusion wears a much more serious expression then he did back in the day. Secondly he carries himself with a lot more confidence then he did during his prior run in the WCF. The younger, less experienced Alex Richards is gone. This man who stands before you is battle tested and has a belief that he will be the winner of any war he's involved in.
Alex Richards: That's not the actual Pantheon hall of fame. Such a place doesn't exist. Because such a place doesn't need to exist. You want to see the Pantheon hall of fame? Visit the WCF hall of fame because Pantheon IS the WCF. No, that hall of Pantheon exists only in my mind. It included everyone I would consider a legend of Pantheon. Once upon a time I hoped to be in the hall of Pantheon. I hoped to be one of the greats. But I wasn't worthy of it.
Alex pauses.
Alex Richards: At the time. This week, at XIII I get to come full circle. My last match in the WCF was against Johnny Rabid. It was a match for the tag team championships. Jeff Purse and myself wanted to strike a blow against the Beach Krew and take the tag team titles away from them. But we didn't get the job done. We failed. After that match I went to Seth Lerch and I resigned. I retired from the WCF. I would have left forever. You know why? Because if I couldn't beat Rabid and Kemp I didn't deserve to call myself a member of Pantheon. I didn't get pinned in that match, neither did Jeff. The third team in the match Doc Henry's team ate the pinfall. It didn't matter. If a couple of puissants like Kyle Kemp and Johnny Rabid got the better of me I wasn't representing Pantheon. I wasn't representing the best of the best. That's how important being a member of Pantheon was to me. I wasn't going to embarrass the group with failure. I didn't want to hurt Pantheon's legacy by showing them as anything less then a dominant force. I dominated the internet division. THAT'S NOT PANTHEON! Pantheon are kings of wrestling not kings of the mid card! I respected the people who came before me too much to damage the name they worked so hard for. If you can't do something right, don't do it at all.
Alex smiles the briefest of smiles.
Alex Richards: You know out of that list of people I said were the hall of Pantheon there is one name that doesn't really fit. Founding member, Bobby Cairo. He was barely in Pantheon for any period of time. But when you think of all time greats.. you think of Bobby Cairo. He backdoored his way into Pantheon history. You know maybe that's a role model I can emulate. Bobby Cairo did so much outside of Pantheon he added to the legacy of the group. Maybe I can do something big enough to remembered for what I did for Pantheon. And that... that's why I'm back.
Alex walks off scene and returning pushing a cart containing one absolutely massive coffee cake.
Alex Richards: You know almost all of those people I mentioned would be there doing the exact same thing I'm about to do at XIII. They apparently weren't invited to XIII. Or maybe they figured Pantheon was too far beyond help. But what can I say I'm an optimist. I'm sure some of you people are wondering.. what's with the cake? That's the problem. Corey Black. He probably knows the meaning behind the cake. But my opponent Johnny Rabid, not a fucking chance. That's the problem. Johnny Rabid has no respect for Pantheon. He doesn't think of what he can do for Pantheon, he doesn't think about what he owes Pantheon for the opportunity they gave him. All he thinks is how much can I squeeze out of Pantheon. How dry can I bleed them?
Alex Richards: I was happy Johnny Rabid. I was competing in another wrestling federation, I was world champion last year. I know that doesn't mean anything here. But where's your world title Rabid?
Alex snorts
Alex Richards: Yeah.. and you never will have one. But the fact remains I could have stayed away. But I had to come back.. because I owe a debt to Pantheon. And when I see this current group.. they are not fucking Pantheon. When I saw them on Slam using the numbers advantage to assault people, cheating their way against opponents real Pantheon would have fucking crushed.. I had to resist the urge to destroy my television set! What happened? What the fuck happened to Pantheon? I remember seeing Corey Black call himself the Pantheon, saying he didn't need anyone else to be Pantheon because he WAS pantheon. You may have noticed I never said a word against that. In fact I even returned to the WCF twitter verse in order to congratulate Corey on regaining the world championship. You know why? Because Corey Black is the heart of Pantheon! He feels Pantheon needs no members besides himself.. I can't argue that. I can't claim the five time world champion can't represent Pantheon on all his own if he wants to. But then he formed a new Pantheon.. but there was a problem with it. Jayson Price, the most selfish, least team oriented member of Pantheon ever.. he became the starting point for this new Pantheon. After him each member became a worse, and worse choice.
Alex stops speaking, almost shaking with rage before composing himself and continuing.
Alex Richards: So why Johnny Rabid? Why you? Why did I choose you. Because as far as I'm concerned you're the most corrupt, the most vile, the least deserving out of all of them to call yourself Pantheon. You aren't Pantheon at all.. you're Bitch Krew through and through. You even showed up and took over the Beach Krew. You didn't even start that for yourself. You just took it away. Who's to say you won't do the same with Pantheon? Corey Black isn't a young wrestler anymore. Someday he's going to retire. Someday soon from what I heard. Old wrestlers being what they are, I wouldn't believe it until I see it. But a man like you Rabid.. you're the type of guy who thinks what I can get out of this? All those legends, all that respect.. you can take it all away. By taking over Pantheon. You wouldn't earn leadership of Pantheon like previous people did. Johnny Fly didn't lead Pantheon because he said so, he did it because everyone in Pantheon respected him, respected his leadership. He was a natural leader. Ditto for Corey Black. But then there's you. You would run Pantheon into the ground chasing glory only for yourself. I'm not going to let that happen. But as I already said earlier, I'm the guy who left Pantheon because I thought I wasn't good enough. So how I am not going to beat Johnny Rabid but beat him to the extend that it proves my point? You want to know that.. you need to take a look at the recent life of Alex Richards.
The scene changes. No longer are we in a bar, now we appear to be in a seedy Chinese Buffet. The type of place where you pay $5.99 and get all the chicken balls you can handle. Alex Richards looks at the buffet and shakes his head.
Alex Richards: I'm not back in the WCF and at XIII in order to eat Chinese food. That won ton soup looks delicious but that's not why I'm here at all.
Alex reaches into his doctor's bag, the same doctor's bag he's had his entire wrestling career and pulls out..
Alex Richards: A drinking boot. Filled to the brim with Zim-Quila.
Alex returns it to the bag.
Alex Richards: I'm not here to drink either. Eat, drink, be merry. You remember all of those things about Alex Richards don't you? Fake title belts made out of rusty bed springs, stealing medicine from hospitals.. YOLO ADRIAN.. I GOT IT... BOOOOOOM.. Fuck all of that shit.
Alex smiles. This smile is not fake at all though. As he watches as a pretty young woman wearing a black lace dress walks in the direction of his voice. A chocolate lab leading the way. The woman with the exception of wearing dark sunglasses is the splitting image of Elvira from 80s television. Because you know.. that's her pic base and all.
Alex Richards: Rebecca Thatch. She's not just out of my league. She's leagues out of my league. There's one hell of a story about how I came to date the beautiful blind chick. It involved one hell of a battle with the yakuza. See, they wanted to kidnap me but they figured she was easier so they snatch her and... Say, you want to tell the story Becky?
Rebecca smiles.
Rebecca Thatch: Absolutely not.
Alex grins again, and this time the couple kiss.
Alex Richards: Because that's not what any of this is about.
Rebecca turns and begins to walk away. The scene jumps forward again. Now we see Alex next to his massive souped up SUV, The Strange Rover.
Alex Richards: Back in the Pantheon days I used to live in here. Plenty of room, especially considering what Nicky Tesla did to it, runs on Zim-Quila just like I do, and if you have somewhere you have to be on a moment's notice you're already on the road. Even has it's own chauffeur.
The door swings open, and a skinny, tall beanpole of a man with long, black hair grins at Alex.. and flips him off.
Man: Chauffeur? Fuck you! More like a babysitter.
Alex Richards: My brother Shaun Zach. I've been screwing with him for years. Getting us into sticky situations and then just barely getting out of them.
SZR: Without my help you would have been screwed years ago.
Alex Richards: And without me you wouldn't have any good stories to tell.
SZR: Okay that's true.
Alex Richards: Speaking of which... we're driving to Alaska.. we're gonna build the world's largest snowman dress it up like Johnny Rabid, and then destroy it with the world's largest blow dryer. You in?
SZR: Not a chance.
Alex Richards: Yeah.. me neither.. because that's not what I'm here for.
And with that Alex is back in the bar.
Alex Richards: That's the difference. That's the secret. That's why since I left the WCF, I traveled the world. Won world titles, won tag team titles, even won a world champion of the year annual award. Because I learned when you are in that ring, everything is deadly serious. Sure, I can still joke around in real life but when I look at my opponent the jokes stop. You aren't getting the fun loving Archduke of Mass Confusion who couldn't win the tag titles from the fucking Beach Krew. You are getting the guy who's destroyed everyone the wrestling world has put in front of him all year long. And I can't think of someone who deserves it more then you.. Rabid. You smug fucking bastard.
Alex Richards: Because I have evolved. The results speak for themselves. My actions speak for themselves. And so do yours. You're exactly the same man I saw and was disgusted by the moment you joined the WCF. Why do you think every single week I challenged the Beach Krew.. over and over again? I wanted to destroy the Beach Krew.. and you Johnny Rabid, once and for all. But I never got the chance. And look what happened? The Beach Krew took over Pantheon. Corey Black.. Jayson Price.. how the fuck did you let that happen? How in the fuck did you let the fuck boys become Pantheon? Johnny Rabid.. out of all of them.. I respected you the least.
Alex Richards: People like Kyle Kemp.. Sandy Coconutz.. Jim Thuggin.. they were jokes but everyone knew they were jokes. They are basically the wrestling versions of Paris Hilton. Going on tv just to be famous. But then there's you.. Rabid.. you were even worse then them because you had their same motivations.. but you were smarter. You declared yourself the leader of the Beach Krew.. but you weren't the real talent. Wade Moor won the world championship. You never did. Jared Holmes won Final Destination. What did you fucking do? You posited yourself as the leader so everyone else's hard work made you look good.
Alex roars the following statement.
Alex Richards: NOW YOU'RE FUCKING DOING IT AGAIN! DIFFERENT FUCKING STABLE! SAME FUCKING RESULTS! AND IT FUCKING MAKES ME SICK! LITERALLY MAKES ME SICK! Look at everyone in Pantheon.. look at how fucking much better they are then you.. Rabid. And that's the way you fucking like it.. isn't it Rabid? I joined Pantheon not because I wanted to coast on what other people did in Pantheon but because I wanted to carve out my own legacy within the group! You don't want to do that. You're in Pantheon simply because it's another notch in your belt. Now forever you can say you were a member of the legendary Pantheon. You have to pay for that. I will be the one who makes you pay for it. I can't take your membership away from you. But I can make you wish you never had the bad idea to join. Now I don't like a lot of the people in Pantheon. But I can't argue with their results. Corey Black five time world champion. Jayson Price, two time world champion. Joey Flash three time world champion. All of those men either hall of fame or future hall of fame. Wade Moor, former world champion. Even though I still think it's bull the way he won the title from Jay Omega. But results are what matter. Jared Holmes and David Sanchez both won the final destination match, meaning they both could have been world champion at any moment. How about you Johnny Rabid? Do you appear to be lacking in some way? It's not even the lack of a title. No, that stupid Trios title doesn't count in my mind. Winning the tournament has meaning, winning the title. Who fucking cares? You had shots at the world title and the television title. You won both matches but neither title. So why aren't you going after the gold? Even challenging for the gold? Because you are content. You are content with fucking doing nothing!
Alex slams his hand hard against one of the tables in the bar out of frustration.
Alex Richards: So why does what you do offend me so much? Why is what you're doing Rabid drive me to return to the WCF simply to demolish you? I'll tell you why. Here something everyone knows about me. I have always have partners, I have always been a member of a stable. And I have always been loyal to them. Currently I proudly declare myself a member of the Guardians. I wouldn't dream of turning on them. The Pack.. the pack was like family to me. If any member of the Pack never needed my help all they would have to do is ask and I would be there in a second. As for Pantheon... I am making an appearance in a federation I have no connection with anymore solely to defend their honor. That's how fucking important Pantheon is to me! I'm not even a member anymore! But I still care about their legacy.. I still fucking care what happens to me.. and I still care if snake oil salesman like you Rabid are trying to exploit them! And what I am going to do about it? Gravedigger... eat your heart out.
Alex walks over to the displays from earlier, more specially to the iv bag that was Jayson Price's display. He unzips and... well I bet you can guess what happens next.
Alex Richards: I just pissed in an IV bag and that's nothing! Because you... you.. Pantheon are pissing on your own legacy by letting jackals like Johnny Rabid into your group! If you heard Alex Richards was coming on television and pissing in an IV bag you would think I'm playing a joke right? But it is no joke! The only joke is the value Johnny Rabid adds to Pantheon. Which is actually somehow less then this urine filled bag! I can't change the fact that you're a member of Pantheon Johnny. But what I can do is show what you are really worth to them. When the match is over.. when my hands are raised, when you are laying on the mat.. defeated. Everyone will know the truth. You're not a fighter, you're not a champion, you're not even a team player. You are a leech, and a user Rabid. You add less to Pantheon then someone who stepped away from the group! That's what I am going to show. That's going to be my legacy Johnny, I'm going to expose the imposter, the fraud within Pantheon. I couldn't bring Pantheon another world title. But maybe I can save them from you.
Alex Richards: I'm not the only one who thinks the new standard of Pantheon is fucked. My old tag team partner Jeff Purse, why do you think he's opposing Corey Black? He can't stand what Pantheon has become either. One of the founding members is going against the leader of Pantheon, wanting not only to defeat him. But to open his eyes and make him see what Pantheon has become. Jeff and I aren't tag partners any longer but we both have the same mission this week. I am going to succeed against Johnny Rabid. I hope Jeff does the same against Corey Black. Or fuck maybe Friday October 13 I'll be the one facing Corey Black. Johnny Rabid sure as shit ain't good enough to put me down maybe Creeping Death himself can shut me up. Because he will want to shut me up because what I say is the truth. New Pantheon is not real Pantheon.. they are merely a cancer to wrestling that has taken the Pantheon name. Johnny Rabid, you are merely the first cells that need to be destroyed. That will be destroyed.
Alex returns one last time to the display.. standing right next to the massive coffee cake.
Alex Richards: One of these celebrated the birth of Pantheon. The founding members ate a coffee cake just like this in the middle of the ring. I had another one made.. just in case. To celebrate the rebirth of Pantheon.. real Pantheon without you. Sure, eliminating you from Pantheon Rabid doesn't fix all of it's problems. But hey it's a start. You can only take one step at a time. As a proud member of the Pantheon family.. it would be my pleasure to take the first step. Start making your excuses Rabid, you aren't worthy of Pantheon. I know it.. you know it.. and after XIII everyone will know it. Friday the 13th is the stuff of nightmares for some people. I'll make sure no one knows greater horror on this day then you. Everyone else in Pantheon who is remembered has won the big one. Jeff Purse and Jay Omega won War. Corey Black won five world titles. Johnny Fly and Steve Orbit are so iconic they will be remembered forever by anyone who has so much as heard of wrestling. This is my moment, this is my chance to help purify Pantheon. I will not fail. I will not be denied. Johnny Rabid, your days of sucking the souls and cocks of better wrestlers are over. For you.. this is the end..
Fade To Black
