Post by "The Real Deal" Jason O'Neal on Oct 9, 2016 12:47:33 GMT -5
‘Zach Davis: Going into a match like this, no one knows what to expect from a man like Jason O'Neal, but he sure did prove himself here tonight… Jason O'Neal belongs here…”
:: Three months. Three months is all it took for the above words to be spoken. Jason O’Neal belonged here long before WAR 15. Shit, Jason O’Neal belong here before there was a here. It’s fun to see how the tides of time have turned reality upside down.
Jason O’Neal found himself week after week on a rollercoaster of lack luster opponents to get to nowhere, but corporate bullshit factories at the top of the ladder. One week, one WAR and all of a sudden, Jason O’Neal gets the opportunity to have an opportunity at something that really matters.
Jason has had shots at the TV title before, but given the circumstances of the politics at the top, it was like trying to shoot an elephant with a BB gun. Probably wasn’t going to be too effective against the corporate hacks in Bates and Battle. Luckily, we’ve graduated into a bigger corporate asshat, as World Champion, who comes out of nowhere in time for WAR to win the title. Yes Corey Black…that means you.
Gotta love guys like Black, Belfore, and Flash… hasbeens, big crowd pop, one match left in the tank, then fade into the night for the remainder of the year. WAR 16 they will be back. Oldest trick in the book. Jason O’Neal has been around for three months and only seen promos from these cats for 2 weeks prior to war. Legends belong on a shelf enshrined in bronze. It’s nice not to have TUB of Lard as champion and its nice to have a great direction now, but face it… two weeks built on a legacy of what used to be is not world champion material.
Then there’s now… the chance at a chance at the ALPHA Title. A chance at the chance for a World Title match. Since WAR, and an apparently impressive performance, Jason O’Neal’s stock has risen. As far as the world can see, CJ Phoenix is not a corporate hack. He is not some peon… the little shit worked his way up a very tall ladder to get where he has gotten. Now, Jason is in the middle of that same ladder. Time for some decisions to be made.
So what is the future WcF Alpha Champion doing currently? Well, the camera fades in on Jason O’Neal preparing for the night’s matches the only way he knows how. Now of course the camera isn’t going to show the X rated scenes coming from behind the door, but there is at least three distinct female moaning and squeals. Fun stuff. The camera pans around a bit and shows that indeed we are inside the Stan Sheriff Center in Honolulu, Hawaii. What’s better is the insignia on the door just beside the room number 156, ## Reserved: ALPHA CHAMPION CJ PHEONIX##. The familiar voice of Travis Randolph is in disbelief behind the camera…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: He told me to meet him here. That sonovabitch… Phoenix is going to be livid. (Knocks on the door) Jason, its Travis. Hurry up… I still gotta get this promo to production before deadline.
:: There is no ceasing in the action behind the door. Travis bangs louder… and apparently so does Jason as the screams and moans get louder. Travis knocks again. This time there is a response…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Occupied.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: It’s me Travis.
:: A couple minutes later of dead wasted air… yes … about 3 minutes later there is some shuffling around in the room…
FEMALE: Where’s my shirt…?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Not my problem. All of ya’ll out.
:: The door cracks opens and out struts three of the most beautiful Hawaiian goddesses you have ever seen. They vary in their clothing coverage. One is topless, one is bottomless, and the other is in bra and panties as they stroll out as if they own the place. Jason meets Travis at the door shirtless with a pair of athletic pants on. He shoots Travis a smile as the camera pans back to the bubble butt Hawaiian princesses…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Always one of my favorite places on Earth… Come on in…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Come on in…? F*ck that… I ain’t getting my ass whipped behind being in this locker room.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: So let me get this straight. You would travel to Bolivia and cocoa fields and poppy field in Afghanistan and not into CJ Phoenix’s locker room?
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: You control that world. You don’t control this one.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I still do whatever the hell I want. And besides it’s not like I had Kaiyah in here ass-up. Coulda, but I didn’t. He won’t be that pissed.
TRAVIS RANDOPH: I don’t know…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You wanna get paid or not?
:: The camera heads reluctantly into the locker room of the ALPHA Champion, CJ Phoenix. For the first time Jason’s full frame is in full frame of the camera. He is a specimen that all the men are jealous of and all the women want. Including Kidd Krazzy’s grandma. Jason walks around taking in the place…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: So this is the shit you get when you become a champion?
:: The room is average. Nothing major, but it is private…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Wow. (Less than impressed)… I guess it’s better than having Psychopomp getting the bathroom confused with his locker and shitting everywhere in the general locker room. It smelled like ass for four hours that night.
:: I guess we now know why that one female was bottomless. Jason O’Neal picks up a pink thong from a fruit bowl. Well… uhh… almost a fruit bowl…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: What more do you exect from World Confederate Foundation… f*cking bananas. Really? The only fruit… in the land of pineapples they give the highest profile black athlete on the roster is a bunch of bananas? Funny.
:: Jason smirks and replaces the thong back on the bowl of bananas…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Can we get this show on the road? I still have to get it to production and make sure CJ Phoenix doesn’t find me.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Sure…
:: Jason sits back on the comfy black leather couch that lies in the center of the room. He props his feet up on the coffee table and begins the promo…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: For the first time… I want to say thank you to the administration of the WcF. Eight less than talented guys… I use that term loosely, stand in my way… well somewhere in the vicinity of me getting my hands on some gold fairly soon. The Alpha Title is a spring board to greatness. It would pretty much guarantee me a world title shot three months from October 30. Apparently, according to Zach Davis, I quote un quote belong here now. It’s about time to show everyone why I actually do belong here. Of course I bring the ratings and money, but now it’s time to show them that I am athletic enough to compete at high levels. If I do that, WcF would have a… business professional… as the face of the company and my sales would go through the roof.
:: Just a pause to break up the monotony of talking…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: All eight of these guys realize they are out gunned in this match. Shit six of them may not even show up. I am the Alpha, at least in this match. Kidd Krazzy basically said I was god’s gift to wrestling and that I scare the hell out of him. What kind of pep-talk is that to give to himself when he is trying to psych himself up?
Kidd… I realize this is your first match and I realize you live in your grandparents’ basement. I’m not the best there is or was. But, compared to you, it must be like a dwarf looking at a normal sized human. I am not tall… just taller than you. The top three of us get a shot at the Alpha Title, I guess you will make it there. You and I both know Krazzy… you are Crazy if you think you can beat CJ Phoenix let alone, me.
Speaking of midgets, Shay McKay… the 5’6” giant. The Shame of Ireland. The Dummy of Dublin. I was excited to think that you would be in this match. I figured, someone would actually f*cking hit me before I eliminated all of the other competitors. However, you suck just as much as everyone else. I figured guy from Ireland must have some skills fighting, but no0o0o0o0o the f*cker is just some average wanker blowing the digeridoo.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: You realize that wanker is a British term and digeridoo is Australian and McKay is Irish right?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The whole world does not revolve around McKay… I was just making an asinine joke. I knew the origin of those words… dumbf*ck.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: And my name is Michael Jackson…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Speaking of pedophiles and weirdos… Jaice Wilds, Brian Paine, and Jordan Ciserano. Jaice Wilds is wild enough to take …ahem …Punishment from the the Punisher named Brian Paine and not stop…ahem… coming. Wilds is the most insignificant thing since Bates’ manhood. Furthermore, Paine is another guy who is a self proclaimed comic book nerd and nicknamed himself the Punisher. Guy must be related to Kidd Krazzy… because anyone that lame still lives with grandma. Then there is Jordan Ciserano… probably going to drop a promo right before the deadline, but I just want to remind the world that he dreamed about rolling around with guys in tights since he was 14 years old. What kind of maniac is that? Do we really want him representing this company?
:: Jason smirks about how easy this week is going to be…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Johnny Evil and Joe Farts are two peas in a pod. Both are sitting around with their thumbs up their assess trying to find motivation for this match. Well Smarts… I saw some of the stuff you did in the ring at WAR… hashtag yawn fest. Try to impress me this week…will you? Johnny Evil hasn’t impressed anyone since he won the biggest loser competition in high school… and we aren’t talking about weight loss. He is just a loser.
Last, but not least… Johnny Blaze… the inbred half cousin of Teddy Blaze. Like Krazzy… you too know the significance of having your first match here in the WcF. Unlike me… your second match won’t be on a big stage, unless of course you find a way to hide in the corner this week and squeak into the gauntlet match at the pay per view. Speaking of the pay per view… did you really say, ‘I figured Helloween was the Halloween card?’ No shit. I mean come on where does the administration find these guys...?
:: Jason smirks and takes his feet off the coffee table. He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees. He looks into the camera. The camera catches his chisled body in the frame…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Let the facts be shown to a candid world… the match at the October pay per view is pretty much a one on one match with CJ Phoenix. Therefore, once again to the administration, thank you. CJ, I told the WcF fans in a promo a while back that the only reason I kept you out of the fray is because you never ended up on my radar. It seems the administration sought to put you in the crosshairs. Start praying pretty boy. I know your history… you grew up less than 100 miles from me boy. I know everything there is to know about you and the lack of accomplishments you have made for yourself over there in the capitol city.
You got here in January and you go the ALPHA Title in August. Approximately, seven months. I got here in July and on October 30… it’s coming home to Louisiana… but not in Baton Rouge. New Orleans will welcome the new Alpha Champion. That makes me better than you. In half the time I will have accomplished what you have and then I won’t have to share a locker room with the thundering herd that is the rest of the General roster. I’ll have my own digs like this one.
You got some decisions to make, CJ… you’ve only had the Alpha Title for two months and you know in your soul you aren’t going to make it to three. If I were a p*ssy like you, I’d call out Battle right here right now for the TV title and forfeit the Alpha Title at the pay per view to me. Why risk it all for a World Title you know won’t happen. Why risk it all when you know… without a shadow of a doubt CJ, I will have it around my waist and cash it in for the World Title in January. Think long and hard CJ.
I guess… you will do what you do with Kaiyah, you know if I wanted her I could have her, but you do your best to ignore reality. CJ Phoenix, keep your girl and your title close, because I can guarantee you one of them is going home to New Orleans October 30. Oh and one more thing…
:: Jason lets out a long exaggerated fart into the air of CJ’s personal locker room…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: No more… no less… that’s what I think about you.
:: Jason throws on a white wife beater and heads out the door confidently to handle whatever business he needs to finish. The camera stays behind a while longer just taking in the scene of Jason O’Neal’s sexcapades in the Alpha Champion’s locker room…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: This guy is going to get me killed one day…
:: Camera fades to black…
:: Three months. Three months is all it took for the above words to be spoken. Jason O’Neal belonged here long before WAR 15. Shit, Jason O’Neal belong here before there was a here. It’s fun to see how the tides of time have turned reality upside down.
Jason O’Neal found himself week after week on a rollercoaster of lack luster opponents to get to nowhere, but corporate bullshit factories at the top of the ladder. One week, one WAR and all of a sudden, Jason O’Neal gets the opportunity to have an opportunity at something that really matters.
Jason has had shots at the TV title before, but given the circumstances of the politics at the top, it was like trying to shoot an elephant with a BB gun. Probably wasn’t going to be too effective against the corporate hacks in Bates and Battle. Luckily, we’ve graduated into a bigger corporate asshat, as World Champion, who comes out of nowhere in time for WAR to win the title. Yes Corey Black…that means you.
Gotta love guys like Black, Belfore, and Flash… hasbeens, big crowd pop, one match left in the tank, then fade into the night for the remainder of the year. WAR 16 they will be back. Oldest trick in the book. Jason O’Neal has been around for three months and only seen promos from these cats for 2 weeks prior to war. Legends belong on a shelf enshrined in bronze. It’s nice not to have TUB of Lard as champion and its nice to have a great direction now, but face it… two weeks built on a legacy of what used to be is not world champion material.
Then there’s now… the chance at a chance at the ALPHA Title. A chance at the chance for a World Title match. Since WAR, and an apparently impressive performance, Jason O’Neal’s stock has risen. As far as the world can see, CJ Phoenix is not a corporate hack. He is not some peon… the little shit worked his way up a very tall ladder to get where he has gotten. Now, Jason is in the middle of that same ladder. Time for some decisions to be made.
So what is the future WcF Alpha Champion doing currently? Well, the camera fades in on Jason O’Neal preparing for the night’s matches the only way he knows how. Now of course the camera isn’t going to show the X rated scenes coming from behind the door, but there is at least three distinct female moaning and squeals. Fun stuff. The camera pans around a bit and shows that indeed we are inside the Stan Sheriff Center in Honolulu, Hawaii. What’s better is the insignia on the door just beside the room number 156, ## Reserved: ALPHA CHAMPION CJ PHEONIX##. The familiar voice of Travis Randolph is in disbelief behind the camera…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: He told me to meet him here. That sonovabitch… Phoenix is going to be livid. (Knocks on the door) Jason, its Travis. Hurry up… I still gotta get this promo to production before deadline.
:: There is no ceasing in the action behind the door. Travis bangs louder… and apparently so does Jason as the screams and moans get louder. Travis knocks again. This time there is a response…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Occupied.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: It’s me Travis.
:: A couple minutes later of dead wasted air… yes … about 3 minutes later there is some shuffling around in the room…
FEMALE: Where’s my shirt…?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Not my problem. All of ya’ll out.
:: The door cracks opens and out struts three of the most beautiful Hawaiian goddesses you have ever seen. They vary in their clothing coverage. One is topless, one is bottomless, and the other is in bra and panties as they stroll out as if they own the place. Jason meets Travis at the door shirtless with a pair of athletic pants on. He shoots Travis a smile as the camera pans back to the bubble butt Hawaiian princesses…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Always one of my favorite places on Earth… Come on in…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Come on in…? F*ck that… I ain’t getting my ass whipped behind being in this locker room.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: So let me get this straight. You would travel to Bolivia and cocoa fields and poppy field in Afghanistan and not into CJ Phoenix’s locker room?
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: You control that world. You don’t control this one.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I still do whatever the hell I want. And besides it’s not like I had Kaiyah in here ass-up. Coulda, but I didn’t. He won’t be that pissed.
TRAVIS RANDOPH: I don’t know…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You wanna get paid or not?
:: The camera heads reluctantly into the locker room of the ALPHA Champion, CJ Phoenix. For the first time Jason’s full frame is in full frame of the camera. He is a specimen that all the men are jealous of and all the women want. Including Kidd Krazzy’s grandma. Jason walks around taking in the place…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: So this is the shit you get when you become a champion?
:: The room is average. Nothing major, but it is private…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Wow. (Less than impressed)… I guess it’s better than having Psychopomp getting the bathroom confused with his locker and shitting everywhere in the general locker room. It smelled like ass for four hours that night.
:: I guess we now know why that one female was bottomless. Jason O’Neal picks up a pink thong from a fruit bowl. Well… uhh… almost a fruit bowl…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: What more do you exect from World Confederate Foundation… f*cking bananas. Really? The only fruit… in the land of pineapples they give the highest profile black athlete on the roster is a bunch of bananas? Funny.
:: Jason smirks and replaces the thong back on the bowl of bananas…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Can we get this show on the road? I still have to get it to production and make sure CJ Phoenix doesn’t find me.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Sure…
:: Jason sits back on the comfy black leather couch that lies in the center of the room. He props his feet up on the coffee table and begins the promo…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: For the first time… I want to say thank you to the administration of the WcF. Eight less than talented guys… I use that term loosely, stand in my way… well somewhere in the vicinity of me getting my hands on some gold fairly soon. The Alpha Title is a spring board to greatness. It would pretty much guarantee me a world title shot three months from October 30. Apparently, according to Zach Davis, I quote un quote belong here now. It’s about time to show everyone why I actually do belong here. Of course I bring the ratings and money, but now it’s time to show them that I am athletic enough to compete at high levels. If I do that, WcF would have a… business professional… as the face of the company and my sales would go through the roof.
:: Just a pause to break up the monotony of talking…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: All eight of these guys realize they are out gunned in this match. Shit six of them may not even show up. I am the Alpha, at least in this match. Kidd Krazzy basically said I was god’s gift to wrestling and that I scare the hell out of him. What kind of pep-talk is that to give to himself when he is trying to psych himself up?
Kidd… I realize this is your first match and I realize you live in your grandparents’ basement. I’m not the best there is or was. But, compared to you, it must be like a dwarf looking at a normal sized human. I am not tall… just taller than you. The top three of us get a shot at the Alpha Title, I guess you will make it there. You and I both know Krazzy… you are Crazy if you think you can beat CJ Phoenix let alone, me.
Speaking of midgets, Shay McKay… the 5’6” giant. The Shame of Ireland. The Dummy of Dublin. I was excited to think that you would be in this match. I figured, someone would actually f*cking hit me before I eliminated all of the other competitors. However, you suck just as much as everyone else. I figured guy from Ireland must have some skills fighting, but no0o0o0o0o the f*cker is just some average wanker blowing the digeridoo.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: You realize that wanker is a British term and digeridoo is Australian and McKay is Irish right?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The whole world does not revolve around McKay… I was just making an asinine joke. I knew the origin of those words… dumbf*ck.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: And my name is Michael Jackson…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Speaking of pedophiles and weirdos… Jaice Wilds, Brian Paine, and Jordan Ciserano. Jaice Wilds is wild enough to take …ahem …Punishment from the the Punisher named Brian Paine and not stop…ahem… coming. Wilds is the most insignificant thing since Bates’ manhood. Furthermore, Paine is another guy who is a self proclaimed comic book nerd and nicknamed himself the Punisher. Guy must be related to Kidd Krazzy… because anyone that lame still lives with grandma. Then there is Jordan Ciserano… probably going to drop a promo right before the deadline, but I just want to remind the world that he dreamed about rolling around with guys in tights since he was 14 years old. What kind of maniac is that? Do we really want him representing this company?
:: Jason smirks about how easy this week is going to be…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Johnny Evil and Joe Farts are two peas in a pod. Both are sitting around with their thumbs up their assess trying to find motivation for this match. Well Smarts… I saw some of the stuff you did in the ring at WAR… hashtag yawn fest. Try to impress me this week…will you? Johnny Evil hasn’t impressed anyone since he won the biggest loser competition in high school… and we aren’t talking about weight loss. He is just a loser.
Last, but not least… Johnny Blaze… the inbred half cousin of Teddy Blaze. Like Krazzy… you too know the significance of having your first match here in the WcF. Unlike me… your second match won’t be on a big stage, unless of course you find a way to hide in the corner this week and squeak into the gauntlet match at the pay per view. Speaking of the pay per view… did you really say, ‘I figured Helloween was the Halloween card?’ No shit. I mean come on where does the administration find these guys...?
:: Jason smirks and takes his feet off the coffee table. He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees. He looks into the camera. The camera catches his chisled body in the frame…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Let the facts be shown to a candid world… the match at the October pay per view is pretty much a one on one match with CJ Phoenix. Therefore, once again to the administration, thank you. CJ, I told the WcF fans in a promo a while back that the only reason I kept you out of the fray is because you never ended up on my radar. It seems the administration sought to put you in the crosshairs. Start praying pretty boy. I know your history… you grew up less than 100 miles from me boy. I know everything there is to know about you and the lack of accomplishments you have made for yourself over there in the capitol city.
You got here in January and you go the ALPHA Title in August. Approximately, seven months. I got here in July and on October 30… it’s coming home to Louisiana… but not in Baton Rouge. New Orleans will welcome the new Alpha Champion. That makes me better than you. In half the time I will have accomplished what you have and then I won’t have to share a locker room with the thundering herd that is the rest of the General roster. I’ll have my own digs like this one.
You got some decisions to make, CJ… you’ve only had the Alpha Title for two months and you know in your soul you aren’t going to make it to three. If I were a p*ssy like you, I’d call out Battle right here right now for the TV title and forfeit the Alpha Title at the pay per view to me. Why risk it all for a World Title you know won’t happen. Why risk it all when you know… without a shadow of a doubt CJ, I will have it around my waist and cash it in for the World Title in January. Think long and hard CJ.
I guess… you will do what you do with Kaiyah, you know if I wanted her I could have her, but you do your best to ignore reality. CJ Phoenix, keep your girl and your title close, because I can guarantee you one of them is going home to New Orleans October 30. Oh and one more thing…
:: Jason lets out a long exaggerated fart into the air of CJ’s personal locker room…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: No more… no less… that’s what I think about you.
:: Jason throws on a white wife beater and heads out the door confidently to handle whatever business he needs to finish. The camera stays behind a while longer just taking in the scene of Jason O’Neal’s sexcapades in the Alpha Champion’s locker room…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: This guy is going to get me killed one day…
:: Camera fades to black…
