wargames baby!

[jasoncash]

It was an absolute beautiful day. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Birds chirped and flew around in a sort of dance. Squirrels played in the trees..and the sound of a massive machine filled the air, ruining the peaceful tranquility of Bloomfield Hills...

Bloomfield Hills was once a peaceful neighborhood. It was the kind of place old folks retired to. Kt was the kind of place you wanted to raise children...atleast it used to be. A few weeks ago all of that changed. Salem Shepard was the first to move in. Salem was the schizo of ZT and while he never really did anything too crazy, the neighbors didnt like him. It had something to do with his painted face. You know old people don't like change. And then came Jason zCash, the brash southern. Jason had not only moved a trailer home into his property, but he'd brought four chickens and a goat. He'd also beaten up a resident and shat on a neighbors porch. And then, after all that, Crazy J moved in, cut down a tree and held a time limit shit challenge. What was once a great places to live, was now going down the drain.

And then we we saw the tank. It was coming up the road, ever so slowly like a snail. You could tell the driver was inexperienced because the tank moved at a snails pace to keep straight.

That tank made its way up the driveway and came to a stop in Jason Cash's front yard. It sat there, rumbling for what seemed like forever. After a few minutes the hatch lifted.

Jason: Brian Worthy!

Jason Cash stuck his head out of the hatch. His face was painted camouflage. He wore military fatigues. On his head was not a cowboy hat, but a red bandana. He looked like a redneck Rambo.

Jason: The shit you doin here?

Brian "Buzz" Worthy stood there with a dumbfounded look upon his face. He never wanted to be there. In truth, he never wanted to interview our hillbilly hero ever again. Alas, his job was news and interviewing WCF stars was part of that. He'd secrety hoped that he'd never be I'm this situation ever again. Last time he interviewed Jason Cash, Jason had made a joke of it.

Buzz: Um...You asked for me to be here. Im still not sure why. Not after the last interview.

Jason climbed down from the turret, stopping only to open a compartment and grabbing himself a beer.

Buzz: Must you drink? You should be getting ready for War.

Jason grinned and pointed to the can. It said Lite.

Jason: Lite beer.

And, well..did anyone really think that Jason Cash would stop drinking..even for something like War? Of course not. It's ignorant to think otherwise.

Buzz: Oh...I see.

Jason nodded in approval.

Jason: How do ya like my new place? Big ole house aint it?

Buzz could really only roll his eyes.

Buzz: Im sure it used to be nice. Now? Not so much.

Jason's smile left his face quicker that Adrian Archer in a match again ZT.

Jason: What you tryin ta sumbitchin say? Dont like my house?

Buzz caught on. I guess he felt the danger he was facing.

Buzz: Oh no...I love it. The chickens are a nice addition. Brings a whole new smell to the area.

Jason agreed.

Jason: Right? Some folks just can't damn it ppreciate the sumbitchin smell of home. I can't wait ta get my donkey moved in.

Buzz kind of caught his breathe.

Buzz: Donkey.

Jason grinned.

Jason: Well hell yea. Can't have a farm without a damn donkey.

Jason stared off in the distance. It was as if he were imagining his donkey.

Buzz: I think we should just get right down to it. Salem and yourself had a chance at the tag titles at Slam. Salem was pinned. How do you feel about the loss. Im sure neither of you were expecting it.

Jason: You bout right bout that mess. We wasn't expectin ta damn lose. We never do. I reckon thas one reason why we done beat the holy hell outta half of wsssf.

Buzz cut him off.

Buzz: Of course you mean W.C.F. Wrestling championship federation.

Again, Jason's smile ran away.

Jason: Naw uh uh. I mean wsssf. This here is America. We damn it pronounce our words here. Now then. Shep got pinned. He a rookie. That was the biggest sumbitchin match that ole boy done ever fought in. Pressure got to 'im. Aint nothin but a thang. That sumbitch'll learn from 'at mess.

Buzz motioned to his camera man. He checked the time.

Buzz: As you know, War is coming up. You'll have to take on the entire roster to win.

This time, it was Jason who did the cutting off.

Jason: We done beat the holy hell outta half them sumbitches already. Aint nothin but a thang I look at this sumbitch like its a damn bar fight. And my ass ain't never lost a bar fight.

Buzz: There are a few returning WCF legends. Some of these guys are pretty tough.

Jason laughed as he took a drink of his beer. He the spit tobacco on Buzz Worthy's shoes.

Jason: Tough is runnin away? Since when? Them sumbitches tucked tail and got the hell out. That aint bein tough..that there is called bein a bitch. They all just puppy dog bitches.

Buzz: Odin Balfore has already spoken. He claims that he's already scared ZT. Any truth to that?

Our hillbilly hero damn near spit out his dip and beer all over Buzz Worthy.

Jason: Aint nobody scared of that rat bastard. Talkin bout his "Thickness" you know what that means, right? Them sumbitches what talks bout that mess got small man syndrome. That means he gots a teeny tiny Weiner. Odin is a sumbitch what has a little dick..an ain't nobody scared of a small weinered sumbitch..No damn body...Specially any of us. We aint scared of a single sumbitch walks Gods free sumbitchin earth. Odin gone halfta learn that mess the hard way. That mess funny though. He got his ass handed to 'im at the death match an we spossed ta be scared of 'im? Hell we already done whooped half the damn roster. If anybody oughta be scared of anybody..it'd be them, right? Right...So that sumbitch better damn it be shakin in his sumbitchin boots..Cause we comin fer 'im.

Buzz was quite stunned by Jason's words.

Buzz: Balfore is one of the most dominant wrestlers ever.

Jason: That don't damn it matter. His ass dominated...big dsmn it deal. What happened here 'fore ZT came round dont matter know more. It's like bein the tallest midget... You might be tall..but you still a midget.

Just as Buzz started to ask another question, the sound of a huge motor filled the air.

Buzz looked. Coming up the driveway was an old troop carrier. A green nineteen forty four GMC troop carrier to be exact. When the truck came to a stop, our hillbilly hero ran to the back.

Jason, Get yer asses off the damn truck!

There were about forty men in the back of that truck. They were all dressed in green military fatigues that hung loosely on their skinny bodies. The men were all older with white hair and a stentch that would make your nose crawl. They were all homeless guys.

As they filed out of the truck, Jason walked back to Brian Worthy.

Buzz: That smell. It's aweful.

Jason nodded.

Jason: Yup..smells like somebody shit his sumbitchin pants.

Buzz: What is all this?

Jason grinned from ear to ear.

Jason: This is War. Well..my version of it. These Wssf rasslers wanna fight a war?..Them sumbitches need trainin. That's why they damn it here.

One old hobo decided he didn't want any part of the, so he turned and started walking back down the driveway. Jason saw it.

Jason: AT! YOU GET YER PUPPY DOG ASS OVER HERE!!! AINT NO DAMN RUNNIN AWAY THIS TIME!

The old man stopped and sighed before coming back. Buzz looked at Jason as if he were wondering about "At". Jason picked up on this fairly quickly.

Jason: At...Yknow...Adrian Archer. That sumbitch always wantin ta run away when his ass sees one of us. Damn shame. I aint never seen a ole sumbitch what runs away like his ass does. That sumbitch'll run away with the quickness. Gotta be fast as hell ta catch his ass. You can't damn it run this time At!

Buzz was a bit stunned by all of this. Who were these old homeless guys really supposed to be? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure he even wanted to know.

Buzz: So this is supposed to be the WCF roster?

Cashed nodded his head.

Jason: They all here. Shep, J, Balfore. Hell thats Joey Flash right damn it there.

Jason pointed directly at a shorter homeless guy who looked lost. This guys eyes were sunken in. He had a look on his face that suggested he was looking for his mother.

Buzz: That's not Joey Flash.

Jason: It sure as all hell is. Look at that sumbitch. That's Joey Flash in the sumbitchin flesh.

Jason left Worthy and walked over to the group of men.

Jason: Yall damn it line up. Straight. Chest out. You eyeballin me boy?

Jason got in the face of one of the homeless guys.

Jason: Dont you damn it eye ball me!

The guy kind of looked down.

Jason: Yall damn it here fer war games! Yall need some damn trainin fore yall get in that rang! Now, yall stay in that damn line!

Buzz: Training? Oh boy.

..hours later..

The sun had gone down, bringing in a dense fog. Bats flew around and crickets chirped. Jason's large yard was lit up by several fairly large lamps. There were trenches dug in one half. There were tables filled with bottles of jack Daniels. In the other half of the yard was an area that was taped off, making two sides. There was on bycycle on each side. Next to the bikes, were one long pole each. At the front of both of them sat a table. There was a table clothr that read WCF News. Behind that table sat our news crew, Joe Cameltoe, Big Dick Daryl and Jigaboo Jerome.

Joe: Welcome to ZT presents Wargames. Brought to you by..Midol.

BDD: That's right Joe. Tonight the entire WCF roster will start a competition. Only one can win.

Jerome: You guys sure as hell said it. This shit looks like it's gone be funner than a night out with Twilight's titties. What do we have first, Joe?

Joe Cameltoe: Well, first we have a game called "Get Drunk and Charge. The object of this game is to Get Drunk as fast as you can and then charge into the trench.

BDD: That's right, Joe. And inside that trench is an obstacle course. Those obstacles are hypodermic needles, four blow up dolls, a dog, and a swimming pool

Jermone: Sounds like my kind of game. Now, we cant forget about the rules. There will be four heats. Each heat will have ten rasslers. The first heat starts shortly and will be ran by Z-Mac, Adrian Archer, Oblivion, and Lilith.

Joe: Where the fuck did Daryl go?

Jerome: I don’t know, but it's time to start the first race

At the starting line stop three rather skinny, drunk looking old man. The fourth was of course fake Lilith. Each of them stood at the liquor table. They filled up their red solo cups with whiskey,drank it down, spun around in a circle and darted off.

Joe: And they're off!

Jerome: It looks like Lilith has the lead!

Joe: They're coming to the needles! Lilith in the lead!

Jerome: Oh no, Joe! Z-Mac has rolled up his arms and injected himself!

Joe: That's not good, Jerome. Those needles are filled with Aids!

Jerome! That's right, Joe. That Zombie now has Lilith Aids! Speaking of Lilith, she's getting close to the blowup dolls!

Fake Lilith stopped running..well..stumbling, and planted herself crotch first on one of the dolls. "She" then started grinding on it.

Joe: And Lilith is humping a doll! I just can't fucking believe this shit Jerome! Lilith is fucking a blow up doll!

Jerome: And she's being passed by Oblivion and Archer. We'll see how this goes. My money is on Obi.

Joe looked over at Jerome.

Joe: I dont know Jerome. Archer is the faster man!

It was about that time, they came to the dog. " Archer" stopped. "Obi" kept running.

Jerome: And look at that! Who the fuck would have guessed that Adrian Archer would run away like that.

Jerome looked directly into the camera and smiled.

Joe: And we we have a winner! Oblivion!

Jerome:! Yea and we have to find a new dog. The big bad serial killer just killed it, Joe.

Joe: Anything to win, Jerome!

Big Dick Daryl was back. His suit was sweaty. He was out of breathe.

Joe: Welcome back, Daryl!

BDD: What did I miss?

Joe: Z-Mac gave himself aids and Lilith fucked a doll

BDD: That it? Lilith is always fucking bears and shit.

Jerome: That doesnt matter folks, because we have our next race. Our competitors are at the line.

BDD: That’s right Jerome. Next up is Joey Flash, Odin Belfore, Jason Cash

Jerome: I love that guy

BDD: Shut the fuck up and let me finish. JEEEZZZZZ! And

Joe: And Sarah Twilight!

Big Dick Darly looked over to his right where Joe Cameltoe sat. He didn’t look happy. Joe simply grinned and winked

And so "Cash", Belafore", Twilight", and "Flash" Each started downing their cups. "Cash" stopped to pour more.

Jerome: Jason Cash pouring another drink?!

BDD: He's going all out Jerome!

Jerome: That’s my kinda guy right there!

Joe: They're spinning around! And they're off!

BDD: Joey Flash with the lead! He's going through the syringes!

Joe: WAIT! Jason CAsh has quickly caught up! That mother fucker is fast! What is he doing?!

Jerome looked directly into the camera and grinned.

Jerome: He's stabbing Joey Flash in the eye with the syringe!

BDD: Oh ma GAWD! There is an eyeball in that trench! That is disgusting! That motherfucker is crazy! Holy Shit!

Joe: And Cash has the lead! But Twilight is on his ass!

Jerome: Look at those titties bounce, Joe! It's mesmerizing!

BDD: They're coming up to the dolls! Belfore is taking out his dick! What the fuck is wrong with this guy!

Jerome: Small man syndrome, Big Dick.

Joe: he saw it. He finally saw his dick. Oh my..He's putting his head down in shame! Wait...He' fallen out! He's face first in the dirt, guys!

BDD: He looks dead!

Jerome: He died of pure shame, Fellas!

Joe: That leaves only two competitors! Cash and Twilight! They're headed past that mangy ass dog! They're at the kiddie pool! No! No! It cant be! Jason CAsh is drowning Sarah twilight in the pool! Her sweet titties cant save her!

Jerome: That’s my sumbitchin boy right there! The winner of the second heat! Jason John Cash everybody!

"Cash" stumbled out of the other end of the trench. The old homeless guy was out, drunk as hell, and out of breathe. He walked away, puked, and appeared to have passed out.

The third heat was ready to go. Lined up were "Crazy J", Damien Kaine", CJ Pheonix", and Alex Winterz". They each filled their cups, downed the whiskey, and started spinning around.

BDD: That CRazy J guy is gonna win this one!

Joe: He has to, Big Dick! We're pulling for him!

Jerome: And they're off! Crazy J in the lead! He's quite a ways ahead of the others. He's past the syringes! He's coming to the dolls! No!

BDD: That son of a bitch is fucking the same doll lilith did! No! J! What about Lisa?

Joe: He's done! Wait.. Alex Winterz is coming past him. No! J bit a hole in a blow up doll! He's suffocating Alex Winterz with it!

BDD: That’s my mother fucker! That’s my mother fucker!

Jerome! They're coming to the dog! J is past it! Damien Kaine runs under the dog! How!? How did he do that?

Joe: He's a fucking midget! That’s how!

BDD: It doesn’t like like CJ Pheonix had that good luck! That dog just bit him right in his dick! Oh my God! That has to hurt. God damn it!

Jerome: They're coming to the pool! J waded through with no problem!

Joe: I dont think Kaine can swim, Guys! He's struggling! That water is waaay over his head!

BDD: And the winner! My mother fucker! Crazy J!

"Crazy J" had won, but he ran back into the muddy trench and grabbed one of the blow up dolls. What he was going to do with it is anyone's guess.

It was getting rather late. Rain was starting to come down in buckets. Our WCF News crew had grabbed some umbrellas. They're werent about to miss any of this action! Line up, ready to compete were "Salem Shepard", "Cliff of Doom", "Dion Necurat", and "Cap WCF",

Joe: I think Salem Shepard has this one in the bag! Look at him! He's raring to go! He's ready!

BDD: I agree, Joe. He cant lose to a fucking teacher, fake ass gladiator OR a condom wearing asshole!

Jerome: They've drank the cup! They've spun! And they're off! And Salem Shepard has pulled that condom tighter over Cap WCF's face. I don’t think he can breathe!

Joe: He's racing dirty, Jerome! If you're not first, You're last!

BDD: You sure said it. CAp is out of the race!

Jerome: What is Salem doing now?! It looks like he's biting Cliff of Doom's ears! He did! He just spit it out! That’s damn it disgusting!

Joe: It's not disgusting at all, Jerome! That guy is hell bent on winning this race!

BDD: And it's only Salem and Necurat! He's passing Salem!

Joe: Salem just did the Ali Shuffle! That allowed Dion Necurat to pass him!

Jerome: Wait.. He just tapped Dion on the shoulder! Dion is looking around. He's in a daze! He's lost! And Salem ran past the dog. He's through the pool! He's won!

This went on for hours until there were only ten competitors left. The pack had been shrank and now, they were in the finals.

Joe: This has been great action so far, guys!

BDD: That's right, Jerome! We've seen the entire WCF roster tonight!

Jerome: They've fought tooth and nail to get where they are, fellas. Joe! Who do we have left?

Joe Cameltoe eyed the field. He saw "Jason Cash" swaying. He saw "Crazy J" pacing back and forth. He saw "Salem Shepard" eating something, possibly ear. He saw "Bishop", "O'neil", "Spearman", "Extreme", "tomohawk", "Blaze", and "FPV". They were grouped near another table. This table sat in front of the track that was divided with police tape. On each end was a table with bottles of Jack Daniels. There was a bicycle on each end. And next to those bicycles was a long pole

Jerome: And the rules for this next and final competition are as follows. Each competitor has to drink an entire bottle of Jack daniels. Then they have to get on the bikes and joust! Last man standing wins!

BDD: Joe, Who's first up?

Joe: First up we have Jason Cash versus Tomohawk!

Jerome: Let's go Jason Cash!

BDD: And they're drinking the whiskey! Cash is done already! Fellas, I don’t know if you see this, but he's reaching for another bottle!

Joe: He's down that one too! Tomohawk doesn’t look good! He's stumblling to the bike! He's on it, but going slow!

Jerome: Cash is on his just fine! It's like this guy didn’t even drink anything!

BDD: And Tomohawk falls over. He's passed out! Your winner! Jason John Cash!

"Jason Cash" grinned a toothless grin to himself and waited for his next turn.

Jerome: Up next is FPV and Salem Shepard!

BDD: And they're drinking the whiskey. Salem is struggling.

Joe: He's not much of a drinker, Big Dick, but I think he's gonna be fine.

Jerome: They're done! They're stumbling to the bikes! They're riding to each other! FPV thrusts is pole at Salem! He missed! Salem catches him on the chin!

Joe: I knew he could do it, guys! I'm betting on this guy winning!

BDD: FPV is still down, guys. I think he's hurt. Oh my Lord..His jaw is hanging by a thread!

"FPV" stumbled away and fell into the trench. Screams of pain filled the air as the dog tore at his flesh.

Jerome: Next We have Crazy J versus Kevin Bishop!

The two hobos waited and eyed each other.

BDD: They're staring each other down! They have nothing but hate for each other!

Jerome: and they're drinking! Crazy J didn’t drink his! He broke the bottle! He broke the bottle!

Joe: He's on his bike! Kevin Bishop is still drinking! Wait... He's stabbing Kevin Bishop! He's stabbing kevin Bishop!

BDD: That’s my mother fucking boy! Your winner.. Due to killing Kevin Bishop..CRAZY MOTHERFUCKIN J!

Joe: and then there were five!

BDD and Jerome looked over at Joe

BDD: The fuck you mean five? WE still have two more jousts!

Jerome: Nah man... Mikey Exteme and Spearman are gone. Only sumbitches there are O'neil and Blaze.

Joe: Guys. I think we have a problem here. You see...WE got five mother fuckers here to race. Some body only gonna have one joust?

All three sat there, thinking. Minutes passed. Finally, Jigaboo Jerome smiled. He had an idea.

Jerome: Which one of these sumbitches finished Drink and Charge first? Cash, right? Well..He goes last!

All three nodded in agreement

BDD: I guess first up, we got my boy Crazy muthafuckin J versus... Teddy Blaze!

Joe: I hope J kills this mother fucker!

Jerome: It did! You fuckin missed it! I wish we had rewind! That crazy asshole stabbed Teddy Blaze in the face!

Joe: blood is everywhere!

Jerome: Fellas.. Up next is Crazy J and Salem Shepard! Who's gone win this sumbitch?

Big Dick Daryl: J!

Joe Cameltoe: Shep!

Jerome: They gone! Where they at? I mean.. Where are they? I don’t see them anywhere!

Big Dick Daryl: I don’t know! Wait! Do you hear that? Someone is crying! Is that..Is that J?

Joe: That’s right! He's putting dirt on the trench. Poor guy! It looks like he's burying Lisa!

Jerome: Salem is gone too! That sumbitch aint nowhere ta be seen... I mean.... Where did that chap go?

BDD: Is that him hiding under the truck? It is! Must be the voices.

Jigaboo Jerome stood up. He walked over to "Jason Cash" and shook his hand.

Jerome: You won. Yer prize? Yo ass gets all the whiskey!

"Cash" nearly fainted.

Joe: And that’s it for Wargames,

BDD: Presented by Zero Tolerance!

Jerome: For Joe Cameltoe, Big Dick Daryl, I'm Jigaboo Jerome..Signing off.

The scene faded to black


...The very next day.....

Clouds blanketed the sky. Not just those kind of dark clouds. No, it looked like Death made a home in the sky.. Moved in and was preparing to unleash hell on the world. Wind blew in gusty circles. It was the type of weather that Michigan rarely, if ever, saw.

Jason Cash sat on a tree stump just outside of his trailer. He wore his usual...ZT Shirt, Jeans, cowboy hat. He was drinking a beer as always and had his little handicam out.

"War... What is it good for? Absolutely EVERYTHANG! Yea...I damn it said that mess. Its goooood fer every damn thang. Why's that? Simply really.. Cause ya get ta fight. See... I love a good fight. Sometimes....I wonder why I love ta fight so much. Is it the rush? Maybe. Is it the pain? Maybe. I mean.. I do get stronger as that sumbitch goes on. Who the hell knows though.. I aint damn it complainin! And I aint bout to neither.

Now....I done heard a lot bout this mess. They say it's the bigggest sumbitchin match of the whole damn year. The entire wsssff roster gone get it on in that sumbitchin rang. They say only the toughest sumbitches win. And I gotta question that mess.. Cause I'm the toughest bastard this fuckin place done ever see and I aint won it. Only cause I aint never been in it. Yall know that right? The only sumbitchin reason I aint never won a sumbitchin War match is cause I aint never been in one.

This sumbitch spossed ta be huge! Hell it's got some puppy dog bitches come back fer it. So..I reckon it's a big ole deal. Hell....Ta me... This sumbitch is just another fight. It's just another opportunity ta beat the holy hell outta some sumbitches. And that’s what I plan on doin. I plan on getting drunk. Getting a dip... And puttin boots ta asses like only a sumbitch like me can. An it don’t make two shits who it is neither. Dont matter if it's J... Dont matter if it's Shep. Them sumbitches know we gone help each other... But if we the last three? Hell it's anythang goes. And I know them two sumbitches feel the same.

Now....I said there was some older folks comin round. Couple of em already done talked. Hell.. I tried watchin Joey Flash last night. That sumbitch... Do he know he talks so damn much? Hell I passed out with that sumbitch on my tv... Woke up hours later....And did you know that sumbitch was still damn it talkin? Who in the blue fuck can talk that damn much? I reckon he just got a lot ta say. I reckon he just stallin. He don’t really wanna fight. That’s why his dumbass left. He thank it's some big deal that he only forty four and five. That means...what? We spossed ta shit our britches and run away? Hell son...Aint no damn body runnin from ya! Least not a single sumbitch in ZT.. Hell Cap Retard aint runnin neither. He too damn retarded. Hell..You thank yer the first sumbitch what wanted ta damn it brag bout his record? YOu aint. Hell after getting in the rang with ZT? Yo ass'ed be forty four and six.... Cause we'd beat that ass till that ass couldn’t be beat no more. Thats what we do.

Know...I look at that sheet...That sumbitchin paper what has everybody's names on it? And I thank... We done already beat the holy hell outa most of these sumbitches! We already done whooped half the damn roster. What in the actual hell is these other sumbitches gone do? I'll tell ya.. Not a damn thang... that’s what. These sumbitches aint been round in months.. Gone come bee boppin round here like they own the join? Shit man...Yall don’t own shit. Yall's asses ran off like AT AT AT did. And that’s just damn sad. Yall in the same level as that rat bastard...And that’s just bad... Cause he sucks. That sumbitch is a sumbitchin asshole!

Hell..them old sumbitches been sittin on they couches. We been fightin..and they thank they tough shit? They ran away. Them sumbitches ran away like scalded dogs...an now? Now them sumbitches wanna damn it take over? Well..I gotta say..that mess don't sit all that great with me. Joey Flash..got his ass over his sumbitchin head. Disappeared...an thanks he's gone come back now? Yall know what I do ta sumbitchin retards. I kickem in they balls...an guess what. Joey Flash has got ta be a damn winder licker. .if he thanks he just gone waltz on in..whoop ass..and be dine. Shit dont work like that son!

Ell..I gotta message ta all of yall. We done whooped half yall. The other half of ya just ain't faced no ZT member yet. At War..yall will...Yall gone git yer ass whooped. yall are..and yall's asses dont even damn it know it."

Jason took a drink of his beer and watched as a bumble bee flew around.

"This is how I see this sumbitch goin. Henry Spearman gets his ass in there.... and He whoops his own ass! Nah..He cant even do that mess. His ass gets in there...and Necurat whoops his ass. Spearman is that damn worthless.... That gladiator what aint got no damn arena whoops his ass... Then everybody gets in that sumbitch. Blood's splatterin, sweats flyin.. And AT Archer is cryin! He cryin cause his punk ass aint got room enough ta damn it run away. But as I was sayin...Every damn body is damn it fightin... Then it happens. Thats right..IT happens. And naw..I aint talkin bout Oblivion and his stupid ass "It's a killer!" Bullshit. Naw..I'm talking bout...IT. Zero Tolerance. WE get called out. ONe by one..... ON by sumbitchin one we enter that sumbitchin rang.... And we just start laying waste ta every sumbitch in that ran. We puttin boots ta sumbitchin asses. We just beatin the brakes off them sumbitches. Joey Flash comes round... I kick that sumbitch right in his damn balls. Thats what I damnit due ta retards like that sumbitch. I kick them asshole in the balls. And his as quits. Then we show Odin Balfor that he got a teeny tiny little dick... And his ass just quits livin. And since he dead...He cant damn it fight no more. But as I was sayin... We layin sumbitchin waste ta every damn body. We like Chuck Norris fightin crippled folks... Round houses every damn where! We go through every sumbitch in Wssf... And then when its down ta us? We fight it out. We against each other at the end.... We all know that mess. We gotta damn it fight. We gone help each other get to that end though.. And then...I win....yall been warned.

He finished his beer and threw the bottle on the ground
Scene fades