Through the winds of change, ZT rises...

[Salem Shepard]

What can I say man? …Cash and I done came out and took care of business last week… I guess people don’t see the trend that’s happening here. I guess they don’t see that ZT is everything we said it would be…We comin and we told yall we wasn’t gonna back down from ANY fight!!! I don’t care if they look like a clown, or like a Puzzle Jesus or dress up like a condom – we don’t back away from anyone!!! Cash and I are on this track to go win the Tag Titles so every member of ZT can have some gold strapped around our waist! That’s the goal right now, and Im sure Cash is tired of me talking about it every time I see him!! ..Im also tired of hearing Archers talking…this guy…he seems to have a death wish. He just so confident that ZT aint shit but I guess he aint been paying attention. But that’s cool, he gonna get his too. Im excited as fuck for what I got going on in my life right now!!! I got all that going on in the WCF, I just moved into my first real house and Im FINALLY getting paid!!! Erik hooked it up, he told me I’ve been doing great at reppin ZT in the ring and I just need to keep taking care of business. So he gave me a Performance Bonus or some shit like that, and he set me up with a financial advisor so you don’t see me on a “Where are they now” show in fifteen years down the road!! I can’t believe where Im at in life right now man, Im getting paid to do what I love with guys that mean more to me than my real family ever did.

(Bloomfield Hills, Mich. 8:07pm)
The house was a massive two story structure that sat halfway down the street. Compared to the others, it was smaller and it looked a bit older than the rest. The yards were large and each house was surrounded in trees, keeping the neighbors a good distance away from each other – just like Shep wanted. He had bought the house with the bonus that Erik had given all three of the wrestlers and he was proud of it. For the first time in his life, he was about to call someplace home outside of Houston. He wasn’t living in a crackhouse or an apartment any longer; although he had kept his apartment in Houston just in case. It was time to get out of that place and Crazy J had talked him into buying a house in Michigan where he could leave his old life behind. And here he was - standing in the front yard of a million dollar house that he had signed and closed on this morning. Little did he know, Michigan was the place Erik Black did most of his ZT deals and where a lot of things happened and got covered up in the past. Erik wanted to move the ZT operation back to Michigan and wanted Shep close for reasons that he didn’t know.

The sun was going down over the trees to the west as Shepard took in the view of his new house, a huge smile across his painted face. The moving trucks had come in right after he had closed on the house this morning and brought enough of the basics to get him settled in; and that had also brought out the neighbors to see who the new guy on the block was. None of them said a word to him all day as he paced around the property just checking everything out and being in awe of his new life. He looked up and down the streets and noticed someone peeking at him from a window and some of the days satisfaction gave way to panic. “Not now” He thought. He was in too good of a place to start panicking and let the schizophrenia take over. “go for a walk.” He told himself. So he did, and he walked east with his back to the setting sun and away from the creeper watching him in the window. He vaped as he walked along the tree line sidewalk, the clouds or vapor lingering in the still evening air behind him. He waved at people as he passed by but nobody returned those waves and several of them went back into the house. The more he walked the more panicked he became; as he could see that these people had no interest in talking to him. They wore nice expensive clothes and drove the finest cars money could buy; while he was wearing a ZT FrEeKsHoW jersey, a backwards hat – and facepaint of course!!!! He noticed that he was vaping nonstop and he was beginning to sweat, so he turned around and started to head back to his house….And he noticed them. Every house. Someone was staring at him. He could feel their eyes boring into him from up and down the street. He wasn’t wanted here and he could feel it.

“White trash…you’ll always be white trash.”
“Jump in that new pool you have and drown yourself.”
“They don’t like scum like you in this neighborhood.”
“Look, the guy in the window has a gun.”

It was the voices …and they were back. Shep jumped back and looked at the two houses closest to him…From what he could see, there was nobody there – nobody with a gun. He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe before he continued to walk back home, now with a quicker pace than he had earlier. He never looked up from that point and tried to push the voices back in his head. He was almost back to his house when he heard the short “whoop” of a siren behind him. He turned around and saw a cop car pulling up behind him with his lights off. Shep cringed and hate swirled through is body because he hated cops; they had given him a hard time his entire life…but this wasn’t Houston he reminded himself. The car pulled up next to the curb and the officer got out of the car. As he did the voices came back:

“Hands up don’t shoot.”
“Kill him or he’ll shoot you.”
“You can take him, it’ll be easy.”
“Someone called the cops on you…kill him.”
“They don’t want you here.”

He forced a smile as the officer approached with a friendly look on his face. Shep read his name plate, Dixon. He was an older black gentlemen with gray hair peppered all over his head and moustache. “How ya doing, sir?”

Shep hesitated, “Im good…Anything I can help you with?”
“Well, we’ve just gotten some phone calls about someone walkin around here…”
Shep nodded and smiled, trying to be friendly. “With a painted face, right?”

“Yes sir, you got it. So Im guessing that’s you. …You look familiar though?...I know I’ve seen you before, I think?”

“I wrestle for the WCF and work for Zero Tolerance, I just moved in...That’s my house right there.”

Shep pointed at his new house and the cop seemed satisfied. He extended his hand and Shep shook it as the cop apologized for giving him a hard time and welcomed him to the neighborhood. Shep turned away as quick as he could and continued on his way home, not wanting to run into anyone else. He got up the driveway, sprinted into the house slamming the door behind him. He leaned against the door and put hands over his ears and a look of pain came over his face as he yelled “STOP” repeatedly. He slumped down against the door until he was on the floor, rocking side to side with his hands on his ears…begging the voices to quiet down as everything started to black out…

*********

(3:22am)
Slipknot played in the background of the house; it was loud but not loud enough to piss off anyone that lived around him. The rest of the house was a mess as he had tipped over the dining room table onto its side and put all the chairs on either side of it – like a hiding spot. He had taken all the bedsheets in the house and put them over as many windows as he could, starting with the main room and the kitchen where he had spent most of his time. The TV was on in the other room and it too was a mess with the small table flipped over and food covered the floor. Shepard then darted out from the flipped over dining table that now served as a hiding spot. He ran from window to window peeking out each one with no shirt on. His back was completely covered in tattoos and when he turned for the last window we saw his painted face. It was all white with a large “FUCK U” in black across his forehead. He ran back across the room, dove over the chairs and back behind the table…

The Slipknot ended and the house was silent except for the TV in the other room, replaying the nights news. Shepard slowly raised his head back up over the table, the big FUCK U popping up first, then he stood up this time with a shirt on and a bowl of ramen noodles in his hand. There was a far out look in his face – and he was nowhere close to reality. A weird smile spread across his face and he waved to the camera with his other hand..and he never blinked. He nervously sat the chairs back up and kept glancing at the camera as he did.

“The neighbors…uuh..th-they were trying to kill me. I, um, I had to hide. …I didn’t know you were still here…”

He stopped, his eyes wide looking at the camera in a complete trance for a moment before snapping out of it and walking into the adjoining room with the TV. He sat on the couch and started to eat the noodles as he mindlessly started to watch the TV, or pretended to watch the TV as he glanced at the camera every now and then. He looked at the TV and saw the news replay had started over again; and the semi-attractive blonde sitting behind the news desk as her name flashed across the screen: Samantha Cooper. He continued to eat his noodles as Samantha went into her next story when she suddenly stopped. She looked right into the camera and said, “Salem…”

His froze, his eyes were huge and focused on the TV as ramen noodles dangled from his mouth for a second before falling onto his lap. He looked at Samantha Cooper on TV, “did she just say my name!?” he thought..”she’s out to kill me too I bet!!!!”

“Im not out to kill you, Salem.” She said looking directly at him from the TV screen.
“Then what do you want!?” He was shaking and dropped the bowl of noodles.

“I have something very important to tell you, Salem. You don’t understand how much danger you’re in. You need to get away from all these people.”

He shot up from the couch and pointed his finger at the TV, “WHY!!!?? Tell me!!!”

Samantha Cooper leaned over her news desk, “They want to kill you…all of them…”
“I know they do!! I don’t fit in here, not in this rich place!!”
She shook her head, “No, it’s not that…It’s worse…”

He backed away from the TV and put his hands on his head...He paced around, a nervous wreck…dreading what he was about to hear. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to hear it, but he stopped and looked at the TV and whispered, “..what is it?...”

The lady on the screen nodded and relaxed in her chair, “You need to leave now…Think about it, what’s going to happen when you wake up tomorrow morning and you’re a chicken nugget?”

“A CHICKEN NUGGET!?”

Samantha nodded with a sad look on her face, “Yes…Im afraid so…And the sun will be coming up soon, so you should be changing into a chicken nugget anytime now.”

Salem backed away from the TV and fell into the couch. He sat there with a stunned look on his face, and almost seemed to cry as he spoke..”But I don’t wanna be a chicken nugget…”

“I understand” she said, “Why don’t you eat the rest of your noodles now?”

Salem looked down at the floor and picked up the bowl of noodles. There was still a few in the bowl as he said, “Im really not hungry anymore.”

Samantha slammed her hands on the news desk and yelled, “That’s the first sign!!!! IT’S HAPPENING!!!!!!”

Shep jumped up off the couch with a shriek that sounded like it came from a girl. He picked up the small table next to the couch and looked at Samantha, who had moved on to her next news story and he threw the table into the TV. It fell off the wall and broke as it hit the floor. Shep ran out of the room and the scene faded…..

*******

..One step closer to insanity and one step closer to the Tag Titles. Nothing will be given to us and we have to win this match to take what we want - our chance at the Tag Titles. It’s only a step away, …just one. Sometimes I feel like insanity is only one more step, and off the cliff I go. …But I know that I have to keep myself composed for this match. I know that I have to focus and be on my game this week. There will be no rookie mistakes, there will be no “what ifs” because there will be no loss. We have fought and battled our way to this point.

Nobody can question our desire to win.
Nobody can question our dedication.
Nobody gives us a chance.
Nobody thinks we have the skill or determination.
Nobody will want to step into the ring with ZT after this week….

*******

(The Next Day, 11:42am)
The black Hearst pulled into the long driveway of Shepard’s new house and pulled up to the garage. Crazy J stepped out of the driverseat and Cash from the passenger side of the Hearst. J quickly spun around and grabbed a small paper bag from the car.

“His car must be in the garage.” Cash said as he looked the house over.
Crazy J paced around, “Are you sure he’s even here? ..I bet he ran off again.”

“Naw” Cash pulled his phone from his pocket, “I got a app that shows me where his phone is, ..says he here.”

Cash closed the door to the Hearst behind him and both men started to walk up to the front door of the house. They both took in the surroundings as they seemed surprised that Shep had picked such a nice neighborhood. A place that Crazy J knew Shep wasn’t going to be very welcomed. They went up the steps and Cash banged on the huge double doors. As he did, he saw J dive off the side of the porch and into the bushes…And then the Hillbilly smelled something burning. He turned around and saw the bag J had been carrying - it was on fire.

“Sumbitchin hell ya doin!?” Cash was confused as he looked at Crazy J hiding in the bushes.

“C’mon!!! Hurry!!!” Crazy J tried to be quiet as he waved Jason Cash over to the bushes. “Get down before he sees you!! It’s gonna be no fun if he sees you. It’ll be kinda creepy if he opens his door and you’re just fucking standing there next to a burning bag of shit….you know how creepy that looks!?!?!”

Cash glared at Crazy J, “Say the guy hidin in the sumbitchin bushes. …Why you do that anyhow?”

“Cause that’s what we talked about isn’t it?”
“NO!!” Cash roared, “We came over here to make sure Shep was ok.”

“Oh…” J stood up from the bushes, “I gotta be honest with you. I haven’t learned Spanish too well yet, so I didn’t understand what you said earlier. I kinda have to piece it all together, ya know?”

Cash knocked on the door again, “Sumbitch…I don’t speak goddamn Mexican!!”
Crazy J mocked him, “La Blah blah, como taco sumbitchin avocado!”

Jason Cash pulled his right hand back like he was going to hit Crazy J and then turned his attention back to the door. Still, no answer. Cash looked at Crazy J and both men had concerned looks on their faces. J tried the door latch and it was locked, and without saying a word both men took a few steps back then rammed the door. The wood splintered and the door broke off its bottom hinge. A piece of the frame fell to the floor and the clang it made echoed into the dark, quiet house.

“IT’S THE FUCKIN COPS!!! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!!” J screamed as he entered the house. Cash slapped him on the back of the head, “Oww!! Fuck!! The fuck was that for!?”

Cash walked by him, “Cause if he done lost his mind he gonna think we really is the law….Shep!?....Ya here!?” He called out in a quieter tone. They walked into the house and came by the kitchen first and saw a massive mess on the counter around the sink. Cash walked in and picked up two bottles, one BBQ Sauce and the other being ketchup. Both bottles had been emptied of their contents into the sink - and a weird look came over Cash’s face.

“Oh hell no…I know what’s goin on here!! He got some ladies upstairs and he’s doin weird shit with the BBQ Sauce and ketchup…” He shook his head in disapproval, “I aint goin up there…I don’t even wanna see that shit!”

Crazy J looked mad and muttered where Cash couldn’t hear him, “That bastard….I told him Ketchup was mine and Lisa’s thing.” He looked at Cash and spoke where the hillbilly could hear him this time, “Yeah, I bet he’s upstairs. I’ll go get him.”

“No, Just leave”……They both heard the voice and froze. Neither of the men could pinpoint where it came from as their eyes wandered the house. Cash set the two empty bottles down and called out, “Shep? You in here?”

“No, Im not. Go away.”

They both heard it clearly this time; the voice was coming from a closet at the end of the hallway. Cash and Crazy J quietly walked over to the closet, stepping over trash as they walked. They came to the closet and Crazy J almost whispered into the door crack, “Schizo? ..that you?”

The muffled voice came from the closet again, “No…Im not Salem Schizo Shepard…not anymore.”

“Oh? You aint?” Cash was playing along, “Then who the hell is ya?”
“You don’t want to know.”

Cash tried to muffle a laugh, “Well we got a match this week…We gotta train today, so we kinda need ya ta come on out.”

There was a long silence as Cash and J looked at each other before the muffled voice came back again, “I can’t fight anymore. Go on without me.” The two wrestlers didn’t really want to argue with him and Cash knew if they could just get him out they could talk some sense into him. J started to open the closet door but it was quickly pulled shut with a slam from the inside.

“C’mon homie” Crazy J pleaded, “Just open the door, come on out.”
“I can’t let you see me like this. Im not the same person anymore and I can’t wrestle either.”

Cash was getting annoyed, “Boy, the fuckin hell is soo wrong with you that you can’t wrestle anymore!?”

“DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE ME!?”

They both recoiled from the closet door as Shepard screamed at them. Crazy J was a little nervous, “Well yeah…you our homie, its ok.”

“Ok…Then listen to me” Shep said as he shuffled around in the closet, “Something bad happened last night…the neighbors are out to kill me…but…but…that’s not it, something even worse happened.” There was a long pause as they waited for him to continue, “…I uh, I got…I got turned into a chicken nugget last night.”

Both men broke into laughter and Shep yelled from the closet, “ITS NOT FUNNY!!!!!” But it was, and they couldn’t control their laughter for a moment before Crazy J finally gathered himself enough to speak, “Alright, alright…maybe it’s not funny. Why don’t you just come on out and we can find a magic Chicken Nugget Fairy to turn you back into a real boy again!!!”

This time the two did a better job of hiding their laughter as Shep spoke through the door again, “No…if I come out the neighbors will try and eat me. You might try to eat me too.”

Crazy J nodded like there was some truth to this asinine statement, “Well…it depends. Are you a regular Chicken Nugget or are you like a McNugget. ..Cause there IS a difference.”

Another long pause from the closet before Shep spoke, “Well….which one do you like more?”
Without hesitation J responded, “Real nuggets of course!!”
“Then I am a McNugget.”
“Gross..” Crazy J was acting as if this were a real situation.

Cash quietly grabbed the knob on the closet door and threw it open. Shepard was hiding under a blanket and it was clear that he was shaking in terror underneath. Crazy J tried to pull the blanket away but Shep had a good grip on it. Cash joined in and with one big tug they yanked the blanket out of the closet with Shepard in tow. He sprawled out across the floor wearing the same clothes he had on the previous day and the big FUCK U on his forehead.

“PLEASE DON’T EAT ME!!!” He screamed.

They both looked at him like he was insane and Cash pulled out his cell phone, turned on the camera and handed it to Schizo. He looked at himself on the screen and touched his face, “Soo….Im not really a chicken nugget?”

Cash just shook his head “no” and took his phone back. Salem sighed, “Woah…what a relief…I thought I was really a chicken nugget. The bitch on the news told me I was!!”

Cash was confused, “The bitch on tha news!?”

“Yeah, she stopped right in the middle of her news to warn me about turning into a chicken nugget.”

“Oh yes…” Crazy J smiled, “The one with the big titties, Samantha Cooper.”

They both looked confused as Shepard pulled himself up off the floor and smiled like nothing had happened, “So, you guys like my house!?”

They stood outside Sheps large house as the sun was high in the sky and the shadows were the smallest they would be all day. The wind blew through the trees, and so did the sweet smell of marijuana that Shepard was smoking in the driveway like it was no big deal. Crazy J stood by himself with his hands on his sides looking up at the massive tree that was in Shepard’s yard. They had already discussed it might be the biggest tree on the block since this was one of the oldest houses here. Shep tried to hand the joint to Cash but he only shook his head no and motioned over to Crazy J. Shep followed them over and Crazy J turned away from the tree and looked at him. He had tears in his eyes and snot was starting to run from his nose.

“Shep?” He asked quietly.
Shep took another hit from the joint, “Yea? Whasup homie?”

“Well, I was thinking...” Crazy J looked back at the tree, “I wish we had buried Lisa under this tree…it’s a beautiful tree…And it’s a massive piece of wood, ..like the one in my pants.”

Cash didn’t like this kind of talk and took a step away from Crazy J. Shep found this funny and had a serious look on his face, “You know how…like…when you at a restaurant and you see a fine girl and you pop wood? ..If you flex a muscle for sixty seconds, your chub goes away!”

“..Stoned thoughts by Schizo Shepard” Cash muttered as he took another step away.
“For real, Hillbilly!!!! It’s true, check that shit out tonight when you get home!!”

Crazy J interrupted, “So, anyway, about this tree…I was thinking that Lisa could still be buried under it.”

Shep was unsure, “I dunno dawg, I just moved here…and I dunno if you want to move her body to my front yard.”

“WHAT!?” Crazy J didn’t look happy, actually, he looked like he was about to cry. “Why would I bury her in your front yard!? C’mon man, don’t be a weirdo…..Im gonna cut the tree down and take it to her plot, obviously. ..Bury her in your front yard, what kind of crazy shit is that!?...Sometimes simple is best.”

Shep and Cash didn’t know what to say for a moment before Shep broke the silence, “Soooo…How you gonna get it there.”

“That’s easy!” J said with a smile, “Im gonna strap it on my car, like they did in Christmas Vacation.”

Cash just shook his head in amazement, “Hey…Lets go drive around and check out some of these houses, Im thinking about moving in here.”

Shep finished off the joint and quickly ran into the house, and just as quick returned with a stack of papers. They loaded up in the Heart and pulled out of the driveway with Crazy J driving. There were a few places that Cash wanted to check out and a few more just a mile up the road. Shepard didn’t care; he wasn’t interested in this at all.

“Hey!” Shep poked his head between J and Cash in the front seats, “I was thinking…You know how when you little kids and you go on a trip and you play games??? I HAVE SOME!!!”

“Well ya aint gotta scream in muh damn ear!” Cash finished off his beer and threw it out the window. “Whatcha got?”

Shep was excited, “Ok heres what we do…I sing you a song, or give you a quote and you tell me what WCF Wrestler Im talking about..k?”

Crazy J smiled, he knew he was going to like this.
Cash wasn’t sure what to think, “You just better be ready for our damn match this week, boy”

JASON!!!! You know you aint gonna question if Im going to be ready for the match!!! Now that I know Im not a chicken nugget we got this shit in the bag. …I know, I know…allow me to cut you off….. Im not overlooking these two weirdos at all. Were facing a wannabe rapper or some shit like that…I dunno what the fuck that guy has going on, but he aint right. This Lilith girl though, ..She pretty good. But she aint nearly as beautiful as my Twilight.

Cash rolled his eyes, “dude…you gotta get off that shit, she don’t even like you.”

It doesn’t matter if she likes me or not because one day she will…One day she’ll be BEGGIN me to rub this face paint all over her….But this Lilith girl? ..yuck…Compared to Twilight she looks like a cheap hooker. I only have room in my heart for one WCF female and it aint this Lilith girl…My bed has room for two, but that’s not the point!!! Man, I don’t even understand what Lilith saying half the time cause she talks like a little two year old. I think she got coke smuggled into those bears or something.

“Hell yeah!!” Crazy J liked the sound of this, “She prolly do got some of that booger sugar!!”

“Booger sugar!?” Cash laughed, “It would take some sumbitchin booger sugar for me ta roll in the hay with ‘er, cause she look like a goddamn Wompus Cat!”

Crazy J gave Cash a weird look, “Fuck did you just say? I don’t know that Spanish word yet..”

Shep shook his head, “I don’t know what a Wompus Cat is either, J…if it makes ya feel any better. ANYWAY!!!! Let’s play my game!!! Ok, so, first…Im going to sing part of this song and you tell me what it is…Ready?”

Both men in the front of the Hearst nodded and waited silently as Shepard started to sing:

“Oompa loompa doompety da….If you're not greedy, you will go far…..You will live in happiness too….Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do…….Ok, so, whose song is that?”

Crazy J laughed uncontrollably for a moment as he swerved into oncoming traffic, “I know it!!!! This is an easy one!!!!!!

Cash grinned, “Ok yeah…That’s the Oompla Loompa song, of course”

Crazy J gave him an odd look and so did Shepard who screamed out, “WRRROOONNNGGG!!!!! That’s the Midgets intro song!!! Damien Kaine!!!...He comes to the ring to that song!!!”

Cash didn’t say a word as the other two laughed. He knew that wasn’t right, but whatever, he was going to roll with it. So he tried to change the subject again, “Why don’t we worry about taking out these two dipshits and getting our Tag Title shot..”

We will!!! Quit stressing over it man!! We both know what we can do in the ring and we’ve been training all week!! Cash, listen, we gonna walk into that ring and take care of our bidness like we always do!! You gotta stay off those websites man, they all sayin we gonna get our ass kicked by these two, but those writers say that shit every week.. fans, media, and even the fuckin WCF wrestlers, none of them are giving us a chance…But that’s ok, we the underdog and we been the underdog since we got here. This Skittlez guy though, he thinks that Lilith is the sexiest thing on the face of the planet…We already establish she look like a Wompus Cat or whatever you called it.

There aint no way in hell she looks better than Twilight!!! Im gonna bust that bitches face up soo bad, every time she go outside someone gonna think her husband whooped her up real nice! It’s hard for me to hit a girl, ya know? I was always taught my whole life to never hit a girl…and here I am …bout to have to sock another bitch straight in her face for the second time in three weeks. …My old man would not have approved of this. If she knows what’s best for her, she’ll let this reject rapper do most the time in the ring cause I just don’t see her approving of the black eyes we’ll give her this week. …Do you know how embarrassing it would be to lose to a GIRL!?

Cash seemed to recoil at the thought, “Thas why we aint gonna lose!!! I aint bout ta lose ta no damn female!!”

Well I guess she’s been around here for a good minute, but it’s out with the old and in with the new these days!! Its time for a new group of people to change things up in the WCF….We changing the whole direction of this place and these people in the WCF should recognize how goddamn lucky they are to be graced by the presence of Zero fuckin Tolerance. People like Lilith, they already had their day, they already had their time in the light and it’s OUR turn now. It’s our time to show the world what ZT can do in the WCF. Crazy J has proven that he’s worthy of holding the Hardcore belt; but our short list of goals aren’t complete until all three of us have gold strapped around our waists. And that time for Cash and I is quickly approaching. OK!!! I have another one!!!

Cash disagreed, “Naw, I don’t think I really want to play this game”

“OH COME ONE!!! I got a good one about Obilivion….oh….well, shit. I just told you it was about him, so that kinda ruins the whole thing…Anyway, he killed some dogs a few weeks ago and he thinks that’s scary. …Shit aint scary, man!”

Cash gave him a weird look and noticed that Shepard still wasn’t back to his usual self from the chicken nugget incident. He knew that was the reason for Sheps random weirdness.

Crazy J cringed, "I dunno man....I fought him. He was pretty tough."

"Well I'm sooo sorry!!!" Shep threw his hands up, "But anyone that kills dogs aint scary...Do you see people being scared of Michael Vick!? HELL NO!!!!!"

J shrugged, "Well, Obi was killing mangy dogs...It wasn’t like he was killing puppies or anything."

Shep was confused, "Umm..No? Lilith is still alive, I just seen her post on the internet...he didn’t kill her."

Cash roared in laughter, "So she a mangy dog or a Wompus Cat!?"

WHAT THE FUCK IS A WOMPUS CAT!?!? You keep saying it and I have no idea what the fuck a Wompus Cat is!!! Im confused!!!! Is this a chicken nugget joke!? ..Are you fucking around with me!?...

Cash just laughed but never said a word.

You know, I thought we was some weird mother fuckers, but have you actually watched their promos? This bitch thinks that McDonalds in the best restaurant in the world,…I mean, if she just wants a nasty piece of meat Im sure Bishop would be happy to help her out. Im white trash from the hood, and even Im too good for McDonalds….Man that shit just don’t settle right, ya know? It’s not like Taco Bell where you gotta run off to the shitter as soon as you get home; it’s a whole different kind of hell. That Mickey D’s shit? ..Man that shit just seems to sit in your gut for like three days and Im not sure the human body can break down that awful shit. I swear to God I’ve pooped out straight French fries before...No lie!!

“Dude..” Cash put his hand over his stomach, “Stop, you’re gonna make me sick.”

Not Taco Bell though!!! You better make sure you got the good TP at home before you eat that stuff; cause you don’t want that thin, soft shitty TP…That’s the kind that leave ya fingers wet after you wipe. Skittlez look like the kinda guy who don’t really give a damn if he got Taco Bell ass sludge on the end of his fingers…He also look like the type of guy who wipes the wrong direction, but hey…you do you, man. We may be weird, but these two are just fuckin dumb. ..So I guess this will make for an interesting match before we send Skittlez home crying rainbow tears that he didn’t get his Tag Title shot.

“Hey!!” Crazy J spoke up. “Don’t make fun of tears, I cried all damn week. “

Shep almost felt bad, “Well yeah, but that’s different homie…You lost someone you love. Skittlez gonna lose this match, and there isn’t a fuckin reason to cry over that!!”

Cash popped open another beer, “At least this a wrasslin match and not a fuckin debate. I can’t stand to listen to that bitch Lilith talk!!”

Right!?!? I can’t even get through a full promo of hers …or ANY promo that has her in it!!! Just hearing her talk makes me want to bash my fuckin head against a wall.. Jesus fuck she’s irritating!! It’s even hard for me to read shit that she posts on the internet because I can still heat her whiney ass voice in my head when I read that shit. And everything is “Bear this” and “Bear that” …I’ll drop my drawers and show her my bare ass!!!! Goddamn someone needs to staple her mouth shut… OH THAT REMINDS ME!!!!!

Shep shuffled through some of his papers that he had brought with him.

Ok!!! I went and printed out some of her social media posts because I thought this was funny as hell and I had to show you guys!! …So Im going to read these to yall…Except I replaced the word “bear” with another word…Ok, here we go.

He cleared his throat and began to read

So ummmms... Sare vagina said that if me and my bestest friend in the whole entire world, Rainbow vagina, beat that Candy Shop group of weirdo vaginas that we'd go on to face tolerance... or something like that

The two in the front of the Hearst got a kick out of it.

See how much better that sounded!?!? It makes her social media posts a lot more fun to read if you change out the word bear. This way it doesn’t sound like a fucking five year old typed out her posts. How about this one: “see I was right. I knews I was going to go play with the cobweb vaginas.

“WOAAH!!” Cash said as he nearly spit his beer out, “Cobweb vaginas!? …That’s some grandma shit right there!! …Sounds right up your alley Shep!! We all seen ya with that old lady at J’s Bachelor party!!

Shep just glared at Cash and a depressed look came over Crazy J’s face as he thought about the bachelor party, …and Lisa.

Man, the shit she posted on the internet the other day talkin about she don’t know who the Salem fuckin Shepard is, and talking about some cat!? Bitch, I don’t even like cats!! Cats are NASTY!! You better learn real fuckin quick you who steppin in the ring with this week…Aint gonna be no fucking bears, or any nasty ass cats. You get Salem Shepard and the Hillbilly Hero himself - in the fuckin flesh!!! Jason Cash!!! Just cause you been around here for a while and been in more WCF matches than we have don’t mean a Goddamn thing!!!! You got us mixed up with people like Cap WCF, Dion whatever his name is, and Midget Kaine…You might be able to get in the ring and take care of yo bidness without doing any homework on those idiots, …but those guys aren’t even in our league. Those guys don’t have the skill that Zero Tolerance does…So I hope you over look us, I hope you come to the ring expecting an easy win over some jobbers….Cause that aint gonna happen.

“Candy boy gone be the weak link…he aint no good.” Cash was confident.

And hes an even worse rapper. Did you see the shit he comes up with!? Now, Im not the smartest guy in the world and I barely made it through the seventh grade, but shit man, my poems are better than the rap songs he come up with. And yeah man, he is the weak link in this match. He aint never done a damn thing in the WCF except be everyone’s bitch and help people improve their winning percentage. So if Lilith is soo good, then why did she let this jobber step into the ring with her?? What’s he got, one career win!?

Cash agreed, “I can name fifteen wrasslers in the WCF that is better than him! …How many people wrassle in the WCF anyway?

Yeah, I don’t know homie.
“Well, for the hell of it, let’s say thirty…That means I can think of thirty wrasslers better than him.”

Yeah, he’s without a doubt the biggest failure in the WCF that we’ve ever faced. …We haven’t had too many matches either, but I bet in a year from now after we have a million more matches, …He still gonna be the worst one. I already told you they were dumber than a fucking rock and this just backs up my point. Cause if Lilith is soo good, then she could have done better picking a tag partner….Skittlez is awful, man. They can take us as a joke all they want, but this is what I LOVE!!!

I obsess over things, because I don’t just ‘like’ things - I ‘LOVE’ things!! For me, it’s either I go in all the way or I don’t like it at all. ..There’s really no in-between for me when it comes to my interests. And fighting is what’s gotten me through every bad fucking thing that’s ever happened in my life. I feel like a God in the ring, I feel like nothing can bring me down, that nothing can hold me back!! No, it aint always gonna go my way, but ya know what? I could lose twenty matches in a row, …and guess what?

“You would suck?” Laughed Crazy J.

..Shut up!!! No, I could lose a hundred matches and I would walk my happy ass down to the ring the next week and still feel like a fucking God between those ropes!! Shit, the Man himself might be using me as a vessel to beat the shit out of yall here!!!! That’s prolly why I feel soo Godly between the ropes!! And if He does use me as a vessel, He only coming down this week to erase the mistake He made with Lilith and Skittlez. Man, I might even go buy me a Bible this week and bring it on down to the ring so I can literally beat the Holy fuck out of you both. For real though, I may not be a God…But after the lesson that we have to teach you two retards in a few days; yall will be looking at us like Wrestling Gods…

Yall just hopping around like a bunch of Power Puff Girls, giggling and havin a good time. I KNOW!!!!! SHUT UP!!!! …I know that kinda makes me a hypocrite, but we work. We train. I can assure that! Erik makes sure we keep our asses in check…I said it before, we don’t let people watch us train, we don’t let people in on that….that’s none of ya fuckin business. You see the result; you see it every week in the ring. I see Skittlez don’t even know what a ‘win’ means or what one looks like – he knows how to fucking lose though, that’s for damn sure!! So yeah, we got all kinds of weird shit going on but we can still stay focused on what we gotta do…You two? Yeah, I don’t know.

They tell me that Lilith is something to fear, but anyone who teams up with the rapping reject. He looks like one of the Hanson kids all grown up but still trying to live the musicians dream. …fuck outta here with that shit!! This is the WCF, this aint a fucking McDonalds or a recording ‘studio’ in your white trash friends trailer, and there aint no fucking bears!!

..or vaginas?...

Lilith gonna learn that the old days of the WCF are over because ZT 2.0 ushered in a new generation of talent and one day down the road...Well, you all gonna be looking up at us…wishin you hadn’t been so fuckin ignorant and listened to the warnings that we gave yall… Things always change, momentum swings, ..people come and go…Some people stay and dominate, and they ride out the next wave of talent that surges ahead after them…But you see, even before I came along, ZT has ALWAYS risen their way to the top, and when the next group worked their way in and shook things up after that? …ZT weathered the storm and held their ground when others couldn’t. When others left, only to disappear and never to be heard of again; when legends saw their legacies shatter and years of work fall away in an instant, …ZT didn’t fall.

Zero Tolerance stayed strong and destroyed any new challenge. We have dug our feet into the foundation of the WCF and you people still DON’T FUCKING SEE IT!!! Im glad Im on their side…Im glad I fight with them, guys who truly understand what it means to the team. Guys who have been in battle and have seen the rise and fall of others around them; while ZT was the one that never wore down. …There is no give in us, there is no quit…Even when we get what we want, we keep searching for something else. Something else to destroy and only further strengthening the name Zero Tolerance. Cash and I want those Tag Team titles, and there isn’t a fucking thing that’s going to stop us from getting them. Sluts and Gentlefucks, you’re looking at the future of the WCF….