Perfectly eXtreme part 2
Jun 29, 2016 17:18:43 GMT -5
via mobile
Zombie DankMorris, Stuart Slane, and 2 more like this
Post by Mikey eXtreme on Jun 29, 2016 17:18:43 GMT -5
Mikey sat at a booth at some local piece of shit diner in Newark, New Jersey. Across the table from him sat Vidalia. Freakshow was not present, but could be presumed to be lurking somewhere nearby.
vidalia: How come we always go to these shitty diners?
Mikey picked up the menu and pointed to the prices.
mikey extreme: You see how much this shit costs? It’s practically free. I can’t afford an elaborate meal, I work for the WCF.
vidalia: But, you already have money..
mikey extreme: That’s my retirement fund.
vidalia: You have enough in there to retire now and live for a really long time.
mikey extreme: That’s not the point.
vidalia: Isn’t it?
mikey extreme: Listen, that money will come in handy when I’m old and shit.
Vidalia sighs.
mikey extreme: Plus, you know I love me some bacon-egg-and-cheeses.
Vidalia sighs again.
vidalia: I have a pimple between my eyebrows.
mikey extreme: That reminds me of Nathan Chambers. He's like an annoying pimple that just won't go away. No matter what you do, it's just sitting there bothering you.
You want to pop it but it just won't pop. You want to ignore it but it's sitting there driving you insane.
But, give it time and it'll go away. That's why I've waited so patiently for this match. That's why I've been sitting back taking on these jackasses each week. Watching Nathan carry my hardcore championship around like its his.
I hope he's saying his goodbyes right now. Because in a few short days that belt will be where it belongs. That belt will be around my waist.
The waitress finally comes to take their order, she smells like cigarettes and cheap perfume.
Waitress: Have you decided what you would like to eat?
Her stupid New Jersey accent was thick. Mikey hated crossing the river and spending any amount of time in this shithole of a state. But at least he's finally out of Pennsylvania, so there's that!
mikey extreme: Give me a bacon egg and cheese on a roll with a side of bacon.
Waitress: You do know there is already bacon on that, right, sir?
mikey extreme: Yes, I'm not a fucking moron.
The woman raised her eyebrows in shock at the way Mikey was speaking to her.
vidalia: I'll have the breakfast platter with a coffee, please
Waitress: at least one of you has manners.
mikey extreme: Whatever. I'll take a Jack and Coke.
Waitress: we don't serve alcohol here, you're gonna have to order something else.
Mikey sighs as the waitress mutters under her breath.
mikey extreme: bring me an orange juice then. What kind of place doesn't have whiskey?
Waitress: Most places.
She mutters something about an alcoholic under her breath.
mikey extreme: what was that?
Waitress: you're food will be out shortly.
The waitress walked away as Vidalia began to speak to Mikey.
vidalia: why do you always do that?
mikey extreme: Do what?
vidalia: get into fights everywhere we go?
mikey extreme: that lady was being a dick. She had to be put in her place. It's just like in the WCF.. I see someone being a dick to me, I'm going to do something about it.
Take Nathaniel for example, the dude is a dick.
He walks around with a belt that he did not earn and acts as though he is the champion. He has done nothing to prove that. Hell, he has done the opposite. He lost in a match to Dat Hawt American Darkness and then he went on to lose in the world title match.
Does that scream champion to you?
Because I don't see it. To call this guy a champion is an insult to anyone who has ever been a champion.
The waitress returns with their drinks.
mikey extreme: something this lady wouldn't know anything about
Mikey laughs as the waitress rolls her eyes.
mikey extreme: the fact of the matter is that I am miles above Nathan Chambers. So far, in fact, that I cannot lose this match. I cannot be beat in this match.
Because I am a champion.
No matter what Nathan brings to this match, he cannot defeat me. He can try but it will not result in the manner that he wishes. It will not slide in his favor. There is only one outcome and that would be me walking out of this shithole of a city with the hardcore championship around my waist.
And the first thing I'll do with this championship?
I'll swing on over to Brooklyn to where real champions are from.
Waitress: I should have realized you were from New York.
Mikey laughed.
mikey extreme: Is that supposed to be an insult? Because I'm proud that I'm from Brooklyn? Have you seen this dump you call New Jersey? This is the scummiest place I've ever seen.
The waitress gets fed up and walks away.
mikey extreme: This bitch is lucky that I'm saving up this aggression for Chambers or this foot would have connected with her face and sent her teeth right down her throat.
But this foot is locked and loaded.
Nathan Chambers will feel what it's like to step into the ring with X, and I can guarantee that he won't like it. I can guarantee that this experience will change him and leave him a broken shell of a man.
Come Slam the world gets a glimpse of a new hardcore champion. Come Slam that strap will forever be marked eXtreme.
The scene fades as the waitress returns with their good which Mikey promptly devoured and left no tip.
vidalia: How come we always go to these shitty diners?
Mikey picked up the menu and pointed to the prices.
mikey extreme: You see how much this shit costs? It’s practically free. I can’t afford an elaborate meal, I work for the WCF.
vidalia: But, you already have money..
mikey extreme: That’s my retirement fund.
vidalia: You have enough in there to retire now and live for a really long time.
mikey extreme: That’s not the point.
vidalia: Isn’t it?
mikey extreme: Listen, that money will come in handy when I’m old and shit.
Vidalia sighs.
mikey extreme: Plus, you know I love me some bacon-egg-and-cheeses.
Vidalia sighs again.
vidalia: I have a pimple between my eyebrows.
mikey extreme: That reminds me of Nathan Chambers. He's like an annoying pimple that just won't go away. No matter what you do, it's just sitting there bothering you.
You want to pop it but it just won't pop. You want to ignore it but it's sitting there driving you insane.
But, give it time and it'll go away. That's why I've waited so patiently for this match. That's why I've been sitting back taking on these jackasses each week. Watching Nathan carry my hardcore championship around like its his.
I hope he's saying his goodbyes right now. Because in a few short days that belt will be where it belongs. That belt will be around my waist.
The waitress finally comes to take their order, she smells like cigarettes and cheap perfume.
Waitress: Have you decided what you would like to eat?
Her stupid New Jersey accent was thick. Mikey hated crossing the river and spending any amount of time in this shithole of a state. But at least he's finally out of Pennsylvania, so there's that!
mikey extreme: Give me a bacon egg and cheese on a roll with a side of bacon.
Waitress: You do know there is already bacon on that, right, sir?
mikey extreme: Yes, I'm not a fucking moron.
The woman raised her eyebrows in shock at the way Mikey was speaking to her.
vidalia: I'll have the breakfast platter with a coffee, please
Waitress: at least one of you has manners.
mikey extreme: Whatever. I'll take a Jack and Coke.
Waitress: we don't serve alcohol here, you're gonna have to order something else.
Mikey sighs as the waitress mutters under her breath.
mikey extreme: bring me an orange juice then. What kind of place doesn't have whiskey?
Waitress: Most places.
She mutters something about an alcoholic under her breath.
mikey extreme: what was that?
Waitress: you're food will be out shortly.
The waitress walked away as Vidalia began to speak to Mikey.
vidalia: why do you always do that?
mikey extreme: Do what?
vidalia: get into fights everywhere we go?
mikey extreme: that lady was being a dick. She had to be put in her place. It's just like in the WCF.. I see someone being a dick to me, I'm going to do something about it.
Take Nathaniel for example, the dude is a dick.
He walks around with a belt that he did not earn and acts as though he is the champion. He has done nothing to prove that. Hell, he has done the opposite. He lost in a match to Dat Hawt American Darkness and then he went on to lose in the world title match.
Does that scream champion to you?
Because I don't see it. To call this guy a champion is an insult to anyone who has ever been a champion.
The waitress returns with their drinks.
mikey extreme: something this lady wouldn't know anything about
Mikey laughs as the waitress rolls her eyes.
mikey extreme: the fact of the matter is that I am miles above Nathan Chambers. So far, in fact, that I cannot lose this match. I cannot be beat in this match.
Because I am a champion.
No matter what Nathan brings to this match, he cannot defeat me. He can try but it will not result in the manner that he wishes. It will not slide in his favor. There is only one outcome and that would be me walking out of this shithole of a city with the hardcore championship around my waist.
And the first thing I'll do with this championship?
I'll swing on over to Brooklyn to where real champions are from.
Waitress: I should have realized you were from New York.
Mikey laughed.
mikey extreme: Is that supposed to be an insult? Because I'm proud that I'm from Brooklyn? Have you seen this dump you call New Jersey? This is the scummiest place I've ever seen.
The waitress gets fed up and walks away.
mikey extreme: This bitch is lucky that I'm saving up this aggression for Chambers or this foot would have connected with her face and sent her teeth right down her throat.
But this foot is locked and loaded.
Nathan Chambers will feel what it's like to step into the ring with X, and I can guarantee that he won't like it. I can guarantee that this experience will change him and leave him a broken shell of a man.
Come Slam the world gets a glimpse of a new hardcore champion. Come Slam that strap will forever be marked eXtreme.
The scene fades as the waitress returns with their good which Mikey promptly devoured and left no tip.
