Post by Joe Smarts on Sept 23, 2016 16:37:19 GMT -5
Joe Smarts’ First Gym Session
Chapter 1 (That’s right, there’s flippin’ chapters)
Bad Day in the Battlefield
Here we find Joe Smarts once again camping in his living room playing online Battlefield with Geoffrey Smith. They are communicating through headsets with microphones on them.
Geoffrey Smith: I just killed you again!
Joe Smarts: I will get you next time.
Smarts respawns in a completely safe area.
Smarts: And I was just sniped.
Suddenly the words ‘YOU LOST’ appear on the screen.
Jeff: Are you feeling well?
Smarts: Yeah... Why?
Jeff: Well, you’ve died 36 times in one game and only 7 kills over three games. Not to mention that you haven’t even killed me today.
Smarts: I’ve had a bad day today. A bad day in the battlefield.
Jeff: Why you always lying?
Smarts: Fine then! I’m nervous.
Jeff: For what?
Smarts: For War. So much is on the line. A guaranteed spot in the Main Event of One, and the fact there is bragging rights everywhere.
Jeff: I know just what you need. Meet me at 69 Uranus Street.
Smarts: That sounds like a weird place.
Jeff: That was a joke. Actually meet me at 153 Shell Street.
Chapter 2
Should’ve bought my workout gear
Joe Smarts took a brisk 500m walk to 153 Shell Street and stood in front of an epic building. It had white walls and a thick light green roof. It was surrounded by spotlights and a statue of a man on a treadmill. On the building it had clear words on the roof- Jim’s Gym.
Smarts: Out of all the gyms in the world, you chose a local gym which probably crappy equipment.
Jeff: It’s cheap, and look at the presentation of this building!
Smarts: Overdone.
Jeff and Joe walk into Jim’s Gym, one expecting a cheap gym and the other knowing how surprised the one expecting a cheap gym will be. They walk in, to find 6 models of the newest treadmills lined neatly next to each other, numerous bars at different heights for chin-ups, squat stations, barbells, bench presses, dumbbells, kettle bells you name it, they’ve got it, including free Wi-Fi and TVs airing ‘Game of Thrones’. They’ve even got frickin’ sports stars training in here.
Jeff: Hey, here comes Jimmy, he’s the owner of this gym.
Jimmy: Hello there, I believe you are Joe Smarts?
Smarts: Yep.
Jimmy: Ah! You can be in our sports stars list!
Smarts: It would be an honour.
Jimmy heads over to a list of sports star names including great names from athletes to volleyball players. As Jimmy starts printing Joe’s name on the list, he can’t help but notice a familiar name on the list. In big, black, bold letters, is the name Corey Black*.
Smarts: Holy schnitzel! Corey Black used to train here?
Jimmy: Yep. I still remember the days when Corey Black was just an average 17-year-old. Anyways, what you here for?
Smarts: Well, I’m here to work on my skills and be confident. Especially now War is coming up.
Jimmy: Oh Joe. I’m gonna make you wish you went somewhere else.
Smarts (to himself): I should’ve brought my workout gear...
*I kind of used Corey Black without his permission. Please don’t hurt me.
Chapter 3
Train. Train Harder. Train Hardest.
Jimmy: Where do you wanna start?
Smarts looks at all the equipment in Jim’s Gym and simply couldn’t resist the...
Smarts: Treadmills.
After a couple of steps, Smarts and Jimmy arrive at the treadmills
Jimmy: Hop on the treadmill and enjoy.
Smarts walks on the treadmill.
Smarts: Whoa. It just started by itself.
Jimmy: Weight Detection. It’s so you don’t have to press all the buttons to start it.
Smarts: Smart.
Joe Smarts is running on the treadmill at 20 km/h (12.43 mph) when Jeff comes along and turns the speed up.
Smarts: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR??
Jeff: Train.
Smarts: I AM TRAINING!
Jeff: Train Harder.
Smarts: Okay! Okay! I’ll turn the speed up.
Smarts is now travelling at 30 km/h (18.64 mph). However, Jeff turns the speed up more
Jeff: TRAIN HARDEST.
Smarts: FUCK YOU JEFF!!
Smarts who was travelling at 40 km/h (24.86 mph) tripped on the treadmill and face planted.
Smarts: Fuck you, Jeff
Jeff: Ha, you’ll be thanking me. You’ll need to work harder than hardest to win War.
Smarts stares at Jeff for a moment, and then shakes his head. He knows the fact that you have to work the hardest, and then work harder to win War.
Chapter 4
Bench pressing 50kg (110 lbs)
Smarts rushes over to the bench press, trying to lose Jeff on the way. He quickly puts two discs, each weighing 7.5kg (17 lbs), on each side of the bar. This makes a total of 30kg (66 lbs) on the bar. Smarts lies down on the bench and starts bench-pressing. Of course, the motivational Jimmy is by his side.
Smarts: 1... 2...
Jimmy: Gimme twenty-five!
Smarts: 3... 4... 5...
Jimmy: Sorry, what was that? I can’t hear you!
Smarts (yelling): 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10...
Jimmy: That’s better!
Smarts: 11... 12... 13... 14... 15...
Jimmy: Next you’ll be doing 40kg (88 lbs)!
Smarts: 16... 17... 18... 19... 20... 21... 22... 23... 24... 25!!!
Jimmy: Nice work!
Jimmy puts and extra 5kg (11 lbs) on each side of the bar and says he’s going to get a drink. 5 seconds after hearing Jimmy’s footsteps walk out; Smarts hears footsteps walking back in.
Smarts: That was a quick drink!
Jeff: What drink?
Smarts: <gulp>
Jeff places one more 5kg (11 lbs) discs on each side of the bar, making a total of 50 kg (110 lbs)
Jeff: Do you even lift – 50 kg (110 lbs)?
Smarts: No!
Jeff: You’re about to!
Smarts: Aah!
Smarts can only just lift 50 kg. He’s prepared to leave the bench press but doesn’t have the strength to lift the bar all the way to its rest. At this moment Jimmy walks in.
Jimmy: Joe, what were you thinking?
Smarts: You can blame Jeff for this.
Jimmy: Look, you’re just a beginner and people can easily press 50 kg (110 lbs), you’re just not there yet. Don’t ask me how you can lift other wrestlers.
Smarts: It’s weird. But life is weird. But I will be bench pressing 50 kg (110 lbs) some day.
Chapter 5
Gauntlet
Jimmy: Well, I think you may already be ready.
Smarts: Really? After one gym session?
Jimmy: Yeah, it sounds weird. But this whole roleplay doesn’t really make sense.
Smarts: You make a good point
Jimmy: So, similar to War, I’m gonna place you in a gauntlet. You’ll be up against three of my regular visitors of my gym. Danny Harrison, Kyle McDonald and a guy who likes to be called ‘The Wall’. So basically, you and the 1st opponent will face each other and if you get pinned you lose. If you pin your opponent, the next opponent will come until you’ve faced all of them. You get the idea?
Smarts: Yeah.
Jimmy: Hop in the ring.
Smarts: You have a ring?
Jimmy: Look to your right.
Smarts: Whoa.
And there it was. Shining in the spotlight, literally, a wrestling ring. White canvas, black apron, white ropes, black turnbuckles and black poles.
Jimmy rings a bell
Jimmy: Ladies and gentleman, from Brisbane, Australia, JOE... SMARTS!!
Smarts, forgetting his whole entrance routine, walks out and slides into the ring.
Jimmy: And from Phoenix, Arizona, Danny... HARRISON!!!
Danny sprints into the ring and goes straight for Smarts.
Smarts fights back, and we have a fight on our hands. Danny goes for a super kick already but it is dodged by Smarts and into a German Suplex! Danny no-sells it and hops straight back up. Smarts goes for a Northern Lights Suplex Bridge Pin and succeeds.
1...
2...
Kickout at two. Danny quickly gets back up and goes for a crossbody but it’s reversed into a backbreaker. Smarts heads to the top rope and goes for the moonsault, but what a reversal from Danny. He turns it into a facebuster. Now Danny heads for the top rope but Smarts attacks him! Danny is sitting on the top rope and Joe Smarts is setting up a Superplex and he hits it! Both men are down in the ring. Smarts crawls over to Danny and places a hand over him.
1...
2...
Another kickout. Danny gets up and Smarts does too. Danny quickly Irish whips Joe at the ropes and performs a body slam. Smarts is down on the floor and Danny’s calling for it, his dominating Samoan Drop. Joe Smarts hobbles his way up, oh no, Danny’s got him on his shoulders, but Smarts reverses it to a reverse DDT!! He goes for the pin!
1...
2...
3!!
Danny’s been eliminated!! Smarts is celebrating like wild! Look out! Kyle McDonald came up from behind and coward punched him. Kyle celebrates by putting both his hands up to the side of the downed Smarts—wait! Smarts with the roll-up!
1...
2...
3!!
Oh my god! Kyle McDonald is eliminated already! But the hurt Joe Smarts still has to face ‘The Wall’, and he isn’t called ‘The Wall’ for no reason. 7’1” and 152 kg (335 lbs), he is huge! And something tells me he will dominate Joe Smarts. It’s going to be torture for Joe. Here comes ‘The Wall’. He stares at Joe who seems unconscious. ‘The Wall’ puts an end to his misery by pinning him.
1...
2...
THR...
NO!! It’s a kickout at the last second by Smarts! ‘The Wall’ is intent of crushing his opponent. He carries Smarts with one hand and chucks him out of the ring. You can tell in Smarts’ eyes that he looks destroyed. The Wall going for a suicide dive but misses!! Smarts rolled out of the way!!
ONE!
Both men on the floor. The Wall took a heavy hit with that suicide dive!
TWO!
The Wall gets up. He is staring at Smarts.
THREE!
He picks Smarts up, what strength from The Wall! He just threw Joe Smarts from the floor over the top rope! The Wall enters the ring. Smarts is hurt and hurt badly. The Wall goes for the pin.
1...
2...
THRE...
OH MY GOD!! HOW IS SMARTS STILL MOVING!? The Wall is looking to finish it off right now! He’s on the top rope, looking for a Flying Clothesline. The Wall waits until Smarts somehow stands up. The Wall jumps off, but Smarts catches him in mid-air with a DDT! Both men are down! The Wall and Joe Smarts stand up at the same time. The Wall charges to Smarts and Smarts hits a BRANIAC BOMB!!! Is this it!? The Wall and Smarts are both down. Smarts crawls over to The Wall. He places just a single hand on top of him.
1...
2...
3!!
How did Smarts even win that??
Jimmy: Holy mackerel, Joe. I thought you were gonna lose there?
Smarts: Me too.
Jeff: You see, all that training has paid off. I made you train harder than hardest. I made you run like you never have before; I made you press like you never have before. It has all paid off.
Jimmy: You made him face plant the treadmill!
Jeff: So?
Smarts: Guys.
Jimmy: You gave him too much to handle
Smarts: Guys?
Jeff: Says the person who just made him wrestle a gauntlet!
Smarts: Just listen to me...
Jimmy: I was preparing him for War!
Smarts: Guys!
Jeff and Jimmy: WHAT!?
Smarts: I think I’m about to pass out...
Jeff: What?
Then Joe Smarts collapsed on the floor.
Jimmy: Holy mackerel!
THE END
Part 2 to hopefully be released in time.
Also, I can write better matches than that too.
Also, this roleplay is very inaccurate.
Chapter 1 (That’s right, there’s flippin’ chapters)
Bad Day in the Battlefield
Here we find Joe Smarts once again camping in his living room playing online Battlefield with Geoffrey Smith. They are communicating through headsets with microphones on them.
Geoffrey Smith: I just killed you again!
Joe Smarts: I will get you next time.
Smarts respawns in a completely safe area.
Smarts: And I was just sniped.
Suddenly the words ‘YOU LOST’ appear on the screen.
Jeff: Are you feeling well?
Smarts: Yeah... Why?
Jeff: Well, you’ve died 36 times in one game and only 7 kills over three games. Not to mention that you haven’t even killed me today.
Smarts: I’ve had a bad day today. A bad day in the battlefield.
Jeff: Why you always lying?
Smarts: Fine then! I’m nervous.
Jeff: For what?
Smarts: For War. So much is on the line. A guaranteed spot in the Main Event of One, and the fact there is bragging rights everywhere.
Jeff: I know just what you need. Meet me at 69 Uranus Street.
Smarts: That sounds like a weird place.
Jeff: That was a joke. Actually meet me at 153 Shell Street.
Chapter 2
Should’ve bought my workout gear
Joe Smarts took a brisk 500m walk to 153 Shell Street and stood in front of an epic building. It had white walls and a thick light green roof. It was surrounded by spotlights and a statue of a man on a treadmill. On the building it had clear words on the roof- Jim’s Gym.
Smarts: Out of all the gyms in the world, you chose a local gym which probably crappy equipment.
Jeff: It’s cheap, and look at the presentation of this building!
Smarts: Overdone.
Jeff and Joe walk into Jim’s Gym, one expecting a cheap gym and the other knowing how surprised the one expecting a cheap gym will be. They walk in, to find 6 models of the newest treadmills lined neatly next to each other, numerous bars at different heights for chin-ups, squat stations, barbells, bench presses, dumbbells, kettle bells you name it, they’ve got it, including free Wi-Fi and TVs airing ‘Game of Thrones’. They’ve even got frickin’ sports stars training in here.
Jeff: Hey, here comes Jimmy, he’s the owner of this gym.
Jimmy: Hello there, I believe you are Joe Smarts?
Smarts: Yep.
Jimmy: Ah! You can be in our sports stars list!
Smarts: It would be an honour.
Jimmy heads over to a list of sports star names including great names from athletes to volleyball players. As Jimmy starts printing Joe’s name on the list, he can’t help but notice a familiar name on the list. In big, black, bold letters, is the name Corey Black*.
Smarts: Holy schnitzel! Corey Black used to train here?
Jimmy: Yep. I still remember the days when Corey Black was just an average 17-year-old. Anyways, what you here for?
Smarts: Well, I’m here to work on my skills and be confident. Especially now War is coming up.
Jimmy: Oh Joe. I’m gonna make you wish you went somewhere else.
Smarts (to himself): I should’ve brought my workout gear...
*I kind of used Corey Black without his permission. Please don’t hurt me.
Chapter 3
Train. Train Harder. Train Hardest.
Jimmy: Where do you wanna start?
Smarts looks at all the equipment in Jim’s Gym and simply couldn’t resist the...
Smarts: Treadmills.
After a couple of steps, Smarts and Jimmy arrive at the treadmills
Jimmy: Hop on the treadmill and enjoy.
Smarts walks on the treadmill.
Smarts: Whoa. It just started by itself.
Jimmy: Weight Detection. It’s so you don’t have to press all the buttons to start it.
Smarts: Smart.
Joe Smarts is running on the treadmill at 20 km/h (12.43 mph) when Jeff comes along and turns the speed up.
Smarts: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR??
Jeff: Train.
Smarts: I AM TRAINING!
Jeff: Train Harder.
Smarts: Okay! Okay! I’ll turn the speed up.
Smarts is now travelling at 30 km/h (18.64 mph). However, Jeff turns the speed up more
Jeff: TRAIN HARDEST.
Smarts: FUCK YOU JEFF!!
Smarts who was travelling at 40 km/h (24.86 mph) tripped on the treadmill and face planted.
Smarts: Fuck you, Jeff
Jeff: Ha, you’ll be thanking me. You’ll need to work harder than hardest to win War.
Smarts stares at Jeff for a moment, and then shakes his head. He knows the fact that you have to work the hardest, and then work harder to win War.
Chapter 4
Bench pressing 50kg (110 lbs)
Smarts rushes over to the bench press, trying to lose Jeff on the way. He quickly puts two discs, each weighing 7.5kg (17 lbs), on each side of the bar. This makes a total of 30kg (66 lbs) on the bar. Smarts lies down on the bench and starts bench-pressing. Of course, the motivational Jimmy is by his side.
Smarts: 1... 2...
Jimmy: Gimme twenty-five!
Smarts: 3... 4... 5...
Jimmy: Sorry, what was that? I can’t hear you!
Smarts (yelling): 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10...
Jimmy: That’s better!
Smarts: 11... 12... 13... 14... 15...
Jimmy: Next you’ll be doing 40kg (88 lbs)!
Smarts: 16... 17... 18... 19... 20... 21... 22... 23... 24... 25!!!
Jimmy: Nice work!
Jimmy puts and extra 5kg (11 lbs) on each side of the bar and says he’s going to get a drink. 5 seconds after hearing Jimmy’s footsteps walk out; Smarts hears footsteps walking back in.
Smarts: That was a quick drink!
Jeff: What drink?
Smarts: <gulp>
Jeff places one more 5kg (11 lbs) discs on each side of the bar, making a total of 50 kg (110 lbs)
Jeff: Do you even lift – 50 kg (110 lbs)?
Smarts: No!
Jeff: You’re about to!
Smarts: Aah!
Smarts can only just lift 50 kg. He’s prepared to leave the bench press but doesn’t have the strength to lift the bar all the way to its rest. At this moment Jimmy walks in.
Jimmy: Joe, what were you thinking?
Smarts: You can blame Jeff for this.
Jimmy: Look, you’re just a beginner and people can easily press 50 kg (110 lbs), you’re just not there yet. Don’t ask me how you can lift other wrestlers.
Smarts: It’s weird. But life is weird. But I will be bench pressing 50 kg (110 lbs) some day.
Chapter 5
Gauntlet
Jimmy: Well, I think you may already be ready.
Smarts: Really? After one gym session?
Jimmy: Yeah, it sounds weird. But this whole roleplay doesn’t really make sense.
Smarts: You make a good point
Jimmy: So, similar to War, I’m gonna place you in a gauntlet. You’ll be up against three of my regular visitors of my gym. Danny Harrison, Kyle McDonald and a guy who likes to be called ‘The Wall’. So basically, you and the 1st opponent will face each other and if you get pinned you lose. If you pin your opponent, the next opponent will come until you’ve faced all of them. You get the idea?
Smarts: Yeah.
Jimmy: Hop in the ring.
Smarts: You have a ring?
Jimmy: Look to your right.
Smarts: Whoa.
And there it was. Shining in the spotlight, literally, a wrestling ring. White canvas, black apron, white ropes, black turnbuckles and black poles.
Jimmy rings a bell
Jimmy: Ladies and gentleman, from Brisbane, Australia, JOE... SMARTS!!
Smarts, forgetting his whole entrance routine, walks out and slides into the ring.
Jimmy: And from Phoenix, Arizona, Danny... HARRISON!!!
Danny sprints into the ring and goes straight for Smarts.
Smarts fights back, and we have a fight on our hands. Danny goes for a super kick already but it is dodged by Smarts and into a German Suplex! Danny no-sells it and hops straight back up. Smarts goes for a Northern Lights Suplex Bridge Pin and succeeds.
1...
2...
Kickout at two. Danny quickly gets back up and goes for a crossbody but it’s reversed into a backbreaker. Smarts heads to the top rope and goes for the moonsault, but what a reversal from Danny. He turns it into a facebuster. Now Danny heads for the top rope but Smarts attacks him! Danny is sitting on the top rope and Joe Smarts is setting up a Superplex and he hits it! Both men are down in the ring. Smarts crawls over to Danny and places a hand over him.
1...
2...
Another kickout. Danny gets up and Smarts does too. Danny quickly Irish whips Joe at the ropes and performs a body slam. Smarts is down on the floor and Danny’s calling for it, his dominating Samoan Drop. Joe Smarts hobbles his way up, oh no, Danny’s got him on his shoulders, but Smarts reverses it to a reverse DDT!! He goes for the pin!
1...
2...
3!!
Danny’s been eliminated!! Smarts is celebrating like wild! Look out! Kyle McDonald came up from behind and coward punched him. Kyle celebrates by putting both his hands up to the side of the downed Smarts—wait! Smarts with the roll-up!
1...
2...
3!!
Oh my god! Kyle McDonald is eliminated already! But the hurt Joe Smarts still has to face ‘The Wall’, and he isn’t called ‘The Wall’ for no reason. 7’1” and 152 kg (335 lbs), he is huge! And something tells me he will dominate Joe Smarts. It’s going to be torture for Joe. Here comes ‘The Wall’. He stares at Joe who seems unconscious. ‘The Wall’ puts an end to his misery by pinning him.
1...
2...
THR...
NO!! It’s a kickout at the last second by Smarts! ‘The Wall’ is intent of crushing his opponent. He carries Smarts with one hand and chucks him out of the ring. You can tell in Smarts’ eyes that he looks destroyed. The Wall going for a suicide dive but misses!! Smarts rolled out of the way!!
ONE!
Both men on the floor. The Wall took a heavy hit with that suicide dive!
TWO!
The Wall gets up. He is staring at Smarts.
THREE!
He picks Smarts up, what strength from The Wall! He just threw Joe Smarts from the floor over the top rope! The Wall enters the ring. Smarts is hurt and hurt badly. The Wall goes for the pin.
1...
2...
THRE...
OH MY GOD!! HOW IS SMARTS STILL MOVING!? The Wall is looking to finish it off right now! He’s on the top rope, looking for a Flying Clothesline. The Wall waits until Smarts somehow stands up. The Wall jumps off, but Smarts catches him in mid-air with a DDT! Both men are down! The Wall and Joe Smarts stand up at the same time. The Wall charges to Smarts and Smarts hits a BRANIAC BOMB!!! Is this it!? The Wall and Smarts are both down. Smarts crawls over to The Wall. He places just a single hand on top of him.
1...
2...
3!!
How did Smarts even win that??
Jimmy: Holy mackerel, Joe. I thought you were gonna lose there?
Smarts: Me too.
Jeff: You see, all that training has paid off. I made you train harder than hardest. I made you run like you never have before; I made you press like you never have before. It has all paid off.
Jimmy: You made him face plant the treadmill!
Jeff: So?
Smarts: Guys.
Jimmy: You gave him too much to handle
Smarts: Guys?
Jeff: Says the person who just made him wrestle a gauntlet!
Smarts: Just listen to me...
Jimmy: I was preparing him for War!
Smarts: Guys!
Jeff and Jimmy: WHAT!?
Smarts: I think I’m about to pass out...
Jeff: What?
Then Joe Smarts collapsed on the floor.
Jimmy: Holy mackerel!
THE END
Part 2 to hopefully be released in time.
Also, I can write better matches than that too.
Also, this roleplay is very inaccurate.
