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Post by excalibur on May 27, 2016 15:22:50 GMT -5
I'm all ears to anyone who wants to give me feedback. Its my first rp in a new fed so it might take me a while to a custom myself to WCF.
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Post by Night Rider on May 29, 2016 11:04:37 GMT -5
It was a good start. Once your character gets more involved you will have more to work with and your roleplays will improve. Keep up the good work.
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Post by excalibur on May 29, 2016 11:12:07 GMT -5
Thanks Night Rider!
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Post by excalibur on May 31, 2016 13:01:02 GMT -5
I'd love some feedback on my latest rp guys.
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Post by 'The Shine' Brent Alpine on May 31, 2016 17:04:33 GMT -5
Howdy. I thought the latest RP was a big improvement from your first one. It felt easy to read and had a bit more depth.
I'd give three points to maybe work on. I'm by no means a top guy here so please don't take this as me being condescending -
1) Show more unique characterisation. At the moment, he's just confident wrestler guy. I'd like to know the character better as expressed through the scene.
2) You write well enough to give the character more than a standard wrestling promo in a single location. I'd like to see him in a more interesting setting. Perhaps tell a story within the RP.
3) Where you said something like 'he pauses for effect to let it sink in' and then repeated the description shortly after - 'he pauses for effect again', you could possibly have shown this rather than told it.
I'm happy you're here and keen to continuously improve. Looking forward to seeing what you do next.
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Post by excalibur on Jun 1, 2016 2:07:01 GMT -5
Howdy. I thought the latest RP was a big improvement from your first one. It felt easy to read and had a bit more depth. I'd give three points to maybe work on. I'm by no means a top guy here so please don't take this as me being condescending - 1) Show more unique characterisation. At the moment, he's just confident wrestler guy. I'd like to know the character better as expressed through the scene. 2) You write well enough to give the character more than a standard wrestling promo in a single location. I'd like to see him in a more interesting setting. Perhaps tell a story within the RP. 3) Where you said something like 'he pauses for effect to let it sink in' and then repeated the description shortly after - 'he pauses for effect again', you could possibly have shown this rather than told it. I'm happy you're here and keen to continuously improve. Looking forward to seeing what you do next. Thanks!
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