Post by Psychopomp on Jun 18, 2016 13:05:49 GMT -5
The camera opens in a cozy recording studio of a local company that does voice overs for infomercials. The producer, assistant and engineer walks in to set up the session. The room fills with tiny green and red lights from the console the lights in the recording booth turns on. After a few minutes the producers asks his assistant to get the person they hired to do the next few commercials. He comes back with a tall man dressed in a blue navy suit that had to be tailored for a bigger man than him, crooked black tie,
messy long hair and neon green running shoes. The Producer looks up and down and seems a little confused about his choice of attire.
Producer: Mr. Pomp I imagine?
Pomp: "That's me! Thank you for giving me this opportunity."
He then goes to shake the hand of the Producer which he carefully shakes back
Producer: "Sure, i have to say that is quite an outfit you got on."
Pomp: "Thank you, I tried to look professional and it was all i could afford at the thrift store. "
Producer: "Well at least thank you for trying...I can see now why you applied for the job in the penny ads."
Pomp: "I'm really excited about this! I'm all pumped up! HAHA! get it?!"
An awkward silence fills the room as the producer probably realized the mistake his assistant made when hiring one of the new wrestlers of the WCF. He slowly turns his head to stare at his assistant who's obviously avoiding his glare.
Assistant: "He sounded normal on the phone." he whispers "And he's the only one who was willing to do it for that price!
Producer: "Fine, the sooner we get this started." Forces his hand out of Psychopomp's grip from the handshake that was still going on" The sooner we can finish this."
Pomp: "Sounds good to me"
As he enters the recording booth and places the headphones around his slick hair, the Producer keeps massaging his hand that was still a bit numb from the hand-shake
Producer: "SO, in a couple of weeks there's going to be a job fair in town and we'll be doing commercials for some of the companies that's going to be there. You can read over the script for each one before we do them. Sounds good?"
Pomp: "Hundo!"
Producer: "Super...The first one is for Bunghole Liquors, obviously a store that sell alcohol. AND GO!"
The sound engineer starts recording and the red light goes on
Pomp: "Come and apply to join our great company. You can easily start at the bottom and rise up in our ranks! We might not be #1, butt we're right up there!"
Producer: "That was good" He was clearly surprised on how well it went. "Now read the next one it'll be for Morningwood Lumber and furniture. Ready? GO!"
Pomp: Morning what? Not too sure about the name they chose he just started reading the script "We know competition can get pretty hard and stiff in the construction industry but we've always risen up to the challenge and we need more people that share that same passion that we do at tugging down our competition. So Stop at our booth, apply and be ready to work hard with us..."
The Producer seemed even more happy about that take.
Pomp: "I feel dirty in my insides..."
Producer: "Next one is for a new chain of Vietnamese restaurant that's in the area called 'Pho me, Pho you'"
Pomp: "Come on!"
Producer: "GO!"
Pomp: "Oh god...Come visit us to work in the great Pho community. Where we Pho at day and Pho all night! Ok these can't be real?!"
Producer: "What you don't know them? I'm guessing you're not from around here."
Pomp: "No..."
Producer: "We only have one to do and we're done. You should feel right at home with this one. Good!"
Pomp: "Ok I can do that one. Sign-up to become the next star of WCF and join SUPERSTARS like Logan, Oblivion, The plague Kevin Bishop and Zombie McMorris! Wait they mentioned Bishop but not me?!"
Producer: "Don't care, didn't even know who you were, they just sent the script and we record it. Ok we're done. Thank and we'll send you a cheque in the mail."
Pomp leaves the recording booth to go back in the recording area with a little sour taste in his mouth from those more than questionable ads and that he was left out of his own Federation promo. He goes for another hand shake but the producer just taps Psychopomp on the back and leaves. The engineer also takes off and the assistant hands a sheet of paper to him.
Assistant: "For some reason we receive a fax for you...Why did they send it to us?"
Pomp: "Well i obviously don't own a fax!"
He looks down at the paper and while ignoring the assistant she leaves the room
Pomp: "OH MY GOD A CONTENDER MATCH FOR THE UNITED STATE BELT! (Pomp pauses and thinks for a second) But i'm not even American!? I'm pretty sure i was born in Canada. Could i have been wrong all this time?? Such a discovery, i should call momma...If i knew where she was...or her phone number...or if she was alive for that matter" he nervously laugh
Pomp paces around the recording studio fixing on the sheet of paper.
Pomp: "United State belt, United State belt, United State belt...It as a nice ring to it. Should i practice my American accent? (takes on a bad thick Texan-like accent) Hay ya'll can i have a Triple-Triple burger from Wayback with a side of corn bread and a diet coke? Great! YEEAAHHHWW." Goes back to his regular voice. "That sounds about right."
Pomp: "And all i have to do is beat good ol' Kevin...Wait...which one is he again? Is he the cult leader who showed up in the right after my match? Or is it the one that drive like a witless buffoon and kidnapping poor innocent refs? OH i know! It's the one that likes to BBQ and offer it to people...BUT does he bring the sauce with those delicious ribs?!? I think not! I always bring sauce when i'm invited to parties, sauce is awesome."
We can clearly see him space out for a few seconds
Pomp: "Yum sauce...What was i talking about? Oh yes!" Talks with a German accent "ZE PLAGUE, ZE PLAGUE!" Stops for obvious reasons "Ha ha...He sure likes to talk a lot about himself that one. Oh I've beaten off gods, i'll give you cookies if you like me and i have a hot wife.
He raised his arms and flails them around
Pomp: "And the doctors thought i was crazy! Out of that bunch i bet i look pretty good now!"
Finaly decided to sit down on the couch to calm himself down a bit
Pomp: "Next week i'll continue my WCF undefeated streak! I'll make people scream my name in joy after i pin you down for that 1-2-3! The fan will rejoice in your lost. Your followers will leave you, your t-shirt sales will go down the drain and your wife's going to leave you." He pauses for a few seconds to think "Wow...That's pretty cold. For her to do that to you!? I mean she should be there for you! Not break that tiny invisible heart of yours after you hit rock bottom. And i thought your" Make air quotation marks "Followers" stops quotation marks "We're your friends...That's not nice of them to do that and join New Logan's gang! Man...so harsh."
Psychopomp looks back at the poorly printed fax copy of next weeks Slam
Pomp: "But i have to do it! Sorry man, it's not an easy decision to make but i have to get that gold! Even if it means ruining all that you built up 'till now! After i win at Slam i'll send you a nice e-card to say how sorry i am but not really about beating you, I'm a nice guy like that. I'm sure Severan King can take care of your ex-wife, she seem to have a type; tall,dark and delusional."
Pomp gets back up to face the camera.
Pomp: And don't worry, after Slam, Wehen you'll go to sleep, in your idle dreams. Your pain will drown your silent screams..."
He then picks up the camera he had actually placed there before the session and while moving around to get out of the room he notices a magazine on the table in the middle of the room.
Pomp: "WHAT LEONARD NEMOY DIED!?!? AND NOBODY TOLD ME!?!?"
He rushes out of the room obviously upset at the year old news
messy long hair and neon green running shoes. The Producer looks up and down and seems a little confused about his choice of attire.
Producer: Mr. Pomp I imagine?
Pomp: "That's me! Thank you for giving me this opportunity."
He then goes to shake the hand of the Producer which he carefully shakes back
Producer: "Sure, i have to say that is quite an outfit you got on."
Pomp: "Thank you, I tried to look professional and it was all i could afford at the thrift store. "
Producer: "Well at least thank you for trying...I can see now why you applied for the job in the penny ads."
Pomp: "I'm really excited about this! I'm all pumped up! HAHA! get it?!"
An awkward silence fills the room as the producer probably realized the mistake his assistant made when hiring one of the new wrestlers of the WCF. He slowly turns his head to stare at his assistant who's obviously avoiding his glare.
Assistant: "He sounded normal on the phone." he whispers "And he's the only one who was willing to do it for that price!
Producer: "Fine, the sooner we get this started." Forces his hand out of Psychopomp's grip from the handshake that was still going on" The sooner we can finish this."
Pomp: "Sounds good to me"
As he enters the recording booth and places the headphones around his slick hair, the Producer keeps massaging his hand that was still a bit numb from the hand-shake
Producer: "SO, in a couple of weeks there's going to be a job fair in town and we'll be doing commercials for some of the companies that's going to be there. You can read over the script for each one before we do them. Sounds good?"
Pomp: "Hundo!"
Producer: "Super...The first one is for Bunghole Liquors, obviously a store that sell alcohol. AND GO!"
The sound engineer starts recording and the red light goes on
Pomp: "Come and apply to join our great company. You can easily start at the bottom and rise up in our ranks! We might not be #1, butt we're right up there!"
Producer: "That was good" He was clearly surprised on how well it went. "Now read the next one it'll be for Morningwood Lumber and furniture. Ready? GO!"
Pomp: Morning what? Not too sure about the name they chose he just started reading the script "We know competition can get pretty hard and stiff in the construction industry but we've always risen up to the challenge and we need more people that share that same passion that we do at tugging down our competition. So Stop at our booth, apply and be ready to work hard with us..."
The Producer seemed even more happy about that take.
Pomp: "I feel dirty in my insides..."
Producer: "Next one is for a new chain of Vietnamese restaurant that's in the area called 'Pho me, Pho you'"
Pomp: "Come on!"
Producer: "GO!"
Pomp: "Oh god...Come visit us to work in the great Pho community. Where we Pho at day and Pho all night! Ok these can't be real?!"
Producer: "What you don't know them? I'm guessing you're not from around here."
Pomp: "No..."
Producer: "We only have one to do and we're done. You should feel right at home with this one. Good!"
Pomp: "Ok I can do that one. Sign-up to become the next star of WCF and join SUPERSTARS like Logan, Oblivion, The plague Kevin Bishop and Zombie McMorris! Wait they mentioned Bishop but not me?!"
Producer: "Don't care, didn't even know who you were, they just sent the script and we record it. Ok we're done. Thank and we'll send you a cheque in the mail."
Pomp leaves the recording booth to go back in the recording area with a little sour taste in his mouth from those more than questionable ads and that he was left out of his own Federation promo. He goes for another hand shake but the producer just taps Psychopomp on the back and leaves. The engineer also takes off and the assistant hands a sheet of paper to him.
Assistant: "For some reason we receive a fax for you...Why did they send it to us?"
Pomp: "Well i obviously don't own a fax!"
He looks down at the paper and while ignoring the assistant she leaves the room
Pomp: "OH MY GOD A CONTENDER MATCH FOR THE UNITED STATE BELT! (Pomp pauses and thinks for a second) But i'm not even American!? I'm pretty sure i was born in Canada. Could i have been wrong all this time?? Such a discovery, i should call momma...If i knew where she was...or her phone number...or if she was alive for that matter" he nervously laugh
Pomp paces around the recording studio fixing on the sheet of paper.
Pomp: "United State belt, United State belt, United State belt...It as a nice ring to it. Should i practice my American accent? (takes on a bad thick Texan-like accent) Hay ya'll can i have a Triple-Triple burger from Wayback with a side of corn bread and a diet coke? Great! YEEAAHHHWW." Goes back to his regular voice. "That sounds about right."
Pomp: "And all i have to do is beat good ol' Kevin...Wait...which one is he again? Is he the cult leader who showed up in the right after my match? Or is it the one that drive like a witless buffoon and kidnapping poor innocent refs? OH i know! It's the one that likes to BBQ and offer it to people...BUT does he bring the sauce with those delicious ribs?!? I think not! I always bring sauce when i'm invited to parties, sauce is awesome."
We can clearly see him space out for a few seconds
Pomp: "Yum sauce...What was i talking about? Oh yes!" Talks with a German accent "ZE PLAGUE, ZE PLAGUE!" Stops for obvious reasons "Ha ha...He sure likes to talk a lot about himself that one. Oh I've beaten off gods, i'll give you cookies if you like me and i have a hot wife.
He raised his arms and flails them around
Pomp: "And the doctors thought i was crazy! Out of that bunch i bet i look pretty good now!"
Finaly decided to sit down on the couch to calm himself down a bit
Pomp: "Next week i'll continue my WCF undefeated streak! I'll make people scream my name in joy after i pin you down for that 1-2-3! The fan will rejoice in your lost. Your followers will leave you, your t-shirt sales will go down the drain and your wife's going to leave you." He pauses for a few seconds to think "Wow...That's pretty cold. For her to do that to you!? I mean she should be there for you! Not break that tiny invisible heart of yours after you hit rock bottom. And i thought your" Make air quotation marks "Followers" stops quotation marks "We're your friends...That's not nice of them to do that and join New Logan's gang! Man...so harsh."
Psychopomp looks back at the poorly printed fax copy of next weeks Slam
Pomp: "But i have to do it! Sorry man, it's not an easy decision to make but i have to get that gold! Even if it means ruining all that you built up 'till now! After i win at Slam i'll send you a nice e-card to say how sorry i am but not really about beating you, I'm a nice guy like that. I'm sure Severan King can take care of your ex-wife, she seem to have a type; tall,dark and delusional."
Pomp gets back up to face the camera.
Pomp: And don't worry, after Slam, Wehen you'll go to sleep, in your idle dreams. Your pain will drown your silent screams..."
He then picks up the camera he had actually placed there before the session and while moving around to get out of the room he notices a magazine on the table in the middle of the room.
Pomp: "WHAT LEONARD NEMOY DIED!?!? AND NOBODY TOLD ME!?!?"
He rushes out of the room obviously upset at the year old news
