Those Pretentious Fuccbois
Aug 31, 2016 18:02:42 GMT -5
Doc Henry, Gemini Battle, and 2 more like this
Post by Zombie DankMorris on Aug 31, 2016 18:02:42 GMT -5
RP 1
WCF – Slam
TV Title contenders match
___________________
Chapter I: Those Pretentious Fuccbois
I sat on a metal bench under the cleared topped dome of 17 W. Bus station. My Doc martins squeaked as I shook my leg on the ball of the foot while I licked some papers and rolled a rat poison blunt. Sparking it up I took and hit and thought about the here, how and why regarding my career in WCF. All of my battles, all of bloodshed and broken bones. Everything that everyone tried to throw at me and yet the Pale Rider is still right here. Now, I’m aware that there are those who will bring up that Horror Kore title and how it is no longer on my shoulder; very astute deductions of those not in the know- those who observe from afar without actually doing. Zombie McMorris, the man who was never supposed to make it or amount to anything in WCF constantly finds himself making history in a way that is unique only to him. I am ranked as the seventh overall most winning wrestler in WCF history – of all time. Out of the thousand, one hundred plus guys and gals to walk in and out of WCF, Zombie McMorris is ranked seventh. Now every guy with a sample pack of Folgers crystals from the WCF HQ lobby wants to throw salt at ol’ Z because he has been and always will be on that grind. Every belt I win, is history. Every match I’m in is history. This contendership match that I see myself in this week is no different except at the end of the week I’ll be competing for my second Television Title. It will be my eleventh title and I’ll have placed myself as the fifth overall in WCF history. I know that it kills guys like Gem who want so desperately to make an impact, even though he pretty much shat on a rematch.
Truthfully speaking, it is because Gem knows he’s not worthy of a rematch. Gemini Battle shouldn’t have won Ultimate Showdown in the first place. He’s a boring clown in uninspired face paint crying about how deep and dark and brooding he is in hopes that he’ll put a gun to his head or a pill in his mouth and everyone can say that the gimmicked killed him.
Welp, they ain’t half wrong. That gimmick will kill Gemini Battle but not for the reasons that he hopes. Furthermore, as he hopes, there is nothing he can do to even come close to cracking the WCF top ten. Now he might be asking me:
‘ why, ZMAC, why? Why wont I make the top ten?’
As he gets down on his knees and sucks my THICK, for reasons unknown, other than the fact that mediocrity needs to leech off superiority.
Welp, G, you’s a man with no substance or style. Those men in that top ten of WCF talent have done something of importance to the very fabric of WCF. And I, well, I’ll always be shoe-horned in with an asterisk as number eleven. Again, truthfully speaking, the Pale Rider is cool with that. I’m cool with that because I know my place within the fabric of WCF while you’re trying to figure out ways to get stitched in. You’re like a bum across the street from me on the side of the road with a sign that reads “ will work for food” except yours reads ‘ Will suck dick for glory’. Its pathetic on the highest order. Even Doc Henry, who I fucking loathe, has done more FOR WCF than you. And that it is the fucking difference.
Its about whats FOR WCF AND NOT FROM WCF.
WCF, the guys on that top ten, have given you a career. Remember that. Somebody gave you something. You and Thomas Bates were GIVEN something by WCF. You have not given WCF anything other than contempt for the position that you have been both awarded and afforded. Even Doc Henry who will probably never win a WCF world title has done more for the history and landscape of this company for you. Guys like Oblivion, whose in this match, whose face would be on the Mount Rushmore of WCF have GIVEN to the company.
You Gem, and others in this match who expect to be given things from the Dub or the retarded heel gimmick of ‘taking’ don’t know the fucking definition of either. None of you new blood FGTs could take a ticket to stand in line at the DMV, let alone anything of merit in WCF. That is why you’re all no-name failures regardless of the fact that Seth Lerch shelled out millions of dollars on talent exchanges and rebranding. However, as far as I see it, I am the only one worthwhile enough to be put on television every week, go out there and tell the world that WCF, the true WCF deep down is still alive and well. It is something that is never, ever going to go away- No matter how many memberships Bates gets to his krispy Kreme gym of fatness and sorrow. There will always be dudes like Balfore who did it first and better. Just like Gem, you want my Internet strap even though I did it first and better.
Is this what you want? Get wrecked in your first world title match, lose to bates, get put into a match that forces you to lick old wounds while you proclaim that you want my internet strap so can get your name added to the grandslam list? That is your honest to goodness plan and it’s a shit plan. Then again, you have no creative bone in your body, That is why you and Bates are the continuation of transitional champions until Rabid, Black or myself become world champion.
You might be laughing about the prospect of ol’ Z being world champion. Well, it’ll happen one day. When that day comes, I’ll get that grandslam award that you wanted. I’ll taint that list with my vile body of work. I’ll probably be on my twelfth or thirteenth tile by then, crack the top four, and keep on keeping on knowing that I gave something to WCF and these little accolades are what is given back.
Do you honestly think that pscho chump or Dick St. Matthews or ‘Choas’ have what it takes to become a champion, let alone a TV champion and defend each and every week? Like those dudes ain’t going to get curb stomped and busted with a FGT KLR like everyone else in history. Dusted and busted like all the rest. Its not a sad song, Gem, to be like them, its just your song. It’s the song of Thomas Bates who will huff and puff about his greatness and yet There will always be Balfore. There will always be a Johnny Fly, Steve Orbit and Corey Black. Names that are inescapable to time and space. Just as there will always be a Zombie McMorris.
So you might be thinking that ol’ Z is waiting for a bus when Gem and the rest of these TV title contenders are all waiting for a miracle. The difference is that the bus, may not always be on time, but at least it’ll be here. You cant say the same about a miracle. I cannot say the same about the rest of the so called talent in this match but if Bates wants to rock that double strap then he’s going to get cock slapped. He’s going to get a load of dribble slime off the dome piece from THE VERY BEST SINGLES CHAMPIONIN WCF HISTORY.
I’m going into this match Gem, unlike you, with real HIZTORY IN MIND. I’m ready willing and more than fucking able to drop six, seven, ten, fifteen, dudes on their skull with a AXE WOUND and pick up a three count and win this whole damn thing. Purely because it is substance, which you don’t have over the style that you STILL DON’T HAVE.
But hey, good luck with those new rules that govern that TV strap. Gem, you couldn’t even get the fuck out of bed with a two kay promo format, let alone win a fuckin strap. But ol’ Z is killin it while waiting for a fucking bus, while you and everyone waits for a fucking clue and crumb, like a fucking ground up Nancy Drew novel. Ol' Z was build for this. one Kay, two, five, seven, ten, infinate promos, twitter boards - hell I can kill you FGTs in haiku.
Run jobber, run fast.
falling upwards down the hill
glory never comes.
So theres a clue for you to choke on.
I’m taking out Thomas Bates, something you can never do, I’ll take that TV title strap and shine it up real fuckin nice ( LOL like that HORROR KORE STRAP) and it to the fucking moon.
Tell me, G, Do they get Dominos up there on the fucking moon? Cuz you gone be starving after I jack you up and send you there for your pretentious fuccboi troubles.
Oh shit, here comes my bus.
Are you and everyone else still waiting for that miracle to come?
LOL
FGT
DEUCES BITCH
Word count: 1587
WCF – Slam
TV Title contenders match
___________________
Chapter I: Those Pretentious Fuccbois
I sat on a metal bench under the cleared topped dome of 17 W. Bus station. My Doc martins squeaked as I shook my leg on the ball of the foot while I licked some papers and rolled a rat poison blunt. Sparking it up I took and hit and thought about the here, how and why regarding my career in WCF. All of my battles, all of bloodshed and broken bones. Everything that everyone tried to throw at me and yet the Pale Rider is still right here. Now, I’m aware that there are those who will bring up that Horror Kore title and how it is no longer on my shoulder; very astute deductions of those not in the know- those who observe from afar without actually doing. Zombie McMorris, the man who was never supposed to make it or amount to anything in WCF constantly finds himself making history in a way that is unique only to him. I am ranked as the seventh overall most winning wrestler in WCF history – of all time. Out of the thousand, one hundred plus guys and gals to walk in and out of WCF, Zombie McMorris is ranked seventh. Now every guy with a sample pack of Folgers crystals from the WCF HQ lobby wants to throw salt at ol’ Z because he has been and always will be on that grind. Every belt I win, is history. Every match I’m in is history. This contendership match that I see myself in this week is no different except at the end of the week I’ll be competing for my second Television Title. It will be my eleventh title and I’ll have placed myself as the fifth overall in WCF history. I know that it kills guys like Gem who want so desperately to make an impact, even though he pretty much shat on a rematch.
Truthfully speaking, it is because Gem knows he’s not worthy of a rematch. Gemini Battle shouldn’t have won Ultimate Showdown in the first place. He’s a boring clown in uninspired face paint crying about how deep and dark and brooding he is in hopes that he’ll put a gun to his head or a pill in his mouth and everyone can say that the gimmicked killed him.
Welp, they ain’t half wrong. That gimmick will kill Gemini Battle but not for the reasons that he hopes. Furthermore, as he hopes, there is nothing he can do to even come close to cracking the WCF top ten. Now he might be asking me:
‘ why, ZMAC, why? Why wont I make the top ten?’
As he gets down on his knees and sucks my THICK, for reasons unknown, other than the fact that mediocrity needs to leech off superiority.
Welp, G, you’s a man with no substance or style. Those men in that top ten of WCF talent have done something of importance to the very fabric of WCF. And I, well, I’ll always be shoe-horned in with an asterisk as number eleven. Again, truthfully speaking, the Pale Rider is cool with that. I’m cool with that because I know my place within the fabric of WCF while you’re trying to figure out ways to get stitched in. You’re like a bum across the street from me on the side of the road with a sign that reads “ will work for food” except yours reads ‘ Will suck dick for glory’. Its pathetic on the highest order. Even Doc Henry, who I fucking loathe, has done more FOR WCF than you. And that it is the fucking difference.
Its about whats FOR WCF AND NOT FROM WCF.
WCF, the guys on that top ten, have given you a career. Remember that. Somebody gave you something. You and Thomas Bates were GIVEN something by WCF. You have not given WCF anything other than contempt for the position that you have been both awarded and afforded. Even Doc Henry who will probably never win a WCF world title has done more for the history and landscape of this company for you. Guys like Oblivion, whose in this match, whose face would be on the Mount Rushmore of WCF have GIVEN to the company.
You Gem, and others in this match who expect to be given things from the Dub or the retarded heel gimmick of ‘taking’ don’t know the fucking definition of either. None of you new blood FGTs could take a ticket to stand in line at the DMV, let alone anything of merit in WCF. That is why you’re all no-name failures regardless of the fact that Seth Lerch shelled out millions of dollars on talent exchanges and rebranding. However, as far as I see it, I am the only one worthwhile enough to be put on television every week, go out there and tell the world that WCF, the true WCF deep down is still alive and well. It is something that is never, ever going to go away- No matter how many memberships Bates gets to his krispy Kreme gym of fatness and sorrow. There will always be dudes like Balfore who did it first and better. Just like Gem, you want my Internet strap even though I did it first and better.
Is this what you want? Get wrecked in your first world title match, lose to bates, get put into a match that forces you to lick old wounds while you proclaim that you want my internet strap so can get your name added to the grandslam list? That is your honest to goodness plan and it’s a shit plan. Then again, you have no creative bone in your body, That is why you and Bates are the continuation of transitional champions until Rabid, Black or myself become world champion.
You might be laughing about the prospect of ol’ Z being world champion. Well, it’ll happen one day. When that day comes, I’ll get that grandslam award that you wanted. I’ll taint that list with my vile body of work. I’ll probably be on my twelfth or thirteenth tile by then, crack the top four, and keep on keeping on knowing that I gave something to WCF and these little accolades are what is given back.
Do you honestly think that pscho chump or Dick St. Matthews or ‘Choas’ have what it takes to become a champion, let alone a TV champion and defend each and every week? Like those dudes ain’t going to get curb stomped and busted with a FGT KLR like everyone else in history. Dusted and busted like all the rest. Its not a sad song, Gem, to be like them, its just your song. It’s the song of Thomas Bates who will huff and puff about his greatness and yet There will always be Balfore. There will always be a Johnny Fly, Steve Orbit and Corey Black. Names that are inescapable to time and space. Just as there will always be a Zombie McMorris.
So you might be thinking that ol’ Z is waiting for a bus when Gem and the rest of these TV title contenders are all waiting for a miracle. The difference is that the bus, may not always be on time, but at least it’ll be here. You cant say the same about a miracle. I cannot say the same about the rest of the so called talent in this match but if Bates wants to rock that double strap then he’s going to get cock slapped. He’s going to get a load of dribble slime off the dome piece from THE VERY BEST SINGLES CHAMPIONIN WCF HISTORY.
I’m going into this match Gem, unlike you, with real HIZTORY IN MIND. I’m ready willing and more than fucking able to drop six, seven, ten, fifteen, dudes on their skull with a AXE WOUND and pick up a three count and win this whole damn thing. Purely because it is substance, which you don’t have over the style that you STILL DON’T HAVE.
But hey, good luck with those new rules that govern that TV strap. Gem, you couldn’t even get the fuck out of bed with a two kay promo format, let alone win a fuckin strap. But ol’ Z is killin it while waiting for a fucking bus, while you and everyone waits for a fucking clue and crumb, like a fucking ground up Nancy Drew novel. Ol' Z was build for this. one Kay, two, five, seven, ten, infinate promos, twitter boards - hell I can kill you FGTs in haiku.
Run jobber, run fast.
falling upwards down the hill
glory never comes.
So theres a clue for you to choke on.
I’m taking out Thomas Bates, something you can never do, I’ll take that TV title strap and shine it up real fuckin nice ( LOL like that HORROR KORE STRAP) and it to the fucking moon.
Tell me, G, Do they get Dominos up there on the fucking moon? Cuz you gone be starving after I jack you up and send you there for your pretentious fuccboi troubles.
Oh shit, here comes my bus.
Are you and everyone else still waiting for that miracle to come?
LOL
FGT
DEUCES BITCH
Word count: 1587
