Post by Sarah Twilight on Oct 1, 2016 16:49:06 GMT -5
(OOC: I have been working 12+ hours a day for 2 weeks now in what is supposed to be the 'slow season.' Anyhow, this RP is very much not finished, I have bits of this and that in other places that were meant to go into this and complete it as the RP i envisioned but it's just not going to come out, I don't have enough time as I was called into work even today. Anyhow I promised not to no-show and I refuse to especially since I have been writing things for this. But, obviously I'm not going to get 2 RPs completed as I can't even finish up this one. But here it is, it's unfinished and I am sorry for that. But posting this is better than no showing. My apologies again. Just a rough time to RP, and I didn't expect to have such time constraints, most of this was written as pieces to be placed into a finished RP so yeah, again I'm sorry. Just refuse to no-show this.)
"Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it."
"The best weapon against an enemy ... is another enemy."
The battlefield is at this moment being prepared as every man and woman readies themselves for war. A proving grounds where the strong shall thrive and the weak shall be snuffed out. Yet, even among the strong there is weakness ... even among the mightiest of warriors there is hidden an Achilles heel. Those whom are battle tested and proven worthy will wage on until there is nothing left to give. In the end of it all, only one shall stand among the mound of decay and defeat ... as its victor. Dreams will be shattered, blood shall be shed and bones shall be crushed, all in the name of victory. This war ... shall take place for but a single night. One glorious battle to determine the fate and the direction of WCF heading into One. Many have laid their groundwork and set their expectations for this single evening. Mentally, they have focused ... physically they have exhausted and exceeded their limitations. They have battered and tortured their own minds and bodies, attempting to overcome the trepidation plaguing them in a bid for success on one .. single .. night.
That is the path of the many. But for the one ... war has been waging on long before this night would ever come. In combat, allies become enemies ... and enemies may suddenly become allies for a brief moment. Friendships are strained, and perhaps completely broken as the conflict of warfare drives at the very essence of sanity. This burden, this strain of morality and conscience is not present for the one whom does not keep friends. It is far removed from the one who holds no remorse, no conscience guilt, and no hesitation for what they must do in order to achieve what is desired.
A war has been ongoing between the one ... and the rest. It will continue through the battlegrounds of New York City at War ... and it shall wage on long after the dust has settled on that night. While the many have prepared themselves for a battle ... the one has been immersed in a WAR that has long since been declared. Step into battle with the intentions of winning that battle and you shall see many fall at your feet. Walk onto the battlefield with the objective of conquering the entire war and you shall watch entire nations bow at your feet. It is the one with the least to lose and the most to gain whom is most dangerous during any conflict.
The key to victory during any war is an insatiable appetite for destruction.
ODIN BALFORE
There was a time when the idea of Odin Balfore entering War would have meant something much more than it does now. Though, I'm really not sure what time that actually was. I mean, for the entire duration of my time here since back in 2012 ... Odin has been nothing more than an afterthought. The 'villain of the story' has once again dragged his pathetic carcass out here for one more useless attempt at reliving the past.
How well did that work out for you the last time, Odin? Are you even capable of recalling the last time you were that 'villain'? Or has alzheimer's kicked in full start? Don't worry Odin. Oh don't you worry because I remember it quite vividly. You have this seven foot tall oaf who comes down to the ring and powerbombs me directly after I defeated Eric Price for the WCF World Championship in WCF's first and only Abject Humiliation match. Odin was so proud ... so confident ... so full of vigor. He was like a kid in a fucking candy store thinking somewhere in the recesses of his non-existent brain that he was going to swoop in and reclaim his former glory at my expense.
But that isn't what happened, is it? No. Not at all. What happened is I chopped down that seven foot tall redwood and made myself a fucking coffee table out of his bitch ass to display the World Championship. And, just like usual ... Odin took his big oaf ass and disappeared after he finished embarrassing himself once again.
Odin wants to be that "bad motha' fucker" once again ... and sure, there's no mistake that Odin is a tough son of a bitch. As outdated as he may be ... he is too stupid to understand that his body just can't handle it anymore so he's going to fight. I expect him to bring everything he has because this is WAR and Odin might have a chance again to shine as he decimates some of the less experienced entries into the fold. But Odin has brought his best before ... he brought is when he stood across from me back in 2013. He brought it when he was coming for my championship, he brought it when he was coming for my legacy and he brought it when he was coming for me. It wasn't enough then and it won't be enough now. You learned first hand that you just did not have what it takes to compete with the most dangerous woman in WCF history.
This is no different, Odin. There is no happy ending to your story. This isn't a Norse myth, there are no dungeons and dragons, no gods and monsters ... only men and women. You are the same man that you were in 2013 ... and I am the same woman that I was. You couldn't measure up then, and you sure as HELL won't now. This is Ragnarök all over again, bitch. The Twilight of the Gods is upon you once again and this time, I'm making sure there isn't a fucking sequel.
6IX GOD
Really, what am I even supposed to think here? The guy who about "6ix" months ago had a guaranteed match against Joey Flash ... well, that is until Logan beat him. But ANYWAY ... Jared Holmes had a guaranteed match with Flash and now he comes back as his personal bitch? And somehow I'm supposed to take this seriously?
I really am still trying to figure out this Six God shit ... like, are you supposed to be Drake? Are you saying you're from Toronto? I'm pretty sure neither of those are the case. So what exactly are you trying to tell us, Jared? That you're a God in Toronto? I mean ... that's not hard ... they're fucking Canadians they'll believe anything. Are you telling us you're a HUGE Drake fanboy?
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umiyidnaq2g
[/youtube]
Maybe ... just maybe none of that is the case and instead, Jared is trying to let us all know he is just fucking amazing at Call of Duty. I mean, shit just log onto XBox Live or the Playstation Network and pop in some Call of Duty and just watch in wonder and amazement just how many fourteen year old kids are on that game with some variation of the "Six God" name ... and have been for quite a number of years, long before anyone even knew who the fuck Jared Holmes was. Spoiler Alert: Most people still don't, or just don't give a shit about his unoriginal ass.
But again, this all makes perfect sense. Jared Holmes ... the "6ix God" ... a mediocre wrestler, huge Flash ass kisser, gigantic Drake fanboy and avid Call of Duty player stole his name from fourteen year old kids AND stole it from a mediocre rapper who in turn stole the name from Jimmy Prime of OVO out of ... you guessed it ... TORONTO aka "the six". I suppose that would make sense being as Drake doesn't even write his own music. So it should come as no surprise that Holmes doesn't think up his own persona.
With such ingenius and intimidating names such as "Six God" and ... Wednesday ... oh wait sorry, I mean Thursday, whatever could I have been thinking of?
They're creepy and they're cooky ... ahem. Pardon me, just got sidetracked for a moment.
So anyway, back to business. This guy has all of daddy's money ... and no friends. I mean sure, he has Little Mermaid Squad sniffing up his ass, but that's probably for the same reason some old fucking retard told him he's the 'special chosen one.' Exactly how much meth was he selling you? That dude saw Holmes and he saw the chosen one alright ... SUCKER must have been written across Jared's forehead plain as day because that old fuck is spending daddy's money faster than Jared Holmes can say "Six God." More 'aliens' and shit ... man there is a recurring theme here. Fucking gullable ass retards.
What does this say for the rest of Beachkrew? You have a bunch of guys following a giant walking turd with absolutely NO charisma of his own, who looks to manufactured rappers and retarded kids on the internet whose balls have not yet dropped for his inspiration to life. On top of it, he has somehow managed to convince these fools that he is some chosen God because some unshaven hobo with a cardboard spaceship told him so. This is the equivalent of Ren and Stimpy following Beavis and Butthead around like puppy dogs.
I don't give a shit if Jared Holmes wants to stand outside of the ring and longingly gaze upon his man crush in Joey Flash and HOPE that Flash somehow wins, or if Jared wants to step into the ring and enter WAR. The result will be exactly the same. Jared Holmes wants to be exactly like Drake .. with a team of people feeding him material because he doesn't have an original thought of his own.
Well guess what "Drake"? You just stepped into a battle with "Eminem" and MUCH like how THAT will go down ... I don't need a team of people to make a fucking fool out of you. In fact you've pretty much done that much on your own. You bitched out, walked away and now have your lips firmly planted on Joey Flash's ass. Fucking pathetic.
JEFF PURSE
As much as this will come as a shock to practically ... everyone ... I have somewhat of a respect for Jeff Purse. But don't mistake that sliver of respect for remorse. I hold none within my being for what I have done to you. I ruined your life, Jeff ... and I'm proud of that. I reveled in your misery and your suffering. I rejoiced at putting your gorilla headed bitch in the hospital, and I savored every moment that you were laid up, broken in half and possibly crippled for life all because of ME. I laughed at your foolishness as you swooned over the smallest flash of a smile from me. And I mocked every moment that you somehow thought we'd end up together. You went so far as to abandon your precious Kari after I decimated her ... all in the hopes that you'd end up with me.
You wanted revenge ... you sought it with every fiber of your being and yet, you couldn't get the job done when it actually mattered most. You wanted to take the world championship from me so very badly. You wanted to take from me what was most dear to me to levy a sense of retribution for ALL I had taken away from you. Your dignity, your pride, your fiancè, six months of your career ... and most of all Jeff ... I took away your entire life. I was calculated and meticulous ... and I caused you more suffering than you had ever experienced. You returned with a fire deep wihin your soul ... frothing at the mouth for revenge and you could not deliver. I remained at the very top after our encounter and remained the WCF World Champion because I was, and always have been THAT much better than you. You had to settle for irrelevant vengeance at your friend Corey Black's showing of XIII.
So why, with all of this do I respect Jeff Purse? For one ... he lives and he breathes WCF and for that alone, I cannot deny respect. I also live and breathe WCF and regardless our differences, we have that common factor. Jeff you have won War before ... you have tasted that victory and no one can deny you that moment. But when it comes to me, you just cannot get the job done where it counts.
I was not present to ruin your dreams when you did win War. I was not there to take everything away from you. From the very moment our paths have crossed, Jeff ... I have been the one to take everything away from you, and this outcome will be the same. I will be your misery and your suffering, and you will find yourself again wondering how it is that you fell to Sarah Twilight. You have never been able to stand above me when it counts ... and you will not do it now. War is going to be a reminder of history for you ... the history where I rise and you fall.
ZMAC
This guy? Seriously? Zombie McMorris who thinks of himself as some fucking legend among jobbers for his steady midcard status has actually been reduced to a MUCH lower rung on the pecking order than that. Dude is a glorified fucking cheerleader. Honey Badger don't give a fuck? From where I stand he most certainly does give a fuck ... he gives a fuck about kissing Joey Flash's ass. He gives a fuck about promoting just about everyone no longer in WCF. Mister "coked up madman" is now nothing more than a fucked up groupie.
Kinda sucks don't it ZMAC? Putting up retarded memes and posting "LOL" a thousand times just doesn't cut it with War. After all, who the fuck would even take you seriously at this point? You've exerted so much of your energy trying to convince everyone that Joey Flash is their Lord and Savior that you've placed yourself into full BITCH status. You're not dangerous, you're not intimidating ... you're some seriously ugly fuck in a skirt with some pom-poms screaming "J-O-E-Y ... he can't do it, neither can I! ... S-A-R-A-H ... she's gonna win, but I still have to hate!"
How fucking pathetic. You went from being the most dominant internet champion ever ... to being a side piece for someone who is a bigger bitch than you. Yet somehow ... somehow you STILL believe you are to be taken legitimately as some hardcore badass. It's definitely not the coke.
The only thing 'hardcore' about ZMAC is his fucking body odor. I suppose nobody ever clued him in to the fact that he needs to WASH his asshole after Joey pulls out. You'd be better off not even showing up and just stand outside with your fucking pom-poms. You are literally THAT useless. Maybe I'll try this in a way you can understand ...
FGT LOL U FKIN SUX DIX SLOB KNOB BITCH
START SPREADIN DA NEWS, ZMAC SPREADIN HIS CHEEKS (FOR UCI)
LOL I GOTS DANK MEMES BUT STILL A FGT
OBLIVION
I know this isn't anyone's fault ... and I realize it's War but for fuck's sake how many times do I have to kick Oblivion's ass? I really sometimes think that Seth gets drunk and just forgets. He has the same 'brilliant' idea every so often. He probably sits in his office, nursing a hangover and suddenly ... it hits him. "Oblivion is a monster ... Sarah Twilight is a monster ... let's find out what happens when we put them in a ring together! Muhahahahaha!" ... Except, this HAS happened ... about one thousand, seven hundred and forty three times. And each and EVERY fucking time that it does happen, the result is the same. I beat the ever living fuck out of Oblivion and take his ass down a notch.
Yeah, the guy is a beast ... and he's probably going to eat a few rookies at War. I do literally mean eat them. Like, the level of mental issues in this company is staggering. But see, after he rips a few unsuspecting wastes of space apart ... at some point I'm going to walk down to the ring and Oblivion's reign of terror will be put to an end because I will snap that mother fucker in half ... JUST like I did when I returned for Hellimination and JUST like I have in EVERY other encounter we have EVER had.
I am just at the point where it is boring as fuck for me to have to beat the shit out of Oblivion. I mean if I have to do this as often as I do ... Seth could at least make it its own sport. "Whack a Monster" ... Just cut a bunch of holes in the ring canvas and let Oblivion rise out of random ones like he just came up from the depths of hell ... for effect of course. And I'll just hit that mother fucker with a mallet ... at least THAT would somewhat entertain me.
There's going to be like fifty other people at War and this is honestly the ass kicking I look forward to delivering the LEAST. Oblivion knows it's coming ... and there isn't anything he can do about it. I mean at BEST he can HOPE that someone else manages to get rid of him before I get out there. At least then he won't have to be embarrassed yet AGAIN.
ALEX WINTERZ
Stop fucking with me ... Alex Winter is a part of WCF? Since when?
Okay so he put a z at the end of his name ... even still, that is fucking awesome!
Uh ... because that is a major business move by Seth to get a celebrity to compete at War. I mean ... the guy won't win, but having him there will be pretty cool.
The fuck he isn't! Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is like the greatest movie EVER!
So he's NOT the Alex Winter from Bill and Ted? Why the fuck are you wasting my time then? NEXT!
CLIFF OF DOOM
What the actual fuck kinda name is that?
So let me get this straight ... you're a teacher ... you are responsible for molding the minds of the next generation and you somehow thought it was a good idea to run around calling yourself a name that you probably thought up when you were like ... six? No wonder this country is fucked ... we have retards leading the retards.
Go back to school you dumb fuck. The fuck is 'Cliff of Doom'? Shit sounds like what the fucking coyote falls off of in Looney Toons. More like what the fuck your career is going to fall off of at War when I'm done handing you your ass ... I'll even giftwrap it for you so you can sit it on your desk and show your dumbass students how you once failed horribly at trying to be a professional wrestler on the side.
And why the fuck did nobody slap the fucking shit out of your parents? Most people would take their kid to fucking therapy for some shit like that.
"What do you want to be when you grow up, son?"
"I want to be a Cliff of Doom!"
This is the point where you break out the Ritalin and investigate just HOW many times your kid bumped their fucking head as an infant.
Just ... just go back to teaching kids how to blow up a chemistry lab or some shit. I can't even believe I've wasted this much time on you already. Cliff of Doom ... fuck's sake.
LILITH
Oh hell no, that retarded cunt. That bitch would rather fuck me than fight me ... why? I have no fucking idea other than the fact that MAYBE she's actually smarter than the rest of the roster. She knows I will fucking annihilate her at any given moment so she somehow just pretends that we're in love or some shit.
No comment.
I said no fucking comment! That means shut the fuck up before I shut you up you stammering cunt!
Lilith is just another example as to the plain facts that WCF does not have a mental screening prior to employment. We have mother fuckers who think they're aliens, fucking .. time travelers, zombies and this bitch who thinks her teddy bears talk to her. Lilith can play pretend all she fucking wants and when I kick her ass and eliminate her from War, she can fantasize in her fucked up head that she's having a tea party picnic or whatever other weird shit she thinks up. She can go ahead and invite Gemini Battle and Jay Omega with her because they are just as fucking goofy and clearly suffering the same mental delusions as she is.
GEMINI BATTLE
The further we get into this roster ... the more my sanity wavers on tipping off the deep end. I think I really have to try and compose myself for this one.
Alright, I'm good.
We have a guy ... who was a mediocre wrestler and had his body taken over by some intergallactic E.T. who traveled here millions of light years or whatever to use this fucker as a host ... and he STILL works for WCF? And on top of that he's STILL mediocre? I'm ... I'm just not impressed. I mean shit, at least give us some death ray from the eyes or some shit. Incinerate a mother fucker live in the ring and holy shit ... people will pack the fuck up.
Let's say for argument's sake that I buy into any of this E.T. shit ... which I don't, but anyhow let's just say for a moment it's all true. Mind you, this shit is hard enough to swallow as it is ... but on top of it all, you mean to tell me that E.T. with the capability of coming here in a mother fucking flying saucer to take over some random fuck in a wrestling company... which means they have like a billion times the technology that we ever will. Ok, so this fucker gets here at the speed of light, does his anal probe body transfer or whatever the fuck aliens are supposed to do to take over humans and this E.T. is scared of fucking Joey Flash? Hahahaha!
REALLY? E.T. better fucking phone home cause if them mother fuckers on whatever planet he's from tune in on Intergallactic cable channel 16,975 they're gonna be none too happy with Mork over here. Scared of some Earthling bitch? Please, you're an embarrassment.
It's a damn good thing this fuck lost the world championship as quickly as he did. Imagine that shit ... The fucking bullshit headline we'd have if he were still carrying the strap now. "Extraterrestrial WCF World Champion pisses pants on twitter due to return of Brooklyn bitch-ass ... stock plummets ... Intergallactic war imminent."
Maybe science has it all wrong. Cause there is no fucking way this alien is an 'intelligent' life form. All the people on this planet and that fucker chose Grayson Pierce to inhabit? Come on now ... get real.
I would have had some SLIGHT respect for you. Not much but SOME ... instead ALF decided to BE pussy instead of eat pussy. You better hope your boys get rid of your bitch-ass because if you're in that ring when I get there it's gonna be Independence Day for you mother fucker.
JOEY FLASH
The guy who a few spineless fucks on the roster have made a big deal out of. "Oh me oh my, whatever shall we do?" Pffft, how pathetic. I suppose if War was a competition of who can send out the most retarded tweets in a single day, I might be worried. Then again, Lilith would concern me there too and that's not saying very much. In fact, the only difference between Lilith and Joey Flash on twitter is that Lilith doesn't have an army of retarded goons echoing the nonsense that comes out of her mouth.
Bravo ... he comes with an entourage. Let's see here ... the who's who on this lovely list of losers. Oh yes, Jared Holmes' very own retarded drunken hobo with the cardboard spaceship. Then of course we have Jared himself along with his goof troop, still trying to recreate that weird shit from the Dragnet movie with all those mother fuckers wearing sheep heads and dancing around a mulberry bush or what the fuck ever (P.S. they did that ... it's on cable now.) Spencer Adams, Andre Holmes .... he is as relentlessly boring as the rest of you. Vengeance ... Wow, and I thought he was worthless when he was texting love messages to Synn.
Who else have you managed to pull out of the school for rejected assholes? Jayson Price maybe? Has he stopped hitting the bottle long enough to string together a coherent sentence? No? ... well then, moving on. Oh maybe we'll get the duck fucker herself, Celeste? She can throw a conniption fit with said rubber duck and spout off a bunch a weird shit that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Honestly ... just keep that bitch home and tell her to make us some fucking pizzas.
"Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it."
"The best weapon against an enemy ... is another enemy."
The battlefield is at this moment being prepared as every man and woman readies themselves for war. A proving grounds where the strong shall thrive and the weak shall be snuffed out. Yet, even among the strong there is weakness ... even among the mightiest of warriors there is hidden an Achilles heel. Those whom are battle tested and proven worthy will wage on until there is nothing left to give. In the end of it all, only one shall stand among the mound of decay and defeat ... as its victor. Dreams will be shattered, blood shall be shed and bones shall be crushed, all in the name of victory. This war ... shall take place for but a single night. One glorious battle to determine the fate and the direction of WCF heading into One. Many have laid their groundwork and set their expectations for this single evening. Mentally, they have focused ... physically they have exhausted and exceeded their limitations. They have battered and tortured their own minds and bodies, attempting to overcome the trepidation plaguing them in a bid for success on one .. single .. night.
That is the path of the many. But for the one ... war has been waging on long before this night would ever come. In combat, allies become enemies ... and enemies may suddenly become allies for a brief moment. Friendships are strained, and perhaps completely broken as the conflict of warfare drives at the very essence of sanity. This burden, this strain of morality and conscience is not present for the one whom does not keep friends. It is far removed from the one who holds no remorse, no conscience guilt, and no hesitation for what they must do in order to achieve what is desired.
A war has been ongoing between the one ... and the rest. It will continue through the battlegrounds of New York City at War ... and it shall wage on long after the dust has settled on that night. While the many have prepared themselves for a battle ... the one has been immersed in a WAR that has long since been declared. Step into battle with the intentions of winning that battle and you shall see many fall at your feet. Walk onto the battlefield with the objective of conquering the entire war and you shall watch entire nations bow at your feet. It is the one with the least to lose and the most to gain whom is most dangerous during any conflict.
The key to victory during any war is an insatiable appetite for destruction.
ODIN BALFORE
There was a time when the idea of Odin Balfore entering War would have meant something much more than it does now. Though, I'm really not sure what time that actually was. I mean, for the entire duration of my time here since back in 2012 ... Odin has been nothing more than an afterthought. The 'villain of the story' has once again dragged his pathetic carcass out here for one more useless attempt at reliving the past.
How well did that work out for you the last time, Odin? Are you even capable of recalling the last time you were that 'villain'? Or has alzheimer's kicked in full start? Don't worry Odin. Oh don't you worry because I remember it quite vividly. You have this seven foot tall oaf who comes down to the ring and powerbombs me directly after I defeated Eric Price for the WCF World Championship in WCF's first and only Abject Humiliation match. Odin was so proud ... so confident ... so full of vigor. He was like a kid in a fucking candy store thinking somewhere in the recesses of his non-existent brain that he was going to swoop in and reclaim his former glory at my expense.
But that isn't what happened, is it? No. Not at all. What happened is I chopped down that seven foot tall redwood and made myself a fucking coffee table out of his bitch ass to display the World Championship. And, just like usual ... Odin took his big oaf ass and disappeared after he finished embarrassing himself once again.
Odin wants to be that "bad motha' fucker" once again ... and sure, there's no mistake that Odin is a tough son of a bitch. As outdated as he may be ... he is too stupid to understand that his body just can't handle it anymore so he's going to fight. I expect him to bring everything he has because this is WAR and Odin might have a chance again to shine as he decimates some of the less experienced entries into the fold. But Odin has brought his best before ... he brought is when he stood across from me back in 2013. He brought it when he was coming for my championship, he brought it when he was coming for my legacy and he brought it when he was coming for me. It wasn't enough then and it won't be enough now. You learned first hand that you just did not have what it takes to compete with the most dangerous woman in WCF history.
This is no different, Odin. There is no happy ending to your story. This isn't a Norse myth, there are no dungeons and dragons, no gods and monsters ... only men and women. You are the same man that you were in 2013 ... and I am the same woman that I was. You couldn't measure up then, and you sure as HELL won't now. This is Ragnarök all over again, bitch. The Twilight of the Gods is upon you once again and this time, I'm making sure there isn't a fucking sequel.
6IX GOD
Really, what am I even supposed to think here? The guy who about "6ix" months ago had a guaranteed match against Joey Flash ... well, that is until Logan beat him. But ANYWAY ... Jared Holmes had a guaranteed match with Flash and now he comes back as his personal bitch? And somehow I'm supposed to take this seriously?
I really am still trying to figure out this Six God shit ... like, are you supposed to be Drake? Are you saying you're from Toronto? I'm pretty sure neither of those are the case. So what exactly are you trying to tell us, Jared? That you're a God in Toronto? I mean ... that's not hard ... they're fucking Canadians they'll believe anything. Are you telling us you're a HUGE Drake fanboy?
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umiyidnaq2g
[/youtube]
Maybe ... just maybe none of that is the case and instead, Jared is trying to let us all know he is just fucking amazing at Call of Duty. I mean, shit just log onto XBox Live or the Playstation Network and pop in some Call of Duty and just watch in wonder and amazement just how many fourteen year old kids are on that game with some variation of the "Six God" name ... and have been for quite a number of years, long before anyone even knew who the fuck Jared Holmes was. Spoiler Alert: Most people still don't, or just don't give a shit about his unoriginal ass.
But again, this all makes perfect sense. Jared Holmes ... the "6ix God" ... a mediocre wrestler, huge Flash ass kisser, gigantic Drake fanboy and avid Call of Duty player stole his name from fourteen year old kids AND stole it from a mediocre rapper who in turn stole the name from Jimmy Prime of OVO out of ... you guessed it ... TORONTO aka "the six". I suppose that would make sense being as Drake doesn't even write his own music. So it should come as no surprise that Holmes doesn't think up his own persona.
With such ingenius and intimidating names such as "Six God" and ... Wednesday ... oh wait sorry, I mean Thursday, whatever could I have been thinking of?
They're creepy and they're cooky ... ahem. Pardon me, just got sidetracked for a moment.
So anyway, back to business. This guy has all of daddy's money ... and no friends. I mean sure, he has Little Mermaid Squad sniffing up his ass, but that's probably for the same reason some old fucking retard told him he's the 'special chosen one.' Exactly how much meth was he selling you? That dude saw Holmes and he saw the chosen one alright ... SUCKER must have been written across Jared's forehead plain as day because that old fuck is spending daddy's money faster than Jared Holmes can say "Six God." More 'aliens' and shit ... man there is a recurring theme here. Fucking gullable ass retards.
What does this say for the rest of Beachkrew? You have a bunch of guys following a giant walking turd with absolutely NO charisma of his own, who looks to manufactured rappers and retarded kids on the internet whose balls have not yet dropped for his inspiration to life. On top of it, he has somehow managed to convince these fools that he is some chosen God because some unshaven hobo with a cardboard spaceship told him so. This is the equivalent of Ren and Stimpy following Beavis and Butthead around like puppy dogs.
I don't give a shit if Jared Holmes wants to stand outside of the ring and longingly gaze upon his man crush in Joey Flash and HOPE that Flash somehow wins, or if Jared wants to step into the ring and enter WAR. The result will be exactly the same. Jared Holmes wants to be exactly like Drake .. with a team of people feeding him material because he doesn't have an original thought of his own.
Well guess what "Drake"? You just stepped into a battle with "Eminem" and MUCH like how THAT will go down ... I don't need a team of people to make a fucking fool out of you. In fact you've pretty much done that much on your own. You bitched out, walked away and now have your lips firmly planted on Joey Flash's ass. Fucking pathetic.
JEFF PURSE
As much as this will come as a shock to practically ... everyone ... I have somewhat of a respect for Jeff Purse. But don't mistake that sliver of respect for remorse. I hold none within my being for what I have done to you. I ruined your life, Jeff ... and I'm proud of that. I reveled in your misery and your suffering. I rejoiced at putting your gorilla headed bitch in the hospital, and I savored every moment that you were laid up, broken in half and possibly crippled for life all because of ME. I laughed at your foolishness as you swooned over the smallest flash of a smile from me. And I mocked every moment that you somehow thought we'd end up together. You went so far as to abandon your precious Kari after I decimated her ... all in the hopes that you'd end up with me.
You wanted revenge ... you sought it with every fiber of your being and yet, you couldn't get the job done when it actually mattered most. You wanted to take the world championship from me so very badly. You wanted to take from me what was most dear to me to levy a sense of retribution for ALL I had taken away from you. Your dignity, your pride, your fiancè, six months of your career ... and most of all Jeff ... I took away your entire life. I was calculated and meticulous ... and I caused you more suffering than you had ever experienced. You returned with a fire deep wihin your soul ... frothing at the mouth for revenge and you could not deliver. I remained at the very top after our encounter and remained the WCF World Champion because I was, and always have been THAT much better than you. You had to settle for irrelevant vengeance at your friend Corey Black's showing of XIII.
So why, with all of this do I respect Jeff Purse? For one ... he lives and he breathes WCF and for that alone, I cannot deny respect. I also live and breathe WCF and regardless our differences, we have that common factor. Jeff you have won War before ... you have tasted that victory and no one can deny you that moment. But when it comes to me, you just cannot get the job done where it counts.
I was not present to ruin your dreams when you did win War. I was not there to take everything away from you. From the very moment our paths have crossed, Jeff ... I have been the one to take everything away from you, and this outcome will be the same. I will be your misery and your suffering, and you will find yourself again wondering how it is that you fell to Sarah Twilight. You have never been able to stand above me when it counts ... and you will not do it now. War is going to be a reminder of history for you ... the history where I rise and you fall.
ZMAC
This guy? Seriously? Zombie McMorris who thinks of himself as some fucking legend among jobbers for his steady midcard status has actually been reduced to a MUCH lower rung on the pecking order than that. Dude is a glorified fucking cheerleader. Honey Badger don't give a fuck? From where I stand he most certainly does give a fuck ... he gives a fuck about kissing Joey Flash's ass. He gives a fuck about promoting just about everyone no longer in WCF. Mister "coked up madman" is now nothing more than a fucked up groupie.
Kinda sucks don't it ZMAC? Putting up retarded memes and posting "LOL" a thousand times just doesn't cut it with War. After all, who the fuck would even take you seriously at this point? You've exerted so much of your energy trying to convince everyone that Joey Flash is their Lord and Savior that you've placed yourself into full BITCH status. You're not dangerous, you're not intimidating ... you're some seriously ugly fuck in a skirt with some pom-poms screaming "J-O-E-Y ... he can't do it, neither can I! ... S-A-R-A-H ... she's gonna win, but I still have to hate!"
How fucking pathetic. You went from being the most dominant internet champion ever ... to being a side piece for someone who is a bigger bitch than you. Yet somehow ... somehow you STILL believe you are to be taken legitimately as some hardcore badass. It's definitely not the coke.
The only thing 'hardcore' about ZMAC is his fucking body odor. I suppose nobody ever clued him in to the fact that he needs to WASH his asshole after Joey pulls out. You'd be better off not even showing up and just stand outside with your fucking pom-poms. You are literally THAT useless. Maybe I'll try this in a way you can understand ...
FGT LOL U FKIN SUX DIX SLOB KNOB BITCH
START SPREADIN DA NEWS, ZMAC SPREADIN HIS CHEEKS (FOR UCI)
LOL I GOTS DANK MEMES BUT STILL A FGT
OBLIVION
I know this isn't anyone's fault ... and I realize it's War but for fuck's sake how many times do I have to kick Oblivion's ass? I really sometimes think that Seth gets drunk and just forgets. He has the same 'brilliant' idea every so often. He probably sits in his office, nursing a hangover and suddenly ... it hits him. "Oblivion is a monster ... Sarah Twilight is a monster ... let's find out what happens when we put them in a ring together! Muhahahahaha!" ... Except, this HAS happened ... about one thousand, seven hundred and forty three times. And each and EVERY fucking time that it does happen, the result is the same. I beat the ever living fuck out of Oblivion and take his ass down a notch.
Yeah, the guy is a beast ... and he's probably going to eat a few rookies at War. I do literally mean eat them. Like, the level of mental issues in this company is staggering. But see, after he rips a few unsuspecting wastes of space apart ... at some point I'm going to walk down to the ring and Oblivion's reign of terror will be put to an end because I will snap that mother fucker in half ... JUST like I did when I returned for Hellimination and JUST like I have in EVERY other encounter we have EVER had.
I am just at the point where it is boring as fuck for me to have to beat the shit out of Oblivion. I mean if I have to do this as often as I do ... Seth could at least make it its own sport. "Whack a Monster" ... Just cut a bunch of holes in the ring canvas and let Oblivion rise out of random ones like he just came up from the depths of hell ... for effect of course. And I'll just hit that mother fucker with a mallet ... at least THAT would somewhat entertain me.
There's going to be like fifty other people at War and this is honestly the ass kicking I look forward to delivering the LEAST. Oblivion knows it's coming ... and there isn't anything he can do about it. I mean at BEST he can HOPE that someone else manages to get rid of him before I get out there. At least then he won't have to be embarrassed yet AGAIN.
ALEX WINTERZ
Stop fucking with me ... Alex Winter is a part of WCF? Since when?
Okay so he put a z at the end of his name ... even still, that is fucking awesome!
Uh ... because that is a major business move by Seth to get a celebrity to compete at War. I mean ... the guy won't win, but having him there will be pretty cool.
The fuck he isn't! Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is like the greatest movie EVER!
So he's NOT the Alex Winter from Bill and Ted? Why the fuck are you wasting my time then? NEXT!
CLIFF OF DOOM
What the actual fuck kinda name is that?
So let me get this straight ... you're a teacher ... you are responsible for molding the minds of the next generation and you somehow thought it was a good idea to run around calling yourself a name that you probably thought up when you were like ... six? No wonder this country is fucked ... we have retards leading the retards.
Go back to school you dumb fuck. The fuck is 'Cliff of Doom'? Shit sounds like what the fucking coyote falls off of in Looney Toons. More like what the fuck your career is going to fall off of at War when I'm done handing you your ass ... I'll even giftwrap it for you so you can sit it on your desk and show your dumbass students how you once failed horribly at trying to be a professional wrestler on the side.
And why the fuck did nobody slap the fucking shit out of your parents? Most people would take their kid to fucking therapy for some shit like that.
"What do you want to be when you grow up, son?"
"I want to be a Cliff of Doom!"
This is the point where you break out the Ritalin and investigate just HOW many times your kid bumped their fucking head as an infant.
Just ... just go back to teaching kids how to blow up a chemistry lab or some shit. I can't even believe I've wasted this much time on you already. Cliff of Doom ... fuck's sake.
LILITH
Oh hell no, that retarded cunt. That bitch would rather fuck me than fight me ... why? I have no fucking idea other than the fact that MAYBE she's actually smarter than the rest of the roster. She knows I will fucking annihilate her at any given moment so she somehow just pretends that we're in love or some shit.
No comment.
I said no fucking comment! That means shut the fuck up before I shut you up you stammering cunt!
Lilith is just another example as to the plain facts that WCF does not have a mental screening prior to employment. We have mother fuckers who think they're aliens, fucking .. time travelers, zombies and this bitch who thinks her teddy bears talk to her. Lilith can play pretend all she fucking wants and when I kick her ass and eliminate her from War, she can fantasize in her fucked up head that she's having a tea party picnic or whatever other weird shit she thinks up. She can go ahead and invite Gemini Battle and Jay Omega with her because they are just as fucking goofy and clearly suffering the same mental delusions as she is.
GEMINI BATTLE
The further we get into this roster ... the more my sanity wavers on tipping off the deep end. I think I really have to try and compose myself for this one.
Alright, I'm good.
We have a guy ... who was a mediocre wrestler and had his body taken over by some intergallactic E.T. who traveled here millions of light years or whatever to use this fucker as a host ... and he STILL works for WCF? And on top of that he's STILL mediocre? I'm ... I'm just not impressed. I mean shit, at least give us some death ray from the eyes or some shit. Incinerate a mother fucker live in the ring and holy shit ... people will pack the fuck up.
Let's say for argument's sake that I buy into any of this E.T. shit ... which I don't, but anyhow let's just say for a moment it's all true. Mind you, this shit is hard enough to swallow as it is ... but on top of it all, you mean to tell me that E.T. with the capability of coming here in a mother fucking flying saucer to take over some random fuck in a wrestling company... which means they have like a billion times the technology that we ever will. Ok, so this fucker gets here at the speed of light, does his anal probe body transfer or whatever the fuck aliens are supposed to do to take over humans and this E.T. is scared of fucking Joey Flash? Hahahaha!
REALLY? E.T. better fucking phone home cause if them mother fuckers on whatever planet he's from tune in on Intergallactic cable channel 16,975 they're gonna be none too happy with Mork over here. Scared of some Earthling bitch? Please, you're an embarrassment.
It's a damn good thing this fuck lost the world championship as quickly as he did. Imagine that shit ... The fucking bullshit headline we'd have if he were still carrying the strap now. "Extraterrestrial WCF World Champion pisses pants on twitter due to return of Brooklyn bitch-ass ... stock plummets ... Intergallactic war imminent."
Maybe science has it all wrong. Cause there is no fucking way this alien is an 'intelligent' life form. All the people on this planet and that fucker chose Grayson Pierce to inhabit? Come on now ... get real.
I would have had some SLIGHT respect for you. Not much but SOME ... instead ALF decided to BE pussy instead of eat pussy. You better hope your boys get rid of your bitch-ass because if you're in that ring when I get there it's gonna be Independence Day for you mother fucker.
JOEY FLASH
The guy who a few spineless fucks on the roster have made a big deal out of. "Oh me oh my, whatever shall we do?" Pffft, how pathetic. I suppose if War was a competition of who can send out the most retarded tweets in a single day, I might be worried. Then again, Lilith would concern me there too and that's not saying very much. In fact, the only difference between Lilith and Joey Flash on twitter is that Lilith doesn't have an army of retarded goons echoing the nonsense that comes out of her mouth.
Bravo ... he comes with an entourage. Let's see here ... the who's who on this lovely list of losers. Oh yes, Jared Holmes' very own retarded drunken hobo with the cardboard spaceship. Then of course we have Jared himself along with his goof troop, still trying to recreate that weird shit from the Dragnet movie with all those mother fuckers wearing sheep heads and dancing around a mulberry bush or what the fuck ever (P.S. they did that ... it's on cable now.) Spencer Adams, Andre Holmes .... he is as relentlessly boring as the rest of you. Vengeance ... Wow, and I thought he was worthless when he was texting love messages to Synn.
Who else have you managed to pull out of the school for rejected assholes? Jayson Price maybe? Has he stopped hitting the bottle long enough to string together a coherent sentence? No? ... well then, moving on. Oh maybe we'll get the duck fucker herself, Celeste? She can throw a conniption fit with said rubber duck and spout off a bunch a weird shit that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Honestly ... just keep that bitch home and tell her to make us some fucking pizzas.
