Post by "The Real Deal" Jason O'Neal on Sept 25, 2016 21:36:56 GMT -5
:: Dateline: 3pm 9/21/2016 Sapecho, Bolivia. That’s South America for all the dumbass Confederate f*cks who can’t read a map that isn’t marked…”You are here” with a big red arrow. Why are we here? Is this another Cliff of Doom fake high school set? Is he the best teacher in the land of the 1990’s automobiles? He would probably understand these kids better than the ones “North of the Tracks.” However, gratefully, this is not a three hour long drama about a lousy teacher who is about to get fired. F*ck who even watches the whole thing of those things? Really…?
Anyway, introductions… 220.3 kms due north from La Paz lies Sapecho. A small town with a residence of no more than 1,000 people. Today, it has an extra three. Jason O’Neal, Jerome “The Beast” Jenkins (Jason’s massive body guard), and Travis Randolph (WcF Camera man on hire by Jason O’Neal). A few quick scenes of aerial shots from a single prop plane leads into the scene. The frames captured show lush vegetation as the plane lands on a secluded and presumably private runway.
Jason O’Neal is wearing an Armani suit tailored to the best ability. Jerome Jenkins is seen wearing combat gear. Jason’s Ray-Ban aviators catch the light just right as the door of the plane is propped open. The first person in the plane from the outside is a Hispanic man toting an AK-47…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH (panicked behind the camera): You said you had a business trip.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: This is standard business. What did you expect?
HISPANIC MAN (Pointed the gun at Travis): Tienes una camara? O’Neal…Porque?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Carlos, tranquilo. Pone su arma de distincia. El es una persona para me trabajo de WcF. No es DEA o FBI o CIA.
:: What the hell? Jason knows Spanish? Not some dumb street thug after all…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH (still filming the scene): What’s going on? You know Spanish?
: The gun is made ready to fire…
CARLOS: Apague la camara.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: What the hell does he want?
:: Travis is panicking…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL (chill as a cucumber): Turn off the camera f*cktard.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Ok, but you don’t have to call me fuc…
:: The scene fades to black…
:: When we rejoin the crew Jason O’Neal has talked his way into letting the cameras roll. When the word talked is used here… those words generally cost about 20,000 U.S. dollars. Anyhow, Jason and another Hispanic man is seen walking through a relatively large cocoa field through a pre-cut walking path. The camera is on ground level and as it pans it shows just how protective these individuals are of their prized cash crop. At least tenAK47 carrying guards are at the top of guard towers and six are on horseback keeping watch over the workers in the fields. A conversation starts between the two men…
UNIDENTIFIED HISPANIC MAN (Heavy accent): To what do I owe the honor, Mr. O’Neal?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Had a week off figured I’d come check out the supply side. How are we doing?
UNIDENTIFIED MAN: Production is up 23 % to meet demand. You were right, getting involved in the wrestling crap increased your demand.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yeah… mainstream the devil. Now I am in everyone’s home and I am entertainment. If the Feds arrest me… which they won’t because I keep little Emily tucked away in her beautiful princess bed, the public outcry would cause so much of a distraction. I’d be let go in the next day.
UNIDENTIFIED MAN: I am 46, the owner of the largest cocoa field in Bolivia and I was never a wise as you.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Well, Luiz, I learned it all from you, Mi Amigo.
LUIZ: You want to check up on production?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Si, claro…
:: Jason and Luiz continue to meander towards the production hut when a six year old kid comes running from the bushes and hugs Jason’s leg…
LUIZ: No puedes le tocar.
:: Luiz delivers a stiff blow to the back of the head of the filthy barely clothed child…
CHILD: Lo siento. Simplemente quiero veer a Mr. O’Neal. Mi padre se dice venia aqui.
LUIZ: El nino estupido, tenemos negocio. Senor O’Neal no hay tiempo para ti.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: It’s cool, Luiz, business can wait? (To the child) Hablas Ingles?
CHILD: Un poco.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: El gente mira esto no son intelligente as nescistamos hablar in ingles okay?
CHILD (giggles): Okay.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: What is your name and how old are you?
CHILD: Pablo. And I am seis. Six.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Well, Pablo… how long have you worked here?
PABLO: Since I was three. Mi Padre said you are the greatest guy to live. You pay for houses. I want to be like you. Poor one day and rich la proxima.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: It takes hard work and making difficult decisions. What’s your dad’s name?
PABLO: Se llama Carlo.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Come with us Pablo.
LUIZ: He has work to do.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Indeed he does.
:: The processors of the cocaine worked diligently packaging the product and swiftly producing then moving the next. The harvesters continue to drop bundles of leaves off as the donkey’s pack back into the fields. The camera pans to Jason O’Neal examining the product and showing it to the little six year old Pablo. Pablo is instructed to taste a bit and licks a portion off of Jason’s finger…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: That’s my boy.
LUIZ: I trust everything is in order.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Great visit. Except for one thing…
LUIZ: What is it Mr. O’Neal…?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Damas y caballeros da me su attencion, por favor.
:: Jason has just stopped the production line of one of the biggest cocaine facilities in South America with the ease and finesse that only he brings…
LUIZ: This stop in production could set us back days…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: No sir… it will put you on top for years to come. Can you please translate for me?
LUIZ (a concern in his voice): I trust you O’Neal.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Good. Now translate. I want the people watching in English to know what I'm saying too.(Getting the affirmation from Luiz) I am Jason O’Neal.
:: Translation and applause. Loud praises of excitement come from the crowd…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Thank you. I am glad to see that the production has risen. (applause) However…(a pause in the crowd)… upon arrival I was utterly disrespected. My friends and I had a gun pointed at us. Is that anyway to treat the man who feeds you?
:: The crowd erupts...NO!!!...
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Seems we should punish the bastard. Right?
:: The crowd applauds louder…
LUIZ: Jason… what are you doing?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Beast…bring him out.
:: From behind the production hut the massive man escorts a man who is handcuffed with a bag over his head. Jason walks up and removes the bag…
PABLO: PAPA!! NO!!!
:: The six year old kid tries to run to father but Jason grabs him by the arm…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Tranquilo, nino.
:: The figure of what used to be Carlos’s very chiseled face is a bloody pulp. The boy breaks down to his knees in tears…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: This is the second in command here and he pulls a gun on me and my friends? No Bueno. (Jason pulls a nine millimeter pistol from his waistline and picks the kid up and whispers in his ear) You want bigger? Shoot the f*cker in the head and I’ll make you bigger than this shithole.
:: Jason hands the gun over to the six year old and POW… without hesitation Carlos falls like a sack of potatoes. The people are shocked…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: 20% pay increase for everyone.
:: The processing crowd pops. Jason takes Pablo under his arm like a proud poppa and begins to walk to the landing strip with a smile on his face. Luiz walks briskly to keep pace…
LUIZ: What the hell was that?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Pablo becoming a man, Me increasing your productivity by getting rid of trigger happy employee who probably killed productive workers who didn’t sleep with him, and a statement to you. Next time have a better plane waiting for me in La Paz.
LUIZ: Okay, okay… I understand, but I’ve told you I can’t land better planes on the landing strip and cars are check pointed.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Figure it out.
:: By this time Jason, Jeromre, Travis, Pablo, and Luiz have all made it back to the plane…
PABLO: I wish you no go.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You are coming with us. I got a job for you.
:: The boy rejoices and the plane is loaded. Scene fades to black…
:: DATELINE 7:00pm 9/25/2016 Goshta, Afganistan. The plane landed in yet another remote part of the world. What the hell… O’Neal? Couldn’t save money. Let me guess… Poppy Fields. The plane door opens and the first sight is indeed a poppy field. By the way this is the only place in the world that has more goat f*cking than Gemini Battle’s family reunion. Pablo runs down the steps of the plane. Followed by Jason and The Beast with the camera recording…
PABLO: Senor O’Neal where are we?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Goshta, Afganistan. Halfway around the world.
PABLO: I never go from Sapecho.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: First time for everything.
:: The crew walk towards the only structure present among the poppies. The door swings open and Jason O’Neal and his friends are met with open arms by a man with a long beard and wearing a turban…
ARABIC MAN: Alssalama lankum, Brother O’Neal.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Wa-Alaikum-Salaam, Kahlil.
KAHLIL: Where’s this bonafied killer you have for me?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Meet Pablo Emanuel.
KAHLIL: This is even more idiotic than your wrestling idea. I still do not like the camera here.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The wrestling idea is working and you know those f*cking troops out there are U.N.. Ain’t nobody shutting you down. They are protecting you. The Pharma companies need you a bit more than I do.
KAHLIL: Which is why I can’t go to the Taliban and tell them my second in command is some six year old Hispanic who picks his nose.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Pablo… Tell Mr. Kahlil what you did four days ago.
PABLO (smiling): I made mi Papa’s head go splat.
KAHLIL: You had the child kill his father…? On camera? You are pulling, how do you say… pulling my leg right? You have to be doing this for ratings or something?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yes… shit I am the most watched guy in the company and the pay checks are great, but… ask him why he did it.
KAHLIL: Why did you kill your father?
PABLO (without hesitation and with ambition): I want to be the greatest to ever live.
KAHLIL (eyes lit up): Jason you have a deal.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Pure raw opium shipped to processing in Cuba and I’ll handle it from there.
PABLO: Thank you for the opportunity Mr. O’Neal.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Thank you for solving two problems for me.
:: Better business man then Donald Trump. Indeed. The camera fades…
:: When the camera comes up again Jason is seen outside the bathroom of a private jet. The camera is stationary and you can hear retching and vomiting from the bathroom. The Beast is seen sleeping in his seat. Jason knocks on the door…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Travis you going to be alright in there?
:: The toilet flushes and the door cracks open. The camera man is seen stepping out of the bathroom…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: You had a kid kill his dad… and then basically sell him into slavery for opium.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: First off, his dad tried to kill you… you’re welcome. Secondly, that kid is now the number two guy in the richest outfit in Afghanistan. Best life he will ever have. Finally, the Africans use child soldiers all the time.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: So your argument is that the Africans do it so I can do it too? Why the f*ck did you touch my camera?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You sound more pissed about the camera than you do about Pablo.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: I almost got fired the first day I met you because you threw my camera into your pool.
:: The camera lurches as Randolph gets back behind the camera…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: And now you are an accessory to murder and international drug ring. How far have we come?
TRAVIS RANDOLPH (behind the camera): I’ll claim journalism rights…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You are on camera now telling the whole world your plan to escape arrest. Smart. WcF picked a good one with you.
:: Jason smirks…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: I would joke and say they messed up with you, but the last guy who said that ended up through the windshield of your car.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: He deserved it. You ready to get this thing over with?
:: Randolph frames O’Neal in the shot and the great one speaks…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: War XV. An amazing accomplishment for a company that should have folded over 13 years ago. I’m surprised they made it past 5, but none the less here we are on the cusp of going under once again. F*ck, I almost wish we had a Donald Trump who could make WcF great again. Lackluster talent at the top do to the constant circle jerk, orgy, and swingers group controlling whatever the hell they call a business.
Every one of the cornerstones of this hallowed company are shits and giggles compared to some of the people I’ve dealt with over my life time. Not alone my 4 years in the Indy circuit. Bates being the champion is a disgrace to pro-wrestling in general, but it speaks to logistics of this company. Suck, but brown nose every exec… even become an administrator and get shot after shot after shot until you luck up and get it. Hell, Jason Cash might win it if he pushed 7 times at the title.
It took Mikey Extreme years beyond puberty to pop his cherry. Not like he wasn’t trying to holler at any guy he could find. Meanwhile, the talent is forced to slurp up the scraps from whatever they leave behind. They say shit floats and in this company that is more true than ever. They push talent to the low card until they get bored and move the f*ck on. Learn how to use the talent. Not everyone is a Spearman or Dion. We are not going to be happy lurking around the bottom of the card and picking up wins against shitty people. Alex Winterz? Really… that’s who the f*ck I faced last week.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, I was the number two guy in the TV title match. It was a huge multi-participant match with PPV quality hype. Hype was all it was. Doc Henry… really? He hasn’t been relevant for the last 5 years. Oblivion claims to be relevant but…yeah Cliff of Doom claims to be an outstanding teacher who everyone loves. Anyhoo… I am one of two guys left standing in the ring after all others are eliminated. Next week, Gemini faces Zombie McMorris…a slob knob from the match who I outlasted… he gets the title match one on one against Gemini Battle for the TV Title. I am regulated to the bottom of the deck again.
First off… Gemini Battle is probably the dumbest f*ck I’ve seen in my life. He is excited to win the TV title when he obviously still has some claim to number one contendership for the World Title. Of course the blow hard Corey Black gets the title shot. Why… Uriel Bates made the match. That’s like me going out the ring and saying I’m the baddest and to prove it I will call out…shit insert random jobber here…Adam Young. Bates ignores Battle because he knows he doesn’t have a shot and gets himself a shiny new defense of the title.
Brilliant Bates. Classy move. The best thing about WAR is that Bates can’t avoid the inevitable ass whipping he has coming to him. He can’t avoid the person who gets out of this mass of humanity. The person who survives this and becomes number one contender… well dumbf*ck Battle is the guy already, but the person who wins the match any way… has a shot to take it from Bates.
Odin Belfore… is half right. I am “rookie.” But pure and simple when he looks in the mirror at night he is scared shitless about what’s coming. One on one he would shit his pants if he saw me coming. The old guy walks around like some dinosaur talking about the history of the company like we give a shit. Odin stay your big ass out of my way.
I don’t claim to be the best… I just claim to be better than all the f*cks in this company. I am not God’s gift to wrestling I am the only thing that keeps the fans watching this pathetic company with it’s cookie cutter promos hashtag insert cheesy local here as a backdrop and theme it out. Everytime Travis turns on the camera you will see a day in the life of Jason O’Neal not some staged bullshit like Cliff of Doom or Bates. These f*cker spend 100,000 dollars just to rent studio time in court rooms and schools.
They will spend four and a half hours saying shit that nobody listens two. I know I get the transcripts and read them to see if my name is in them. If not I throw the f*ckers away. I aint got time to read or watch anything that boring. I know… I know… no promo has my name in it. After WAR we will see how much of an impact I will have.
If me not sucking up to the brass… if me not saying how great this wonderful company is and always was …. If my don’t give a shit about the termite ridden pillars of this company attitude is holding me back… I guess I won’t go anywhere. If gimmicks and fake ass game boards about my opponents are what win serious fan approval from this company I guess I won’t win.
Guys like Steven Singh have made livings of sucking up the brass. This is the best place on Earth. The fucker has the nerve to call me an embarrassment. Shit, his parents won’t even show their faces in public if people would find out they are related to him. He has embarrassed all of Nowhereston, USA. I would advise him to stay in his place.
However, if good old fashioned ass kickin and not giving a f*ck about the person in the ring across from you get the job done. Might as well call me champion. It seems like this week everyone took off. We have a two promo quota or we face fines. Ladies and gentlemen of the WcF … this is my contribution to start off WAR week. F*ck all the pretenders in this godforsaken company.
:: The camera fades out…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: The kid f*cking killed his dad for you?
Anyway, introductions… 220.3 kms due north from La Paz lies Sapecho. A small town with a residence of no more than 1,000 people. Today, it has an extra three. Jason O’Neal, Jerome “The Beast” Jenkins (Jason’s massive body guard), and Travis Randolph (WcF Camera man on hire by Jason O’Neal). A few quick scenes of aerial shots from a single prop plane leads into the scene. The frames captured show lush vegetation as the plane lands on a secluded and presumably private runway.
Jason O’Neal is wearing an Armani suit tailored to the best ability. Jerome Jenkins is seen wearing combat gear. Jason’s Ray-Ban aviators catch the light just right as the door of the plane is propped open. The first person in the plane from the outside is a Hispanic man toting an AK-47…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH (panicked behind the camera): You said you had a business trip.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: This is standard business. What did you expect?
HISPANIC MAN (Pointed the gun at Travis): Tienes una camara? O’Neal…Porque?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Carlos, tranquilo. Pone su arma de distincia. El es una persona para me trabajo de WcF. No es DEA o FBI o CIA.
:: What the hell? Jason knows Spanish? Not some dumb street thug after all…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH (still filming the scene): What’s going on? You know Spanish?
: The gun is made ready to fire…
CARLOS: Apague la camara.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: What the hell does he want?
:: Travis is panicking…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL (chill as a cucumber): Turn off the camera f*cktard.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Ok, but you don’t have to call me fuc…
:: The scene fades to black…
----------------------------
:: When we rejoin the crew Jason O’Neal has talked his way into letting the cameras roll. When the word talked is used here… those words generally cost about 20,000 U.S. dollars. Anyhow, Jason and another Hispanic man is seen walking through a relatively large cocoa field through a pre-cut walking path. The camera is on ground level and as it pans it shows just how protective these individuals are of their prized cash crop. At least tenAK47 carrying guards are at the top of guard towers and six are on horseback keeping watch over the workers in the fields. A conversation starts between the two men…
UNIDENTIFIED HISPANIC MAN (Heavy accent): To what do I owe the honor, Mr. O’Neal?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Had a week off figured I’d come check out the supply side. How are we doing?
UNIDENTIFIED MAN: Production is up 23 % to meet demand. You were right, getting involved in the wrestling crap increased your demand.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yeah… mainstream the devil. Now I am in everyone’s home and I am entertainment. If the Feds arrest me… which they won’t because I keep little Emily tucked away in her beautiful princess bed, the public outcry would cause so much of a distraction. I’d be let go in the next day.
UNIDENTIFIED MAN: I am 46, the owner of the largest cocoa field in Bolivia and I was never a wise as you.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Well, Luiz, I learned it all from you, Mi Amigo.
LUIZ: You want to check up on production?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Si, claro…
:: Jason and Luiz continue to meander towards the production hut when a six year old kid comes running from the bushes and hugs Jason’s leg…
LUIZ: No puedes le tocar.
:: Luiz delivers a stiff blow to the back of the head of the filthy barely clothed child…
CHILD: Lo siento. Simplemente quiero veer a Mr. O’Neal. Mi padre se dice venia aqui.
LUIZ: El nino estupido, tenemos negocio. Senor O’Neal no hay tiempo para ti.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: It’s cool, Luiz, business can wait? (To the child) Hablas Ingles?
CHILD: Un poco.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: El gente mira esto no son intelligente as nescistamos hablar in ingles okay?
CHILD (giggles): Okay.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: What is your name and how old are you?
CHILD: Pablo. And I am seis. Six.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Well, Pablo… how long have you worked here?
PABLO: Since I was three. Mi Padre said you are the greatest guy to live. You pay for houses. I want to be like you. Poor one day and rich la proxima.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: It takes hard work and making difficult decisions. What’s your dad’s name?
PABLO: Se llama Carlo.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Come with us Pablo.
LUIZ: He has work to do.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Indeed he does.
------------------------
:: The processors of the cocaine worked diligently packaging the product and swiftly producing then moving the next. The harvesters continue to drop bundles of leaves off as the donkey’s pack back into the fields. The camera pans to Jason O’Neal examining the product and showing it to the little six year old Pablo. Pablo is instructed to taste a bit and licks a portion off of Jason’s finger…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: That’s my boy.
LUIZ: I trust everything is in order.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Great visit. Except for one thing…
LUIZ: What is it Mr. O’Neal…?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Damas y caballeros da me su attencion, por favor.
:: Jason has just stopped the production line of one of the biggest cocaine facilities in South America with the ease and finesse that only he brings…
LUIZ: This stop in production could set us back days…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: No sir… it will put you on top for years to come. Can you please translate for me?
LUIZ (a concern in his voice): I trust you O’Neal.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Good. Now translate. I want the people watching in English to know what I'm saying too.(Getting the affirmation from Luiz) I am Jason O’Neal.
:: Translation and applause. Loud praises of excitement come from the crowd…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Thank you. I am glad to see that the production has risen. (applause) However…(a pause in the crowd)… upon arrival I was utterly disrespected. My friends and I had a gun pointed at us. Is that anyway to treat the man who feeds you?
:: The crowd erupts...NO!!!...
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Seems we should punish the bastard. Right?
:: The crowd applauds louder…
LUIZ: Jason… what are you doing?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Beast…bring him out.
:: From behind the production hut the massive man escorts a man who is handcuffed with a bag over his head. Jason walks up and removes the bag…
PABLO: PAPA!! NO!!!
:: The six year old kid tries to run to father but Jason grabs him by the arm…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Tranquilo, nino.
:: The figure of what used to be Carlos’s very chiseled face is a bloody pulp. The boy breaks down to his knees in tears…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: This is the second in command here and he pulls a gun on me and my friends? No Bueno. (Jason pulls a nine millimeter pistol from his waistline and picks the kid up and whispers in his ear) You want bigger? Shoot the f*cker in the head and I’ll make you bigger than this shithole.
:: Jason hands the gun over to the six year old and POW… without hesitation Carlos falls like a sack of potatoes. The people are shocked…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: 20% pay increase for everyone.
:: The processing crowd pops. Jason takes Pablo under his arm like a proud poppa and begins to walk to the landing strip with a smile on his face. Luiz walks briskly to keep pace…
LUIZ: What the hell was that?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Pablo becoming a man, Me increasing your productivity by getting rid of trigger happy employee who probably killed productive workers who didn’t sleep with him, and a statement to you. Next time have a better plane waiting for me in La Paz.
LUIZ: Okay, okay… I understand, but I’ve told you I can’t land better planes on the landing strip and cars are check pointed.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Figure it out.
:: By this time Jason, Jeromre, Travis, Pablo, and Luiz have all made it back to the plane…
PABLO: I wish you no go.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You are coming with us. I got a job for you.
:: The boy rejoices and the plane is loaded. Scene fades to black…
------------------------
:: DATELINE 7:00pm 9/25/2016 Goshta, Afganistan. The plane landed in yet another remote part of the world. What the hell… O’Neal? Couldn’t save money. Let me guess… Poppy Fields. The plane door opens and the first sight is indeed a poppy field. By the way this is the only place in the world that has more goat f*cking than Gemini Battle’s family reunion. Pablo runs down the steps of the plane. Followed by Jason and The Beast with the camera recording…
PABLO: Senor O’Neal where are we?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Goshta, Afganistan. Halfway around the world.
PABLO: I never go from Sapecho.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: First time for everything.
:: The crew walk towards the only structure present among the poppies. The door swings open and Jason O’Neal and his friends are met with open arms by a man with a long beard and wearing a turban…
ARABIC MAN: Alssalama lankum, Brother O’Neal.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Wa-Alaikum-Salaam, Kahlil.
KAHLIL: Where’s this bonafied killer you have for me?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Meet Pablo Emanuel.
KAHLIL: This is even more idiotic than your wrestling idea. I still do not like the camera here.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: The wrestling idea is working and you know those f*cking troops out there are U.N.. Ain’t nobody shutting you down. They are protecting you. The Pharma companies need you a bit more than I do.
KAHLIL: Which is why I can’t go to the Taliban and tell them my second in command is some six year old Hispanic who picks his nose.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Pablo… Tell Mr. Kahlil what you did four days ago.
PABLO (smiling): I made mi Papa’s head go splat.
KAHLIL: You had the child kill his father…? On camera? You are pulling, how do you say… pulling my leg right? You have to be doing this for ratings or something?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Yes… shit I am the most watched guy in the company and the pay checks are great, but… ask him why he did it.
KAHLIL: Why did you kill your father?
PABLO (without hesitation and with ambition): I want to be the greatest to ever live.
KAHLIL (eyes lit up): Jason you have a deal.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Pure raw opium shipped to processing in Cuba and I’ll handle it from there.
PABLO: Thank you for the opportunity Mr. O’Neal.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Thank you for solving two problems for me.
:: Better business man then Donald Trump. Indeed. The camera fades…
-------------------------
:: When the camera comes up again Jason is seen outside the bathroom of a private jet. The camera is stationary and you can hear retching and vomiting from the bathroom. The Beast is seen sleeping in his seat. Jason knocks on the door…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Travis you going to be alright in there?
:: The toilet flushes and the door cracks open. The camera man is seen stepping out of the bathroom…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: You had a kid kill his dad… and then basically sell him into slavery for opium.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: First off, his dad tried to kill you… you’re welcome. Secondly, that kid is now the number two guy in the richest outfit in Afghanistan. Best life he will ever have. Finally, the Africans use child soldiers all the time.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: So your argument is that the Africans do it so I can do it too? Why the f*ck did you touch my camera?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You sound more pissed about the camera than you do about Pablo.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: I almost got fired the first day I met you because you threw my camera into your pool.
:: The camera lurches as Randolph gets back behind the camera…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: And now you are an accessory to murder and international drug ring. How far have we come?
TRAVIS RANDOLPH (behind the camera): I’ll claim journalism rights…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You are on camera now telling the whole world your plan to escape arrest. Smart. WcF picked a good one with you.
:: Jason smirks…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: I would joke and say they messed up with you, but the last guy who said that ended up through the windshield of your car.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: He deserved it. You ready to get this thing over with?
:: Randolph frames O’Neal in the shot and the great one speaks…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: War XV. An amazing accomplishment for a company that should have folded over 13 years ago. I’m surprised they made it past 5, but none the less here we are on the cusp of going under once again. F*ck, I almost wish we had a Donald Trump who could make WcF great again. Lackluster talent at the top do to the constant circle jerk, orgy, and swingers group controlling whatever the hell they call a business.
Every one of the cornerstones of this hallowed company are shits and giggles compared to some of the people I’ve dealt with over my life time. Not alone my 4 years in the Indy circuit. Bates being the champion is a disgrace to pro-wrestling in general, but it speaks to logistics of this company. Suck, but brown nose every exec… even become an administrator and get shot after shot after shot until you luck up and get it. Hell, Jason Cash might win it if he pushed 7 times at the title.
It took Mikey Extreme years beyond puberty to pop his cherry. Not like he wasn’t trying to holler at any guy he could find. Meanwhile, the talent is forced to slurp up the scraps from whatever they leave behind. They say shit floats and in this company that is more true than ever. They push talent to the low card until they get bored and move the f*ck on. Learn how to use the talent. Not everyone is a Spearman or Dion. We are not going to be happy lurking around the bottom of the card and picking up wins against shitty people. Alex Winterz? Really… that’s who the f*ck I faced last week.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, I was the number two guy in the TV title match. It was a huge multi-participant match with PPV quality hype. Hype was all it was. Doc Henry… really? He hasn’t been relevant for the last 5 years. Oblivion claims to be relevant but…yeah Cliff of Doom claims to be an outstanding teacher who everyone loves. Anyhoo… I am one of two guys left standing in the ring after all others are eliminated. Next week, Gemini faces Zombie McMorris…a slob knob from the match who I outlasted… he gets the title match one on one against Gemini Battle for the TV Title. I am regulated to the bottom of the deck again.
First off… Gemini Battle is probably the dumbest f*ck I’ve seen in my life. He is excited to win the TV title when he obviously still has some claim to number one contendership for the World Title. Of course the blow hard Corey Black gets the title shot. Why… Uriel Bates made the match. That’s like me going out the ring and saying I’m the baddest and to prove it I will call out…shit insert random jobber here…Adam Young. Bates ignores Battle because he knows he doesn’t have a shot and gets himself a shiny new defense of the title.
Brilliant Bates. Classy move. The best thing about WAR is that Bates can’t avoid the inevitable ass whipping he has coming to him. He can’t avoid the person who gets out of this mass of humanity. The person who survives this and becomes number one contender… well dumbf*ck Battle is the guy already, but the person who wins the match any way… has a shot to take it from Bates.
Odin Belfore… is half right. I am “rookie.” But pure and simple when he looks in the mirror at night he is scared shitless about what’s coming. One on one he would shit his pants if he saw me coming. The old guy walks around like some dinosaur talking about the history of the company like we give a shit. Odin stay your big ass out of my way.
I don’t claim to be the best… I just claim to be better than all the f*cks in this company. I am not God’s gift to wrestling I am the only thing that keeps the fans watching this pathetic company with it’s cookie cutter promos hashtag insert cheesy local here as a backdrop and theme it out. Everytime Travis turns on the camera you will see a day in the life of Jason O’Neal not some staged bullshit like Cliff of Doom or Bates. These f*cker spend 100,000 dollars just to rent studio time in court rooms and schools.
They will spend four and a half hours saying shit that nobody listens two. I know I get the transcripts and read them to see if my name is in them. If not I throw the f*ckers away. I aint got time to read or watch anything that boring. I know… I know… no promo has my name in it. After WAR we will see how much of an impact I will have.
If me not sucking up to the brass… if me not saying how great this wonderful company is and always was …. If my don’t give a shit about the termite ridden pillars of this company attitude is holding me back… I guess I won’t go anywhere. If gimmicks and fake ass game boards about my opponents are what win serious fan approval from this company I guess I won’t win.
Guys like Steven Singh have made livings of sucking up the brass. This is the best place on Earth. The fucker has the nerve to call me an embarrassment. Shit, his parents won’t even show their faces in public if people would find out they are related to him. He has embarrassed all of Nowhereston, USA. I would advise him to stay in his place.
However, if good old fashioned ass kickin and not giving a f*ck about the person in the ring across from you get the job done. Might as well call me champion. It seems like this week everyone took off. We have a two promo quota or we face fines. Ladies and gentlemen of the WcF … this is my contribution to start off WAR week. F*ck all the pretenders in this godforsaken company.
:: The camera fades out…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: The kid f*cking killed his dad for you?
