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Post by Thomas Uriel Bates on Sept 11, 2016 16:16:32 GMT -5
Looking for feedback on my latest roleplay. Wanting to know what folks thought of it, and if there has been any noticeable improvements, or if it's getting worse, etc. Long Ride Home
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Post by Oath Breaker on Sept 12, 2016 1:27:03 GMT -5
I was really into the dual story mode you went into with your posts against Gemini. The wolves sideline story that fit in line with the story being told, two stories still the same story was brilliant. In this, each match participant got a whole section, slightly shorter than you usually do but overall much longer in the end with the way they all ties together. Again, still the same story, but not overwhelming in one spot.
It's not better or worse than with the wolves, but more trimmed and what was needed for the match without confusing the elements of who is being referred to. The only thing to really notice is once you get into character speech monologue, you tend to leave out small things to add the right emotion into the character mindset. Does he scratch his chin in thought? Take a breath between paragraphs? Small breaks that add volumes to emotion, which is not an issue before or after the monologue itself.
What a character doesn't say often speaks louder than what he does say when speaking. This is what I noticed, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the read, as I usually do when I go through one of your promos. If I was grading it, it would still get a very solid 'A'
But I failed English religiously, so take from it what you will.
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