Some People Call Me the Space Cowboy
Sept 24, 2016 21:19:23 GMT -5
Alex Richards, Lilith, and 2 more like this
Post by Jay Omega on Sept 24, 2016 21:19:23 GMT -5
~At the edge of the solar system, just beyond the outer reach of the Oort cloud surrounding the star known as Sol, a swirling vortex in a kaleidoscopic tempest of hues tore a rift in the metaphysical separation between subspace and normal space. Crackling forks of energy spat forth from the gaping rent in reality, and from the depths of the artificial wormhole emerged an object so unlike anything seen on Earth that one would have to already know what it was in order to classify it as a spacecraft. Such a classification would only be partly correct however, for though it was indeed a spacecraft, it was also a fully sentient living being. The techno-organic creature slid smoothly from the aperture, and upon its re-entry into the flow of normal space-time, a series of large spires rose up along the top of the hull. Once fully erect, the spires unfurled a series of sail-like appendages resembling leathery wings, with a multitude more spreading out along the length of the craft's body. The wings beat once in unison, then extended to their fullest to catch the solar winds - weak at this distance, but still powerful enough for the beast to alter its course. Hundreds of millions of miles away, a relatively small, green and blue orb spun lazily around the star which was the center of this system; the entire planet completely unaware of the incredible power approaching them.
Inside a domed chamber within the bio-mechanical beast's crested head, a pair of beings - one human, one most certainly not - shared a seat designed for a body much larger than either of theirs. As there was plenty of seating available, such proximity wasn't a necessity, but a choice. The couple's limbs were entwined in a lover's knot, the violet flesh of the female's cheek lay nestled against the bronzed shoulder of her consort. Barely awake, she let out a small sound of contentment and brushed a stray strand of aquamarine hair from her face, then resumed her gentle grip on the bare chest of the mighty warrior she had taken for a mate; the inter-dimensional, space-faring, time-traveling adventurer-slash-pro wrestler known far and wide as "The Omega Man", Jay Omega. The hero of our tale - and many others - Omega remained fully alert, paying rapt attention to the starscape streaming along the viewscreens, his gaze full of wonder. The surreal beauty of traveling at translight speeds was surpassed only by the exotic beauty of the alien princess wrapped around him. For what seemed the millionth time, Jay marveled at his incredible luck; sure he was an immeasurably good looking man to begin with, possessed of numerous desirable qualities, which had made attracting female attention nearly effortless for him. But this?
What seemed like purest happenstance had led to (arguably) the greatest stable ever conceived - The Guardians - having a race to the moon in the personal vehicles constructed for each of them by the greatest engineer in the history of mankind, one Nikola Tesla. And it was solely by chance that Omega had noticed a metallic glint nearly buried on the far side of Earth's natural satellite. That glint had turned out to be the sentient starship in which Jay now rode; an enormous, peaceful space-faring creature which resembled a strange mix between an old naval warship, and what could only be described as a space dragon. This had seemingly been a catalyst, for shortly thereafter, first contact was made with an alien scout ship, just beyond the range of government surveillance equipment between the moon and Mars. The scout ship had turned out to be hostile, leading to a brief, but intense firefight among the stars. The Guardians had emerged victorious, and astronavigation charts salvaged from the wreckage of the alien ship had led the Guardians on an intergalactic voyage. The space between the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies was far too vast for a human mind to comprehend, yet with the help of their space dragon friend, the trip had taken only a matter of hours, less than a full day.
They had been woefully unprepared for the military might they faced upon arrival, with Omega himself being shot down almost immediately. The other Guardians had managed to escape the overwhelming battle and evade capture, though not without injuries. And that was when Jay's life changed forever. For after crashing down on the fifth planet from a blue star, Omega was captured by a ragtag force rebelling against their cruel and tyrannical Empress - a force which just so happened to be led by the Empress' twin sister. There had been immediate chemistry between The Omega Man and the Imperial Princess, though any canoodling they may have tried for was consistently interrupted by the need to blow shit up. Once the Guardians had successfully mounted a rescue operation, and subsequently saved the rebel forces from a rout, the companions had made their way back to Earth, thinking it unlikely they would ever return. Fate had different plans, though. Less than a month after the Guardians' return, the Imperial Princess Ymsyllynt'ash'Andwalu - known more informally as Lady Tasha - arrived on Earth searching for the man she (rightly) believed to be the planet's greatest hero, Jay Omega. Seeking the aid of the man who had been crowned Champion of the World on more than occasion, the Lady Tasha had spun a tragic tale of a steady increase in her sister's oppressive rule.
Being the man that he was, Jay hadn't hesitated for even a moment before offering his aid, and the pair had loaded up on weaponry before bidding the Guardians farewell, and heading for the stars. Two months had passed while Omega helped the alien warrior princess fight a losing war against a better armed enemy, though the rebels had claimed more than a few strategic victories. But now the war was all but lost; Imperial forces had hired a mercenary who had broken the back of the rebellion, and most recently the Empress Nyriymins'ash'Andwalu had begun developing a biological weapon of devastating proportion. What remained of the rebel intelligence network had passed word that the bio-weapon would be ready for testing within a fortnight, and at that point Jay had realized that things had spiraled far beyond his control. If there was to be any victory on Aja Darrik for the rebellion, they would need more help than Omega could provide alone. It was time to bring in the Guardians. And so, Lord Omega and Lady Tasha took the remainder of their forces and squirreled them away as best they could on one of Aja Darrik's twin moons, hoping they'd be safe while the power couple crossed the dead void of intergalactic space in order to enlist the aid of Jay's compatriots.
And somehow, despite all of these events - or perhaps because of them - Omega and Tasha had somehow found the time to not only flirt with wild abandon, but they had also found the time to... discover the compatibility and dissimilarities of their physiology. There had been a few missteps, and more than one surprise, but those had turned out to mostly be pleasant. Though they had evolved from vastly different species in completely different parts of the universe, enough of the mechanics remained similar enough to allow Jay and Tasha to eschew the Mile High Club, and enter the Orbital Bone Zone. And unlike other forms of space exploration, re-entry was not a concerning issue. The thought caused Omega's face to stretch into his trademark half-baked half-grin with a bit of a lascivious twist, and he glanced down at Tasha, wondering if perhaps they had enough time for another bit of "exploring" before they made Earthfall. The rapid deceleration of the living craft derailed that train of thought before it could leave the station, and The Omega Man gave a half-shrug at the lost opportunity; it wasn't like there'd never be another. As they drew closer to the familiar emerald and azure ball of rock he called home, though, Jay's Omega Sense began tingling; something wasn't quite right.
Or rather, something was a little too right. It was a minor sensation - so minute that most people would never have noticed - but when one had spent as much time tripping around the Metaverse as Omega had, even the slightest shift in atomic frequency could set one's nerves jangling. Jay wasn't sure of the specifics just yet, but he was willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that the energy pulse they'd flown through while traversing the wormhole had shunted them into an alternate reality. One he'd been to before, judging by the sensation of familiarity. Goosebumps rose up all along Omega's exposed flesh as realization sunk in; this wasn't an alternate reality, it was his original one. A wave of revulsion swept through Jay as he recalled the specifics of his last visit to this place; he had just been resurrected by a being who had introduced himself as The Director, given an all-too brief summary of events after his inauspicious title loss to Wade Moor and departure from the WCF and Earth, then dropped into into what would have been the strangest restaurant he'd ever seen, if he had never been to the timeline in which people were sentient cheeses, but that's a story for another time.
After being restored to the land of the living for the third(?) time, and making fast friends with fellow adventurers/pro wrestlers Bonnie Blue and the Polar Phantasm, the trio had correctly deduced they were no longer in their reality of origin, and attempted to return. Things did not go as planned, though, as a deviant creature had perverted the world they had once cherished. Hopeless and forlorn, the group had slunk back to the new world they had found themselves in, determined to uncover the mysteries entangled in that reality's very existence. Something had changed since then, though; Jay no longer sensed the phallic aura that had overshadowed the land. A relieving notion, to be sure, but by this point, Omega found himself too invested in safeguarding the new reality he had sworn to protect upon the formation of the Guardians. The city of Chicago alone had enough gangs and fight cartels vying for power to keep the Guardians occupied for a year, to say nothing of the rest of the planet, galaxy, or universe. With a heavy sigh, Jay prepared to abandon his point of origin once again, when Tasha awoke from her nap, and smiled at him sleepily. With a languid stretch, the princess ran her fingers lightly across Omega's chest, up the side of his neck, and pulled his head closer to hers for a passionate kiss.
"Have I told you how delightful an expression of affection that is?" Tasha murmured as she drew away, clearly relishing the taste of Jay on her lips. "Only about a dozen times since the first one." Omega replied, "And your technique is really improving." She smiled at the compliment, far more pleased with the praise than she let show. "Well, I have an excellent instructor." She said graciously, and nipped playfully at Jay's shoulder. "Though it does not surprise me to learn that Earth's finest gladiator is as skilled in the art of intimacy as he is in the theater of war; the two are closely linked in my culture as well." The princess' words sparked something in Omega's memory, and he sat up with an expression of confused concentration as he puzzled his way through the knot of half-formed thoughts bubbling in his subconscious. "Hold on, what day is it?" He asked himself softly. Jay gently extricated himself from Tasha's embrace and moved about the chamber the Guardians had dubbed the Bridge, collecting the discarded articles of his clothing that had been strewn about in a fit of passion. The clothing itself was of little concern - Tasha was quite appreciative of his physique, and Grimmauld the starship had only a passing interest in the mating habits of his passengers - but it was rather important that he find his W.E.I.R.D.
Developed by Nikola Tesla, the Wearable Espionage, Infiltration, and Reconnaissance Device resembled a curved, flexible smartphone worn on the forearm, the design itself a streamlined version of Polar Phantasm's functional replica Pip-Boy wrist computer, though infinitely more powerful. As if to illustrate that point, Omega booted up the device, and had it sync with the closest orbiting satellite. Decryption protocols written by the 23rd century virtual intelligence which lived in his power armour easily broke through the firewalls of the government spy probe, and granted Jay access to the global network within nanoseconds. The W.E.I.R.D. re-calibrated from Darrikaan time to Earth time, and Omega shook his head at the information. He'd been around the block enough times to know that coincidence was bullshit. To have arrived in this universe, at this time... It was more than mere happenstance. "I brought us here, didn't I, Grimmauld?" The ship's response was as much telepathic as it was auditory, though Jay didn't fully understand either one. The synthetic warbling reverberated inside Omega's skull, evoking emotions and vague images. Try as he might, Jay could still find no better way to describe the techno-organic creature's sounds than "cosmic whale song".
The bio-mechanical starship's message first gave a sense of confirmation, followed by a tumultuous clump of images that made Omega feel a great longing, then burgeoning excitement, a desire to impress, then all these sensations at once, with a few indescribable ones thrown in for good measure. Though unable to fully comprehend the ship's communications the way Bonnie could, Jay understood enough to catch the gist of Grimmauld's meaning; the ship had responded to his subconscious mental cues, using the Hartnell-Capaldi drive to slip through the Devachanic Realm, and cross the boundary between realities. "Your world is a majestic sight to behold," Tasha said as she slipped an arm around Jay's waist. Despite his above average reflexes and keen senses, Tasha had proven herself admirably stealthy; it wasn't easy to sneak up on someone who expected combat to break out at any moment. Jay ran an appreciative look over his lover's lithe nudity, his gaze lingering on the paler lavender patches of skin not often touched by Aja Darrik's sun, then brought his eyes back up to her face and just watched her as she took in the view of Earth. "I had little opportunity to truly absorb its beauty on my last visit; I was somewhat preoccupied with not becoming a colorful stain smeared across the planet's surface."
Omega gave Tasha a light swat on the bottom, then turned away from the viewscreen in order to continue collecting his clothing. "Well, I hope your heart's not set on doing any sightseeing," Jay said with a note of warning in his voice, "This ain't exactly the Earth you picked me up on, Sweet Cheeks." She turned to look at him then, a disparaging expression on her face showing her distaste for that particular pet name. The effect it had on Omega was not the one she expected, as he let out an amused guffaw. "Different species, different galaxy, same Xor-damned expressions. I swear there's a whole set of looks just hard-coded into female Dee En Ay." The comment caused Tasha to lift a bright blue eyebrow, her expression letting him know in no uncertain terms that he was treading dangerous ground. Of course, this was precisely the response a human woman would have had, which Jay took to be proof of his ridiculous assertion. He was wise enough not to give voice to that, though, and held up his hands in mock surrender. Tasha crossed her arms under her breasts, and gave him a long, level look. Her silence went on long enough that Omega began to feel as though he should say something, but the moment he opened his mouth, Tasha cut him off.
"I do not approve of you calling me 'Sweet Cheeks', my Lord Omega." Tasha declared, a touch of frost chilling her voice. "As my consort, I have allowed you several freedoms that would result in anyone else being executed. I understand that there are cultural differences between us, and some allowances must be made, but the other side of the coin is that a certain amount of decorum must be maintained." Jay tried to object again, but the purple princess was having none of it. A flush rising in her cheeks turned them a lovely shade of magenta as she ramped up for a full-on Imperial tirade. "Due to the nature of our relationship and my... feelings for you," Tasha's voice faltered momentarily, and the flush in her cheeks deepened slightly as she stumbled over the admission, but her voice strengthened with formality as her spine stiffened. "It is acceptable for you to use my singular name in private, but only in private. You would bring me great shame to call me such where others could hear." The irony of making a statement about shame while completely nude seemed lost on Tasha, though Jay supposed that also might be a cultural difference. Either way, he was impressed by the way she could seem so regal while standing in the buff.
"In formal situations, you really should use my full name, including my title," Tasha continued, the edge in her voice softening slightly, "It is not a form of address that I find appealing, but when dealing with matters of state, what one prefers often contradicts what is customary." Though a man with a rather laid-back attitude, Omega was understanding of her demands; nobility often stood more on pomp and ceremony than any measure of practicality. Part of why he disliked most people as affluent as he. "Okay, I got it; Sweet Cheeks is off the table," Jay conceded, "But if I can't call you Tasha in public, what am I supposed to call you?" The confusion expressed on the princess' face mirrored the sensation Omega was feeling. "If the social setting is informal, why would you not be able to use my familiar name?" She asked, confusing Jay further. "Because you just said I can only call you that in private." A dazzling smile spread across Tasha's face, and she let out a silvery laugh that tinkled like crystal chimes. "No, dear one, 'Tasha' is my familiar name." Seeing that the explanation didn't actually explain anything, Tasha elaborated on the naming conventions of the Darrikaan people.
"When born, a Darrikaan infant is given a formal name that consists of three parts," Tasha's tone took on a lecturing quality as she expounded on her culture, though her bearing remained just as dignified. "The first part is referred to as the singular name, and is only used among members of one's immediate family, and lovers." Another slight blush coloured the princess' cheeks once more. "The middle section of the formal name represents one's parentage by taking the first letters of the singular names of the father, mother, and doula. And finally, the last segment of the formal name indicates what House the child belongs to." Not generally one to be interested in academia, Omega nevertheless found himself enthralled by the explanation. Though, again, the nudity may have had something to do with it. "With the singular name reserved for those with a close connection, and the formal name being too, well, formal, Darrikaans use the familiar name for casual conversation among peers. The familiar name is found by taking the last letter of the singular name, and the first letter of your house's name, and placing them on either side of your parental bridge. To give an example; if I were to formally introduce myself, I would declare that I am Her Imperial Highness Ymsyllynt'ash'Andwalu. When in private, such as here in your cosmic craft, you may call me Ymsyllynt, but it is unacceptable in any other situation. Do you understand?"
Surprisingly, Jay understood completely. He stepped forward to take his extraterrestrial lover into his arms, and gently stroked her aquamarine hair. "Absolutely, Ymsyllynt," He said softly into her ear, "I would never intentionally do anything to shame you, babe." It took a moment, but Tasha's posture loosened, and she returned Omega's embrace. Just when it began to seem as though they would stand like that until they turned to stone, the princess pulled herself back slightly, and met Jay's gaze. "I understand you must be eager to reunite with your comrades-in-arms, and the sooner we return to Aja Darrik the better," Tasha began, then bit her bottom lip in an adorable expression of uncertainty, "But do you suppose that before we make landfall, we might find time to--" Tasha cut off with a surprised squeal of delight as Jay literally swept her off her feet, scooped her into his arms, and began to head toward his quarters. "For you, Ymsyllynt, I will make time." He said with a lascivious chuckle. Tasha giggled in kind, and slung an arm around The Omega Man's neck as he carried her off.~
~An unspecified amount of time later, Jay and Tasha stood on the Bridge once more, though this time they were both fully clothed. There was no need for Omega to have any direct control over the re-entry and landing procedures; Grimmauld was already familiar with Earth's atmosphere, and the Cryogenix compound hidden in the Colorado Rockies would be abandoned in this reality. That thought sparked a metaphorical light bulb over Jay's head, and he turned to Tasha to explain what he had realized earlier. "Oh yeah, I kind of mentioned this earlier, but, uh, this isn't the planet you picked me up on." The princess looked at him with several questions in her eyes, but Omega held up a hand to forestall her. "It is Earth, and technically, this is exactly where I came from, but..." Jay drew a deep breath as he sought an understandable explanation for multiverse theory. "Basically, the whole universe - in fact, all of what we'd call 'reality' - is just one of an infinite number." Omega paused as he tried to gather his thoughts, when Tasha interrupted with an explanation of her own. "You speak of the infinite realms of the Metaverse, do you not?" Flabbergasted, Jay could do nothing but stare at her in slack-jawed amazement.
The princess smiled up at him, and pushed his jaw closed with her fingertips. "Does my knowledge surprise you?" She asked, with some measure of amusement. "Uh, yeah, a little." Omega replied honestly. It had been his experience that most people dismissed him as a raving madman when he began to speak of alternate realities, and higher planes of existence. People had told him half his life experiences were a matter of fiction and self-delusion because they couldn't possibly be real, and that was back when he only had access to time travel. Very few people on Earth would even be able to comprehend Tasha's existence, let alone Grimmauld's. "Really, dear one," Tasha said with mock disappointment as she shook her head at him, and lightly patted his cheek. "The Darrikaan Stellar Empire spans countless worlds across dozens of star systems; from what you have told me of your people, humans would be considered primitive by our standards. Why, you haven't even colonized your own moon. let alone mastered the subtleties of manipulating energy at the quantum scale." Jay felt rather foolish; Darrikaan technology was far more advanced than human - they could create stable wormholes after all - so it was perfectly reasonable that their scientific community had already cracked secrets of the Metaverse that humanity didn't even believe in yet.
"Fair enough," Omega said with a nod, "Well anyways, myself - and the rest of the Guardians, actually - all come from this reality. I'm not sure of the specifics because I was dead at the time - long story, I'll tell ya later - but there was some sort of incident in a region called Mexico. Next thing I know, I'm sitting in a crazy restaurant with a spectacular view, and swearing an oath to safeguard your universe. You pretty much know the rest of that story, babe, so I'll skip the details, and jump straight to why we're here, at this particular point in time." A dangerous light entered Jay's eye, and his face broke into a feral grin. "It's time to wage war." Omega declared with more than a hint of eager anticipation in his voice. At the thought of seeing her consort in battle again, Tasha also perked up, though her spirits were slightly deflated when Jay explained what he meant. There was to be no glory found in the slaying of enemies, much to Tasha's disappointment, as the event was strictly non-lethal, but her interest was piqued again as Omega went on. "Now, it may not be deadly, but it sure as Hell will be violent. It's a grand melee to determine who's worthy of facing the World Champion at the year's end, though sometimes circumstances are such that the winner of the event is simply crowned World Champion. That's what happened when I won last year, anyway."
The casual admission slightly impressed the princess; she had known her lover was a formidable force on the battlefield - she had seen his prowess firsthand - but to have overcome more than forty opponents in the span of three hours, using nothing but his fists and feet, and being careful to not take anyone's life? Even the most strictly disciplined battlemaster of her world would have difficulty remaining entirely non-lethal under those circumstances. "This will be the fifteenth event by this name, and to my knowledge, nobody has ever won two years in a row. At least, not until now. I can't say for sure what's happened here since my departure almost a year ago, but I do know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there's not a man alive in this reality who can hold a candle to me in that ring." Tasha didn't doubt Jay's statement in the slightest, though she was eager to see him put it to the test. She said as much, with a slight huskiness to her voice, and the nature of Omega's grin changed. "Krishna, you are insatiable aren't you?" Tasha blushed again, her modesty at odds with how forward she could be at times. "Everything I was taught on the matter dealt with Darrikaan physiology," The princess tried to explain, "That fact that your, ahem, lover's staff engorges itself is incredible enough, but the size of it compared to a Darrikaan's is..."
Tasha's eyes widened almost imperceptibly as she trailed off, remembering the first time she had seen what Jay was packing. Not that it was overly large by human standards - a little more generous than average - but Darrikaan wedding tackle was significantly smaller. The princess shook herself out of that memory before she got lost in the wondrous sensations that had followed, and found a proud smile on Omega's face. What man doesn't enjoy being told how "big" he is? "Yeah, well, there are a few differences between your lady bits and a human's as well, darlin'." Jay responded, "You've got way more control over those muscles than any woman on Earth, that's for damn sure. But if we keep talking about sex, we're just gonna end up back in bed. And while I certainly have no complaints about that, I'm gonna need to straighten out a few details on Earth real quick if I plan on kicking a bunch of ass here before we go grab the Guardians." Tasha pouted at him, which nearly caused Omega to change his mind on the spot. He held fast though, and turned his attention toward his homeworld. "All right, Grimmauld, take us in. Pretty sure there's not gonna be anybody at Aitch Cue, but let's try for stealth anyway, yeah?" A slight shift in the colour of the internal lighting was the only indication that the sentient starship had engaged the retroreflective panels along his hull, rendering him invisible to most means of visual perception.
In only a matter of moments, they had breached Earth's atmosphere, and were on course for an abandoned military complex in the mountains of Colorado. When they drew nearer, Jay used his W.E.I.R.D. to tap into the control systems of the compound and opened the missile silo, giving Grimmauld a place to safely land. Only a few moments more, and The Omega Man was helping Her Imperial Highness disembark the bio-mechanical space dragon. Omega made a sweeping gesture with one arm, taking in the dark, dusty interior of the subterranean compound. "Allow me to formally welcome you to the planet Earth, my lady." Jay said, his voice slipping into an exaggerated imitation of Patrick Stewart. The words were hardly out of his mouth when an alarm klaxon began to blare, and red lights began flashing all about them. "Security alert; perimeter breach. Intruders in missile bay, sub-level four." The electronic voice that crackled over the public address system was immediately familiar to Omega, though he doubted that this version of the self-aware supercomputer named Iceberg-7 would recognize his. Jay could have taken the time to convince I-7 of his benign intentions, but he opted to take the more expedient route, and turned to his W.E.I.R.D. once more. Tapping a few keys in rapid succession, Omega transmitted an authentication code given to him by Polar, one of I-7's "parents".
"Authorization confirmed. Welcome, user Jay Omega." I-7 said as he cancelled the security protocols, "How may this unit be of service today?" Jay tapped a few more keys before he responded. "I'm sending you an information package, buddy; gonna need you to make some calls for me and sort out some details." The supercomputer let out an electronic tone of confirmation as it received the file, then made a sound that was the computer equivalent of a pleasurable sigh. "This unit is pleased to serve. This unit has not been activated for several months. This unit is concerned for the well-being of user Polar Phantasm." Omega nodded sadly, struck with the sudden realization that the sentient machine was capable of feeling lonely, which made him wonder how Erin was doing without him. At the very least, Jay could soothe I-7's fears. "Don't stress your circuits, Eye-Seven," Omega told the computer in a gentle voice, "The whole Bankston family is alive and well, they've just been, uh, transplanted. To another reality. It's kind of difficult to explain, because I ain't exactly an expert on the subject, despite being the closest thing to an expert there is on this kind of thing." Jay shrugged offhandedly, and waved a dismissive hand. "Whatever, do a quick search on quantum mechanics and multiverse theory, and you'll understand better than I can explain."
I-7 beeped in confirmation again, and went about following orders. Meanwhile, Omega took Tasha by the hand and led her deeper into the complex. Even if Iceberg-7 completed the tasks he'd been given in the next five seconds, it would still be several hours before Jay could take the next step in the process of joining the lineup for WAR. And he had a few ideas on how to spend those hours that he believed the alien princess might approve of.~
~No sooner had the wheels of the AgustaWestland AW101 VVIP luxury helicopter touched down, than Jay Omega drew back the hatch, and hopped down onto the asphalt of the parking lot of WCF World Headquarters in Reading, Pennsylvania. A quick glance around showed a distinct lack of disturbing imagery, which was another huge relief, but something inside him still urged caution. As Tasha approached the door and made ready to exit the chopper, Jay held up his hand, and took a more intent look around. He still didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but he hadn't made it this far in life by ignoring his instincts. "Hold on. my Lady," Omega said, turning to face her with a cautious expression, "Stay here with the helicopter; I'd rather you not have to deal with what I'm about to walk into. Not that I don't think you could," Jay added hurriedly, noting the quirked eyebrow at the implication, "But someone of your status shouldn't have to, know what I mean? Nothing but minor contract negotiations; boring stuff. Quick though. I shouldn't take too long at all." Tasha pouted prettily, but nodded her consent. "Do be swift, my Lord Omega. Perhaps I will educate myself further about this 'wrestling' while you make your negotiations."
"Eh, no worries, Tasha; I'll be swifter than Taylor." The blank look of incomprehension Tasha gave him caused the smile to slide off his face. "That's... that's an Earth pop culture reference. Shit, I just realized how much I have to show you. Trust me, that was worth at least a chuckle, Even Corey Black's legendary stony scowl would've cracked for that. Right, you don't know who he is, either." Omega rubbed at the back of his neck with a sheepish smile, and shrugged at Tasha. "Yeah, maybe look into wrestling while I'm gone, and a few other things, too." Before she could object to the action, Jay leaned in and stole a brief kiss, then skipped back out of range of any retaliation with a mischievous grin. "That's a good luck custom here on Earth, but if it offends your royal sensibilities, you can get me back for it later." The princess tried to fix him with a stern look, but her expression quickly melted into one that matched his own. "I shall forgive your insolence this time, knave, but next time I will have your head on a pike." The playful tone of her voice belied the severity of Tasha's words, and Omega shot her a wink before he turned to stroll toward his former place of employ.
It had been quite some time since he had tread this ground, but Jay Omega was a household name, and he received instant - if surprised - recognition upon his entry to the building. Jay gave casual waves to the stunned suits as he passed them by, and sauntered up to the reception desk where he leaned casually against the polished mahogany. "Hey there, Shannan, long time no see. Good to see you finally got a job that doesn't involve sucking Jayson Price's dick." The young woman on the other side of the desk looked up at him with a scowl. "Ugh, you. What are you even doing here?" Asked the somewhat attractive Shannan Lerch, sister of WCF owner Seth. Jay pulled back from the reception desk, and raised his hands defensively. "Whoa, hey, what's with the hostility? Do you just hate anyone with the name Jay by association?" In response, Shannan flipped him off with a well-manicured finger. "Yeah, that must be it." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at him. "Seriously though, what the Hell are you doing here?" With an easy smile, Omega spread his arms wide, and inhaled deeply through his nose. "I've come to do what I do best; kick ass and take names. But to do that, I need to have a few words with your brother; is the metaphorically big man in today?"
Shannan's face was a perfect picture of sympathy and her voice practically dripped with regret, which was all Jay needed to know that she was full of shit when she replied. "Nooo, sorry. He's in New York, finalizing details with the venue." Omega gave a mocking smile at her simpering tone, and turned deeper into the building, heading for the boss' office. "Don't bother calling security, Shannan; they know better than to fuck with me." Jay pushed through a set of double doors marked "Employees Only", and quickly made his way to the office of Seth Lerch. Omega's cursory rap on the door as he pushed it open was a mere formality, and Seth himself looked up at Jay, holding a telephone receiver in his hand. "Yeah, he just walked in. Thanks anyway, Shannan." Lerch hung up the phone, and warily eyed Omega as the man made himself comfortable in the plush leather seat opposite Seth's desk. "I have to admit, I'm a little surprised to see you." Seth said as Jay made himself comfortable. Lerch pulled open the top drawer of his desk and retrieved a 40 ounce bottle of Bacardi 151 rum, then pulled an empty tumbler closer to himself. "First you tuck tail and disappear after losing the World Championship to Wade Moor - the man who should have rightfully won it in the first place - then you show up out of the blue for Trios, make commitments for Thirteen, and then just fuck off with half my roster."
Seth shook his head slowly, marveling at the audacity of the man before him. "After the Incident in Mexico, I didn't think I'd ever see your face again." Lerch carefully measured two fingers worth of liquor into the well-cut crystal, glanced up at Omega, sighed, then filled the tumbler to three quarters. "And now you just stroll in here like nothing happened expecting... what? To just pick back up where you left off? To be in WAR?" Seth shook his head again, and drained the glass in a single, long swallow. Lerch refilled the tumbler to halfway before he continued, and met Jay's eyes over the half-raised glass. "You think I'm going to let you anywhere near the World Championship? You'll be lucky if you get close enough to take a sniff of Bates' hickory cologne." With no response immediately forthcoming, Seth shrugged and downed the second drink. The second since Omega had arrived, anyway. As he set the glass down, the WCF owner belched softly, and exhaled the noxious fumes in Jay's direction. Omega wafted the stench away with a grimace, but remained silent. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't have security throw you out on your ass." Jay cracked a smile at the request, and finally deigned to speak. "I'll give you two, Seth. Number one; there ain't enough security guards in the building to get me out of this room, let alone out of the building, and you damn well know it." Lerch gave him a sour look, and almost reached for the telephone.
"And number two; because you're a businessman." Seth's hand changed direction, grabbing instead for his rum. "The name Jay Omega is a huge draw, and you damn well know that, too." The Omega Man spread his hands in a manner that begged Lerch to disprove the statement. When Seth poured another drink and passed it across the desk, Jay's face slipped into his trademark half-baked half-grin. Omega raised the glass with a slight incline of his head, and drained the alcohol. "Now, I don't know what you're talking about when you bring up Trios and Thirteen, and I have yet to get a full explanation of what exactly this 'Incident' everyone talks about was, considering I don't even remember the last time I was in Mexico." Jay slid the glass back across the desk, leaned back in the chair, and kicked his feet up onto Seth's desk. Lerch scowled at the action, but it did nothing to remove the custom fit leather footwear from his desk, so he elected to ignore them. "Having me in WAR is a great way to bump buyrates. I get that it wouldn't be a huge increase in sales, considering how big an event it is in the first place, but it's not like you're gonna turn down more money, right?" Jay raised an eyebrow in question, but didn't give Seth a chance to respond. The response was a foregone conclusion, anyway.
"But if and when I win WAR... well, not only is that another feather in my cap, but think of what that would do for One's buyrates. Just think of that for a moment." Jay fell silent then, allowing Lerch's greedy little mind to consider the possibilities. WCF was a juggernaut in the worlds of both sports and entertainment, so there was no doubt that Seth had been able to rebuild his roster and carry on with barely a hitch. But there was also no doubt that there wasn't anyone on the roster capable of drawing a crowd like Jay Omega could. The Omega Man watched Lerch's eyes glaze over, and the tip of his tongue poke between his lips. "Look, I ain't gonna pretend to know anything about half the guys on the roster - not yet, anyway - but if you're seriously telling me that the man on top of the mountain is Tommy Bates, well that tells me all I need to know right there. You put my name on the marquee for One, and sales are gonna go through the roof for every show between now and then." Seth refocused his eyes and poured himself another drink. Lerch swirled the rum in his tumbler, but didn't drink it just yet. "That's a pretty big assumption you're making, Omega. Just because you won WAR last year doesn't mean you'll win again this year. I'd say that Joey Flash has a pretty good chance of it."
Jay's feet hit the floor with a thump, and all traces of nonchalance evaporated from his face like mist in the morning light as he sat forward. The intensity in his gaze actually drove Seth back in his seat, and the edge in his voice was like a blade being drawn from its sheathe. "Flash is gonna be there?" Lerch nodded mutely, the drink in his hand forgotten. "Put me in the lineup, Seth. You can't protect Flash forever. Better that I get my hands on him in the ring, or would you prefer I catch up to him in the parking lot, where there aren't any cameras?" Lerch's eyes flickered to the drink in his hand, and his tongue darted across his lips again. "So you'll be returning full-time, then?" Seth asked, his tone unsure. Omega's face displayed a torn expression, and he sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Oooh, about that..." Lerch shook his head, drained his glass, and waved his hand once he'd set the tumbler down. "Forget it," The owner declared, "I'm not giving you even a chance at a shot at Bates if you're not going to commit. And I'm sure as fuck not going to let you anywhere near Flash just so you can settle some personal vendetta against a man you've never even been in the ring with." The tone of his voice brooked no argument, and from Seth's point of view, the conversation was done.
Lerch reached for the telephone to summon security, but stopped again when Jay spoke up. "I'll buy you a helicopter." Seth froze, and slowly turned his head toward Omega, meeting his eyes with obvious suspicion. "And not a shitty little remote controlled drone, or a helicopter tour, or some other disingenuous bullshit. A real helicopter, complete with a pilot, just as fancy as the beast that's sitting in the parking lot." The WCF owner stood from behind his desk, and crossed the expansive office to gaze out the window at the enormous luxury chopper. With a base price of sixteen million dollars, the fully configurable flying machine boasted enough room to comfortably seat sixteen people, and still have cargo space large enough to carry a full-size SUV. "I'll even have it personalized to your tastes. Knowing you, you'll want some sort of flying titty bar." Lerch was glad his back was to Jay, it meant the man couldn't see his widened eyes and grin of child-like glee. Seth hadn't even considered a flying titty bar. The WCF owner composed himself, his face becoming a blank mask as he turned back around. "Throw in a year's worth of fuel, too, and you've got yourself a deal." Omega grinned widely and extended his hand to seal the deal. "Done"~
~In the skies somewhere over Missouri, Jay Omega tossed the information package to the floor of the helicopter, and blew out an exaggerated sigh of boredom. Snuggled against him on the double bed - the largest size the helicopter would accommodate with the current configuration - the Lady Tasha pulled her attention away from the thrilling footage of her consort engaging in battle with a man called Kaz Mazy among the primitive wheeled conveyances called "cars", and looked at Omega with concern. "What troubles you, James?" She asked, her usage of his birth name a sign of deep affection. "It's this list, babe." Jay replied, waving in the direction of the scattered papers. "Forty names announced, and I've never even heard of more than half of them. And of the fifteen I do know, there's barely any reason for me to worry about most of them. Fucking Lilith? Ol' Zee Macklemorris? Adam Xor-damned Young? Fuck, the most significant thing Young has ever done is eliminate Corey Black from WAR - once - by pure fluke, and he's been riding that his entire career!" The Imperial princess stroked Omega's cheek softly, trying to soothe away his frustrations.
"Be tranquil, dear one; surely there are worthy challengers among those listed?" The Omega Man ducked his head in concession, and answered her question as honestly as he could. "Not really. I mean, some of these nobodies might surprise me - the Law of Averages says there's got to be at least one decent scrapper in the bunch - but the only three names here that can offer me anything other than pure disappointment are Jeff Purse, Gemini Battle, and Joey fucking Flash." Tasha raised an eyebrow at the animosity in Jay's voice, and looked at him more closely. "You truly dislike this man so much?" The princess asked. In response, Omega shook his head. "No, 'dislike' isn't a strong enough word." Jay's right hand curled into a fist so tight his knuckles cracked. "I hate that arrogant, spoiled, misogynistic, homophobic, narcissistic douche-canoe with the fiery passion of a million supernovas, and nothing would bring me more joy than causing him enough pain to make him beg me to reunite him with his son." Tasha wanted to know what exactly he meant by that, but at the same time, was almost afraid to ask. She had seen how fierce her lover could be in the heat of a pitched battle, but she had never seen him like this before; his anger would be almost frightening if she didn't find it so exhilarating.
Omega must have seen the question in her eye, for he offered an answer unbidden. "A year ago, Flash was involved in a feud with a beastly badass by the name of Dune, and that big bald motherfucker became my personal hero when he straight up murdered the infant Christian Malignaggi." Tasha recoiled in horror at the admission, to which Jay simply nodded. "Yeah, I know; it's a horrible thing to say. It really is. But trust me, being the spawn of Joseph and Alessandra Malignaggi is a fate worse than death; Dune did that child a favour. And if I had been in his position, I probably would have done the same thing." The alien princess slowly shook her head, then grimaced distastefully. "I... understand." She said, her voice hitching. "Though not as comfortable as you seemingly are with the practice, such cruelty can indeed be a kindness under the proper circumstances." Omega reached out to put his hand on the violet skin of Tasha's shoulder in a reassuring gesture. "It would have been far crueler to let that kid grow up with such terrible fuckwits for parents. That kid would have grown up broken, and done nothing but spread pain to everyone around him, just like the useless shitstain who sired him." Tasha nodded, but still looked away, trying to reconcile what she'd just heard with everything else she knew about her consort.
In the end, the princess determined that Jay wasn't a bad person simply because of his outlook on one specific scenario. Truly, it spoke well of the man, as it indicated that he would be able to make hard decisions when necessary; a very desirable trait in a potential head of state. "Let us speak of something else," Tasha said, just as much for herself as for Omega, prompting a nod from The Omega Man himself. "Yes, please. I could go on all day about what a manipulative fucking tool Flash is, but that probably wouldn't be good for my blood pressure." The princess draped herself over him as she reached for one of the discarded sheets of paper, for once taking no notice of what her soft flesh did to Jay. Tasha skimmed over the list, then let it flutter back to the floor due to her inability to read English. "Tell me of this Gemini Battle, then. To include the word 'battle' in his name, he must be either a fierce warrior, or an utter fool. Which is it?" Omega remained silent for a moment as he considered the question, then gave his answer with a smirk. "A little from Column A, a little from Column B." The princess' expression invited elaboration, and Jay was only to happy to oblige. "It's quite simple; yes, good ol' GemWire is a damned good scrapper. Maybe not quite as formidable as Joey Flash, but certainly a tougher cookie than the current World Champion."
Omega shook his head then, and his focus became distant as he continued. "But he's also a damned fool. Once upon a time, Grayson Pierce was very nearly a friend of mine, but he fell victim to the insidious influence of an extradimensional Hellbeast. From the look of things, Grayson has succumbed completely, leaving only Gemini Battle in his stead. Gemini's obsessed with me, and trying to find another member of his race that used to rent a room in the back of my head - that's another long story for another time - anyway, it's a stupid plan of his, because there's no way I'd let him turn the human race into an all-you-can-eat buffet." Jay stopped speaking as a chill of dread ran up his spine upon the realization that without him, this world had no defense against the Wicked. No, relief washed over him when he considered that Gemini - while a force to be reckoned with in his own right - wasn't nearly as cataclysmic a threat without the power of Wrath on his side. And now that the Maniac had taken Scathe's body, and been infused with the essence of the Dark Timekeeper... well, Omega was fairly certain that the twisted creature of purest evil that now called itself Timastenzi would have little to no interest in so small and petty a goal as the subjugation of a single world.
"Gemini proved his mettle last year, during this very competition, when he broke the long-standing record for number of eliminations; a distinction he shares with 'Los Tiburones' Jared Holmes." Jay's face twisted in sour expression, as if the very name tasted bitter on his lips. "Put it this way; Gemini Battle is dangerous enough a foe, that current World Champion Thomas Uriel Bates has had to take the easy route every time they faced, and pinned someone else. Not one of his victories over Gemini have even a shred of legitimacy as far as I'm concerned." Omega stood from the bed and grabbed his jeans from the floor, reaching into the pockets to retrieve a gold Zippo and his ever-present black cigarette case. No sooner had he pulled the objects out, though, than he put them right back with a frustrated sigh; smoking in a pressurized cabin wasn't the smartest decision he could make, no matter how much he craved a stick of home-rolled goodness. Flopping back onto the bed, Jay clapped both hands over his face, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes. A series of soft tickles across his chest, followed by the intoxicating scent of Tasha's Darrikaan cleansing gel, told him that the purple princess was leaning over him.
Upon opening his eyes, Omega was greeted with a touching sight; his alien lover looking down at him with an expression of commiseration. "You consider this Thomas Uriel Bates a pretender to the throne, yes?" Jay nodded emphatically, though her phrasing was putting it lightly. "Is that why you were so determined to take part in this event?" Omega waggled his hand in a so-so manner, then tucked his hands behind his head. "Something like that. Though there's also the matter of establishing my dominance, settling a vendetta, and cementing my name in Dubya See Eff legend as the first and only man to win WAR twice in a row." Tasha leaned back and looked down at him consideringly. "A fine boast, my Lord, but you do not seem so certain of your victory." Jay chuckled, and reached out to trace a finger along Tasha's side, trailing down until he placed a hand on her hip. "Yeah, well, that's because of the third name I'm somewhat worried about. Jeff Purse is not only the man who eliminated me from my first WAR event, he's also the first man to pin me in the Dubya See Eff; both of which should be considered fairly big accomplishments." The princess appeared both surprised and impressed by the statement.
"To defeat you in battle, he must be a great warrior indeed." Omega was unable to deny the statement; not only was Purse a former World Champion, a man who had won WAR himself, but he was also one of the best damned tag team partners Jay had ever had. "Oh, for sure. The spastic little fucker is weird as shit, but he's also one of the few people I'd implicitly trust to watch my back. Jeff's a very close friend of mine - practically a brother to me - so we know each other's fighting styles inside and out. Of all the people involved in this shindig, Purse is the one with the greatest chance of bumping me out of the running." His violet vixen looked down at him with some measure of confusion. "Running? Was this not meant to be a melee battle? Or is there also a footrace involved?" Jay laughed, and scooched himself up along the bed into a sitting position. "No, it's just a saying. It means he could eliminate me from the competition." Tasha nodded in understanding, then drew herself up regally. "You will take care to ensure that does not happen." It was less a question, and more a statement of fact, perhaps even a demand. With a randy grin, Omega gave a mock salute. "Yes ma'am," Jay replied, for what else could he say? "Your wish is my command, your Imperial Hotness."
"Is that so?" Tasha murmured, her plum coloured lips quirking into an impish grin. "Perhaps we should test the strength of your commitment, hmm? If I were to say that my wish is to have the city of your birth laid to waste?" Omega didn't hesitate before responding. "I'd destroy it myself, with nothing but my own two hands and a sledgehammer if that were your desire." Not exactly the answer Tasha had been expecting, but a pleasing one nonetheless. Finally noticing the condition her slim physique and saucy smile had left Jay in, the princess leaned forward to place her hands on The Omega Man's shoulders, and threw one leg over his abdomen. Omega reached for her hungrily, but Tasha pulled away before his lips could make contact with her stomach. The princess sat back on Jay's lap - eliciting a grunt from Omega - and pushed him back against the wall of the helicopter cabin. "And if I said it was my wish to have the head of your monarch?" Jay raised an eyebrow at the remark and tried wriggling his hips, but the warning sensation of Tasha's fingernails digging into the meat of his shoulder dissuaded him from trying to distract her. "Do not get ahead of yourself, my Lord. Answer the question."
"Hold up, this is a pretty weird line of questioning," Omega interjected, "I mean, I've already shown that in matters of war I'll follow your orders. Besides, Queen Elizabeth is more of a figurehead than anything else. Plus she's really old; her head's already half-decayed anyway." The princess' mouth twisted at the reply, and she moved to pull away even further, but Jay caught her by the waist and pulled her back toward him. "Hey now, I never said I wouldn't do it. I was just letting you know what you'd be getting. Are all your questions going to be about death and destruction?" Tasha grabbed at Jay's left wrist as his hand tried to drift below her waist, then snatched at his other hand as well, in order to pin him against the bed. "Very well, let us change topics." The princess purred at him, then leaned in to bite his ear. "Tell me then, what if I said it was my wish that you show me pleasures of the flesh beyond what we have already experienced?" Omega chuckled lewdly as he stretched his neck, straining for a kiss. "Oh, my dear princess Ymsyllynt, we've barely scratched the surface." Tasha leaned closer, her lips a hairsbreadth from Jay's, and her irises shone like burnished gold as she looked him in the eye. "Prove it."~[/font]
Inside a domed chamber within the bio-mechanical beast's crested head, a pair of beings - one human, one most certainly not - shared a seat designed for a body much larger than either of theirs. As there was plenty of seating available, such proximity wasn't a necessity, but a choice. The couple's limbs were entwined in a lover's knot, the violet flesh of the female's cheek lay nestled against the bronzed shoulder of her consort. Barely awake, she let out a small sound of contentment and brushed a stray strand of aquamarine hair from her face, then resumed her gentle grip on the bare chest of the mighty warrior she had taken for a mate; the inter-dimensional, space-faring, time-traveling adventurer-slash-pro wrestler known far and wide as "The Omega Man", Jay Omega. The hero of our tale - and many others - Omega remained fully alert, paying rapt attention to the starscape streaming along the viewscreens, his gaze full of wonder. The surreal beauty of traveling at translight speeds was surpassed only by the exotic beauty of the alien princess wrapped around him. For what seemed the millionth time, Jay marveled at his incredible luck; sure he was an immeasurably good looking man to begin with, possessed of numerous desirable qualities, which had made attracting female attention nearly effortless for him. But this?
What seemed like purest happenstance had led to (arguably) the greatest stable ever conceived - The Guardians - having a race to the moon in the personal vehicles constructed for each of them by the greatest engineer in the history of mankind, one Nikola Tesla. And it was solely by chance that Omega had noticed a metallic glint nearly buried on the far side of Earth's natural satellite. That glint had turned out to be the sentient starship in which Jay now rode; an enormous, peaceful space-faring creature which resembled a strange mix between an old naval warship, and what could only be described as a space dragon. This had seemingly been a catalyst, for shortly thereafter, first contact was made with an alien scout ship, just beyond the range of government surveillance equipment between the moon and Mars. The scout ship had turned out to be hostile, leading to a brief, but intense firefight among the stars. The Guardians had emerged victorious, and astronavigation charts salvaged from the wreckage of the alien ship had led the Guardians on an intergalactic voyage. The space between the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies was far too vast for a human mind to comprehend, yet with the help of their space dragon friend, the trip had taken only a matter of hours, less than a full day.
They had been woefully unprepared for the military might they faced upon arrival, with Omega himself being shot down almost immediately. The other Guardians had managed to escape the overwhelming battle and evade capture, though not without injuries. And that was when Jay's life changed forever. For after crashing down on the fifth planet from a blue star, Omega was captured by a ragtag force rebelling against their cruel and tyrannical Empress - a force which just so happened to be led by the Empress' twin sister. There had been immediate chemistry between The Omega Man and the Imperial Princess, though any canoodling they may have tried for was consistently interrupted by the need to blow shit up. Once the Guardians had successfully mounted a rescue operation, and subsequently saved the rebel forces from a rout, the companions had made their way back to Earth, thinking it unlikely they would ever return. Fate had different plans, though. Less than a month after the Guardians' return, the Imperial Princess Ymsyllynt'ash'Andwalu - known more informally as Lady Tasha - arrived on Earth searching for the man she (rightly) believed to be the planet's greatest hero, Jay Omega. Seeking the aid of the man who had been crowned Champion of the World on more than occasion, the Lady Tasha had spun a tragic tale of a steady increase in her sister's oppressive rule.
Being the man that he was, Jay hadn't hesitated for even a moment before offering his aid, and the pair had loaded up on weaponry before bidding the Guardians farewell, and heading for the stars. Two months had passed while Omega helped the alien warrior princess fight a losing war against a better armed enemy, though the rebels had claimed more than a few strategic victories. But now the war was all but lost; Imperial forces had hired a mercenary who had broken the back of the rebellion, and most recently the Empress Nyriymins'ash'Andwalu had begun developing a biological weapon of devastating proportion. What remained of the rebel intelligence network had passed word that the bio-weapon would be ready for testing within a fortnight, and at that point Jay had realized that things had spiraled far beyond his control. If there was to be any victory on Aja Darrik for the rebellion, they would need more help than Omega could provide alone. It was time to bring in the Guardians. And so, Lord Omega and Lady Tasha took the remainder of their forces and squirreled them away as best they could on one of Aja Darrik's twin moons, hoping they'd be safe while the power couple crossed the dead void of intergalactic space in order to enlist the aid of Jay's compatriots.
And somehow, despite all of these events - or perhaps because of them - Omega and Tasha had somehow found the time to not only flirt with wild abandon, but they had also found the time to... discover the compatibility and dissimilarities of their physiology. There had been a few missteps, and more than one surprise, but those had turned out to mostly be pleasant. Though they had evolved from vastly different species in completely different parts of the universe, enough of the mechanics remained similar enough to allow Jay and Tasha to eschew the Mile High Club, and enter the Orbital Bone Zone. And unlike other forms of space exploration, re-entry was not a concerning issue. The thought caused Omega's face to stretch into his trademark half-baked half-grin with a bit of a lascivious twist, and he glanced down at Tasha, wondering if perhaps they had enough time for another bit of "exploring" before they made Earthfall. The rapid deceleration of the living craft derailed that train of thought before it could leave the station, and The Omega Man gave a half-shrug at the lost opportunity; it wasn't like there'd never be another. As they drew closer to the familiar emerald and azure ball of rock he called home, though, Jay's Omega Sense began tingling; something wasn't quite right.
Or rather, something was a little too right. It was a minor sensation - so minute that most people would never have noticed - but when one had spent as much time tripping around the Metaverse as Omega had, even the slightest shift in atomic frequency could set one's nerves jangling. Jay wasn't sure of the specifics just yet, but he was willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that the energy pulse they'd flown through while traversing the wormhole had shunted them into an alternate reality. One he'd been to before, judging by the sensation of familiarity. Goosebumps rose up all along Omega's exposed flesh as realization sunk in; this wasn't an alternate reality, it was his original one. A wave of revulsion swept through Jay as he recalled the specifics of his last visit to this place; he had just been resurrected by a being who had introduced himself as The Director, given an all-too brief summary of events after his inauspicious title loss to Wade Moor and departure from the WCF and Earth, then dropped into into what would have been the strangest restaurant he'd ever seen, if he had never been to the timeline in which people were sentient cheeses, but that's a story for another time.
After being restored to the land of the living for the third(?) time, and making fast friends with fellow adventurers/pro wrestlers Bonnie Blue and the Polar Phantasm, the trio had correctly deduced they were no longer in their reality of origin, and attempted to return. Things did not go as planned, though, as a deviant creature had perverted the world they had once cherished. Hopeless and forlorn, the group had slunk back to the new world they had found themselves in, determined to uncover the mysteries entangled in that reality's very existence. Something had changed since then, though; Jay no longer sensed the phallic aura that had overshadowed the land. A relieving notion, to be sure, but by this point, Omega found himself too invested in safeguarding the new reality he had sworn to protect upon the formation of the Guardians. The city of Chicago alone had enough gangs and fight cartels vying for power to keep the Guardians occupied for a year, to say nothing of the rest of the planet, galaxy, or universe. With a heavy sigh, Jay prepared to abandon his point of origin once again, when Tasha awoke from her nap, and smiled at him sleepily. With a languid stretch, the princess ran her fingers lightly across Omega's chest, up the side of his neck, and pulled his head closer to hers for a passionate kiss.
"Have I told you how delightful an expression of affection that is?" Tasha murmured as she drew away, clearly relishing the taste of Jay on her lips. "Only about a dozen times since the first one." Omega replied, "And your technique is really improving." She smiled at the compliment, far more pleased with the praise than she let show. "Well, I have an excellent instructor." She said graciously, and nipped playfully at Jay's shoulder. "Though it does not surprise me to learn that Earth's finest gladiator is as skilled in the art of intimacy as he is in the theater of war; the two are closely linked in my culture as well." The princess' words sparked something in Omega's memory, and he sat up with an expression of confused concentration as he puzzled his way through the knot of half-formed thoughts bubbling in his subconscious. "Hold on, what day is it?" He asked himself softly. Jay gently extricated himself from Tasha's embrace and moved about the chamber the Guardians had dubbed the Bridge, collecting the discarded articles of his clothing that had been strewn about in a fit of passion. The clothing itself was of little concern - Tasha was quite appreciative of his physique, and Grimmauld the starship had only a passing interest in the mating habits of his passengers - but it was rather important that he find his W.E.I.R.D.
Developed by Nikola Tesla, the Wearable Espionage, Infiltration, and Reconnaissance Device resembled a curved, flexible smartphone worn on the forearm, the design itself a streamlined version of Polar Phantasm's functional replica Pip-Boy wrist computer, though infinitely more powerful. As if to illustrate that point, Omega booted up the device, and had it sync with the closest orbiting satellite. Decryption protocols written by the 23rd century virtual intelligence which lived in his power armour easily broke through the firewalls of the government spy probe, and granted Jay access to the global network within nanoseconds. The W.E.I.R.D. re-calibrated from Darrikaan time to Earth time, and Omega shook his head at the information. He'd been around the block enough times to know that coincidence was bullshit. To have arrived in this universe, at this time... It was more than mere happenstance. "I brought us here, didn't I, Grimmauld?" The ship's response was as much telepathic as it was auditory, though Jay didn't fully understand either one. The synthetic warbling reverberated inside Omega's skull, evoking emotions and vague images. Try as he might, Jay could still find no better way to describe the techno-organic creature's sounds than "cosmic whale song".
The bio-mechanical starship's message first gave a sense of confirmation, followed by a tumultuous clump of images that made Omega feel a great longing, then burgeoning excitement, a desire to impress, then all these sensations at once, with a few indescribable ones thrown in for good measure. Though unable to fully comprehend the ship's communications the way Bonnie could, Jay understood enough to catch the gist of Grimmauld's meaning; the ship had responded to his subconscious mental cues, using the Hartnell-Capaldi drive to slip through the Devachanic Realm, and cross the boundary between realities. "Your world is a majestic sight to behold," Tasha said as she slipped an arm around Jay's waist. Despite his above average reflexes and keen senses, Tasha had proven herself admirably stealthy; it wasn't easy to sneak up on someone who expected combat to break out at any moment. Jay ran an appreciative look over his lover's lithe nudity, his gaze lingering on the paler lavender patches of skin not often touched by Aja Darrik's sun, then brought his eyes back up to her face and just watched her as she took in the view of Earth. "I had little opportunity to truly absorb its beauty on my last visit; I was somewhat preoccupied with not becoming a colorful stain smeared across the planet's surface."
Omega gave Tasha a light swat on the bottom, then turned away from the viewscreen in order to continue collecting his clothing. "Well, I hope your heart's not set on doing any sightseeing," Jay said with a note of warning in his voice, "This ain't exactly the Earth you picked me up on, Sweet Cheeks." She turned to look at him then, a disparaging expression on her face showing her distaste for that particular pet name. The effect it had on Omega was not the one she expected, as he let out an amused guffaw. "Different species, different galaxy, same Xor-damned expressions. I swear there's a whole set of looks just hard-coded into female Dee En Ay." The comment caused Tasha to lift a bright blue eyebrow, her expression letting him know in no uncertain terms that he was treading dangerous ground. Of course, this was precisely the response a human woman would have had, which Jay took to be proof of his ridiculous assertion. He was wise enough not to give voice to that, though, and held up his hands in mock surrender. Tasha crossed her arms under her breasts, and gave him a long, level look. Her silence went on long enough that Omega began to feel as though he should say something, but the moment he opened his mouth, Tasha cut him off.
"I do not approve of you calling me 'Sweet Cheeks', my Lord Omega." Tasha declared, a touch of frost chilling her voice. "As my consort, I have allowed you several freedoms that would result in anyone else being executed. I understand that there are cultural differences between us, and some allowances must be made, but the other side of the coin is that a certain amount of decorum must be maintained." Jay tried to object again, but the purple princess was having none of it. A flush rising in her cheeks turned them a lovely shade of magenta as she ramped up for a full-on Imperial tirade. "Due to the nature of our relationship and my... feelings for you," Tasha's voice faltered momentarily, and the flush in her cheeks deepened slightly as she stumbled over the admission, but her voice strengthened with formality as her spine stiffened. "It is acceptable for you to use my singular name in private, but only in private. You would bring me great shame to call me such where others could hear." The irony of making a statement about shame while completely nude seemed lost on Tasha, though Jay supposed that also might be a cultural difference. Either way, he was impressed by the way she could seem so regal while standing in the buff.
"In formal situations, you really should use my full name, including my title," Tasha continued, the edge in her voice softening slightly, "It is not a form of address that I find appealing, but when dealing with matters of state, what one prefers often contradicts what is customary." Though a man with a rather laid-back attitude, Omega was understanding of her demands; nobility often stood more on pomp and ceremony than any measure of practicality. Part of why he disliked most people as affluent as he. "Okay, I got it; Sweet Cheeks is off the table," Jay conceded, "But if I can't call you Tasha in public, what am I supposed to call you?" The confusion expressed on the princess' face mirrored the sensation Omega was feeling. "If the social setting is informal, why would you not be able to use my familiar name?" She asked, confusing Jay further. "Because you just said I can only call you that in private." A dazzling smile spread across Tasha's face, and she let out a silvery laugh that tinkled like crystal chimes. "No, dear one, 'Tasha' is my familiar name." Seeing that the explanation didn't actually explain anything, Tasha elaborated on the naming conventions of the Darrikaan people.
"When born, a Darrikaan infant is given a formal name that consists of three parts," Tasha's tone took on a lecturing quality as she expounded on her culture, though her bearing remained just as dignified. "The first part is referred to as the singular name, and is only used among members of one's immediate family, and lovers." Another slight blush coloured the princess' cheeks once more. "The middle section of the formal name represents one's parentage by taking the first letters of the singular names of the father, mother, and doula. And finally, the last segment of the formal name indicates what House the child belongs to." Not generally one to be interested in academia, Omega nevertheless found himself enthralled by the explanation. Though, again, the nudity may have had something to do with it. "With the singular name reserved for those with a close connection, and the formal name being too, well, formal, Darrikaans use the familiar name for casual conversation among peers. The familiar name is found by taking the last letter of the singular name, and the first letter of your house's name, and placing them on either side of your parental bridge. To give an example; if I were to formally introduce myself, I would declare that I am Her Imperial Highness Ymsyllynt'ash'Andwalu. When in private, such as here in your cosmic craft, you may call me Ymsyllynt, but it is unacceptable in any other situation. Do you understand?"
Surprisingly, Jay understood completely. He stepped forward to take his extraterrestrial lover into his arms, and gently stroked her aquamarine hair. "Absolutely, Ymsyllynt," He said softly into her ear, "I would never intentionally do anything to shame you, babe." It took a moment, but Tasha's posture loosened, and she returned Omega's embrace. Just when it began to seem as though they would stand like that until they turned to stone, the princess pulled herself back slightly, and met Jay's gaze. "I understand you must be eager to reunite with your comrades-in-arms, and the sooner we return to Aja Darrik the better," Tasha began, then bit her bottom lip in an adorable expression of uncertainty, "But do you suppose that before we make landfall, we might find time to--" Tasha cut off with a surprised squeal of delight as Jay literally swept her off her feet, scooped her into his arms, and began to head toward his quarters. "For you, Ymsyllynt, I will make time." He said with a lascivious chuckle. Tasha giggled in kind, and slung an arm around The Omega Man's neck as he carried her off.~
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~An unspecified amount of time later, Jay and Tasha stood on the Bridge once more, though this time they were both fully clothed. There was no need for Omega to have any direct control over the re-entry and landing procedures; Grimmauld was already familiar with Earth's atmosphere, and the Cryogenix compound hidden in the Colorado Rockies would be abandoned in this reality. That thought sparked a metaphorical light bulb over Jay's head, and he turned to Tasha to explain what he had realized earlier. "Oh yeah, I kind of mentioned this earlier, but, uh, this isn't the planet you picked me up on." The princess looked at him with several questions in her eyes, but Omega held up a hand to forestall her. "It is Earth, and technically, this is exactly where I came from, but..." Jay drew a deep breath as he sought an understandable explanation for multiverse theory. "Basically, the whole universe - in fact, all of what we'd call 'reality' - is just one of an infinite number." Omega paused as he tried to gather his thoughts, when Tasha interrupted with an explanation of her own. "You speak of the infinite realms of the Metaverse, do you not?" Flabbergasted, Jay could do nothing but stare at her in slack-jawed amazement.
The princess smiled up at him, and pushed his jaw closed with her fingertips. "Does my knowledge surprise you?" She asked, with some measure of amusement. "Uh, yeah, a little." Omega replied honestly. It had been his experience that most people dismissed him as a raving madman when he began to speak of alternate realities, and higher planes of existence. People had told him half his life experiences were a matter of fiction and self-delusion because they couldn't possibly be real, and that was back when he only had access to time travel. Very few people on Earth would even be able to comprehend Tasha's existence, let alone Grimmauld's. "Really, dear one," Tasha said with mock disappointment as she shook her head at him, and lightly patted his cheek. "The Darrikaan Stellar Empire spans countless worlds across dozens of star systems; from what you have told me of your people, humans would be considered primitive by our standards. Why, you haven't even colonized your own moon. let alone mastered the subtleties of manipulating energy at the quantum scale." Jay felt rather foolish; Darrikaan technology was far more advanced than human - they could create stable wormholes after all - so it was perfectly reasonable that their scientific community had already cracked secrets of the Metaverse that humanity didn't even believe in yet.
"Fair enough," Omega said with a nod, "Well anyways, myself - and the rest of the Guardians, actually - all come from this reality. I'm not sure of the specifics because I was dead at the time - long story, I'll tell ya later - but there was some sort of incident in a region called Mexico. Next thing I know, I'm sitting in a crazy restaurant with a spectacular view, and swearing an oath to safeguard your universe. You pretty much know the rest of that story, babe, so I'll skip the details, and jump straight to why we're here, at this particular point in time." A dangerous light entered Jay's eye, and his face broke into a feral grin. "It's time to wage war." Omega declared with more than a hint of eager anticipation in his voice. At the thought of seeing her consort in battle again, Tasha also perked up, though her spirits were slightly deflated when Jay explained what he meant. There was to be no glory found in the slaying of enemies, much to Tasha's disappointment, as the event was strictly non-lethal, but her interest was piqued again as Omega went on. "Now, it may not be deadly, but it sure as Hell will be violent. It's a grand melee to determine who's worthy of facing the World Champion at the year's end, though sometimes circumstances are such that the winner of the event is simply crowned World Champion. That's what happened when I won last year, anyway."
The casual admission slightly impressed the princess; she had known her lover was a formidable force on the battlefield - she had seen his prowess firsthand - but to have overcome more than forty opponents in the span of three hours, using nothing but his fists and feet, and being careful to not take anyone's life? Even the most strictly disciplined battlemaster of her world would have difficulty remaining entirely non-lethal under those circumstances. "This will be the fifteenth event by this name, and to my knowledge, nobody has ever won two years in a row. At least, not until now. I can't say for sure what's happened here since my departure almost a year ago, but I do know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there's not a man alive in this reality who can hold a candle to me in that ring." Tasha didn't doubt Jay's statement in the slightest, though she was eager to see him put it to the test. She said as much, with a slight huskiness to her voice, and the nature of Omega's grin changed. "Krishna, you are insatiable aren't you?" Tasha blushed again, her modesty at odds with how forward she could be at times. "Everything I was taught on the matter dealt with Darrikaan physiology," The princess tried to explain, "That fact that your, ahem, lover's staff engorges itself is incredible enough, but the size of it compared to a Darrikaan's is..."
Tasha's eyes widened almost imperceptibly as she trailed off, remembering the first time she had seen what Jay was packing. Not that it was overly large by human standards - a little more generous than average - but Darrikaan wedding tackle was significantly smaller. The princess shook herself out of that memory before she got lost in the wondrous sensations that had followed, and found a proud smile on Omega's face. What man doesn't enjoy being told how "big" he is? "Yeah, well, there are a few differences between your lady bits and a human's as well, darlin'." Jay responded, "You've got way more control over those muscles than any woman on Earth, that's for damn sure. But if we keep talking about sex, we're just gonna end up back in bed. And while I certainly have no complaints about that, I'm gonna need to straighten out a few details on Earth real quick if I plan on kicking a bunch of ass here before we go grab the Guardians." Tasha pouted at him, which nearly caused Omega to change his mind on the spot. He held fast though, and turned his attention toward his homeworld. "All right, Grimmauld, take us in. Pretty sure there's not gonna be anybody at Aitch Cue, but let's try for stealth anyway, yeah?" A slight shift in the colour of the internal lighting was the only indication that the sentient starship had engaged the retroreflective panels along his hull, rendering him invisible to most means of visual perception.
In only a matter of moments, they had breached Earth's atmosphere, and were on course for an abandoned military complex in the mountains of Colorado. When they drew nearer, Jay used his W.E.I.R.D. to tap into the control systems of the compound and opened the missile silo, giving Grimmauld a place to safely land. Only a few moments more, and The Omega Man was helping Her Imperial Highness disembark the bio-mechanical space dragon. Omega made a sweeping gesture with one arm, taking in the dark, dusty interior of the subterranean compound. "Allow me to formally welcome you to the planet Earth, my lady." Jay said, his voice slipping into an exaggerated imitation of Patrick Stewart. The words were hardly out of his mouth when an alarm klaxon began to blare, and red lights began flashing all about them. "Security alert; perimeter breach. Intruders in missile bay, sub-level four." The electronic voice that crackled over the public address system was immediately familiar to Omega, though he doubted that this version of the self-aware supercomputer named Iceberg-7 would recognize his. Jay could have taken the time to convince I-7 of his benign intentions, but he opted to take the more expedient route, and turned to his W.E.I.R.D. once more. Tapping a few keys in rapid succession, Omega transmitted an authentication code given to him by Polar, one of I-7's "parents".
"Authorization confirmed. Welcome, user Jay Omega." I-7 said as he cancelled the security protocols, "How may this unit be of service today?" Jay tapped a few more keys before he responded. "I'm sending you an information package, buddy; gonna need you to make some calls for me and sort out some details." The supercomputer let out an electronic tone of confirmation as it received the file, then made a sound that was the computer equivalent of a pleasurable sigh. "This unit is pleased to serve. This unit has not been activated for several months. This unit is concerned for the well-being of user Polar Phantasm." Omega nodded sadly, struck with the sudden realization that the sentient machine was capable of feeling lonely, which made him wonder how Erin was doing without him. At the very least, Jay could soothe I-7's fears. "Don't stress your circuits, Eye-Seven," Omega told the computer in a gentle voice, "The whole Bankston family is alive and well, they've just been, uh, transplanted. To another reality. It's kind of difficult to explain, because I ain't exactly an expert on the subject, despite being the closest thing to an expert there is on this kind of thing." Jay shrugged offhandedly, and waved a dismissive hand. "Whatever, do a quick search on quantum mechanics and multiverse theory, and you'll understand better than I can explain."
I-7 beeped in confirmation again, and went about following orders. Meanwhile, Omega took Tasha by the hand and led her deeper into the complex. Even if Iceberg-7 completed the tasks he'd been given in the next five seconds, it would still be several hours before Jay could take the next step in the process of joining the lineup for WAR. And he had a few ideas on how to spend those hours that he believed the alien princess might approve of.~
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~No sooner had the wheels of the AgustaWestland AW101 VVIP luxury helicopter touched down, than Jay Omega drew back the hatch, and hopped down onto the asphalt of the parking lot of WCF World Headquarters in Reading, Pennsylvania. A quick glance around showed a distinct lack of disturbing imagery, which was another huge relief, but something inside him still urged caution. As Tasha approached the door and made ready to exit the chopper, Jay held up his hand, and took a more intent look around. He still didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but he hadn't made it this far in life by ignoring his instincts. "Hold on. my Lady," Omega said, turning to face her with a cautious expression, "Stay here with the helicopter; I'd rather you not have to deal with what I'm about to walk into. Not that I don't think you could," Jay added hurriedly, noting the quirked eyebrow at the implication, "But someone of your status shouldn't have to, know what I mean? Nothing but minor contract negotiations; boring stuff. Quick though. I shouldn't take too long at all." Tasha pouted prettily, but nodded her consent. "Do be swift, my Lord Omega. Perhaps I will educate myself further about this 'wrestling' while you make your negotiations."
"Eh, no worries, Tasha; I'll be swifter than Taylor." The blank look of incomprehension Tasha gave him caused the smile to slide off his face. "That's... that's an Earth pop culture reference. Shit, I just realized how much I have to show you. Trust me, that was worth at least a chuckle, Even Corey Black's legendary stony scowl would've cracked for that. Right, you don't know who he is, either." Omega rubbed at the back of his neck with a sheepish smile, and shrugged at Tasha. "Yeah, maybe look into wrestling while I'm gone, and a few other things, too." Before she could object to the action, Jay leaned in and stole a brief kiss, then skipped back out of range of any retaliation with a mischievous grin. "That's a good luck custom here on Earth, but if it offends your royal sensibilities, you can get me back for it later." The princess tried to fix him with a stern look, but her expression quickly melted into one that matched his own. "I shall forgive your insolence this time, knave, but next time I will have your head on a pike." The playful tone of her voice belied the severity of Tasha's words, and Omega shot her a wink before he turned to stroll toward his former place of employ.
It had been quite some time since he had tread this ground, but Jay Omega was a household name, and he received instant - if surprised - recognition upon his entry to the building. Jay gave casual waves to the stunned suits as he passed them by, and sauntered up to the reception desk where he leaned casually against the polished mahogany. "Hey there, Shannan, long time no see. Good to see you finally got a job that doesn't involve sucking Jayson Price's dick." The young woman on the other side of the desk looked up at him with a scowl. "Ugh, you. What are you even doing here?" Asked the somewhat attractive Shannan Lerch, sister of WCF owner Seth. Jay pulled back from the reception desk, and raised his hands defensively. "Whoa, hey, what's with the hostility? Do you just hate anyone with the name Jay by association?" In response, Shannan flipped him off with a well-manicured finger. "Yeah, that must be it." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at him. "Seriously though, what the Hell are you doing here?" With an easy smile, Omega spread his arms wide, and inhaled deeply through his nose. "I've come to do what I do best; kick ass and take names. But to do that, I need to have a few words with your brother; is the metaphorically big man in today?"
Shannan's face was a perfect picture of sympathy and her voice practically dripped with regret, which was all Jay needed to know that she was full of shit when she replied. "Nooo, sorry. He's in New York, finalizing details with the venue." Omega gave a mocking smile at her simpering tone, and turned deeper into the building, heading for the boss' office. "Don't bother calling security, Shannan; they know better than to fuck with me." Jay pushed through a set of double doors marked "Employees Only", and quickly made his way to the office of Seth Lerch. Omega's cursory rap on the door as he pushed it open was a mere formality, and Seth himself looked up at Jay, holding a telephone receiver in his hand. "Yeah, he just walked in. Thanks anyway, Shannan." Lerch hung up the phone, and warily eyed Omega as the man made himself comfortable in the plush leather seat opposite Seth's desk. "I have to admit, I'm a little surprised to see you." Seth said as Jay made himself comfortable. Lerch pulled open the top drawer of his desk and retrieved a 40 ounce bottle of Bacardi 151 rum, then pulled an empty tumbler closer to himself. "First you tuck tail and disappear after losing the World Championship to Wade Moor - the man who should have rightfully won it in the first place - then you show up out of the blue for Trios, make commitments for Thirteen, and then just fuck off with half my roster."
Seth shook his head slowly, marveling at the audacity of the man before him. "After the Incident in Mexico, I didn't think I'd ever see your face again." Lerch carefully measured two fingers worth of liquor into the well-cut crystal, glanced up at Omega, sighed, then filled the tumbler to three quarters. "And now you just stroll in here like nothing happened expecting... what? To just pick back up where you left off? To be in WAR?" Seth shook his head again, and drained the glass in a single, long swallow. Lerch refilled the tumbler to halfway before he continued, and met Jay's eyes over the half-raised glass. "You think I'm going to let you anywhere near the World Championship? You'll be lucky if you get close enough to take a sniff of Bates' hickory cologne." With no response immediately forthcoming, Seth shrugged and downed the second drink. The second since Omega had arrived, anyway. As he set the glass down, the WCF owner belched softly, and exhaled the noxious fumes in Jay's direction. Omega wafted the stench away with a grimace, but remained silent. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't have security throw you out on your ass." Jay cracked a smile at the request, and finally deigned to speak. "I'll give you two, Seth. Number one; there ain't enough security guards in the building to get me out of this room, let alone out of the building, and you damn well know it." Lerch gave him a sour look, and almost reached for the telephone.
"And number two; because you're a businessman." Seth's hand changed direction, grabbing instead for his rum. "The name Jay Omega is a huge draw, and you damn well know that, too." The Omega Man spread his hands in a manner that begged Lerch to disprove the statement. When Seth poured another drink and passed it across the desk, Jay's face slipped into his trademark half-baked half-grin. Omega raised the glass with a slight incline of his head, and drained the alcohol. "Now, I don't know what you're talking about when you bring up Trios and Thirteen, and I have yet to get a full explanation of what exactly this 'Incident' everyone talks about was, considering I don't even remember the last time I was in Mexico." Jay slid the glass back across the desk, leaned back in the chair, and kicked his feet up onto Seth's desk. Lerch scowled at the action, but it did nothing to remove the custom fit leather footwear from his desk, so he elected to ignore them. "Having me in WAR is a great way to bump buyrates. I get that it wouldn't be a huge increase in sales, considering how big an event it is in the first place, but it's not like you're gonna turn down more money, right?" Jay raised an eyebrow in question, but didn't give Seth a chance to respond. The response was a foregone conclusion, anyway.
"But if and when I win WAR... well, not only is that another feather in my cap, but think of what that would do for One's buyrates. Just think of that for a moment." Jay fell silent then, allowing Lerch's greedy little mind to consider the possibilities. WCF was a juggernaut in the worlds of both sports and entertainment, so there was no doubt that Seth had been able to rebuild his roster and carry on with barely a hitch. But there was also no doubt that there wasn't anyone on the roster capable of drawing a crowd like Jay Omega could. The Omega Man watched Lerch's eyes glaze over, and the tip of his tongue poke between his lips. "Look, I ain't gonna pretend to know anything about half the guys on the roster - not yet, anyway - but if you're seriously telling me that the man on top of the mountain is Tommy Bates, well that tells me all I need to know right there. You put my name on the marquee for One, and sales are gonna go through the roof for every show between now and then." Seth refocused his eyes and poured himself another drink. Lerch swirled the rum in his tumbler, but didn't drink it just yet. "That's a pretty big assumption you're making, Omega. Just because you won WAR last year doesn't mean you'll win again this year. I'd say that Joey Flash has a pretty good chance of it."
Jay's feet hit the floor with a thump, and all traces of nonchalance evaporated from his face like mist in the morning light as he sat forward. The intensity in his gaze actually drove Seth back in his seat, and the edge in his voice was like a blade being drawn from its sheathe. "Flash is gonna be there?" Lerch nodded mutely, the drink in his hand forgotten. "Put me in the lineup, Seth. You can't protect Flash forever. Better that I get my hands on him in the ring, or would you prefer I catch up to him in the parking lot, where there aren't any cameras?" Lerch's eyes flickered to the drink in his hand, and his tongue darted across his lips again. "So you'll be returning full-time, then?" Seth asked, his tone unsure. Omega's face displayed a torn expression, and he sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Oooh, about that..." Lerch shook his head, drained his glass, and waved his hand once he'd set the tumbler down. "Forget it," The owner declared, "I'm not giving you even a chance at a shot at Bates if you're not going to commit. And I'm sure as fuck not going to let you anywhere near Flash just so you can settle some personal vendetta against a man you've never even been in the ring with." The tone of his voice brooked no argument, and from Seth's point of view, the conversation was done.
Lerch reached for the telephone to summon security, but stopped again when Jay spoke up. "I'll buy you a helicopter." Seth froze, and slowly turned his head toward Omega, meeting his eyes with obvious suspicion. "And not a shitty little remote controlled drone, or a helicopter tour, or some other disingenuous bullshit. A real helicopter, complete with a pilot, just as fancy as the beast that's sitting in the parking lot." The WCF owner stood from behind his desk, and crossed the expansive office to gaze out the window at the enormous luxury chopper. With a base price of sixteen million dollars, the fully configurable flying machine boasted enough room to comfortably seat sixteen people, and still have cargo space large enough to carry a full-size SUV. "I'll even have it personalized to your tastes. Knowing you, you'll want some sort of flying titty bar." Lerch was glad his back was to Jay, it meant the man couldn't see his widened eyes and grin of child-like glee. Seth hadn't even considered a flying titty bar. The WCF owner composed himself, his face becoming a blank mask as he turned back around. "Throw in a year's worth of fuel, too, and you've got yourself a deal." Omega grinned widely and extended his hand to seal the deal. "Done"~
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~In the skies somewhere over Missouri, Jay Omega tossed the information package to the floor of the helicopter, and blew out an exaggerated sigh of boredom. Snuggled against him on the double bed - the largest size the helicopter would accommodate with the current configuration - the Lady Tasha pulled her attention away from the thrilling footage of her consort engaging in battle with a man called Kaz Mazy among the primitive wheeled conveyances called "cars", and looked at Omega with concern. "What troubles you, James?" She asked, her usage of his birth name a sign of deep affection. "It's this list, babe." Jay replied, waving in the direction of the scattered papers. "Forty names announced, and I've never even heard of more than half of them. And of the fifteen I do know, there's barely any reason for me to worry about most of them. Fucking Lilith? Ol' Zee Macklemorris? Adam Xor-damned Young? Fuck, the most significant thing Young has ever done is eliminate Corey Black from WAR - once - by pure fluke, and he's been riding that his entire career!" The Imperial princess stroked Omega's cheek softly, trying to soothe away his frustrations.
"Be tranquil, dear one; surely there are worthy challengers among those listed?" The Omega Man ducked his head in concession, and answered her question as honestly as he could. "Not really. I mean, some of these nobodies might surprise me - the Law of Averages says there's got to be at least one decent scrapper in the bunch - but the only three names here that can offer me anything other than pure disappointment are Jeff Purse, Gemini Battle, and Joey fucking Flash." Tasha raised an eyebrow at the animosity in Jay's voice, and looked at him more closely. "You truly dislike this man so much?" The princess asked. In response, Omega shook his head. "No, 'dislike' isn't a strong enough word." Jay's right hand curled into a fist so tight his knuckles cracked. "I hate that arrogant, spoiled, misogynistic, homophobic, narcissistic douche-canoe with the fiery passion of a million supernovas, and nothing would bring me more joy than causing him enough pain to make him beg me to reunite him with his son." Tasha wanted to know what exactly he meant by that, but at the same time, was almost afraid to ask. She had seen how fierce her lover could be in the heat of a pitched battle, but she had never seen him like this before; his anger would be almost frightening if she didn't find it so exhilarating.
Omega must have seen the question in her eye, for he offered an answer unbidden. "A year ago, Flash was involved in a feud with a beastly badass by the name of Dune, and that big bald motherfucker became my personal hero when he straight up murdered the infant Christian Malignaggi." Tasha recoiled in horror at the admission, to which Jay simply nodded. "Yeah, I know; it's a horrible thing to say. It really is. But trust me, being the spawn of Joseph and Alessandra Malignaggi is a fate worse than death; Dune did that child a favour. And if I had been in his position, I probably would have done the same thing." The alien princess slowly shook her head, then grimaced distastefully. "I... understand." She said, her voice hitching. "Though not as comfortable as you seemingly are with the practice, such cruelty can indeed be a kindness under the proper circumstances." Omega reached out to put his hand on the violet skin of Tasha's shoulder in a reassuring gesture. "It would have been far crueler to let that kid grow up with such terrible fuckwits for parents. That kid would have grown up broken, and done nothing but spread pain to everyone around him, just like the useless shitstain who sired him." Tasha nodded, but still looked away, trying to reconcile what she'd just heard with everything else she knew about her consort.
In the end, the princess determined that Jay wasn't a bad person simply because of his outlook on one specific scenario. Truly, it spoke well of the man, as it indicated that he would be able to make hard decisions when necessary; a very desirable trait in a potential head of state. "Let us speak of something else," Tasha said, just as much for herself as for Omega, prompting a nod from The Omega Man himself. "Yes, please. I could go on all day about what a manipulative fucking tool Flash is, but that probably wouldn't be good for my blood pressure." The princess draped herself over him as she reached for one of the discarded sheets of paper, for once taking no notice of what her soft flesh did to Jay. Tasha skimmed over the list, then let it flutter back to the floor due to her inability to read English. "Tell me of this Gemini Battle, then. To include the word 'battle' in his name, he must be either a fierce warrior, or an utter fool. Which is it?" Omega remained silent for a moment as he considered the question, then gave his answer with a smirk. "A little from Column A, a little from Column B." The princess' expression invited elaboration, and Jay was only to happy to oblige. "It's quite simple; yes, good ol' GemWire is a damned good scrapper. Maybe not quite as formidable as Joey Flash, but certainly a tougher cookie than the current World Champion."
Omega shook his head then, and his focus became distant as he continued. "But he's also a damned fool. Once upon a time, Grayson Pierce was very nearly a friend of mine, but he fell victim to the insidious influence of an extradimensional Hellbeast. From the look of things, Grayson has succumbed completely, leaving only Gemini Battle in his stead. Gemini's obsessed with me, and trying to find another member of his race that used to rent a room in the back of my head - that's another long story for another time - anyway, it's a stupid plan of his, because there's no way I'd let him turn the human race into an all-you-can-eat buffet." Jay stopped speaking as a chill of dread ran up his spine upon the realization that without him, this world had no defense against the Wicked. No, relief washed over him when he considered that Gemini - while a force to be reckoned with in his own right - wasn't nearly as cataclysmic a threat without the power of Wrath on his side. And now that the Maniac had taken Scathe's body, and been infused with the essence of the Dark Timekeeper... well, Omega was fairly certain that the twisted creature of purest evil that now called itself Timastenzi would have little to no interest in so small and petty a goal as the subjugation of a single world.
"Gemini proved his mettle last year, during this very competition, when he broke the long-standing record for number of eliminations; a distinction he shares with 'Los Tiburones' Jared Holmes." Jay's face twisted in sour expression, as if the very name tasted bitter on his lips. "Put it this way; Gemini Battle is dangerous enough a foe, that current World Champion Thomas Uriel Bates has had to take the easy route every time they faced, and pinned someone else. Not one of his victories over Gemini have even a shred of legitimacy as far as I'm concerned." Omega stood from the bed and grabbed his jeans from the floor, reaching into the pockets to retrieve a gold Zippo and his ever-present black cigarette case. No sooner had he pulled the objects out, though, than he put them right back with a frustrated sigh; smoking in a pressurized cabin wasn't the smartest decision he could make, no matter how much he craved a stick of home-rolled goodness. Flopping back onto the bed, Jay clapped both hands over his face, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes. A series of soft tickles across his chest, followed by the intoxicating scent of Tasha's Darrikaan cleansing gel, told him that the purple princess was leaning over him.
Upon opening his eyes, Omega was greeted with a touching sight; his alien lover looking down at him with an expression of commiseration. "You consider this Thomas Uriel Bates a pretender to the throne, yes?" Jay nodded emphatically, though her phrasing was putting it lightly. "Is that why you were so determined to take part in this event?" Omega waggled his hand in a so-so manner, then tucked his hands behind his head. "Something like that. Though there's also the matter of establishing my dominance, settling a vendetta, and cementing my name in Dubya See Eff legend as the first and only man to win WAR twice in a row." Tasha leaned back and looked down at him consideringly. "A fine boast, my Lord, but you do not seem so certain of your victory." Jay chuckled, and reached out to trace a finger along Tasha's side, trailing down until he placed a hand on her hip. "Yeah, well, that's because of the third name I'm somewhat worried about. Jeff Purse is not only the man who eliminated me from my first WAR event, he's also the first man to pin me in the Dubya See Eff; both of which should be considered fairly big accomplishments." The princess appeared both surprised and impressed by the statement.
"To defeat you in battle, he must be a great warrior indeed." Omega was unable to deny the statement; not only was Purse a former World Champion, a man who had won WAR himself, but he was also one of the best damned tag team partners Jay had ever had. "Oh, for sure. The spastic little fucker is weird as shit, but he's also one of the few people I'd implicitly trust to watch my back. Jeff's a very close friend of mine - practically a brother to me - so we know each other's fighting styles inside and out. Of all the people involved in this shindig, Purse is the one with the greatest chance of bumping me out of the running." His violet vixen looked down at him with some measure of confusion. "Running? Was this not meant to be a melee battle? Or is there also a footrace involved?" Jay laughed, and scooched himself up along the bed into a sitting position. "No, it's just a saying. It means he could eliminate me from the competition." Tasha nodded in understanding, then drew herself up regally. "You will take care to ensure that does not happen." It was less a question, and more a statement of fact, perhaps even a demand. With a randy grin, Omega gave a mock salute. "Yes ma'am," Jay replied, for what else could he say? "Your wish is my command, your Imperial Hotness."
"Is that so?" Tasha murmured, her plum coloured lips quirking into an impish grin. "Perhaps we should test the strength of your commitment, hmm? If I were to say that my wish is to have the city of your birth laid to waste?" Omega didn't hesitate before responding. "I'd destroy it myself, with nothing but my own two hands and a sledgehammer if that were your desire." Not exactly the answer Tasha had been expecting, but a pleasing one nonetheless. Finally noticing the condition her slim physique and saucy smile had left Jay in, the princess leaned forward to place her hands on The Omega Man's shoulders, and threw one leg over his abdomen. Omega reached for her hungrily, but Tasha pulled away before his lips could make contact with her stomach. The princess sat back on Jay's lap - eliciting a grunt from Omega - and pushed him back against the wall of the helicopter cabin. "And if I said it was my wish to have the head of your monarch?" Jay raised an eyebrow at the remark and tried wriggling his hips, but the warning sensation of Tasha's fingernails digging into the meat of his shoulder dissuaded him from trying to distract her. "Do not get ahead of yourself, my Lord. Answer the question."
"Hold up, this is a pretty weird line of questioning," Omega interjected, "I mean, I've already shown that in matters of war I'll follow your orders. Besides, Queen Elizabeth is more of a figurehead than anything else. Plus she's really old; her head's already half-decayed anyway." The princess' mouth twisted at the reply, and she moved to pull away even further, but Jay caught her by the waist and pulled her back toward him. "Hey now, I never said I wouldn't do it. I was just letting you know what you'd be getting. Are all your questions going to be about death and destruction?" Tasha grabbed at Jay's left wrist as his hand tried to drift below her waist, then snatched at his other hand as well, in order to pin him against the bed. "Very well, let us change topics." The princess purred at him, then leaned in to bite his ear. "Tell me then, what if I said it was my wish that you show me pleasures of the flesh beyond what we have already experienced?" Omega chuckled lewdly as he stretched his neck, straining for a kiss. "Oh, my dear princess Ymsyllynt, we've barely scratched the surface." Tasha leaned closer, her lips a hairsbreadth from Jay's, and her irises shone like burnished gold as she looked him in the eye. "Prove it."~[/font]
