Pale Riders Log

[Zombie DankMorris]

RP 1

Deplorables
vs.
Mysterious Pantheon Team


____________________________________________

Pantheon Inter-Steller Rocket Ship

Pale Riders Log: It has been 4 days and we are now finally approaching planet Deplorable; the home for all of Adam Youngs friends that mysterious vanish like Cambodian hookers on Vietimanese airplane. How chinks with slanted eyes can fly planes is a question for another time however. Maybe Thomas Bates can tell me when he gets back from his fencing lesson (read fisting lesson because he is the Queer on Queer street).


* ZMAC and Sanchez are in full space garb, minus ZMAC helmet because he wants to see how long he can hold his breath despite the warnings from Sanchez and the fact that science doesn’t work like that. They sit in front of the ships controls looking out a large view port that is their window to the vast blackness of space. *


Sanchez: Z, what are you doing?

ZMAC: writing a captains log.

Sanchez: How many space ships have you captained?

ZMAC: More ships than you. Space is just the sea in five dimensions.

Sanchez: How many ships have you captained?

ZMAC: Nine. Nine ships, a pool raft and a seal that I thought was a ship. But I know when I ask you how asses of grown men you rode, the answer would be in the thousands, billions, even. That’s why I’m captain.

Sanchez: I told you, I am a professional fighter.

ZMAC: The only difference between a professional and a prostitute is that the professional is stupid enough to pay taxes.

Sanchez: Where, where do you come up with this shit?

** Commander Corey Black comes over the inter-com between the rocket ship and Pantheon Space Station Alpha. **

Commander Corey Black: Sanchez, whats your ETA with planet Deplorable?

Sanchez: I don’t know. You guys never trained me for this. If you want me to break a mans arm or leg, I got chu fam but flying into space -

ZMAC: That’s why I’m the captain!

Sanchez: You aint the captain of shit, you been banging Bonnie Blue in the cryo pod while Jay Omegas looks on in sheer terror, tears freezing to his face N’ shit.

ZMAC: I went to the Kirk school of bang bitches first, ask question later.

Commander Corey Black: So like what, three days?

ZMAC: Give or take, depends if space banditos board the ship or not.

Commander Corey Black: Why would that happen?

ZMAC: I don’t know. Polars been cashing us for a couple of Par-Secs and he seems pretty upset. I think its because I’ve been smoking his stash that he left behind. Its good thing that he cant catch team star scream.

* 6 God interrupts the transmission. *

6God: Fuck you Sea-Mac! You stole that team name from me! I wrote it on the fridge so I wouldn’t forget it and you fucking stole it.

ZMAC: You cant steal ideas, only things; like food.

6God: So it was you that stole my lunch! You Thieven Steven!

ZMAC: Now 6, I to be fair, following Jewish law, I didn’t steal. I ate it right there.

6God: Its Kabalah and I only did it for like half an hour. You’re thinking of Thursday, she’s into that Hippie Crap.

Thursday( in the background): I’m into Zen Nihilism.

Commander Corey Black: Whats that?

Thursday: It’s the Philosophy that you are one with nothingness.

Commander Corey Black: Sounds brutal.

ZMAC: You dudes have fun with that. I’m going to discover the philosophy with this blunt then get back to banging Bonnie.

Sanchez: We should talk about the Deplorables though. I mean, they are our opponents.

ZMAC: Adam young should just create a Pyramid scheme. He’s always getting his friends and friends of friends involved with this company. Actually, Seth probably runs it like that just to doop Yung Adam into signing his friends up. These two cats, we don’t even know their name. They have no official spot on the roster, they have no finish, no music, no nothing. They exist to do the job to Pantheon like everyone else in this company and everyone else in this company should look to this shitty rag team of two cardboard cut outs and take notes. Just sign off the roster ASAP. Cut your losses, take the contract hit and get the fuck away because every week, WE are going to get worse. Just because its two scrubs doesn’t mean that we arnt going to kill them. They might see us fucking around in space and think:

“Fuck these nigs be weak AF.”

But such just aint the truth. We are fucking around in space because aint no one give a shit about two dudes that signed up, saw Pantheon reform and were like,’fuck it, lets bounce before they get us.’

WELP, we got em. We done tied up Team Deplorables and we gonna break their necks. We gonna send them out to the fucking big Yung Adam TDI Pay Check in the sky. Collecting that welfare cheddah like they renamed themselves to Ritz cracker bits. Them Juggalo faggots be like, ‘ see, we aint impressed.’ And LOL Fuck you FGTs, aint no one impressed by your grease paint faggotry either. We comin’ fah all you limp dick mother fuckers up in here. One of those team be walkin’ out with Trios belts but Pantheon be kummin’ up on that shit quicker than Bonnie Blue on my dick.

Lighting fast.

First, we got go through Adam Youngs friends and Team Star Scream Alpha will be rumbling through on their way to tag or trios gold.

* 6God interrupts ZMAC. *

6God: Fuck you! I will not be relegated to the Star Scream Beta team! We Will be Team Star Scream and you’ll just have to pick a different name.

ZMAC: We don’t even need a name. We be ZMAC and Sanchez of Pantheon Star Fleet and we will run through the WCF roster just team Star Scream will. But we about to settle into another deep freeze before landing on planet deplorable.

Deuces Bitch