Post by 'The Shine' Brent Alpine on Jun 12, 2016 16:14:02 GMT -5
(OOC - Apologies for my worst ever RP. I organised a 300 people strong party today for work and my head has been thumping ever since. I will be showing care and motivation again very soon.)
Brent Alpine, Dallas Culture and the delightful Esther are sat in a clinical looking airport lounge. Culture and Esther are transfixed by the view outside - various baggage related activity and planes being positioned on the runway. Brent, meanwhile, appears to be looking for something in his small carry on bag.
Esther: So Brent, your next opponent is a... wizard.
Dallas Culture: Do you know any spells, cuz?
Alpine ignores them and continues to peer into his bag.
Esther: You know, Greybeard is obviously a parody but there are real life warlocks out there. There are people genuinely casting spells and playing with demonic forces. These people don't wear pointy hats and carry around broomsticks. What's scary is that they are regular sorts - accountants, shop assistants, doctors.
Dallas Culture: Let me guess, you're one of these fundamentalist Christians that believe Harry Potter is Satan's weapon to pollute young minds.
Esther: Err, no. In fact, I've got all the books. Just because I'm a Christian, doesn't mean I'm a whackjob. And speaking of whackjobs, isn't this a strange opponent to give Brent?
Alpine looks up from his bag and joins the conversation.
Brent Alpine: It's a bloody load of balderdash. I am the most mesmeric, radiant, effervescent shooting star in the WCF. I should be in the ring with someone at least capable. Not that anyone comes close to my brilliance.
Esther: Maybe it's a punishment for you attacking Orbit and Slane.
Brent Alpine: I didn't attack them! Why would I need to do that? Those drongos pose no threat.
Esther: But you do realise that it's all over Twitter that you were the attacker?
Alpine immediately pulls out his phone and types 'I categorically deny any involvement in the attack of Slane or Orbit #itwasntme' on his Twitter app.
Brent Alpine: That's put that rumour to bed.
Suddenly, we hear a cacophony of bleeping come from inside Alpine's bag. He unzips it further and a pig's head pops out. It is Percy Micro, sniffing the air frantically for breath.
Percy Micro: Sir, I've just read your tweet. You must correct it immediately.
Brent Alpine: What? Why?
Percy Micro: Is it not evident? You are booked against Greybeard on this week's Slam. There is quite clearly an issue with your legitimacy to be paired with that joke of a wrestler.
Brent Alpine: Say what?
Percy Micro: The WCF brass clearly does not take you seriously, Mr. Alpine. Greybeard is usually paired with the wrestlers consigned to the light relief slot on the show. He's a card filler, sir, and that is the level you have been relegated to.
Brent Alpine: But I'm The bloody Shine. Is my orgasmic excellence not obvious to those flamin' galahs?
Percy Micro: Sir, if I may be curt, you are an incredible talent... but you're too nice. You're rather easy going and I fear your... err 'radiance' is making people see you as a soft touch.
Brent Alpine: Aww mate, I get this a lot. I bring so much joy into these pathetic weasels lives. My light can sometimes be misconstrued as gentleness. Weasals always bite the hand that feeds and, let's face it, I feed very abundantly. You might be right, Percy.
Percy Micro: Exactly. Therefore, maybe you should retract your denial of the attacks on Orbit and Slane...
Brent Alpine: But I didn't do them.
Percy Micro: Yes but the WCF Galaxy doesn't know that. It might be beneficial if some suspicion falls on you. To be blamed for those savage attacks could prove a tactical masterstroke.
Alpine ponders it, resting his face into his clasped fist.
Esther: I don't see how it benefits Brent to have a reputation of fear. He's a good enough wrestler not to need to conform with all these violent men.
Dallas Culture: I agree. That's playing to those of low consciousness, the ego identified. Anyway, Brent's very legitimate to me.
Percy Micro: Look at us - He hangs around with a miniature pig, a fairy tale believing do-gooder girl and a hippy who sexualises the most pungent and bacteria coated area of a woman's body.
Dallas Culture: Hey! I do not sexualise feet. I have spiritual connections with them!
Alpine shakes his head and looks at his phone again. We can see Twitter on the screen. He types 'Sorry, typo. I categorically accept any involvement in the attack of Slane and Orbit #itwasme'.
Brent Alpine: Percy's right. I need to do something about my reputation. No more Mr. Nice Shine.
Fade out.
Brent Alpine, Dallas Culture and the delightful Esther are sat in a clinical looking airport lounge. Culture and Esther are transfixed by the view outside - various baggage related activity and planes being positioned on the runway. Brent, meanwhile, appears to be looking for something in his small carry on bag.
Esther: So Brent, your next opponent is a... wizard.
Dallas Culture: Do you know any spells, cuz?
Alpine ignores them and continues to peer into his bag.
Esther: You know, Greybeard is obviously a parody but there are real life warlocks out there. There are people genuinely casting spells and playing with demonic forces. These people don't wear pointy hats and carry around broomsticks. What's scary is that they are regular sorts - accountants, shop assistants, doctors.
Dallas Culture: Let me guess, you're one of these fundamentalist Christians that believe Harry Potter is Satan's weapon to pollute young minds.
Esther: Err, no. In fact, I've got all the books. Just because I'm a Christian, doesn't mean I'm a whackjob. And speaking of whackjobs, isn't this a strange opponent to give Brent?
Alpine looks up from his bag and joins the conversation.
Brent Alpine: It's a bloody load of balderdash. I am the most mesmeric, radiant, effervescent shooting star in the WCF. I should be in the ring with someone at least capable. Not that anyone comes close to my brilliance.
Esther: Maybe it's a punishment for you attacking Orbit and Slane.
Brent Alpine: I didn't attack them! Why would I need to do that? Those drongos pose no threat.
Esther: But you do realise that it's all over Twitter that you were the attacker?
Alpine immediately pulls out his phone and types 'I categorically deny any involvement in the attack of Slane or Orbit #itwasntme' on his Twitter app.
Brent Alpine: That's put that rumour to bed.
Suddenly, we hear a cacophony of bleeping come from inside Alpine's bag. He unzips it further and a pig's head pops out. It is Percy Micro, sniffing the air frantically for breath.
Percy Micro: Sir, I've just read your tweet. You must correct it immediately.
Brent Alpine: What? Why?
Percy Micro: Is it not evident? You are booked against Greybeard on this week's Slam. There is quite clearly an issue with your legitimacy to be paired with that joke of a wrestler.
Brent Alpine: Say what?
Percy Micro: The WCF brass clearly does not take you seriously, Mr. Alpine. Greybeard is usually paired with the wrestlers consigned to the light relief slot on the show. He's a card filler, sir, and that is the level you have been relegated to.
Brent Alpine: But I'm The bloody Shine. Is my orgasmic excellence not obvious to those flamin' galahs?
Percy Micro: Sir, if I may be curt, you are an incredible talent... but you're too nice. You're rather easy going and I fear your... err 'radiance' is making people see you as a soft touch.
Brent Alpine: Aww mate, I get this a lot. I bring so much joy into these pathetic weasels lives. My light can sometimes be misconstrued as gentleness. Weasals always bite the hand that feeds and, let's face it, I feed very abundantly. You might be right, Percy.
Percy Micro: Exactly. Therefore, maybe you should retract your denial of the attacks on Orbit and Slane...
Brent Alpine: But I didn't do them.
Percy Micro: Yes but the WCF Galaxy doesn't know that. It might be beneficial if some suspicion falls on you. To be blamed for those savage attacks could prove a tactical masterstroke.
Alpine ponders it, resting his face into his clasped fist.
Esther: I don't see how it benefits Brent to have a reputation of fear. He's a good enough wrestler not to need to conform with all these violent men.
Dallas Culture: I agree. That's playing to those of low consciousness, the ego identified. Anyway, Brent's very legitimate to me.
Percy Micro: Look at us - He hangs around with a miniature pig, a fairy tale believing do-gooder girl and a hippy who sexualises the most pungent and bacteria coated area of a woman's body.
Dallas Culture: Hey! I do not sexualise feet. I have spiritual connections with them!
Alpine shakes his head and looks at his phone again. We can see Twitter on the screen. He types 'Sorry, typo. I categorically accept any involvement in the attack of Slane and Orbit #itwasme'.
Brent Alpine: Percy's right. I need to do something about my reputation. No more Mr. Nice Shine.
Fade out.
