City of Chicago to Host First Undercard Awareness Parade.
Oct 17, 2016 3:41:10 GMT -5
John Rabid likes this
Post by David Sanchez on Oct 17, 2016 3:41:10 GMT -5
Source: ChicagoTribune.com
In a recent press conference, where he was supposed to address the soaring crime-rates across the city of Chicago, their so-called esteemed mayor made the following comments.
The Mayor of Chicago went on to say that any civilian attending the event would also be entered into a raffle to make up the numbers for the remaining members of Team Invasion at Helloween, as their opponents were clearly struggling to either count or find anyone worthwhile.
In a recent press conference, where he was supposed to address the soaring crime-rates across the city of Chicago, their so-called esteemed mayor made the following comments.
"On Monday the 17th of October our great city will take to the streets to celebrate the passing-back of the torch in professional wrestling after Pantheon has repeatedly proven that those currently in possession of said flame are little more than children with pyromania tendencies.
It's going to be a fun day for the entire family, and the money raised will be donated towards the 'Zero Tolerance Make Midcarders Matter Movement.' A charity which aims to make mediocre talent more meaningful by pairing them up with established superstars and giving them some rub.
The official parade will begin at 11am, and will feature floats designed by those superstars directly effected by the lack of actual talent required to get themselves over in this sport, Noteworthy entrants so far are: Crazy J, Jason Cash, Adrian Archer, Damian Kaine and current King of West-African Outdated Media; Teddy Blaze.
We will also be hosting several stalls during the course of the day including:
White America and It's Heterosexual Children - The Thomas Bates Story (as read aloud by Mikey eXtreme)
Raymond Hatcher's - 'Can't Work, Won't Work' (A reflective story from a survivor of midcard nothingness)
Facepainting with Oblivion
Pin the championship on Damian Kaine
and of course, there will be opportunities aplenty to have your picture taken with the members of Pantheon who have generously made this event possible with their donations. (Kids $5, Adults $10, Zero Tolerance Members $29.95)
This city needs to be aware of the real issues in the world and right now midcard mediocrity is effecting one in three people on the WCF roster. Together we can increase awareness on this issue and aim for a brighter tomorrow where these guys have steady jobs in retail and hospitality."
It's going to be a fun day for the entire family, and the money raised will be donated towards the 'Zero Tolerance Make Midcarders Matter Movement.' A charity which aims to make mediocre talent more meaningful by pairing them up with established superstars and giving them some rub.
The official parade will begin at 11am, and will feature floats designed by those superstars directly effected by the lack of actual talent required to get themselves over in this sport, Noteworthy entrants so far are: Crazy J, Jason Cash, Adrian Archer, Damian Kaine and current King of West-African Outdated Media; Teddy Blaze.
We will also be hosting several stalls during the course of the day including:
White America and It's Heterosexual Children - The Thomas Bates Story (as read aloud by Mikey eXtreme)
Raymond Hatcher's - 'Can't Work, Won't Work' (A reflective story from a survivor of midcard nothingness)
Facepainting with Oblivion
Pin the championship on Damian Kaine
and of course, there will be opportunities aplenty to have your picture taken with the members of Pantheon who have generously made this event possible with their donations. (Kids $5, Adults $10, Zero Tolerance Members $29.95)
This city needs to be aware of the real issues in the world and right now midcard mediocrity is effecting one in three people on the WCF roster. Together we can increase awareness on this issue and aim for a brighter tomorrow where these guys have steady jobs in retail and hospitality."
The Mayor of Chicago went on to say that any civilian attending the event would also be entered into a raffle to make up the numbers for the remaining members of Team Invasion at Helloween, as their opponents were clearly struggling to either count or find anyone worthwhile.
