This Isn't a Game

[Thomas Uriel Bates]

Scene I “What the…”
8th of May, 2016

Now he’s done it. Management has been pushing him to make a heel turn since he signed up the first time. Everyone expects the big guy to be the heel. Too much power resting in one man, so obviously he must be bad. This was completely against what he wanted, and what he believed. Somehow, he had to make the heel turn look realistic to his personality. Far too many wrestlers have turned heel, or face, with no legitimate purpose. Hulk Hogan stripping away his red and yellow for the nWo, Sting turning on Hogan after Hogan turned away from the nWo, Jim Duggan trades in the American flag for the Canadian; none of it made sense. Now Thomas Uriel Bates beats down Joey Flash and allows for Logan to take advantage and win the WCF World Championship.

So here sits the massive mountain of WCF in his locker room shortly before he is scheduled to address the WCF Galaxy and explain himself. He holds a notebook and a pencil as he talks to himself, trying to see what makes sense.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Tired of being the good guy? No.

Bates marks off something on the notebook.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Spirit of a vengeful wrestler? No, too much like Oblivion, Abaddon, Armageddon, and nearly every other big guy in wrestling.

Bates marks off another option from the notebook.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Someone holding someone hostage? Hmm… that could work.

Before he could even put lead to paper, the door to his locker room swings open. Mikey eXtreme bursts through the door and rushes up to Bates. The giant places his pencil and notebook down and looks at his DRG brother.

Mikey eXtreme: Bates, did you hear? Seth is shutting down the WCF!

Bates stands up shocked.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Wait, what? What is he doing that for?

Mikey eXtreme: I don’t know, something about family is all he said.

Bates looks at Mikey and shakes his head.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Thanks Mikey. I’ll go have a word with Seth.

Bates walks past Mikey and bolts out the door in search of now former owner of the WCF, Seth Lerch.

Scene II “We’re All Family”
8th of May, 2016

When your whole world is crashing all around you, what do you do? When that giant meteor is about to crash and end all life on Earth, do you run in fear, or do you keep playing the game? Some people buckle, some people will run, some people will hide, and some people will just accept death. Then there’s people like Thomas Uriel Bates. When his world came crashing down, he stormed out of the locker room in search of how to pull it back up.

If his massive size, and the fast pace of his walk wasn’t enough to make people move out of the way; the intensity in his eyes did the trick. Bates is a man of passion, perhaps even too much passion. He was passionate about his firm beliefs, even though it cost him many friendships in the WCF. He was passionate about the brotherhood of the DRG, even though it pitted him against the entire WCF. He was passionate about serving his country and defending the Constitution in the Senate, yet this is an age where passion in things that matter don’t matter. If you’re not shouting from the rooftops how stupid your opponent is, or calling them Lier or other names, then you just can’t win an election anymore.

So he’s back here in the WCF, a place he wished he never left. He came back for the Trios Cup, he came back to honor his friend Gonzo, and he came back to where he belonged. Now Seth Lerch has taken that away from him. It’s this passion that opened the door to Seth Lerch’s office, finding the WCF Owner in a drunken stupor behind his desk.

Thomas Uriel Bates: What the hell are you doing?

WCF’s resident Drunkard barely raised his head.

Seth Lerch: Huh?

Bates walked closer to the desk and swung his massive hand, knocking over a desk lamp and sending it crashing into a pile of empty cans.

Thomas Uriel Bates: What the hell are you doing shutting down the WCF?

Seth Lerch: I’m doing whatever the hell I want to. It’s my place!

Thomas Uriel Bates: It is your place Seth, but it’s my place too. It’s the fans place. It’s the place for everyone in that locker room that you just told to go fuck themselves. What the hell is wrong with you?

Seth Lerch: Me and Logan started this thing! We started it, it’s ours! It’s Family!

Thomas Uriel Bates: Damn right it’s family. Everyone in that locker room is family, and I don’t mean whatever hot dog incest loving Family deal you’ve got with Logan either. Just as you poured your heart and soul into this company, so does everyone in that locker room!

Seth pulls out a trash bin and dumps shredded paper on the desk.

Seth Lerch: That’s what I think of the locker room. That’s what I think about everyone that isn’t Family!

Bates picks up some of the paper and realizes what it is.

Thomas Uriel Bates: So you’re going to tank your own company in some kind of hissy fit?

Seth Lerch: It’s my company dammit! Now all those contracts are null and void!

Bates throws the handful of shredded paper back on the desk.

Thomas Uriel Bates: That’s not how this works. You breached their contracts, now you have to pay them all off. You’ve just spent all of your money laying off all of these people!

Seth Lerch: You think I give a shit? I don’t give a shit about them. I don’t give a shit about the fans, and I don’t give a shit about you!

Bates slams both fists on the desk, rattling the room and leaving two large dents in the oak top.

Thomas Uriel Bates: When all is said and done, with your Family’s broken bodies lying all around you, I promise you will care about me, the fans, and that locker room.

Bates shoves the desk back lightly, pushing Seth back a bit. The impassable mountain turns to leave the room. Just as he walks through the frame, Logan bursts in and bumps right into the massive mountain of WCF. Bates doesn’t budge, and instead stares down the new WCF World Heavyweight Champion. Bates snarls as he pushes past the Champion, leaving him to discover the chaos in Seth’s office.

Scene III: “New Slate”
22nd of May, 2016

A week earlier, WCF Owner Seth Lech shut the doors, shredded contracts, and threw the entire company down the toilet. Now, through the efforts of many people, including Thomas Uriel Bates, the WCF is back, although not quite the same. Many of those whose contracts were shredded have chosen to stay away, especially since the owner had exhibited unstable behavior. Over half the roster is gone, and those that are left are trying to pick up the pieces. Many of the Championships are gone as well, and now we have a new WCF Classic to determine the rankings of the company, and perhaps even a new Champion.

Thomas Uriel Bates sat in his secluded locker room holding tonight’s card in his hand. For a company just returning from the brink of death, the card was full. Halfway through the card you can see Thomas Uriel Bates and his opponent, James “The Game” Chevalier. From Main Event, to literally mid-card. Bates was not exactly happy. What can you expect though? In trying to stop Seth’s madness, Bates had threatened the boss, and the boss’s favorite pets.

Now Bates must compete against someone he has never even heard of. Just who is this James “The Game” Chevalier? His Twitter account wasn’t helpful. Just a few photos, and one or two posts, mostly responding to the notorious spammer and internet troll, Lilith. But the question remained; who is James “The Game” Chevalier?

The massive mountain stood up from his bench, and walked over to a table with an open laptop. The big man looked odd and out of place as he sat in the chair and typed on the computer. The infamous Google logo could be seen as he types in the name of his opponent.

Not too much to go with there. A few poorly shot videos showed what might be him. Bates clicked on one, and after a moment quickly clicked it off. Not him, but there are some sick people in the world today. Bates hesitates to click the next video, but is relieved when it begins to show an actual wrestling match. He recognizes him now. The denim shorts, the gamer t-shirt, the scruffy patchwork beard, this was the kid teaming up with none other than Logan and Dag Riddik, otherwise known as “The Family”

The big man smiles. Week one of the return, and he gets to dish out a little bit of revenge on one of Seth’s Family members? This was going to be exhilarating. The feeling of crushing one of Seth’s pets will be a pleasant experience for the impassable mountain, not so much for The Game.

Bates watched more of the match, and noticed a few interesting, though roughly executed, moves. He watched as his opponent raised his newly one title above his head as the YouTube video came to a close. Bates clicked on the official WCF website and quickly found his profile. Bates notices a name; Sammy Donnigan.

Bates opens another tab and types in The Game’s manager and is quickly answered with pages after pages of information, including a video. Bates clicks, and then confirms that he is indeed above eighteen years of age. The video plays briefly.

Tables, Ladders, and Chairs seem like a walk in the park to this guy. Thumbtacks, broken glass, barbwire, this was more up this guy’s alley. Nothing seemed to be taking him down either. Chair shots to the head, barbwire bats to the gut, even a kitchen sink. Literally a kitchen sink gets thrown at the guy and somehow he’s still standing.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Brutal.

Bates watches as Sammy Donnigan swings full strength at his opponent with a nailed baseball bat, taking a chunk of his opponent’s biceps right out of the guy’s arm. Medics rush into the ring as the camera quickly cuts away. Poorly edited words pop up on the screen, “Too Hardcore For TV. The Hardcore Legend; Sammy Donnigan”.

Thomas Uriel Bates: This guy is no joke. Going to have to keep an eye on him.

Time to see what the kid himself was up to. Maybe the old man taught him a thing or two since his Indy days. Bates quickly searches YouTube for the WCF Trios Cup Tournament Match. It is quick to find, as this year’s Trios Cup was cut short.

After a brief scuffle in which The Game performs poorly against Corey Black, the match finally begins. Shortly after, Bates chuckles a bit as Dag Riddik and The Game catch Teo Del Sol and uses him as a battering ram to clear the ring. The Game is quickly thrown out of the ring by Jayson Price. Not much longer, The Game slides into the ring and strikes Teo Del Sol with a jumping uppercut as the fans, and The Game, shout some word that sounds a bit like a Japanese Anime. Immediately after, Jayson Price hits him with the Downfall.

Thomas Uriel Bates: This kid can’t get a break, can he?

After some chaos, and a clearly out of his depth referee, The Game rushes back in the ring and strikes Teo Del Sol with yet another one of those jumping uppercuts with the Japanese Anime name. He hits Teo again, and rushes to the turnbuckle and jumps from the top, hitting a shooting star press and landing with a DDT to the poor stunned People’s Champion. The Game pins Teo for the win, then rolls out of the ring.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Well that was not very helpful.

He clicks on another video. He watches as James “The Game” Chevalier comes out first, followed by a parade of other wrestlers, all of whom Bates had not heard of before, and most likely won’t hear of ever again. The Game thankfully starts off against some snake character. Game does well against the Snake, and shows some decent, though unpolished, wrestling moves. The Snake catches Game in the face with a foot, and takes the upper hand before tagging in his partner, a poorly outfitted and seemingly stereotypical Indian character. The Game is soon placed in a submission, but manages to break free after a bit of confusion with other participants of the match. Game hits with the jumping uppercut, and shouting the Japanese Anime word once again.

Thomas Uriel Bates: He must really like shouting that word.

In a clearly rookie move, the Game rushes for a pin, but barely gets a one count before being tossed into his own corner, thankfully being tagged out by his partner. It takes a while before he is tagged back in, but when he is he runs through like a bat out of hell. Forearm shots, hip tosses, flipping leg drops, this kid is moving through clearly trying to impress people in his first match in the company. After even more confusion, in your classic WCF style, The Game leaps up and hits one of his opponents with his shooting star into DDT move known as the Game Over. The video ends.

Thomas Uriel Bates: That was… pitiful. Not all his fault though, but as usual that was a typical Seth Lerch mess.

Just before logging off, he notices a new video pop up, this one uploaded today. He clicks, and is taken to a video in another company where James “The Game” Chevalier is already in the ring with his two opponents. The match begins, and descends quickly into chaos just as any Triple Threat Match would. Pinfall attempts broken up at the last second. Submission holds broken just before a tap out. At one point Bates notices that one of the opponents trips over The Game, causing a botch in the match that could have easily ended his career. Not too long into the match, The Game hits his patented Game Over move, and pins his opponent. A punt to the head sends The Game rolling out of the ring as one of his opponents steals the pinfall, and the victory. The video quickly goes to black, with no other mention.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Well, that was disappointing. Almost made Seth’s mess look like a wonderfully crafted display of talent. The kid’s got moves, and could clearly be someone to watch out for. He’s not someone to take lightly right now either. Maybe Sammy will be able to prepare him for the beating he’s got coming for him on Sunday.

Bates shuts the laptop, and in typical theatric method, the screen cuts black with the slamming of the computer.

Scene IV “This Isn’t a Game”
22nd of May, 2016

Not much longer now. The ring has already been built, chairs are almost all in place, and cameras are being set up. The Santander Arena of Reading, Pennsylvania is already starting to look like WCF Slam. WCF Superstar, former Trios Cup Champion, former United States Champion, former Television Champion, Thomas Uriel Bates likes to watch as they build up the stage in which he will soon play.

This time though, Bates has dragged along a cameraman. Earlier in the day he had given a thirty-minute interview to a drone he thought was for the WCF, only to find out it was some kid just wanting to get a sneak peak of Slam. This time, he made sure to get an actual cameraman for the job.

Bates sits calmly down in one of the first row chairs and leans back, placing his massive right arm across the chair next to him. He keeps his eyes to the ring as he begins to speak, addressing The Game.

Thomas Uriel Bates: So here we are James, round three of your W-C-F game. You’ve opened the case, slipped in the C-D, sat through the opening credits, selected your career mode, and only now find out that you are facing the toughest challenge in your W-C-F Career to date. You face Thomas Uriel Bates; me.

Only this isn’t a game. You don’t get to set the difficulty all the way to Easy, no. You have to face the strongest W-C-F superstar on that roster all by your lonesome, and I won’t be taking it easy on you. I’m not like the other people you’ve faced, James. When I punch you, it’s going to feel like a freight train hit you instead. When I kick you, you’re going to see flashbacks to your life while you’re on the way to the Moon. This isn’t me just trying to beef up my skills or trash talk you, this is me trying to tell you that you’re in for a real fight, and not just some video game boss battle.

You see, James, you’re a kid that got into wrestling just to get into shape. You played W-C-F Slam on the Playstation or X-Box or whatever, and you thought you could get to looking like those guys on your game. I tell you, you did a good job. I’ve seen the before and after pictures, and I’m proud of you, I really am. That D-D-P Yoga is something else isn’t it? The problem is, you didn’t sign up for love of the sport. I did.

You’ve got some skills in that ring, I’m not going to lie. It’s unpolished, it needs work. I’m sure Sammy Donnigan has already told you this, but I’ll repeat it; if you want to succeed in this company you’re going to have to train your ass off, perfect your skills, and hope like hell you don’t run into certain people before your career actually starts.

James, I’ve been wrestling all my life. It’s in my blood, passed down to me from both my father and my mother. It’s in my very D-N-A. You can change your outward appearance, you can fight the facts all you want, but you cannot change your D-N-A. I rebelled against it, decided to be a professor, but you know what? It wasn’t what I was meant to do.

It took me some time to figure that out. Once I did, I went to my father’s Gym and trained even harder. I then got a phone call from Seth Lerch and became a W-C-F superstar. I won championships, I made a mark here in this company. I’ve wrestled legends and future legends. I’ve tasted victory, and I’ve tasted defeat. I made it in the big time kid.

I rebelled again though. Another of my passions called me away, and I went to it. Still, the blood in my body kept calling me home. Each time I was on the debate stage talking about my political agenda, I wanted to slam somebody, or sometimes everybody through a table. Every single time I heard one of those greedy corrupt politicians say some lie, or misquote the Constitution, I wanted to give them a taste of my boot and a bit of moon dust. I kept hearing the call, and the longer I was away, the louder that call got. It was calling me to come home.

So I did. The call got too loud, and the voters seemed to fall more and more into the trap laid out by these experienced politicians and businessmen. They used things to call attention away from the subject, away from the things that mattered. They used code words to generate certain feelings. Hell, just look at Donald Trump. Anytime anyone brings up the fact that he hired illegal immigrants he shouts the word “Wall” as loud as he can, and the voters eat it up! That’s not the world I was meant for, and my blood knew it.

I came back home. I came back because this is where I belong. Inside that ring is just the same to me as breathing. It’s what I do, it’s what I am. You though, James, I’m not so sure. I mean one of your signature moves looks like it was taken right out from the Street Fighter games. You have to sneak away to play your games like some kind of crack head. I know Sammy’s doing all he can to shape you into a real fighter, but even Sammy’s got to know this isn’t what you’re cut out for. You belong behind some game console battling it out with some big giant monster, not trying to battle a big giant monster in real life.

Why do you think Sammy’s not fighting you too hard on your gamer-like move-set? You play out Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat out there all you like, and Sammy’s going to be okay with it because he thinks that will keep you in that ring. He fears that if he tells you to do some other signature moves, some other finishers, then you’ll have too much withdrawal and no show a match due to playing some video game in the back.

When you step in that ring against me, James, you’re going to see that this is not one of your games. You’re going to see this isn’t some boss battle where you hit the controls up, down, left, and right or whatever to get a weapons cache dropped in the ring for you to use. This is a fight, and you’ve come completely unprepared.

Your blood will be calling you in that ring, James. It will be calling you home. As I punch, as I kick, as I toss you around like a rag doll in that ring, you’re going to be hearing the call to go home. You’re going to wish you were back at home sitting on a couch, kicking your feet up, a bowl of pretzels to your right, a big 44 ounce cup of Coke to your left, and your game controller in your hand. When you wake up to the pain and suffering that you will receive at my hands during our match, you’re going to think long and hard about where you belong.

Now, James, I’m not telling you to run home. I’m not telling you to get away. I’m just telling you what I think will happen based off of everything I’ve seen about you. You seem like a good kid, even though you’re hanging around some very bad people, and I want to help you. If you belong at home, then this match will be what makes you decide to go home. If you’re really here for the long run. If you really have what it takes, then you may just have beaten your addiction to those video games.

Now James, if you’re going to stick around and become a wrestler there’s a few things you need to know. Number one; don’t trust Seth Lerch. He’s the boss sure, but he’s a drunken idiot that lets his friends get away with anything while telling everyone else they’re his friend just so he can stab a knife in their back, take their wallet, and shred their contract while laughing all the way to the poor house. Be careful around him.

Number two; don’t trust Logan. Seriously, don’t even drink or eat anything he offers you. Treat the man as you would treat Bill Cosby. A legend in the industry, but also someone who wants to drug you and have his way with you as you’re sleeping. He didn’t get the title of Hotdog King for winning a contest at the State Fair.

Number three; don’t trust Dag Riddik. He doesn’t just think he’s better than you, he thinks he’s superior to you. In his mind, only Nordic people are true people, everyone else is less than human. None else is worthy enough to be in his plane of existence, except other like-minded people full of the same hate. That’s why he’s a perfect fit for The Family. Full of hate and arrogance.

Number four; you’re not Family. Seth knows it, Dag knows it, Logan knows it, hell even you’ve got to know it. They’re using you for whatever purpose they see fit, and they’re going to spit you out when they’re done. With the Trios Cup cut short, they may just do it sooner rather than later. They may wait until Classic is done too, just in case you somehow manage to find your way to the top. But sooner or later, James, they’re going to dig their knives into your back and have their way with you before tossing you off to the side like a wet noodle.

Me? I’m giving you a chance. I see that you could very well be a good kid, and that you might have a bright future ahead of you, as long as you get away from the video games and get away from The Family. I’m not so sure that you can do that though, I’m not so sure that wrestling is in your blood.

Bates turns and looks at the camera, as if he’s looking James “The Game” Chevalier right in the eyes.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Prove me wrong. Put up a fight at the very least, and prove me wrong kid.

With that, the massive Thomas Uriel Bates stands up, smiles at the camera, and makes his way back to the locker rooms to prepare for the match to come.

Scene V “The Family Will Fall, the WCF Will Survive”
22nd of May, 2016

It always gets louder once the fans enter the arena. Excitement having built up for months after they discover their favorite wrestlers will be coming to town. Many of them ecstatic about the possibility of even touching their favorite stars, sometimes not in a quite so innocent way. They bring their signs, they wear their shirts, they chant their slogans, they screen, they cheer, they boo. The crowd works themselves into a frenzy every time, and part of every wrestler loves it, and fears it.

Today though, they seemed to be on the mind of Thomas Uriel Bates a bit more than usual. He knows that today they cheer, because yesterday they didn’t even know if there was going to be a show or not. He knows that they cheer today, because knowing Seth Lerch, tomorrow is not guaranteed. He knows that many of them may just be coming to watch a train wreck.

The last time Bates was in an arena such as this, he had agreed to a heel turn and was ready to face the crowd and begin a new stage of his career. Now however, he had a different goal. Those fans need to know that when the WCF books a show in their town, they’re going to get a show. With Seth Lerch this is not always possible, but Thomas Uriel Bates has pledged to make it so.

He had already stormed Seth’s office, and faced down Logan. Now he’s going up against James “The Game” Chevalier, who has been used by Seth’s Family as some sort of pawn the last few weeks. Now it’s time to do what he said he would do, and leave a train of Family bodies on his path to restore the WCF.

The cameraman from earlier in the day has stuck with Bates, and is now filming the superstar as he sits on the bench in his wrestling attire, ready to face the day. Usually Bates will look off into the distance, or focus on some object or scene while he talks about his opponent, but this time he looks straight at the camera, straight in the eyes of the Family, and straight into their souls.

Thomas Uriel Bates: Seth Lerch, Logan, Dagvald Riddik, take heed. I have already given my warning to Seth, now I make that warning known to you all. The W-C-F will survive, it will move forward, it will thrive once again. The Family will fall in a collision of broken bodies and broken dreams.

Seth, you’ve chosen your closest friends and allies above everyone else. You’ve betrayed the fans and you’ve betrayed the locker room. I wish I could say this was unusual, but Seth, it’s not. You always pick Logan and crew over everyone else. You always put yourself, and your friends. What has it gotten you so far? You’ve shut down the W-C-F how many times now? We’re on W-C-F Version Seven, Seth. Seven. You’ve tanked this company more times than even Donald Trump has declared bankruptcy, and that’s a lot Seth.

It’s all about Logan, isn’t it Seth? Logan goes around pissing in everyone’s cereal, and you defend him each and every time. When people have enough of him, you shut the company down. Logan can’t even fight his own battle; he’s got to have you there at every turn. When he does fight, he ducks and runs more times than Floyd Mayweather. That’s how he wins his matches, people just get tired of chasing him around the city that they just pass out. When I do get my hands on you, Logan, that’s all it’s going to take.

I’m going to go through your unwilling puppet tonight. It’s really a shame that you’re using young James like this too. His broken body will be on your hands, and while you might not think much of it at first, you will. When I kick his skull in, I’ll be thinking of you Logan. When I tear him in two with my bear hands, it will be you that I’m thinking of Logan. When I slam him straight to China, it will be you I see coming out the other end. When poor James Chevalier chokes on his own blood, it will be you that I see drowning in a sea of crimson.

If you think about sacrificing a match just so your boy Dag Riddik gets to face me for the W-C-F Classic, then I’ll do to him what I will do to James “The Game” Chevalier. I will break him. I will destroy him. The Nordic Supremacist will see that his blood runs just as red as everyone else. In true Norse fashion I will rip his skull from his body and drink to my future victory against you, Logan. James won’t deserve it, but he will. His destruction will be even more brutal than The Game’s.

If you don’t sacrifice your match. If you have the courage to face me at the end of this tournament, then I will have no mercy against you. All of the rage, and all of the anger of the entire W-C-F Galaxy will be behind my fists. When I am done with you, you’re going to think you were the dying father of The Aristocrats. The tears of Seth Lerch will overflow the rivers and the seas. The cries of your Family, Logan, will drown out the sounds of even the loudest crowds. I will have little mercy for your Family, but I will have none for you.

If you run, Logan, I will chase you. If you hide, I will find you. If you cower behind your friends, your family, or even your own personal private army, I will plow through them and stand before you soaked in their blood. I will wrap my hands around your throat and slowly squeeze until you pop like the pimple you are.

Then Seth, then I’m coming for you.

The massive man swipes the camera away, ending the video and sending the cameraman on his way. As the cameraman leaves, another WCF crew member walks into the room.

WCF Crewman: Mr. Bates, it’s time for your match.

Thomas Uriel Bates stands up, and walks through the doors as “Midnight Rider” blares through the PA System.