Reintroduction to the Inevitable
Sept 20, 2016 12:53:42 GMT -5
Joey Flash, Gemini Battle, and 2 more like this
Post by Odin Balfore on Sept 20, 2016 12:53:42 GMT -5
RP 2
WAR
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Scene one: Reintroduction to the Inevitable
Hank Brown: Ladies and Gentlemen, Hank Brown here. I am here tonight in WCF studios with a WCF dot com podcast EXCULSIVE! That is right, I am the only one in WCF to get an in depth sit down interview with a WCF legend. With me now is former WCF world champion. He one half of the greatest Tag Team of all time and the best ‘big man’ in wrestling history. With me of course is the one and only Odin Balfore. Now Odin, do you want to reintroduce yourself to the WCF audience who may not be familiar with you and your work in WCF. I mean, a lot, a lot, has happened over the past couple of years and the name Odin Balfore has a lot of different connotations to it. Of course we have seen you recently in the King of the Deathmatch Tournament. So for those that may have seen it, can you elaborate on who you are and why it is that you are with me here today in the WCF studios.
Odin Balfore: Well Hank, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. I am a former two time WCF champion and I have been with WCF for six years. I am one of the longest contracted works that is still currently with the WCF. I know that a lot of people know me for my backstage roll in WCF but back when I was active I had a very notable run as world champion and one of the most successful runs as tag team champion with Bobby Cairo.
Hank Brown: Right, right. Now, can you take us back to two thousand and eleven because I personally feel as though there are a lot of similarities between then and now.
Odin Balfore: I actually touched upon this. I have to agree with you. Back then there was no leadership and the WCF world title was in transition. I then won the WCF championship, much to the ire of the entire locker room and I brought not only the title but also the company to a new level of recognition because of my talents. No one in the back liked it but it had to be done. It is just like where we are now. We have had transitional champions in WCF since before May and with every crowned WCF champion, they have faded, distorted and unremarkable title run. How can the company go anywhere when the World champion does not go anywhere, let alone take the WCF anywhere. It is supreme stagnation at its finest and WCF seems content with that. That is the difference between me and everyone else. I am not content with seeing WCF just sit and bob in the water until it gets tired and drowns. No one liked that I was carrying this company because I was not one of them. I was the ultimate outsider at the time and I still kind of am. Moreover, you know what, that is OK with me. I am not here to be anyone’s friend. I have not returned to WCF to hold hands and sing songs. I came to break backs and win WCF World Championships. It is focus and determination and everyone currently in WCF lacks that.
Hank Brown: Why; why do you think people lack that? What is missing in WCF currently?
Odin Balfore: I have said true leadership but it is also a will. No one is willing to do it. Sure, guys claim that they want it or that they can do it but we have not seen that. I have not seen that yet from anyone, we have had former WCF champions have a second go as World Champion in the past couple of months, and we see how that went.
Hank Brown: Oblivion and Jeff Purse.
Odin Balfore: Exactly. Oblivion has to drive harder than anyone in this company does because no one believes in him or takes him seriously. He had the title and he did not know what to do with it. Oblivion is like the kid that you pick last on soft ball and you stick him in the outfield and hope that he doesn’t screw up. Well, he screwed up. The ball came at him, he caught it and just looked at it. He may have even shit himself in surprise because after all these years, he did it. So here comes Jeff Purse to help him out and Purse takes the ball and tries to throw it to second. Stewart Slane then at least checks off the bases and holds it down. But there’s still Chaos in the group. So then, Gemini Battle gets an easy up at bat but that’s legged out by Bates. It is just a cluster fuck of ‘who’s on first’ and whose going to load the bases up for a home run to win the game. Battle had the title and handed it off to Bates. All of these champions are just lateral moves. Who is standing at the top of WCF as undisputed WCF World Champion; no one. For five months, there has not been a true champion, so I am going to change all that by winning WAR Fifteen and becoming the new number one contender for the WCF World title.
Bates and Battle, they are not main event guys. They are not skilled enough to make that tier of talent look good. I will tell you honestly and truthfully, they are like children playing pretend. They are like lovers playing house. Realistically, they just are not the guys for the job. And yah, they can hold up their chins and say that they did it. There are forty-seven unique WCF World Champions and a casual fan might be able to name ten. No one is going to remember these guys for what they did except for themselves. It is disgustingly shameful and sad that they are what WCF turned into. They should not have gotten out of midcard and they should not closing the show.
Hank Brown: So what do you think their problem is?
Odin Balfore: Battle tries too hard and Bates does not try hard enough. Battle thinks that because he is the weird guy that people are going to cheer for him. Truth of the matter is that WCF is filled with weird guys. Gemini Battles greatest accomplishment to date still is that he is friends with Thomas Bates and that they are in the DRG together. Never mind his title wins, never mind his Ultimate Showdown win and never mind his WAR eliminations record – which, I’m going to destroy this week. Battle eliminated six guys, Odin Balfore is going to eliminate ten plus. I’m going to pin at least ten guys and Battle is going to be one of them, I guarantee you that.
With Bates, he just assumes that because he is the ‘good guy’ that everyone just likes him by default. But all he has done was get two world title shots that he didn’t deserve. That is it; he is known for losing the majority of the time. Even from what we have seen from him recently, he is not trying to get over. He thinks that ‘Bates Boot’ is enough to carry an entire WCF career- it is not. Corey Black is mocking him right now and that is just pissing all over Bates at the moment. He – he has nothing. Like I said before, Bates is just the guy that is holding the strap down for me so me and Corey Black can finish our business.
Hank Brown: Well right now there is another WCF talent returning to the ring for WAR, Sarah Twilight. What are your thoughts on that? The General Manager of WCF put herself on the active roster so that quote: “Seth can run Slam and I can run WAR.”
Odin Balfore: I was in Seth’s office when something like that came down the pipeline but that’s now an official thing. Honestly, it is all based on her ego. I mean, she was in four segments the other week. So now like a couple of other people, she thinks that she came reactivate herself and pick up an easy win and continue to be the one dimensional character that she’s always been. She is going to harp so much on the ‘best female’ wrestler and ‘best female’ champion because she needs those defining features to boast about her less then stellar WCF career. Her last two matches in WCF were brutal losses to ZMAC and to Howie Black, who humiliated her so bad in that match that she quit the fed. I did not return to WCF to fear some redhead who needs constant satisfaction and gratification. Truthfully, no one does and they do not have a reason too. Her and people like her, need WAR to add to a slim list of accomplishments because they lack the substance that makes up a truly prolific career. Unlike her, I have a truly prolific career and my history making performance this week at WAR will only add to the legacy that I have forged for myself.
Hank Brown: You have been very vocal about all of that. Do you have any thoughts on the other champions in WCF at the moment.
Odin Balfore: I would say that is good to have new faces as champion but that they really are not pushing any envelops. We have CJ Anderson, those guys from Zero Tolerance and I am not impressed one bit.
Hank Brown: Do you think that they’ll make a jump for WAR?
Odin Balfore: They all might try. They would be foolish not to try but at the same token, they would be foolish to try just the same. You have to have the talent in the first place to be a big time player in WCF if you want to come out on top at WAR and these guys, like ninety-nine percent of the Dub just are not big time players.
Hank Brown: You talk about big time players, do you think we’ll get to see any other returns. Twilight is coming back, FPV is coming back for WAR. Any chance that we could see Johnny Fly, Wade Moor or even Jay Omega; since some past wrestlers have been seen on WCF.com’s fan forums.
Odin Balfore: Absolutely. I mean, WAR is being held in the most iconic venue in wrestling history. For someone to come back and win WAR at MSG would be a very big thing; except the only problem with that is that I am going walk out of WAR with history on my side. These guys that left, they left for a reason. I left because I was in the right place to do so. I spent the last few years of my career here and I walked away how I wanted. Not many people get to do that. Now, I get to walk back in the way I want and do what I want.
Hank Brown: Is Corey Black a factor in this?
Odin Balfore: It is a rivalry that both the World Title and the WCF need right now. All these guys in the Dub, returning to the Dub, thinking that they are just going to show up and do that impossible feat, they’re throwing weak game. They are going to walk out, tell their shitty story and leave. If they don’t win, we don’t hear from them again for another year. Me, I never left. I have been with WCF in some form from the beginning. I can see the state of the company from an objective view and it sucks. The company is in one of the worst ways that it can be in right now. If people who want to return or thinking about having a one off like Twilight, Fly, Flash, Moor and Omega need to get it through their heads that they are not what is best for business because they do not know the business the way that I do. I am dead set on eliminating ten people from the match and a lot of the former world champions will end up being eliminated by my hands. They all came for glory but they just got stuck in the shadow of the AllFather. They come for immortality but they stay become a statistic. I’ll tell you, I have I have been gone a long time and I have a lot of well-deserved beatings to hand out; from former champs to current champs to dudes who think that one day they could be champs. So War Fifteen will be a reintroduction to the inevitable; Odin Balfore being on top, being crowed the number one contender and going on to win ONE for the world title. That’s just the way that it is going to be.
Hank Brown: Alright, Odin, I want to thank you for your time. I think that’ll just about do it for this pod-- Ops. Guess not. It appears that we have call. Hello, you’re on the air with the Hank Brown Experience.
Caller: Yeeesss… Helll-oo. You don’t know who I am but Odin does. And I have a question. Odin, do you know where your son is? Well, do you? I know. I know where he is. He’s here with me. Hm…. Pitty. He had such a bright future ahead of him. Come find me Balfore. Come and find your son.
Odin Balfore: I want my son!
Caller: And I want my WAR!
*Click *
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Scene Two: The Thickness Ride Again
The Great Hall. Valhalla.
:: The Great Hall in Valhalla was infinitely big. There were many rooms, branching off from its man section and those rooms lead to other rooms, so on and the like. I had arrived at Valhalla as fast as I could. I needed to consult with Cairo regards my next course of action. I wanted Thor back but had no idea where Krampus was keeping him. Walking into the hall, I knew that Cairo was somewhere, being treated like a hero and he was. Towards the other end of the hall Cairo was setting on a thrown being feed beer out of a never ended beer horn and handfuls of grapes. As I approach he kicks his feet off the arm of the thrown and dusted his palms off. He stands up and greets me with open arms. Cairo is wearing a pair id expensive jeans, shoes and his Fenrir wolf coat; stupid fucking wolf. I’m glad he killed that thing; I really am.
Bobby Cairo: Odin! My Brotha, whats good, whats good? How is everything going?
Odin Balfore: Yo, on the real, shits catastrophic.
Bobby Cairo: I know! Mother fuckin government done did Harambe dirty. Fuckin Jane Goodall was all up on the grassy knoll. Dirty knee’d gootch all slimy with the unthick goo of free market enterprise.
:: Cairo looks up and around, cursing to the sky.::
Bobby Cairo: Bitch, I know it was you.
Odin Balfore: I, I don’t know who that is.
Bobby Cairo: Harambe; the second coming of Jam Willy in the flash to the earth. He done died fo’ yo’ sins. Fo’ everybody’s sins and they done waxed him for tryin a heal a childs stupidity. Shee-it. You just cant walk up into Gawds house like that N’ shit. Less’n you wanna get that piece straight rock’d six.
Odin Balfore: Well you know I’m down with Jam Willy no matter what but that’s not why I’m here. Thors been gone for a couple of months and I just heard that Krampus has him.
Bobby Cairo: Krampus? But we killed that mo’ fawk.
Odin Balfore: But clearly not enough to stay dead. But I think he did this on purpose. With you gone, and Thor out of the way, he knows I would make it back to the Dub.
Bobby Cairo: I saw that shit, you killin’ it.
Odin Balfore: So he’s trying to keep me out of WAR, figures I’d go find Thor and miss the event. Do me dirty twice.
Bobby Cairo: Fah real. You don’t evah do a many dirty twice. The only time you can do someone dirty, dirt-style, is if you fuck them in the ass then they forget that you fucked them in the ass so you do it again. Like you when you hit the Dub back in twenty eleven. You gone do it again. So I guess that means that Krampus don’t remember that solid ass whoopin we gave him last night. We sent him to hell but now we done have to send him right back. You gone kill it at WAR, my friend. I’m going to make sure of that. We gone get ya boy back and you gone get that number one contendership.
:: Cairo looks back at the women that were feeding him.::
Cairo: RiRi, get me my pistol. There gone be a lot of bitches about to get GOT up in here.
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Scene Three: Odin Goes to Hell (read WCF)
:: Mega Death booms out of the Beamer of Death. It is rule. It is law. Cairo and I cruise right on into hell. Fuck the tolls. We ride for free. Christian hell sucks. Its like a slightly more upscale version of Detroit except on fire…a lot of fire. Now, the Beamer of death was modified to withstand the rigors of trans-special travel; it’s the next step up from time travel. Like ten dudes got time machines, THE THICKNESS is the only ones that can go see gawd.. Or evil santa. But let’s face, those two are arguably one in the same at this point. We ride up to the gates of hell and whose there to greet up but John Candy himself; talkin all ‘sorry sir. Hells closed. The Arabs out front should have told you.’ Indeed there were droves of Arab men, all died by bombings and Jihad Justice. They be thinkin’ they’d be getting seventy-two virgins. Well they be right. Except anyone whose been with that V-poon knows that, that’s hell. Besides, heaven spelled backwards is Nevaeh. As in you broke Arab mo fucks aint evah getting into heaven and you aint evah tappin no poon.
We crash through the gate with the beamer of death and continue up this winding mountain path that leads into a large stone castle that sits in a lake of magma (it’s not lava yet kids, that’s called science). We cruise on up bumping that Mega Death so that Krampus knows that we’re coming for him but as we enter a wider part of the path extends out into a larger flat section we’re stopped by a gigantic beast. I take evasive action, firing my .60 cal hand cannon special at it but it has no affect. The damn thing is impervious to descriptive words. Fuck, I may have to shoot this thing after all. However, during my evasive action, the car flips over and we have to crawl out and fight the monster head on. Monster e THICK. Cairo is visibly pissed as peels off his own ruined fur coat. ::
Bobby Cairo: You go ahead. Home boy over here owes me a new coat.
:: Cairo bends down and pulls a straight razor from him boot. ::
Bobby Cairo: And I’mma get me that coat.
:: Cairo looks back at me while still keeping an eye on the monster. ::
Bobby Cairo: Nig, you got WAR to win, you don’t want to sit here and focus on this jibbah jabbah.
:: Cairo was right, the time for cheap pops and cameo appearances was over. I raced off towards Krampus castle, which might as well have been Madison Square Garden. This is going to test me on the level that WAR is going to test me. Except I know how to be both a leader and a father. I am the AllFather and I am about to get my son and WCF, two things that I created, back from the hands of the wretched that try and destroy what I created. Well that is not going to happen. To you, Krampus, and the current ‘stars’ of the WCF, Odin Balfore is coming to take back what is his. ::
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Scene Four: The Circles of Hell and All the People in it.
Krampus’s Castle.
:: Krampus was indeed up in his castle, waiting for me. However, I did not know what I would be going through to face him one on one. Therein lies the problem because within the castle I faced no opposition. There were no monsters, demons or threats of any kind. The castle was empty. I make it up to these two large stone doors and push them open with my godlike strength but as I do, the floor slips out from under me and enter a black void with nothing but Krampus’s hissing voice reaching out to me in the echo. ::
Krampus: Helllooo, O-din. So nice of you to drop in. So very nice indeed. Let’s play a game. You survive my gauntlet and maybe I will consider handing you back your son. You will experience the eternal damnation of not just yourself but of the WCF talent; since you still pride yourself to be a ‘professional wrestler.’ How do you expect to lead the people of WCF and the world if you yourself cannot overcome their own personal hell. First I’ll send you to the hell of that nice upstart team, Zero Tolerance. Whatever hell you describe is the one that you are destined to live out; your worst fear.
Odin Balfore: Zero Tolerance? The Juggalos? Whats their hell; a cramp room full of smelly neck beards that don’t wash their cloths or shower and they smell like shitty bodega weed, cigarettes and domino’s pizza?
:: The void around me began to reflect the hell that I was describing for my WAR opponents in a very literally sense. Fat smelly juggalos all locked in a room, fighting for air and the best painted face. Fucking. Tragic. ::
And they just spend all eternity crying about they arnt special but yet they are all family and they all hoot until their lungs bleed. Then they figure out that there aint no women and this hell, mother fucker, so they have watch all their fat ugly chain smoking loose poon gets smashed by big dicked mad men named Joey Flash until they are all forced to cut themselves, die and relive the very same existence? Yah, fuck that.
So you mean to tell me that a group of closely knit guys in the world of wrestling has never been done before? Hmm.. sounds like a group I was a part of when I joined WCF, DangerTainment. A word that is nearly outlawed in WCF. And them just like ZT are all just a bunch of whiny, crying bitches when they don’t get their way. This week, ZT won’t have it their way either but they can watch the beating unfold like this was the Domino’s pizza tracker. Funny though because the difference between that group of sweaty try hard faggots and DT is that no one in ZT will survive to outlast and outshine the group as a whole but I did rise above my group and become one of the greatest stars in WCF.
So these guys want to make it big in WCF, shake it up and take it over and why not, three dudes in face paint, that’s some OG storytelling that’s never been before. It is a living hell right now because the playing field is not as shallow as they think. I know guys like them, I used to be guys like them but then I grew up. The difference is as long as you wear your mothers lipstick and eye liner and talk about the uses of soda that’s only local to one state, you limit your options. Zero Tolerance is just one giant limited option in WCF. They are good for the midcard and nothing else. Crazy Jay, Jason Cash and Salem, guys that used to be big dudes in a small pond. Hell, Jason Cash, guys these two groups have more in common with one another than they think. Except they still don’t have me. That is the big defining difference. I am not here to watch their back at WAR, I am here to break it. I am here to pin them, eliminate them and dispose of them as if they were the original Dangertainment; nothings and nobodies. Because that’s what the ZT stable are.
Krampus: ss-ooooo.. you think you’re special ey’; you think your important. Well try this ell on for size. You were a rookie once and you know the pain and the rigors of debuting all too well. So why not live it all over again for eternity like the rest of the WCF rookies!
Odin Balfore: So rookies like Alex Winters, Cliff of Doom, Zoey Ryback, Jaice Wilds, Joe Smarts, Brain Paine and Adam Youngs friends? Them? Well history serves me right. Seven of the ten will be gone in three months. Most won’t even make it to WAR. They complain that people are not taking them serious. They complain that they are not legends yet. They complain that their time is now and the new era has stated.
This sounds familiar. It sounds familiar because everyone who signs a WCF contract says this without fail. Guys like the former world champion Gemini Battle and Thomas Bates say this still. They question their own ability and beg for their legacy to be handed to them on a silver plate. They, like the rookies do not wish to work hard for their accolades but rather sit around lazy and uninspired. To which this can be backtracked to the reason as to why I have returned in the first place. These rookies are cannon fodder to WAR Balfore Revenge Tour.
Wrestling is full of guys like Cliff of Doom who wanted to be wrestlers but couldn’t make the run. He settled down, became a teacher and then decided to give it a try. Well, wrestling is all or nothing and Cliff quiet literally is nothing. Same thing with the Real Deal “ My name Rhymes.” HAHAHA. Like that’s going to sell merch on the streets. The law man went to school long enough to learn about alliteration but not long enough to grasp sub contexts. He’s like Alex Winters, he’s a rookie that isn’t sure what he has but is damn sure going to fail at it. They all want gold but are not willing to work for it.
Then theres the Mary Sues of the world like Zoey Ryback who come to pro wrestling with a million and one martial arts black belts who’ve been trained by secret ninjas high up in the mountains of who gives a fuck whose favorite moves are impossible trick flips and the sting ray that killed Steve Erwin. And its always like the chick or dude is like five foot nothing, couldn’t weigh a hundred pounds if you hung a Wolkswagon around their neck but they are going to come in and start running the place. Let me tell you truthfully what is going to happen. People like Zoey, Adrian Archer, Cliff, Winters and The Real Deal, those fake ass wrestling tropes are going to get a very real, ultra non-fictionalized boot to the face and a fucking powerbomb for their troubles. Right out of WAR and right out of WCF.
Krampus: Well.. Shit.. What about guys like Deuce Murdock.. the work horses of WCF, surely --
Odin Balfore: Surely what? Surely as fuck I burnt that dude the fuck down on my way in here. Gonzo comes and goes like this is a college dorm safe space. But the only thing safe about WCF is that it’s a safe fucking bet that Gonzo is going to drop forty Kay in a NyQuill bottle. He be putting dudes to sleep thinking this shit was relevant character development. Murdock is going to walk into WAR have a flash back and run to the dairy section of Kroger and breast feed off a gallon of hood milk. That Ferry Man piece of shit gone have to deliver himself to the other side of the river Styx just to escape the verbal and physical beatdown I’m laying on him and even then- LOOK WHO CAN FUCKING CROSS TRANS-SPACIAL BOUNDRIES. Oh, and FUCK JAY OMEGA!
Then you have guys like Mikey Extreme and CJ Phoenix. Two rebellious mystery guys. If these guys want to rebel, they can hand me your pay checks because as long as your ‘rebelling’ against the system, you do not need the financing promise of that system. You dumb fucks. Former United States and current Alpha Champions. The only people that need to use the word alpha to define them are beta males, the lesser of the species. They talk about the Alpha Championship like it means something and yet its lower than the World, TV, Hardcore and even Internet when ZMAC holds it. So there is nothing to be proud of.
:: Krampus chuckles off in the void. ::
Krampus: Indeed, let us talk about ZMAC. Considering I know how close the two of you really are.
Odin Balfore: What; talk about how ZMAC rose up from nothing to something because he had the tactical advantage of people underestimating him. I know better than everyone else just how dangerous ZMAC can be. He doesn’t have a hell. But if you want to argue it, it would be that ZMAC isn’t one to follow a crowd. ZMAC is his own dude that I know for a fact that he wouldn’t want to be like everyone else. Unfortunately, for him, at WAR he’s going to be like everyone else. ZMAC and his buddy Kevin Bishop are going to be trapped in that ring, fighting off low brow scum like Zero-Tainment, CJ Pheonix, Lilth, Biohazard and Tyler Walker. The smaller fish will fight the bigger fish in a struggle for survival until the largest predator in WCF comes up on them. The WCF hopeful (read hopeless), countless small fish that are just raindrops, evaporating on the surface of the sun; instantly turning to steam in little microcosms of personal and emotional holocaust. Personal little heart breaks like that of Jake Winfield, Jay West, Vanquero, Bruno Armstrong and Steven Singh.
Honestly, the hell of being everyone else in WCF isn’t even a hell at this point. It is just a grim reality. A seven foot, three hundred pound, Nordic reality. There are roughly fifty guys in this WAR match, presumably and for ninety percent of them, its just filler for the ten stars in the match and myself; the inevitable winner. Drakkaine, Lennon, Guage. I would think that it would be tragic but I have never like that in my storied wrestling career. I have never been the weak, the unknown and the miscounted.
Krampus: Honestly now, it is not that bad. You make it sound as if you’re a one man Moghul horde.
Odin Balfore: I am. Odin Balfore IS WAR Balfore for a reason. You want to bring up the hell of being like everyone else, well there is a lot of fucking bodies to slog through which just fine with me; I might as well up my predicted WAR elimination count to hearty twenty. That’s right, Odin Balfore is going to eliminate nearly half of the entire entry list because of waste of time, talent and space like Drake Knight ( shit name bro), NOT ICE Beckman, Kandi Washington, Perro, craneo and yes even the fucking Hebrew Hammer. Because there is only one Jew that runs that Dub and that is Vincent Buddy Roman and if he wants to throw his name into the ring, then he better punch a ticket like daddy because this is a midnight run to connector city and that city.. is fucking death and damnation.
Krampus: Please, people are going to team up on you. The Champs alone could be enough to -
Odin Balfore: Tomohawk and Captain WCF; jokes. Some of the biggest punchlines in WCF. Tomohawk better get to Wyoming, I think he has a pipeline to protest and captain WCF’s only super power is sending pictures of small, flaccid dick picks to English girls who he thinks would be mildly impressed, spoilers: they weren’t. It is fine though, they can double team me. Triple team me if they half to. Get half the roster to try and pin me, I bench press planets in my spare time. Grim Butcher, Ciserano, Damien Kane, Skittles, Psychomp and ell, thrown in Spearman. Add their names to the list of guys that are going to show up and pretend like their doing something. Like the concerned mother in a circle of onlookers that are all gasping and crying while an alligator rips a toddler to pieces. ‘please lord, someone help!’ Yes. Help. Stop. Murder. They do so little it is laughable that they are even in this match. Again, they exist to pad to WAR stats. And let us not forget Adam Young and Doc Henry. The are the Original Gangsters of come in, add nothing of substance to the discussion and leave. Both of those dudes know exactly what that kind of hell is and they even had to invent their own title belts to try and escape the oppressive hell that I am about to bring upon them.
But I know, these are endearing figures in WCF; men of the people. Men like them, Teddy Blaze and Nightrider who all have become WCF staples who have gained respect for they are but in WAR, respect no one. Make friends with no one and crush all that get in your way. That is why Guys like Johnny Rabid and Twilight return. They see the easy targets and think that they can just line them up in the sun and bask in glory. There is no glory in that and Johnny Rabid who wanted to show up and take on Bates, if he is in WAR, he can practice on the genuine WCF Big Man.. and get crushed for his troubles.
Then you have recalls and re-treds like Logan, his boy, Roy Speed, D-Day- HAHAH everyone in this match is fucking D-Day. Slickie T, Wade Moor, Kaz Monstah, Dune- Fuckin Dune, Anyone who feels that they can collect a quick paycheck and leave on Sunday are going to find out that there is no way out of this match until I put them out of their misery. Really, the more people that are in this match, the better this is going to be for me. Throw sixty guys in the match and I’ll impose my law inside that ring. I’ll box around and beat up on everybody until guys actually quit the match and I’m awarded technical eliminations. If you wanna keep dragging me through hell, Krampus, and the hell of others make sure that, that ‘hell’ isn’t my return to the WCF ring. I will not be held back or held down by lesser men like you in my quest; so stop all these games and fight me like a man.
Krampus: Ineed, Balfore. Perhaps I will stop these games, but not today. No, I want you to earn this. I want you to deserve this. You are close to getting your son back, soooo close. However, I can see that WAR is going to be very interesting and I want you to slog through the monotony of your profession. Do not worry though, your son is saaayyy-fahh.. Relatively speaking. Now you have a stronger incentive to win WAR.
Odin Balfore: Why are you doing this?
Krampus: Revenge. Just like you and just like you I want my foe to be at their best. I want you to succeed. I want the greatest challenge from you. I want a reason. Alternatively, would you rather fight lesser men like Brain Paine and Cormac; what if they were world champion? There would be zero incentive for you to get off your throne of poon and slog your way through the foil of miscreants that plague the WCF. I wanted to crush you and see you broken but I gain no personal satisfaction from that if I do not do it by my own hands. Even you know that deep down but you do it for the greater good, as do I. It is just that good and evil are subjective terms. So wake up Balfore, for there is so much for to do.
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Scene Five: Woke and Ready for WARXV
:: An alarm clock wakes me with the pounding of a sledgehammer like haze. I awake to find myself in bed, still in my same cloths from the when I went to find Krampus. Getting out of bed, I head to the nearest window, looking around I notice that I am in a hotel room. Looking out my window I can see the New York Skyline, not far from the Garden. I must be in the Hotel Pennsylvania. I am just a stone throw away from my destiny, winning WAR Fifteen and setting the new elimination record. I could just close my eyes and see all of it now. My hand being raised at the end of the match, my name being announced over the loud speaker, full circle determination and recognition as my revenge tour beings on WCF. The path that I started on in twenty eleven will be complete because everything in life comes around again, so too will my destruction. I can tell the worth truthfully that this will not be for the weak minded or the faint of heart. I have not come back for ratings or ego. Krampus said that the great good can have many implications and connotations; connotations that I have used and worked ever since I started here in WCF.
No matter wins the world title at WAR, be it Thomas Bates or Corey Black, they will have to fight me at ONE. So they better cherish the little time that I allow them to have with the WCF World Title because at WAR Fifteen, Odin Balfore is back. As I understand it, Thomas Bates is a man who likes his accomplishments, he wears them like a badge of honor well after WAR, he gets to add ‘Lost the World title to Odin Balfore at ONE’. That is of course, if he can make it past Corey Black first. So to you Bates and the rest of sorry crew of WCF wanabe’s.. This is my triumphant return and with it, the triumphant return of the Wrestling Championship Federation. However, right now I need to make it to the Garden and get ready for the beginning of the rest of my career. ::
WAR
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Scene one: Reintroduction to the Inevitable
Hank Brown: Ladies and Gentlemen, Hank Brown here. I am here tonight in WCF studios with a WCF dot com podcast EXCULSIVE! That is right, I am the only one in WCF to get an in depth sit down interview with a WCF legend. With me now is former WCF world champion. He one half of the greatest Tag Team of all time and the best ‘big man’ in wrestling history. With me of course is the one and only Odin Balfore. Now Odin, do you want to reintroduce yourself to the WCF audience who may not be familiar with you and your work in WCF. I mean, a lot, a lot, has happened over the past couple of years and the name Odin Balfore has a lot of different connotations to it. Of course we have seen you recently in the King of the Deathmatch Tournament. So for those that may have seen it, can you elaborate on who you are and why it is that you are with me here today in the WCF studios.
Odin Balfore: Well Hank, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. I am a former two time WCF champion and I have been with WCF for six years. I am one of the longest contracted works that is still currently with the WCF. I know that a lot of people know me for my backstage roll in WCF but back when I was active I had a very notable run as world champion and one of the most successful runs as tag team champion with Bobby Cairo.
Hank Brown: Right, right. Now, can you take us back to two thousand and eleven because I personally feel as though there are a lot of similarities between then and now.
Odin Balfore: I actually touched upon this. I have to agree with you. Back then there was no leadership and the WCF world title was in transition. I then won the WCF championship, much to the ire of the entire locker room and I brought not only the title but also the company to a new level of recognition because of my talents. No one in the back liked it but it had to be done. It is just like where we are now. We have had transitional champions in WCF since before May and with every crowned WCF champion, they have faded, distorted and unremarkable title run. How can the company go anywhere when the World champion does not go anywhere, let alone take the WCF anywhere. It is supreme stagnation at its finest and WCF seems content with that. That is the difference between me and everyone else. I am not content with seeing WCF just sit and bob in the water until it gets tired and drowns. No one liked that I was carrying this company because I was not one of them. I was the ultimate outsider at the time and I still kind of am. Moreover, you know what, that is OK with me. I am not here to be anyone’s friend. I have not returned to WCF to hold hands and sing songs. I came to break backs and win WCF World Championships. It is focus and determination and everyone currently in WCF lacks that.
Hank Brown: Why; why do you think people lack that? What is missing in WCF currently?
Odin Balfore: I have said true leadership but it is also a will. No one is willing to do it. Sure, guys claim that they want it or that they can do it but we have not seen that. I have not seen that yet from anyone, we have had former WCF champions have a second go as World Champion in the past couple of months, and we see how that went.
Hank Brown: Oblivion and Jeff Purse.
Odin Balfore: Exactly. Oblivion has to drive harder than anyone in this company does because no one believes in him or takes him seriously. He had the title and he did not know what to do with it. Oblivion is like the kid that you pick last on soft ball and you stick him in the outfield and hope that he doesn’t screw up. Well, he screwed up. The ball came at him, he caught it and just looked at it. He may have even shit himself in surprise because after all these years, he did it. So here comes Jeff Purse to help him out and Purse takes the ball and tries to throw it to second. Stewart Slane then at least checks off the bases and holds it down. But there’s still Chaos in the group. So then, Gemini Battle gets an easy up at bat but that’s legged out by Bates. It is just a cluster fuck of ‘who’s on first’ and whose going to load the bases up for a home run to win the game. Battle had the title and handed it off to Bates. All of these champions are just lateral moves. Who is standing at the top of WCF as undisputed WCF World Champion; no one. For five months, there has not been a true champion, so I am going to change all that by winning WAR Fifteen and becoming the new number one contender for the WCF World title.
Bates and Battle, they are not main event guys. They are not skilled enough to make that tier of talent look good. I will tell you honestly and truthfully, they are like children playing pretend. They are like lovers playing house. Realistically, they just are not the guys for the job. And yah, they can hold up their chins and say that they did it. There are forty-seven unique WCF World Champions and a casual fan might be able to name ten. No one is going to remember these guys for what they did except for themselves. It is disgustingly shameful and sad that they are what WCF turned into. They should not have gotten out of midcard and they should not closing the show.
Hank Brown: So what do you think their problem is?
Odin Balfore: Battle tries too hard and Bates does not try hard enough. Battle thinks that because he is the weird guy that people are going to cheer for him. Truth of the matter is that WCF is filled with weird guys. Gemini Battles greatest accomplishment to date still is that he is friends with Thomas Bates and that they are in the DRG together. Never mind his title wins, never mind his Ultimate Showdown win and never mind his WAR eliminations record – which, I’m going to destroy this week. Battle eliminated six guys, Odin Balfore is going to eliminate ten plus. I’m going to pin at least ten guys and Battle is going to be one of them, I guarantee you that.
With Bates, he just assumes that because he is the ‘good guy’ that everyone just likes him by default. But all he has done was get two world title shots that he didn’t deserve. That is it; he is known for losing the majority of the time. Even from what we have seen from him recently, he is not trying to get over. He thinks that ‘Bates Boot’ is enough to carry an entire WCF career- it is not. Corey Black is mocking him right now and that is just pissing all over Bates at the moment. He – he has nothing. Like I said before, Bates is just the guy that is holding the strap down for me so me and Corey Black can finish our business.
Hank Brown: Well right now there is another WCF talent returning to the ring for WAR, Sarah Twilight. What are your thoughts on that? The General Manager of WCF put herself on the active roster so that quote: “Seth can run Slam and I can run WAR.”
Odin Balfore: I was in Seth’s office when something like that came down the pipeline but that’s now an official thing. Honestly, it is all based on her ego. I mean, she was in four segments the other week. So now like a couple of other people, she thinks that she came reactivate herself and pick up an easy win and continue to be the one dimensional character that she’s always been. She is going to harp so much on the ‘best female’ wrestler and ‘best female’ champion because she needs those defining features to boast about her less then stellar WCF career. Her last two matches in WCF were brutal losses to ZMAC and to Howie Black, who humiliated her so bad in that match that she quit the fed. I did not return to WCF to fear some redhead who needs constant satisfaction and gratification. Truthfully, no one does and they do not have a reason too. Her and people like her, need WAR to add to a slim list of accomplishments because they lack the substance that makes up a truly prolific career. Unlike her, I have a truly prolific career and my history making performance this week at WAR will only add to the legacy that I have forged for myself.
Hank Brown: You have been very vocal about all of that. Do you have any thoughts on the other champions in WCF at the moment.
Odin Balfore: I would say that is good to have new faces as champion but that they really are not pushing any envelops. We have CJ Anderson, those guys from Zero Tolerance and I am not impressed one bit.
Hank Brown: Do you think that they’ll make a jump for WAR?
Odin Balfore: They all might try. They would be foolish not to try but at the same token, they would be foolish to try just the same. You have to have the talent in the first place to be a big time player in WCF if you want to come out on top at WAR and these guys, like ninety-nine percent of the Dub just are not big time players.
Hank Brown: You talk about big time players, do you think we’ll get to see any other returns. Twilight is coming back, FPV is coming back for WAR. Any chance that we could see Johnny Fly, Wade Moor or even Jay Omega; since some past wrestlers have been seen on WCF.com’s fan forums.
Odin Balfore: Absolutely. I mean, WAR is being held in the most iconic venue in wrestling history. For someone to come back and win WAR at MSG would be a very big thing; except the only problem with that is that I am going walk out of WAR with history on my side. These guys that left, they left for a reason. I left because I was in the right place to do so. I spent the last few years of my career here and I walked away how I wanted. Not many people get to do that. Now, I get to walk back in the way I want and do what I want.
Hank Brown: Is Corey Black a factor in this?
Odin Balfore: It is a rivalry that both the World Title and the WCF need right now. All these guys in the Dub, returning to the Dub, thinking that they are just going to show up and do that impossible feat, they’re throwing weak game. They are going to walk out, tell their shitty story and leave. If they don’t win, we don’t hear from them again for another year. Me, I never left. I have been with WCF in some form from the beginning. I can see the state of the company from an objective view and it sucks. The company is in one of the worst ways that it can be in right now. If people who want to return or thinking about having a one off like Twilight, Fly, Flash, Moor and Omega need to get it through their heads that they are not what is best for business because they do not know the business the way that I do. I am dead set on eliminating ten people from the match and a lot of the former world champions will end up being eliminated by my hands. They all came for glory but they just got stuck in the shadow of the AllFather. They come for immortality but they stay become a statistic. I’ll tell you, I have I have been gone a long time and I have a lot of well-deserved beatings to hand out; from former champs to current champs to dudes who think that one day they could be champs. So War Fifteen will be a reintroduction to the inevitable; Odin Balfore being on top, being crowed the number one contender and going on to win ONE for the world title. That’s just the way that it is going to be.
Hank Brown: Alright, Odin, I want to thank you for your time. I think that’ll just about do it for this pod-- Ops. Guess not. It appears that we have call. Hello, you’re on the air with the Hank Brown Experience.
Caller: Yeeesss… Helll-oo. You don’t know who I am but Odin does. And I have a question. Odin, do you know where your son is? Well, do you? I know. I know where he is. He’s here with me. Hm…. Pitty. He had such a bright future ahead of him. Come find me Balfore. Come and find your son.
Odin Balfore: I want my son!
Caller: And I want my WAR!
*Click *
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Scene Two: The Thickness Ride Again
The Great Hall. Valhalla.
:: The Great Hall in Valhalla was infinitely big. There were many rooms, branching off from its man section and those rooms lead to other rooms, so on and the like. I had arrived at Valhalla as fast as I could. I needed to consult with Cairo regards my next course of action. I wanted Thor back but had no idea where Krampus was keeping him. Walking into the hall, I knew that Cairo was somewhere, being treated like a hero and he was. Towards the other end of the hall Cairo was setting on a thrown being feed beer out of a never ended beer horn and handfuls of grapes. As I approach he kicks his feet off the arm of the thrown and dusted his palms off. He stands up and greets me with open arms. Cairo is wearing a pair id expensive jeans, shoes and his Fenrir wolf coat; stupid fucking wolf. I’m glad he killed that thing; I really am.
Bobby Cairo: Odin! My Brotha, whats good, whats good? How is everything going?
Odin Balfore: Yo, on the real, shits catastrophic.
Bobby Cairo: I know! Mother fuckin government done did Harambe dirty. Fuckin Jane Goodall was all up on the grassy knoll. Dirty knee’d gootch all slimy with the unthick goo of free market enterprise.
:: Cairo looks up and around, cursing to the sky.::
Bobby Cairo: Bitch, I know it was you.
Odin Balfore: I, I don’t know who that is.
Bobby Cairo: Harambe; the second coming of Jam Willy in the flash to the earth. He done died fo’ yo’ sins. Fo’ everybody’s sins and they done waxed him for tryin a heal a childs stupidity. Shee-it. You just cant walk up into Gawds house like that N’ shit. Less’n you wanna get that piece straight rock’d six.
Odin Balfore: Well you know I’m down with Jam Willy no matter what but that’s not why I’m here. Thors been gone for a couple of months and I just heard that Krampus has him.
Bobby Cairo: Krampus? But we killed that mo’ fawk.
Odin Balfore: But clearly not enough to stay dead. But I think he did this on purpose. With you gone, and Thor out of the way, he knows I would make it back to the Dub.
Bobby Cairo: I saw that shit, you killin’ it.
Odin Balfore: So he’s trying to keep me out of WAR, figures I’d go find Thor and miss the event. Do me dirty twice.
Bobby Cairo: Fah real. You don’t evah do a many dirty twice. The only time you can do someone dirty, dirt-style, is if you fuck them in the ass then they forget that you fucked them in the ass so you do it again. Like you when you hit the Dub back in twenty eleven. You gone do it again. So I guess that means that Krampus don’t remember that solid ass whoopin we gave him last night. We sent him to hell but now we done have to send him right back. You gone kill it at WAR, my friend. I’m going to make sure of that. We gone get ya boy back and you gone get that number one contendership.
:: Cairo looks back at the women that were feeding him.::
Cairo: RiRi, get me my pistol. There gone be a lot of bitches about to get GOT up in here.
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Scene Three: Odin Goes to Hell (read WCF)
:: Mega Death booms out of the Beamer of Death. It is rule. It is law. Cairo and I cruise right on into hell. Fuck the tolls. We ride for free. Christian hell sucks. Its like a slightly more upscale version of Detroit except on fire…a lot of fire. Now, the Beamer of death was modified to withstand the rigors of trans-special travel; it’s the next step up from time travel. Like ten dudes got time machines, THE THICKNESS is the only ones that can go see gawd.. Or evil santa. But let’s face, those two are arguably one in the same at this point. We ride up to the gates of hell and whose there to greet up but John Candy himself; talkin all ‘sorry sir. Hells closed. The Arabs out front should have told you.’ Indeed there were droves of Arab men, all died by bombings and Jihad Justice. They be thinkin’ they’d be getting seventy-two virgins. Well they be right. Except anyone whose been with that V-poon knows that, that’s hell. Besides, heaven spelled backwards is Nevaeh. As in you broke Arab mo fucks aint evah getting into heaven and you aint evah tappin no poon.
We crash through the gate with the beamer of death and continue up this winding mountain path that leads into a large stone castle that sits in a lake of magma (it’s not lava yet kids, that’s called science). We cruise on up bumping that Mega Death so that Krampus knows that we’re coming for him but as we enter a wider part of the path extends out into a larger flat section we’re stopped by a gigantic beast. I take evasive action, firing my .60 cal hand cannon special at it but it has no affect. The damn thing is impervious to descriptive words. Fuck, I may have to shoot this thing after all. However, during my evasive action, the car flips over and we have to crawl out and fight the monster head on. Monster e THICK. Cairo is visibly pissed as peels off his own ruined fur coat. ::
Bobby Cairo: You go ahead. Home boy over here owes me a new coat.
:: Cairo bends down and pulls a straight razor from him boot. ::
Bobby Cairo: And I’mma get me that coat.
:: Cairo looks back at me while still keeping an eye on the monster. ::
Bobby Cairo: Nig, you got WAR to win, you don’t want to sit here and focus on this jibbah jabbah.
:: Cairo was right, the time for cheap pops and cameo appearances was over. I raced off towards Krampus castle, which might as well have been Madison Square Garden. This is going to test me on the level that WAR is going to test me. Except I know how to be both a leader and a father. I am the AllFather and I am about to get my son and WCF, two things that I created, back from the hands of the wretched that try and destroy what I created. Well that is not going to happen. To you, Krampus, and the current ‘stars’ of the WCF, Odin Balfore is coming to take back what is his. ::
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Scene Four: The Circles of Hell and All the People in it.
Krampus’s Castle.
:: Krampus was indeed up in his castle, waiting for me. However, I did not know what I would be going through to face him one on one. Therein lies the problem because within the castle I faced no opposition. There were no monsters, demons or threats of any kind. The castle was empty. I make it up to these two large stone doors and push them open with my godlike strength but as I do, the floor slips out from under me and enter a black void with nothing but Krampus’s hissing voice reaching out to me in the echo. ::
Krampus: Helllooo, O-din. So nice of you to drop in. So very nice indeed. Let’s play a game. You survive my gauntlet and maybe I will consider handing you back your son. You will experience the eternal damnation of not just yourself but of the WCF talent; since you still pride yourself to be a ‘professional wrestler.’ How do you expect to lead the people of WCF and the world if you yourself cannot overcome their own personal hell. First I’ll send you to the hell of that nice upstart team, Zero Tolerance. Whatever hell you describe is the one that you are destined to live out; your worst fear.
Odin Balfore: Zero Tolerance? The Juggalos? Whats their hell; a cramp room full of smelly neck beards that don’t wash their cloths or shower and they smell like shitty bodega weed, cigarettes and domino’s pizza?
:: The void around me began to reflect the hell that I was describing for my WAR opponents in a very literally sense. Fat smelly juggalos all locked in a room, fighting for air and the best painted face. Fucking. Tragic. ::
And they just spend all eternity crying about they arnt special but yet they are all family and they all hoot until their lungs bleed. Then they figure out that there aint no women and this hell, mother fucker, so they have watch all their fat ugly chain smoking loose poon gets smashed by big dicked mad men named Joey Flash until they are all forced to cut themselves, die and relive the very same existence? Yah, fuck that.
So you mean to tell me that a group of closely knit guys in the world of wrestling has never been done before? Hmm.. sounds like a group I was a part of when I joined WCF, DangerTainment. A word that is nearly outlawed in WCF. And them just like ZT are all just a bunch of whiny, crying bitches when they don’t get their way. This week, ZT won’t have it their way either but they can watch the beating unfold like this was the Domino’s pizza tracker. Funny though because the difference between that group of sweaty try hard faggots and DT is that no one in ZT will survive to outlast and outshine the group as a whole but I did rise above my group and become one of the greatest stars in WCF.
So these guys want to make it big in WCF, shake it up and take it over and why not, three dudes in face paint, that’s some OG storytelling that’s never been before. It is a living hell right now because the playing field is not as shallow as they think. I know guys like them, I used to be guys like them but then I grew up. The difference is as long as you wear your mothers lipstick and eye liner and talk about the uses of soda that’s only local to one state, you limit your options. Zero Tolerance is just one giant limited option in WCF. They are good for the midcard and nothing else. Crazy Jay, Jason Cash and Salem, guys that used to be big dudes in a small pond. Hell, Jason Cash, guys these two groups have more in common with one another than they think. Except they still don’t have me. That is the big defining difference. I am not here to watch their back at WAR, I am here to break it. I am here to pin them, eliminate them and dispose of them as if they were the original Dangertainment; nothings and nobodies. Because that’s what the ZT stable are.
Krampus: ss-ooooo.. you think you’re special ey’; you think your important. Well try this ell on for size. You were a rookie once and you know the pain and the rigors of debuting all too well. So why not live it all over again for eternity like the rest of the WCF rookies!
Odin Balfore: So rookies like Alex Winters, Cliff of Doom, Zoey Ryback, Jaice Wilds, Joe Smarts, Brain Paine and Adam Youngs friends? Them? Well history serves me right. Seven of the ten will be gone in three months. Most won’t even make it to WAR. They complain that people are not taking them serious. They complain that they are not legends yet. They complain that their time is now and the new era has stated.
This sounds familiar. It sounds familiar because everyone who signs a WCF contract says this without fail. Guys like the former world champion Gemini Battle and Thomas Bates say this still. They question their own ability and beg for their legacy to be handed to them on a silver plate. They, like the rookies do not wish to work hard for their accolades but rather sit around lazy and uninspired. To which this can be backtracked to the reason as to why I have returned in the first place. These rookies are cannon fodder to WAR Balfore Revenge Tour.
Wrestling is full of guys like Cliff of Doom who wanted to be wrestlers but couldn’t make the run. He settled down, became a teacher and then decided to give it a try. Well, wrestling is all or nothing and Cliff quiet literally is nothing. Same thing with the Real Deal “ My name Rhymes.” HAHAHA. Like that’s going to sell merch on the streets. The law man went to school long enough to learn about alliteration but not long enough to grasp sub contexts. He’s like Alex Winters, he’s a rookie that isn’t sure what he has but is damn sure going to fail at it. They all want gold but are not willing to work for it.
Then theres the Mary Sues of the world like Zoey Ryback who come to pro wrestling with a million and one martial arts black belts who’ve been trained by secret ninjas high up in the mountains of who gives a fuck whose favorite moves are impossible trick flips and the sting ray that killed Steve Erwin. And its always like the chick or dude is like five foot nothing, couldn’t weigh a hundred pounds if you hung a Wolkswagon around their neck but they are going to come in and start running the place. Let me tell you truthfully what is going to happen. People like Zoey, Adrian Archer, Cliff, Winters and The Real Deal, those fake ass wrestling tropes are going to get a very real, ultra non-fictionalized boot to the face and a fucking powerbomb for their troubles. Right out of WAR and right out of WCF.
Krampus: Well.. Shit.. What about guys like Deuce Murdock.. the work horses of WCF, surely --
Odin Balfore: Surely what? Surely as fuck I burnt that dude the fuck down on my way in here. Gonzo comes and goes like this is a college dorm safe space. But the only thing safe about WCF is that it’s a safe fucking bet that Gonzo is going to drop forty Kay in a NyQuill bottle. He be putting dudes to sleep thinking this shit was relevant character development. Murdock is going to walk into WAR have a flash back and run to the dairy section of Kroger and breast feed off a gallon of hood milk. That Ferry Man piece of shit gone have to deliver himself to the other side of the river Styx just to escape the verbal and physical beatdown I’m laying on him and even then- LOOK WHO CAN FUCKING CROSS TRANS-SPACIAL BOUNDRIES. Oh, and FUCK JAY OMEGA!
Then you have guys like Mikey Extreme and CJ Phoenix. Two rebellious mystery guys. If these guys want to rebel, they can hand me your pay checks because as long as your ‘rebelling’ against the system, you do not need the financing promise of that system. You dumb fucks. Former United States and current Alpha Champions. The only people that need to use the word alpha to define them are beta males, the lesser of the species. They talk about the Alpha Championship like it means something and yet its lower than the World, TV, Hardcore and even Internet when ZMAC holds it. So there is nothing to be proud of.
:: Krampus chuckles off in the void. ::
Krampus: Indeed, let us talk about ZMAC. Considering I know how close the two of you really are.
Odin Balfore: What; talk about how ZMAC rose up from nothing to something because he had the tactical advantage of people underestimating him. I know better than everyone else just how dangerous ZMAC can be. He doesn’t have a hell. But if you want to argue it, it would be that ZMAC isn’t one to follow a crowd. ZMAC is his own dude that I know for a fact that he wouldn’t want to be like everyone else. Unfortunately, for him, at WAR he’s going to be like everyone else. ZMAC and his buddy Kevin Bishop are going to be trapped in that ring, fighting off low brow scum like Zero-Tainment, CJ Pheonix, Lilth, Biohazard and Tyler Walker. The smaller fish will fight the bigger fish in a struggle for survival until the largest predator in WCF comes up on them. The WCF hopeful (read hopeless), countless small fish that are just raindrops, evaporating on the surface of the sun; instantly turning to steam in little microcosms of personal and emotional holocaust. Personal little heart breaks like that of Jake Winfield, Jay West, Vanquero, Bruno Armstrong and Steven Singh.
Honestly, the hell of being everyone else in WCF isn’t even a hell at this point. It is just a grim reality. A seven foot, three hundred pound, Nordic reality. There are roughly fifty guys in this WAR match, presumably and for ninety percent of them, its just filler for the ten stars in the match and myself; the inevitable winner. Drakkaine, Lennon, Guage. I would think that it would be tragic but I have never like that in my storied wrestling career. I have never been the weak, the unknown and the miscounted.
Krampus: Honestly now, it is not that bad. You make it sound as if you’re a one man Moghul horde.
Odin Balfore: I am. Odin Balfore IS WAR Balfore for a reason. You want to bring up the hell of being like everyone else, well there is a lot of fucking bodies to slog through which just fine with me; I might as well up my predicted WAR elimination count to hearty twenty. That’s right, Odin Balfore is going to eliminate nearly half of the entire entry list because of waste of time, talent and space like Drake Knight ( shit name bro), NOT ICE Beckman, Kandi Washington, Perro, craneo and yes even the fucking Hebrew Hammer. Because there is only one Jew that runs that Dub and that is Vincent Buddy Roman and if he wants to throw his name into the ring, then he better punch a ticket like daddy because this is a midnight run to connector city and that city.. is fucking death and damnation.
Krampus: Please, people are going to team up on you. The Champs alone could be enough to -
Odin Balfore: Tomohawk and Captain WCF; jokes. Some of the biggest punchlines in WCF. Tomohawk better get to Wyoming, I think he has a pipeline to protest and captain WCF’s only super power is sending pictures of small, flaccid dick picks to English girls who he thinks would be mildly impressed, spoilers: they weren’t. It is fine though, they can double team me. Triple team me if they half to. Get half the roster to try and pin me, I bench press planets in my spare time. Grim Butcher, Ciserano, Damien Kane, Skittles, Psychomp and ell, thrown in Spearman. Add their names to the list of guys that are going to show up and pretend like their doing something. Like the concerned mother in a circle of onlookers that are all gasping and crying while an alligator rips a toddler to pieces. ‘please lord, someone help!’ Yes. Help. Stop. Murder. They do so little it is laughable that they are even in this match. Again, they exist to pad to WAR stats. And let us not forget Adam Young and Doc Henry. The are the Original Gangsters of come in, add nothing of substance to the discussion and leave. Both of those dudes know exactly what that kind of hell is and they even had to invent their own title belts to try and escape the oppressive hell that I am about to bring upon them.
But I know, these are endearing figures in WCF; men of the people. Men like them, Teddy Blaze and Nightrider who all have become WCF staples who have gained respect for they are but in WAR, respect no one. Make friends with no one and crush all that get in your way. That is why Guys like Johnny Rabid and Twilight return. They see the easy targets and think that they can just line them up in the sun and bask in glory. There is no glory in that and Johnny Rabid who wanted to show up and take on Bates, if he is in WAR, he can practice on the genuine WCF Big Man.. and get crushed for his troubles.
Then you have recalls and re-treds like Logan, his boy, Roy Speed, D-Day- HAHAH everyone in this match is fucking D-Day. Slickie T, Wade Moor, Kaz Monstah, Dune- Fuckin Dune, Anyone who feels that they can collect a quick paycheck and leave on Sunday are going to find out that there is no way out of this match until I put them out of their misery. Really, the more people that are in this match, the better this is going to be for me. Throw sixty guys in the match and I’ll impose my law inside that ring. I’ll box around and beat up on everybody until guys actually quit the match and I’m awarded technical eliminations. If you wanna keep dragging me through hell, Krampus, and the hell of others make sure that, that ‘hell’ isn’t my return to the WCF ring. I will not be held back or held down by lesser men like you in my quest; so stop all these games and fight me like a man.
Krampus: Ineed, Balfore. Perhaps I will stop these games, but not today. No, I want you to earn this. I want you to deserve this. You are close to getting your son back, soooo close. However, I can see that WAR is going to be very interesting and I want you to slog through the monotony of your profession. Do not worry though, your son is saaayyy-fahh.. Relatively speaking. Now you have a stronger incentive to win WAR.
Odin Balfore: Why are you doing this?
Krampus: Revenge. Just like you and just like you I want my foe to be at their best. I want you to succeed. I want the greatest challenge from you. I want a reason. Alternatively, would you rather fight lesser men like Brain Paine and Cormac; what if they were world champion? There would be zero incentive for you to get off your throne of poon and slog your way through the foil of miscreants that plague the WCF. I wanted to crush you and see you broken but I gain no personal satisfaction from that if I do not do it by my own hands. Even you know that deep down but you do it for the greater good, as do I. It is just that good and evil are subjective terms. So wake up Balfore, for there is so much for to do.
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Scene Five: Woke and Ready for WARXV
:: An alarm clock wakes me with the pounding of a sledgehammer like haze. I awake to find myself in bed, still in my same cloths from the when I went to find Krampus. Getting out of bed, I head to the nearest window, looking around I notice that I am in a hotel room. Looking out my window I can see the New York Skyline, not far from the Garden. I must be in the Hotel Pennsylvania. I am just a stone throw away from my destiny, winning WAR Fifteen and setting the new elimination record. I could just close my eyes and see all of it now. My hand being raised at the end of the match, my name being announced over the loud speaker, full circle determination and recognition as my revenge tour beings on WCF. The path that I started on in twenty eleven will be complete because everything in life comes around again, so too will my destruction. I can tell the worth truthfully that this will not be for the weak minded or the faint of heart. I have not come back for ratings or ego. Krampus said that the great good can have many implications and connotations; connotations that I have used and worked ever since I started here in WCF.
No matter wins the world title at WAR, be it Thomas Bates or Corey Black, they will have to fight me at ONE. So they better cherish the little time that I allow them to have with the WCF World Title because at WAR Fifteen, Odin Balfore is back. As I understand it, Thomas Bates is a man who likes his accomplishments, he wears them like a badge of honor well after WAR, he gets to add ‘Lost the World title to Odin Balfore at ONE’. That is of course, if he can make it past Corey Black first. So to you Bates and the rest of sorry crew of WCF wanabe’s.. This is my triumphant return and with it, the triumphant return of the Wrestling Championship Federation. However, right now I need to make it to the Garden and get ready for the beginning of the rest of my career. ::
