Post by Zombie DankMorris on Apr 28, 2016 23:33:56 GMT -5
RP 1
WCF – Slam!
Trios Tag Team Tournament Match
Round 1
The Poondock Kings
vs
Caleb Ronan, Tomohawk and Justin Sane
________________________________________
Chapter I: Of Soup and Coffee
** Kaz came crashing through the ceiling, shattering glass, dreams and that newly minted metallic arm of his. He was beaten half dead, if he were alive and that ain’t saying too much. The room scatters, White Steven, Doug and Roman all run for cover. Kaz lay on his side, sorta like a giant turtle, in a trench coat. The poor fool never had a chance. Diablo Calzone was just a few short seconds behind him, falling with the same amount of grace and broken glass. Those cloned agents filtered in by the dozens and we were caught off guard. Our only saving grace in all this was the hockey masked vigilante and former hardcore champion, Philip Baines. He along with ICE Beckman, Steve Orbit and myself fended off the invading horde as Scarecrow and others picked up Kaz and Diablo and headed for safety, making it to the SUV of Doom and Poon. I couldn’t tell you what exactly happened next but the house had caught fire leaving only Baines and I to keep order. It was an all-out brawl but still the fire raged but alas, even Baines has his limits. I wasn’t sure how many there were or still to come but rest assured I curbed stomped every last one of them.
It was all very surreal to me; I knew what these men wanted but at the same knew that they were unaware of the price they would have to pay to attain it. An immortal Mad Mans duality raged inside like to dueling fires. The loud mouth and arrogant Honey Badger enjoyed the fight and knowing that death was soon to arrive. The Evil Incarnate, the psychological tempest moved in and out as unison voices echoed incoherent questions. The fire raged on and I was consumed.. and then I was reborn.
My eyes fluttered back to the world, the one that is well known and yet strangely forgotten. Seth's office always smelt of stale coffee and bad cologne. Lifting my back up and taking in the scene showed me that nothing had changed. Either side of his office was wall to wall books. I don’t even know if they were real books but it was floor to ceiling books. Seth was leaned over his desk with a furled brow and flared out nostrils. **
Seth: And that’s another thing. You don’t pay attention.
** Seth starts mocking me waving his hands in the air, trying to poorly imitate my voice. **
Seth: Aw, I’m Zombie McMorris and Honey Badger don’t give a shit.
** His voice returns to normal as he slaps a packet of papers down on the desk. **
Seth: Look at this, look at all this paperwork I have to do because -
** My mind went elsewhere; It went back Romans house with the fight and fire. **
Seth: God damn it, ZMAC! Complaints, harassment suits; what is this? You can’t be doing this. I’m trying to run a PG-13 Company on the cutting edge on Hulu to table entertainment. But you, you take it one notch above. You cant be taking it one notch above. TV-14 is a dead medium, no one wants to touch it. When you’re on screen ranting and raving about backstage politics and breaking Kayfabe -
** Seth stutters and grunts, trying to contain his rage like a mid-Atlantic George Castanza. **
Seth: The Networks treat me like I have leprosy when you’re around and .. and.. I. CAN’T. HAVE. LEPROSY. Do you get it ZMAC? Do you understand in that drugged up brain of yours. That’s why you’re on the Internet Shows. That’s why you’re on Twitter. You’re a risk and liability. I’m trying to comply with PG-13 and you’re over here TV-14. I can’t. I can’t even say it. TV-14, ugh. I feel like I’m swearing in front of my nana. Like, I need to shower, you know.
** Seth throws his hands up in the air. **
Seth: Of course you don’t know. The last time you took a shower, you had that shitty face turn and that was almost ten months ago! I just.. I just…
** Seth lets out an exhausted sigh as he crumples back down into his chair. He lays his head on the table in the safety of his arms and lets out a whimper. **
Seth: I just want to be successful, Z. I don’t want the old WCF, OK? If I wanted it, I’d bring it back. But the old WCF just doesn’t fit into today's cutting edge modern society.
ZMAC: Hey man, it’s not my fault the locker room is a bunch of raging pussies. If this were back in the day..
Seth: But its not! Its just not. Now I can’t believe I’m telling you this but I have to send you to sensitivity training. It’s a non-negotiable issue. You’re going to go to the class, you’re going to pass the class and hopefully, God willing, knock on wood, I don’t lose a literal piss ton of money in the process. Now, now normally I’d just fire you but I can’t. Oddly enough, you make me a great deal amount of money because we still have our old school fans and our school fans love you. So, Z, for the sake of money I am sending you to this sensitivity training. And that’s it.
** Seth wipes his arms across the air. **
Seth: No more fourth wall, no more making dudes want to quit and sue me for an unsafe work environment. You have the talent to make all this happen if you so choice but you just want to do what you want to do. Well, no more. You’re going to take this class, you’re going to pass it and maybe, just maybe you’ll keep your job. In addition to that, I’m going to put you in Trios. I’m going to give you the length of the tournament to show me and the backers that YOU, Zombie McMoirris can be a company guy.
** Seth leans back and thinks to himself for a moment, putting his fingers to his chin. **
Seth: And if you can’t do it, if you can’t show me that you’re a company guy, then coffees to your left and soups down the hall. I’ll mail Roman your pinks. Do we have an understanding?
** Crystal, my nig. Crystal. **
Seth: Here, let me see.
** Seth pulls out an old school note book that’s beaten and torn. It’s seen better days but he carries it to continue the tradition of ‘old school’ booking. He flips the book around to the most recent page and touches pen to tongue for inspiration. **
Seth: I’ve filled out most of the bracket already but I can drop a couple of guys and throw you in against Caleb Ronan, Tomohawk and Justin Ssss-
ZMAC: BWAHAHAHA!! Wait, who the fuck are them jobbahs?
Seth: They are some of WCFs newest and brightest and -
ZMAC: Nah, son. Don’t even do me dirty like that. Don’t even sit here across from me without them cameras rolling and tell me with a fucking straight face that some dude named Justin Sane and Tom-O-Hawk are the- what did you call them; ‘newest and brightest’ ? L.O.L. Seth, man, I could be carried into slam hog tied to a rail road track, be hit by the train and still make all three of these dudes fuckin tap out with a fuckin flick to the damn nose. That’s your punishment; the agonizing slow burn of watching three bust outs getting their shit wrekt in round one of the Trios because YOU have a little pussy ass grudge against me because ZMAC done keeps it a hunnit up in here. Ight son. Then allow me to keep that shit a hunnit up in here on ya. King of the mufukkin Dumpstuh Fiyahs up in dis shit. And I don't like bein censored. I don't like bein silenced. And I don't like bein brainwashed. And here's wut da fawk imma do about it. Trios Cup 2K16. Poondock Kings gun be wildin on this shit like King Kong's chocolate dong on bath salts.
** Yo, str8 up. Killin everybody up in here. Seth smiles as he folds his hands on the desk. **
Seth: So it seems you found your team, then?
ZMAC: Yo, Honey Badger done found himself and he’s gonna make every last one of these mother fuckers pay up in here for thinking that a couple of poon juice letters and a couple of cryin FGTs are going to stop the beast that is The Coked Up Mad Man. For years I’ve been at this game, splittin wigs and poon for the sheer fucin joy of it but here and now, Seffi, ya dumb ass tanglewood lookin mother fucker, Zombie McMorris is heading deep into Trios and he means ALL THE FUCKIN WAY; deep. This is gonna be a double six and a dick smash for all the WCF.
You want me to go to some sensitivity shit, kool. ZMAC done gonna go and be the most sensitive mother fucker WCF ever done seen. I’ll come out the most sensitive at smashin queer ass homos with extreme prejudice and hatred. The best WCF has ever seen and I know that scares you. That scares the shit out of everyone up in here because they know that with a little bit of fuel and gasoline, the fire that is the Honey Badger inferno will rage and consume everyone up in here. Ain’t no one safe, not even you.
I’m going to spoon feed these jobbahs my THICK and you’re here with a smile on your face because you know it’s true. Then again, leave it to Seffi fuckin Lerch to think that he’s got some great idea rattling around in his noggin’. Well, then you done did it, Seth. Bravo.
** Insert the slow golf clap, bitches **
Justin Sane and his little gaggle of jobber wanna be’s are coming up in into the Dub with hopes of championship dreams and Trios glory but they are only getting met with a violence and chaotic turn of events when they come up tah that Poondock King side of life. Because the strong do what they can and weak endure what they must. If you, Seth don’t want me turn it loose with that bomber shit, then I’ll krush it old school on these FGTs. But you my nig, you caused this. Just be ready cuz ol’ Z is gonna finish it.
_______________________
Chapter II: 4 walls, No Safe Haven
** This sensitivity class was down the on the 4th floor of the Philly Annex center. It was one of those adult education centers where drop outs can get their GED and fans can get their picture taken with santa at Christmas. Hell, I think I saw forgotten WCF champion Drake Ken suckin dick out back for a half a cheese burger. Seffi, dat punk bitch mother fucker was on that ‘mandatory’ bullshit. Ya know ya boi done stomped his ass up in that Annex building and found himself walking into – WTF did I just walk into? FPV is standing in front of a chalf board, all suit and tie like. **
ZMAC: Damn, Franky, you droppin that Tiffy White gimmick already?
** LOL FPV throws a books across the room in frustration like a little bitch. **
Frank Patrick Venable: What the hell, Z; that’s exactly why you’re here!
ZMAC: AHAHA, sorry, son. I must be talkin outloud again. You know these first person narrations are a bitch. It’s all good though. I’ll just pop a squat myself and .. Obi? Jay Price? The hell is this shit?
** Obi and Price were in a half circle in front of the chalk board in one those highschool type desks. They each have a cup of orange drink and you know shits serious when there’s a cup of orange drink around. Then FPV spoke up. **
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ZMAC: Nah, son. I’ll stand.
** They didn’t see what I see. They don’t know what I know but FPV continues anyway. **
FPV: The three of you are here for a reason-
** FPV turns his back and starts writing on the chalk board. He turns back around to see a stick figure inside of a box drawn on the board. **
FPV: This is Bob. Bob is safe. He’s in four walls. See, one, two, three, four. Four walls. Bob is happy. Be like Bob.
** Nows a good a time as any to light this spliff and LOL FPV tryin to be the head screw and keep order up in this shit. **
FPV: ZMAC! You can’t smoke in here!
ZMAC: Why son, this is breaking the fourth wall?
ZMAC: Big D, you wana hit? How about you, Jay? You ready to toke up and salute your country?
Jay Price: Yah, I’m confused too, Frank. Why am I here, again?
** At this point FPV loses his cool. *
FPV: GAH! Because you-
* He points at Jay **
FPV: You try and screw all the interns.
Jay Price: Successfully, mind you.
FPV: And Obi tries to rape everything.
Oblivion: IT DOES WHAT IT WANNNTTSSS!!
ZMAC ( Hittin that blunt ): See Franky, we’re fuckin animals.
** Flash forward to yours truly walking away he building is on fire, a raging inferno has taken hold that's burning this once mighty obelisk of justice to the ground as we hear people nearby screaming and running blindly for their lives. We never find out exactly how it happened. It just did. And that's ZMAC. Don’t worry though, Obi and Price are OK. It’ll take more than just a few bad words to hurt them. I’ll see you boys in Trios. LOL. Walkin away, I continue to hit that spliff and wax on the current situation that I find myself in. **
ZMAC: That methed up mic murderin madman, the Duke of New Yawk, ShitTalkuh PoonStalkuh murkin muddafukkas like it's Nineteen Sixty FIVEEEE YAHH. And they wanna send a muddafukkin ZMAC to therapy? Put me into some kinda group to talk about my feelins? The #FACTS don't give no fawks about ya feelins, ya bunch of tumblreeenin fag a lags. And feelins? Well of them shits a ZMAC got nun So I heard A Seth Lerch runnin her mouth about shit she don't unnerstand. Speaking things about what a ZMAC gots to say and do. See, Seth, well she... she got dem Caitlyn Jennuh feelz. Now a Zombie MACK looked at Seffi right in the Eye and damn near made her drink deez Cock Full A Nuts... Kuppa Kawfee, Kuppa Kawfee, yaaah. But ZMAC scene somethin so pitiful a Honey Badge damn near caught one o dem feelz hisself. Den I near shit myself laughin cuz a Honey Badge don't give no fawks about such weak. But see, them Seffi Lerch eyes with them Persephone sagged bags just couldn't be ignored.I seen eyez. I seen dem eyez yah. Catatonic bloodshot eyes.
That wuddnt any kinda stare a Zombie MACK had ever seen. That was a soulless stare. A stone cold dead stare. The PG zombie stare. But not the ZMAC kinda zombie. Not that thick shit with the split lip. Nah. This was the mindless stereotip zombie. The BRAINS BRAINS BRAINS zombie that lost any true kinda will to live long ago. See, that's a metaphor for wut the Dub See Eff has been for too damn long. That's the shit that wudda got a mufukka murked around here when real mufukkin G's and Z's was runnin this shit.No passion. No FIYAH. Nothin to show any kinda fight, any kinda thick, any kinda BALLZACK on the mic or in the ring. All I see. All I see anywhere in the Dub today is pussy ass triggered lil bitches about to be turned out by ZMAC like dat cheap stank Guatemala poon. That Justin Sane, Caleb Ronan trip about to get clip klopped like a mother fuckin drip dropped. Right on they mother fuckin heads.
Straight up, I don’t even know if you guys even have a team name, or theme music. Honestly, as far as I’m concerned and anyone else up in here, you’re just a couple of walks ons about to get walked right off the fucking cliff that Seffie Lerch done set cha’ll on. Like, don’t get a Honey Badger wrong. ZMAC, he’s glad that ya here. He needs something to break into, get them kinks worked out. I got a verbal murdah to unleash on the lot of ya. Now don’t get it twisted because my words, they fuckin hurt and if’n you heard the stories and think that Zombie McMorris is a one note joke that starts and ends with a twitter handle and a Shai clap, then ya’ll just ain’t been payin attention and honestly, that goes for the entire Dub; not just you clowns.
I wouldn’t be surprised if you shown up anyway thinkin that this will be your upset victory in the WCF on your way to a Trios steam roll victory. I’m not here to play no games with anyone and I’m as adapt as anyone to take this Trios tournament and do something with it. Unless you boys wanna be like the Dark Rider Gang and hang your hats and careers on one moment in time and literally go nowhere but in retrospect, nowhere will have been the furthest you’ve ever been. Collectively. Like the three of you couldn’t have gotten out of your mothers womb if the doctor didn’t reach his hand back up in there and rip you out of that clown car himself.
Now its like you’ve just stumbled throughout life and you think this is what you want. But my words, they hurt. And this.. this isn’t what you want. You don’t want to be here right now across from The Coked UP Mad Man. You’d have a better chance against Jared Holmes and Joey Flash as they try and use their powers of SEA-duction. At least then you could rip apart the fact that the best thing about their work this week is the fact that Jared drew a picture of a sunset because the Sun sets on the DRG- or something like that. I that was a metaphor for their own self-destruction because in reality, Joey has what Jared wants. A life, a wife, a family. Or had. I mean, everyone’s had something in their life; except for team RTS. They don’t even have air to breath. You boys don’t even know your own damn name and that’s sad. Because its dead fuckin meat and this Coked Up Mad Man is hungry and Trios is just the thing too. Ya'll ain't got no business up in here against someone like me and its against me where your careers gone get got. End ya shit real soon because this is your first and LAST week in WCF. Ol' ZMAC is gonna make sure of that as he and the PDK make quick work of three little FGTs who don't know any better.
** Just then Roman Texts me. I take out my BB6 and tick tack up in this bitch. **
[ Roman: we’re on our way to see Conrad. Meet us as Bobby Custards theme park
ZMAC: LOL. Seth put me in Trios.
Roman: I’ll tell the others. ]
But yo, straight up. I’m on a journey and that journey ain’t endin till I get those Trios belts in my hands. One of the thee most decorated guts up in the dub, a verbal artist, still got art work to make and that canvas.. shes callin.
holla at cha boy.
WCF – Slam!
Trios Tag Team Tournament Match
Round 1
The Poondock Kings
vs
Caleb Ronan, Tomohawk and Justin Sane
________________________________________
Chapter I: Of Soup and Coffee
** Kaz came crashing through the ceiling, shattering glass, dreams and that newly minted metallic arm of his. He was beaten half dead, if he were alive and that ain’t saying too much. The room scatters, White Steven, Doug and Roman all run for cover. Kaz lay on his side, sorta like a giant turtle, in a trench coat. The poor fool never had a chance. Diablo Calzone was just a few short seconds behind him, falling with the same amount of grace and broken glass. Those cloned agents filtered in by the dozens and we were caught off guard. Our only saving grace in all this was the hockey masked vigilante and former hardcore champion, Philip Baines. He along with ICE Beckman, Steve Orbit and myself fended off the invading horde as Scarecrow and others picked up Kaz and Diablo and headed for safety, making it to the SUV of Doom and Poon. I couldn’t tell you what exactly happened next but the house had caught fire leaving only Baines and I to keep order. It was an all-out brawl but still the fire raged but alas, even Baines has his limits. I wasn’t sure how many there were or still to come but rest assured I curbed stomped every last one of them.
It was all very surreal to me; I knew what these men wanted but at the same knew that they were unaware of the price they would have to pay to attain it. An immortal Mad Mans duality raged inside like to dueling fires. The loud mouth and arrogant Honey Badger enjoyed the fight and knowing that death was soon to arrive. The Evil Incarnate, the psychological tempest moved in and out as unison voices echoed incoherent questions. The fire raged on and I was consumed.. and then I was reborn.
My eyes fluttered back to the world, the one that is well known and yet strangely forgotten. Seth's office always smelt of stale coffee and bad cologne. Lifting my back up and taking in the scene showed me that nothing had changed. Either side of his office was wall to wall books. I don’t even know if they were real books but it was floor to ceiling books. Seth was leaned over his desk with a furled brow and flared out nostrils. **
Seth: And that’s another thing. You don’t pay attention.
** Seth starts mocking me waving his hands in the air, trying to poorly imitate my voice. **
Seth: Aw, I’m Zombie McMorris and Honey Badger don’t give a shit.
** His voice returns to normal as he slaps a packet of papers down on the desk. **
Seth: Look at this, look at all this paperwork I have to do because -
** My mind went elsewhere; It went back Romans house with the fight and fire. **
Seth: God damn it, ZMAC! Complaints, harassment suits; what is this? You can’t be doing this. I’m trying to run a PG-13 Company on the cutting edge on Hulu to table entertainment. But you, you take it one notch above. You cant be taking it one notch above. TV-14 is a dead medium, no one wants to touch it. When you’re on screen ranting and raving about backstage politics and breaking Kayfabe -
** Seth stutters and grunts, trying to contain his rage like a mid-Atlantic George Castanza. **
Seth: The Networks treat me like I have leprosy when you’re around and .. and.. I. CAN’T. HAVE. LEPROSY. Do you get it ZMAC? Do you understand in that drugged up brain of yours. That’s why you’re on the Internet Shows. That’s why you’re on Twitter. You’re a risk and liability. I’m trying to comply with PG-13 and you’re over here TV-14. I can’t. I can’t even say it. TV-14, ugh. I feel like I’m swearing in front of my nana. Like, I need to shower, you know.
** Seth throws his hands up in the air. **
Seth: Of course you don’t know. The last time you took a shower, you had that shitty face turn and that was almost ten months ago! I just.. I just…
** Seth lets out an exhausted sigh as he crumples back down into his chair. He lays his head on the table in the safety of his arms and lets out a whimper. **
Seth: I just want to be successful, Z. I don’t want the old WCF, OK? If I wanted it, I’d bring it back. But the old WCF just doesn’t fit into today's cutting edge modern society.
ZMAC: Hey man, it’s not my fault the locker room is a bunch of raging pussies. If this were back in the day..
Seth: But its not! Its just not. Now I can’t believe I’m telling you this but I have to send you to sensitivity training. It’s a non-negotiable issue. You’re going to go to the class, you’re going to pass the class and hopefully, God willing, knock on wood, I don’t lose a literal piss ton of money in the process. Now, now normally I’d just fire you but I can’t. Oddly enough, you make me a great deal amount of money because we still have our old school fans and our school fans love you. So, Z, for the sake of money I am sending you to this sensitivity training. And that’s it.
** Seth wipes his arms across the air. **
Seth: No more fourth wall, no more making dudes want to quit and sue me for an unsafe work environment. You have the talent to make all this happen if you so choice but you just want to do what you want to do. Well, no more. You’re going to take this class, you’re going to pass it and maybe, just maybe you’ll keep your job. In addition to that, I’m going to put you in Trios. I’m going to give you the length of the tournament to show me and the backers that YOU, Zombie McMoirris can be a company guy.
** Seth leans back and thinks to himself for a moment, putting his fingers to his chin. **
Seth: And if you can’t do it, if you can’t show me that you’re a company guy, then coffees to your left and soups down the hall. I’ll mail Roman your pinks. Do we have an understanding?
** Crystal, my nig. Crystal. **
Seth: Here, let me see.
** Seth pulls out an old school note book that’s beaten and torn. It’s seen better days but he carries it to continue the tradition of ‘old school’ booking. He flips the book around to the most recent page and touches pen to tongue for inspiration. **
Seth: I’ve filled out most of the bracket already but I can drop a couple of guys and throw you in against Caleb Ronan, Tomohawk and Justin Ssss-
ZMAC: BWAHAHAHA!! Wait, who the fuck are them jobbahs?
Seth: They are some of WCFs newest and brightest and -
ZMAC: Nah, son. Don’t even do me dirty like that. Don’t even sit here across from me without them cameras rolling and tell me with a fucking straight face that some dude named Justin Sane and Tom-O-Hawk are the- what did you call them; ‘newest and brightest’ ? L.O.L. Seth, man, I could be carried into slam hog tied to a rail road track, be hit by the train and still make all three of these dudes fuckin tap out with a fuckin flick to the damn nose. That’s your punishment; the agonizing slow burn of watching three bust outs getting their shit wrekt in round one of the Trios because YOU have a little pussy ass grudge against me because ZMAC done keeps it a hunnit up in here. Ight son. Then allow me to keep that shit a hunnit up in here on ya. King of the mufukkin Dumpstuh Fiyahs up in dis shit. And I don't like bein censored. I don't like bein silenced. And I don't like bein brainwashed. And here's wut da fawk imma do about it. Trios Cup 2K16. Poondock Kings gun be wildin on this shit like King Kong's chocolate dong on bath salts.
** Yo, str8 up. Killin everybody up in here. Seth smiles as he folds his hands on the desk. **
Seth: So it seems you found your team, then?
ZMAC: Yo, Honey Badger done found himself and he’s gonna make every last one of these mother fuckers pay up in here for thinking that a couple of poon juice letters and a couple of cryin FGTs are going to stop the beast that is The Coked Up Mad Man. For years I’ve been at this game, splittin wigs and poon for the sheer fucin joy of it but here and now, Seffi, ya dumb ass tanglewood lookin mother fucker, Zombie McMorris is heading deep into Trios and he means ALL THE FUCKIN WAY; deep. This is gonna be a double six and a dick smash for all the WCF.
You want me to go to some sensitivity shit, kool. ZMAC done gonna go and be the most sensitive mother fucker WCF ever done seen. I’ll come out the most sensitive at smashin queer ass homos with extreme prejudice and hatred. The best WCF has ever seen and I know that scares you. That scares the shit out of everyone up in here because they know that with a little bit of fuel and gasoline, the fire that is the Honey Badger inferno will rage and consume everyone up in here. Ain’t no one safe, not even you.
I’m going to spoon feed these jobbahs my THICK and you’re here with a smile on your face because you know it’s true. Then again, leave it to Seffi fuckin Lerch to think that he’s got some great idea rattling around in his noggin’. Well, then you done did it, Seth. Bravo.
** Insert the slow golf clap, bitches **
Justin Sane and his little gaggle of jobber wanna be’s are coming up in into the Dub with hopes of championship dreams and Trios glory but they are only getting met with a violence and chaotic turn of events when they come up tah that Poondock King side of life. Because the strong do what they can and weak endure what they must. If you, Seth don’t want me turn it loose with that bomber shit, then I’ll krush it old school on these FGTs. But you my nig, you caused this. Just be ready cuz ol’ Z is gonna finish it.
_______________________
Chapter II: 4 walls, No Safe Haven
** This sensitivity class was down the on the 4th floor of the Philly Annex center. It was one of those adult education centers where drop outs can get their GED and fans can get their picture taken with santa at Christmas. Hell, I think I saw forgotten WCF champion Drake Ken suckin dick out back for a half a cheese burger. Seffi, dat punk bitch mother fucker was on that ‘mandatory’ bullshit. Ya know ya boi done stomped his ass up in that Annex building and found himself walking into – WTF did I just walk into? FPV is standing in front of a chalf board, all suit and tie like. **
ZMAC: Damn, Franky, you droppin that Tiffy White gimmick already?
** LOL FPV throws a books across the room in frustration like a little bitch. **
Frank Patrick Venable: What the hell, Z; that’s exactly why you’re here!
ZMAC: AHAHA, sorry, son. I must be talkin outloud again. You know these first person narrations are a bitch. It’s all good though. I’ll just pop a squat myself and .. Obi? Jay Price? The hell is this shit?
** Obi and Price were in a half circle in front of the chalk board in one those highschool type desks. They each have a cup of orange drink and you know shits serious when there’s a cup of orange drink around. Then FPV spoke up. **
ZMAC: Nah, son. I’ll stand.
** They didn’t see what I see. They don’t know what I know but FPV continues anyway. **
FPV: The three of you are here for a reason-
** FPV turns his back and starts writing on the chalk board. He turns back around to see a stick figure inside of a box drawn on the board. **
FPV: This is Bob. Bob is safe. He’s in four walls. See, one, two, three, four. Four walls. Bob is happy. Be like Bob.
** Nows a good a time as any to light this spliff and LOL FPV tryin to be the head screw and keep order up in this shit. **
FPV: ZMAC! You can’t smoke in here!
ZMAC: Why son, this is breaking the fourth wall?
ZMAC: Big D, you wana hit? How about you, Jay? You ready to toke up and salute your country?
Jay Price: Yah, I’m confused too, Frank. Why am I here, again?
** At this point FPV loses his cool. *
FPV: GAH! Because you-
* He points at Jay **
FPV: You try and screw all the interns.
Jay Price: Successfully, mind you.
FPV: And Obi tries to rape everything.
Oblivion: IT DOES WHAT IT WANNNTTSSS!!
ZMAC ( Hittin that blunt ): See Franky, we’re fuckin animals.
** Flash forward to yours truly walking away he building is on fire, a raging inferno has taken hold that's burning this once mighty obelisk of justice to the ground as we hear people nearby screaming and running blindly for their lives. We never find out exactly how it happened. It just did. And that's ZMAC. Don’t worry though, Obi and Price are OK. It’ll take more than just a few bad words to hurt them. I’ll see you boys in Trios. LOL. Walkin away, I continue to hit that spliff and wax on the current situation that I find myself in. **
ZMAC: That methed up mic murderin madman, the Duke of New Yawk, ShitTalkuh PoonStalkuh murkin muddafukkas like it's Nineteen Sixty FIVEEEE YAHH. And they wanna send a muddafukkin ZMAC to therapy? Put me into some kinda group to talk about my feelins? The #FACTS don't give no fawks about ya feelins, ya bunch of tumblreeenin fag a lags. And feelins? Well of them shits a ZMAC got nun So I heard A Seth Lerch runnin her mouth about shit she don't unnerstand. Speaking things about what a ZMAC gots to say and do. See, Seth, well she... she got dem Caitlyn Jennuh feelz. Now a Zombie MACK looked at Seffi right in the Eye and damn near made her drink deez Cock Full A Nuts... Kuppa Kawfee, Kuppa Kawfee, yaaah. But ZMAC scene somethin so pitiful a Honey Badge damn near caught one o dem feelz hisself. Den I near shit myself laughin cuz a Honey Badge don't give no fawks about such weak. But see, them Seffi Lerch eyes with them Persephone sagged bags just couldn't be ignored.I seen eyez. I seen dem eyez yah. Catatonic bloodshot eyes.
That wuddnt any kinda stare a Zombie MACK had ever seen. That was a soulless stare. A stone cold dead stare. The PG zombie stare. But not the ZMAC kinda zombie. Not that thick shit with the split lip. Nah. This was the mindless stereotip zombie. The BRAINS BRAINS BRAINS zombie that lost any true kinda will to live long ago. See, that's a metaphor for wut the Dub See Eff has been for too damn long. That's the shit that wudda got a mufukka murked around here when real mufukkin G's and Z's was runnin this shit.No passion. No FIYAH. Nothin to show any kinda fight, any kinda thick, any kinda BALLZACK on the mic or in the ring. All I see. All I see anywhere in the Dub today is pussy ass triggered lil bitches about to be turned out by ZMAC like dat cheap stank Guatemala poon. That Justin Sane, Caleb Ronan trip about to get clip klopped like a mother fuckin drip dropped. Right on they mother fuckin heads.
Straight up, I don’t even know if you guys even have a team name, or theme music. Honestly, as far as I’m concerned and anyone else up in here, you’re just a couple of walks ons about to get walked right off the fucking cliff that Seffie Lerch done set cha’ll on. Like, don’t get a Honey Badger wrong. ZMAC, he’s glad that ya here. He needs something to break into, get them kinks worked out. I got a verbal murdah to unleash on the lot of ya. Now don’t get it twisted because my words, they fuckin hurt and if’n you heard the stories and think that Zombie McMorris is a one note joke that starts and ends with a twitter handle and a Shai clap, then ya’ll just ain’t been payin attention and honestly, that goes for the entire Dub; not just you clowns.
I wouldn’t be surprised if you shown up anyway thinkin that this will be your upset victory in the WCF on your way to a Trios steam roll victory. I’m not here to play no games with anyone and I’m as adapt as anyone to take this Trios tournament and do something with it. Unless you boys wanna be like the Dark Rider Gang and hang your hats and careers on one moment in time and literally go nowhere but in retrospect, nowhere will have been the furthest you’ve ever been. Collectively. Like the three of you couldn’t have gotten out of your mothers womb if the doctor didn’t reach his hand back up in there and rip you out of that clown car himself.
Now its like you’ve just stumbled throughout life and you think this is what you want. But my words, they hurt. And this.. this isn’t what you want. You don’t want to be here right now across from The Coked UP Mad Man. You’d have a better chance against Jared Holmes and Joey Flash as they try and use their powers of SEA-duction. At least then you could rip apart the fact that the best thing about their work this week is the fact that Jared drew a picture of a sunset because the Sun sets on the DRG- or something like that. I that was a metaphor for their own self-destruction because in reality, Joey has what Jared wants. A life, a wife, a family. Or had. I mean, everyone’s had something in their life; except for team RTS. They don’t even have air to breath. You boys don’t even know your own damn name and that’s sad. Because its dead fuckin meat and this Coked Up Mad Man is hungry and Trios is just the thing too. Ya'll ain't got no business up in here against someone like me and its against me where your careers gone get got. End ya shit real soon because this is your first and LAST week in WCF. Ol' ZMAC is gonna make sure of that as he and the PDK make quick work of three little FGTs who don't know any better.
** Just then Roman Texts me. I take out my BB6 and tick tack up in this bitch. **
[ Roman: we’re on our way to see Conrad. Meet us as Bobby Custards theme park
ZMAC: LOL. Seth put me in Trios.
Roman: I’ll tell the others. ]
But yo, straight up. I’m on a journey and that journey ain’t endin till I get those Trios belts in my hands. One of the thee most decorated guts up in the dub, a verbal artist, still got art work to make and that canvas.. shes callin.
holla at cha boy.
