War Just Got A Hell of a Lot More Interesting..

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                       BEHOLD!!!!

            The Magnificent Media Tour!!!



 Starring Everyone's FAVORITE Bastard...And the ONLY Relevant Bastard  in this company! Oft Imitated..Never Duplicated...

                                       The One and Only                                                                                 ADRIAN ARCHER!




:::It is media day for War..At least, one of the media days..The weekend of, there are numerous events being held...The WCF Fan Experience, the Kids Korner, the basic stuff..But Adrian Would not be attending these events..He was not Bates..He was not Battle..He was not Jeff Purse..He was new here, and knew that even though he had the most popular Twitter feed of any wrestler, and his buzz was loud and clear, he was not at that level..Yet. So this first day of the media season for War was held in a small media room of the iconic Madison Square Garden..various WCF low to Mid card talent went from reporter to reporter giving their soundbytes and catch phrases..Adrian, wearing a stylish grey blazer, open oxford shirt, and pressed dress slacks, kept his Aviator sunglasses on inside the room to conceal the disgust in his eyes at this half assed meat market of a gathering..All of the WCF reporters as well as the scum from all of the rags were gathered here..Even the internet trolls with their wannabe newsletters and a forged press pass were here..Adrian steeled himself for what was to come with a deep breath..He knew what he said here would be spread throughout wrestling publications across the globe..With another sigh, he walked through the door and met with the first reporter..:::



Reporter: Excuse me...Do you work here?



::The attractive female reporter was Jolinda Knox, a beat reporter for a small East coast wrestling internet rag that was highly critical of the shit show known as the WCF..Jolinda's kinky, curly auburn hair was pushed back and up which made her forehead look twice as large..Her huge brown eyes showed annoyance and confusion..:::



Reporter: Hey..are you with the event staff?



Adrian: Uh..no...I wrestle for WCF..



::Blank Stare:::



Adrian:...Adrian Archer...



:::Still nothing::::



Adrian: *sigh*..BEHOLD THE BASTARD!



::Upon the performance of his egotistical theatrics, her eyes lit up..:::



JK: YES! The Magnificent Bastard! You look so different with clothes on...



Adrian: Thanks..You probably look quite different naked..



::They share a laugh..Adrian had been with only a couple of black women in his time..Both made him sore with happiness...He tried to block out his carnal thoughts as Jolinda focused herself to the task at hand.:::



JK: Okay..Mr. Magnificence...Tell me..What's it like to be so Magnificent? And what's going on under that robe you always wear?



Adrian: Uh..Uhm...



:::He was not prepared for this..He had not prepped..Barely eaten, barely slept..Spent the last evening watching all of the WCF footage he could find in between workouts and training sessions..On the plane over, he got a nod or two, but not much sleep..He spent the time on his laptop reviewing strategies and movesets..In other words..He was more Adrian than "The Bastard" today..:::



Adrian: 220 lbs of pure adreneline, force, and the will to..



JK: No..I meant..when you gonna give me a reall..deeep...scoop?



:::As she said this, she whispered in his ear and caressed his manhood in a way that proved she could go all night..Now usually, Adrian would depart with this reporter to his hotel room and tag her 8 ways till Sunday..He could imagine making her scream so loud police would be called expecting murder...However, Adrian remained flaccid in her touch..Was the Magnificent one experiencing E.D? NONSENSE! The man has magnificent stamina and control..Besides..this was not a hook up party..Despite the bush league setup, Adrian wanted to talk War and nothing but...besides..unbeknownst to her and everyone else..Adrian had his desires fixed on another...:::



JK: Don't you like me Mr. Archer? ::She said this in a seductive whisper:::



Adrian: Very much so..And I hate to ruin your idea of me..But The Magnificent Bastard is taking a bit of a break..I must be focused on War and my opponents..Maybe some other time Jolinda..But not now...



::: Jolinda quickly backed away, disgusted at being turned down, for it did not happen very often..as she turned and walked away, she said something that would come to define that afternoon..:::



JK: Wrestling? Nobody CARES about your wrestling..Everybody knows you low card NIGGA..



:::And there it was..she must have been pissed for she went ghetto..As she walked away, Adrian admired her large round ass and allowed himself to fill with desire and make it tough for his zipper to contain what it held...But as quickly as he allowed his lust to overtake him, Adrian shook it off and walked, rather carefully as not to injure anyone, to the next reporter..At the sight of this reporter, Adrians excitement quickly died down, for in front of him was a bald, fat, greasy little man, sweating profusely through his cheap suit..he dabbed a thin layer of sweat and oil from his head, and introduced himself...:::



Reporter: Adrian Archer! BEHOLD! Ha ha..Lawrence Oliver Lunk..EfedDaily.com..



:::The little fleshturd extended his hand, which Adrian politely shook..GROSS! A sweaty, clammy, limp wrist hand shake..Adrian attempted to hide his disgust..not that this little slimy troll noticed..Efed Daily was the equivalent of a cheap tabloid online..They did break what would be known as The Apocalypse of WCF, but only because Seth called them instead of his usual Phone Sex line and blathered on about it..Poor Seth..Calling sex lines just to have a friend..Lawrence released his hand..Adrian sure hoped he would ask about his wrestling career..how he planned to win War..His hopes were dashed..as usual..:::



LOL: So Adrian I gotta ask..Who do you thinks gonna win WAR?



Adrian: I KNOW I'm going to win War..



:::And there it went..the laughter was not bad at first..a snort..a chuckle..but then it turned into a full on guffaw..loud peals of laughter echoed through the hall..LOL laughed so hard that he fell to the floor breathing heavily..then his eyes grew wide and he grabbed his chest..he scratched and clawed at his breast pocket and produced a prescription bottle, downing the contents dry...he sat up, and composed himself...then looked up at Adrian..:::



LOL: No..seriously...



:::Adrian, infuriated, started to walk away...Lawrence got up quickly and gave chase..:::



LOL: I'm sorry..sorry..I just..I never actually thought of you as a "wrestler" I mean..you are The Magnificent Bastard..You are, at best, entertaining on the mic and yes, that will get you over..but..I mean come on man..War is..War..Only the best win that..I at most expect some comic prat falls and maybe you eliminate that jobber Kaine to wrap up your nice little feud..but bro..no offense..you're heat fodder..



:::Adrian must be tired..usually, this little choad would have been floor meat by now...but Adrian looked at him and his rage gave way to an epiphany..the little cum stain was right...so far, everyone loved the Bastard..but respect was a distant second...Adrian waited until Lawrence stopped cowering to respond..:::



Adrian: And what better place to prove myself than at War? Lawrence..I've worked damn hard to come back..pushed my body to limits it has not seen in years..Completely overhauled my image..expanded my moveset..I am in the best shape of my life..And I shouldn't expect respect right away..it needs to be earned..I guess going toe to toe with Balfore, Black and the others at King of the Deathmatch was not enough...And I suppose getting within a hair of beating Gemini Battle was not enough either..You and your Internet snarks want to downgrade my talent because of my gimmick? Because I bring the entertainment to Sports Entertainment? Well, you can write this on your tawdry blog Larry..the Magnificent Bastard will NOT be at War..in his place will be Adrian Archer..A man who would go into the fires of hell if someone dared him too..A man who you have never seen before..The best damn wrestler in this business..PERIOD...After I win War, the Bastard will most likely come back to entertain you and your little basement dwelling cronies..but at War..Adrian Archer is is being served, so hot and ready there will be nobody left in that square kitchen..but him..claiming his chance to become the best..



:::Lawrence looks stunned..but he asks one more question.:::



LOL: Hey yo Adrian..can I get a picture? My wife masturbates to you in the bathtub and I want to be a part of that somehow...



:::As Adrian ignored the little pukes request, he found himself a bit puzzled..he thought to himself.."did that all really just happen? THAT DUDES MARRIED?"Well, against his better judgement, and after a good shudder resulting from the aforementioned events, Adrian gathered himself and decided to visit one more reporter before making his way to the podium for the free for all q and a session..F. Gerald Terrell sat alone at a table taking notes..he just finished an interview with a newcomer Adrian did not recognize..So much new talent coming in..Seth was signing contracts like bar tabs on a bender..It was much more difficult when Adrian signed..Seth seems to now be content with throwing money at warm bodies..not that he was not used to that, given he had put numerous girls through college at the tit bar down the street from headquarters..but this was his business..When Adrian owned his business, he was very picky..only the best..but now is now and now Adrian shook the hand of the editor of Hammer lock News..:::



FGT: Well if it isn't The Magnificent Bas..







Adrian: Please..just call me Adrian man..I've had enough of this Magnificent Bastard stuff for now..







FGT: Why? Its a great gimmick! People are buzzing on social media about it...







Adrian: That may be true..But after War..I want people to be buzzing about what I do in the ring...So I ask you, do you have ANY wrestling related questions to ask me?







:::Francis thinks for a moment...Then thinks some more...Then he snaps his fingers..A moment of clarity...Finally, Adrian would be able to make a statement about his plans to win War..After a moment..Francis asks the question.:::







FGT: So..About Damian Kaine,..How do you feel now that he has joined an elite stable while you continue without a friend in the WCF to watch your back?







:::The annoyance on Adrian's face could not be contained..Damian Kaine was a jobber..He had not won one single match in this company..Why in the hell was he and The Brotherhood getting so much attention? Its a land of misfit toys led by a a disgusting unkempt jerk off who was just collecting souls to be controlled..Adrian had been approached to be in The Brotherhood..But it didn't feel right..He could not stand the thought of someone as well established in life as himself being subservient to a miscreant dildo like Bishop..He valued his freedom..and he did not need help..Of any kind..Adrian had had enough...:::







Adrian: You know what Francis? You'll want to go over there to the press pit..All your questions will be answered there...







:::Adrian made haste to the pulpit where another new signing was answering questions...Adrian stepped to the stage...:::







Noob: HEY! WHAT THE..







:::Adrian dispatched of the newcomer with a well placed European Uppercut...The New 'talent" stumbled backward from the pulpit, nearly taking a heavy blue curtain with him..He did in his flailing manage to tear down the banner above the pulpit that read *WCF WELCOMES THE PRESS..WAR..OCTOBER 2ND LIVE ON PPV* In a way, this was symbolized so much of what was happening in the WCF..Chaos..Bullying...And new talent that could not take a bump to save their life..Archer approached the podium to gasps from the press core gathered..He leans over the pulpit..Adrian is now wearing the countenance of a man possessed who may have lost his mind...:::



Adrian: WELL HELLO VALUED MEMBERS OF THE PRESS CORE! Allow me..to introduce myself...I am Adrian Archer...Most of you know me from my entertaining vignettes profiling my life as The Magnificent Bastard! Some of you remember my turn as the surly revenge obsessed Triple A..But I am here to scourge that from you memory..At least in the short term..







All of you press vermin choose to paint me with one brush..All of you look at my character in a comical sense..Like some pony for your amusement..Yes, you LOVE The Magnificent Bastard..you are entertained by his tales of frivolity and his carefree way of life..Yet when it comes to being in the ring..You Smarks should know that that all changes..When I am in the ring, I am Adrian Archer..Veteran wrestler..Former NACW World Chamiopn..Former XWF Commissioner..The youngest to ever hold both designations..a SUCCESSFUL business owner who could run WCF better than Seth Lerch in his SLEEP..Or blindfolded..And this is all BEFORE I arrived here! With that track record, how could you think for a minute that I am not someone who can make an impact at War?







I am sick of being taken lightly..I am sick of Shitstain Kaine acting like he's the man just because he lost to me then sold himself to Massah Bishop! And, for the record..My "daughter"..that was some groupie he picked up at a house show..Yep Damian..Cats out of the bag now "Brother"..Your whole sham and ruse to try and upend me may have fooled that delusional FUCK Gemini Battle..But then again, how hard is that to do to a guy who lives in a fantasy universe full of spaceships and shit that DON'T EXIST...At least Bates is real..A real champion..Gemini, you are just a delusional, sick, sad little man who cannot live in reality..You need to craft a universe where you MATTER..You need a fictional world to compensate for a failed life..Sure you've won here..But what does that matter if you are Broken? You dare mention jobbers like Jason O'Neal and Alex Winterz over ME?? You will regret underestimating me Battle..Like so many of you...Like Odin Balfore did..







And speaking of delusional half wits..Odin Balfore..The God of a land that doesn't exist..a great wrestler with a severe case of full blown CTE that has turned his once half functioning brain to Mush. Here's a newsflash..There IS NO VALHALLA...Bobby Cairo..Is DEAD...Your son...DOES NOT EXIST...Poon Guinea...DOES NOT EXIST...All you are is a pathetic, aging relic of...







:::Some reporters try to cut Adrian off..Adrian produces a handgun from his jacket and points it at the crowd, and fires 2 shots into the ceiling..the crowd is stunned silent and does not move..Adrian continues, laying the gun on the pulpit pointing right at the press pit:::







Adrian: LIKE I WAS SAYING..Before being so RUDELY INTERRUPTED BY YOU SWINE...Odin Balfore..He thinks he can come in here and rule like he never left..He's got Gemini sucking his Thinny...People giving him all sorts of props for what? Things he did like 4 years ago..He's another one who underestimated me..I hurt his fat Nordic ass..And I've only gotten better since then..







I'm declaring my own PERSONAL War on every Mother fucking last one of you..I hear there are some Invaders coming...They don;t know SHIT about Adrian Archer! They think they can waltz in here and take whats theirs? We'll see about that!



The WCF All Stars.. Battle, Phoenix..You will feel the wrath of a man under utilized and under appreciated..You will feel the pain and anger spread about your body like a rash..I'm coming into that ring Like King Kong Bitches! And you will know that my name IS THE LORD...



And for those other newcomers...Get ready to pay your dues boys..I am going to take no prisoners and spare no lives! All will feel my wrath..And when I win that chance to face Bates or Black..Rest assured...The WCF history books will be rewritten, line item vetoed, hell, they may as well be Burnt in the Funeral Pyre of fat fuck pork rind Odin Balfore, and the smell of broken dreams and sizzling bacon will fill the sky as a new era of MAGNIFICENCE forms in the WCF! Yes, I am Adrian Archer..I will always be a Magnificent Bastard! But for War, the theatrics are being put aside..It is time to work...The time has come to show the WCF..







I AM MORE THAN A GIMMICK..







I AM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU...







I AM ADRIAN ARCHER..







AND I WON'T MISS THE MARK!!!!!







:::Adrian destroys the pulpit after removing his gun..Yes fans, Adrian has snapped..The pressure of the sheer disrespect shown to him by not only The Invaders..But his very own PEERS, had gotten the better of him...As he left the small press room, police filed in and grabbed Adrian, locking him in handcuffs and leading him out of a chaotic scene.:::







                  The Magnificent Meltdown



:::Jail...A place Adrian Archer did not know well..Sure other characters claim to have bad ass prison stories and claim to have served time...But Adrian was proud of staying out of trouble with the law...His shirt untucked, head in hands..Adrian thought of what he had just done...The pressure of always being magnificent and not being taken seriously had gotten to him..Maybe he wasn't such a Magnificent Bastard...His dad wouldn't get rattled..But Archer knows how good he is...He is just going to have to prove it in the ring at War..He had to get out of here..He had to train..Just as he started to call for a guard, a guard appeared...:::







Adrian: I would like my...



Guard: Someone just bailed you out.. And since none of the reporters threatened to press charges..Since your pistol contained blanks..And for some reason all charges have been dropped...someone called in some favors..You are free to go...







:::Adrian looked surprised at who had come to bail him out..From our vantage point, we cannot see this person..but from Adrian's reaction we know that the arrival is quite unexpected....As the two men walk out of the jail to processing where Adrian collects his personal items minus his pistol, which has been confiscated for obvious reasons...The men start walking out of the jail and into a parking lot...::::







Adrian: So..I must say I am very surprised you are here...



Person: Why? You are very important to the cause Adrian...



Adrian: Doesn't feel like it...I mean you got the New and Old of the company not taking me seriously..I want to prove them wrong..



Person: And we will...Look, I know your value at War..I know how important you are and how good you are..It is nice to have an unexpected Ace in this deck of jokers...Just show up and give them hell..That's all I ask....And with a little bit of luck...You'll find yourself exactly where you belong...Come Monday...All eyes will be on you my friend..Come on...You've got some training to do..I want to make sure you represent well..There is a lot riding on all of us...War means more this year..And I need all the help I can get..







:::Adrian smiled..Finally, someone who recognized his potential..And not just anyone..A legend..Someone Adrian had admired for quite a while...As he stepped into the black sports car, the last thing we hear from Adrian Archer before the speed away into the New York night..:::



Adrian: Thanks Champ....







:::Scene fades on the tail lights of the speeding vehicle..Next time we see Adrian will be at War..But who was this mystery benefactor? In time..we will find out..:::