Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2016 17:00:14 GMT -5
When He Met Joey Flash, His name changed to Joey Smoke
Gemini Battle lets him address him as "Grayson"
He no sells the Bates Boot...No matter who delivers it
The only act that could upstage the Pantheon at War
He is..
THE MAGNIFICENT BASTARD ADRIAN ARCHER
Scene 1 "The Pep Talk"
Location: Madison Square Garden in the "back"
The members of Zero Tolerance come into the shot, walking to their dressing room single file. First, we see Salem Shepard, vaping on his iStick Pro Mod, angrily blowing clouds of vapor as we walks past the shot. Jason Cash finishes a bottle of Jack then throws it against the wall in frustration, where it shatters in a million pieces. Crazy J is seen carrying a smart phone, transfixed by what is on the screen so much so he stumbles into the door to the dressing room. What sounds like a chicken making noises of pain and suffering and a moaning man can be heard faintly coming from the device. The last man to enter the dressing room is Adrian Archer. Unlike the others, he is smiling like he had won War. As the audience accompanies Archer into the dressing room, the men take various seats. Cash pulls out a flask, takes a swig, then pulls his can of Skoal from his pants pocket, curves his finger into a hook, gathering a large amount of tobacco, and lines his cheek with it. He spits his excess juice into a custom made ZT Spitoon next to his chair. Salem has his head in his hands and curses under his breath. He admonishes Crazy J..
SS: I shoulda won that fuckin thing man, ...I had Odin pinned like four fuckin times!!!
J: Holy Shit! No! No don't do it Jasmine..
SS: I dont care, Jaymz is still bigger and better than Odin...
J: HOLY SHIT!
Adrian is the only one standing. He smiles as he addresses his stablemates
AA: Guys that was great wasn't it?
JC: You damn right. Ww whooped wholesale ass out there
AA: So one of us did not win War. So the whole ending smelled like something from 1996. And so what if the Number one contender and the World Champion are in the same faction. Guys..Thats not what people will be talking about tomorrow! Hell, did you see those fans throwing trash in the ring? They don't like these guys at all! But when it was announced that the Magnificent Bastard had joined forces with the MIGHTY ZERO TOLERANCE..Not only did the crowd go nuts..Guys, by the numbers, this was the BIGGEST WAR EVENT EVER! Big enough to cover half of Seth's bar tabs..and pay for Sarah's gender reassignment! So Salem..She'll be all woman for you!
SS: She already is all woman, one day she gonna be mine!!!!
AA: And Crazy J, now that I am part of Zero Tolerance, well, I can show you a whole new world of the Internet! I'm going to need my phone back now..
J reluctantly hands the phone back. Adrian look at it, shudders, and clears the screen just as the whinny of a horse is heard.
AA: And Cash! Man, we did some damage out there today! For that, I will give you unlimited access to my MAGNIFICENT liquor cabinet which includes fine cigars! Which leads me to my next announcement! Boys, we are rich, and will only get richer because Erik Black has appointed me Head Media Consultant for ZT Inc!
JC: Well, aint you jus movin right on up! You and Erik prolly got a lot in common
SS: He only the media guy cause he dresses like Erik. These two guys gonna go buy suites together and shit like that, ...you know they will. They gonna look good on TV tho.
J: Yeah they all polished and shit..Shiny..Like Jasmine..Poor Jasmine..
AA: Also, I've decided now that my business interests are fully invested in ZT, I have arranged a move to Michigan! Say hello to your new neighbor guys!!!! And yes Jason, I am bringing my Liquor Cabinet
JC: Liquor cabnet? Hell I need room for them extra bottles a shine I been makin
SS: I think Slash the snake that I released ate the neighbors dog.....but I havent been home in a few days. I should ask Claire.
AA: We got a lot of good things coming our way boys. Tonight was only the beginning! Who cares about Pantheon? ZT is up and coming!
J: Is it just me or Does Pantheon sound like a gay shampoo... like flash would be the spokesperson and he would be like my hair looks so good thanks to Pantheon shampoo milked from virgin boys dicks by 6god. today this shampoo would cost you 19.99 but if you act in the next 10 minutes we will double the order and give you twice the boy seeds and we will throw in a Wade Moor Cum catching towel it looks like a beard but with the Wade Moor Cum Catching Towel you can catch way "moor" cum.
SS: Well, thats only if Flash approved of SuxGod doing that....
AA: I gotta go back to L.A. tie up some loose ends. I should be at the compound in a few days. Hit me up if you need anything.
SS: LA? bring me some of that good weed. not that mexican brick shit with them sticks and beans in there. The medical kind, that has the THC percentage label on it.
J: Go to Chatsworth and Van Nuys and take pictures for me?
JC: Just don't go running again At..
The men looked less than happy about the results. As Adrian left, he was rather pleased. Sure he had gotten pinned by Bishop. But he eliminated Half of The Brotherhood! And sure the whole Pantheon thing would probably overshadow what will become the most MAGNIFICENT alliance ever seen in the history of this great sport, but over time, War will be remembered as the day Zero Tolerance began their March of dominance. A new job, a new life. A new house in Bloomington Hills Michigan near his new associates. Yes things were looking up for the Bastard! But as he entered his rented Mercedes to go to the airport..he knew his night was not over. Not by a long shot. He couldn't wait to get home.
Scene 2: Sunday Drivin.
Location: Various Parts of Los Angeles..and beyond
When he arrived at his apartment, Adrian showered changed into a black suit and starched white button down shirt, and was out to step into the night in no time at all. Despite the long flight, and competing just a few hours before, Adrian was surprisingly wired. So many thoughts racing through his head like Matchbox cars on a Toy Track..Before he left, a message appeared on his cell phone. The Slam card was announced..And he and his brothers would be in the main event for the newly established Trios Title..In an instant, his thoughts of Pantheon, the despicable Odin Balfore, and the overall greasiness of the "Invaders" and "Part Timers" that had slithered under WCF's doorway like flood waters eventually engulfing the room, left him at the prospect of his first title in WCF against some opponents he was VERY familiar with. Still, he needed to take a drive..
Adrian loves the sound of his own voice. Being a broadcaster, he learned to appreciate its unique tone, and quite enjoyed listening to and talking to himself. Especially with all of the change going on. Escrow had just cleared on not one, but two properties, ensuring Zero Tolerance had its own Neighborhood, and Adrian had room to do what he wanted. 2 Acres, 2 houses. He couldn't have imagined this years ago. His mind wandered as he entered the well lit parking garage. He would miss this place, miss the friends he made here, but he was off to a new life. It was still quite a change for a man who had nothing but change happen for the past 6 months. The past 2 years. He thought when he sold SlamCast that would be the end of his troubles. He and his wife would take their kids and move somewhere far away from their problems. But then she divorced him and took their kids. Last he heard, she had taken them from her parents and moved out of state, a consequence of the last Damian Kaine stunt. He would pay for that.
Adrian stepped into his Lincoln Continental, pressed the button, and tuned into one of his favorite stations.
He settled in and started to drive. From the parking garage, he turned onto Figueroa. A few blocks down, he drove by skid row, which is kind of how he pictured Bishops encampment.
AA: A bunch of dirty, smelly, mentally deranged people with no other hope but this. The only difference is that The Plague and his family share a mansion on a hill, above all of their freaks and poor brainwashed, lost souls. While our opponents, Psychopomp, Necurat, and Kaine all sleep huddled together in one room...Yes, they have shelter, but there is definitely a disparity in how they live. And the great thing is, these Nimrods think they are saved.
He takes a turn onto the 10 freeway heading east. He is going to where things make the most sense. Where he can leave the world behind and focus inward and outward into the nothingness for answers. A place with nothing around but an old Main Street of a once bustling Desert town about 2 hours away from anywhere. As he navigated a thankfully empty freeway at this time of the morning, the darkest hours before dawn, Adrian took a moment to reflect on Damian Kaine.
AA: Oh Damian..We've had one of the best feuds of 2016. From the moment we broke in, when I took our friend Chris Justice and ruined him so badly he could not come back, and when you suicide dove into people who decided never to return, we have both made a name for ourselves. And when Kevin approached us to be a part of his Brotherhood, I must admit, I was uneasy about the decision. I was not in my right mind when I first agreed to the Purge Experiment. When I finally came to my senses, I knew you were too far gone to try and save. I had to rip the bandage off the festering wound so it could heal properly. Ever since then, you have served two masters. Your loyalty to Bishop tested by the powerful draw to try and impress me. You made up stories, tried to get under my skin, and when you failed, you tried harder. Even at War, when you scored the first elimination, I could see you looking around the arena for approval. But despite quite a feat, nobody popped. Nobody clapped. It was then that I knew the WCF Universe could see your irrelevance. Something I have been saying all along. Damien, you are troubled. Furthermore, you now have what small insignificant little brain left being scrubbed thoroughly by your messiah Kevin Bishop. Sure he talks a good game. But you were still eliminated at War. By ME! And on Sunday at Slam, with those Trios Titles on the line, I will make sure those belts come to the home of Magnificence! And that your skinny, malnourished waist will never EVER touch Gold in the WCF if I have anything to say about it! You know, I've been wanting to try out The Beholder on you. After you tap, maybe you will see how futile it is to pick a fight with me, and go lick your wounds behind Karmas skirt.
Somewhere, somehow along the line, Adrian picked up some attention. Maybe it was a busted taillight, perhaps a run stop sign, or perhaps he was a few MPH over the speed limit and a cop low on his quota had nothing better to do, but we see a black and white, sirens blazing, following Adrian. However, Adrian is in a trance. He is in his zone. Barring a nuclear explosion, Adrian is not stopping.
AA: And then theres Dion Necurat. The Urban Gladiator! Wow..I remember those days when shitty gimmicks were handed out. Hell, I had one. Triple A..Haha..Seth want me to sell insurance or become a Mexican! Ha..Point is, this goofus looks like Louie CK had a child with Groundskeeper Willie and the handsome fell out with the afterbirth. As for his wrestling skill..Meh..Every company needs mid carders. And somehow this armor clad dunce thinks that joining up with the Kool Aid Brigade is going to make his career soar. The one thing holding back his career..Is him. He is pure garbage, just like the cans he uses to craft his suit. And that sword? Please. Just because you go to Equinnox and buy a sword does not mean that you know how to use it. Besides, I saw the edges. Round as your mamas backside. And you need to remove the safety tip off the top before using it in promos..Numbnuts. Point being, enjoy being the main event Gaydiator. It will be the last time you EVER get to this level again. Oh, and don't feel too bad about how I eliminated you and your butt brother back to back. Only difference on Sunday will be which one of you pathetic paramecium will be snapped into the Beholder..Or maybe it will be the Matriarch of Masturbation PsychoPump.
Unbeknownst to Archer, 2 more cars have joined the chase. Now 3 of CHP's finest have taken up 3 lanes of the 10 freeway..
Yes, PsychoPump..the most undeserved push I have ever seen. This guy doesen't know his ass from a hole in the ground. It takes 2 options at dinner to confuse him. Ficken or Chish? This is one class a idiot, so it is no surprise that he has joined up with the Kool Aide Brigade as another soldier in The Plaques moronic clan. But I will admit, Psychopomp does have a victory over me at King of the Deathmatch. Only because he planted some of the fans and knew I had an allergy to peanuts. Granted, all is fair in a Deathmatch, but he beat me in what must have been the clown prince moment in all of professional wrestling. This affair is for gold, the stakes higher, and a different Adrian Archer than you met before. Welcome to the end of your push Nimrod!
Meanwhile, throught the magic of media, we switch scenes to Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. The other 3 members of Zero Tolerance are standing on Crazy Js front porch. What they are witnessing is truly extraordinary.
JC: Well goddamn..He went and did it didnt he?
SS: Is that Legal?
J: Well, there goes the neighborhood
What they are witnessing is the aforementioned older neighbor whom once owned a cat named Mr. Cuddles being moved from his house. His possessions are being boxed and loaded into a large truck with very little care. The man protests loudly as he is dragged from his home by authorities.
Cop: Sir, we acted on a tip and found thousands of pornographic movies on your hard drive..But that was not the disturbing thing..The variety..Atrocious!
Salem and Jason look at J
J: WHAT???
JC: DID YOU USE THAT SUMBITCHNS COMPUTER?
SS: And what were you looking at for him to...
J: I'm sorry
JC: Don;t apologize to me man..Apologize to him..
Old man: I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!
As he gets loaded into a police car, the old man's son signs a piece of paper, signing the house over to its new owner. As soon as the ink dries, a large earth mover rams smack into the house, demolishing it immediately. A team of designers and architects walks the grounds, the authorities leave..
J: That Bastard...
Lisa:(From inside the house) GUYS? You might want to see this!
They go inside and see a police chase. This time, 25 cars are stacked behind a single black Lincoln Continental. The news chopper zooms in on the designer plate..MAGBSTRD
JC: THE HELL...
Jason quickly gets on the phone..Through the magic of media, we are transported back inside Archers Lincoln..He is still listening to his radio full blast and feels his phone vibrate..
Archer: HILLBILLY DELUXE! WHAT IS UP?
JC: What you askin me fer! You the one got damn near half the CHP on yer ass!
Archer looks into his rear view mirror. His car is equipped with a super sound deafening package so he could not even hear the cops. Archer pulls over right away, right near his favorite desert spot.
Archer: It appears we have a misunderstanding! Fellows, I have this all under control. I will see you at tomorrows board meeting! TA!
Adrian hangs up the phone..All of a sudden, he looks down..YES! In his center console, he has found something that will make this all better! A familiar song from long ago is heard..
DOO DOO DO DOO DOO DOO DOO WAHHHHHH
Adrian pulls the sleeve of Mentos out of his center console and pops one into his mouth. His MAGNIFICENT smile radiated with a *DING* sound..
*IT DOESEN'T MATTER WHAT COMES FRESH GOES BETTER IN LIFE
WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIFE!*
He steps out of the car, hands up, still holding the sleeve of Mentos..
Cop: HE'S GOT A WEAPON!!!!
All of a sudden, a hail of gunfire sends Adrian scurrying behind his car..Now with Half a package of Mentos with a scorched tip. His panic Gives way to a smile as he pops another piece of the Magnificent Candy
*NOTHING GETS TO YOU, STAYING FRESH STAYING COOL
WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIFE!*
Adrian throws his wallet and papers from Slam out from behind the car door. An officer inspects them, laughs, and then orders the other officers to stand down. He comes out with the officer motioning him to meet the others.
*FRESH GOES BETTER..MENTOS FRESHNESS
FRESH GOES BETTER WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIFE!*
Adrian points the singed package of Mentos at the helicopter checking out the situation. Officers are all around him smiling and laughing. Meanwhile, back at Js House, the boys of ZT are all in shock as the beeping of backhoes and crushing sounds can be heard next door..
JC: MOTHER FUCKER..
SS: Damn dude..cops just..
J: Now THAT WAS MAGNIFICENT!
Scene 3: Back To Work
Adrian adjusted his tie in the Hotel Suite Mirror. His home would not be ready for another 2 weeks, so he decided to stay at the finest Hotel next to ZT's corporate headquarters. Not only would Zero Tolerance be counting on him for his wrestling ability, but also his Magnificence with the media. He spoke with himself once again.
Adrian: So here it is, day one of another MAGNIFICENT adventure! And at the end of this week, the chance to earn Gold. But not just any gold..TRIOS GOLD! The best have held the trios title, and the new wave of superstar, Zero Tolerance, will for certain be victorious over Kevin Bishops unwashed errand boys. They will always be losers, second tier, while Zero Tolerance will continue to dominate. With this victory, Zero Tolerance will elevate to the highest level of any group in the Dub! But for today..Its showtime..
THIS HAS BEEN A PRESENTATION OF ZTTV!
Gemini Battle lets him address him as "Grayson"
He no sells the Bates Boot...No matter who delivers it
The only act that could upstage the Pantheon at War
He is..
THE MAGNIFICENT BASTARD ADRIAN ARCHER
Scene 1 "The Pep Talk"
Location: Madison Square Garden in the "back"
The members of Zero Tolerance come into the shot, walking to their dressing room single file. First, we see Salem Shepard, vaping on his iStick Pro Mod, angrily blowing clouds of vapor as we walks past the shot. Jason Cash finishes a bottle of Jack then throws it against the wall in frustration, where it shatters in a million pieces. Crazy J is seen carrying a smart phone, transfixed by what is on the screen so much so he stumbles into the door to the dressing room. What sounds like a chicken making noises of pain and suffering and a moaning man can be heard faintly coming from the device. The last man to enter the dressing room is Adrian Archer. Unlike the others, he is smiling like he had won War. As the audience accompanies Archer into the dressing room, the men take various seats. Cash pulls out a flask, takes a swig, then pulls his can of Skoal from his pants pocket, curves his finger into a hook, gathering a large amount of tobacco, and lines his cheek with it. He spits his excess juice into a custom made ZT Spitoon next to his chair. Salem has his head in his hands and curses under his breath. He admonishes Crazy J..
SS: I shoulda won that fuckin thing man, ...I had Odin pinned like four fuckin times!!!
J: Holy Shit! No! No don't do it Jasmine..
SS: I dont care, Jaymz is still bigger and better than Odin...
J: HOLY SHIT!
Adrian is the only one standing. He smiles as he addresses his stablemates
AA: Guys that was great wasn't it?
JC: You damn right. Ww whooped wholesale ass out there
AA: So one of us did not win War. So the whole ending smelled like something from 1996. And so what if the Number one contender and the World Champion are in the same faction. Guys..Thats not what people will be talking about tomorrow! Hell, did you see those fans throwing trash in the ring? They don't like these guys at all! But when it was announced that the Magnificent Bastard had joined forces with the MIGHTY ZERO TOLERANCE..Not only did the crowd go nuts..Guys, by the numbers, this was the BIGGEST WAR EVENT EVER! Big enough to cover half of Seth's bar tabs..and pay for Sarah's gender reassignment! So Salem..She'll be all woman for you!
SS: She already is all woman, one day she gonna be mine!!!!
AA: And Crazy J, now that I am part of Zero Tolerance, well, I can show you a whole new world of the Internet! I'm going to need my phone back now..
J reluctantly hands the phone back. Adrian look at it, shudders, and clears the screen just as the whinny of a horse is heard.
AA: And Cash! Man, we did some damage out there today! For that, I will give you unlimited access to my MAGNIFICENT liquor cabinet which includes fine cigars! Which leads me to my next announcement! Boys, we are rich, and will only get richer because Erik Black has appointed me Head Media Consultant for ZT Inc!
JC: Well, aint you jus movin right on up! You and Erik prolly got a lot in common
SS: He only the media guy cause he dresses like Erik. These two guys gonna go buy suites together and shit like that, ...you know they will. They gonna look good on TV tho.
J: Yeah they all polished and shit..Shiny..Like Jasmine..Poor Jasmine..
AA: Also, I've decided now that my business interests are fully invested in ZT, I have arranged a move to Michigan! Say hello to your new neighbor guys!!!! And yes Jason, I am bringing my Liquor Cabinet
JC: Liquor cabnet? Hell I need room for them extra bottles a shine I been makin
SS: I think Slash the snake that I released ate the neighbors dog.....but I havent been home in a few days. I should ask Claire.
AA: We got a lot of good things coming our way boys. Tonight was only the beginning! Who cares about Pantheon? ZT is up and coming!
J: Is it just me or Does Pantheon sound like a gay shampoo... like flash would be the spokesperson and he would be like my hair looks so good thanks to Pantheon shampoo milked from virgin boys dicks by 6god. today this shampoo would cost you 19.99 but if you act in the next 10 minutes we will double the order and give you twice the boy seeds and we will throw in a Wade Moor Cum catching towel it looks like a beard but with the Wade Moor Cum Catching Towel you can catch way "moor" cum.
SS: Well, thats only if Flash approved of SuxGod doing that....
AA: I gotta go back to L.A. tie up some loose ends. I should be at the compound in a few days. Hit me up if you need anything.
SS: LA? bring me some of that good weed. not that mexican brick shit with them sticks and beans in there. The medical kind, that has the THC percentage label on it.
J: Go to Chatsworth and Van Nuys and take pictures for me?
JC: Just don't go running again At..
The men looked less than happy about the results. As Adrian left, he was rather pleased. Sure he had gotten pinned by Bishop. But he eliminated Half of The Brotherhood! And sure the whole Pantheon thing would probably overshadow what will become the most MAGNIFICENT alliance ever seen in the history of this great sport, but over time, War will be remembered as the day Zero Tolerance began their March of dominance. A new job, a new life. A new house in Bloomington Hills Michigan near his new associates. Yes things were looking up for the Bastard! But as he entered his rented Mercedes to go to the airport..he knew his night was not over. Not by a long shot. He couldn't wait to get home.
Scene 2: Sunday Drivin.
Location: Various Parts of Los Angeles..and beyond
When he arrived at his apartment, Adrian showered changed into a black suit and starched white button down shirt, and was out to step into the night in no time at all. Despite the long flight, and competing just a few hours before, Adrian was surprisingly wired. So many thoughts racing through his head like Matchbox cars on a Toy Track..Before he left, a message appeared on his cell phone. The Slam card was announced..And he and his brothers would be in the main event for the newly established Trios Title..In an instant, his thoughts of Pantheon, the despicable Odin Balfore, and the overall greasiness of the "Invaders" and "Part Timers" that had slithered under WCF's doorway like flood waters eventually engulfing the room, left him at the prospect of his first title in WCF against some opponents he was VERY familiar with. Still, he needed to take a drive..
Adrian loves the sound of his own voice. Being a broadcaster, he learned to appreciate its unique tone, and quite enjoyed listening to and talking to himself. Especially with all of the change going on. Escrow had just cleared on not one, but two properties, ensuring Zero Tolerance had its own Neighborhood, and Adrian had room to do what he wanted. 2 Acres, 2 houses. He couldn't have imagined this years ago. His mind wandered as he entered the well lit parking garage. He would miss this place, miss the friends he made here, but he was off to a new life. It was still quite a change for a man who had nothing but change happen for the past 6 months. The past 2 years. He thought when he sold SlamCast that would be the end of his troubles. He and his wife would take their kids and move somewhere far away from their problems. But then she divorced him and took their kids. Last he heard, she had taken them from her parents and moved out of state, a consequence of the last Damian Kaine stunt. He would pay for that.
Adrian stepped into his Lincoln Continental, pressed the button, and tuned into one of his favorite stations.
He settled in and started to drive. From the parking garage, he turned onto Figueroa. A few blocks down, he drove by skid row, which is kind of how he pictured Bishops encampment.
AA: A bunch of dirty, smelly, mentally deranged people with no other hope but this. The only difference is that The Plague and his family share a mansion on a hill, above all of their freaks and poor brainwashed, lost souls. While our opponents, Psychopomp, Necurat, and Kaine all sleep huddled together in one room...Yes, they have shelter, but there is definitely a disparity in how they live. And the great thing is, these Nimrods think they are saved.
He takes a turn onto the 10 freeway heading east. He is going to where things make the most sense. Where he can leave the world behind and focus inward and outward into the nothingness for answers. A place with nothing around but an old Main Street of a once bustling Desert town about 2 hours away from anywhere. As he navigated a thankfully empty freeway at this time of the morning, the darkest hours before dawn, Adrian took a moment to reflect on Damian Kaine.
AA: Oh Damian..We've had one of the best feuds of 2016. From the moment we broke in, when I took our friend Chris Justice and ruined him so badly he could not come back, and when you suicide dove into people who decided never to return, we have both made a name for ourselves. And when Kevin approached us to be a part of his Brotherhood, I must admit, I was uneasy about the decision. I was not in my right mind when I first agreed to the Purge Experiment. When I finally came to my senses, I knew you were too far gone to try and save. I had to rip the bandage off the festering wound so it could heal properly. Ever since then, you have served two masters. Your loyalty to Bishop tested by the powerful draw to try and impress me. You made up stories, tried to get under my skin, and when you failed, you tried harder. Even at War, when you scored the first elimination, I could see you looking around the arena for approval. But despite quite a feat, nobody popped. Nobody clapped. It was then that I knew the WCF Universe could see your irrelevance. Something I have been saying all along. Damien, you are troubled. Furthermore, you now have what small insignificant little brain left being scrubbed thoroughly by your messiah Kevin Bishop. Sure he talks a good game. But you were still eliminated at War. By ME! And on Sunday at Slam, with those Trios Titles on the line, I will make sure those belts come to the home of Magnificence! And that your skinny, malnourished waist will never EVER touch Gold in the WCF if I have anything to say about it! You know, I've been wanting to try out The Beholder on you. After you tap, maybe you will see how futile it is to pick a fight with me, and go lick your wounds behind Karmas skirt.
Somewhere, somehow along the line, Adrian picked up some attention. Maybe it was a busted taillight, perhaps a run stop sign, or perhaps he was a few MPH over the speed limit and a cop low on his quota had nothing better to do, but we see a black and white, sirens blazing, following Adrian. However, Adrian is in a trance. He is in his zone. Barring a nuclear explosion, Adrian is not stopping.
AA: And then theres Dion Necurat. The Urban Gladiator! Wow..I remember those days when shitty gimmicks were handed out. Hell, I had one. Triple A..Haha..Seth want me to sell insurance or become a Mexican! Ha..Point is, this goofus looks like Louie CK had a child with Groundskeeper Willie and the handsome fell out with the afterbirth. As for his wrestling skill..Meh..Every company needs mid carders. And somehow this armor clad dunce thinks that joining up with the Kool Aid Brigade is going to make his career soar. The one thing holding back his career..Is him. He is pure garbage, just like the cans he uses to craft his suit. And that sword? Please. Just because you go to Equinnox and buy a sword does not mean that you know how to use it. Besides, I saw the edges. Round as your mamas backside. And you need to remove the safety tip off the top before using it in promos..Numbnuts. Point being, enjoy being the main event Gaydiator. It will be the last time you EVER get to this level again. Oh, and don't feel too bad about how I eliminated you and your butt brother back to back. Only difference on Sunday will be which one of you pathetic paramecium will be snapped into the Beholder..Or maybe it will be the Matriarch of Masturbation PsychoPump.
Unbeknownst to Archer, 2 more cars have joined the chase. Now 3 of CHP's finest have taken up 3 lanes of the 10 freeway..
Yes, PsychoPump..the most undeserved push I have ever seen. This guy doesen't know his ass from a hole in the ground. It takes 2 options at dinner to confuse him. Ficken or Chish? This is one class a idiot, so it is no surprise that he has joined up with the Kool Aide Brigade as another soldier in The Plaques moronic clan. But I will admit, Psychopomp does have a victory over me at King of the Deathmatch. Only because he planted some of the fans and knew I had an allergy to peanuts. Granted, all is fair in a Deathmatch, but he beat me in what must have been the clown prince moment in all of professional wrestling. This affair is for gold, the stakes higher, and a different Adrian Archer than you met before. Welcome to the end of your push Nimrod!
Meanwhile, throught the magic of media, we switch scenes to Bloomfield Hills, Michigan. The other 3 members of Zero Tolerance are standing on Crazy Js front porch. What they are witnessing is truly extraordinary.
JC: Well goddamn..He went and did it didnt he?
SS: Is that Legal?
J: Well, there goes the neighborhood
What they are witnessing is the aforementioned older neighbor whom once owned a cat named Mr. Cuddles being moved from his house. His possessions are being boxed and loaded into a large truck with very little care. The man protests loudly as he is dragged from his home by authorities.
Cop: Sir, we acted on a tip and found thousands of pornographic movies on your hard drive..But that was not the disturbing thing..The variety..Atrocious!
Salem and Jason look at J
J: WHAT???
JC: DID YOU USE THAT SUMBITCHNS COMPUTER?
SS: And what were you looking at for him to...
J: I'm sorry
JC: Don;t apologize to me man..Apologize to him..
Old man: I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!
As he gets loaded into a police car, the old man's son signs a piece of paper, signing the house over to its new owner. As soon as the ink dries, a large earth mover rams smack into the house, demolishing it immediately. A team of designers and architects walks the grounds, the authorities leave..
J: That Bastard...
Lisa:(From inside the house) GUYS? You might want to see this!
They go inside and see a police chase. This time, 25 cars are stacked behind a single black Lincoln Continental. The news chopper zooms in on the designer plate..MAGBSTRD
JC: THE HELL...
Jason quickly gets on the phone..Through the magic of media, we are transported back inside Archers Lincoln..He is still listening to his radio full blast and feels his phone vibrate..
Archer: HILLBILLY DELUXE! WHAT IS UP?
JC: What you askin me fer! You the one got damn near half the CHP on yer ass!
Archer looks into his rear view mirror. His car is equipped with a super sound deafening package so he could not even hear the cops. Archer pulls over right away, right near his favorite desert spot.
Archer: It appears we have a misunderstanding! Fellows, I have this all under control. I will see you at tomorrows board meeting! TA!
Adrian hangs up the phone..All of a sudden, he looks down..YES! In his center console, he has found something that will make this all better! A familiar song from long ago is heard..
DOO DOO DO DOO DOO DOO DOO WAHHHHHH
Adrian pulls the sleeve of Mentos out of his center console and pops one into his mouth. His MAGNIFICENT smile radiated with a *DING* sound..
*IT DOESEN'T MATTER WHAT COMES FRESH GOES BETTER IN LIFE
WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIFE!*
He steps out of the car, hands up, still holding the sleeve of Mentos..
Cop: HE'S GOT A WEAPON!!!!
All of a sudden, a hail of gunfire sends Adrian scurrying behind his car..Now with Half a package of Mentos with a scorched tip. His panic Gives way to a smile as he pops another piece of the Magnificent Candy
*NOTHING GETS TO YOU, STAYING FRESH STAYING COOL
WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIFE!*
Adrian throws his wallet and papers from Slam out from behind the car door. An officer inspects them, laughs, and then orders the other officers to stand down. He comes out with the officer motioning him to meet the others.
*FRESH GOES BETTER..MENTOS FRESHNESS
FRESH GOES BETTER WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIFE!*
Adrian points the singed package of Mentos at the helicopter checking out the situation. Officers are all around him smiling and laughing. Meanwhile, back at Js House, the boys of ZT are all in shock as the beeping of backhoes and crushing sounds can be heard next door..
JC: MOTHER FUCKER..
SS: Damn dude..cops just..
J: Now THAT WAS MAGNIFICENT!
Scene 3: Back To Work
Adrian adjusted his tie in the Hotel Suite Mirror. His home would not be ready for another 2 weeks, so he decided to stay at the finest Hotel next to ZT's corporate headquarters. Not only would Zero Tolerance be counting on him for his wrestling ability, but also his Magnificence with the media. He spoke with himself once again.
Adrian: So here it is, day one of another MAGNIFICENT adventure! And at the end of this week, the chance to earn Gold. But not just any gold..TRIOS GOLD! The best have held the trios title, and the new wave of superstar, Zero Tolerance, will for certain be victorious over Kevin Bishops unwashed errand boys. They will always be losers, second tier, while Zero Tolerance will continue to dominate. With this victory, Zero Tolerance will elevate to the highest level of any group in the Dub! But for today..Its showtime..
THIS HAS BEEN A PRESENTATION OF ZTTV!
