CJ Phoenix at the 2016 WCF Slam Games
Aug 21, 2016 3:39:06 GMT -5
Teo Blaze, Lilith, and 1 more like this
Post by CJ Phoenix on Aug 21, 2016 3:39:06 GMT -5
The camera pans to the handler CJ Phoenix. He is rocking back and forth in a rocking chair while drinking a milkshake. He's watching highlights of the 2016 Rio Olympics.
CJ Phoenix: How in the hell does someone run that fast!?
He speaks to the camera as it's facing him without looking at it.
Phoenix: Are you trespassing, sir?
Cameraman: Oh. Sorry.
The cameraman goes back and knocks on the door.
Phoenix: Come in.
The cameraman walks up to where he was previously. This time, CJ Phoenix turns his head to look at the camera.
Phoenix: Hey there. I'm CJ Phoenix. I bet you're wondering why I'm here instead of my character.
He switches the channel of his flatscreen TV to game mode and turns on his PS4. Once it loads, he selects a video labeled "WCF 2K17 Canon Mode-CJ Phoenix(8/21/16)"
Phoenix: If you're wondering why it says "2K17" when it's 2016, ask 2K Sports. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Don't ask questions. Just watch the RP.
CJ starts the video as the camera turns toward the TV.
Game Mode Selected-Canon Mode
Character Selected-CJ Phoenix
Game data successfully loaded.
The sight and sound of a plane landing in Baton Rouge can be seen and heard. The passengers exit the plane one at a time. The last passenger to exit is CJ Phoenix. As he walks out of the airport, he yawns as if he stayed up all night to board a flight just before sunrise because he did. He's walking with his travel bag when Kaiyah pulls up in front of him driving his Hellcat. Phoenix places his travel bag in the back seat before sitting in the passenger seat.
Phoenix: An angel driving a Hellcat. What are the odds?
Kaiyah: I say that to myself every time you get behind the wheel of this car. You look tired.
Phoenix: I'm more tired than a Michelin shop.
Kaiyah: Well why didn't you sleep on the plane?
Phoenix: Two. Crying. Babies. And there was a fight.
Kaiyah: Really? A fight on a plane?
Phoenix: Yeah. And you won't believe this. One of them was a flight attendant.
Kaiyah: What the hell!?
Phoenix: Right! It was like Slam went into overtime.
Kaiyah: That's ridiculous.
Phoenix: That it is. Is our home still...well, a home?
Kaiyah: Thankfully, yes.
Phoenix: Good.
The two of them make it home and Phoenix immediately finds his bed and dives on it. Almost instantaneously, he falls asleep. Eight hours later, it's late in the afternoon and CJ has awakened. He checks his phone to see who he is facing at the upcoming Slam.
Phoenix: A tag match? Again? And I'm teaming with Teddy Blaze...again? Well I guess he wasn't that bad to team with, so I'm cool with it. Night Rider and Adam Young are our opponents? That's like mixing oil and water. I might sit on the turnbuckle and wait for them to implode.
He exits his bed and walks to the window. As he looks at the sky, he takes a deep breath.
Phoenix: Of course, I have to make sure the same doesn't happen to Blaze and myself. Know what? I'm gonna call him so we can discuss some strategy.
CJ calls Teddy Blaze. The phone rings a few times before it's answered.
Blaze: What?
Phoenix: Well hey to you too, damn.
Blaze: I don't have time for this.
Phoenix: Then get a watch because you making time this time. We got a match Sunday agai-
Blaze: Yeah yeah yeah. Seth let your sorry ass tag along with me against Adam Young and Night Rider.
Phoenix: Exquisith me? I'm the one who picked up the win for the team.
Blaze: You think that impresses me? I don't give a damn if you got the pinfall. I let you do it because I felt sorry for you. Why did you even call me?
Phoenix: To discuss strategy before our match?
Blaze: Strategy? You want strategy? How about this. Stay out of my way and don't fuck it up for us.
Phoenix: You know I'm getting sick of your ungrateful ass. I'm over here tryna build up your prestige and you acting like a jackass.
Blaze: YOU? Build up my prestige? I'm the Internet Champion. When's the last time you won a title?
Phoenix: Lemme make this clear to you. You didn't win that title. You RNG'ed and it got handed to you. A third-rate pornstar would make a better Internet Champion than you.
Blaze: Listen up and listen good. I don't like you. Just because we won last Sunday doesn't mean we're friends. I didn't even want you as a partner last week, nor am I happy about being stuck with you again this week. I don't need partners.
Phoenix: What you do need is some common sense. I don't give a damn if you didn't want me as a partner last week or this week. Personally, I'd've been better off with Steve Nash or Chris Paul. At least I would know that they're team players. I don't feel like carrying your selfish ass through this match. I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to. So you're gonna be a team player and Blaze it.
Blaze: I know you're not giving me orders.
Phoenix: Blaze it, Teddy! Blaze it!
Blaze: Are you high or something?
Phoenix: Not that blaze it, moron. I meant YOU gotta Blaze it. You gotta Teddy Blaze it! Say it with me!
Blaze: You tell me to "Blaze it" one more time, and I'll burn you and your house down.
Phoenix: That supposed to scare me? Come on down! You'll be the next contestant on The Kick Is Right.
Blaze: Just show up and wrestle. We should beat Young and Rider as long as you don't drop the ball.
Phoenix: You mean as long as I put the team on my back? Alright. I can do that. The only question that flows through my mind is who am I gonna pin. Will it be Adam Young, the guy that's been the equivalent of a turd from Satan? Or will it be Night Rider, the equivalent of a turd from Adam Young?
Blaze: C. None of the above. I'm going to pick up the win.
Phoenix: Ahahahahahaha! That's adorable!
Blaze: Fuck off!
Phoenix: Blaze it!
Teddy Blaze hangs up.
Phoenix: You could've at least said "bye" or something! Damn. Stingy ass.
He looks out the window once more and thinks about the people that are fighting to survive.
Phoenix: There has to be something I can do, but I'm gonna need some dough to help as many of them as I can.
For the next few days, CJ Phoenix helps out some of the fellow East Baton Rouge residents. He even went as far as to sell his prized 2015 Dodge Charger Hellcat so that he could have more money in his arsenal to use.(I would go into more detail, but I've already explained it in the internet boards).
CJ Phoenix has boarded a flight from Baton Rouge to Columbus. While he is there, he decides to make a video on his phone. He records himself as he pulls out his Nintendo 3DS. He goes through his games list and decides to play Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.
Phoenix: Check this out. This Sunday at Slam, yours truly will once more team up with Teddy Blaze It to face Wario and Waluigi. Scratch that. Sorry Waluigi and Wario. You guys actually work well together. My opponents are Adam Young and Night Rider. Adam. Since I showed up, you've been that guy that everyone loves to hate. A truly shitty person from sun up to sundown. However, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't respect you after that King of the Deathmatch tournament. Even if you did only score a single point, you competed in five matches that were worth something in a five day span. That takes skill. Of course, every league has a team that essentially everyone leaves in the dust. I will give you your props, Adam. You're consistent and you're persistent. I like that. I know you're gonna show up and brawl. I know it won't be easy. You know you'll show up ready to fight. Also, you know just like I know, that you won't beat me. Maybe you'll avoid taking the fall, but you won't get your arm raised when the match ends. You wanna know why Blaze and I will win Sunday? My partner may be batshit crazy, but at least I know when I reach out for the tag, he's gonna be there to accept it. Can you say the same, Adam? Are you able to trust Night Rider? Do you even think he gives a rat's ass about you? Matter of fact, do you even give a rat's ass about him? You see, Adam, this is not just a tag team match. It's a pair of races. Blaze and I are racing to see who will pick up the victory. Meanwhile, you and your partner will be racing to see who can turn their back on the other first. But hey, look at the bright side. At least you'll be taking home the silver medal.
Phoenix goes to the events and selects volleyball. He chooses Rosalina as his character and Blaze as his partner.
Phoenix: Y'all see this? This is cohesion. Rosalina's my favorite character, so obviously I picked her. Another obvious thing is me picking Blaze as my partner because I'll have someone with the name "Blaze" as a partner in my match Sunday. So why volleyball? The reason is because it's a team sport. It takes both members to walk away with a win. Unless you're Mr. Fantastic or Elastigirl, you can't win a 2 on 2 game of volleyball if it's 2 on 1. This Sunday will NOT be a 2 on 2 tag match. It'll be a team against two individuals. It's 2 on 1 on 1. Night Rider. I hope you're listening. Actually, I know you're listening. You're further out of your element than a fireball in the ocean, son. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think you know how teamwork works. You're more of an individual competitor. Adam Young can't trust you and you know it. Hell, he should know it too. I wouldn't be surprised if you turn your back on him, nor would I be surprised if he turned on you. Regardless, someone's getting hit with a Talon Kick. It's just a matter of who gets the honor of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Night Rider and Adam Young DO NOT make a great team. Then again, maybe that's not the case. You might prove me wrong. You are one of those Angels of Death or whatever you call yourselves. You might actually be a great team player...until Adam Young gets more attention than you. So go ahead. Bring your hatred. Bring your animosity. Have the Waaahhhh-mbulance on speed dial because Blaze and I are gonna pick you apart. Yes. Blaze and I. As a team, Teddy. I know you're watching this too, Teddy. Blaze it! Get your head out of your ass and Blaze it! We were on the same page last week, and this week will be no different. I don't like having to keep your head above the water any more than you do, but when Sunday hits, we WILL be the better team, even if I have to tag you in as cannon fodder. Don't disappoint me, Teddy Blaze! Don't make me have to drag your carcass across the finish line, because I can and I will if I have to! Whether I have to beat a redneck until his white skin is stained with red blood and black and blue bruises, or I have to be the Angel that killed Death, I'm walking out of Slam with a win. You're welcome, partner.
CJ wins the game and watches the celebratory ceremony as his team gets the gold medals. He continues playing team based games all the way until his plane lands. The screen fades to black as the video ends.
The camera pans back to the handler CJ Phoenix.
CJ Phoenix: Well, thanks for watching ladies and gentlemen. That's all the time we have for now. See you next week!
The camera backs away as it fades out.
CJ Phoenix: How in the hell does someone run that fast!?
He speaks to the camera as it's facing him without looking at it.
Phoenix: Are you trespassing, sir?
Cameraman: Oh. Sorry.
The cameraman goes back and knocks on the door.
Phoenix: Come in.
The cameraman walks up to where he was previously. This time, CJ Phoenix turns his head to look at the camera.
Phoenix: Hey there. I'm CJ Phoenix. I bet you're wondering why I'm here instead of my character.
He switches the channel of his flatscreen TV to game mode and turns on his PS4. Once it loads, he selects a video labeled "WCF 2K17 Canon Mode-CJ Phoenix(8/21/16)"
Phoenix: If you're wondering why it says "2K17" when it's 2016, ask 2K Sports. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Don't ask questions. Just watch the RP.
CJ starts the video as the camera turns toward the TV.
Skybox Productions Presents
In cooperation with the Wrestling Championship Federation
Inspired by the Games of the 31st Olympiad(Rio 2016)
Featuring special guest Teddy Blaze
CJ Phoenix at the 2016 WCF Slam Games
PRESS START
Game Mode Selected-Canon Mode
Character Selected-CJ Phoenix
Game data successfully loaded.
"Blazing Phoenix"(Event-Mens tag team wrestling)
August 15th
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
The sight and sound of a plane landing in Baton Rouge can be seen and heard. The passengers exit the plane one at a time. The last passenger to exit is CJ Phoenix. As he walks out of the airport, he yawns as if he stayed up all night to board a flight just before sunrise because he did. He's walking with his travel bag when Kaiyah pulls up in front of him driving his Hellcat. Phoenix places his travel bag in the back seat before sitting in the passenger seat.
Phoenix: An angel driving a Hellcat. What are the odds?
Kaiyah: I say that to myself every time you get behind the wheel of this car. You look tired.
Phoenix: I'm more tired than a Michelin shop.
Kaiyah: Well why didn't you sleep on the plane?
Phoenix: Two. Crying. Babies. And there was a fight.
Kaiyah: Really? A fight on a plane?
Phoenix: Yeah. And you won't believe this. One of them was a flight attendant.
Kaiyah: What the hell!?
Phoenix: Right! It was like Slam went into overtime.
Kaiyah: That's ridiculous.
Phoenix: That it is. Is our home still...well, a home?
Kaiyah: Thankfully, yes.
Phoenix: Good.
The two of them make it home and Phoenix immediately finds his bed and dives on it. Almost instantaneously, he falls asleep. Eight hours later, it's late in the afternoon and CJ has awakened. He checks his phone to see who he is facing at the upcoming Slam.
Phoenix: A tag match? Again? And I'm teaming with Teddy Blaze...again? Well I guess he wasn't that bad to team with, so I'm cool with it. Night Rider and Adam Young are our opponents? That's like mixing oil and water. I might sit on the turnbuckle and wait for them to implode.
He exits his bed and walks to the window. As he looks at the sky, he takes a deep breath.
Phoenix: Of course, I have to make sure the same doesn't happen to Blaze and myself. Know what? I'm gonna call him so we can discuss some strategy.
CJ calls Teddy Blaze. The phone rings a few times before it's answered.
Blaze: What?
Phoenix: Well hey to you too, damn.
Blaze: I don't have time for this.
Phoenix: Then get a watch because you making time this time. We got a match Sunday agai-
Blaze: Yeah yeah yeah. Seth let your sorry ass tag along with me against Adam Young and Night Rider.
Phoenix: Exquisith me? I'm the one who picked up the win for the team.
Blaze: You think that impresses me? I don't give a damn if you got the pinfall. I let you do it because I felt sorry for you. Why did you even call me?
Phoenix: To discuss strategy before our match?
Blaze: Strategy? You want strategy? How about this. Stay out of my way and don't fuck it up for us.
Phoenix: You know I'm getting sick of your ungrateful ass. I'm over here tryna build up your prestige and you acting like a jackass.
Blaze: YOU? Build up my prestige? I'm the Internet Champion. When's the last time you won a title?
Phoenix: Lemme make this clear to you. You didn't win that title. You RNG'ed and it got handed to you. A third-rate pornstar would make a better Internet Champion than you.
Blaze: Listen up and listen good. I don't like you. Just because we won last Sunday doesn't mean we're friends. I didn't even want you as a partner last week, nor am I happy about being stuck with you again this week. I don't need partners.
Phoenix: What you do need is some common sense. I don't give a damn if you didn't want me as a partner last week or this week. Personally, I'd've been better off with Steve Nash or Chris Paul. At least I would know that they're team players. I don't feel like carrying your selfish ass through this match. I could if I wanted to, but I don't want to. So you're gonna be a team player and Blaze it.
Blaze: I know you're not giving me orders.
Phoenix: Blaze it, Teddy! Blaze it!
Blaze: Are you high or something?
Phoenix: Not that blaze it, moron. I meant YOU gotta Blaze it. You gotta Teddy Blaze it! Say it with me!
Blaze: You tell me to "Blaze it" one more time, and I'll burn you and your house down.
Phoenix: That supposed to scare me? Come on down! You'll be the next contestant on The Kick Is Right.
Blaze: Just show up and wrestle. We should beat Young and Rider as long as you don't drop the ball.
Phoenix: You mean as long as I put the team on my back? Alright. I can do that. The only question that flows through my mind is who am I gonna pin. Will it be Adam Young, the guy that's been the equivalent of a turd from Satan? Or will it be Night Rider, the equivalent of a turd from Adam Young?
Blaze: C. None of the above. I'm going to pick up the win.
Phoenix: Ahahahahahaha! That's adorable!
Blaze: Fuck off!
Phoenix: Blaze it!
Teddy Blaze hangs up.
Phoenix: You could've at least said "bye" or something! Damn. Stingy ass.
He looks out the window once more and thinks about the people that are fighting to survive.
Phoenix: There has to be something I can do, but I'm gonna need some dough to help as many of them as I can.
For the next few days, CJ Phoenix helps out some of the fellow East Baton Rouge residents. He even went as far as to sell his prized 2015 Dodge Charger Hellcat so that he could have more money in his arsenal to use.(I would go into more detail, but I've already explained it in the internet boards).
August 20th
Columbus, Ohio
CJ Phoenix has boarded a flight from Baton Rouge to Columbus. While he is there, he decides to make a video on his phone. He records himself as he pulls out his Nintendo 3DS. He goes through his games list and decides to play Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.
Phoenix: Check this out. This Sunday at Slam, yours truly will once more team up with Teddy Blaze It to face Wario and Waluigi. Scratch that. Sorry Waluigi and Wario. You guys actually work well together. My opponents are Adam Young and Night Rider. Adam. Since I showed up, you've been that guy that everyone loves to hate. A truly shitty person from sun up to sundown. However, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't respect you after that King of the Deathmatch tournament. Even if you did only score a single point, you competed in five matches that were worth something in a five day span. That takes skill. Of course, every league has a team that essentially everyone leaves in the dust. I will give you your props, Adam. You're consistent and you're persistent. I like that. I know you're gonna show up and brawl. I know it won't be easy. You know you'll show up ready to fight. Also, you know just like I know, that you won't beat me. Maybe you'll avoid taking the fall, but you won't get your arm raised when the match ends. You wanna know why Blaze and I will win Sunday? My partner may be batshit crazy, but at least I know when I reach out for the tag, he's gonna be there to accept it. Can you say the same, Adam? Are you able to trust Night Rider? Do you even think he gives a rat's ass about you? Matter of fact, do you even give a rat's ass about him? You see, Adam, this is not just a tag team match. It's a pair of races. Blaze and I are racing to see who will pick up the victory. Meanwhile, you and your partner will be racing to see who can turn their back on the other first. But hey, look at the bright side. At least you'll be taking home the silver medal.
Phoenix goes to the events and selects volleyball. He chooses Rosalina as his character and Blaze as his partner.
Phoenix: Y'all see this? This is cohesion. Rosalina's my favorite character, so obviously I picked her. Another obvious thing is me picking Blaze as my partner because I'll have someone with the name "Blaze" as a partner in my match Sunday. So why volleyball? The reason is because it's a team sport. It takes both members to walk away with a win. Unless you're Mr. Fantastic or Elastigirl, you can't win a 2 on 2 game of volleyball if it's 2 on 1. This Sunday will NOT be a 2 on 2 tag match. It'll be a team against two individuals. It's 2 on 1 on 1. Night Rider. I hope you're listening. Actually, I know you're listening. You're further out of your element than a fireball in the ocean, son. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think you know how teamwork works. You're more of an individual competitor. Adam Young can't trust you and you know it. Hell, he should know it too. I wouldn't be surprised if you turn your back on him, nor would I be surprised if he turned on you. Regardless, someone's getting hit with a Talon Kick. It's just a matter of who gets the honor of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Night Rider and Adam Young DO NOT make a great team. Then again, maybe that's not the case. You might prove me wrong. You are one of those Angels of Death or whatever you call yourselves. You might actually be a great team player...until Adam Young gets more attention than you. So go ahead. Bring your hatred. Bring your animosity. Have the Waaahhhh-mbulance on speed dial because Blaze and I are gonna pick you apart. Yes. Blaze and I. As a team, Teddy. I know you're watching this too, Teddy. Blaze it! Get your head out of your ass and Blaze it! We were on the same page last week, and this week will be no different. I don't like having to keep your head above the water any more than you do, but when Sunday hits, we WILL be the better team, even if I have to tag you in as cannon fodder. Don't disappoint me, Teddy Blaze! Don't make me have to drag your carcass across the finish line, because I can and I will if I have to! Whether I have to beat a redneck until his white skin is stained with red blood and black and blue bruises, or I have to be the Angel that killed Death, I'm walking out of Slam with a win. You're welcome, partner.
CJ wins the game and watches the celebratory ceremony as his team gets the gold medals. He continues playing team based games all the way until his plane lands. The screen fades to black as the video ends.
The camera pans back to the handler CJ Phoenix.
CJ Phoenix: Well, thanks for watching ladies and gentlemen. That's all the time we have for now. See you next week!
The camera backs away as it fades out.
