A Day in the Life of The Magnificent Bastard!
Sept 7, 2016 18:51:48 GMT -5
Gemini Battle and Chief Tom-O-Hawk like this
Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2016 18:51:48 GMT -5
(Darkness..Then..this rolls onto the screen...)
The Following Feature is Rated M for Magnificent!!!!
His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard
He once made a weeping willow laugh
He lives vicariously through himself
He is..
THE MAGNIFICENT BASTARD ADRIAN ARCHER!
(DISCLAIMER: This WCF Network presentation may contain explicit language, intense scenes of graphic violence, and some nudity. If you are a child watching this, your parents may have failed you. That is not our problem. )
*THE WCF Network logo rotates on the screen, then Hank Brown is shown in the WCF Studio*
Hank: Welcome everyone to "A Day in the Life" where we profile a different WCF Superstar each week, and get inside access as to what its like to be a WCF Superstar!
This week, we travel with The Magnificent Bastard Adrian Archer, one of the hottest new talents in WCF today! So, without further a due, A day in the Life of Adrian Archer!
(Fade out..)
CHAPTER ONE: A MAGNIFICENT MORNING
(Scene fades in inside a dark room..The room is blacked out with heavy curtains..All of a sudden, an alarm clock blares from the table aside the bed..)
*GLORRRIOUS! I WON'T GIVE..*SMACK* THUD*
(And with that, Adrian Archer is seen leaping out of bed and opening the curtains..Next to him in bed, a shapely young woman who looks like she's been through a hurricane..Brown hair standing straight up, she wobbles out of bed..)
Woman: Adrian..
(Adrian rushes to the restroom..his Magnificent Bum flies through the door)
Adrian: (From Bathroom) No time Wanda..
Woman: Its Lindsey..
(Charles enters the room holding a Dolce And Gabana suitcase and tosses the young lady her clothing from the previous evening..As she dresses, Adrian calls from the shower..)
Adrian: Charles, please escort this young lady wherever she wants to go..I'm late..
(Scene changes to inside the bathroom..Piano from "Day In the Life" by the Beatles plays..Adrian looks in the mirror, dressed in a white button down shirt and black jeans..The song continues)
"Woke up, got outta bed..ran a comb across my head"
(Hair is immaculate, he chuckles, flashing his magnificent smile in the mirror as he heads out the door...Music and scene fade out..)
CHAPTER 2: On Air With Ryan Seacrest
Hank: We are just getting started here on WCF Networks "A Day in the Life" featuring The Magnificent Bastard Adrian Archer! Next up, we accompany him as a guest on the number one radio show in Los Angeles, On Air With Ryan Seacrest!
(Fade in..We are now in the studios of 102.7 KIIS FM Los Angeles..Adrian sits on the guest couch of "On Air With Ryan Seacrest"..Some pop music drivel is heard playing lightly, the song broadcasting on the station now..An intern tries to set Adrian up with headphones..)
Adrian: GET OFF ME! I owned Slamcast for heavens sake I know about radio! Jeez..
(Song ends..Ryan, perfectly on cue, sitting next to his female "hole" of the show segues in..)
Ryan: This is 102.7 KIIS FM..On Air with Ryan Seacrest..And we have as a guest in studio promoting his new Book "Behold The Bastard" professional Wrestler..Adri..
Adrian: Woah woah..Its The Magnificent Bastard...How are you Ryan?
Ryan: Doing well..and..
Adrian: Magnificent! Ryan, you have a Magnificent studio..And your career..Amazing..So much done for someone with really no talent..
Ryan: Excuse me?
Adrian: C'mon Ryan, I know your story, hell, we sort of came up together! You're a media slut..Do anything for a buck! You'd emcee a worm race at a Walmart if the check was big enough..
Ryan:(Chuckles uncomfortably) So tell us ab..
Adrian: "Behold The Bastard" How to be Magnificent In Every Way" in stores now..You should get a copy..
Ryan: Uh..okay..So what does a professional fake stuntman know about what I..
(Adrian leaps across the room to the table..the Hole shrieks..Adrian gets reall close to Ryans face..)
Adrian: (In a hissing whisper) Perhaps I can show you personally one day when I lock you in The Beholder and snap your little body in half! How'd you like that?
(Seacrest is actually chuckling..But breathes hard and feigns fright..)
Ryan: Go to a song..JUST DO IT!
(Song starts, mics go off..everyone laughs..)
Ryan: Adrian..you Magnificent Bastard..this should bring the ratings right back up!
Adrian: (Slaps 5, Dabs with Seacrest) Yes my good friend anything I can do to help my former running buddy..Well, I must depart..But before I do..
(Adrian pulls Seacrest in tight..)
Adrian: (In a low menacing growl) You ever insult my livelihood again, Mr. Seacrest, I will manually extract your testicles, carve them, sautee them in wine, and serve them to the beggars downstairs..Do I make myself..Clear?
(Adrian pulls away, all smiles, and walks out of the studio..Ryan appears to have urinated on himself..Either that, or his khakis have zero sweat control..Jaymie, the "Hole" stares at Adrian..)
Jaymie: Wow..what a Magnificent..
Ryan..bastard...
CHAPTER 3: A Golden Opportunity
Hank: Folks we are here Live in The Magnificent Bastards Limo outside the radio studio to get some comments from Adrian Arch..Oh here he comes!
(The door to the limo opens..Adrian is on his phone..)
Adrian:..Its perfectly fine..I'll just...WHAAA!
*THWACK*
Hank: AWWWGGUUHH!!!
(In a split second, Adrian has dropped his phone and landed a well placed heel strike to Hank Brown's nose..Usually a deadly blow, luckily for Hank, Adrian was expecting someone taller..Blood is gushing from Hanks nose..)
Adrian: HANK! WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL..Thomas, why was I not informed of this?
Thomas:(The limo driver lowers the window) Sorry sir, I tried calling..I let him in..He's from..
Adrian: I know where he is from! Jesus Mary and Joseph..My good man..Here, let us get you to a hospital..THOMAS! CEDAR SINAI! POST HASTE!
(Phone rings while Hank moans in pain, shoving napkins provided by the driver onto his face)
*CUZ THE PLAYERS GONNA HATE HATE HATE...*
Adrian: YEAH WHAT?...Uh huh..Yeah..Hank's here...Match..What match?...
(His face breaks out into a smile..)
Adrian: Well, its about time The Bastard was in the running for some Gold..Yes..Yes I will.. Thank you!
(He hangs up..Adrian turns into a figurative school boy at the news regarding his title match at Slam)
Adrian: HANK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!
Hank: Awghmrrrfff..
Adrian: Its okay..We will get you patched up soon my microphoned friend..But in the meantime, let me get something on tape for the WCF faithful..
(Adrian addresses the camera, but looks at his phone first)
Adrian: Well well well..As I check the Vegas odds on my phone, it looks like The Bastard is at 100 to 1 to win this match! Better Than Damian's 500 to 1..But still, quite a heavy underdog..
It is a testament to the great career and storied history of one Gemini Battle. Former World Champion, has been the main event for as long as I can remember..A true warrior who has fought and won some of the greatest matches in WCF history..Yes my friends, Gemini Battle is quite a decorated individual..Which is EXACTLY WHY ITS TIME TO BET ON THE BASTARD!
Hank: Gurrrggle..mwufgfhf
(Adrian looks annoyed at Hank..)
Adrian: DO YA MIND HANK!? Jeez, some people..Anyhoo..
You see, while Gemini Battle is the Television Champion, and a prestigious one at that, he is a hunted man..Teddy Blaze is itching for a match, and that is just a recent development..His real beef is with Mount. WCF himself, Thomas Uriel Bates..These two legendary competitors are already more than most here can chew..But then you add to the mix that Gemini Battle is a tortured soul..Grayson Pierce living his alter ego..At some point..Somethings gotta give..And I am willing to bet..Its gonna give At Slam!
What is it with the WCF hiring mental patients? I'm surprised Nurse Ratchet is'int handing out little cups at every event..
But I digress..
The upset..is there a more thrilling event in sport? Douglas/Tyson, the remarkable 1988 Dodgers run..There is no better spectacle than the upset..And what an upset it would be..Not in my mind, grant you..I always have faith in myself. I did as the youngest NACW Champion at 19 when, as a ham n egger I was called to the main stage when the #1 contender walked out..I wasn't supposed to win..but I did..And changed the entire company..
I was an underdog starting an Internet Radio station before podcasts were even a thing..But Slamcast became the standard bearer under my watch when nobody thought it would..When Google bought me out, my hard work and perserverance made me rich beyond my wildest dreams of avarice!
And so it goes for Sunday. Yes, I know that Damian is also in the match as well, and Damian, if you are watching, you have the opportunity to shed the bonds of failure and make a name for yourself! We face a common enemy with a prize that will put us at the top of the company..The Bastard has a short memory..If we play our cards right..we could be settling our differences over Gold! Think about it..
But a final word to Gemini Battle..Mr. Pierce, you may think you are prepared for this fight..You may think that because of your prior Wars you may be able to mail this one in..But I warn you, dear Mr. Pierce..Upsets are common in our business..I find it hard to believe a man can fight this many wars on numerous fronts and not let one front slip...
I do respect you, Mr. Pierce. Your heart, your accomplishments..But I am The Magnificent Bastard..And I live for these moments! I assure you, Mr. Pierce, you will..BEHOLD...THE BASTARD!
(The Limo stops, nearly sending its occupants to the floor..)
Adrian: Gentlemen! We have arrived! Straight through! I would stay, but I have Gold to win and must prepare!
(The cameraman and Hank Brown are thrown from the limo in front of the ER at Cedar Sinai. The limo speeds away...Hank speaks through the napkins that cover his nose..)
Hank: That...Manifisunt...Bastrdd..
(Fade to black)
The Following Feature is Rated M for Magnificent!!!!
His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard
He once made a weeping willow laugh
He lives vicariously through himself
He is..
THE MAGNIFICENT BASTARD ADRIAN ARCHER!
(DISCLAIMER: This WCF Network presentation may contain explicit language, intense scenes of graphic violence, and some nudity. If you are a child watching this, your parents may have failed you. That is not our problem. )
*THE WCF Network logo rotates on the screen, then Hank Brown is shown in the WCF Studio*
Hank: Welcome everyone to "A Day in the Life" where we profile a different WCF Superstar each week, and get inside access as to what its like to be a WCF Superstar!
This week, we travel with The Magnificent Bastard Adrian Archer, one of the hottest new talents in WCF today! So, without further a due, A day in the Life of Adrian Archer!
(Fade out..)
CHAPTER ONE: A MAGNIFICENT MORNING
(Scene fades in inside a dark room..The room is blacked out with heavy curtains..All of a sudden, an alarm clock blares from the table aside the bed..)
*GLORRRIOUS! I WON'T GIVE..*SMACK* THUD*
(And with that, Adrian Archer is seen leaping out of bed and opening the curtains..Next to him in bed, a shapely young woman who looks like she's been through a hurricane..Brown hair standing straight up, she wobbles out of bed..)
Woman: Adrian..
(Adrian rushes to the restroom..his Magnificent Bum flies through the door)
Adrian: (From Bathroom) No time Wanda..
Woman: Its Lindsey..
(Charles enters the room holding a Dolce And Gabana suitcase and tosses the young lady her clothing from the previous evening..As she dresses, Adrian calls from the shower..)
Adrian: Charles, please escort this young lady wherever she wants to go..I'm late..
(Scene changes to inside the bathroom..Piano from "Day In the Life" by the Beatles plays..Adrian looks in the mirror, dressed in a white button down shirt and black jeans..The song continues)
"Woke up, got outta bed..ran a comb across my head"
(Hair is immaculate, he chuckles, flashing his magnificent smile in the mirror as he heads out the door...Music and scene fade out..)
CHAPTER 2: On Air With Ryan Seacrest
Hank: We are just getting started here on WCF Networks "A Day in the Life" featuring The Magnificent Bastard Adrian Archer! Next up, we accompany him as a guest on the number one radio show in Los Angeles, On Air With Ryan Seacrest!
(Fade in..We are now in the studios of 102.7 KIIS FM Los Angeles..Adrian sits on the guest couch of "On Air With Ryan Seacrest"..Some pop music drivel is heard playing lightly, the song broadcasting on the station now..An intern tries to set Adrian up with headphones..)
Adrian: GET OFF ME! I owned Slamcast for heavens sake I know about radio! Jeez..
(Song ends..Ryan, perfectly on cue, sitting next to his female "hole" of the show segues in..)
Ryan: This is 102.7 KIIS FM..On Air with Ryan Seacrest..And we have as a guest in studio promoting his new Book "Behold The Bastard" professional Wrestler..Adri..
Adrian: Woah woah..Its The Magnificent Bastard...How are you Ryan?
Ryan: Doing well..and..
Adrian: Magnificent! Ryan, you have a Magnificent studio..And your career..Amazing..So much done for someone with really no talent..
Ryan: Excuse me?
Adrian: C'mon Ryan, I know your story, hell, we sort of came up together! You're a media slut..Do anything for a buck! You'd emcee a worm race at a Walmart if the check was big enough..
Ryan:(Chuckles uncomfortably) So tell us ab..
Adrian: "Behold The Bastard" How to be Magnificent In Every Way" in stores now..You should get a copy..
Ryan: Uh..okay..So what does a professional fake stuntman know about what I..
(Adrian leaps across the room to the table..the Hole shrieks..Adrian gets reall close to Ryans face..)
Adrian: (In a hissing whisper) Perhaps I can show you personally one day when I lock you in The Beholder and snap your little body in half! How'd you like that?
(Seacrest is actually chuckling..But breathes hard and feigns fright..)
Ryan: Go to a song..JUST DO IT!
(Song starts, mics go off..everyone laughs..)
Ryan: Adrian..you Magnificent Bastard..this should bring the ratings right back up!
Adrian: (Slaps 5, Dabs with Seacrest) Yes my good friend anything I can do to help my former running buddy..Well, I must depart..But before I do..
(Adrian pulls Seacrest in tight..)
Adrian: (In a low menacing growl) You ever insult my livelihood again, Mr. Seacrest, I will manually extract your testicles, carve them, sautee them in wine, and serve them to the beggars downstairs..Do I make myself..Clear?
(Adrian pulls away, all smiles, and walks out of the studio..Ryan appears to have urinated on himself..Either that, or his khakis have zero sweat control..Jaymie, the "Hole" stares at Adrian..)
Jaymie: Wow..what a Magnificent..
Ryan..bastard...
CHAPTER 3: A Golden Opportunity
Hank: Folks we are here Live in The Magnificent Bastards Limo outside the radio studio to get some comments from Adrian Arch..Oh here he comes!
(The door to the limo opens..Adrian is on his phone..)
Adrian:..Its perfectly fine..I'll just...WHAAA!
*THWACK*
Hank: AWWWGGUUHH!!!
(In a split second, Adrian has dropped his phone and landed a well placed heel strike to Hank Brown's nose..Usually a deadly blow, luckily for Hank, Adrian was expecting someone taller..Blood is gushing from Hanks nose..)
Adrian: HANK! WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL..Thomas, why was I not informed of this?
Thomas:(The limo driver lowers the window) Sorry sir, I tried calling..I let him in..He's from..
Adrian: I know where he is from! Jesus Mary and Joseph..My good man..Here, let us get you to a hospital..THOMAS! CEDAR SINAI! POST HASTE!
(Phone rings while Hank moans in pain, shoving napkins provided by the driver onto his face)
*CUZ THE PLAYERS GONNA HATE HATE HATE...*
Adrian: YEAH WHAT?...Uh huh..Yeah..Hank's here...Match..What match?...
(His face breaks out into a smile..)
Adrian: Well, its about time The Bastard was in the running for some Gold..Yes..Yes I will.. Thank you!
(He hangs up..Adrian turns into a figurative school boy at the news regarding his title match at Slam)
Adrian: HANK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!
Hank: Awghmrrrfff..
Adrian: Its okay..We will get you patched up soon my microphoned friend..But in the meantime, let me get something on tape for the WCF faithful..
(Adrian addresses the camera, but looks at his phone first)
Adrian: Well well well..As I check the Vegas odds on my phone, it looks like The Bastard is at 100 to 1 to win this match! Better Than Damian's 500 to 1..But still, quite a heavy underdog..
It is a testament to the great career and storied history of one Gemini Battle. Former World Champion, has been the main event for as long as I can remember..A true warrior who has fought and won some of the greatest matches in WCF history..Yes my friends, Gemini Battle is quite a decorated individual..Which is EXACTLY WHY ITS TIME TO BET ON THE BASTARD!
Hank: Gurrrggle..mwufgfhf
(Adrian looks annoyed at Hank..)
Adrian: DO YA MIND HANK!? Jeez, some people..Anyhoo..
You see, while Gemini Battle is the Television Champion, and a prestigious one at that, he is a hunted man..Teddy Blaze is itching for a match, and that is just a recent development..His real beef is with Mount. WCF himself, Thomas Uriel Bates..These two legendary competitors are already more than most here can chew..But then you add to the mix that Gemini Battle is a tortured soul..Grayson Pierce living his alter ego..At some point..Somethings gotta give..And I am willing to bet..Its gonna give At Slam!
What is it with the WCF hiring mental patients? I'm surprised Nurse Ratchet is'int handing out little cups at every event..
But I digress..
The upset..is there a more thrilling event in sport? Douglas/Tyson, the remarkable 1988 Dodgers run..There is no better spectacle than the upset..And what an upset it would be..Not in my mind, grant you..I always have faith in myself. I did as the youngest NACW Champion at 19 when, as a ham n egger I was called to the main stage when the #1 contender walked out..I wasn't supposed to win..but I did..And changed the entire company..
I was an underdog starting an Internet Radio station before podcasts were even a thing..But Slamcast became the standard bearer under my watch when nobody thought it would..When Google bought me out, my hard work and perserverance made me rich beyond my wildest dreams of avarice!
And so it goes for Sunday. Yes, I know that Damian is also in the match as well, and Damian, if you are watching, you have the opportunity to shed the bonds of failure and make a name for yourself! We face a common enemy with a prize that will put us at the top of the company..The Bastard has a short memory..If we play our cards right..we could be settling our differences over Gold! Think about it..
But a final word to Gemini Battle..Mr. Pierce, you may think you are prepared for this fight..You may think that because of your prior Wars you may be able to mail this one in..But I warn you, dear Mr. Pierce..Upsets are common in our business..I find it hard to believe a man can fight this many wars on numerous fronts and not let one front slip...
I do respect you, Mr. Pierce. Your heart, your accomplishments..But I am The Magnificent Bastard..And I live for these moments! I assure you, Mr. Pierce, you will..BEHOLD...THE BASTARD!
(The Limo stops, nearly sending its occupants to the floor..)
Adrian: Gentlemen! We have arrived! Straight through! I would stay, but I have Gold to win and must prepare!
(The cameraman and Hank Brown are thrown from the limo in front of the ER at Cedar Sinai. The limo speeds away...Hank speaks through the napkins that cover his nose..)
Hank: That...Manifisunt...Bastrdd..
(Fade to black)
