Post by "The Real Deal" Jason O'Neal on Aug 17, 2016 23:33:49 GMT -5
:: A sweltering hot summer day in Huntsville, Alabama is the scene when the camera comes up on one of the scenic water by ways that crisscross the state of Alabama. The humidity is so thick that the camera can almost pick it up in view. The scene switches to a frame of a home. Outside of that home upon the fence line proudly waves a confederate flag. A familiar voice fills the void of silence from just outside of the picture…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Get a shot of this. I don’t want anyone thinking this is some Hollywood stage.
:: The camera pans to show a mailbox. Upon the mailbox is the name Bates.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL (from outside of the frame): That’s right (the camera switches to show Jason and one of his friends) ladies and gentlemen… Thomas Bates’ place.
THE FRIEND: I still can’t believe you are going to do what you are thinking. You said they warned you what would happen.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: That’s why the hell I’m not doing it, Scotty, you are.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: What do you mean me? The guy is like eight foot tall.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Look, I have a title shot this week. I personally can’t do anything to jeopardize that. If I am arrested, my face goes all over and I lose my shot.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: He’s 600 pounds what the hell happens if he comes out of that place?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: He’s training or something. No one’s home. Relax, and besides I’m paying you…
SCOTTY THE FRIEND (considering the odds): He could be in there. I don’t think any amount of money is worth doing that.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Number One, he’s not there. Number two, you are the best at breaking and entering. Number three, you f*cking own me for bailing your ass out last week. And number four (Jason pulls a nine millimeter pistol from his waistline and Scotty is visibly shaken) I’ve killed for less defiance. Get your ass over that fence and do what I said.
:: Scott doesn’t hesitate and he is over the fence in a flash…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH(O’Neal’s personal camera man from behind the camera): You want me to follow him?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: F*ck no! That lunatic might be in there and kill that f*cker for this. I don’t want to invest in another camera man.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Good call…
:: In the span of minutes and engine roars and the camera pans to see Jason opening the gates to an approaching motorcycle. Indeed Scotty has commandeered a particular Harley Davidson. Jason flags Scott down…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL (To Travis): Get a shot of this. I want this big TUB of Lard to see that this is indeed his bike.
:: Sure enough the bike matched the description. 2015 Harley-Davidson Heritage Soft-tail with Ape Hangers and extended Sissy Bar. Paint is black, with "BATES" written in big red bold impact font on the sides of the gas tank. Under "BATES" is the initials "DRG" written in white time’s new roman font. A person would have to be an idiot to try to make the claim that Jason O’Neal had not gotten Scotty to steal Bate’s prized bike…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Take her around the block, Scotty.
:: With a halfhearted salute, Scotty roars off into the horizon. Jason stands on infront of Bates’ home in frame of the camera. As the roar of the engine fades away, Jason begins talking to the camera and anyone else who cares to listen…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I drove six hours from New Orleans to Huntsville to piss off the jolly green giant. In three weeks here in the WcF, I have pissed off the low card. I sent Gallagher to a shrink, Dion f*cking shit himself, I cost Izuzu what was left of his sanity as he went around beating up on corpses and shit. What the hell would make this situation any different from those? Bates’ frustration and rage emerges from Seth’s shitty management. Tommy Boy has no right to be mad at me, Seth made the match.
Seth finally woke up, he realized he needed to put a title on someone the fans wanted to see. Someone people would pay money to see. Alpine, Bishop, Slane, Bates…all of these guys who have been doing odd jobs for the establishment for a while now have bored the fans to death. No one was watching. Three weeks ago…I changed that. Three weeks ago, I made people pay attention by pissing off people.
Bates, if there is any f*cking doubt that your bike just went around that curve, you are a f*cking idiot. Yeah, I heard how pissed you would be. I heard what the retribution would be… f*ck… do what you have to do. All of that was predicated on me stealing the bike…as you can see sir, clean hands (he holds up his hands to show they are free from discrepancy). You have been circle jerking in leadership for over a year now, I get it… for show…for gimmick you pretend to hate Seth, but behind camera you orchestrate every f*cking thing.
You wanted to solve a bunch of problems with this match. Number one, you f*cking suck and bore people to death. No one wants to watch your slow fat ass bumble around the ring. Ratings were falling and you need me to pick them up. Number two, you actually think you can f*cking beat Alpine and Battle at Revenge. How f*cking stupid are you? Alpine, I have no doubt in my mind you can beat that slobbernut on a good day, but Battle is just f*cking better than you. He proved it. He won Ultimate Showdown. How the f*ck do you get another shot? Seth’s pony…I guess.
You are 20 and f*cking 17 and you brag about that shit. You have it posted on Instagram and Twitter like it is an accomplishment. If you were working at any job and your production was almost fifty percent, you wouldn’t be in line for a promotion. I want you to think about something…Bates, Seth does chagrin win you make a move for the top…you two plan it out weeks in advance. It is stale and the people know it. That is why you had to give this young rook a shot.
You graduated from the University of Memphis, right Bates? That’s like the Havard of Retard schools. Congrats on your degree in History it obviously is full of shit. Bates…you are a proud confederate. I understand, I wore a Saints jersey even when they sucked in the nineties. You have a right to back a loser if you want. However, when study law at Tulane… think I got you beat there f*ck for brains… before I dropped out we looked at the constitution. Hell, in high school we looked at it. Give a little glance at Article 1 Section 10. The part about no state joining a confederacy. You f*cks had no lawful explanation for what you did. Furthermore, Trumpkin, you lost take the f*cking flag down.
:: Jason walks over to the Confederate flag waving over Bates’ property and detatches it. He simply lets it fall to the ground…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Bates…I understand you have history in the WcF… You have been closer to the top than I ever have and if I keep doing sh*t like this…probably ever will be. You f*cks in the front office can’t handle my style. However, please spare me the f*cking details. I don’t care and if I did I’d do what any person would do and f*cking google you. Probably come up next to horse porn or something, but I don’t know your history and I don’t care. Let’s see a real f*cking dialogue. You are at the top of the card and I just got to mid-card level…WOW ME… Intimidate me you gorilla sized piece of genetic accident.
Furthermore, I am not Alpine or Gemini Battle… don’t waste half your airtime talking about those f*cks. You have me this week for your gold. You might want to think long and hard about overlooking me. You are a couple days away from losing the only thing that keeps you semi-relevant in this sport.
TUB-o-Lard… do me a favor…when you see this…try just try not to piss yourself in anger. Try not to give vailed threats about how you are going to kill me and all this bullshit. You are a f*cking history teacher who happens to weightlift. You had the look…WcF found you, thought you could develop and you got out because you couldn’t deal with the students at South Alabama laughing at your fat ass. One year later you are facing a newbie in a low card match and in a couple of weeks you will lose yet another world title shot. Wasted investment… no development.
You are supposed to get a little better with time right? I mean..week after week… the same old bullshit that no one watches. I look forward to seeing you reply promo. I can’t wait. Try and deny it’s your bike… Every time you ride it from now on, you will see me. (Jason pulls out a WcF promo sticker of himself) Why is that bike so special Bates? Did dead daddy give it to you or something? Never seen a grown man addicted to anything that lame ever… Shit even if Scotty wrecks the piece of shit, I have enough to buy 2,000 more of the same exact kind.
:: Just then the roar of the engine is heard fading in and Scotty is caught in frame coming back from around the curve. Jason waves him over. The growl of the engine is loud enough to muffle anything Jason says to Scotty. Jason motions for Scotty to park the bike in the driveway. The bike is left on the kickstand and the engine is shut off…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Nice timing Scotty, I was just talking about you wrecking this hunk of iron.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: Not a scratch on her. Not bad for the first time on a bike.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You said you had ridden a bike before.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: Everyone has when they were little.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: So you mean to tell me you heard me talking about stealing Bates’ bike and you came along thinking it was a bicycle.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: I figured it out in Hattiesburg.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Why didn’t you tell me something…
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: Figured you would shoot me.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Good point. What do you think Bates’ racist ass would have done if your black ass would have wrecked his bike.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: You are a lot scarier than a fat sumovabitch who is clearly big for nothing.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Let’s leave the bike in the drive way so he sees it when he gets home and do me a favor… (hands Scotty the sticker) Put this right over the "BATES.
"
:: Scotty obliges…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Let’s get the f*ck out of this god forsaken shithole. I hope the loserific air isn’t contagious.
:: Jason and Scotty begin walking toward some undefined location where they parked the car out of sight. The camera begins to fade, but catches one final conversation audibly…
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: WcF Television Champion…“The Real Deal” Jason O’Neal
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Does have a nice ring to it doesn’t it…
How mad do you think Bates' will be when he finds out I let a crackhead ride his bike.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND/CRACKHEAD: You said you wouldn't tell anybody.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I didn't...It was just the camera.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND/CRACKHEAD: Oh ok...
:: Scene fades to black…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Get a shot of this. I don’t want anyone thinking this is some Hollywood stage.
:: The camera pans to show a mailbox. Upon the mailbox is the name Bates.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL (from outside of the frame): That’s right (the camera switches to show Jason and one of his friends) ladies and gentlemen… Thomas Bates’ place.
THE FRIEND: I still can’t believe you are going to do what you are thinking. You said they warned you what would happen.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: That’s why the hell I’m not doing it, Scotty, you are.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: What do you mean me? The guy is like eight foot tall.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Look, I have a title shot this week. I personally can’t do anything to jeopardize that. If I am arrested, my face goes all over and I lose my shot.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: He’s 600 pounds what the hell happens if he comes out of that place?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: He’s training or something. No one’s home. Relax, and besides I’m paying you…
SCOTTY THE FRIEND (considering the odds): He could be in there. I don’t think any amount of money is worth doing that.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Number One, he’s not there. Number two, you are the best at breaking and entering. Number three, you f*cking own me for bailing your ass out last week. And number four (Jason pulls a nine millimeter pistol from his waistline and Scotty is visibly shaken) I’ve killed for less defiance. Get your ass over that fence and do what I said.
:: Scott doesn’t hesitate and he is over the fence in a flash…
TRAVIS RANDOLPH(O’Neal’s personal camera man from behind the camera): You want me to follow him?
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: F*ck no! That lunatic might be in there and kill that f*cker for this. I don’t want to invest in another camera man.
TRAVIS RANDOLPH: Good call…
:: In the span of minutes and engine roars and the camera pans to see Jason opening the gates to an approaching motorcycle. Indeed Scotty has commandeered a particular Harley Davidson. Jason flags Scott down…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL (To Travis): Get a shot of this. I want this big TUB of Lard to see that this is indeed his bike.
:: Sure enough the bike matched the description. 2015 Harley-Davidson Heritage Soft-tail with Ape Hangers and extended Sissy Bar. Paint is black, with "BATES" written in big red bold impact font on the sides of the gas tank. Under "BATES" is the initials "DRG" written in white time’s new roman font. A person would have to be an idiot to try to make the claim that Jason O’Neal had not gotten Scotty to steal Bate’s prized bike…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Take her around the block, Scotty.
:: With a halfhearted salute, Scotty roars off into the horizon. Jason stands on infront of Bates’ home in frame of the camera. As the roar of the engine fades away, Jason begins talking to the camera and anyone else who cares to listen…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I drove six hours from New Orleans to Huntsville to piss off the jolly green giant. In three weeks here in the WcF, I have pissed off the low card. I sent Gallagher to a shrink, Dion f*cking shit himself, I cost Izuzu what was left of his sanity as he went around beating up on corpses and shit. What the hell would make this situation any different from those? Bates’ frustration and rage emerges from Seth’s shitty management. Tommy Boy has no right to be mad at me, Seth made the match.
Seth finally woke up, he realized he needed to put a title on someone the fans wanted to see. Someone people would pay money to see. Alpine, Bishop, Slane, Bates…all of these guys who have been doing odd jobs for the establishment for a while now have bored the fans to death. No one was watching. Three weeks ago…I changed that. Three weeks ago, I made people pay attention by pissing off people.
Bates, if there is any f*cking doubt that your bike just went around that curve, you are a f*cking idiot. Yeah, I heard how pissed you would be. I heard what the retribution would be… f*ck… do what you have to do. All of that was predicated on me stealing the bike…as you can see sir, clean hands (he holds up his hands to show they are free from discrepancy). You have been circle jerking in leadership for over a year now, I get it… for show…for gimmick you pretend to hate Seth, but behind camera you orchestrate every f*cking thing.
You wanted to solve a bunch of problems with this match. Number one, you f*cking suck and bore people to death. No one wants to watch your slow fat ass bumble around the ring. Ratings were falling and you need me to pick them up. Number two, you actually think you can f*cking beat Alpine and Battle at Revenge. How f*cking stupid are you? Alpine, I have no doubt in my mind you can beat that slobbernut on a good day, but Battle is just f*cking better than you. He proved it. He won Ultimate Showdown. How the f*ck do you get another shot? Seth’s pony…I guess.
You are 20 and f*cking 17 and you brag about that shit. You have it posted on Instagram and Twitter like it is an accomplishment. If you were working at any job and your production was almost fifty percent, you wouldn’t be in line for a promotion. I want you to think about something…Bates, Seth does chagrin win you make a move for the top…you two plan it out weeks in advance. It is stale and the people know it. That is why you had to give this young rook a shot.
You graduated from the University of Memphis, right Bates? That’s like the Havard of Retard schools. Congrats on your degree in History it obviously is full of shit. Bates…you are a proud confederate. I understand, I wore a Saints jersey even when they sucked in the nineties. You have a right to back a loser if you want. However, when study law at Tulane… think I got you beat there f*ck for brains… before I dropped out we looked at the constitution. Hell, in high school we looked at it. Give a little glance at Article 1 Section 10. The part about no state joining a confederacy. You f*cks had no lawful explanation for what you did. Furthermore, Trumpkin, you lost take the f*cking flag down.
:: Jason walks over to the Confederate flag waving over Bates’ property and detatches it. He simply lets it fall to the ground…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Bates…I understand you have history in the WcF… You have been closer to the top than I ever have and if I keep doing sh*t like this…probably ever will be. You f*cks in the front office can’t handle my style. However, please spare me the f*cking details. I don’t care and if I did I’d do what any person would do and f*cking google you. Probably come up next to horse porn or something, but I don’t know your history and I don’t care. Let’s see a real f*cking dialogue. You are at the top of the card and I just got to mid-card level…WOW ME… Intimidate me you gorilla sized piece of genetic accident.
Furthermore, I am not Alpine or Gemini Battle… don’t waste half your airtime talking about those f*cks. You have me this week for your gold. You might want to think long and hard about overlooking me. You are a couple days away from losing the only thing that keeps you semi-relevant in this sport.
TUB-o-Lard… do me a favor…when you see this…try just try not to piss yourself in anger. Try not to give vailed threats about how you are going to kill me and all this bullshit. You are a f*cking history teacher who happens to weightlift. You had the look…WcF found you, thought you could develop and you got out because you couldn’t deal with the students at South Alabama laughing at your fat ass. One year later you are facing a newbie in a low card match and in a couple of weeks you will lose yet another world title shot. Wasted investment… no development.
You are supposed to get a little better with time right? I mean..week after week… the same old bullshit that no one watches. I look forward to seeing you reply promo. I can’t wait. Try and deny it’s your bike… Every time you ride it from now on, you will see me. (Jason pulls out a WcF promo sticker of himself) Why is that bike so special Bates? Did dead daddy give it to you or something? Never seen a grown man addicted to anything that lame ever… Shit even if Scotty wrecks the piece of shit, I have enough to buy 2,000 more of the same exact kind.
:: Just then the roar of the engine is heard fading in and Scotty is caught in frame coming back from around the curve. Jason waves him over. The growl of the engine is loud enough to muffle anything Jason says to Scotty. Jason motions for Scotty to park the bike in the driveway. The bike is left on the kickstand and the engine is shut off…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Nice timing Scotty, I was just talking about you wrecking this hunk of iron.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: Not a scratch on her. Not bad for the first time on a bike.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: You said you had ridden a bike before.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: Everyone has when they were little.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: So you mean to tell me you heard me talking about stealing Bates’ bike and you came along thinking it was a bicycle.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: I figured it out in Hattiesburg.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Why didn’t you tell me something…
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: Figured you would shoot me.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Good point. What do you think Bates’ racist ass would have done if your black ass would have wrecked his bike.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: You are a lot scarier than a fat sumovabitch who is clearly big for nothing.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Let’s leave the bike in the drive way so he sees it when he gets home and do me a favor… (hands Scotty the sticker) Put this right over the "BATES.
"
:: Scotty obliges…
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Let’s get the f*ck out of this god forsaken shithole. I hope the loserific air isn’t contagious.
:: Jason and Scotty begin walking toward some undefined location where they parked the car out of sight. The camera begins to fade, but catches one final conversation audibly…
SCOTTY THE FRIEND: WcF Television Champion…“The Real Deal” Jason O’Neal
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: Does have a nice ring to it doesn’t it…
How mad do you think Bates' will be when he finds out I let a crackhead ride his bike.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND/CRACKHEAD: You said you wouldn't tell anybody.
“THE REAL DEAL” JASON O’NEAL: I didn't...It was just the camera.
SCOTTY THE FRIEND/CRACKHEAD: Oh ok...
:: Scene fades to black…
