Post by Zombie DankMorris on Jul 19, 2016 0:14:25 GMT -5
RP1
WCF
ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
ZMAC KILLIN EVERYBODY UP IN THE DUB
VS ( READ ‘CUZ)
AINT NOBODY GOOD ENOUGH TO STOP HIM
_____________________________
Chapter I: My (Chrono) Coronation
This will be my second Ultimate Showdown match. Last time I traded in the Internet strap for the Television title. That title set me on course for the United States and the Tag Team belts soon after. It’s funny, thinking about it all. I am the guy that nobody expected. I am the guy whose gimmick should fizzle out in three months. Yet here I am, four years into my tenure, the greatest singles champion of all time. I have some of the best ring psychology in the entire industry whose fought and earned and just plain stolen everything I could get my hands on. I know that it eats everyone up too. Heh.. That’s just how the Honey Badger do.
Now we’re closing in on the Ultimate Showdown match and immediately I know that people are going to discredit me. At least, those who don’t know who I am. And I mean who I really am? To some, ZMAC might be an easy out. How can this mans punctuation, grammar and silly coked up bullshit get him anywhere including up? I know that’s on a few minds and they know that Honey Badger don’t give a shit about them. Ultimately in this showdown ZMAC has one of two choices:
Stick to the Internet and stomp dem fools.
OR
throw his name in the hat for a chance at another championship.
I guess, those would be two options, if’n that they be options. Unfortunately for the Dub, they arnt. Those are not separate options or issues. I am the only mother fucker up in the Dub that has earned that belt. I deserve that belt. I have fought for, bled for and died for this company.
DIED.
Figuratively and literally fucking died in the middle of that ring more than once. All of you FGTs in the back better realize that I’m not here to defend to Internet strap. Ain’t none of you can take it no how. None of you are contenders for my strap and lets face it, none of you are contenders for that World title either. Slane might be the world champion and yah, he’s put the work in but I’m walkin into Ultimate Showdown to TAKE what is mine.
And it’s all mine.
Like I’m Glad Teddy Blaze is in this match because he’s holding that Peoples title on lock and I don’t even got to worry about him stepping up. But Chambers and Bishop, I’m going to put you boys in your place and that’s a straight up, matter of fact kind of deal. Four years in the Dub and finally after all this time, that World title is coming home with me where it belongs. And to all of you, I’m going to stomp each and every single one of you out and have the very best showing in Ultimate Showdown history.
Stop me if you think you can but remember this. The strong do what they can and the weak endure what they must. And this week, Zombie McMorris is DOING IT ALL!!
It was a stifling day in Connecticut. Even with the sun parting ways for the night, the cool breeze of the evening had yet to settle in. Zombie McMorris was sitting up against a small shed that housed the air conditioning unit for the entire Valdiva-Roman compound. He was wearing a pair of ripped jean shorts, a motorhead T-shirt and worn leather jacket. His hair had faded blonde streaks that were snarled, tangled and matted. except for one neon green streak that flowed down into his face. His steel toe Doc Martins tapped off the roofed as he bobbed his head to an internal melody while his right hand held a spiff between his thumb and two fingers and his left held up a note. The same note that was delivered to him by falcon some time ago that he had kept stuffed in his jacket pocket, until now. The paper was creased with wrinkles and the ink was barely legible but his eyes darted along a song played in his head.
Zombie McMorris looked up at the setting sun and knew somewhere out there, yet again he has lost someone. Loss for an immortal is the same as most, an empty fondness; it is the knowing that he will never see them again in this lifetime but there are always many others. That is why Zombie has always stated in this time period; he had no emotional attachments. Even Bonnie, at best was an acquaintance. However, she was an acquaintance with a nice ass and a good pair of tits. Zombie’s eyes grew weary as the even haze set in along with the pain of knowing there was equal heartache somewhere beyond his reach. He glanced back down that the chrono-dial and tossed it up in the air a few times, trying to distract himself from the letter. On his fifth toss up he caught it and put the device on the ground before folding up the letter and putting it back in his pocket. He swaps out the letter for his crack pipe and starts to coke up with Freebird still going through his mind. As the Coked Up Mad Man tokes, a shadow creeps up behind him and jolts him on his shoulder.
“ Hey there Z, why the long face?” Says White Steven, putting his hand on ZMAC shoulder.
“Fuck your face, FGT.” Replies ZMAC with scorn and smoke from his crack pipe.
“ Aw, I know that face. That’s the’ Roger Goodell just suspended me for four games for doing nothing but being awesome’, face; that’s what that is.” White Steven squats down next to ZMAC and tries to cheer him up. “ Do you wanna talk about it? Do you wana tell Ol’White Steven whats on your mind? I know that I may not be as good as dad but I’ll tell you what, no one thought I would be any good. They all said that I was too slow, or not good in the pocket. But look at me now. Ol’ Z, can – can I ask you something?”
“ Yah. If it burns to piss, go see a doctor.” Says ZMAC, toking his pipe while continuing to look up at the sky.
“ Truly, that’s advice to live by but I meant something else. You’ve been around a long, long time. I’m sure you’ve loved. Have you ever loved, ZMAC? I mean truly, honestly loved?”
ZMAC stayed silent.
“ I remember my first love. It was the fall of two thousand and seven. I was a cool thirty years old and she was a hawt sixteen. Now I had been courting her for a while. I’ve known here since she was one, two, nine, ten, fifteen. But sixteen was magical. In the winter, I was ready to seal the deal but then came that sour, rat looking Eli Manning and I – UUGHHHH!!” White Steven gnashes his teeth with anger. He takes a moment to compose himself. “ The point is, I had the love of my life right there and someone took it away from me. Now I didn’t curl up and die. Sure, I was hurt but its not like someone took my first superbowl ring away. I mean, no one thought I was the greatest. I went in the sixth round. I am the best quarter back ever. Ever. Now that is something that we have in common. And I know for a fact that there are those that don’t think a whole lot about you. Sure, it’ll be easy to sit up here on this roof but then you’d be no better them. You’re good at this wrestling stuff arnt you? You like it, don’t you? That’s why you do it, right?”
ZMAC turns and looks at White Steven.
“ Isnt that Ultimate Showdown coming up?” Continues White Steven. “ Don’t you want to take this to the next level? I think you should and I know that you can do it. If you want to let their talk define you, how you’re one dimensional and that you can only stay up late at night and call people that silly F-word – then you just sit up here on this roof. But if you want to do you and be you and take what is yours, I suggest you get in that film room and work on your game and then you too can hold up that championship ring – er – belt. You’ve been in WCF for like five years and everyone knows that you can do it. They just don’t want to admit it to themselves so they doubt you to your face and they tell you that you’re the best with that Internet title- and that’s the truth but like, Eli Manning got your belt man. He got your legacy. That’s your real legacy. Ain’t no one can take away your Internet Strap, just like no one can take away my first superbowl ring- except us. And if you don’t believe me then I have someone you should talk to.” White Steven takes out his phone and hands it to ZMAC. “ Press speed dial seven.”
ZMAC presses speed dial 7 and the phone starts to ring.
“Aw, shit.” Exclaims the other line. “ mother fuckin TOM BRADY, AGAIN! What chu want?”
“ Hahaha, ask him – ask him how many rings I got.”
“ Yo, Sherman, how many rings do Brady got?”
The phone disconnects.
“ See. He’s salty. He’s salty just like they be salty. You got four WCF Internet titles but this time, you going for that gold. You going to that big dance, the Ultimate Showdown and you gonna do what I should have done back in o-seven. You’re gonna bang that sixteen year old. This year its like Andrew Luck, Brock Oswilder, RG three and, I don’t, Andy Dalton all up in the superbowl, fluffin’ there socks. They don’t know what to do up in there. But Ol’ Z – Ol’ Z knows exactly whats going on. You didn’t get it last time but this time is going to be different. You’re the veteran. You’re the star. You’re the heart and the soul and without you face it, WCF wouldn’t even be here today.”
“ Now dats the truth, nig, Dats whats up right there.” The two men dab it out as White Steven Excuses himself.
“ Alright Z, you think about what I said. I’m going to go back down stairs and make some hot KAH-KOW.”
“ Its Cocoa.”
“ KAH-KOW. That’s how my wife says it and shes- you know. KAH-KOW.”
“ Idiot.”
“ Haaa, there it is. Got chu to smile.” Says White Steven; pointing back at ZMAC as he steps back into the roof access door. ZMAC turns back to the sunset, taking a few more tokes of his pipe. He continues to appear deep in thought before looking off to the side and addresses the world and WCF.
“ Hmp. Look at cha’ll. I know that theres a cuppa ya’ll that have just seen what went down and be thinking that Zombie McMorris went soft. That this is something that you can use against ol’ Z to try and get a leg up for yourself in this Ultimate Showdown match. But before you lie to yourself and everyone around you – yes, YOU, the Ultimate Showdown collective, you know what must precede any shoot that must be shot. Ya’ll have to acknowledge some very base facts that none of you can even come close to comparing to.
One, This Internet title strap is what has got me to the dance. Two, I am the originator of this title and that is claim that none of you can make. Three, I am on the cusp of history no matter what happens in this match and ya’ll, including Stuart Slane, are still trying to carve history out for you. That’s what is really going to set all of you apart from me. None of you truly know how to be a champion, let alone a world champion. Every pretender to my throne I have knocked back and knocked back down into the dust from where they came. Make no mistake about it, you children are pretenders as well. You are all pretenders attempting to play champion; be it tag, television, U.S and even the world. Ain’t no one come up to any of you banging on your championship glory, thinking that they want or can take from you that prize of leather and gold. Don’t get it twisted either, its not because them greenhorn jobbers like, respect or fear you. The Dub, that shits like prison. If punk bitches wanna make a name for themselves they go after the hardest guy up in the Dub. How many times has Old Z’ stepped up into that Internet forum and dome rocked dudes that weren’t even in a match just because they decided that because they thought that they were safe behind a keyboard, they could get away with it. Compare that to how many times Slane or Blaze or Bishop been called out and they have stepped up. The Answer, before any of you fools can even respond is ZERO. So don’t come up to Zombie McMorris with this whack ass sob story that he don’t know what its like to be a champion.
I have been in the WCF longer than anyone else in this match. I have had more wars, battles and blood shed than anyone else in this match and as far as I am concerned, there is no question of competition in this match. So before you try and attack ol’ Z for a hand written note, make sure ol’ Z hasn’t scribbled ya punk ass name on the list of dudes whose career he has created or ended. Funny thing is, from where I’m standing- Zombie McMorris has had a hand in making everyone’s. So.. now is the time that the Honey Badger starts to break them.
So lets start off with that Whurlds champion. Stuart Slane. The Man who started his career has the foil to the Honey Badger. The man when he came up in the Dub everyone put our names together. Everyone wanted to see the Scout Master verse Zombie McMorris. You see, I already had a career set in stone before you got here but you needed that boost. Even at that, you struggled and still struggle to this very day. Damn shame when the world champion struggles. But then again you precede Logan, Jeff Purse and Oblivion. You’re just next in the long line of disappointing champions; a list that ends at Showdown when I win that WCF world title. Or do you have a trick up your sleeve; are you going to come out with that real hard shit? That hard shit that aint no one seen ever in their life. Its fucking pitiful but what can I expect from a pitiful man like yourself; except for the fact that you might walk out into the Showdown and try. Well shit, son, even Brent Alpine can try and we all know what happened to him; except for all Brent himself. Which brings me to my next topic of discussion.
Brent Alpine, how the fuck are ya? Who knows, right? Not that you can fucking remember. I mean, who the hell is Zombie McMorris anyway? To you this is your first stint here in WCF. I’m shaking my head son because we both know that, that just aint the truth. So how dare you lie to yourself and how dare you lie to me. Punk bitch Aussie mother fucker. So I’m really going to enjoy this. I know that deep down even though you do not remember, I know that you remember my face. I know that even now you have think sinking feeling in the pit of your gut and you have no idea why.
Hi.
Brent Alpine, My name is Zombie McMorris and I – I broke your spirit. My name is Zombie McMorris and I sent you to that head case hospital. I touched your career more than anyone else in this match. I am your reason for leaving. I am your reason for the headaches and nightmares. I am the reason why six pm causes you to breakdown and cry like a punk bitch. This week during the Ultimate Showdown, I will be that reason once again. That’s a nice Television title you got there. Nice job on defeating dudes week after week but if you’re thinking on trading up and catching a shot at the big time, just close your eyes and remember my face. Remember the man that put you out of action. Remember the man they, the government, the pills, the psychopathic drugs at the purge from your mind just so that you could have a shot at normalcy. Normal for you Brent, is staying the fuck away from me because I’ll shit you kick you from this company yet again.
That’s right WCF, this proud Television Champion that ya’ll might think can do a lot of good in the Dub has been sent packing by the man who only needs five letters to defend his Internet Champion. This television champion that represents the kind of fight needed in the WCF in order to become world champion.. is a quitter. He is a quitter and a loser. He tucked his tail, ran and hid because Zombie McMorris said some mean things about him. Mean things but true things and the truth hurts. It is the truth that Zombie McMorris is the only true WCF world champion in this match.
Surely though, the Hardcore champion could be your saving grace. Surely Nathan Chambers with his Perfection Championship will rise to that occasion. Again, I got to shake my head at that stupidity. Does Nathan chambers have talent, perhaps but he doesn’t have the pride. And ya’ll might be telling me:
‘ but ol’ Z, Nathan Chambers is a heel. He’s supposed to be.’
LOL what the fuck did you just say? Heel? That nig couldn’t be a heel if he dressed up as the ass end of a breadstick. He’s gonna represent WCF but NOT representing WCF and calling the WCF title something whack ass to represent his complete lack of imagination and wrestling knowledge. What Chambers going to do; drop three good ones? Doubtful. He’ll come up on the block and tell you that he’s perfect and that entitles him to the world belt. Talkin’ like ain’t none of us perfect and yet Honey Badger is the only mother fucker up in here livin’ free, dyin hard and has been reppin’ that WCF banner since the day he walked up in here some four years ago.
Yo, straight up. You don’t have to be perfect to be world champion but you gotta be WCF and that is something that Nathan Chambers ain’t. He hasn’t bled yet. He hasn’t sacrificed yet. He hasn’t stepped in the ring to make history yet. The only thing he knows is how to take something and make it less then what it was before. I had made that title on his shoulder mean something. It was attached to two great legacies, myself and Cairo. Now this man thinks he has the skills to walk into the Showdown and try his luck for the world title? Well Chambers, your luck just ran out. There is only one perfect championship in WCF, the world title. And there is only one perfect champion in WCF and that is the record setting, history making, Zombie McMorris. Sorry son, but ya gimmick is already taken.
And while we’re talking about gimmicks, let’s not ignore the biggest gimmick of them all. Teddy Blaze. You have not had to actually work to retain your belt in a very long time. You are nearly disqualified from this conversation but you’re in this match just the same so, Ol’ Z has to kill you. Let’s just face the facts that you are not a true title contender or even worthy on your own merit to be in this match. You just sit there and you rally your little support group and they click on your name. Aside from that you ain’t done much up in the dub except lose. In fact, you lose quiet often outside of your title matches. You’re barely qualified to be on the roster, let alone in this match. Lets talk about that match.”
ZMAC takes another hit off his pipe.
“ Let me talk to all of you about what it means to be in this match and what it takes. It takes fortitude and ego and swagger. It takes a labor of both love and hate, Of passion and disdain. It takes a real worthy mother fucker who’s earned their stripes in the Dub, stripes that none of you earned because none of you have even been close to seeing the kind of action with the level of talent that I’ve been involved with. None of you has had the kind of title runs, match performances, Yearly awards and general acceptance that you are the best at what you do. Only I cover all those categories. Zombie McMorris is the only dude in this match that from left to right and front to back has all the qualifications, accomplishments and skills to become WCF World Champion.
I have the most experience in this match. I have the most experience over all of anyone in this match and I have experience with every title that’s on the line. I have more experience than anyone in any field and yet I’m sure there are those who still think that old Z’ cant or won’t walk out of Ultimate Showdown with the World title. And honestly, I’d like the names of those people. I want those names so that I can publicly shame and humiliate those names. Just like when I step through those ropes and outclass straight up bums like Slane, Chambers, Blaze and Bishop. Then the others like Alpine and the DRG will have no choice but to just leave the ring and let Honey Badger collect all of the eliminations and finally the WCF gold that he’s had his eye on for so long.
You might all think that think is your chance to respectfully step up and claim what is yours. And yah, you’d be right. But what is your is not the WCF world title. Its being part of the record setting eliminations that I’ll be doing. With that said, I don’t want Bishop to feel like he’s being slighted. Because that’s exactly what I’m doing. You might be my boy, but boy, you on my way. Same goes for DRG. Let’s not forget about two of the most undeserving challengers for a world title since – well – Thomas Bates world title shot last year. The “sixteen and wash candidate” is gonna rumble on through as the law and order candidate. The seven foot underdog is going to do what no one of his size has ever done, right? Fuck, I think he might have to talk to Balfore about that one. Yo, Fah real, the only time the DRG are any good is when they are going against dudes that far below them. You throw Gem and Bates against real dudes and they get real GOT. But know that Zombie McMOrris is going to curb stomp ya fat fucking stars and bars face. LEARN HOW TO REBEL YELL, YOU FAT FUCK!
And you will, when you’re begging ol’ Z to stop stomping your skull into the pavement because that’s not how you sell the Bates Boots. But it is how you suck the Coked Up Mad Mans cock. The best things you boys can hope for is being eliminated right next each other like a sausage party Romeo and Juliette. It’s not even a a diss to ya’ll. Aint no one even want you in this match and neither of you belong in the match. Gem will start with his:
‘ Do you remember last year Z? Last year I beat you.’
LOL. Well shit. I suppose you did but here I am with a record title reign and history to be made. Where you be? Toeing the line of that five hundred pound anchor that will see you to bottom, that’s where. Listen, Thomas Bates is his own best friend and worst enemy. This dude cannot do anything for himself. That’s why WCF quit on him so damn fast. You cant be a five hundred pound good guy underdog. Shit just don’t work. And Gem, you cant be a piss o’ five badass with a sword like one of those cymbal monkeys as Bates cranks the organ. You two walking in an walking out of the Showdown as tag champs is the best thing that you can do you’re your careers until me and Darkmerica run through you and I got the world and the tag strap on my shoulder like so many fine Latina bitches before them. But I know that ya’ll gonna try and call this a murder, an assassination and just the end of Zombie McMorris..
Don’t call this a mass murder. Just call it what it is - my coronation. In two weeks I'm going to choke and break and completely destroy everyone and everything in that ring with me. nothing will stop me from becoming the WCF World champion. No one will stop me from becoming world champion. After this week. I am going to drag Corey Black out of retirement and the comfort of slapping around FGTs who aint ever gonna make it. I’m going to drag him back into the old school way that the Dub used to do thing. I’m the guy that no one thought could make it. Whelp, I made it. I made it, I did it and this week I’m going to win that World title but going through each and every one of these guys in that ring with me. So my question is which one of you guys are going to be the one to stop me? Exactly. Not one of you. So I want all of you to soak that in while you scratch your notes together and take your deep breaths before that camera starts rolling. None of you from Freezerburn to Bishop, to Alpine to Chambers and blaze – all the way up to the current holder of my glory, Stuart Slane – can stop me. None of you can say or do anything to prevent me from walking out of the Ultimate Showdown my history in my grasp. I Am the champion of the world and Sunday Night, ya’ll just livin and dying for the right to say that you were there the day that Zombie McMorris became the rightful head of this company. I’m going to make you regret all the choices that brought you to this moment in time. And speaking of time…”
ZMAC holds the chrono-dial in his hand.
“ I got a date with destiny.”
______________________________
Chapter II: The Only True Champion.
The Valdiva-Roman Compound: Downstairs
While ZMAC was up on the roof of the compound, the Shape was pacing the floor while all dressed up in his classic black suit attire. He was pacing between the living room and the kitchen, taking a moment to pause and reflect on the empire he had built managing a record four world champions and soon to be his fifth; more than any other manager in WCF history. The house was dark and silent, except for the Jetsons cartoon playing on the living television in the background. The old home cracked and ached under the heavy footsteps of the Shape as he jawed with someone on the phone.
“ No! You listen here, shut your mouth. You shut your mouth, Michael. This match is not about them, it has never been about them and it will never be about them. This match is six – seven other men talking, working, breathing and being disappointed around MY clients realization of his place within his company. This match is not for Stuart Slane, it is not for Kevin Bishop, it is not for Nathan Chambers, it certain is not for Alpine and do not been get me started on DRG. Then there’s Teddy Blaze- Pft. You insult me by bringing their names up. You insult MY client by bringing their names up and you.insult. WCF- by bringing their names up. None of these men know what it is like to be a champion or what it takes to be a champion in Wrestling Championship Federation. It – it –it takes a certain kind of skill, a certain kind of charisma, a certain kind of Coked Up Mad Man to rightfully and truthfully hold the Wrestling Championship Federation World Championship.
… No Michael, I’m telling you the truth. Michael, I wouldn’t lie to you. I am a man of action and lies do not become me. I am a proud father and I would never lie. I am not lying when I tell you that this Ultimate Showdown match is filled with NON-CHAMPIONS and NON-COMPETITORS. The only option in this match - IN THIS COMPANY for World Champion is MY CLIENT, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS!
.. what do you mean why? MY CLIENT, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS, lives and breathes for this company. Week in and week out he is here and he is shining new light on this struggling and stale concept for inept world champions.
… Yes, I’m blaming Logan for the Mexico incident..
.. No, I will not keep that to myself. I am a proud father and I will be heard! I am blaming Logan for what happened in Mexico because he was the World Champion and as such, he has a certain level of responsibility. Then what happened? Look at what happened. Where is Logan now; nowhere. What did Seth do after that; crowned Oblivion.
..No, it was a terrible move. Yes, he deserves it but not like that. Oblivion cannot brand and rebuild a company. You know that, I know that and Seth, bless his heart learned that the hard way and put the title on Jeff Purse. Jeff Purse, the MOST LACK LUSTER CHAMPION IN WCF HISTORY.
.. Yes, Yes I think Seth learned that lesson too. I think he learned that lesson a little bit too late, but he learned it. He learned from it but he did not correct his mistakes. What did Seth do next, he made Stuart Slane world champion. And do you know what, now is not the right time for Stuart Slane to be World Champion. Maybe someday when everyone is lactose intolerant and the world needs to be put to sleep.
.. Yes, to sleep. MY SON DIABLO CALZONE-ROMAN has been asleep on the couch since June twenty sixth. I think the Gypsy moths have laid eggs in his navel; THAT’S HOW OUT COLD HE IS. Out cold because he thought to himself that it would be a good idea to watch Slam and now my son is turning into a breeding ground for months and what seems to be two stray raccoons. And one of them always seems to be smoking Winstons and drinking Hennessey- but that’s not the point! The point is Stuart Slane is boring like a box of walnuts.
.. What do you mean, why? It’s because Stuart Slane has all the charisma of road kill Dominos pizza and half the selling value. Face it, there is no draw power in Stuart Slane. No one wants to see Stuart Slane fight the road crew in catering for the last piece of carrot cake, let alone see Stuart slane in a fourty-five minute main event match against Oblivion. There is not a soul alive on this planet or the next who thought to themselves:
‘ HMM, Stuart Slane is fighting Jeff Purse, better get my tickets early before they sell out.’
Spoilers, Michael, they never sold out. And the only reason anyone bought a shred of a ticket- spent a pence of a pounce was because of MY CLIENT, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS! My client, Zombie McMorris, the innovator, the ICON, The heart and soul of this company, the banner man of this company carried that entire Pay Per View with four anvil scrubs on his back and made the entire event watchable.
.. Are you insane? The main event wasn’t good. Nathan Chambers, James – whats his face, Jeff Purse and Stuart Slane? I would rather get a root canal by Edward Scissor hands while he typed his memoirs on the worlds smallest type writer in my mouth while I was fully awake and getting audited by the IRS.
… You’re damn right, now that I put it that way. Michael, there is no other way to put it. A blind man can painfully see that The Ultimate Showdown only has one clear and concise winner.
… I’m not telling you that my client should win it or that he deserves to win it. I am telling you that my client IS going to win it because there is nobody in this match with the experience or the innate knowledge to win the match.
.. Well, yes. Do you know why I’m discrediting the current world champion so much; because he is not World Champion material. Let me tell you something about Stuart Slane. Stuart Slane has been in this company just as long as Zombie McMorris and they could have – at one time set the world on fire. But that never happened. It never happened because the novelty of “The Scout Master” wore off. It wore thin and people just tuned off. Here is another little thing about the former Scout Master – five years in this company, a combined six months as champion. That is total, with his three titles. Okay? Really. Like who is this guy? People are going to ask that and they already ask that. I have people coming up to me on the streets –THE STREETS – they ask me:
‘Father Roman, who is Stuart Slane? Why is this man world champion. ‘ And that is IF they can even stay awake during his match or during --- “
Buddy Roman lets out a loud and tiresome yawn.
“ See, even I can barely stay awake and I’m just talking about him. Just thinking about Stuart Slane is enough to put a hospice patient out of their misery. People either had to have seen Stuart Slane when he first got here in WCF or they don’t know him at all. At ALL, Michael. Do you understand that; we reach a pitiful one million viewers on Slam. After Mexico, our numbers tanked. Talent left, talent walked. Our Roster shrank from over forty stars to under twenty and do you know who was there through it all – MY CLIENT, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS. THE PRIMERE WORLD CHAMPION OF OUR COMPANY.
.. If Seth likes money he’ll go for it. If Seth Lerch likes money and likes that G-six air plane he bought earlier this year then yes. Michael, right now we are barely reaching a million viewers; Slam should be reaching four to five times as much. There is zero reason for this company to dip below three million and there is no reason for anyone to be champion aside from the uncrowned world champion, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS.
.. alright, you get back to me and I’ll get back to you with jetpack-esq levels of money. You’re a bright guy, Michael. “
Click
The Shape, the Jew among Jews and the advocate of Zombie McMorris ends the call on his iPhone and slips it back into his pocket. The King-Roman compound was buzzing with news both from White Stevens upheld NFL suspension to Zombie McMorriss’ match in The Ultimate Showdown. Buddy Roman stood in the kitchen, leaning up against the counter top as he bit his lip in deep thought over the realization that HIS CLIENT was going to be WCF World Champion. White Steven was carrying his news surprising well as ZMAC was up on the roof reading a letter he had gotten in the mail just a few days prior. It was a reflective time for everyone. The only issue is that the Bishop Street Review Board had been asking questions and snooping around into what “exactly happened” to Avery King.
“What happened, indeed.” Scoffed the Shape. The Shape looks down at his watch then adjusts his tie. “ I don’t want to keep them waiting. I do not want to keep anyone waiting. From the Bishop Street Review Board to the Ultimate Showdown cardboard cut outs.” However, they would have to wait as there were more pressing things to tend to. Even before talking to Michael Wallinski, Buddy Roman had secured special interview time so that he could get his message across to the WCF loyal. He was waiting on a text and finally the chirp that he had been waiting for. Buddy Roman takes the phone out of his pocket and checks the message.
[ Sunday night 5:59 PM ]
" ZMAC, get down here. We have a plane to catch."
The Shape looked up and grinned and evil yet succulent grim; the kind that made you want to hate him and yet love him at the same time. Before the review board could get their answers, the Shape and The Evil Incarnate had to go catch a plane and a multi-stop world tour interview with Hank Brown. He planned the tour starting in Rio ahead of the Olympics then to England, Germany, India and Japan because the Shape wanted to have the first interview ahead of anyone else because in his mind..
CHAMPIONS. STRIKE. FIRST.
WCF
ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
ZMAC KILLIN EVERYBODY UP IN THE DUB
VS ( READ ‘CUZ)
AINT NOBODY GOOD ENOUGH TO STOP HIM
_____________________________
Chapter I: My (Chrono) Coronation
This will be my second Ultimate Showdown match. Last time I traded in the Internet strap for the Television title. That title set me on course for the United States and the Tag Team belts soon after. It’s funny, thinking about it all. I am the guy that nobody expected. I am the guy whose gimmick should fizzle out in three months. Yet here I am, four years into my tenure, the greatest singles champion of all time. I have some of the best ring psychology in the entire industry whose fought and earned and just plain stolen everything I could get my hands on. I know that it eats everyone up too. Heh.. That’s just how the Honey Badger do.
Now we’re closing in on the Ultimate Showdown match and immediately I know that people are going to discredit me. At least, those who don’t know who I am. And I mean who I really am? To some, ZMAC might be an easy out. How can this mans punctuation, grammar and silly coked up bullshit get him anywhere including up? I know that’s on a few minds and they know that Honey Badger don’t give a shit about them. Ultimately in this showdown ZMAC has one of two choices:
Stick to the Internet and stomp dem fools.
OR
throw his name in the hat for a chance at another championship.
I guess, those would be two options, if’n that they be options. Unfortunately for the Dub, they arnt. Those are not separate options or issues. I am the only mother fucker up in the Dub that has earned that belt. I deserve that belt. I have fought for, bled for and died for this company.
DIED.
Figuratively and literally fucking died in the middle of that ring more than once. All of you FGTs in the back better realize that I’m not here to defend to Internet strap. Ain’t none of you can take it no how. None of you are contenders for my strap and lets face it, none of you are contenders for that World title either. Slane might be the world champion and yah, he’s put the work in but I’m walkin into Ultimate Showdown to TAKE what is mine.
And it’s all mine.
Like I’m Glad Teddy Blaze is in this match because he’s holding that Peoples title on lock and I don’t even got to worry about him stepping up. But Chambers and Bishop, I’m going to put you boys in your place and that’s a straight up, matter of fact kind of deal. Four years in the Dub and finally after all this time, that World title is coming home with me where it belongs. And to all of you, I’m going to stomp each and every single one of you out and have the very best showing in Ultimate Showdown history.
Stop me if you think you can but remember this. The strong do what they can and the weak endure what they must. And this week, Zombie McMorris is DOING IT ALL!!
It was a stifling day in Connecticut. Even with the sun parting ways for the night, the cool breeze of the evening had yet to settle in. Zombie McMorris was sitting up against a small shed that housed the air conditioning unit for the entire Valdiva-Roman compound. He was wearing a pair of ripped jean shorts, a motorhead T-shirt and worn leather jacket. His hair had faded blonde streaks that were snarled, tangled and matted. except for one neon green streak that flowed down into his face. His steel toe Doc Martins tapped off the roofed as he bobbed his head to an internal melody while his right hand held a spiff between his thumb and two fingers and his left held up a note. The same note that was delivered to him by falcon some time ago that he had kept stuffed in his jacket pocket, until now. The paper was creased with wrinkles and the ink was barely legible but his eyes darted along a song played in his head.
[ Dear, ZMAC
I know that you might find this odd, considering everything that happened. And considering that I am now part of Guardians that patrol space and the heavens above. But I – I never forgot you. With all my lifetimes and all the miles that I’ve traveled, you’re still the best in, you know.. O geez, I can’t believe I just admitted that to you while Jay Omega is sleeping in the next pod. Actually, that’s kind of exciting to know that he could wake up in the middle of this. Unfortunately for your ego, your ambitions in the bedroom are not why I’m writing to you. Omega, Polar and I are leaving this sector of the universe on assignment and I do not know when we’ll be back. Our orders say that we’ll be gone six to eight months but that could turn out even longer. Enclosed in this is a Chronometric Bio-dial. All three of us have one for assignment but with us being gone from the Milky Way Sector ( can you believe they don’t call it that? ) for so long, I felt that someone needed to guard the earth. With your unique healing and time skip abilities, I figured you would be the best choice. The Bio-dial will also better allow you to control your time skip upon death, bringing you back to your last selected point in the Time-Paradox.
Instructions:
1. ) To use the dial, turn it counter clock wise 5 times to unclock the bio-metric chrono-sensors.
2.)To mount the device, place your hand on something hard like concrete.
3.) Place the Bio-Dial on the back of your hand and twist the dial CLOCK WISE until, well.. you’ll feel it.
4.) To travel backwards or towards in time just spin the inner most dial either clock wise or forward then press the two red buttons at the same time to active the chrono-sink nano meters that will calibrate your body for the time jump.
Do use it responsibly and don’t screw anything up. Oh’ and Z… use your right hand.
Catch you later Southpaw,
Wish You Were Here
- Bonnie ]
I know that you might find this odd, considering everything that happened. And considering that I am now part of Guardians that patrol space and the heavens above. But I – I never forgot you. With all my lifetimes and all the miles that I’ve traveled, you’re still the best in, you know.. O geez, I can’t believe I just admitted that to you while Jay Omega is sleeping in the next pod. Actually, that’s kind of exciting to know that he could wake up in the middle of this. Unfortunately for your ego, your ambitions in the bedroom are not why I’m writing to you. Omega, Polar and I are leaving this sector of the universe on assignment and I do not know when we’ll be back. Our orders say that we’ll be gone six to eight months but that could turn out even longer. Enclosed in this is a Chronometric Bio-dial. All three of us have one for assignment but with us being gone from the Milky Way Sector ( can you believe they don’t call it that? ) for so long, I felt that someone needed to guard the earth. With your unique healing and time skip abilities, I figured you would be the best choice. The Bio-dial will also better allow you to control your time skip upon death, bringing you back to your last selected point in the Time-Paradox.
Instructions:
1. ) To use the dial, turn it counter clock wise 5 times to unclock the bio-metric chrono-sensors.
2.)To mount the device, place your hand on something hard like concrete.
3.) Place the Bio-Dial on the back of your hand and twist the dial CLOCK WISE until, well.. you’ll feel it.
4.) To travel backwards or towards in time just spin the inner most dial either clock wise or forward then press the two red buttons at the same time to active the chrono-sink nano meters that will calibrate your body for the time jump.
Do use it responsibly and don’t screw anything up. Oh’ and Z… use your right hand.
Catch you later Southpaw,
Wish You Were Here
- Bonnie ]
Zombie McMorris looked up at the setting sun and knew somewhere out there, yet again he has lost someone. Loss for an immortal is the same as most, an empty fondness; it is the knowing that he will never see them again in this lifetime but there are always many others. That is why Zombie has always stated in this time period; he had no emotional attachments. Even Bonnie, at best was an acquaintance. However, she was an acquaintance with a nice ass and a good pair of tits. Zombie’s eyes grew weary as the even haze set in along with the pain of knowing there was equal heartache somewhere beyond his reach. He glanced back down that the chrono-dial and tossed it up in the air a few times, trying to distract himself from the letter. On his fifth toss up he caught it and put the device on the ground before folding up the letter and putting it back in his pocket. He swaps out the letter for his crack pipe and starts to coke up with Freebird still going through his mind. As the Coked Up Mad Man tokes, a shadow creeps up behind him and jolts him on his shoulder.
“ Hey there Z, why the long face?” Says White Steven, putting his hand on ZMAC shoulder.
“Fuck your face, FGT.” Replies ZMAC with scorn and smoke from his crack pipe.
“ Aw, I know that face. That’s the’ Roger Goodell just suspended me for four games for doing nothing but being awesome’, face; that’s what that is.” White Steven squats down next to ZMAC and tries to cheer him up. “ Do you wanna talk about it? Do you wana tell Ol’White Steven whats on your mind? I know that I may not be as good as dad but I’ll tell you what, no one thought I would be any good. They all said that I was too slow, or not good in the pocket. But look at me now. Ol’ Z, can – can I ask you something?”
“ Yah. If it burns to piss, go see a doctor.” Says ZMAC, toking his pipe while continuing to look up at the sky.
“ Truly, that’s advice to live by but I meant something else. You’ve been around a long, long time. I’m sure you’ve loved. Have you ever loved, ZMAC? I mean truly, honestly loved?”
ZMAC stayed silent.
“ I remember my first love. It was the fall of two thousand and seven. I was a cool thirty years old and she was a hawt sixteen. Now I had been courting her for a while. I’ve known here since she was one, two, nine, ten, fifteen. But sixteen was magical. In the winter, I was ready to seal the deal but then came that sour, rat looking Eli Manning and I – UUGHHHH!!” White Steven gnashes his teeth with anger. He takes a moment to compose himself. “ The point is, I had the love of my life right there and someone took it away from me. Now I didn’t curl up and die. Sure, I was hurt but its not like someone took my first superbowl ring away. I mean, no one thought I was the greatest. I went in the sixth round. I am the best quarter back ever. Ever. Now that is something that we have in common. And I know for a fact that there are those that don’t think a whole lot about you. Sure, it’ll be easy to sit up here on this roof but then you’d be no better them. You’re good at this wrestling stuff arnt you? You like it, don’t you? That’s why you do it, right?”
ZMAC turns and looks at White Steven.
“ Isnt that Ultimate Showdown coming up?” Continues White Steven. “ Don’t you want to take this to the next level? I think you should and I know that you can do it. If you want to let their talk define you, how you’re one dimensional and that you can only stay up late at night and call people that silly F-word – then you just sit up here on this roof. But if you want to do you and be you and take what is yours, I suggest you get in that film room and work on your game and then you too can hold up that championship ring – er – belt. You’ve been in WCF for like five years and everyone knows that you can do it. They just don’t want to admit it to themselves so they doubt you to your face and they tell you that you’re the best with that Internet title- and that’s the truth but like, Eli Manning got your belt man. He got your legacy. That’s your real legacy. Ain’t no one can take away your Internet Strap, just like no one can take away my first superbowl ring- except us. And if you don’t believe me then I have someone you should talk to.” White Steven takes out his phone and hands it to ZMAC. “ Press speed dial seven.”
ZMAC presses speed dial 7 and the phone starts to ring.
“Aw, shit.” Exclaims the other line. “ mother fuckin TOM BRADY, AGAIN! What chu want?”
“ Hahaha, ask him – ask him how many rings I got.”
“ Yo, Sherman, how many rings do Brady got?”
The phone disconnects.
“ See. He’s salty. He’s salty just like they be salty. You got four WCF Internet titles but this time, you going for that gold. You going to that big dance, the Ultimate Showdown and you gonna do what I should have done back in o-seven. You’re gonna bang that sixteen year old. This year its like Andrew Luck, Brock Oswilder, RG three and, I don’t, Andy Dalton all up in the superbowl, fluffin’ there socks. They don’t know what to do up in there. But Ol’ Z – Ol’ Z knows exactly whats going on. You didn’t get it last time but this time is going to be different. You’re the veteran. You’re the star. You’re the heart and the soul and without you face it, WCF wouldn’t even be here today.”
“ Now dats the truth, nig, Dats whats up right there.” The two men dab it out as White Steven Excuses himself.
“ Alright Z, you think about what I said. I’m going to go back down stairs and make some hot KAH-KOW.”
“ Its Cocoa.”
“ KAH-KOW. That’s how my wife says it and shes- you know. KAH-KOW.”
“ Idiot.”
“ Haaa, there it is. Got chu to smile.” Says White Steven; pointing back at ZMAC as he steps back into the roof access door. ZMAC turns back to the sunset, taking a few more tokes of his pipe. He continues to appear deep in thought before looking off to the side and addresses the world and WCF.
“ Hmp. Look at cha’ll. I know that theres a cuppa ya’ll that have just seen what went down and be thinking that Zombie McMorris went soft. That this is something that you can use against ol’ Z to try and get a leg up for yourself in this Ultimate Showdown match. But before you lie to yourself and everyone around you – yes, YOU, the Ultimate Showdown collective, you know what must precede any shoot that must be shot. Ya’ll have to acknowledge some very base facts that none of you can even come close to comparing to.
One, This Internet title strap is what has got me to the dance. Two, I am the originator of this title and that is claim that none of you can make. Three, I am on the cusp of history no matter what happens in this match and ya’ll, including Stuart Slane, are still trying to carve history out for you. That’s what is really going to set all of you apart from me. None of you truly know how to be a champion, let alone a world champion. Every pretender to my throne I have knocked back and knocked back down into the dust from where they came. Make no mistake about it, you children are pretenders as well. You are all pretenders attempting to play champion; be it tag, television, U.S and even the world. Ain’t no one come up to any of you banging on your championship glory, thinking that they want or can take from you that prize of leather and gold. Don’t get it twisted either, its not because them greenhorn jobbers like, respect or fear you. The Dub, that shits like prison. If punk bitches wanna make a name for themselves they go after the hardest guy up in the Dub. How many times has Old Z’ stepped up into that Internet forum and dome rocked dudes that weren’t even in a match just because they decided that because they thought that they were safe behind a keyboard, they could get away with it. Compare that to how many times Slane or Blaze or Bishop been called out and they have stepped up. The Answer, before any of you fools can even respond is ZERO. So don’t come up to Zombie McMorris with this whack ass sob story that he don’t know what its like to be a champion.
I have been in the WCF longer than anyone else in this match. I have had more wars, battles and blood shed than anyone else in this match and as far as I am concerned, there is no question of competition in this match. So before you try and attack ol’ Z for a hand written note, make sure ol’ Z hasn’t scribbled ya punk ass name on the list of dudes whose career he has created or ended. Funny thing is, from where I’m standing- Zombie McMorris has had a hand in making everyone’s. So.. now is the time that the Honey Badger starts to break them.
So lets start off with that Whurlds champion. Stuart Slane. The Man who started his career has the foil to the Honey Badger. The man when he came up in the Dub everyone put our names together. Everyone wanted to see the Scout Master verse Zombie McMorris. You see, I already had a career set in stone before you got here but you needed that boost. Even at that, you struggled and still struggle to this very day. Damn shame when the world champion struggles. But then again you precede Logan, Jeff Purse and Oblivion. You’re just next in the long line of disappointing champions; a list that ends at Showdown when I win that WCF world title. Or do you have a trick up your sleeve; are you going to come out with that real hard shit? That hard shit that aint no one seen ever in their life. Its fucking pitiful but what can I expect from a pitiful man like yourself; except for the fact that you might walk out into the Showdown and try. Well shit, son, even Brent Alpine can try and we all know what happened to him; except for all Brent himself. Which brings me to my next topic of discussion.
Brent Alpine, how the fuck are ya? Who knows, right? Not that you can fucking remember. I mean, who the hell is Zombie McMorris anyway? To you this is your first stint here in WCF. I’m shaking my head son because we both know that, that just aint the truth. So how dare you lie to yourself and how dare you lie to me. Punk bitch Aussie mother fucker. So I’m really going to enjoy this. I know that deep down even though you do not remember, I know that you remember my face. I know that even now you have think sinking feeling in the pit of your gut and you have no idea why.
Hi.
Brent Alpine, My name is Zombie McMorris and I – I broke your spirit. My name is Zombie McMorris and I sent you to that head case hospital. I touched your career more than anyone else in this match. I am your reason for leaving. I am your reason for the headaches and nightmares. I am the reason why six pm causes you to breakdown and cry like a punk bitch. This week during the Ultimate Showdown, I will be that reason once again. That’s a nice Television title you got there. Nice job on defeating dudes week after week but if you’re thinking on trading up and catching a shot at the big time, just close your eyes and remember my face. Remember the man that put you out of action. Remember the man they, the government, the pills, the psychopathic drugs at the purge from your mind just so that you could have a shot at normalcy. Normal for you Brent, is staying the fuck away from me because I’ll shit you kick you from this company yet again.
That’s right WCF, this proud Television Champion that ya’ll might think can do a lot of good in the Dub has been sent packing by the man who only needs five letters to defend his Internet Champion. This television champion that represents the kind of fight needed in the WCF in order to become world champion.. is a quitter. He is a quitter and a loser. He tucked his tail, ran and hid because Zombie McMorris said some mean things about him. Mean things but true things and the truth hurts. It is the truth that Zombie McMorris is the only true WCF world champion in this match.
Surely though, the Hardcore champion could be your saving grace. Surely Nathan Chambers with his Perfection Championship will rise to that occasion. Again, I got to shake my head at that stupidity. Does Nathan chambers have talent, perhaps but he doesn’t have the pride. And ya’ll might be telling me:
‘ but ol’ Z, Nathan Chambers is a heel. He’s supposed to be.’
LOL what the fuck did you just say? Heel? That nig couldn’t be a heel if he dressed up as the ass end of a breadstick. He’s gonna represent WCF but NOT representing WCF and calling the WCF title something whack ass to represent his complete lack of imagination and wrestling knowledge. What Chambers going to do; drop three good ones? Doubtful. He’ll come up on the block and tell you that he’s perfect and that entitles him to the world belt. Talkin’ like ain’t none of us perfect and yet Honey Badger is the only mother fucker up in here livin’ free, dyin hard and has been reppin’ that WCF banner since the day he walked up in here some four years ago.
Yo, straight up. You don’t have to be perfect to be world champion but you gotta be WCF and that is something that Nathan Chambers ain’t. He hasn’t bled yet. He hasn’t sacrificed yet. He hasn’t stepped in the ring to make history yet. The only thing he knows is how to take something and make it less then what it was before. I had made that title on his shoulder mean something. It was attached to two great legacies, myself and Cairo. Now this man thinks he has the skills to walk into the Showdown and try his luck for the world title? Well Chambers, your luck just ran out. There is only one perfect championship in WCF, the world title. And there is only one perfect champion in WCF and that is the record setting, history making, Zombie McMorris. Sorry son, but ya gimmick is already taken.
And while we’re talking about gimmicks, let’s not ignore the biggest gimmick of them all. Teddy Blaze. You have not had to actually work to retain your belt in a very long time. You are nearly disqualified from this conversation but you’re in this match just the same so, Ol’ Z has to kill you. Let’s just face the facts that you are not a true title contender or even worthy on your own merit to be in this match. You just sit there and you rally your little support group and they click on your name. Aside from that you ain’t done much up in the dub except lose. In fact, you lose quiet often outside of your title matches. You’re barely qualified to be on the roster, let alone in this match. Lets talk about that match.”
ZMAC takes another hit off his pipe.
“ Let me talk to all of you about what it means to be in this match and what it takes. It takes fortitude and ego and swagger. It takes a labor of both love and hate, Of passion and disdain. It takes a real worthy mother fucker who’s earned their stripes in the Dub, stripes that none of you earned because none of you have even been close to seeing the kind of action with the level of talent that I’ve been involved with. None of you has had the kind of title runs, match performances, Yearly awards and general acceptance that you are the best at what you do. Only I cover all those categories. Zombie McMorris is the only dude in this match that from left to right and front to back has all the qualifications, accomplishments and skills to become WCF World Champion.
I have the most experience in this match. I have the most experience over all of anyone in this match and I have experience with every title that’s on the line. I have more experience than anyone in any field and yet I’m sure there are those who still think that old Z’ cant or won’t walk out of Ultimate Showdown with the World title. And honestly, I’d like the names of those people. I want those names so that I can publicly shame and humiliate those names. Just like when I step through those ropes and outclass straight up bums like Slane, Chambers, Blaze and Bishop. Then the others like Alpine and the DRG will have no choice but to just leave the ring and let Honey Badger collect all of the eliminations and finally the WCF gold that he’s had his eye on for so long.
You might all think that think is your chance to respectfully step up and claim what is yours. And yah, you’d be right. But what is your is not the WCF world title. Its being part of the record setting eliminations that I’ll be doing. With that said, I don’t want Bishop to feel like he’s being slighted. Because that’s exactly what I’m doing. You might be my boy, but boy, you on my way. Same goes for DRG. Let’s not forget about two of the most undeserving challengers for a world title since – well – Thomas Bates world title shot last year. The “sixteen and wash candidate” is gonna rumble on through as the law and order candidate. The seven foot underdog is going to do what no one of his size has ever done, right? Fuck, I think he might have to talk to Balfore about that one. Yo, Fah real, the only time the DRG are any good is when they are going against dudes that far below them. You throw Gem and Bates against real dudes and they get real GOT. But know that Zombie McMOrris is going to curb stomp ya fat fucking stars and bars face. LEARN HOW TO REBEL YELL, YOU FAT FUCK!
And you will, when you’re begging ol’ Z to stop stomping your skull into the pavement because that’s not how you sell the Bates Boots. But it is how you suck the Coked Up Mad Mans cock. The best things you boys can hope for is being eliminated right next each other like a sausage party Romeo and Juliette. It’s not even a a diss to ya’ll. Aint no one even want you in this match and neither of you belong in the match. Gem will start with his:
‘ Do you remember last year Z? Last year I beat you.’
LOL. Well shit. I suppose you did but here I am with a record title reign and history to be made. Where you be? Toeing the line of that five hundred pound anchor that will see you to bottom, that’s where. Listen, Thomas Bates is his own best friend and worst enemy. This dude cannot do anything for himself. That’s why WCF quit on him so damn fast. You cant be a five hundred pound good guy underdog. Shit just don’t work. And Gem, you cant be a piss o’ five badass with a sword like one of those cymbal monkeys as Bates cranks the organ. You two walking in an walking out of the Showdown as tag champs is the best thing that you can do you’re your careers until me and Darkmerica run through you and I got the world and the tag strap on my shoulder like so many fine Latina bitches before them. But I know that ya’ll gonna try and call this a murder, an assassination and just the end of Zombie McMorris..
Don’t call this a mass murder. Just call it what it is - my coronation. In two weeks I'm going to choke and break and completely destroy everyone and everything in that ring with me. nothing will stop me from becoming the WCF World champion. No one will stop me from becoming world champion. After this week. I am going to drag Corey Black out of retirement and the comfort of slapping around FGTs who aint ever gonna make it. I’m going to drag him back into the old school way that the Dub used to do thing. I’m the guy that no one thought could make it. Whelp, I made it. I made it, I did it and this week I’m going to win that World title but going through each and every one of these guys in that ring with me. So my question is which one of you guys are going to be the one to stop me? Exactly. Not one of you. So I want all of you to soak that in while you scratch your notes together and take your deep breaths before that camera starts rolling. None of you from Freezerburn to Bishop, to Alpine to Chambers and blaze – all the way up to the current holder of my glory, Stuart Slane – can stop me. None of you can say or do anything to prevent me from walking out of the Ultimate Showdown my history in my grasp. I Am the champion of the world and Sunday Night, ya’ll just livin and dying for the right to say that you were there the day that Zombie McMorris became the rightful head of this company. I’m going to make you regret all the choices that brought you to this moment in time. And speaking of time…”
ZMAC holds the chrono-dial in his hand.
“ I got a date with destiny.”
______________________________
Chapter II: The Only True Champion.
The Valdiva-Roman Compound: Downstairs
While ZMAC was up on the roof of the compound, the Shape was pacing the floor while all dressed up in his classic black suit attire. He was pacing between the living room and the kitchen, taking a moment to pause and reflect on the empire he had built managing a record four world champions and soon to be his fifth; more than any other manager in WCF history. The house was dark and silent, except for the Jetsons cartoon playing on the living television in the background. The old home cracked and ached under the heavy footsteps of the Shape as he jawed with someone on the phone.
“ No! You listen here, shut your mouth. You shut your mouth, Michael. This match is not about them, it has never been about them and it will never be about them. This match is six – seven other men talking, working, breathing and being disappointed around MY clients realization of his place within his company. This match is not for Stuart Slane, it is not for Kevin Bishop, it is not for Nathan Chambers, it certain is not for Alpine and do not been get me started on DRG. Then there’s Teddy Blaze- Pft. You insult me by bringing their names up. You insult MY client by bringing their names up and you.insult. WCF- by bringing their names up. None of these men know what it is like to be a champion or what it takes to be a champion in Wrestling Championship Federation. It – it –it takes a certain kind of skill, a certain kind of charisma, a certain kind of Coked Up Mad Man to rightfully and truthfully hold the Wrestling Championship Federation World Championship.
… No Michael, I’m telling you the truth. Michael, I wouldn’t lie to you. I am a man of action and lies do not become me. I am a proud father and I would never lie. I am not lying when I tell you that this Ultimate Showdown match is filled with NON-CHAMPIONS and NON-COMPETITORS. The only option in this match - IN THIS COMPANY for World Champion is MY CLIENT, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS!
.. what do you mean why? MY CLIENT, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS, lives and breathes for this company. Week in and week out he is here and he is shining new light on this struggling and stale concept for inept world champions.
… Yes, I’m blaming Logan for the Mexico incident..
.. No, I will not keep that to myself. I am a proud father and I will be heard! I am blaming Logan for what happened in Mexico because he was the World Champion and as such, he has a certain level of responsibility. Then what happened? Look at what happened. Where is Logan now; nowhere. What did Seth do after that; crowned Oblivion.
..No, it was a terrible move. Yes, he deserves it but not like that. Oblivion cannot brand and rebuild a company. You know that, I know that and Seth, bless his heart learned that the hard way and put the title on Jeff Purse. Jeff Purse, the MOST LACK LUSTER CHAMPION IN WCF HISTORY.
.. Yes, Yes I think Seth learned that lesson too. I think he learned that lesson a little bit too late, but he learned it. He learned from it but he did not correct his mistakes. What did Seth do next, he made Stuart Slane world champion. And do you know what, now is not the right time for Stuart Slane to be World Champion. Maybe someday when everyone is lactose intolerant and the world needs to be put to sleep.
.. Yes, to sleep. MY SON DIABLO CALZONE-ROMAN has been asleep on the couch since June twenty sixth. I think the Gypsy moths have laid eggs in his navel; THAT’S HOW OUT COLD HE IS. Out cold because he thought to himself that it would be a good idea to watch Slam and now my son is turning into a breeding ground for months and what seems to be two stray raccoons. And one of them always seems to be smoking Winstons and drinking Hennessey- but that’s not the point! The point is Stuart Slane is boring like a box of walnuts.
.. What do you mean, why? It’s because Stuart Slane has all the charisma of road kill Dominos pizza and half the selling value. Face it, there is no draw power in Stuart Slane. No one wants to see Stuart Slane fight the road crew in catering for the last piece of carrot cake, let alone see Stuart slane in a fourty-five minute main event match against Oblivion. There is not a soul alive on this planet or the next who thought to themselves:
‘ HMM, Stuart Slane is fighting Jeff Purse, better get my tickets early before they sell out.’
Spoilers, Michael, they never sold out. And the only reason anyone bought a shred of a ticket- spent a pence of a pounce was because of MY CLIENT, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS! My client, Zombie McMorris, the innovator, the ICON, The heart and soul of this company, the banner man of this company carried that entire Pay Per View with four anvil scrubs on his back and made the entire event watchable.
.. Are you insane? The main event wasn’t good. Nathan Chambers, James – whats his face, Jeff Purse and Stuart Slane? I would rather get a root canal by Edward Scissor hands while he typed his memoirs on the worlds smallest type writer in my mouth while I was fully awake and getting audited by the IRS.
… You’re damn right, now that I put it that way. Michael, there is no other way to put it. A blind man can painfully see that The Ultimate Showdown only has one clear and concise winner.
… I’m not telling you that my client should win it or that he deserves to win it. I am telling you that my client IS going to win it because there is nobody in this match with the experience or the innate knowledge to win the match.
.. Well, yes. Do you know why I’m discrediting the current world champion so much; because he is not World Champion material. Let me tell you something about Stuart Slane. Stuart Slane has been in this company just as long as Zombie McMorris and they could have – at one time set the world on fire. But that never happened. It never happened because the novelty of “The Scout Master” wore off. It wore thin and people just tuned off. Here is another little thing about the former Scout Master – five years in this company, a combined six months as champion. That is total, with his three titles. Okay? Really. Like who is this guy? People are going to ask that and they already ask that. I have people coming up to me on the streets –THE STREETS – they ask me:
‘Father Roman, who is Stuart Slane? Why is this man world champion. ‘ And that is IF they can even stay awake during his match or during --- “
Buddy Roman lets out a loud and tiresome yawn.
“ See, even I can barely stay awake and I’m just talking about him. Just thinking about Stuart Slane is enough to put a hospice patient out of their misery. People either had to have seen Stuart Slane when he first got here in WCF or they don’t know him at all. At ALL, Michael. Do you understand that; we reach a pitiful one million viewers on Slam. After Mexico, our numbers tanked. Talent left, talent walked. Our Roster shrank from over forty stars to under twenty and do you know who was there through it all – MY CLIENT, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS. THE PRIMERE WORLD CHAMPION OF OUR COMPANY.
.. If Seth likes money he’ll go for it. If Seth Lerch likes money and likes that G-six air plane he bought earlier this year then yes. Michael, right now we are barely reaching a million viewers; Slam should be reaching four to five times as much. There is zero reason for this company to dip below three million and there is no reason for anyone to be champion aside from the uncrowned world champion, ZOMBIE MCMORRIS.
.. alright, you get back to me and I’ll get back to you with jetpack-esq levels of money. You’re a bright guy, Michael. “
Click
The Shape, the Jew among Jews and the advocate of Zombie McMorris ends the call on his iPhone and slips it back into his pocket. The King-Roman compound was buzzing with news both from White Stevens upheld NFL suspension to Zombie McMorriss’ match in The Ultimate Showdown. Buddy Roman stood in the kitchen, leaning up against the counter top as he bit his lip in deep thought over the realization that HIS CLIENT was going to be WCF World Champion. White Steven was carrying his news surprising well as ZMAC was up on the roof reading a letter he had gotten in the mail just a few days prior. It was a reflective time for everyone. The only issue is that the Bishop Street Review Board had been asking questions and snooping around into what “exactly happened” to Avery King.
“What happened, indeed.” Scoffed the Shape. The Shape looks down at his watch then adjusts his tie. “ I don’t want to keep them waiting. I do not want to keep anyone waiting. From the Bishop Street Review Board to the Ultimate Showdown cardboard cut outs.” However, they would have to wait as there were more pressing things to tend to. Even before talking to Michael Wallinski, Buddy Roman had secured special interview time so that he could get his message across to the WCF loyal. He was waiting on a text and finally the chirp that he had been waiting for. Buddy Roman takes the phone out of his pocket and checks the message.
[ Sunday night 5:59 PM ]
" ZMAC, get down here. We have a plane to catch."
The Shape looked up and grinned and evil yet succulent grim; the kind that made you want to hate him and yet love him at the same time. Before the review board could get their answers, the Shape and The Evil Incarnate had to go catch a plane and a multi-stop world tour interview with Hank Brown. He planned the tour starting in Rio ahead of the Olympics then to England, Germany, India and Japan because the Shape wanted to have the first interview ahead of anyone else because in his mind..
CHAMPIONS. STRIKE. FIRST.
