Post by theonly on Dec 8, 2008 18:05:53 GMT -5
*The following was posted on wedon'tknowanything.com*
The past few weeks, the Kane family has become more and more of a profile in the wrestling world. With so many members, its a tad hard to keep track of all of them and what their story is. Tonight, we sat down and came up with the best information we could about this rather large family.
Name: Brad Kane
Aliases: Reckless Jack, Brad Wallace
Likes: Big boobed brunettes, sex, pizza, sex, wrestling, sex, football, sex, baseball, sex, sleeping, sex, playing with his kids, sex and more sex.
Dislikes: Anyone named Lucy, the color royal blue, shemales, mushrooms, alcohol, hairy vaginas, condoms and the New York Yankees.
Unusual Fact: Has a nine and a half inch penis.
Wrestling Record: Unknown.
Titles Won: A bunch.
Story: Born in March of 1979 in Belfast, Ireland, Brad was the second boy of a set of twins, coming out moments after his brother. From there, the two always shared a bond whether it was playing wrestling in the backyard or wanting to get drunk at a young age. It was severed when their parents where tragically killed/committed suicide. Brad was shipped off to live with a foster family in Brooklyn, New York. Why he didn't stay in Ireland is a huge hole that no one seems to figure out. Anyways, his foster family sucked. He was abused and the sort. He broke out on his own at eighteen, getting a job and living with his girlfriend and best friend. At age twenty, his girlfriend became impregnanted and nine months later, his son Chris was born. Soon thereafter, he and his girlfriend drifted apart while he fell in love with Lucy. The two got married mid 2001 in a small ceremony.
He drifted from job to job, never finding anything consistent until he trained to become a professional wrestler. He was a quick learner and graduated from his class. He began to find work off the bat as he made his name as Reckless Jack, a hardcore wrestler. He'd do anything to make the fans go insane, hence the name Reckless. Anyways, it all started to take a toll on him and he took a break in 2005 to recharge his batteries. When he came back, he introduced Lucy to the world as his manager, although the story had them as just meeting. In late 2005, she became pregnant as an effort to save the failing marriage as his son was suffering daily from never getting attention. In April of 2006, Chris was taken away from Brad as Brad started to drink. It was a downward sprial that saw Lucy leave him a month before giving birth. Their relationship maintained on TV but that was about it until Christmas of that year when they got a divorce.
He was a broken man with nothing or no one except for wrestling. His drive in the business got stronger but his will got weaker as thoughts of suicide began to run rampant through out his brain. That all changed one day when he met Megan Sanderson. The two hit it off from the git go as they fell in love and married pretty quickly. During their courtship, his son passed away and he went through rehab for his problems. His career took a turn as well as he dropped the Reckless Jack name slowly and began to use his real one instead, using a more methodical and safer style then before. He also came across a daughter he had from a one night stand with his ex-girlfriend and took her in. Then the kids began to amass for Brad.
In July of this year, Megan gave birth to twin girls, their first kids together and a couple of months later, the kid from his marriage with Lucy also appeared. Brad Kane has had an insane, hard to believe life but it's started to become more sane by the day. That is Brad Kane in a nutshell.
Name: Megan Kane
Aliases: Megan Sanderson, Megs, Sweetie, Baby, Honey, Love
Likes: Anything that involves spending time with family, wrestling, being pregnant, Brad's penis... actually pretty much anything that has to do with Brad.
Dislikes: Anyone named Lucy, the Master of Horrors match and mean people.
Stats: Graduated from an unknown college with a degree in teaching. Is a great cook despite her potato salad "tasting like shit."
Wrestling Record: 2-2-1
Life Achievements: Deep throating Brad's member.
Story: Megan was born in September of 1979 to a middle class family in Boston. She was the oldest of three children with two younger brothers. Megan excelled in school as a child, usually getting straight A's. She graduated high school with honors and lettered in Volleyball. In college, she met her now best friend when they became roommates. It's rumored that during their stay in college, they experimented sexually with one another although it's yet to be confirmed. Megan also gratuated from college with honors as she began her teaching career, picking Home Ec.
She loved her work and loved watching pro wrestling, speifically Brad Kane. When she found out her brother was training under him, she wanted to go along and meet him. The rest is history. Now Megan is a mother of two with another on the way as well as a step mother of two. She is also serving as Brad's manager until she can no longer take it due to the tolls of being pregnant. She loves everyone in the family and is dedicated to making sure everyone stays happy and safe.
Name: Lillian Kane
Aliases: Lilly, Daddy's Lilly Flower, Daddy's Little Princess and Stinky Butt
Likes: Sleeping, Blue's Clues, getting kisses from daddy, her stuffed bear gave to her on her birthday, trying to walk and trying to talk.
Dislikes: Loud noises, falling when trying to walk, wetting and or pooping shitting herself, clowns and Sarah Palin.
Stats: Her first words were "Dada love!" Her fourth word was "Fuck."
Story: Lilly was a product of a one night stand between Brad and his first girlfriend. Lilly was born in July of 2007 to a mother who didn't want her. Once Chris died and Brad came to the funeral, he found out about Lilly and offered to take her off of her mother's hands. Since then, Lilly has been the source of a lot of inspiration for Brad, wanting to make sure she'll be proud of him one day. Lilly herself has a giant fondness of Blue's Clues, always managing to pay attention through the whole show. She's also very quiet unless something upsets her such as a clown or hearing Sarah Palin speak. Loves her big half sister to death although the feeling isn't much mutual. It's been rumored that Lilly might be a genius waiting to happen.
Name: Lacey Kane
Aliases: None
Likes: The color pink, yelling, throwing a fit, kicking people in the shins, pizza and playing with blocks.
Dislikes: Being told no.
Stats: Is being potty trained.
Story: Lacey was a last ditch effort to save a failing marriage and was either born in July or August of 2006, it's never been nailed down. For the first two years of her life, she lived with her grandparents as Lucy didn't want Brad to find out about her. Thus when he grandparents died, Lacey was united with her unknown father. She's a royal pain in the ass for every due to her age but they're slowly starting to warm up to her. Doesn't like to share her toys much and is kinda mean to Lilly. She's learning how to get along though. However, Lucy has come back to reclaim her as Lacey is now out of the house.
Names: Sarah and Jennifer Kane
Aliases: The Twins
Likes: Sleeping and feeding.
Dislikes: Unknown.
Stats: Sarah was born first.
Story: Hardly anything to tell. They're five month old babies.
Name: Freya Kane-Ragnal
Aliases: Unknown
Likes: Music, movies, wrestling, hanging out with her brothers, sister in law and nieces (except for one.)
Dislikes: Guys who take girls virginity and then dumps them, Lacey and the Volcano Taco from Taco Bell.
Wrestling Record: 6-2
Titles Held: Ring of Beauty Television Championship (made two successful defenses.)
Ring of Beauty Pure Wrestling Championship
Story: Freya was born in 1984, sometime in December is what we're told. She was the little baby sister of Brad and Mike Kane. Only a year old when her parents died, viewing their mother's suicide. Was sent to live in an asylum as most feared for the worst, seeing something so horrid at a young age. Mike helped her get out sometime during her teenage years as the two began to travel the world as Mike wrestled for various promotions. Freya always needed Mike's help as she was a little bit off kilter yet, not really showing any signs of maturity. In April of 2007, she found out she had another brother in Brad, having it revealed on a national wrestling program. Freya was thrilled at the prospect of having another brother.
Freya took a liking to Brad but hardly got to see him due to a rift between him and Mike. Once her two older brothers got past their issues, they started to become a close knit family with Freya moving out of Mike's small apartment and into Brad's house. Brad saw some promise in her as he trained her to wrestle and she's taken to it naturally, just like her brothers have. While starting to wrestle, Freya started to become confident in herself as she started to go out a bit more. She met a man named Andy took a liking to her. The two started to go out as Freya started to fall in love with him and likewise. After about a month and a half, they moved in with each other and that's where it took an awful turn.
One night, Freya happened to come across Cinemax after midnight and she wanted to know what that felt like. Andy was happy to show her. The day after, he violently kicked Freya out of their apartment, dumping her in the process. With nowhere else to go, she returned to Brad and Megan's home. However, in wanting to make Freya feel more on her own, they converted their sex room into an apartment style of thing for Freya as she turned it into her own. Freya is on her way to becoming an adult despite being twenty three. She's also madly in love with Joe Ragnal, a fellow professional wrestler and this time the love she has is mutual, not a ploy to screw going to far as to marry him.
So that's the profile on this giant family living under one roof. We tried to interview Michael "Spike" Kane but we unable to at this time. Thank you for reading.
The past few weeks, the Kane family has become more and more of a profile in the wrestling world. With so many members, its a tad hard to keep track of all of them and what their story is. Tonight, we sat down and came up with the best information we could about this rather large family.
Name: Brad Kane
Aliases: Reckless Jack, Brad Wallace
Likes: Big boobed brunettes, sex, pizza, sex, wrestling, sex, football, sex, baseball, sex, sleeping, sex, playing with his kids, sex and more sex.
Dislikes: Anyone named Lucy, the color royal blue, shemales, mushrooms, alcohol, hairy vaginas, condoms and the New York Yankees.
Unusual Fact: Has a nine and a half inch penis.
Wrestling Record: Unknown.
Titles Won: A bunch.
Story: Born in March of 1979 in Belfast, Ireland, Brad was the second boy of a set of twins, coming out moments after his brother. From there, the two always shared a bond whether it was playing wrestling in the backyard or wanting to get drunk at a young age. It was severed when their parents where tragically killed/committed suicide. Brad was shipped off to live with a foster family in Brooklyn, New York. Why he didn't stay in Ireland is a huge hole that no one seems to figure out. Anyways, his foster family sucked. He was abused and the sort. He broke out on his own at eighteen, getting a job and living with his girlfriend and best friend. At age twenty, his girlfriend became impregnanted and nine months later, his son Chris was born. Soon thereafter, he and his girlfriend drifted apart while he fell in love with Lucy. The two got married mid 2001 in a small ceremony.
He drifted from job to job, never finding anything consistent until he trained to become a professional wrestler. He was a quick learner and graduated from his class. He began to find work off the bat as he made his name as Reckless Jack, a hardcore wrestler. He'd do anything to make the fans go insane, hence the name Reckless. Anyways, it all started to take a toll on him and he took a break in 2005 to recharge his batteries. When he came back, he introduced Lucy to the world as his manager, although the story had them as just meeting. In late 2005, she became pregnant as an effort to save the failing marriage as his son was suffering daily from never getting attention. In April of 2006, Chris was taken away from Brad as Brad started to drink. It was a downward sprial that saw Lucy leave him a month before giving birth. Their relationship maintained on TV but that was about it until Christmas of that year when they got a divorce.
He was a broken man with nothing or no one except for wrestling. His drive in the business got stronger but his will got weaker as thoughts of suicide began to run rampant through out his brain. That all changed one day when he met Megan Sanderson. The two hit it off from the git go as they fell in love and married pretty quickly. During their courtship, his son passed away and he went through rehab for his problems. His career took a turn as well as he dropped the Reckless Jack name slowly and began to use his real one instead, using a more methodical and safer style then before. He also came across a daughter he had from a one night stand with his ex-girlfriend and took her in. Then the kids began to amass for Brad.
In July of this year, Megan gave birth to twin girls, their first kids together and a couple of months later, the kid from his marriage with Lucy also appeared. Brad Kane has had an insane, hard to believe life but it's started to become more sane by the day. That is Brad Kane in a nutshell.
Name: Megan Kane
Aliases: Megan Sanderson, Megs, Sweetie, Baby, Honey, Love
Likes: Anything that involves spending time with family, wrestling, being pregnant, Brad's penis... actually pretty much anything that has to do with Brad.
Dislikes: Anyone named Lucy, the Master of Horrors match and mean people.
Stats: Graduated from an unknown college with a degree in teaching. Is a great cook despite her potato salad "tasting like shit."
Wrestling Record: 2-2-1
Life Achievements: Deep throating Brad's member.
Story: Megan was born in September of 1979 to a middle class family in Boston. She was the oldest of three children with two younger brothers. Megan excelled in school as a child, usually getting straight A's. She graduated high school with honors and lettered in Volleyball. In college, she met her now best friend when they became roommates. It's rumored that during their stay in college, they experimented sexually with one another although it's yet to be confirmed. Megan also gratuated from college with honors as she began her teaching career, picking Home Ec.
She loved her work and loved watching pro wrestling, speifically Brad Kane. When she found out her brother was training under him, she wanted to go along and meet him. The rest is history. Now Megan is a mother of two with another on the way as well as a step mother of two. She is also serving as Brad's manager until she can no longer take it due to the tolls of being pregnant. She loves everyone in the family and is dedicated to making sure everyone stays happy and safe.
Name: Lillian Kane
Aliases: Lilly, Daddy's Lilly Flower, Daddy's Little Princess and Stinky Butt
Likes: Sleeping, Blue's Clues, getting kisses from daddy, her stuffed bear gave to her on her birthday, trying to walk and trying to talk.
Dislikes: Loud noises, falling when trying to walk, wetting and or pooping shitting herself, clowns and Sarah Palin.
Stats: Her first words were "Dada love!" Her fourth word was "Fuck."
Story: Lilly was a product of a one night stand between Brad and his first girlfriend. Lilly was born in July of 2007 to a mother who didn't want her. Once Chris died and Brad came to the funeral, he found out about Lilly and offered to take her off of her mother's hands. Since then, Lilly has been the source of a lot of inspiration for Brad, wanting to make sure she'll be proud of him one day. Lilly herself has a giant fondness of Blue's Clues, always managing to pay attention through the whole show. She's also very quiet unless something upsets her such as a clown or hearing Sarah Palin speak. Loves her big half sister to death although the feeling isn't much mutual. It's been rumored that Lilly might be a genius waiting to happen.
Name: Lacey Kane
Aliases: None
Likes: The color pink, yelling, throwing a fit, kicking people in the shins, pizza and playing with blocks.
Dislikes: Being told no.
Stats: Is being potty trained.
Story: Lacey was a last ditch effort to save a failing marriage and was either born in July or August of 2006, it's never been nailed down. For the first two years of her life, she lived with her grandparents as Lucy didn't want Brad to find out about her. Thus when he grandparents died, Lacey was united with her unknown father. She's a royal pain in the ass for every due to her age but they're slowly starting to warm up to her. Doesn't like to share her toys much and is kinda mean to Lilly. She's learning how to get along though. However, Lucy has come back to reclaim her as Lacey is now out of the house.
Names: Sarah and Jennifer Kane
Aliases: The Twins
Likes: Sleeping and feeding.
Dislikes: Unknown.
Stats: Sarah was born first.
Story: Hardly anything to tell. They're five month old babies.
Name: Freya Kane-Ragnal
Aliases: Unknown
Likes: Music, movies, wrestling, hanging out with her brothers, sister in law and nieces (except for one.)
Dislikes: Guys who take girls virginity and then dumps them, Lacey and the Volcano Taco from Taco Bell.
Wrestling Record: 6-2
Titles Held: Ring of Beauty Television Championship (made two successful defenses.)
Ring of Beauty Pure Wrestling Championship
Story: Freya was born in 1984, sometime in December is what we're told. She was the little baby sister of Brad and Mike Kane. Only a year old when her parents died, viewing their mother's suicide. Was sent to live in an asylum as most feared for the worst, seeing something so horrid at a young age. Mike helped her get out sometime during her teenage years as the two began to travel the world as Mike wrestled for various promotions. Freya always needed Mike's help as she was a little bit off kilter yet, not really showing any signs of maturity. In April of 2007, she found out she had another brother in Brad, having it revealed on a national wrestling program. Freya was thrilled at the prospect of having another brother.
Freya took a liking to Brad but hardly got to see him due to a rift between him and Mike. Once her two older brothers got past their issues, they started to become a close knit family with Freya moving out of Mike's small apartment and into Brad's house. Brad saw some promise in her as he trained her to wrestle and she's taken to it naturally, just like her brothers have. While starting to wrestle, Freya started to become confident in herself as she started to go out a bit more. She met a man named Andy took a liking to her. The two started to go out as Freya started to fall in love with him and likewise. After about a month and a half, they moved in with each other and that's where it took an awful turn.
One night, Freya happened to come across Cinemax after midnight and she wanted to know what that felt like. Andy was happy to show her. The day after, he violently kicked Freya out of their apartment, dumping her in the process. With nowhere else to go, she returned to Brad and Megan's home. However, in wanting to make Freya feel more on her own, they converted their sex room into an apartment style of thing for Freya as she turned it into her own. Freya is on her way to becoming an adult despite being twenty three. She's also madly in love with Joe Ragnal, a fellow professional wrestler and this time the love she has is mutual, not a ploy to screw going to far as to marry him.
So that's the profile on this giant family living under one roof. We tried to interview Michael "Spike" Kane but we unable to at this time. Thank you for reading.
