Post by Odin Balfore on Sept 19, 2016 20:39:45 GMT -5
RP 1
WAR
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Scene One: A Loss of Words Finds a Cause
The Poon-cific Coast, Poonguinea
{ The masses of my great nation gathered and mourned the loss of their great leader, father and my mentor; Robert Hercules Cairo. She was a nation gripped by dejection, despair, misery and sorrow. The high priest Tupac, gave the sermon to the nation from the beach as the waves crashed over him and through him. However, I am not sure what was a sadder sight, seeing my mentors funeral barge being set on fire and drifting out to sea or the women both young and old throwing themselves off the cliff tops and into the sea. Some managed to crash into the boat and join my mentor in a fiery death by the others gave themselves to the waves.
Myself, I stood in his quarters in the Governor’s mansion. I surrounded myself with his essence because I know he would not want me to mourn as the nation does. It was my own way of carrying on and allowing his memory to live through me. He has taught me so much, gave me so much and while he was out there, fighting, promoting communism, laying down the law with his own brand of THICK justice, I was here. I cannot lie to anyone or myself that I feel the poison of guilt following through my veins. I could have done something but I failed to act. I could have been there; I could have fended off the filthy McMorris scum along with my Lord and my Allfather. I could have but for years they told me that I was not ready; that true THICKNESS comes not just from ones THICK but from their soul. It is not just a matter of saying the words, any heathen can say the words but it takes a true THICK to BE a true THICK. I often wondered when I would be ready, that very instance in my life has haunted my dreams ever since he left. Whenever, however, to whomever, I vowed to be ready. Moreover, today is that day. }
:: My fingertips dug deeply into the leather bound book that I was reading from, heart rate and breath were erratic and disjointed from the reality that I was living. My knuckles grew white as my voice grew strain, reading the last known enter into my sons journal. The wind whipped up behind me as lashed my back with invisible and painful truths. My black suit was of little defense to combat the matters of life that I was currently dealing with. My son has disappeared due to mysterious circumstances and has not been seen or heard from in quite some time. I feel like my feet are sinking deeper into the wet mire of sand and it was slowly dragging me down into the depth of my own personal hell. My best friend was gone and this was the goodbye to myself that a father never wants to say. This was a goodbye to my son. My son, who I don’t know where he is but can only assume that he is not among the living. Once again, Tupac conducted the service for yet another fallen hero of the great communist nation, MY nation. I could no longer sit by and allow my nation to be run by those who I felt better for the job. These thoughts flew by in my mind as I stepped aside so Tupac could continue the service and my mind could continue this most grievous of situations.
My mind began turning and churning up acidic thoughts. I allowed this to happen. I allowed my best friend and son to die. This was my fault, that I had gone soft. Internally I had gone back to when I left WCF in 2014. Back then I had left the company in good hands but it the situation is completely different. Everything is completely different. Now there is a shallow pool of talent and on top of there is wave after wave of transitional champion. If I was in any other profession I might be ashamed of what my mind of brining up yet I am a professional wrestler and I have and always will live and breathe professional wrestling. I owe it to myself. I owe it to Cairo and I owe it to my son, Thor. In addition, I owe it to WCF to come back and be the champion that the WCF deserves. People like Gemini Battle and Thomas Bates. These guys were nothing when I was there, hell, Bates was not even in the company when I left. So right now WCF is being led by a year one rookie who still does not know who he is. Same thing with Gemini Battle who won the Ultimate Showdown to turn around and lose it to Bates then gains the Bates TV title that he pretty much threw in the trash. It makes my blood boil. I cannot even just sit back and shake my head. I have to do something this. I will do something about this. I am going to return to the WCF and do everything I can in my power to once again WIN the WCF Championship. On the shores of my great nation, I make a solemn vow to go back to WCF and capture the WCF championship yet again.. The same way I did it the first time. ::
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Scene Two: Sweet Prince
MAVERICK MAD Industries. Undisclosed Location.
MEANWHILE BACK AT THE LEGION OF DOOM….
:: MAVERICK, the alternate universe version of Odin Balfore (and MAD scientist), sat at his large bank of monitors with his lab coat on and his white Adidas’s kicked up on the front console. He is slurping obnoxiously at a milk shake and streaming every episode of Step by Step at once, trying to consume every bit of nostalgic 90’s entertainment for his next nefarious plan. He is well settled into his 96 hour marathon when he is interrupted by a classic 90’s cordless brick-esque phones. He pops a few M&M’s in his mouth, crunching on them while talking ::
MAVERICK: MAVERICK MAD Industries.
:: The voice on the phone is booming. It is loud and clear as if the person on the other end was right there in room. The voice spoke with a calm and charismatic hiss that invited ears to listen more closely and bathe in every syllable. ::
Voice: MAAVVV-RIIICKK
:: Slithered the voice, drawing out its importance. ::
MAVERICK: Mr. K, Sir. Ho-how are you?
Mr. K: Goood. Goood. Howevahhh, this is not a sooocial call. I have a job for you.
:: MAVERICK looks at all his monitors and takes a slurp of his strawberry milkshake. ::
MAVERICK: Well, I don’t know. I – I have a lot of work to do. I am hot on the trail of this universe. Did you know that the show Family Matters and Step by Step have some of the same interior shots. And that Steve Urkel appeared on an episode of Step by Step. Now here me out but I feel that Step by Step exists in a universe without a concept of miscegenation But then when Urkel becomes Stephan by use of his time machine, he destroyed that perfect anglo utop-
Mr. K: Will you shut up! This is bigger than your Saturday morning cartoon shows. I finally came up with a new plan on how we can take down your oafish other half. It seems as though THE THICKNESS is more now that Cairo has died. In this there is a divide. It would seem that Odin has a son, that he recently became close with but that young boy was very close to Cairo and is not taking his death in stride. Balfore is a house divided and we can get him to bend to our will. Also, knowing Balfore, he’ll want to head back to wrestling as a means to cope with his situation. He will want to win WAR and if we can take him off his game and keep him distracted then I will win twice. Balfore will have lost everything!
MAVERICK: So what do you propose?
Mr. K: I want Thor. He is an Atlantean Prince and that is enough to cause further tensions between Odin and the Atlanteans which are already on a fault. The only problem is that the boy is not yet corrupted. If he dies, he will go to Valhalla and he will be with his mentor. However, if he kills himself, that is another matter entirely. I propose and we make it look like a suicide.
:: MAVERICK responds with a eureka moment. ::
MAVERICK: I got it! I’ll use the natural division between Odin Balfore and Atlantean to further the grief of Thor and make him contemplate suicide! I’ll create a serum that reacts to his Atlantean biology and causes him to go into cardiac arrest.
Mr. K: No. We neeed… sssss’thing bigger. Much bigger.. Something more painful.
* click *
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Scene Three: (Un)Welcome Home
Governors Jet, somewhere over the pacific.
:: I am grateful for my size. I am grateful for the fact that I can afford to outfit the Governors jet to accommodate my physical needs. I have an entire section in private compartment of the jet with my own private amenities. I do not and have not traveled like the rest of WCF in quite some time. I own this jet; I own a country. This is no Econ-NO-CLASS, sixty dollars a day to get a beat up ford Taurus with cigar burns and rubbed in puke. This jet costs more than all the salaries of WCF combined. The suit that I am wearing costs more than the collective fortunes of those who call themselves WCF superstars; men and women that do not have an ounce of knowledge on what it is like to be a world champion. Even the world champion himself.
Sitting in my hand crafted chair, big enough for three full grown men, I looked out the window and watched the clouds in the night sky pass by me, rather I passed by them. I always pass by them just as I did in WCF six years ago. I passed right by them. I was and still am better than they are, the WCF collective. The more I think about it, the more I feel my return to WCF is exactly like my debut, my dominant, unprecedented, glorious, debut. Back then, like now, there is no undisputed WCF
Champion. There is not because I can sit here on a plane over the pacific ocean and question men like Thomas Bates, Gemini Battle and Stuart Slane. I can extend my my doubts all the way back prior to the Mexico Incident. If Bates, Battle or any of the previous champions were ‘great,’ ‘good’ or even passable, then I would not be here. If I, Odin Balfore have to question the skills and integrity of the current WCF Champion, then he should not be WCF champion.
WCF has a leadership problem and it had such a problem for a very long time now, longer than what ninety-nine percent of WCF could even remember. Corey Black knows what I am talking about; it is pitiful. We WANT to leave WCF to capable hands and yet we know that will never happen. From the front lines to behind the scenes, we have whiteness men come into WCF that could carry WCF into another glorious year, but those men are too far and very few between.
That brings us to where we are now. Corey Black returns to active and WCF is treated to a sample of my in ring capabilities. I would not have to do that if someone, anyone in WCF could step up and be a real and true CHAMPION. So I am going to talk about that. I am going to speak at length about what it means to be a champion. Right, now, what I am doing. I am concerned with the longevity and survivability of WCF. Always have and always will. It comes to no surprise to me that my motivations are exactly the same this time around. Last time I came into WCF because there was no leader and I crowned myself. Then everyone was up in arms because I, I household name, a name that was been all over the world, came into their shithole fed and burned that shit to the ground. The worst part about it is that no one could understand why. Why was Odin Balfore coming into WCF and not sucking the dicks of Donald Deruty and Jay Williams? Because that is not how things in wrestling are done. When two little goldfish are in a puddle it is easy to flop around and call it success. It is hard and scary when you go from a tank to a pond and then to the ocean of talent that I turned WCF into. Now it has reverted back to that small, insignificant puddle. Come WAR, the ocean will return with Ragnarok. I will return WCF to its former glory because I am the only one that knows how it.
Right now Thomas Bates is flipping through a scrapbook and pages of old notes that were handed down from his daddy and his granddaddy before him. He is trying to figure out what I am saying and how he is somehow NOT everything that I am telling the world that he is. He is going to bring up the legacy and hand me pictures that prove it; how this is in his blood and yet Thomas Bates has never bled for WCF. I bled for WCF. Thomas Bates has never fought for WCF. I fought for WCF. Everyone thought I was being selfish when I set out on my quest back in twenty eleven but Thomas Bates, just as Gemini Battle, is selfish. They are entitled. They are entitled without a title, without a cover, pages, words or even an author. They are forgotten whispers on the wind so to them that makes them important. It does not.
At WAR Fifteen, I will be their author. I will not just create a new chapter in WCF history, I am going to create a new book. At War, I will make sure that Thomas Bates, Gemini Battle and the rest of the WCF all bleed. Their blood, the blood of the ungrateful WCF talent will be the ink as I pen the first chapter in WCFs brand new history. Bates and Gemini are both followers, despite what Bates might want the world to believe, he is a follower. He follows in my ever consuming shadow, one that he will never escape from. He created the DRG and strung along lesser men like Deuce Murdock, Gemini Battle and Danny Anderson. It is humorous in a sad way because you can tell the kind of man a person is by the company that he keeps. Two of those men are gone now and Gemini Battle is such ‘hard fighting’ champion that he declines his rematch. Those of the kind of men that are in the WCF ‘main event’ scene. Those men have done absolutely nothing in WCF and will continue to do nothing in WCF. That’s where I come in. At WAR Fifteen, Odin Balfore is going to make them regret ever stepping up into the World title picture when I win WAR and become the number one contender for the WCF Championship.::
::Amid my thoughts and precise strikes against you, WCF, one of the flight crew and trusted advisor, Cyrus, approached me with some important news. ::
Cyrus: My AllFather, we have received news from the Atlantians, they have not heard from your son in quiet some time; although he apparently spoke to them last. Thor has become a ghost, he is off the radar, sir.
:: I stroke my chin deep in thought. ::
Odin Balfore: Has he reached Valhalla yet?
Cyrus: Our contacts in Valhalla have no record of his arrival. AllFather, if the worst has indeed happened, Thor could be lost somewhere and has not reached his final destination in the mead halls. Shall we continue forth with contingency Steel Reserve?
Odin Balfore: We shall proceed. I will go to Valhalla myself and get to the bottom of this egregious situation. If anything has happened to Thor then WCF will bear the brunt of my wrath when I capture War Fifteen and the right to battle for MY World Championship at ONE; be it Corey Black or Thomas Bates. My glory and honor shall be restored.
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Scene Four: Atlantean ManHunter
:: It took MAVERICK a few days to track Thor down MAVERICK tracked him down to America. Thor went to America to find himself and sow any oats that he may have had. His trip was one of self-discovery, to find himself and to see if he had what it takes to lead the greatest communist nation in the world. Thor was at the Corondo Beach resort in California. MAVERICK was able to gain entry to Thors room. Inside Thor was passed out from a binge of alcohol, drugs and easy women. The hotel room is trashed and in disrepair as the Atlantean slept on top of a pile of blankets. MAVERICK crept in the room with his lab coat, slacks and white Adidas. He pulls a syringe out of his coat pocket and injects the Atlantean giant with an unknown substance. The substance makes Thor roll over with a guttural groan and sweat profusely. The Atlantean’s tough skin quickly healed over showing no signs of an injection. Thor rolls off the bed and continues to groan in pain. MAVERICK smiles and laughs to himself as he caps off the syringe and slips it back into his pocket before heading back towards the door. ::
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Scene Five: The Villain Returns
Seth’s Office, WCF HQ. Reading, PA.
:: Seth’s office has gone through some changes since the last time I was in there. He added a window behind his desk that looks out onto the Reading skyline. The ways were painted an off-white color, almost cream like. The bookcases that lined either side of the room had been taken out in strategic places for a large globe and a display cases for the respective WCF Champions. His desk was a dark cherry wood instead of a more traditional oak and his swivel chair was now heavily padded, executive type. The two chairs in front of his desk had not changed, which meant that I am still too big to properly sit in them; so I will be standing for the duration of our conversation. Seth sits at his desk, overlooking the Reading skyline as he sips at a glass of whiskey on the rocks. He periodically sips and swirls the glass in his right hand to savor the aroma of finely aged whiskey. I can see his reflection in the window, his eyes shift from looking at the town to looking at me through my reflection. ::
Seth Lerch: Odin, it is good to see you again off the tour schedule. It has been some time since you’ve been up here in my office.
Odin Balfore: I know, I noticed the changes; must have cost a lot. Between this and the talent scouting that you have been doing, I cannot imagine that the bottom line is doing well. Moreover, Twilight as General Manager of Slam is going to cost you on salary alone, not to mention the implications.
Seth Lerch: I know that you did not come here to question my general manager choice or remark on the fine state of my private office. Shannon told me that you had import things to discuss and if it is in regards to the books, I do not read them. I have top men for that Odin; you should know that.
Odin Balfore: I do know about that and let us talk about that. Let us speak openly regarding your choice of top men in WCF. Let us speak as though there were no other ears in this room because there are only mine and only mine. Now, we have known each other for a long time so we can be frank regarding these matters; matters that ultimately affect your bottom dollar as the president and chairman of WCF.
Seth Lerch: Odin, you are one of my more valued associates and in ring attractions, I will tell you truthfully and semi-drunkenly that you have my undivided attention.
:: Seth takes an exaggerated sip of whiskey. ::
Seth Lerch: Whiskey excluded, of course.
Odin Balfore: Seth, the Mexico Incident has brought the company tremendous hardship. You have had to reach down deep into the talent pool in order to try and hand pick the best wrestlers that were still here to lead the company. Now, this may be hard for you to hear but that has not worked out well.. at all. From Oblivion who reaches niche markets to Jeff Purse who can appeal to a wide range to Scout Master who can do the same but those men are not leaders. They have shown that they are not leaders and they have left an enormous hole not only in the main event scene and the title scene but also in the overall leadership role of WCF.
You’re desperate Seth. You are so desperate that you had Gemini Battle win the Ultimate Showdown and that backfired in your face. Mainly because Gemini Battle is not charismatic enough or engaging enough to hold the WCF World Championship but also in the fact that he lacks motivation. He gave up his rematch for the world title against Bates for Jam Willy’s sake. Bates is another thing all together. I get your mindset for him being champion but the guy just does not connect. You tried this experiment with him before and it went nowhere. He also lacks the charisma and the grit to be WCF Champion. I do not care how long his family has been in this business or how many titles he has won prior to WCF; the simple truth is that Thomas Bates is not fit to be WCF Champion. Thomas Bates is mousy. He is nothing more than a ten-year-old boy in a grown man’s body trying to be me. Scratch that, Obese Mr. Rogers is trying to win over WCF with his good guy routine but also at the same time wants to be the biggest, baddest dog in the yard.
Seth Lerch: I know, that is why Bates is going to have a match against Corey Black at WAR.
Odin Balfore: So do you honestly think that is going to fix your world title problem? The quick answer is Corey Black hands down, yes but no one thinks for a moment that Thomas Bates is going to hand CD anything other than his slippers and a diet coke before prancing off into the kitchen to cook CD his dinner. Thomas Bates has been and always will be a little bitch and that is bad news for WCF. So for the sake of this being your only move you put CD against Bates.CD, who is arguably the best talent in WCF against Thomas Bates. The Burning Hammer is one of the most dominant finishers in WCF history and what; Thomas Bates is just going to shrug that off? You know that he is going to try. Nevertheless, do you know what else; Bates has completely lucked into this situation because you have nobody else. Bates does not sell tickets, he does not sell merch, and he exists only in his own little mind. No one recognizes him as a top guy, certainly not me. I’m not glad for him that he can ride around on a motor cycle and has a couple of weak ass jobbers carry his bags for him, Gemini being one of them. He might be a big guy but he’s only a big thing to himself and his mother. WCF needs a leader, not Spanky from the little rascals who found a fucking poke-E-man card to put in the spoke of his big wheel. It is not only a lack of leadership but of main event level talent that can propel WCF into another year and after Mexico, such things are sorely needed.
Seth Lerch: All right, Balfore; what do you propose?
Odin Balfore: I propose that you reactivate my talent contract and put me back on the main roster. There are too many scrubs and nobodies running around thinking that they are the next big thing when honestly I never left. Too many guys think their hardcore, tough or evil. A lot of guys think that they are the bad man in WCF but there has been and only will be one Villain of the Story. Moreover, to that end, there is only one hero, Corey Black. I am going into WAR Fifteen. I am not asking, I’m not requesting; I am doing it. Whether or not you active my talent contract is irrelevant to that point. Unfortunately for you, Seth, you had your time to fix what was wrong with this company; now I am going to fix it for you. I am going to enter WAR, march through every single person on the roster, win the whole damn thing. Then finally, Seth, when the debt collects call, you can answer with a smile on your face because you’ll actually be making money.
Even better, I’ll put it in terms that all of WCF can understand: The Biggest, strongest, and most dominating WCF champion is returning at WAR Fifteen and Ragnarok will be there in my wake. This whole WAR situation reminds of an eerily similar situation back in twenty eleven. Oddly enough it was Revenge, twenty eleven. Back then, it was the same as it is now. Back then there were no leaders in WCF, just guys, children, little boys on parade playing pretend; playing pretend because they cannot do. Seth I took on CD for leadership in this company because he knew all the way back then that he was the only guy that could stop me. Ten years in WCF and WCF was not even a household name until I made it a house hold name. No one in WCF was famous until I made it famous. Dozens of guys came from around the world to challenge and fight Odin Balfore and for eight long months I held each and every talent on that roster down with my boot on their neck.
As it is now, they all sat around in a circle, jerking themselves off and going absolutely nowhere. Guys like Slane, Chambers, Battle and even Thomas Bates, doing things for self-appointed and undeserved ego. Now guys like the Butcher see moronic things like that and feel that cheap imitation will bring them the glory that they seek. If only they pretend, if only they believe hard enough, it can happen to them. Donald Deruty, D-Day, thought like that. I broke his spine. Johnny Reb thought like that, and then he took up a hospital bed right next to D-Day. I have a very storied history of separating the wheat from the chaff. it begins with a culling. Some of you are simply dead wood. Husks that stagnate this business with your presence. You will be the first to undergo reeducation. Your destruction will not be glorious, it will not be remembered. But it is necessary. For the likes of Archer and Crazy J, Ragnarok holds nothing but death. Simply a passing. But that's how it starts, with the small and the weak. Truth be told, you’re all weak. If you were not, I would not be here. I would not be like the great sage and communist leader, walking out of the wilderness and down the mountainside to abolish the ghosts and the evils that UN-THICK capitalism bring. It brings mediocrity and petty, unpolished and unproven children to the land of giants. WCF is the land of giants because of what I did for it. Odin Balfore made WCF famous. I put WCF on the world wide map, no longer hidden and fog and surrender by legends of sea monsters that would chase you off the boards of the globe. And life was good for a couple of years. I was able to retire in peace and on my terms.
Now, everything has come full circle and the weak inherit WCF like insects. Insects that need to be eradicated. I have sat and watched and watched and waited and saw all the inequities and failures from world champion after world champion. Men, whose greatest accomplishments are signing on the dotted line or defeating X Y and Z last year but have done nothing of substance and merit since. This is what happens when half the roster leaves and are casted aside as ‘drunken fools’ by the current ‘champion.’ Bates is no champion; he is just the man keeping my WCF title warm on an equally broad shoulder. That’s all Bates is, a leather stretcher. That’s all WCF is as I walk into WAR Fifteen; a place holder and a warm up.
‘ When the guys that you protect for year after year leave.. You’re left with men like Donald Deruty till someone like me happens along, knows and sees what’s going on and takes the necessary measures to fix it and make this a great company again. ‘
I said that six years ago and six years into the future, here we are again and I am saying the same damn thing. But the WCF might be asking who Donald Deruty is. Well.. just go look in a mirror. You’re all D-Day, on the inside. You’re all men who claim to have beaten better men and that’s all you can do. From Guys like Gem and Crazy J who jump up and down over Zombie McMorris, to Bates with Dune. No one is above that, not even Corey Black who will tell you at every chance he gets that HE is the one that ended eight months of Odin Balfore dominance. Corey Black will tell you how he overcame the odds against the Nordic Tank, asterisk, with help*. And trust me when I tell you, WCF, Corey Black needed that help. He needed that help in the worst way any of you could imagine. Unfortunately, for all of you WCF hopefuls out there, such help does not exist in WAR. No, in WAR, only one thing is assured.. My complete and utter dominance. Just the same as I dominated six years ago. So while all of you beg and plead and try to convince me about your skills and your talents and the tenth hole punch you got at the fro-yo stand, I .. applaud you.
I applaud you because I pitty you. Because I am not you. Because I have never bragged about the men I beat. I brag about the company I crippled. I brag about the company I dragged down the street like a sick dog until I found an appropriate place to put it out of its misery. Its shitty, old guard, misery. I know that a lot of you may consider me part of that old guard but that’s because you’re all to stupid and ignorant to realize that I am what the old guard fought against. I am exactly what the guys like you, here, now, in the present fought against six years ago because my mere existence made you feel threatened and scared. As it does now. As guys like Butcher and Dion Necurat and Tomohawk realize that any hopes and dreams that had at greatness when out the window the moment I walked back in WCF’s front door. Even those Zero Tolerance Bastards took one look at me and realized that they were old skool fucked. Under the bleachers, by a one man football team. And them, without any lube. It is alright, you’re collective tears make it so much more enjoyable for me. I know that they’re all thinking that they’ll just gang up on me, use the buddy system and overcome the odds. Yah, that sounds like a plan.
:: I shake my head as that sad state of affairs. ::
Buddies drown all the time. Many a ‘great’ have gone down with all its crew. There might be some honor in that and truly, that is a glorious way to justify your demise at the hands of Odin Balfore, The All Father. It is a good way to justify the deaths of all WCF. Men and Women who think themselves to be the unsinkable ship that survived near disaster a couple of short months ago have come across yet another peril in the conflict of WAR, this Civil War of who gets to be champion and how to lead this company. Again, it is a fine way to rationalize what is about to happen to you WCF. But this, this is just like six years ago. You’re not combatants. You are contestants. You are not sports entertainers, you’re reenactors. You’re just filling in the roles that are left blank from time.
Only, Odin Balfore hasn’t changed. The reasons have stayed the same and the drive is stronger than ever. I am going to enter WAR and I am going to powerbomb every.single.mother.fucking.one.of.you. Until my hand is raised and the match is over and Seth is begging for me to stop killing his so called ‘talent’; that I’ve already won. But you are not talent, you’re practice. You’re the pre-game. You’re the example for Corey Black to look at to know that like back then, he’s fucked. But not as fucked as ALL.OF.YOU.
And it IS epic.
So I have spoken, so it shall come to pass.
Seth Lerch: I like it, I love it, print it, we’re doing business. Oh God, this is going to be awesome.
:: Seth stands up from his chair and turns to shake my hand and that’s when I notice that he is wearing a leather vest. ::
Odin Balfore: DRG Juniors?
::Seth looks around nervously for a moment, trying to come up with a quick explanation.::
Odin Balfore: And why is there dirt and grass stains on it?
Seth Lerch: Bates.. he ah’… gave me a souvenir as a token of his appreciation for becoming the locker room leader. He told me the Juniors were the prospect club.
Odin Balfore: So why is it dirty?
Seth Lerch: My, um, niece was in here earlier and I was letting her run around the courtyard with it. Then we took pictures. Honestly, Balfore, I have a life outside of WCF and my crippling social alcoholism.
:: Seth takes another sip of his whiskey. ::
Seth Lerch: And by crippling social alcoholism I mean inspiring social mobility. For instance, did you know that every drunk loves the song ‘Don’t Stop Believing?’
:: Just then Shannon Lerch comes over Seth’s intercom.::
Shannon Lerch: Seth, Sarah Twilight is here to see you regarding WAR; shall I send her up?
:: Seth glances over to me again with a nervous laugh before pushing down the intercom button and replying to Shannon. ::
Seth Lerch: No. I am still in a meeting. Have her wait in the lobby until I am ready for her.
:: He looks at me again, trying to come up another explanation. ::
Seth Lerch: Come on, Balfore, she’s the on air GM, she needs to know my plans for the Pay Per View. Besides there is talk that, that may not be the bbest role for her so we are going to reactivate her.
Odin Balfore: I will tell you truthfully; if she enters WAR ten she is just like everyone else. In fact, she is worse than everyone else is because she above all others feels as though she is entitled to things that she did not earn due to her lack of balls both in and out of the ring. Her entire gimmick is that she is better than everyone else except the last time she was in the ring, she got bent over and molested inside of the ring. You see, her problem is the same problem that Corey has. He only wants to come back when the competition is low. Except with Corey, he has a track record of leading this company. With Twilight, she brought WCF to the ground because you allowed her to book her own matches. Her match with Eric Price at ONE a couple years back was hands down the worst match in that Pay Per Views history. She is here because she feels that this is going to be an easy win, it won’t. Not that it will not be easy; it won’t be a win. WAR Fifteen is not the year that Twilight gets to walk back in as General Manager and win the contendership so that she can piss it away to Lilith or something. I am not about to let that happen.
This is my revenge tour, the second coming of the most dominant World Champion in recent memory. I am not going to hold back against her and if I see her in that ring, she is going to go through it. I will break her in half and it with, all of her dreams of becoming the number one contender. That is how petty and feeble she is. That’s how we all know how insecure she is. She needs to be GM, she needs to win WAR, she needs to win the World Title and she needs to play the “I’m better than you” card. Without her one-dimensional gimmick, she is nothing. Just like Bates, the current one-dimensional world champion that we already have.
You know what, her entry is fine; it is just another body that I get to destroy on my way to winning WAR and then winning the World title. I will end her fucking career with one swat. Her and any other returning talent. Surtr’s Revenge is going to fucking clean house of all these undeserving mother fuckers who think that they can stand toe to toe with me. Let them try, I’ll just break the elimination record while I’m at it. Imagine it Seth, it will not be too hard considering the fact that in a few short days it is going to be reality. Odin Balfore, WAR Fifteen winner, holder of the WAR elimination record and NEW number one contender for the WCF Championship, asterisk. It is a formality on a Corey Black, Weeping Death technicality, as I should be the WCF Champion after my legendary WAR performance.
Twilight brings up a good point, after what happened on Slam and Joey Flash returning to WCF, I know that you and I are thinking along the same lines and someone like me or Flash need to be in control of the world title to see the company through into the next year. Truly, Flash wants to return for the same sake that Twilight wants to come back. It is an easy win and easy out to say that he went and won WAR. Bravo. Allow me to applaud that, for the simple minded mono-directional thought process that it encompasses. Joey Flash has come back and will come back to serve the purpose of finding the bottom of my boot heels. I am going to be this guys worst nightmare in that fucking ring. I am going to remind this guy why he left in the first damn place. Mexico is nothing compared to what I did back in twenty eleven and they will both fail to compare to what I am going to go rolling into the next year. I am literally going to break this guy apart and serve him up on chips and make some Dago salsa. Make it look and taste soo good his grandmother will be doing the Mexican hat dance at his funeral in appreciate for all the good that I have done for the family when this becomes Joey Flashes first and final stop on the ‘Joey Flash: Odin Balfore just wrecked my shit, tour,’ tour.
Honestly, Seth. The War record is seven, I can easily wreck ten, twelve, fifteen of these low level scrubs. Adam Young and his Friends, The New Breed; They are like the Cleveland Browns, already mathematically out of WAR because I eliminated them, just now. That is five right there. Where are you going to put me? One, thirty? Fuck it, I’ll drag chumps back from the locker room, roll them into the ring and powerbomb them for the pin just to get a couple more. I know that everyone has ‘a lot to say’ but that is just whispers in a wind tunnel. You are looking at the WAR winner and new WAR elimination record holder. Guys like Joe Smarts, Shane Washington and Lester Parrish are all cannon fodder, grains of sand; insignificant nothings that I will dispatch with great vengeance and furious anger. A lot of people think that they have the scoop but you and I know what is really going to go down on Sunday. Because I am going to strike first and I am going to strike hard, harder than what anyone could predict or imagine. Everyone thinks that I am washed up or past my prime but my prime is just getting started. And no one could have predicted that Odin Balfore would return to WCF from a two year hiatus and win WAR in the most dominating fashion then anyone before.
I know that a lot of people think that it is hard to predict what others are going to say in WAR, but I know. I heard it in every WAR I have been in and I heard it when you weren’t here running the show. Everyone thought they had the secret plan to take out Odin Balfore, to rid WCF of the great evil, the Cancer, but in the end they all failed. They all failed because they were thinking small. They were all thinking about what WCF could do for them rather than what they could do for WCF.
To Save it or kill it, to those guys, same as the guys in the match this week; those are small words. They mean nothing. Just like when someone says that they hate spinach or love pizza. They have an obtuse gut reaction to something minuscule and try to relate it to my master plan. When they say that they hate Odin Balfore, they don’t. They are just jealous that I am able to articulate and formulate a plan that is capable of actually accomplishing something. They, like Twilight, wish that they could be me and think with a higher purpose in life because all they have in WCF is the scraps of ghosts; the scraps of ghost of the better men who came before them.
This grand delusion is all that Twilight and the rest of WCF have. This is what keeps them up at night. It is what keeps them going. Like when dad goes to the store for milk and was stuck in traffic, for twenty years. He is never coming back but still they hold out hope that one day he’ll walk through that door with the milk, a puppy and the winning lottery ticket. They hope and dream that they never have to eat the government cheese ever again. Then they wake up. Twilight and the WCF wake up in one giant collective conscious. They wake up to the grim realization that Odin Balfore has returned and there is nothing that any of them can do to stop me from creating history and winning WAR and there is nothing that anyone in this match can do to stop me. Because They are not at WAR, Odin Balfore is, and everyone else is just.. a casualty.The Villain of the Story has returned
WAR
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Scene One: A Loss of Words Finds a Cause
The Poon-cific Coast, Poonguinea
{ The masses of my great nation gathered and mourned the loss of their great leader, father and my mentor; Robert Hercules Cairo. She was a nation gripped by dejection, despair, misery and sorrow. The high priest Tupac, gave the sermon to the nation from the beach as the waves crashed over him and through him. However, I am not sure what was a sadder sight, seeing my mentors funeral barge being set on fire and drifting out to sea or the women both young and old throwing themselves off the cliff tops and into the sea. Some managed to crash into the boat and join my mentor in a fiery death by the others gave themselves to the waves.
Myself, I stood in his quarters in the Governor’s mansion. I surrounded myself with his essence because I know he would not want me to mourn as the nation does. It was my own way of carrying on and allowing his memory to live through me. He has taught me so much, gave me so much and while he was out there, fighting, promoting communism, laying down the law with his own brand of THICK justice, I was here. I cannot lie to anyone or myself that I feel the poison of guilt following through my veins. I could have done something but I failed to act. I could have been there; I could have fended off the filthy McMorris scum along with my Lord and my Allfather. I could have but for years they told me that I was not ready; that true THICKNESS comes not just from ones THICK but from their soul. It is not just a matter of saying the words, any heathen can say the words but it takes a true THICK to BE a true THICK. I often wondered when I would be ready, that very instance in my life has haunted my dreams ever since he left. Whenever, however, to whomever, I vowed to be ready. Moreover, today is that day. }
:: My fingertips dug deeply into the leather bound book that I was reading from, heart rate and breath were erratic and disjointed from the reality that I was living. My knuckles grew white as my voice grew strain, reading the last known enter into my sons journal. The wind whipped up behind me as lashed my back with invisible and painful truths. My black suit was of little defense to combat the matters of life that I was currently dealing with. My son has disappeared due to mysterious circumstances and has not been seen or heard from in quite some time. I feel like my feet are sinking deeper into the wet mire of sand and it was slowly dragging me down into the depth of my own personal hell. My best friend was gone and this was the goodbye to myself that a father never wants to say. This was a goodbye to my son. My son, who I don’t know where he is but can only assume that he is not among the living. Once again, Tupac conducted the service for yet another fallen hero of the great communist nation, MY nation. I could no longer sit by and allow my nation to be run by those who I felt better for the job. These thoughts flew by in my mind as I stepped aside so Tupac could continue the service and my mind could continue this most grievous of situations.
My mind began turning and churning up acidic thoughts. I allowed this to happen. I allowed my best friend and son to die. This was my fault, that I had gone soft. Internally I had gone back to when I left WCF in 2014. Back then I had left the company in good hands but it the situation is completely different. Everything is completely different. Now there is a shallow pool of talent and on top of there is wave after wave of transitional champion. If I was in any other profession I might be ashamed of what my mind of brining up yet I am a professional wrestler and I have and always will live and breathe professional wrestling. I owe it to myself. I owe it to Cairo and I owe it to my son, Thor. In addition, I owe it to WCF to come back and be the champion that the WCF deserves. People like Gemini Battle and Thomas Bates. These guys were nothing when I was there, hell, Bates was not even in the company when I left. So right now WCF is being led by a year one rookie who still does not know who he is. Same thing with Gemini Battle who won the Ultimate Showdown to turn around and lose it to Bates then gains the Bates TV title that he pretty much threw in the trash. It makes my blood boil. I cannot even just sit back and shake my head. I have to do something this. I will do something about this. I am going to return to the WCF and do everything I can in my power to once again WIN the WCF Championship. On the shores of my great nation, I make a solemn vow to go back to WCF and capture the WCF championship yet again.. The same way I did it the first time. ::
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Scene Two: Sweet Prince
MAVERICK MAD Industries. Undisclosed Location.
MEANWHILE BACK AT THE LEGION OF DOOM….
:: MAVERICK, the alternate universe version of Odin Balfore (and MAD scientist), sat at his large bank of monitors with his lab coat on and his white Adidas’s kicked up on the front console. He is slurping obnoxiously at a milk shake and streaming every episode of Step by Step at once, trying to consume every bit of nostalgic 90’s entertainment for his next nefarious plan. He is well settled into his 96 hour marathon when he is interrupted by a classic 90’s cordless brick-esque phones. He pops a few M&M’s in his mouth, crunching on them while talking ::
MAVERICK: MAVERICK MAD Industries.
:: The voice on the phone is booming. It is loud and clear as if the person on the other end was right there in room. The voice spoke with a calm and charismatic hiss that invited ears to listen more closely and bathe in every syllable. ::
Voice: MAAVVV-RIIICKK
:: Slithered the voice, drawing out its importance. ::
MAVERICK: Mr. K, Sir. Ho-how are you?
Mr. K: Goood. Goood. Howevahhh, this is not a sooocial call. I have a job for you.
:: MAVERICK looks at all his monitors and takes a slurp of his strawberry milkshake. ::
MAVERICK: Well, I don’t know. I – I have a lot of work to do. I am hot on the trail of this universe. Did you know that the show Family Matters and Step by Step have some of the same interior shots. And that Steve Urkel appeared on an episode of Step by Step. Now here me out but I feel that Step by Step exists in a universe without a concept of miscegenation But then when Urkel becomes Stephan by use of his time machine, he destroyed that perfect anglo utop-
Mr. K: Will you shut up! This is bigger than your Saturday morning cartoon shows. I finally came up with a new plan on how we can take down your oafish other half. It seems as though THE THICKNESS is more now that Cairo has died. In this there is a divide. It would seem that Odin has a son, that he recently became close with but that young boy was very close to Cairo and is not taking his death in stride. Balfore is a house divided and we can get him to bend to our will. Also, knowing Balfore, he’ll want to head back to wrestling as a means to cope with his situation. He will want to win WAR and if we can take him off his game and keep him distracted then I will win twice. Balfore will have lost everything!
MAVERICK: So what do you propose?
Mr. K: I want Thor. He is an Atlantean Prince and that is enough to cause further tensions between Odin and the Atlanteans which are already on a fault. The only problem is that the boy is not yet corrupted. If he dies, he will go to Valhalla and he will be with his mentor. However, if he kills himself, that is another matter entirely. I propose and we make it look like a suicide.
:: MAVERICK responds with a eureka moment. ::
MAVERICK: I got it! I’ll use the natural division between Odin Balfore and Atlantean to further the grief of Thor and make him contemplate suicide! I’ll create a serum that reacts to his Atlantean biology and causes him to go into cardiac arrest.
Mr. K: No. We neeed… sssss’thing bigger. Much bigger.. Something more painful.
* click *
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Scene Three: (Un)Welcome Home
Governors Jet, somewhere over the pacific.
:: I am grateful for my size. I am grateful for the fact that I can afford to outfit the Governors jet to accommodate my physical needs. I have an entire section in private compartment of the jet with my own private amenities. I do not and have not traveled like the rest of WCF in quite some time. I own this jet; I own a country. This is no Econ-NO-CLASS, sixty dollars a day to get a beat up ford Taurus with cigar burns and rubbed in puke. This jet costs more than all the salaries of WCF combined. The suit that I am wearing costs more than the collective fortunes of those who call themselves WCF superstars; men and women that do not have an ounce of knowledge on what it is like to be a world champion. Even the world champion himself.
Sitting in my hand crafted chair, big enough for three full grown men, I looked out the window and watched the clouds in the night sky pass by me, rather I passed by them. I always pass by them just as I did in WCF six years ago. I passed right by them. I was and still am better than they are, the WCF collective. The more I think about it, the more I feel my return to WCF is exactly like my debut, my dominant, unprecedented, glorious, debut. Back then, like now, there is no undisputed WCF
Champion. There is not because I can sit here on a plane over the pacific ocean and question men like Thomas Bates, Gemini Battle and Stuart Slane. I can extend my my doubts all the way back prior to the Mexico Incident. If Bates, Battle or any of the previous champions were ‘great,’ ‘good’ or even passable, then I would not be here. If I, Odin Balfore have to question the skills and integrity of the current WCF Champion, then he should not be WCF champion.
WCF has a leadership problem and it had such a problem for a very long time now, longer than what ninety-nine percent of WCF could even remember. Corey Black knows what I am talking about; it is pitiful. We WANT to leave WCF to capable hands and yet we know that will never happen. From the front lines to behind the scenes, we have whiteness men come into WCF that could carry WCF into another glorious year, but those men are too far and very few between.
That brings us to where we are now. Corey Black returns to active and WCF is treated to a sample of my in ring capabilities. I would not have to do that if someone, anyone in WCF could step up and be a real and true CHAMPION. So I am going to talk about that. I am going to speak at length about what it means to be a champion. Right, now, what I am doing. I am concerned with the longevity and survivability of WCF. Always have and always will. It comes to no surprise to me that my motivations are exactly the same this time around. Last time I came into WCF because there was no leader and I crowned myself. Then everyone was up in arms because I, I household name, a name that was been all over the world, came into their shithole fed and burned that shit to the ground. The worst part about it is that no one could understand why. Why was Odin Balfore coming into WCF and not sucking the dicks of Donald Deruty and Jay Williams? Because that is not how things in wrestling are done. When two little goldfish are in a puddle it is easy to flop around and call it success. It is hard and scary when you go from a tank to a pond and then to the ocean of talent that I turned WCF into. Now it has reverted back to that small, insignificant puddle. Come WAR, the ocean will return with Ragnarok. I will return WCF to its former glory because I am the only one that knows how it.
Right now Thomas Bates is flipping through a scrapbook and pages of old notes that were handed down from his daddy and his granddaddy before him. He is trying to figure out what I am saying and how he is somehow NOT everything that I am telling the world that he is. He is going to bring up the legacy and hand me pictures that prove it; how this is in his blood and yet Thomas Bates has never bled for WCF. I bled for WCF. Thomas Bates has never fought for WCF. I fought for WCF. Everyone thought I was being selfish when I set out on my quest back in twenty eleven but Thomas Bates, just as Gemini Battle, is selfish. They are entitled. They are entitled without a title, without a cover, pages, words or even an author. They are forgotten whispers on the wind so to them that makes them important. It does not.
At WAR Fifteen, I will be their author. I will not just create a new chapter in WCF history, I am going to create a new book. At War, I will make sure that Thomas Bates, Gemini Battle and the rest of the WCF all bleed. Their blood, the blood of the ungrateful WCF talent will be the ink as I pen the first chapter in WCFs brand new history. Bates and Gemini are both followers, despite what Bates might want the world to believe, he is a follower. He follows in my ever consuming shadow, one that he will never escape from. He created the DRG and strung along lesser men like Deuce Murdock, Gemini Battle and Danny Anderson. It is humorous in a sad way because you can tell the kind of man a person is by the company that he keeps. Two of those men are gone now and Gemini Battle is such ‘hard fighting’ champion that he declines his rematch. Those of the kind of men that are in the WCF ‘main event’ scene. Those men have done absolutely nothing in WCF and will continue to do nothing in WCF. That’s where I come in. At WAR Fifteen, Odin Balfore is going to make them regret ever stepping up into the World title picture when I win WAR and become the number one contender for the WCF Championship.::
::Amid my thoughts and precise strikes against you, WCF, one of the flight crew and trusted advisor, Cyrus, approached me with some important news. ::
Cyrus: My AllFather, we have received news from the Atlantians, they have not heard from your son in quiet some time; although he apparently spoke to them last. Thor has become a ghost, he is off the radar, sir.
:: I stroke my chin deep in thought. ::
Odin Balfore: Has he reached Valhalla yet?
Cyrus: Our contacts in Valhalla have no record of his arrival. AllFather, if the worst has indeed happened, Thor could be lost somewhere and has not reached his final destination in the mead halls. Shall we continue forth with contingency Steel Reserve?
Odin Balfore: We shall proceed. I will go to Valhalla myself and get to the bottom of this egregious situation. If anything has happened to Thor then WCF will bear the brunt of my wrath when I capture War Fifteen and the right to battle for MY World Championship at ONE; be it Corey Black or Thomas Bates. My glory and honor shall be restored.
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Scene Four: Atlantean ManHunter
:: It took MAVERICK a few days to track Thor down MAVERICK tracked him down to America. Thor went to America to find himself and sow any oats that he may have had. His trip was one of self-discovery, to find himself and to see if he had what it takes to lead the greatest communist nation in the world. Thor was at the Corondo Beach resort in California. MAVERICK was able to gain entry to Thors room. Inside Thor was passed out from a binge of alcohol, drugs and easy women. The hotel room is trashed and in disrepair as the Atlantean slept on top of a pile of blankets. MAVERICK crept in the room with his lab coat, slacks and white Adidas. He pulls a syringe out of his coat pocket and injects the Atlantean giant with an unknown substance. The substance makes Thor roll over with a guttural groan and sweat profusely. The Atlantean’s tough skin quickly healed over showing no signs of an injection. Thor rolls off the bed and continues to groan in pain. MAVERICK smiles and laughs to himself as he caps off the syringe and slips it back into his pocket before heading back towards the door. ::
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Scene Five: The Villain Returns
Seth’s Office, WCF HQ. Reading, PA.
:: Seth’s office has gone through some changes since the last time I was in there. He added a window behind his desk that looks out onto the Reading skyline. The ways were painted an off-white color, almost cream like. The bookcases that lined either side of the room had been taken out in strategic places for a large globe and a display cases for the respective WCF Champions. His desk was a dark cherry wood instead of a more traditional oak and his swivel chair was now heavily padded, executive type. The two chairs in front of his desk had not changed, which meant that I am still too big to properly sit in them; so I will be standing for the duration of our conversation. Seth sits at his desk, overlooking the Reading skyline as he sips at a glass of whiskey on the rocks. He periodically sips and swirls the glass in his right hand to savor the aroma of finely aged whiskey. I can see his reflection in the window, his eyes shift from looking at the town to looking at me through my reflection. ::
Seth Lerch: Odin, it is good to see you again off the tour schedule. It has been some time since you’ve been up here in my office.
Odin Balfore: I know, I noticed the changes; must have cost a lot. Between this and the talent scouting that you have been doing, I cannot imagine that the bottom line is doing well. Moreover, Twilight as General Manager of Slam is going to cost you on salary alone, not to mention the implications.
Seth Lerch: I know that you did not come here to question my general manager choice or remark on the fine state of my private office. Shannon told me that you had import things to discuss and if it is in regards to the books, I do not read them. I have top men for that Odin; you should know that.
Odin Balfore: I do know about that and let us talk about that. Let us speak openly regarding your choice of top men in WCF. Let us speak as though there were no other ears in this room because there are only mine and only mine. Now, we have known each other for a long time so we can be frank regarding these matters; matters that ultimately affect your bottom dollar as the president and chairman of WCF.
Seth Lerch: Odin, you are one of my more valued associates and in ring attractions, I will tell you truthfully and semi-drunkenly that you have my undivided attention.
:: Seth takes an exaggerated sip of whiskey. ::
Seth Lerch: Whiskey excluded, of course.
Odin Balfore: Seth, the Mexico Incident has brought the company tremendous hardship. You have had to reach down deep into the talent pool in order to try and hand pick the best wrestlers that were still here to lead the company. Now, this may be hard for you to hear but that has not worked out well.. at all. From Oblivion who reaches niche markets to Jeff Purse who can appeal to a wide range to Scout Master who can do the same but those men are not leaders. They have shown that they are not leaders and they have left an enormous hole not only in the main event scene and the title scene but also in the overall leadership role of WCF.
You’re desperate Seth. You are so desperate that you had Gemini Battle win the Ultimate Showdown and that backfired in your face. Mainly because Gemini Battle is not charismatic enough or engaging enough to hold the WCF World Championship but also in the fact that he lacks motivation. He gave up his rematch for the world title against Bates for Jam Willy’s sake. Bates is another thing all together. I get your mindset for him being champion but the guy just does not connect. You tried this experiment with him before and it went nowhere. He also lacks the charisma and the grit to be WCF Champion. I do not care how long his family has been in this business or how many titles he has won prior to WCF; the simple truth is that Thomas Bates is not fit to be WCF Champion. Thomas Bates is mousy. He is nothing more than a ten-year-old boy in a grown man’s body trying to be me. Scratch that, Obese Mr. Rogers is trying to win over WCF with his good guy routine but also at the same time wants to be the biggest, baddest dog in the yard.
Seth Lerch: I know, that is why Bates is going to have a match against Corey Black at WAR.
Odin Balfore: So do you honestly think that is going to fix your world title problem? The quick answer is Corey Black hands down, yes but no one thinks for a moment that Thomas Bates is going to hand CD anything other than his slippers and a diet coke before prancing off into the kitchen to cook CD his dinner. Thomas Bates has been and always will be a little bitch and that is bad news for WCF. So for the sake of this being your only move you put CD against Bates.CD, who is arguably the best talent in WCF against Thomas Bates. The Burning Hammer is one of the most dominant finishers in WCF history and what; Thomas Bates is just going to shrug that off? You know that he is going to try. Nevertheless, do you know what else; Bates has completely lucked into this situation because you have nobody else. Bates does not sell tickets, he does not sell merch, and he exists only in his own little mind. No one recognizes him as a top guy, certainly not me. I’m not glad for him that he can ride around on a motor cycle and has a couple of weak ass jobbers carry his bags for him, Gemini being one of them. He might be a big guy but he’s only a big thing to himself and his mother. WCF needs a leader, not Spanky from the little rascals who found a fucking poke-E-man card to put in the spoke of his big wheel. It is not only a lack of leadership but of main event level talent that can propel WCF into another year and after Mexico, such things are sorely needed.
Seth Lerch: All right, Balfore; what do you propose?
Odin Balfore: I propose that you reactivate my talent contract and put me back on the main roster. There are too many scrubs and nobodies running around thinking that they are the next big thing when honestly I never left. Too many guys think their hardcore, tough or evil. A lot of guys think that they are the bad man in WCF but there has been and only will be one Villain of the Story. Moreover, to that end, there is only one hero, Corey Black. I am going into WAR Fifteen. I am not asking, I’m not requesting; I am doing it. Whether or not you active my talent contract is irrelevant to that point. Unfortunately for you, Seth, you had your time to fix what was wrong with this company; now I am going to fix it for you. I am going to enter WAR, march through every single person on the roster, win the whole damn thing. Then finally, Seth, when the debt collects call, you can answer with a smile on your face because you’ll actually be making money.
Even better, I’ll put it in terms that all of WCF can understand: The Biggest, strongest, and most dominating WCF champion is returning at WAR Fifteen and Ragnarok will be there in my wake. This whole WAR situation reminds of an eerily similar situation back in twenty eleven. Oddly enough it was Revenge, twenty eleven. Back then, it was the same as it is now. Back then there were no leaders in WCF, just guys, children, little boys on parade playing pretend; playing pretend because they cannot do. Seth I took on CD for leadership in this company because he knew all the way back then that he was the only guy that could stop me. Ten years in WCF and WCF was not even a household name until I made it a house hold name. No one in WCF was famous until I made it famous. Dozens of guys came from around the world to challenge and fight Odin Balfore and for eight long months I held each and every talent on that roster down with my boot on their neck.
As it is now, they all sat around in a circle, jerking themselves off and going absolutely nowhere. Guys like Slane, Chambers, Battle and even Thomas Bates, doing things for self-appointed and undeserved ego. Now guys like the Butcher see moronic things like that and feel that cheap imitation will bring them the glory that they seek. If only they pretend, if only they believe hard enough, it can happen to them. Donald Deruty, D-Day, thought like that. I broke his spine. Johnny Reb thought like that, and then he took up a hospital bed right next to D-Day. I have a very storied history of separating the wheat from the chaff. it begins with a culling. Some of you are simply dead wood. Husks that stagnate this business with your presence. You will be the first to undergo reeducation. Your destruction will not be glorious, it will not be remembered. But it is necessary. For the likes of Archer and Crazy J, Ragnarok holds nothing but death. Simply a passing. But that's how it starts, with the small and the weak. Truth be told, you’re all weak. If you were not, I would not be here. I would not be like the great sage and communist leader, walking out of the wilderness and down the mountainside to abolish the ghosts and the evils that UN-THICK capitalism bring. It brings mediocrity and petty, unpolished and unproven children to the land of giants. WCF is the land of giants because of what I did for it. Odin Balfore made WCF famous. I put WCF on the world wide map, no longer hidden and fog and surrender by legends of sea monsters that would chase you off the boards of the globe. And life was good for a couple of years. I was able to retire in peace and on my terms.
Now, everything has come full circle and the weak inherit WCF like insects. Insects that need to be eradicated. I have sat and watched and watched and waited and saw all the inequities and failures from world champion after world champion. Men, whose greatest accomplishments are signing on the dotted line or defeating X Y and Z last year but have done nothing of substance and merit since. This is what happens when half the roster leaves and are casted aside as ‘drunken fools’ by the current ‘champion.’ Bates is no champion; he is just the man keeping my WCF title warm on an equally broad shoulder. That’s all Bates is, a leather stretcher. That’s all WCF is as I walk into WAR Fifteen; a place holder and a warm up.
‘ When the guys that you protect for year after year leave.. You’re left with men like Donald Deruty till someone like me happens along, knows and sees what’s going on and takes the necessary measures to fix it and make this a great company again. ‘
I said that six years ago and six years into the future, here we are again and I am saying the same damn thing. But the WCF might be asking who Donald Deruty is. Well.. just go look in a mirror. You’re all D-Day, on the inside. You’re all men who claim to have beaten better men and that’s all you can do. From Guys like Gem and Crazy J who jump up and down over Zombie McMorris, to Bates with Dune. No one is above that, not even Corey Black who will tell you at every chance he gets that HE is the one that ended eight months of Odin Balfore dominance. Corey Black will tell you how he overcame the odds against the Nordic Tank, asterisk, with help*. And trust me when I tell you, WCF, Corey Black needed that help. He needed that help in the worst way any of you could imagine. Unfortunately, for all of you WCF hopefuls out there, such help does not exist in WAR. No, in WAR, only one thing is assured.. My complete and utter dominance. Just the same as I dominated six years ago. So while all of you beg and plead and try to convince me about your skills and your talents and the tenth hole punch you got at the fro-yo stand, I .. applaud you.
I applaud you because I pitty you. Because I am not you. Because I have never bragged about the men I beat. I brag about the company I crippled. I brag about the company I dragged down the street like a sick dog until I found an appropriate place to put it out of its misery. Its shitty, old guard, misery. I know that a lot of you may consider me part of that old guard but that’s because you’re all to stupid and ignorant to realize that I am what the old guard fought against. I am exactly what the guys like you, here, now, in the present fought against six years ago because my mere existence made you feel threatened and scared. As it does now. As guys like Butcher and Dion Necurat and Tomohawk realize that any hopes and dreams that had at greatness when out the window the moment I walked back in WCF’s front door. Even those Zero Tolerance Bastards took one look at me and realized that they were old skool fucked. Under the bleachers, by a one man football team. And them, without any lube. It is alright, you’re collective tears make it so much more enjoyable for me. I know that they’re all thinking that they’ll just gang up on me, use the buddy system and overcome the odds. Yah, that sounds like a plan.
:: I shake my head as that sad state of affairs. ::
Buddies drown all the time. Many a ‘great’ have gone down with all its crew. There might be some honor in that and truly, that is a glorious way to justify your demise at the hands of Odin Balfore, The All Father. It is a good way to justify the deaths of all WCF. Men and Women who think themselves to be the unsinkable ship that survived near disaster a couple of short months ago have come across yet another peril in the conflict of WAR, this Civil War of who gets to be champion and how to lead this company. Again, it is a fine way to rationalize what is about to happen to you WCF. But this, this is just like six years ago. You’re not combatants. You are contestants. You are not sports entertainers, you’re reenactors. You’re just filling in the roles that are left blank from time.
Only, Odin Balfore hasn’t changed. The reasons have stayed the same and the drive is stronger than ever. I am going to enter WAR and I am going to powerbomb every.single.mother.fucking.one.of.you. Until my hand is raised and the match is over and Seth is begging for me to stop killing his so called ‘talent’; that I’ve already won. But you are not talent, you’re practice. You’re the pre-game. You’re the example for Corey Black to look at to know that like back then, he’s fucked. But not as fucked as ALL.OF.YOU.
And it IS epic.
So I have spoken, so it shall come to pass.
Seth Lerch: I like it, I love it, print it, we’re doing business. Oh God, this is going to be awesome.
:: Seth stands up from his chair and turns to shake my hand and that’s when I notice that he is wearing a leather vest. ::
Odin Balfore: DRG Juniors?
::Seth looks around nervously for a moment, trying to come up with a quick explanation.::
Odin Balfore: And why is there dirt and grass stains on it?
Seth Lerch: Bates.. he ah’… gave me a souvenir as a token of his appreciation for becoming the locker room leader. He told me the Juniors were the prospect club.
Odin Balfore: So why is it dirty?
Seth Lerch: My, um, niece was in here earlier and I was letting her run around the courtyard with it. Then we took pictures. Honestly, Balfore, I have a life outside of WCF and my crippling social alcoholism.
:: Seth takes another sip of his whiskey. ::
Seth Lerch: And by crippling social alcoholism I mean inspiring social mobility. For instance, did you know that every drunk loves the song ‘Don’t Stop Believing?’
:: Just then Shannon Lerch comes over Seth’s intercom.::
Shannon Lerch: Seth, Sarah Twilight is here to see you regarding WAR; shall I send her up?
:: Seth glances over to me again with a nervous laugh before pushing down the intercom button and replying to Shannon. ::
Seth Lerch: No. I am still in a meeting. Have her wait in the lobby until I am ready for her.
:: He looks at me again, trying to come up another explanation. ::
Seth Lerch: Come on, Balfore, she’s the on air GM, she needs to know my plans for the Pay Per View. Besides there is talk that, that may not be the bbest role for her so we are going to reactivate her.
Odin Balfore: I will tell you truthfully; if she enters WAR ten she is just like everyone else. In fact, she is worse than everyone else is because she above all others feels as though she is entitled to things that she did not earn due to her lack of balls both in and out of the ring. Her entire gimmick is that she is better than everyone else except the last time she was in the ring, she got bent over and molested inside of the ring. You see, her problem is the same problem that Corey has. He only wants to come back when the competition is low. Except with Corey, he has a track record of leading this company. With Twilight, she brought WCF to the ground because you allowed her to book her own matches. Her match with Eric Price at ONE a couple years back was hands down the worst match in that Pay Per Views history. She is here because she feels that this is going to be an easy win, it won’t. Not that it will not be easy; it won’t be a win. WAR Fifteen is not the year that Twilight gets to walk back in as General Manager and win the contendership so that she can piss it away to Lilith or something. I am not about to let that happen.
This is my revenge tour, the second coming of the most dominant World Champion in recent memory. I am not going to hold back against her and if I see her in that ring, she is going to go through it. I will break her in half and it with, all of her dreams of becoming the number one contender. That is how petty and feeble she is. That’s how we all know how insecure she is. She needs to be GM, she needs to win WAR, she needs to win the World Title and she needs to play the “I’m better than you” card. Without her one-dimensional gimmick, she is nothing. Just like Bates, the current one-dimensional world champion that we already have.
You know what, her entry is fine; it is just another body that I get to destroy on my way to winning WAR and then winning the World title. I will end her fucking career with one swat. Her and any other returning talent. Surtr’s Revenge is going to fucking clean house of all these undeserving mother fuckers who think that they can stand toe to toe with me. Let them try, I’ll just break the elimination record while I’m at it. Imagine it Seth, it will not be too hard considering the fact that in a few short days it is going to be reality. Odin Balfore, WAR Fifteen winner, holder of the WAR elimination record and NEW number one contender for the WCF Championship, asterisk. It is a formality on a Corey Black, Weeping Death technicality, as I should be the WCF Champion after my legendary WAR performance.
Twilight brings up a good point, after what happened on Slam and Joey Flash returning to WCF, I know that you and I are thinking along the same lines and someone like me or Flash need to be in control of the world title to see the company through into the next year. Truly, Flash wants to return for the same sake that Twilight wants to come back. It is an easy win and easy out to say that he went and won WAR. Bravo. Allow me to applaud that, for the simple minded mono-directional thought process that it encompasses. Joey Flash has come back and will come back to serve the purpose of finding the bottom of my boot heels. I am going to be this guys worst nightmare in that fucking ring. I am going to remind this guy why he left in the first damn place. Mexico is nothing compared to what I did back in twenty eleven and they will both fail to compare to what I am going to go rolling into the next year. I am literally going to break this guy apart and serve him up on chips and make some Dago salsa. Make it look and taste soo good his grandmother will be doing the Mexican hat dance at his funeral in appreciate for all the good that I have done for the family when this becomes Joey Flashes first and final stop on the ‘Joey Flash: Odin Balfore just wrecked my shit, tour,’ tour.
Honestly, Seth. The War record is seven, I can easily wreck ten, twelve, fifteen of these low level scrubs. Adam Young and his Friends, The New Breed; They are like the Cleveland Browns, already mathematically out of WAR because I eliminated them, just now. That is five right there. Where are you going to put me? One, thirty? Fuck it, I’ll drag chumps back from the locker room, roll them into the ring and powerbomb them for the pin just to get a couple more. I know that everyone has ‘a lot to say’ but that is just whispers in a wind tunnel. You are looking at the WAR winner and new WAR elimination record holder. Guys like Joe Smarts, Shane Washington and Lester Parrish are all cannon fodder, grains of sand; insignificant nothings that I will dispatch with great vengeance and furious anger. A lot of people think that they have the scoop but you and I know what is really going to go down on Sunday. Because I am going to strike first and I am going to strike hard, harder than what anyone could predict or imagine. Everyone thinks that I am washed up or past my prime but my prime is just getting started. And no one could have predicted that Odin Balfore would return to WCF from a two year hiatus and win WAR in the most dominating fashion then anyone before.
I know that a lot of people think that it is hard to predict what others are going to say in WAR, but I know. I heard it in every WAR I have been in and I heard it when you weren’t here running the show. Everyone thought they had the secret plan to take out Odin Balfore, to rid WCF of the great evil, the Cancer, but in the end they all failed. They all failed because they were thinking small. They were all thinking about what WCF could do for them rather than what they could do for WCF.
To Save it or kill it, to those guys, same as the guys in the match this week; those are small words. They mean nothing. Just like when someone says that they hate spinach or love pizza. They have an obtuse gut reaction to something minuscule and try to relate it to my master plan. When they say that they hate Odin Balfore, they don’t. They are just jealous that I am able to articulate and formulate a plan that is capable of actually accomplishing something. They, like Twilight, wish that they could be me and think with a higher purpose in life because all they have in WCF is the scraps of ghosts; the scraps of ghost of the better men who came before them.
This grand delusion is all that Twilight and the rest of WCF have. This is what keeps them up at night. It is what keeps them going. Like when dad goes to the store for milk and was stuck in traffic, for twenty years. He is never coming back but still they hold out hope that one day he’ll walk through that door with the milk, a puppy and the winning lottery ticket. They hope and dream that they never have to eat the government cheese ever again. Then they wake up. Twilight and the WCF wake up in one giant collective conscious. They wake up to the grim realization that Odin Balfore has returned and there is nothing that any of them can do to stop me from creating history and winning WAR and there is nothing that anyone in this match can do to stop me. Because They are not at WAR, Odin Balfore is, and everyone else is just.. a casualty.The Villain of the Story has returned
